Feb 2, 1992
Feb 14, 1992
Feb 18, 1992
Feb 28, 1992
Feb 29, 1992
Mar 3, 1992
Mar 7, 1992
Mar 18, 1992
Mar 24, 1992
Mar 30, 1992
Apr 28, 1992
May 4, 1992
May 10, 1992
May 17, 1992 May 24, 1992
May 25, 1992 Maybe he can explain why
men want women so fat.
May 26, 1992 May 27, 1992 May 30, 1992 May 31, 1992 June 2, 1992 June 3, 1992 June 5, 1992 June 6, 1992 June 7, 1992 June 8, 1992 June 9, 1992 Decided to
look at the maternities. The regular sales girl I know
came to help. She said that I was starting to "show." I
guess Ben will be happy, if it's obvious I'm fatter. I
bought a few things, but this can't go on. The pants have
stretch panels, and the dresses and tops have pleats. The
sales girl talked me into wearing an outfit home. I
stopped to get some new bras, and the salesgirl noticed I
was wearing maternity clothes, and recommended a maternity
bra. I figured, hell, why not. When I brought the bra
home and tried it on, it felt great. It's got a lot of
stretchy material. I don't know about the stork in the
center though.
June 10, 1992 May think I'm crazy for
gaining--but I'm so much happier with a man--a man who
loves the way I look.
June 11, 1992 June 12, 1992 June 13, 1992 June 26, 1992 June 30, 1992 July 4, 1992 July parade. I
showed him my new clothes. Boy am I getting a gut. I got
my 42Ds, but I think I should have gotten 42DD. My new
blouses are long to cover my tummy. I'm not used to
wearing my blouse so long. I asked Ben if he mind that it
hid my tummy, and he said that he loved the long blouse.
The parade was fun--but I don't think I ever ate so much
in one day. I'm glad I've got these stretch pants.
July 6, 1992 July 8, 1992 July 9, 1992 July 10, 1992 July 12, 1992 July 14, 1992 July 17, 1992 July 20, 1992 July 24, 1992 July 30, 1992 August 5, 1992 August 10, 1992 August 17, 1992 August 19, 1992 August 23, 1992 August 27, 1992 August 31, 1992 Sept 2, 1992 Sept 3, 1992 May I be 100 pounds heavier when I see them
next summer!
Sept 9, 1992 Sept 11, 1992 Sept 13, 1992 Maybe I can have an eat-a-thon. We went to Sam's
wholesale club. Ben pretended that we owned an ice cream
parlor,and the employees bought into it. He bought 2
containers or ice cream, cans of toppings, and several
cases of candy bars. Usually, Ben and I stay in bed for a
while on Saturdays. He brought up a couple of packs of
candy bars. As soon as I woke up, I started eating. I had
my mouth full the entire time, so we didn't talk. I just
ate, and he kept getting more food. When we went
downstairs I filled the bowl with ice cream, but then
piled on the toppings. I felt full and a little
uncomfortable all day, but I was determined to see if I
could go past the plateau. On Sunday, I kept eating even
more.
Sept 20, 1992 Sept 25, 1992 Sept 26, 1992 Sept 27, 1992 Sept 30, 1992 Oct 4, 1992 Oct 7, 1992 Oct 10, 1992 Oct 14, 1992 Oct 21, 1992 Decent looking size 30W in
stock. We went to the mall, and I found one. It was a
tent dress. I tried it on, and it fit. I had never gone
out in public in a true tent dress, but I'm glad I've
gotten big enough that I didn't have a choice.
Oct 31, 1992 Nov 1, 1992 Nov 5, 1992 May be able to hit 350 this month. I hope to be well
into the upper 300's by the beginning of next year. I told
Ben that I'm not gaining as fast, and I was disappointed
in his feeding ability. I think that really turned him
on. He's becoming more active in my feeding.
Nov 7, 1992 Nov 10, 1992 Nov 13, 1992 Nov 15, 1992 Nov 17, 1992 Nov 20, 1992 Nov 24, 1992 May not make
350 by the end of the month, but I should be close. Once I
go to the bathroom, I May weigh less. But today's eating
May show up.
