# should i tell my girlfriend



## cheekycharlie (Jan 31, 2009)

Hi
I have always been attracted to bigger women since i can remember. I have a girlfriend who isn't big, which doesn't bother me because i love her, although she would look amazing carrying extra weight. The urge for me to tell her that im a FA is at the back of my mind constantly. Should i tell her or could it cause a serious issue.
cheers


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## mossystate (Jan 31, 2009)

Imagine her coming to you, telling you that she is attracted to men who look nothing like you, but that she loves you, so, no worries. Imagine that she has been thinking about men who look nothing like you, while being intimate with you, maybe even needing to do that to get off. Imagine that she constantly thinks about how you would look better if you were different. Imagine how that takes away from a true connection. Your connection is being affected as you read this.

Ask yourself why you would be telling her. What is it you think you will gain. What might be lost. Do you want to ask her to change? It's one thing to talk about fantasies with your partner, but this is something that goes much deeper. 

Why didn't you just find a fat woman to begin with. While physical appearance is not everything, it is certainly important. Were you looking for a project? Are you a project? Are you out of that fat admirer closet? Are you as attracted to her body as you are to fat bodies? If not......this is going to be a long and potentially really ugly struggle...and not just for you.


Yeah, I guess I just don't know why you would want to tell her....other than to be selfish. Might want to really think if you want to dump all your ' stuff ' on her....as you say you love her.


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## Mac5689 (Jan 31, 2009)

it is totally up to u, i don't think anyone can help u make a decision. the only thing anyone can do is help u way the pro's and con's of telling her.


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## LalaCity (Jan 31, 2009)

Mossy said it best, but I'll just reiterate -- imagine your partner telling you, "My ideal partner is a physical type _other_ than you, but I still love you anyway..."

Maybe you could handle it, but me? I'd be crushed and my self-esteem would plummet.

She's the person you've chosen to love. Accept the entire package or move on.


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## Blackjack (Jan 31, 2009)

You can either be truthful with her about it now and let whatever happens, happen; or you can be deceitful and hide it.

One way has a chance of hurting her now. The other will end up hurting you both.

My advice? Grow a pair and tell her. It might hurt, but at least you'll be doing the honest thing. And if it doesn't work out, you'll have a chance to find someone to whom you won't have to lie about how attracted you are to them.

Or, you could just deal. If you love this woman, then love her. If being with her is more important than your lust, then just go with it.


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## Fascinita (Jan 31, 2009)

cheekycharlie said:


> I have a girlfriend who isn't big, which doesn't bother me because i love her



I _always_ recommend confessing to your lover that the way they look "doesn't bother" you.


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## mediaboy (Jan 31, 2009)

Maybe you could justplay sir mix a lot's big butts song until she gets the point


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## chicken legs (Jan 31, 2009)

Nah...don't tell her.

I it would be like accidently downloading a virus on your computer.
It would slow things up and then eventually crash your system. 

What if she told you she liked ginormous cocks? How would that effect you?


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## Leesa (Jan 31, 2009)

No, do not tell her. Send me her telephone number and I will tell her!


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## Victim (Jan 31, 2009)

If you aren't willing to share what you are with who you love then the relationship might be doomed already.


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## imfree (Jan 31, 2009)

cheekycharlie said:


> Hi
> I have always been attracted to bigger women since i can remember. I have a girlfriend who isn't big, which doesn't bother me because i love her, although she would look amazing carrying extra weight. The urge for me to tell her that im a FA is at the back of my mind constantly. Should i tell her or could it cause a serious issue.
> cheers



Wait for an opportune moment, like when she's berating herself
for being heavier than she thinks she should be. You could then
tell her that you find heavy to be attractive. Seriously, I don't
know which is worse, to tell her something she doesn't need to
hear or to hold back on telling her about something that has the
potential to injure the relationship. I didn't know myself well
enough to be able to communicate my attraction to heavy
women when I married my ex in 1984, but I wish I had!


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## Chimpi (Jan 31, 2009)

Imagine a situation in which you're allowed to be (and should be encouraged to be) open and honest with your girlfriend, about anything and everything. That's the way I wish to live my life with someone, that's the advice I have to offer. The person whom is with you should and deserves to know everything there is to know about you, as well as you should and deserve to know everything there is to know about them. Honesty goes a long way, and the more she understands you the more you both can work together in creating an ideal relationship between the two of you.

The choice is still yours though, of course.


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## Jazz Man (Jan 31, 2009)

I would say this isn't something that you need to have a special conversation about and "come out of the closet," as it were. But it's not really something that needs to be specially avoided either. Is it really that big a deal? There's no law that says the mate we choose has to meet every one of our preferences exactly. I mean, come on, no one would ever find anybody that way. I don't see a problem with these things coming up in casual conversation. My wife has admitted that she finds bald guys attractive and that doesn't bother me, even though I still have a full head of hair. And I don't think I've even convinced her that her extra weight makes her more attractive to me. This is a minor issue, I wouldn't sweat it. Admittance is okay when the mood is right but it's not like you're telling her you had an affair.


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## kittencat (Feb 1, 2009)

alright soo ummm.....jsut make sure that you say it with tact.And if that is how u feel she should know...though it is a tough call.
Good luck with that.


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## mossystate (Feb 1, 2009)

Guy has a fat girlfriend...guy likes to go online to look at thin women...he prefers thin women, it's what excites him, but is not ' bothered ' by his fat gf...he wants to tell his fat girlfriend that he prefers thin women...

...tells fat girlfriend...she wonders what the hell she is supposed to do with this information...he feels better...she just wonders....she wishes he would have told her this before she was emotionally invested in the relationship....does he want to ' roleplay '?, and how would that even work...does she have to wonder every time a Jenny Craig commercial comes on tv?....his head never turns, even briefly, towards a woman who resembles her....she wonders when another shoe might fall.....he feels better....he breathes easier....she just wonders if she can get the hell out of Dodge....I mean, he DOES love her and all.

If being an FA is about being hardwired, then how is there a middle ground. A strong preference can only be pushed down so far and for so long.


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## Jay West Coast (Feb 1, 2009)

cheekycharlie said:


> Hi
> I have always been attracted to bigger women since i can remember. I have a girlfriend who isn't big, which doesn't bother me because i love her, although she would look amazing carrying extra weight. The urge for me to tell her that im a FA is at the back of my mind constantly. Should i tell her or could it cause a serious issue.
> cheers



Yes. .


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## bmann0413 (Feb 1, 2009)

Just wait until the time is right. Like when if she asks that question you know she's gonna ask sooner or later: "Does this make my ass look big?"


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## Blockierer (Feb 1, 2009)

How do you hide from your gf that you watch pics of fat women?
Just I'm curious.




cheekycharlie said:


> Hi
> I have always been attracted to bigger women since i can remember. I have a girlfriend who isn't big, which doesn't bother me because i love her, although she would look amazing carrying extra weight. The urge for me to tell her that im a FA is at the back of my mind constantly. Should i tell her or could it cause a serious issue.
> cheers


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## Ivy (Feb 1, 2009)

No. I think telling her would be a very selfish thing to do because the only person who'd be feeling any better about things would be you. She would end up feeling pretty insecure and no matter how much you show her and tell her that you love her, she's going to feel as if she's undesirable and not good enough.


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## goofy girl (Feb 1, 2009)

mossystate said:


> Imagine her coming to you, telling you that she is attracted to men who look nothing like you, but that she loves you, so, no worries. Imagine that she has been thinking about men who look nothing like you, while being intimate with you, maybe even needing to do that to get off. Imagine that she constantly thinks about how you would look better if you were different. Imagine how that takes away from a true connection. Your connection is being affected as you read this.
> 
> Ask yourself why you would be telling her. What is it you think you will gain. What might be lost. Do you want to ask her to change? It's one thing to talk about fantasies with your partner, but this is something that goes much deeper.
> 
> ...