Nov 27. Nov 28. Nov 30. Dec. 4 Dec. 20 Dec 25. Dec. 26 Dec 28 Jan 1, 1993 Jan 31, 1993 Feb 10, 1993 Feb 28, 1993 March 8, 1993 March 15, 1993 March 28, 1993 April 1, 1993 April 3, 1993 April 7, 1993 April 11, 1993 April 15, 1993 April 21, 1993 April 27, 1993 May 15, 1993 May 30, 1993 June 15, 1993 June 30, 1993 July 7, 1993 July 20, 1993 July 30, 1993 August 15, 1993 August 29, 1993 September 20, 1993 Oct 1, 1993 Oct 10, 1993 Oct. 31, 1993 Nov. 10, 1993 Nov 25, 1993 Dec. 1, 1993 Dec 10, 1993 Dec. 31, 1993
Joined A fat rights organization today. Hope to find some
men. At 250 pounds and 5'9" I'm not really that big, but
it seems that nobody wants a all woman unless she's
"willowy." Hopefully there will be some understanding men
there.
Went to the Valentine's day dance. Nobody was interested
in me. It seems that all the guys hung around the really
fat women. This 500 pound lady must have been asked to
dance every dance.
I got a copy of the personnel ads. I answered a few.
Maybe I'll put an ad in. They had the top 5 ads of all
time in terms of response. The men ads were cute, but the
top 5 women ads were all over 400 pounds. I can't meet
men in the real world because I'm too fat, but I can't
meet men who like large women because I'm too small. The
big women are lucky.
I got my first response. The man wanted to know if it was
a misprint, since 250 pounds at my height isn't really
fat. He said if it was meant to be 350, give him a call.
If it's 450 or more call him immediately.
Got another letter. He told me he met a 400 pound woman,
and it was going well. He went into too much detail about
her body shape. I wish that I could have been thin and
willowy, but I'm too big boned, even if I could take off
the weight.
I've been playing with this stupid ad for a couple of
weeks. Do I be honest, and give my weight? Are there any
men who would want someone my size? Should I not even
place this ad? Should I become a nun?
Maybe I'll say I'm 400 pounds. At least I'll get some
response. There was an ad that said minimum 350 pounds or
willing to gain. Yeah, I'll gain to 251. Or maybe I'll
be like Candice Bergen, and wear bigger padding each time.
It's hard enough to find a size 18 in talls. I can't
imagine trying to find a size 24 in tall. I guess I would
have to have it made.
I keep getting this crazy idea that maybe I should gain.
I've had to spend my life being stared at for being tall.
But I can't help but think that my life would be complete
with a man, even if I have to gain to get it.
I'm going to place an ad saying I'm willing to gain.
Maybe I won't have to get too much bigger. Maybe I won't
have to. Maybe, even if I do, I'll be happier.
Wow, the ads have started to pour in.
Apr 13, 1992
Well, it wasn't as good as I thought it would be. By the
time you deduct the dirty old men, the perverts, the
married men, and the so-sos that live on the other side of
the country, that doesn't leave too many. Maybe one of
the ones that are left will be OK.
Apr 21, 1992
I had my first date. I almost forgot that I said I was
willing to gain. Jim was OK. He kept asking me how much
I've gained so far. I told him 243--I was 7 pounds when I
born--he didn't think it was that funny.
Jim hadn't called me, so I called him. He told me that do
wasn't fat enough, and I didn't seem all that interested
in gaining. He also said that I was too tall.
I guess I'll try another ad. I'm not going to say how
tall I am. But I guess I need to get a little bigger if
I'm going to attract men who like big women.
I just made the deadline for the ad. I dared for men to
make me 400 pounds or more. I doubt if I'd ever get that
big, but I'll bet I'll get quite a few responses.
Wow, If I get any more responses, I'll need my own zip
code. If I gain to 400, I may big enough for my own zip.
Wow! Look at all these piles! Even after deducting the
married pile, the repeat pile, the pervert pile, and the
other side of the country, I still have about 50 good
leads. But what do I do? They all expect to help me gain
to 400.
Here's a good one to start with. He said that he's active
in the size acceptance movement.
His name is Ben. I don't know if it will be serious, but
he offered to meet me for dinner and tell me about men who
like large women. He seems really understanding.
Ben was really nice. He grew up with a very fat sister,
and has been sympathetic with large women. He told me
about how men find very large women sexy, and how most men
like it when women gain a lot of weight. He also said
that most women don't want to be fat, so there is a
love-hate relationship between fat women and men who like
them. I asked him, what he thought about my size, and he
told me that he liked my tallness. He seemed really
nice--to nice to ask me to gain, but I know he was
somewhat disappointed that I was only a size 18. He also
said he'd have his sister call me.
Boy, that was fast. Ginny, Ben's sister called me
yesterday, and we met today. She's really nice, too.
She's about 400 pounds. I offered to meet her at
Friendly's, but she said she couldn't fit in the seats. I
never thought about that. So, we met at another place
with armless seats. I think that Ben pushed her to see
me. She seemed to try to talk him up to me. But I don't
know what to do. Ginny was a very pretty confident
woman--but I don't know if I can be as big as she. We
have the same body shape, so I could myself in her. Her
breasts are so big they don't fit in the cups, and they're
so big they just hang over her midriff, bra and flesh.
But she has so many men after her.
I thought that Ben would call by now. I really enjoyed
him. I guess he's a gentleman--he won't make me gain-so
he'll just look elsewhere
Ben called. I think I was too anxious. I want Ben to
like me. So, without thinking, I told him I was really
hungry for ice cream and candy.
I saw Ben tonight. He brought me candy. We went out to
dinner, and then we stopped at Friendly's for ice cream.
I want Ben. I'm going to gain. I don't know how
much--but I really like the attention of men who like
large women.
Ben came over again, with candy and flowers. We had
dinner, and I ordered a big dessert. Ben was so happy.
We then went home and watched TV, while I ate the whole
box of candy.
I can't get Ben out of my head. I'm going to his place
tomorrow. I ate my dinner as normal--but then I
subconsciously started eating all kinds of snacks. I went
shopping--I bought all kinds of crap.
Went to Ben's. It was real nice. He kept offering things
to eat, and I couldn't say no.
Ben and I went to dinner again. He kept looking at my
blouse. The buttons were so tight. I could see he was
getting turned on. If he only knew how tight my pants
are, I don't know where I'm going to get tall clothes in
size 20. Do I got to the tall shop and hope something's
big enough, or to the big shop, and hope something's tall
enough.
How embarrassing! I went to the tall shop, and
I told Ben about my situation. I could tell he was
getting turned on, even though he pretended to be
interested in solving my problem. He called his sister,
and she came over for a while. She recommended some
catalogs that did some custom sewing. She said that they
could probably make clothes in talls.
When she left, Ben asked me if I wanted ice cream. I
asked him why he asked, he usually just got it. He told
me that he felt responsible for my clothing problem. "What
Problem?" I said. "There's plenty of room left in here, as
I held up the pleats in my blouse." As he spooned it out,
he jokingly asked if I was going to get "that big." I
told him for the time being. When I got bigger clothes,
I'd get even bigger. I think I made his heart beat so
fast, I saw it. People
I've got to get going on the clothing project. I'm
really gaining. My tummy fits fine in these maternities,
but my arms won't fit in the sleeves, and my butt won't
fit in the pants.
Wow, instant turn-on. Anytime Ben's in a bad mood, or I
want some affection, all I have to do is go into detail
about my gaining. He's such a feeder--but I love every
bit of it. I called one of the companies. They'll make
any size I want in an tall. God, I'm really going to be
an Amazon if I keep gaining. But I've never been happier!
Well, I've hit 275. It's funny, that the same scale
brought me bad news when I was smaller. Now I don't care.
Only 25 more pounds, and I'll be too fat for the scale.
I haven't written in my diary because there's nothing much
new. I keep eating. I eat in front of Ben to turn him
on. I eat when I'm not with him, because it's the only
thing I can do when we're not together that will make him
happy. I outgrew my pants. Still plenty of room in the
front. But there's no room in the butt. The seams were
starting to go. I can fit only in the dresses. I can't
wait to tell Ben that I outgrew the pants.