What Mossy said.



LalaCity said:


> Mossy said it best, but I'll just reiterate -- imagine your partner telling you, "My ideal partner is a physical type _other_ than you, but I still love you anyway..."
> 
> Maybe you could handle it, but me? I'd be crushed and my self-esteem would plummet.
> 
> She's the person you've chosen to love. Accept the entire package or move on.



What Lala said.



Fascinita said:


> I _always_ recommend confessing to your lover that the way they look "doesn't bother" you.



No shit, huh?



bmann0413 said:


> Just wait until the time is right. Like when if she asks that question you know she's gonna ask sooner or later: "Does this make my ass look big?"



hahaha..Ok..now THAT is funny. hahahaha


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## cinnamitch (Feb 1, 2009)

You know for some reason just the fact you said her not being fat doesn't "bother" you just chaps my ass to no end. Call me an old fashioned stupid fool, but when someone who is supposed to love me and looks at my body i want it to do more than not "bother" him. I want it to turn him on, look at me with desire and pride and love. You want to make yourself feel better by telling her? Why? I lived with a man for 15 years who despised what i looked like, all the while telling me because he loved me, it didnt "bother" him that much in our lives together. Let me tell you one thing though, when you do tell her, from that day forward it will "bother" her, it will make her question her attractiveness to you and then to men in general in the long run. She will no longer look at you with total trust , knowing she can never be herself in front of you. From that day forward she will hold a bit of herself back from you , so as not to "bother" you any more than necessary. If you love her as you say you do, be into HER, love her body, revel in the fact that you have someone who loves you and can share your day to day life with good or bad. In the long run at the end of our lives we are but a shell of ourselves, our beautiful fat will turn to saggy skin, the maniliness of younger years with wither, but when you look upon the face of someone who you have shared a life with, all you will see will be the love shining from them in return.


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## kinkykitten (Feb 1, 2009)

I'm pretty much with everyone else here. Although I can see it from your perspective and wanting to get it out there.

My ex was always telling me what he found attractive. Blonde hair, Tanned, Big boobs and someone who wears revealing clothes in public. Everything I'm not... I have black hair, very pale skin, not alot of boobage and not one to be an exhibitionist in public. This really knocked my already rock bottom self esteem. The relationship didn't end well and left me with even more hang ups and complexs' than I already had.

Just my two cents....That is all I will say. :bow:


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## kinkykitten (Feb 1, 2009)

bmann0413 said:


> Just wait until the time is right. Like when if she asks that question you know she's gonna ask sooner or later: "Does this make my ass look big?"



LOL rep... that made me giggle! Sounds like a good cue though! :happy:


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## LoveBHMS (Feb 1, 2009)

Chimpi said:


> Imagine a situation in which you're allowed to be (and should be encouraged to be) open and honest with your girlfriend, about anything and everything. That's the way I wish to live my life with someone, that's the advice I have to offer. The person whom is with you should and deserves to know everything there is to know about you, as well as you should and deserve to know everything there is to know about them. Honesty goes a long way, and the more she understands you the more you both can work together in creating an ideal relationship between the two of you.
> 
> The choice is still yours though, of course.



I totally agree with this. The OP never said he'd love her more, or even be more attracted to her if she were fat, just that he'd like it. I mean many people would love it if their partner won the lottery, or could write romantic poetry or were the type to spontaneously send flowers for no reason, but just because you'd _like it_ does not mean it's a deal breaker.

Like Jazzman says, you don't have to think your partner is 100% perfect. There are an infinite number of people in relationships with somebody who is not necessarily 'their type'. 

I have a friend who played that game with is wife about "What three famous people would you sleep with if you had the chance and I'd allow it?" His wife chose an older "distinguished gentleman" sort, I think it was Sean Connery. So clearly she likes the "distinguished older gentleman" type, even though my friend (her husband of many years) is her same age. He never felt she loved or was any less attracted to him simply because she said "hey, I find this particular thing to be hot."


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## Ruby Ripples (Feb 1, 2009)

cheekycharlie said:


> Hi
> I have always been attracted to bigger women since i can remember. I have a girlfriend who isn't big, which doesn't bother me because i love her, although she would look amazing carrying extra weight. The urge for me to tell her that im a FA is at the back of my mind constantly. Should i tell her or could it cause a serious issue.
> cheers



Are you thoroughly confused yet? 

I agree with the others who say that telling your girlfriend that you are an FA, is not a good idea, simply for her esteem. 

HowEVER... you are here on Dimensions. Clearly your FA side is enough to make you find sites like this, and to post on them. I just want to tell you that when Im in the Dimensions chat room (which i LOVE and have some great friends there now!), there are always men in the room that are married FAs, not married to fat women. They all say "you can't help who you fall in love with" and ... "there were no fat women in my social circle" etc etc.... whatever. They are married to women that arent fat, and they are now hanging out in bbw chatrooms. They have a fat woman shaped hole in their lives. Some have been going to that chat for years and years. 

So, I can't and won't tell you to split up with the girlfriend that you love. Just consider how you would feel if you married her, and were going on sites like this behind her back, because this big part of your sexuality is not being satisfied in any way. 

FTR, I just want to tell you that all those guys in that room that Ive asked, have said that yes they wish they had married a bbw.

IF you have a fat woman shaped hole in your life, I think you should think about things.


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## liz (di-va) (Feb 1, 2009)

$.02 $.02 $.02 $.02 $.02 $.02 $.02 $.02 $.02 $.02 $.02 $.02 $.02 $.02 

The question to me here is not _should I tell her?_, but how serious is your preference? How important is this? Period?

Which okay, how can you know, but you say you are thinking about it constantly. You're bothering to write here.

I don't know how old you are--you sound kind of young. If you're 21 or something...then I'm not sure we should be encouraging you to stay with your current girlfriend at all costs, only to hurt her more when this eventually comes out. Because it sounds like it will. I think you are going to have to be honest in some fashion about this.

[I guess I think life *is* middle ground, especially when we're young. If people get stuck in the wrong places on their way, shouldn't we encourage them to get to the right places? Nobody hatches out of the egg in toto, or avoids getting all messily entangled on our way into life--we most of us do, for lots of reasons.]

I do not mean to sound cavalier in any way about your girlfriend in this situation--rather the opposite. I think I'd want to know if I were she. I would find it hurtful to be left out of this, especially if it's a crucial ingredient in what's going to happen to her in coming years.

I *do* agree, however, with the idea that you have to make the decision here and you have to live with it....NOT take it out on her. If you decide you're gonna stay with this...then don't blame it on her. Ever. However...I'd say give serious thought to it, and that doesn't mean hope she gains. Don't act on guilt and shame...she doesn't deserve that, nor is that the best way to act with integrity. Don't turn liking fat girls into (more of a) big glamorous forbidden thing. Because if you date a fat girl...she will also still just be a girl. Just fat. Not magically fixing everything because of it.


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## LalaCity (Feb 1, 2009)

Truthfully, we know nothing of the particulars of this relationship. Are the OP and his girlfriend a relatively new couple or have they been together a long time? Does he feel that they've really developed a bond of trust, that he knows her completely? Is it a really committed relationship? Does he envision spending the rest of his life with her? Etc., etc.

Without knowing any of this it's really difficult -- hazardous, even -- to dispense advice (though, I must say, in the absence of more detailed information, I stand by my previous admonition).

And I would also ask the OP if admitting his deep-seated preference is designed to encourage her, however sub-consciously, to gain. I'm not trying to accuse him of any ulterior motives, but I am wondering if this is possibly an underlying issue.