The new clothes came today. I ordered size 22. I love
being plus size. The pants are so stretchy. It's like
having maternity panels everywhere. But I intend to
stretch it out to the max! I had to replace my bras. I'm
a 40D now. I threw out all of my girdles. I want every
ounce of me to show and jiggle.
Ben came to pick me up to go to a 4th of
We got into a discussion about weight. I gave it a lot of
thought--I thought that I wanted to gain to keep Ben. But
it's more than that. I'm rebelling against society and
everyone who told me about having such a pretty face. I
want to gain. I imagine by tummy and breasts getting
bigger, and I get turned on. I told Ben that I want to
get bigger, and he started to put food in my mouth. I've
never known such a feeling. But I think I found my
identity. I don't fear getting really fat--I crave it.
I invited Ginny over while Ben was working late. I felt
so comfortable with her, that I spilled out my feelings.
She told me that she didn't want to get fat--but she
couldn't help it. I had so many questions for her. How
she felt, how men reacted, how she coped, etc. Since Ben
was working late the next night, too--she invited me over
to her house.
We talked mostly about clothes. I love Ginny's clothes.
She took me to her closet, and showed me her clothes. She
was a size 58. I think it's just a matter until I'm that
size. A long time, because I'll be near 400 being so
tall. She had one dress that was so pretty. It was a
size 60. Ginny told me that when she was gaining, she
always kept one dress a size larger, but she stopped
gaining. "I suppose I could wear it, but it's a bit big."
I asked her who made it, and she said that the lady moved
out of town. I asked if she could make one in her size and
mail it, but Ginny told me that she quit sewing. Than
Ginny told me that I could borrow it to show a new
dressmaker. "No rush to get it back, unless I start
gaining again." I thanked her, and took it home.
I am up to 285. But I can't help but wonder if I'll be
385, and what it will be like. I kept looking at Ginny's
dress. I put it on while I was getting dressed for Ben. I
kept looking in the mirror, and holding out the folds of
fabric. I knew I should have hurried. Ben came to the
door, and upstairs. I sat on the bed, trying to hide the
fact I was in a size 60 dress. Then he asked if I was
going to stand up and kiss him. I did, and he commented
on how short it was. Is that the only thing you notice, I
asked him. He grabbed the extra cloth and pulled it out.
"You weren't kidding about gaining, we're you?" he said
jokingly. I told him how I got to borrow it. I then got
worried. What if I really got this big? I guess it's too
big for you. He then told me that it was bigger than
anyone he dated before. "Oh," I said disappointedly. "Who
was the biggest girl you dated?" "Cynthia was about 425
or so. I guess she was around a size 56." "Was she your
perfect size," I asked. He told me not. I was getting
worried. "Well how big did you want her to be?" "She was
about 75 pounds away." "Oh, so 350 is about your size?"
"Oh no he said--the other way--about 500." Ben spent the
night feeding me--an erotic night for sure!
I love Ginny's Dress. I wear it in front of Ben all of
the time. He gets so turned on. He thinks I do it just
for him. It's so special. I hate to give it up to give
to the seamstress to copy. But soon I'll have my own copy
of it.
I don't weigh myself too much--but I'm near the 300 point.
I guess it would be quite a milestone but being this tall
it isn't that much. Neither is 400. I don't know where
I'll stop. Not any time soon.
I invited Ben to my weigh in, since I figured I'd be over
300. I AM!!! 300 wonderful pounds. My pants are
stretching out. My breasts are bigger. I love it
My new dress came back. I'm disappointed. It's an exact
copy of Ginny's. But it's not as big. I guess it wasn't
the style I liked, it was the size. I want to fit it. I
hope she never wants it back. The distance between my
body and the dress is smaller--but I've got a long way to
go.
Ben had a sweet 300 party for me. It was just the two of
us. He had a ceremonial weighing in, and I'm 304 now. He
got the cake icing, and changed it to 304. I gave Ben a
small piece of cake, and ate the rest. I didn't know if I
could do it, but I thought it would be fun trying. I'd
probably be about a 24 now, but these pants are so
stretchy, It'll be along time before I outgrow them.