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## Oirish (Feb 1, 2009)

This is a bit of a slippery slope either way. The only way a relationship is going to work out is if the people involved are honest with one another. However, Mossy is absolutely spot on when she asked "how would you feel..."
So you really have to determine for yourself just how important it is to you that your girlfriend is a BBW. You say you love her how she is, and nobody here has any reason to think otherwise, so is this just an issue of preference or a very passionate desire? You shouldn't have to just go through the motions if you really want to date a big girl and she doesn't want to gain. If you bring it up you could strain the relationship...or you could wind up with the BBW you've always wanted. 
If its just a preference issue and you love the girl then just be with the woman you love and try not to dwell on it. People fluctuate in size over time pretty naturally so maybe one day she'll put on a couple pounds and will appreciate your reaction. It all really boils down to whether you want to be with THIS girl or with a fat girl in general.


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## Fyreflyintheskye (Feb 1, 2009)

Ivy said:


> No. I think telling her would be a very selfish thing to do because the only person who'd be feeling any better about things would be you. She would end up feeling pretty insecure and no matter how much you show her and tell her that you love her, she's going to feel as if she's undesirable and not good enough.



lol Ivy, this has nothing to do with the question at hand, but I'm going to rep you just for the status message from the Iggy Pop & the Stooges boxed set title. 

I'm not a very active member of the boards, but if I had a nickel for every time I've seen this particular question, I'd have lots of overflowing piggy banks.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Feb 1, 2009)

Ivy said:


> No. I think telling her would be a very selfish thing to do because the only person who'd be feeling any better about things would be you. She would end up feeling pretty insecure and no matter how much you show her and tell her that you love her, she's going to feel as if she's undesirable and not good enough.


This. Exactly.

I agree with Chimpi that openness and honesty is of paramount importance in any relationship - but there are times when NOT telling someone something wears on YOU, but is the kindest thing for the other person. This is one of those times.

Telling a woman you love that she's not your ideal of beauty is never, EVER a good idea.


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## Ivy (Feb 1, 2009)

ShakenBakeSharleen said:


> lol Ivy, this has nothing to do with the question at hand, but I'm going to rep you just for the status message from the Iggy Pop & the Stooges boxed set title.
> 
> I'm not a very active member of the boards, but if I had a nickel for every time I've seen this particular question, I'd have lots of overflowing piggy banks.



haha thank you!! it's a waaay frequently asked question.



BigBeautifulMe said:


> This. Exactly.
> 
> I agree with Chimpi that openness and honesty is of paramount importance in any relationship - but there are times when NOT telling someone something wears on YOU, but is the kindest thing for the other person. This is one of those times.
> 
> Telling a woman you love that she's not your ideal of beauty is never, EVER a good idea.



yes! openness is totally important, i couldn't agree more. but then there are times when you should just keep it to yourself. this is totally one of those times.


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## frankman (Feb 1, 2009)

imfree said:


> Wait for an opportune moment, like when she's berating herself
> for being heavier than she thinks she should be. You could then
> tell her that you find heavy to be attractive. Seriously, I don't
> know which is worse, to tell her something she doesn't need to
> ...



Wow! Who would have known there's a sly little devil residing within the normally Zen-like Imfree?

To answer the original question (which has been done eloquently and right by many before me): I'm kind of bummed out about the fact that you describe her entire appearance as "it doesn't bother me". 
I don't know about you, but I'm not that platonic, I need a girlfriend whom I find attractive, not just because of her wonderful personality. So let me ask you this:

When you met her, did you find her hot/sexy/attractive? If your answer is yes, don't tell her, you'll be fine. 
If your answer is more of a maybe, tell her and let her decide if she is okay with that.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 1, 2009)

Nothing in this world spells out love like someone telling you that you're second choice........:doh:





chicken legs said:


> Nah...don't tell her.
> 
> What if she told you she liked ginormous cocks? How would that effect you?



If his cock is REALLY okay with me, then I'm not going to carry on about bigger cocks...I'm not that stupid...or inconsiderate.


Don't tell her that her ass ain't big enough......it won't go well for either of you....I promise.


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## olwen (Feb 1, 2009)

cheekycharlie said:


> Hi
> I have always been attracted to bigger women since i can remember. I have a girlfriend who isn't big, which doesn't bother me because i love her, although she would look amazing carrying extra weight. The urge for me to tell her that im a FA is at the back of my mind constantly. Should i tell her or could it cause a serious issue.
> cheers



If you're asking then it sounds like you want to tell her. You know it won't go over well tho, so if you like things the way they are then keep your mouth shut. However, your feelings will probably creep out and she will notice. The question then becomes how long before she figures it out if she hasn't already. 

There's no point in saying you should have just gotten with a big girl in the first place since, I get it. Love comes and sometimes we all will just take it just because we hate to be alone and we think we can ignore certain things and make other thing work, but you know....IMO, if you're asking, your days with her might just be numbered.


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## Donna (Feb 1, 2009)

I think others in this thread have covered the subject far better than I could but I feel compelled to respond to this quote:



imfree said:


> Wait for an opportune moment, like when she's berating herself for being heavier than she thinks she should be. You could then tell her that you find heavy to be attractive. *snip*



No, no, no, no, hell fucking no, no, no, no! When a woman is berating herself, and therefore displaying some horrible self doubts, saying something that would confirm those self doubts has the potential of being very damaging. If it were me on the receiving end of this, I would quit berating myself awfully quick and turn that self anger on the other party. 

"opportune moment" my ass


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Feb 1, 2009)

Stop being so selfish - end the relationship and let her find someone who loves because of who she is - not inspite of.


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## imfree (Feb 1, 2009)

frankman said:


> Wow! Who would have known there's a sly little devil residing within the normally Zen-like Imfree?.....snipped......





Donna said:


> I think others in this thread have covered the subject far better than I could but I feel compelled to respond to this quote:
> 
> 
> 
> ...



I didn't seriously mean that, guys. In my fat sexual obsession
days I would have really meant it. Believe me, in the 2 years
I've been in the forums, I have learned all of the reasons not
to say something like that. I seriously doubt that I'll ever be
in a relationship again, anyway. I know myself well enough to
disclose my preferences at the beginning of a potential 
relationship. Most women are going to judge me as being a
fat-obsessed creep, anyway, and besides, obesity, diabetes,
the pornographation of fat women, and the domestic violence
school have left me impotent. What gets my dick hard is a
really goddamned moot point, right now! I'm tired of the shit.
Nobody will ever fucking love me, anyway. Abuse me, nothing
you say could make me feel any worse, anyway. Oh, by the
way, be blessed and have a nice day, Y'all. This is not an
attack on anyone's character, lest I get banned, too.


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## fatgirlflyin (Feb 2, 2009)

Blackjack said:


> You can either be truthful with her about it now and let whatever happens, happen; or you can be deceitful and hide it.
> 
> One way has a chance of hurting her now. The other will end up hurting you both.
> 
> ...




I don't see what telling her would accomplish. It would for sure hurt the girl to find out that someone she's in a relationship isn't even attracted to her. What purpose does that serve other than making him feel better? 

I don't understand why he got into a relationship with someone he didn't find attractive with in the first place. Attraction is a very big deal in my opinion.


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## fatgirlflyin (Feb 2, 2009)

mediaboy said:


> Maybe you could justplay sir mix a lot's big butts song until she gets the point



That song isn't about fat women. Its about thin women with big tits and a fat ass.


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## [email protected] (Feb 2, 2009)

Ruby Ripples said:


> Are you thoroughly confused yet?
> 
> I agree with the others who say that telling your girlfriend that you are an FA, is not a good idea, simply for her esteem.
> 
> ...



Yes, yes, this is real trouble...

So, Charlie, you're is a closet FA. Well, I've been there as a teenager, I've been out for quite some time and now I'm there again. I can totally relate to what is going through your mind.

First of all, let me say, even if you tell her, your girlfriend will most probably NOT gain weight. She can't change her genetics and she won't change her habits. Being a size 2 is an asset, and nearly all women will work very hard to keep that up, no matter what their boyfriend says. So cross that option off.

I'm sure you love your girlfriend for a number of reasons. Common interests, niceness, great conversation and so on. Now you're thinking -- wouldn't life be perfect if she were all this AND fat?

Sorry, kiddo, but no. Being attracted to big women and actually being with them is very different. There are all kinds of issues ranging from low self-esteem to health concerns to social acceptability. If you wanna see it for yourself, then drop this girl and go see. *Don't blame it on her, though.* You will be doing it for yourself.

In the end you have to pick your poison and swallow it. Alone. 

Personality-wise, with girls things are always unpredictable. Besides that, you can either have A+ socially and C- sexually, which is what you have now, or the other way around. Either way, you're bound to be somehow frustrated, so you have to ask yourself what is more important to you.

My wife weighs 110 lbs. Pretty clear what was my choice there. However, as well put by Ruby, here I am posting at Dimensions, chatting and you name it.

If you must know why, here you go. I've been in this BBW scene since the times of Bulletin Boards. I think 90% of girls are also living a fantasy. The prospect of turning this into reality scares them. When I was single I would come here, have a nice fantasy for a couple days or weeks, many times on the Internet, sometimes in person. Then back to being alone and miserable. What happens now is once in a while, when my "fat woman shaped hole" is too big, I come here, have a nice fantasy for a night, then go back to business-as-usual. My wife knows it's best not to ask, she doesn't get unpleasant answers, not much harm done.

Do I wish I had married a BBW? Only in my dreams. In reality, I wouldn't marry most of the BBWs I dated, and the others wouldn't marry me (I did propose twice). I thought it was time to move on, and although I didn't completely let go of Dimensions and stuff, I cope as best as I can with all this. I don't regret it and I would never tell my wife, because that would only cause more pain.

(BTW: I'm fully aware that whatever I do here is still morally objectionable, so please spare me of hate mail and/or preaching.)


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## mediaboy (Feb 2, 2009)

Ella Bella said:


> That song isn't about fat women. Its about thin women with big tits and a fat ass.



That song ISN'T about fat women in the same way Star Wars IS about fucking your sister.


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## tonynyc (Feb 2, 2009)

Seems as if "Cheeky" has yet to make another post- maybe the sweet adorable BBW of Dims scared him off or is this another one of those bullshit postings  - only time will tell and where the hell is FitJock to straighten out this mess


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 2, 2009)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Stop being so selfish - end the relationship and let her find someone who loves because of who she is - not inspite of.



True



tonynyc said:


> Seems as if "Cheeky" has yet to make another post- maybe the sweet adorable BBW of Dims scared him off or is this another one of those bullshit postings  - only time will tell and where the hell is FitJock to straighten out this mess




He probably didn't appreciate us talking about his penis - even if we were talking about issues of size.......


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## chicken legs (Feb 2, 2009)

[email protected] said:


> Yes, yes, this is real trouble...
> 
> .)




Hey welcome to dims and thanks for the thoughtful ..1st post. I totally sounded like a perv on my first post..lol...oh i am a perv...nevermind.


----------



## LalaCity (Feb 2, 2009)

This is a truly obnoxious post and I hope the OP uses it as a perfect example of how _not_ to live one's life. I'll just skip to the most egregious and/or lame comments --



[email protected] said:


> ... Being attracted to big women and actually being with them is very different. There are all kinds of issues ranging from low self-esteem to health concerns to social acceptability. If you wanna see it for yourself, then drop this girl and go see. *Don't blame it on her, though.* You will be doing it for yourself.



Oh -- God forbid a big girl have issues (as if thin women don't)! Gee...I wonder _why_ a fat girl would have self-esteem issues...I mean, it's not like closeted FAs are posting on a fat acceptance site about how awful it is to be seen with them in public...oh, wait...



> In the end you have to pick your poison and swallow it. Alone.



Give me a fu**ing break.



> Personality-wise, with girls things are always unpredictable. Besides that, you can either have A+ socially and C- sexually, which is what you have now, or the other way around. Either way, you're bound to be somehow frustrated, so you have to ask yourself what is more important to you.



Just because _you_ think that being seen with a fat woman in public is a shameful thing, it doesn't mean all FAs have that dilemma...some have actually grown a set.

How pathetic to base your choice of a life partner on being "socially acceptable." I have no patience for this kind of shite. 



> My wife weighs 110 lbs. Pretty clear what was my choice there


. 

Good. The fatties really don't want nor need you, as it turns out. (Although, I must say, I feel sorry for your wife.)



> I think 90% of girls are also *living a fantasy*. The prospect of turning this into reality scares them.



What's that exactly? Last I checked, I was a fat chick, most of the women here are fat chicks. _That's_ my reality, dude. Can't hide in a closet or pretend it's not my life, unlike you. And what, exactly, is it that's supposed to scare me so much? Finding a partner and having a happy life? Yeah, that's a horrifying prospect for any BBW. Maybe the prospect of finding love is not what scared them...maybe it was you.



> Do I wish I had married a BBW? Only in my dreams. In reality, I wouldn't marry most of the BBWs I dated, and the others *wouldn't marry me* (I did propose twice).



Add another to the list. I'd never subject myself to a life of pure misery with a man who, though he secretly desires me, is publicly ashamed of me (and good for the girls who rejected you, too).



> (BTW: I'm fully aware that whatever I do here is still morally objectionable, so please spare me of hate mail and/or preaching.)



Oops..oh, well...too late.


----------



## TraciJo67 (Feb 2, 2009)

Disclaimer: I saw your disclaimer. I choose to ignore it.

First of all: Wow. Just an astonished ... wow. 

I feel very, very bad for your wife. Hell, I feel bad for *you*. Clearly, you are both attracted to *and* repelled by fat women. You wouldn't be doing any BBW a favor by ditching your long-suffering wife and starting anew with a fat woman. 

Social acceptability? Are you freaking kidding me? Are you still in high school? Do you possess a pair? 

Low self-esteem? That's not contained to fat women. It's not even contained to women. All I have to do is read your words to see that it's a reality for you, certainly. 

Health concerns? There are no guarantees in life. Your 110 pound wife could end up seriously ill. You could. I could. Anyone could, at any time, with little or no warning at all.

Again: I pity your wife. Wow. Just ... wow.



[email protected] said:


> Yes, yes, this is real trouble...
> 
> So, Charlie, you're is a closet FA. Well, I've been there as a teenager, I've been out for quite some time and now I'm there again. I can totally relate to what is going through your mind.
> 
> ...


----------



## chicken legs (Feb 2, 2009)

Woooooowwwwwwwwwwwwww...wow



so it has begun

That guy was talking about personal experiences not you two..so chill.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 2, 2009)

[email protected] said:


> (BTW: I'm fully aware that whatever I do here is still morally objectionable, so please spare me of hate mail and/or preaching.)



I don't believe in morals.....I'm a simple kind of girl that just categorizes people into assholes and non-assholes........must be the low self esteem thing at work and all that.....

Oh and I wouldn't marry a guy with a really small penis that overcompensates with long posts....so no judgments here........





LalaCity said:


> Oops..oh, well...too late.



Well, fudge Lala....I hadn't even bothered to read some long winded first post by a noob until you quoted him :doh:


----------



## LalaCity (Feb 2, 2009)

chicken legs said:


> Woooooowwwwwwwwwwwwww...wow
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Hmmm...how about _you_ chill, honey. Or maybe take a second to figure out that this is a site -- one of the few places in the world, online, or IRL -- for fatties to feel good about themselves, not read a page's worth of drivel about the terrible social consequences of admitting to being an FA.