All of my bras are getting tight and the hooks are
breaking. I love the feel. I went and bought some new
ones. I'm a double D! I love it. 44DD. Ben was so
turned on too. I can't imagine why I was against gaining.
I've never had so much fun. My bras are so much bigger
with wider straps and backs and reinforced cups. But even
so, I feel them starting to point down even with my bra.
Without, they are tilting about 45 degrees.
I'm starting to get turned on by food. I think as I get
more experienced in becoming a feedee, I'm learning the
finer points. Ben and I got to the grocery store. We
read the labels comparing the calories. Little do the
people know that we are looking for foods high in
calories. Sometimes I eat to see what my limit is. I eat
until I'm almost sick. But it's paying off as I watch my
figure becoming fuller.
Ben and I went to the Mall. we stopped at the food court
and ate a meal and desserts 4 p.m. we stopped at a few
stores. At Lane Bryant, I got the next size larger
panties. I looked at the bathing suits on sale. But then
I realized that by next season nothing on the rack would
probably fit. I asked Ben how big he thought I'd be by
next swimming season. "Oh I imagine over 400," he said.
God! 400 pounds! We then went to a nice restaurant on
the other side of the mall. We both ordered a meal. But
since Ben had already eaten one meal, he slowly funneled
his meal to me, dessert and all. The chairs at the
restaurant started to feel uncomfortable. Just another
sign of success in my quest to get bigger.
While I was waiting for Ben, I looked over the Lane Bryant
Catalog. I'll be able to order things from there for a
while after I outgrow the things at the store. The bras
go really high. I ordered some big house dresses. I wish
I was big enough to fit in them.
Ben bet me that I couldn't finish a container of ice cream
in one day. I know that I can, and I've told him I've
done it many times before. He then opened the freezer,
and showed me the 5 gallon bucket. I told him that I
would need to start early in the morning. But I had no
problem in getting a good start. We sat on the couch and
watched TV all night. Between eating the ice cream and
adjusting my clothes around my new rolls, he got really
turned on.
Saturday morning and I invited him to my house. When we
got up I opened my freezer and Ben commented on the 5
gallon bucket of ice cream in my freezer. "So you like
the big containers," he said. "No, we have a bet, don't
we?" I filled a cereal bowl full of ice cream and had
breakfast. No matter what I did, I would always get a
bowl and dig in. By the time night came, I was stuffed,
but I scraped the last bit out. I'm sure it was more
psychological, but my pants felt tight. I kept pulling
them looser. Ben was astounded, but I assured him I
didn't want to do it again.
I don't know if it was a coincidence or the ice cream, but
I am up to 312 pounds. My stretch marks are purple. I
even feel fatter as I walk.
I went to mall at lunch. There was a bunch of teens, and
they called me names. I love it! I stand tall as my
tummy pushes its way out, taking my stretch pants and top
with it. I feel so feminine in my DD bra.
The kids will be back in school soon, so I walked past
them again. I didn't have to, but I love how they point
out my size. I love being big! They teased me again.
The last day before school. I bought a triple scoop ice
cream cone and walked past them and ate it. Yes I'm, yes
I'm a pig.
No kids. But I got my ice cream anyway. The adults watch
me too, but they don't say anything. I'm only 312. I hope
I'm not hitting a plateau.
I'm still 312. I'm still eating a lot. Ben told me that
he would love me, even if I stopped gaining. I wonder if I
could eat everything and stay the same?
Ben and I had a great idea. If they can have a
telethon--
I waited to weigh myself. I did it. I am now 320. I doubt
if I'd ever want to eat so much at one time again. I still
felt uncomfortable, even though I'm not eating as much
this weekend, until I realized my clothes were tight. We
went to Lane Bryant, and I got a 46DD. I'm up a size on my
panties, too.
I went to the mall at lunch again. I had a big lunch and
tried some clothes on. I'm a 30W. A size 50. Soon my
clothes will be in the 50's and available only in
catalogs. I stopped at a few eating places and had
dessert. I want out of this 48 I'm wearing. I want to eat
myself into nothing but 50's. As I walked, I pictured
myself into size 60 tent dresses.