----------



## Admiral_Snackbar (Feb 2, 2009)

Discussing aspects of attractiveness with your significant other is often like handling a container full of plutonium fuel rods. You do it right, with the proper amount of protection, forethought and consideration for the delicacy of process, happiness ensues and we all sleep well that night.

Do it wrong or fumble it, you create a fuck-all mess where you get dropped into the emotional equivalent of a decontamination chamber full of horsehair bristle brushes, painful exfoliation and quarantine, hoping that you don't crap out your intestines in the coming days as you pray for a quick death.

Of course, that's just an example. :blush:


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 2, 2009)

How about we just all get back to talking about penis already....?


----------



## chicken legs (Feb 2, 2009)

LalaCity said:


> Hmmm...how about _you_ chill, honey. Or maybe take a second to figure out that this is a site -- one of the few places in the world, online, or IRL -- for fatties to feel good about themselves, not read a page's worth of drivel about the terrible social consequences of admitting to being an FA.



don't call me honey.


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## TraciJo67 (Feb 2, 2009)

LalaCity said:


> Hmmm...how about _you_ chill, honey. Or maybe take a second to figure out that this is a site -- one of the few places in the world, online, or IRL -- for fatties to feel good about themselves, not read a page's worth of drivel about the terrible social consequences of admitting to being an FA.



I've faced terrible social consequences just by admitting an association to you, Lala. 

The Mossything won't speak to me anymore, for starters. Then again, is that ... a bad thing ... ?


----------



## SamanthaNY (Feb 2, 2009)

[email protected] said:


> Sorry, kiddo, but no. Being attracted to big women and actually being with them is very different. There are all kinds of issues ranging from low self-esteem to health concerns to social acceptability. If you wanna see it for yourself, then drop this girl and go see. *Don't blame it on her, though.* You will be doing it for yourself.


You say this as though slimmer women have no issues. lol. LOL. 


[email protected] said:


> you can either have A+ socially and C- sexually, which is what you have now, or the other way around. Either way, you're bound to be somehow frustrated, so you have to ask yourself what is more important to you.


So fat women can't be A+ socially? Here that, girls? 
If you'd let fat women down off the pedestals you put them on, you'd see that they're really not so different than other folks. It's not quite the social minefield you fear it is. 


[email protected] said:


> I think 90% of girls are also living a fantasy. The prospect of turning this into reality scares them.


This you're going to have to explain. I don't understand what you're trying to say here. Cuz fat IS my reality. I don't just blimp up when I get online at Dim, and then somehow shed my fat when I want to go out to the post office. 


[email protected] said:


> Do I wish I had married a BBW? Only in my dreams. In reality, I wouldn't marry most of the BBWs I dated, and the others wouldn't marry me (I did propose twice).


You made a choice, and that's fine. You didn't want to deal with the flack you'd get for having a fat girlfriend/wife, and that's okay too. But don't try to cover it up by saying that fat women are emotional minefields, or that happy fat women are somehow just pretending - cuz in the end, it's _your _fear and weakness that caused you to make the choices you did. YOU chose to cater to your social needs first, and your sexual preferences second. Just own that choice - there's nothing inherently wrong with it as long as you take responsibility for it instead of dumping all your reasons on some/thing/one else. 


[email protected] said:


> (BTW: I'm fully aware that whatever I do here is still morally objectionable, so please spare me of hate mail and/or preaching.)


You take the chance when you hit the enter key. Sorry, no one gets out completely unscathed. 

Welcome to Dimensions. Wear a cup.



[email protected] said:


> In the end you have to pick your poison and swallow it. Alone.


Please do.


----------



## LalaCity (Feb 2, 2009)

chicken legs said:


> don't call me honey.



Oh, sorry. "Toots."


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 2, 2009)

All this talk about fat/thin women having issues.....didn't henrlm just prove that menfolk have plenty of issues, too? 

I date men. Don't tell me some of them aren't f*cked in the head seven ways to Sunday themselves. I get tired of this stuff about "women are crazy but men are logical". He just said he married a 110 lb woman when he prefers fatties. Logic at it's best, eh? :doh:


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## chicken legs (Feb 2, 2009)

this is a training vid on how fa should talk to bbws/ssbbws and how ssbhm/bhm should talk to ffa's.

http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/mark-wahlberg-talks-to-animals/727504/


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## LalaCity (Feb 2, 2009)

TraciJo67 said:


> I've faced terrible social consequences just by admitting an association to you, Lala.
> 
> The Mossything won't speak to me anymore, for starters. Then again, is that ... a bad thing ... ?



_Another_ former "It Girl" brought to ruin by an ill-fated association with yours truly (Gwynnie Paltrow barely escaped the same fate, dontcha know!)...Oh, the destruction I have wrought...

*begs forgiveness, hangs head in contrition*


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## Blackjack (Feb 2, 2009)

SamanthaNY said:


> Welcome to *Earth*. Wear a cup.



FTFYletters


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## chicken legs (Feb 2, 2009)

LalaCity said:


> Oh, sorry. "Toots."



Don't call me honey or any slang of the word honey...As a gay tomboy i am highly offended.


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## LillyBBBW (Feb 2, 2009)

Things like this really disturb me. I get it that telling your girlfriend would wreak havok all over her self esteem, yada yada, but what does this mean for her if you keep it to yourself? The concept that you get to see the bigger picture and make decisions on what best meets your needs but she doesn't get to see anything or make any decisions for her benefit seems unfair and almost predatory. Maybe she loves you enough so that you being an FA won't bother her. Maybe not. The truth may be hurtful but the lies are much worse. I think you need to ask yourself if you can give your sweetie the optimum best of yourself just as she's giving for you. Anything less is extremely self serving and when she discovers your secret (they always do) she will tell you so herself.


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## LalaCity (Feb 2, 2009)

chicken legs said:


> Don't call me honey are any slang of the word honey...As a gay tomboy i am highly offended.



Oh well, now you know how it feels to be dismissed and instructed to "chill" when something is hurtful to you.


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## chicken legs (Feb 2, 2009)

Lala i just don't see what you see.. I am a bbw and don't see what you are so offended about. 

i read his post and then yours and back again...and wtf are you talking about.

explain with some of your life experiences.

As a ffa, who wasn't always a bbw, wasn't around big people, and new to even conversating with bhm's and such..i totally related to his post.


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## mossystate (Feb 2, 2009)

TraciJo67 said:


> The Mossything won't speak to me anymore, for starters.



Oh no you didn't!!!!!!!


 pfffffffffff......t


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 2, 2009)

Everyone has a right to their opinions....and to express them on an open forum made for discussion...whether you "see" or agree with it....or not.




@TraciJo....she talks to me....neener neener.....


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## LalaCity (Feb 2, 2009)

chicken legs said:


> Lala i just don't see what you see.. I am a bbw and don't see what you are so offended about.
> 
> i read his post and then yours and back again...and wtf are you talking about.
> 
> ...



Well, obviously I'm not alone in being upset by ol' whatsisname's treatise on the secret lust/public shame of desiring fat girls. I have honestly seen that post in one version or another so many times on this board I am just fed up with it at this point. I don't think I should have to put up with hearing that I inhabit a socially unacceptable body or sit by while some totally obtuse guy rattles off a list of my (and yeah -- I do take it personally) supposedly inherent issues because I'm fat. All the while he's talking about the women who frequent this site as though they're not here and can't read what he's writing about them.

It amazes me that someone doesn't realize that saying stuff like, "You can choose to have an A+ social life (i.e., by denying your preference for fat girls and going with the beautiful eye candy) and a C- sex life (or,in other words, by having sex with that thin woman, who, while fun and ego-boosting to show off as a trophy, is sexually unappealing to you)" and not realize how incredibly insensitive and degrading that kind of comment is to women -- all women, not just fat women.