Ben came over, and I told him I wanted to show him
something. I pulled out the Lane Bryant bag, and he
asked if I got something nice. I pulled the top out
showing Ben the size 50 tag. He gave me a big hug. I then
told him I needed his help. He asked me how, and I told
him I was anxious to outgrow all of my 48's. He brought me
a bag of candy bars, and I got started.
Ben came with me to the Mall. We looked at some more size
50 tops. I also looked at stretch pants. Ben asked me if
I was outgrowing them. No, I told him. They're pretty
big. But I also told him that I planned to hit the upper
300's before winter was through. I bought a couple, and
stopped at my usual food places on the way out. When I got
home, I put the pants on. They fit. I started pulling
the waist out. I then starting listing Thanksgiving
dinner, Christmas goodies, Christmas dinner, etc.
I weighed myself. 325! I remember looking at that same
scale and dreading when the numbers got bigger. I love
being fed. I love being big. I love eating whenever I
want. I love the attention I get from Ben. My life is a
thousand percent better now than when I was dieting.
Now that the weather is getting cooler, I'm spending more
time inside. More time to eat, and less exercise to
counteract what I do eat. I remember when Ben said I might
be 400 by next summer. I doubt if I'll gain 75 pounds
over the winter. But hopefully I'll be a good ways
towards it.
I'm gaining weight faster now. I've gained 5 pounds since
I last weighed myself. My last size 48 top is tight. So I
say goodbye to the 40's. Ben is really turned on by my
more rapid weight gain. He started to feed me more than he
seemed to back off. I have at least 170 more pounds to
gain before I even think of trying to level out. I
encouraged him to keep feeding me.
Ben and I have a new game. It's called trick or treat. I
put on Ginny's size 60 dress, and say I'm dressed as a fat
lady. Ben then gets a bag of candy bars and put them in
my bag. You know, Ginny's dress isn't nearly big on me
than it used to be. Of course, I eat all of the candy
bars all night.
I can feel majors changes in my body. My breasts have
totally lost their firmness. Even in a support bra, they
hang over my midriff. My tummy has gotten very flabby and
I can feel the rolls overlap by body. I love to touch and
feel my new body. I love when Ben touches it too.
Ben told me that he was invited to a semi-formal party. I
asked if he was going to leave me alone. He told me I was
invited, too. I then started to panic--what was I going
to wear. I was so used to stretch pants--I didn't own a
dress that fits. I couldn't squeeze into my old ones and I
don't think Ginny's size 60 house coat was appropriate.
Ben said we'd have to go shopping. I told him that I
doubted any place would have a
Halloween! The neighbors kids came and one little boy
hugged me and put his head into my stomach. He commented
how fat I was. His mother was horrified. But I told her
it was OK. When I asked the kid about what he said, she
said she liked the fat and cuddly. He then asked me how I
got fat. I jokingly said that I ate a lot of candy bars.
He told me that he liked me fat and offered me his candy.
That's all I need! Another feeder. Ben sure bought a lot
of Halloween candy. I spent the night eating what was
left over, and there's still more. The problem with the
little ones is that it takes too long to open them. I had
to open one while eating another to keep eating non-stop.
335 now. I gained 5 pounds in the fist week of last
month, but only 5 more for the last 3 weeks. I'm a third
of the way through the 300's and I'm ready for the month
when everyone overeats.
I
Ben had another marathon day planned for me. I would eat
almost to the point of being nauseated. I would let it
settle, and then do it again. Ben bought a case of cashew
nuts, They are so fattening.
I'm full of bright purple stretch marks. I can almost see
the difference. My bra's getting uncomfortable, so I took
it off tonight. Ben told me that really obese women
sometimes don't wear bras, because it is impossible to
support large breasts, and that they are just another role
of fat anyway. I know I have a long way to go before I
get that fat.
I'm up to 342. I think I'll have no problems hitting 350
this month. My weight gain is back on track. If anything
I can gain more quickly now. I think it's that I've eaten
to the limit so much. My stomach can hold more. I used to
consider once a day as being regular. Now I usually have
to go twice a day. But it's not what I'm eliminating,
it's what staying.
I'm really getting obsessed with my weight gain. I can't
wait to get dressed in the morning to see if my clothes
are tighter. I spend more time looking at myself in the
mirror.
Ben and I started to plan Thanksgiving. We're having our
big meal and his sisters at noon, and then our big meal at
home. I figured if I had a chance to hit 350 this month,
Thanksgiving would have to be a feast.
I got a resource book for large people, and ordered
several catalogs of super sizes. My clothes are getting
tight. Even my stretch pants which seemed so big.
Thanksgiving. What an embarrassment. I love it! I bent
over to pick up a fork I dropped, and the rear of my
stretch pants tore wide open. Luckily Ben's sister lent
me old her pants. 52 inch waist! My butt really hung
over then end of the chairs. By the time we got home, Ben
asked about the turkey. I told him I was tired of turkey.
He sat next to me, and told me if the embarrassment caused
me to stop to want to gain, he would understand. Hell no,
I said. I just want to eat something fattening. I
weighed myself before I went to bed. 341. I
The new catalogs came today. I sent for several top and
pants next day air. I was afraid that the Thanksgiving
dinner would cause my other pants to split. Funny at
home--not funny of it happens at work. I ordered some 54
waist pants to allow plenty of room. I called Ben and
asked him to pick up some cashews. He asked how many, and
I said a case or two. He came home, and I sat and watched
TV and finished 4 cans.
New pants. They looked so big in the box, but once I
slipped them over soft pertruding tummy, they didn't seem
so big. But they were lose enough to eat and not worry
about splitting them.
The cashews didn't quite do the trick. I'm only 348.
But I'd still like to hit 400 by summer. I want Ben to see
all 400 pounds of me in a bathing suit in our pool.
Finally 350. Another milestone. 48DD--2 more inches for
the next milestone--bras in the 50's. The bigger my
breasts get, the wider the bra straps, but the less they
are able to hold anything up.
Not much new except Christmas. Only gained 5 pounds since
early Dec. Same size clothes-not even much tighter. Ben's
really turned on by my body. I'd still like to hit 400 by
summer. But I can't force it.
Wonderful Christmas dinner. I remember several years ago
when I watched what I ate and denied myself. I love eating
until I start to feel nauseous.
I hit all of the stores looking for half price candy.
Found quite a bit. Ate quite a bit.
Ben got turned on by all of the candy wrappers laying
around. I hadn't weighed myself in a while, but all of
the stretch marks were bright red. I'm up to 360! My
pants that were kind of lose are just about right. I guess
I should start looking for 54's.
I start the year at 361. I'm glad the rush is over. Now I
can just sit around and eat and work on my bathing suit
figure for the summer.
I've forgotten to write here in a while. I'm up to 370.
Ginny was here. I hadn't seen her in a while. We were
talking about clothes. She looked at my closet and liked
what I have. She told me it was too bad she wasn't a
little smaller, because she'd like to borrow my clothes. I
remember when being her size was a fantasy for me. Now
it's almost reality.
What a boring month. I just sit and eat every night. But
I've already gained 5 pounds this month. I looked at the
catalog and ordered some new clothes. Besides starting to
outgrow these clothes, I'll get them big enough for Ginny
to borrow.
I keep forgetting to write. I'm 382 now. I invited Ginny
over to see my new clothes. I'm only a little smaller
than she is now. She brought some clothes over for me to
borrow. She told me that this was the largest size that
was too small for her.
.
It's getting closer to spring. I ordered a bathing suit.
It's a couple of sizes too big, but since swimming season
is still a few months away.
I had a surprise when Ben came home. I greeted him wearing
my new suit. I don't think I've ever seen him so turned
on.
389! I'm so close to 400 I can almost taste it. I want a
party.
Got my 50DD bra from the catalog today. I can barely reach
back to snap it. I guess I'd better start getting front
hooks. Luckily I just got the one. It sure takes a lot of
maneuvering to get the bra over my roles of fat in the
right place.