And then to be told that I should just chill...well, I swallow my hurt feelings every day of my life over people's dehumanizing remarks...I don't have to take it _here_, however. And, I think with few exceptions, the community supports me in that.

Anyway, I'm sorry for the condescending remarks I made to you specifically, but, needless to say, I was more than a little irked at the time.


----------



## SamanthaNY (Feb 2, 2009)

imfree said:


> I didn't seriously mean that, guys.


Yes you did. 


imfree said:


> In my fat sexual obsession
> days I would have really meant it. Believe me, in the 2 years
> I've been in the forums, I have learned all of the reasons not
> to say something like that.


You might have learned the reasons to not say stuff - but not _why _those thoughts are a problem to begin with. Huge difference, and many disturbing miles between the two. 


imfree said:


> I seriously doubt that I'll ever be
> in a relationship again, anyway. I know myself well enough to
> disclose my preferences at the beginning of a potential
> relationship. Most women are going to judge me as being a
> ...


Abuse _you_? This is a giant pity-party load of crap. No one abused you. You're NOT a victim. You were rightly taken to task for your post, and your 911 call for the waaaaaambulance indicates you don't truly understand why. You parrot the words, but they don't have real meaning for beyond convincing others you're not, as you say, a "creep". 

You're not "free" from who you were back when you first showed up here, you're just cloaked. Changing your name doesn't change who you are.


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## Admiral_Snackbar (Feb 2, 2009)

Merv, I need a price check on the violin, micro-size version...also a cleanup on aisle 5.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 2, 2009)

Errrrrmmmmmmmmmm......we're still not talking about penis again.......


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## LalaCity (Feb 2, 2009)

Plus, I find it creepy that his handle is an email address. He doesn't want anyone to know who he is, but he hopes the fatties will hit him up behind closed doors.

Ewww.

Oh, and..

Puh-leeeze.


Ok, that is all.

We now return you to your regularly-scheduled _schwanz-talk_. :bow:


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## TraciJo67 (Feb 2, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Everyone has a right to their opinions....and to express them on an open forum made for discussion...whether you "see" or agree with it....or not.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Well, that's because she's looking to exploit you, GEF. She doesn't care about *you*, she just wants to use you until you're all crusty and dried up, and then wring you out for good measure before kicking you to the curb. Wipe that silly grin off your face, Soldier!


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 2, 2009)

TraciJo67 said:


> Well, that's because she's looking to exploit you, GEF. She doesn't care about *you*, she just wants to use you until you're all crusty and dried up, and then wring you out for good measure before kicking you to the curb. Wipe that silly grin off your face, Soldier!



Now I'm getting all hot and bothered again.......thanks for nuttin' TraciJo! :doh:


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## Lovelyone (Feb 2, 2009)

As a non-FA I cannot imagine how hard it must be to come out of the closet about your preferences to someone you love. I cannot imagine how it must feel to love someone but to secretly wish that they were bigger and not be able to say this to the person I love for fear that they will leave me, consider me a freak, think I would want them to gain weight to keep me happy, and numerous other things that must go through a person's mind when they are contemplating letting their FAness be known. I think that must be one of the hardest things to contemplate in regards to this community. I commend anyone who asks questions to gain insight before just blurting out to a loved one what their beliefs/feelings/enticements or desires are. 

As I said before I am not an FA, but I can tell you that if I were dating someone who was an FA...but i was thin--I would want to know about it before I become too emotionally involved with someone who may or may not be able to accept me as I am throughout the relationship. 

I think that communication is key. Opening up some kind of dialogue with your gf might be a good idea. Personally I think you should tell her, but you don't have to make a big deal of it. A very good friend of mine showed his thin gf that he liked bigger women by saying things like "She looked better in the before picture" during diet commercials, and "oh that girl is pretty, but I prefer a little meat on the bones" when skimming through magazines. After a while she realized that he loved her as a person and that no amount of weight gain (or loss) would change that. It relieved the pressure off of her to always stay thin. 

On a side note...I didn't get that the op was being sarcastic or using negative undertones when he said that it "didn't bother him" that his gf was thin. I understood him to mean that no matter what size she was, he would love her, even if her desired her to be bigger.


----------



## olwen (Feb 2, 2009)

[email protected] said:


> Yes, yes, this is real trouble...
> 
> So, Charlie, you're is a closet FA. Well, I've been there as a teenager, I've been out for quite some time and now I'm there again. I can totally relate to what is going through your mind.
> 
> ...



No preaching dude. Just saying I feel sorry for your wife.


----------



## olwen (Feb 2, 2009)

chicken legs said:


> Lala i just don't see what you see.. I am a bbw and don't see what you are so offended about.
> 
> i read his post and then yours and back again...and wtf are you talking about.
> 
> ...



I haven't finished reading this page, so I don't know if Lala has answered you yet, but I will say this: You weren't always a bbw, well, give it a few more years and it will start to make perfect sense. 

I find his post more sad than upsetting tho....FAs shouldn't have to choose between social acceptability and sexual fulfillment, and the fucked up part is that they think they do have to choose, but in truth they really don't. But you know, because of the way our society demonizes fatness, that "choice" becomes a matter of character. Either you have the fortitude, courage, and conviction to stand up for what you need, like, love or you don't. Own up to who you are or cop out. I couldn't see myself living that kind of lie forever...dunno, maybe it takes courage to live the lie.


----------



## Lovelyone (Feb 2, 2009)

[email protected] said:


> Yes, yes, this is real trouble...
> 
> So, Charlie, you're is a closet FA. Well, I've been there as a teenager, I've been out for quite some time and now I'm there again. I can totally relate to what is going through your mind.
> 
> ...



wow, umm what? Let me see if I am getting this right...a man who is married to a thin woman, but trolls the internet for his fat flesh fetish is trying to give out advice about what to do?


----------



## exile in thighville (Feb 2, 2009)

mediaboy said:


> That song ISN'T about fat women in the same way Star Wars IS about fucking your sister.



it's in the first four lines dude. "itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face"


----------



## exile in thighville (Feb 2, 2009)

mossystate said:


> Why didn't you just find a fat woman to begin with.



this is pretty shrill


----------



## exile in thighville (Feb 2, 2009)

[email protected] said:


> Yes, yes, this is real trouble...
> 
> So, Charlie, you're is a closet FA. Well, I've been there as a teenager, I've been out for quite some time and now I'm there again. I can totally relate to what is going through your mind.
> 
> ...



i really don't see why everyone's getting all offended at this and i-feel-sorry-for-your-wife

there's nothing morally objectionable about looking at pics on the internet of girls you can't have

he dated fat chicks and none of them worked out, he found a personality fit with someone he wants to spend his life with despite not being his ideal body type

that's called not being shallow

you guys are so stupid sometimes


----------



## mossystate (Feb 2, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> this is pretty shrill



yeah, yeah, yeah...your shrillness is ' edgy ' and all about cutting to the chase... *L*


----------



## exile in thighville (Feb 2, 2009)

mossystate said:


> yeah, yeah, yeah...your shrillness is ' edgy ' and all about cutting to the chase... *L*



who you callin edgy


----------



## TraciJo67 (Feb 2, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> i really don't see why everyone's getting all offended at this and i-feel-sorry-for-your-wife
> 
> *there's nothing morally objectionable about looking at pics on the internet of girls you can't have*
> 
> ...



Nothing wrong with that.

But *that* is not what he said, nor is it what he implied. What he said was very insulting, to fat women in general and to his thin wife specifically.


----------



## mossystate (Feb 2, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> who you callin edgy



cool...naked people...did you have a wrought iron pattern on your ass? also, did you get the unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks....mmmmmm


----------



## Mini (Feb 2, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> i really don't see why everyone's getting all offended at this and i-feel-sorry-for-your-wife
> 
> there's nothing morally objectionable about looking at pics on the internet of girls you can't have
> 
> ...



I dunno, but I find it pretty distasteful to call the women here socially unacceptable. It's like going to Ramp Fetish and bitching about how colostomy bags totally ruin the mood.


----------



## wrestlingguy (Feb 2, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> i really don't see why everyone's getting all offended at this and i-feel-sorry-for-your-wife
> 
> there's nothing morally objectionable about looking at pics on the internet of girls you can't have
> 
> ...



Dan, my brother, I think sometimes we as men need to read the column "Ask a Fat Chick" to gain a better understanding of their tirade against this guy (which I also feel he deserves).

For years, fat women bore the burden of their hubbies looking at the skinny girl with the "perky" boobs, and made to feel inadequate when their husbands would point them out in public.

Worse yet were the guys who led covert lies in their marriage, and lusted after the Playboy centerfold girls, while their size 18 unacceptable wife worked hard at home & raised the kids. This guy's post was just the opposite.

I will never accept closet FA's. If you can't live your life with conviction, then you ain't living. The original poster should tell his girl of his sexual urges, and spare her the expense of living a lie with him. The guy who was jumped on is living the lie, and while he may be happy with his choices, he can only cause the woman who loves him more pain when he forgets to clear his cache on his laptop one day and sees the subscriptions to the fat girl websites he strokes it to while she works hard at home or at her career and raises the kids while he's upstairs in his office jerkin' the gherkin.


----------



## olwen (Feb 2, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> i really don't see why everyone's getting all offended at this and i-feel-sorry-for-your-wife
> 
> there's nothing morally objectionable about looking at pics on the internet of girls you can't have
> 
> ...



it's one thing to have a preference for oh say height or for intelligence or someone who is outdoorsy, and to give up one of those things for love. Giving up one of those things isn't gonna turn your whole world or her world upside down either, but it's another to live a complete lie. That's what's going on here. This guy is saying, dude, you'll be better off living the lie. Would you be better off living the lie?


----------



## Wild Zero (Feb 2, 2009)

cheekycharlie said:


> Hi
> I have always been attracted to bigger women since i can remember. I have a girlfriend who isn't big, which doesn't bother me because i love her, although she would look amazing carrying extra weight. The urge for me to tell her that im a FA is at the back of my mind constantly. Should i tell her or could it cause a serious issue.
> cheers



Alright, so I know we're a few days out from this and you haven't made another post but I feel like responding anyway.

If you two really are in love you should tell her about your preference. There's no use hiding what you like from her if you intend to make a life with her in the future. You don't need to have this cloud hanging over your head for years and years, sneaking around with your preference. Let her know what you like and where she fits into your attraction, tactfully. 

Because it's really not as dire as you think. If you're in a serious relationship with her you're obviously physically attracted to your girlfriend, even if she's physically not the type of woman you're normally attracted to. If you root around the boards you'll see posts from dudes who realized they were FAs or at least were "bisizual" after hitting it off with one girl, you're facing that through the looking glass. That doesn't make you a sellout or in the closet or anything; it just means your preferences aren't as rigid as you thought. 

But be open about those preferences. Let her know that in addition to finding her the most amazing girl in the world you also think that fat girls are pretty ace. It doesn't mean you love her any less or aren't attracted to her, you just find other women attractive and _some _of your fantasies don't sync with your reality. Again, if this relationship is as serious as you say then I'm sure she's been open about her preferences and even pointed out men she found attractive who you might have looked at and thought, "Christ, how do I compete with that?" Think about how you felt and responded, if at all. Think about how she mended such dissonance. And then let her know.


----------



## exile in thighville (Feb 2, 2009)

wrestlingguy said:


> Dan, my brother, I think sometimes we as men need to read the column "Ask a Fat Chick" to gain a better understanding of their tirade against this guy (which I also feel he deserves).
> 
> For years, fat women bore the burden of their hubbies looking at the skinny girl with the "perky" boobs, and made to feel inadequate when their husbands would point them out in public.
> 
> ...



i think i missed the part where he said he's a closet fa

EDIT: i see he calls himself a closet fa and "morally objectionable" but i mean, did he date these unsatisfactory bbws in secret? it looks more like he prelabeled himself to escape Da Wrath Uv Da Board than actual closetedness. also who the fuck cares, he's married and you all wouldn't want him anyway. throw this one back.

EDIT EDIT: nevermind, fuck this dude. my only point was that there's nothing "morally objectionable" about settling for his boring life. it's cowardly and boring but it's not "morally objectionable."


----------



## Theotherone (Feb 3, 2009)

Are you still listening Cheekycharlie? I'm afraid the focus of this thread has shifted a little bit from your question.

I think the most on-point responses were posted by Ruby Ripples, Liz(Di-Va), Oirish, and Wildzero. Take a second look at them.

Before you have a conversation with your girlfriend, I think you need to have an honest one with yourself. You need to figure how important your preference for BBWs is in your overall matrix of what attracts you to a woman.

After all, there are hundreds of factors we sort through when determing somebody's relative hotness. For example: Intelligence, loyalty, the music of her voice, fashion-sense, intersection of interests and faith, and so on. 

When you sort through these things, I think you'll be able to see which of factors are "deal-breakers" and which are simply "nice-to-have."

If a factor is a deal-breaker for you, I don't think your relationship will survive its absence. In my case, I'm a literary kind of guy. It is very important to me to be able to debate books. I made the mistake of marrying a gal whose cultural apex was reality TV. End result: Speedy divorce.

If your FA preference is merely "nice-to-have," then I think you can talk to your girlfriend about. Lovers see "Nice-to-have" preferences as charming quirks, like wanting to screw dressed as a Star Wars character.

If, on the other hand, it is "deal-breaker," then break it off without saying a word about it because all you've done is lie to her through ommission. 

A lot of responses in thread provide examples of what happens to your soul you try to live this particular lie. Don't let it happen to you.


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## Fascinita (Feb 3, 2009)

Theotherone said:


> I think the most on-point responses were posted by Ruby Ripples, Liz(Di-Va), Oirish, and Wildzero. Take a second look at them.



What are you, the blog aggregator of Dimensions posts?

Hehe. Just kidding!


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## LalaCity (Feb 3, 2009)

double post.


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## LalaCity (Feb 3, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> my only point was that there's nothing "morally objectionable" about settling for his boring life. it's cowardly and boring but it's not "morally objectionable."



No, it's not his choice to be unfulfilled that's morally objectionable -- it's his characterization of all fat women as being saddled with insurmountable "issues," as well as his belief that having a fat partner results in an automatic drop in social status, that's objectionable...

*the above view supplied courtesy of askafatchick.com :bow:*


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## TraciJo67 (Feb 3, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> EDIT EDIT: nevermind, fuck this dude. my only point was that there's nothing "morally objectionable" about settling for his boring life. it's cowardly and boring but it's not "morally objectionable."



Well, if he was settling into his parents' basement with a cable modem, a case of lube, and a stack of porn, then no ... nothing objectionable there.

But how do you think his wife would feel, knowing that he's "settling" into an unfulfilling life .... with her as the "boring" prize?


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## Tooz (Feb 3, 2009)

I wouldn't like it if my husband "settled" for me and looked at skinny women in his spare time.


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## KevMoney (Feb 3, 2009)

See! I knew you had another boyfriend somewhere, but I was not aware you two were married. Next you'll tell me you actually _like_ children! Gah!


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## Jane (Feb 3, 2009)

I think you should come online to a fat-girl site and get various responses, so that you can declare yourself not responsible for any decision you make.