393. Everything is falling in place. I ordered some size
60 dresses. This 58 isn't too tight yet, but I want to be
ready.
My new 60's came. I love the feel of all the cloth. When
Ben came home I held it out. He nearly attacked me trying
to be affectionate. After I put it on, he couldn't stay
away from me.
395. It's like waiting for Christmas to come. So close,
but not there yet. I can't say I haven't tried. I've been
sitting here in my size 60 dress eating everything in
sight.
I got on the scales. I did it! 400! I cut out big
numbers and taped them to the wall. Ben could not stay
away from me after he saw them. I was worried about
hitting 400 by summer, and here it is spring.
Ginny came over. I gave her my size 58 dresses since they
were getting tight. I still have her size 60 dress from a
year ago, so I thought it would be an even exchange. For
the first time I was wearing it not because I wanted to
excite Ben, but because it is my size.
Ben asked me if I reached my goal weight. Now that you're
400. . . I interrupted 402. I asked Ben if I was getting
too big. I told him that I was getting slower and able to
do less things. He asked me what I wanted. I told him I
loved be desired by him, but I enjoyed eating. He handed
me a candy bar and gave me a big hug.
I was so focused on reaching 400 and size 60, that I quit
thinking about it. But I maintained by eating habits with
large servings and lots of snacks. However I didn't
notice that I had outgrown my pants. I didn't have very
many dresses, but I had to wear them until new pants
arrived.
Well, I finally got to go swimming in my new bathing
suits. I'd be afraid that they would be too big, but
they're kind of tight. I was hoping to be 400 sometime
during the swimming season, and here I am all 410 pounds
of me in the pool.
I love my ability to turn on Ben, but I kinda thought I'd
stop gaining at 400. Now here I am at 410, looking at
special catalogs for size 62. I just kid of thought that
everything would end at 60.
My bra was getting so uncomfortable. I ordered a 52DD to
see how it fit. It's tight too. I guess because the
bigger it gets the less elastic there is. I'll have to try
a 54.
54DD fit a lot better. Wearing a 62 top feels better, too.
I can see me visual bigger than Ginny. It wasn't that long
ago when she seemed so much bigger.
I'm having problems getting all of my 417 pounds into the
bathing suit.
I'm as big as I wanted to get. Why do I keep eating? I
guess it's a habit. I just keep growing.
I always wondered why very large women wore those funny
smock looking tops. They look like circus dresses. At 430
pounds now I know that it's the only thing that fits.
Swimming season is almost over. I had to wear a cloth top
because I just couldn't get into my suit.
I felt miserable hitting 450 until Ben reminded me how
good it feels to be a large woman. I stand tall, even
though my stomach sticks out several feet in front of me.
Size 64. I just have too many roles to wear stretch pants
anymore. With my stomach hanging over my legs, it's hard
to get my pants to fit under my stomach. I can only wear
these circus looking dresses to cover all of this flesh. I
guess I'll order a few
God, I feel like a truck in these dresses. My butt sticks
out a foot behind me, my stomach a few feet ahead of me.
I'm not graceful!
I remember eating Halloween candy last year trying to get
bigger. I don't need to get any bigger, but I'm still
eating. Last year I gave out the candy. This year I just
sat and ate. My young FA friend came and asked where I
was and if he could hug me. When I came to the door, he
said "you sure got fatter." His mother was more horrified,
but I assured her that he was only making an observation,
and his observation was correct. I looked back in my
diary, and I'm 133 pounds larger! 468
475 and bulging out of my 64's I guess I should have laid
off the candy.
Thanksgiving, and the biggest pigout day of the year. I've
got my new size 66 dress. At least I won't split my seams
like last year. I really don't need to add to my 483
pounds.
I hadn't been wearing a bra, since they are so
uncomfortable. But at work, they said all female
employees had to wear one. Ben measured me, and I'm a
56F. He was getting turned on, so I let him weigh me. 491.
Ben asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him I
needed more dresses. I told him to skip the 68's. We
ordered some 70's
The end of a year, and the beginning of a milestone A
quarter ton of me wrapped in my size 70 dresses.
..