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## Tooz (Feb 3, 2009)

KevMoney said:


> See! I knew you had another boyfriend somewhere, but I was not aware you two were married. Next you'll tell me you actually _like_ children! Gah!



I actually have 16 children. That's why I am fat! I never lost the pregnancy weight post-kid.


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## Blackjack (Feb 3, 2009)

Tooz said:


> I actually have 16 children. That's why I am fat! I never lost the pregnancy weight post-kid.



It might help if you pulled them out from betwixt your rolls.

JUST SAYIN'.


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## LillyBBBW (Feb 3, 2009)

Blackjack said:


> It might help if you pulled them out from betwixt your rolls.
> 
> JUST SAYIN'.



Bad assed kids, leave 'em there. Builds character.


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## Jane (Feb 3, 2009)

LillyBBBW said:


> Bad assed kids, leave 'em there. Builds character.



And lung capacity.


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## Jon Blaze (Feb 3, 2009)

I really think you should. Communication is key. I think the biggest thing here would just be your tone and what you imply by telling her. You'll never know what will happen if you don't try, and I think pinning it up would be worse. Just speak your mind and don't push her to gain. However, if she mentions the latter (If that's your thing), then continue on speaking your mind, and maybe you she'll agree or you two will find a compromise.

Good luck.


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## exile in thighville (Feb 3, 2009)

TraciJo67 said:


> Well, if he was settling into his parents' basement with a cable modem, a case of lube, and a stack of porn, then no ... nothing objectionable there.
> 
> But how do you think his wife would feel, knowing that he's "settling" into an unfulfilling life .... with her as the "boring" prize?



did he call her boring? he said he's in love with her. 



LalaCity said:


> No, it's not his choice to be unfulfilled that's morally objectionable -- it's his characterization of all fat women as being saddled with insurmountable "issues," as well as his belief that having a fat partner results in an automatic drop in social status, that's objectionable...
> 
> *the above view supplied courtesy of askafatchick.com :bow:*



...however, that is reprehensible.


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## Buffie (Feb 3, 2009)

cheekycharlie said:


> Hi
> I have always been attracted to bigger women since i can remember. I have a girlfriend who isn't big, which doesn't bother me because i love her, although she would look amazing carrying extra weight. The urge for me to tell her that im a FA is at the back of my mind constantly. Should i tell her or could it cause a serious issue.
> cheers



Hi cheekycharlie,

People here are great... and as you can see, they've got tons of different experiences and offer great advice based on it.

Before you tell her anything, you need to decide whether or not you want to be "out" about your preference.

There's nothing wrong with it, but it IS different from the usual 'main stream', so people are going to react.

Are you cool enough with who you are to handle that? If not, can you learn to handle it? (And it's often not as bad as we imagine it might be.)

In my humble opinion, people should just BE who they are. Everyone benefits when that's the case. 

When there are no secrets, everyone then has access to more information, allowing them to make better decisions. Not necessarily does it make life "easier" but it does often help you chose a path that is mentally healthy and happy for you.

She might be glad to learn of your preference, she might not. If you tell her, best to prepare for a wide variety of responses - good, bad or indifferent.

Best wishes to you both. Welcome to Dimensions.


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## Buffie (Feb 3, 2009)

Mini said:


> I dunno, but I find it pretty distasteful to call the women here socially unacceptable. It's like going to Ramp Fetish and bitching about how colostomy bags totally ruin the mood.



Because of your way with words, Mini... and it's a way only you have... without you even having to explain, I learned today that there is such a thing as a "Ramp Fetish" and I also now fully know what it is.

You really are amazing.


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## Tina (Feb 4, 2009)

Buffie said:


> Because of your way with words, Mini... and it's a way only you have... without you even having to explain, I learned today that there is such a thing as a "Ramp Fetish" and I also now fully know what it is.
> 
> You really are amazing.


I, on the other hand, knew without even thinking about it that I didn't want to Google it, Buff. Just knew. 



exile in thighville said:


> i think i missed the part where he said he's a closet fa
> 
> EDIT: i see he calls himself a closet fa and "morally objectionable" but i mean, did he date these unsatisfactory bbws in secret? it looks more like he prelabeled himself to escape Da Wrath Uv Da Board than actual closetedness. also who the fuck cares, he's married and you all wouldn't want him anyway. throw this one back.


I figure he knows himself better than I know him. If he says he's closeted, he seems uninitiated and ignorant enough about being an FA that I believe him.



> EDIT EDIT: nevermind, fuck this dude. my only point was that there's nothing "morally objectionable" about settling for his boring life. it's cowardly and boring but it's not "morally objectionable."



You're right, Dan. Not morally objectionable, but if he's going to settle, he's doing both his partner and himself a disservice. And through his wording and the way he's putting across that having a fat girlfriend is shameful, he's pretty much insulting us fat women, too. I don't dig that, and especially not here. He wants to make that post on Ask Men, fine, it's pretty much expected to insult fat women there. But here? Nuh uh. Why should he get a pass for that kind of behavior here when we can find that anywhere else? This is the place, above all others, where it should not be tolerated at all.


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## SocialbFly (Feb 4, 2009)

Ivy said:


> No. I think telling her would be a very selfish thing to do because the only person who'd be feeling any better about things would be you. She would end up feeling pretty insecure and no matter how much you show her and tell her that you love her, she's going to feel as if she's undesirable and not good enough.



I agree, this is the same thing i thought.


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## SocialbFly (Feb 4, 2009)

Tina said:


> I, on the other hand, knew without even thinking about it that I didn't want to Google it, Buff. Just knew.
> 
> 
> I figure he knows himself better than I know him. If he says he's closeted, he seems uninitiated and ignorant enough about being an FA that I believe him.
> ...




You know, in some ways, this whole issue is kinda like "do i tell my partner i was unfaithful or not" it is a selfish feeling, the only person we make feel better is ourself...if i cheat and confess my life is secure so to speak, while theirs goes to hell...unless he thinks he is going to marry this girl, i say why bother, and even if he is...i date all kinds of men, doesnt mean they are exactly what i am looking for, so if i tell a short man, "I reallllllly like tall men" who does it hurt and why? If i date an asian guy and say "I dont care for dark hair" who am i hurting and why....

it all goes back to is fat a preference or a fetish..as a preference it wont matter, as a fetish, well that is a whole other matter...


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## SocialbFly (Feb 4, 2009)

[email protected] said:


> Yes, yes, this is real trouble...
> 
> So, Charlie, you're is a closet FA. Well, I've been there as a teenager, I've been out for quite some time and now I'm there again. I can totally relate to what is going through your mind.
> 
> ...




Thanks for the reminder that some people can be self centered AND self righteous.

gads.


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## LalaCity (Feb 4, 2009)

Buffie said:


> I learned today that there is such a thing as a "Ramp Fetish" and I also now fully know what it is.



I saw that...I thought about...I decided that I've probably had enough trauma in life.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Feb 4, 2009)

LalaCity said:


> I saw that...I thought about...I decided that I've probably had enough trauma in life.


Ahahahaha. +1.


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## JoyJoy (Feb 4, 2009)

[email protected] said:


> snip Being a size 2 is an asset...snip


It's all about perspective, dude. I can think of all kinds of reasons being a size 32 is an asset, too. Email me at [email protected] and I'd be glad to enlighten you. 

Fat girls make the dude's cock hard. He tried dating us but the trauma of it was just too difficult for him to handle, so he retreated to the comfort of a social paragon, only risking the trauma again when he can't contain himself. Let's give him a break....he's a scarred and vulnerable man living in a lonely, dark place.


To the OP, if you're out there...

2 choices:
1. Tell her if you think you just can't live without a fat girl. Then have the balls to put a mature end to the relationship to find what you need and not stay in the relationship feeling like you've settled. 

2. Suck it up and be the best person you can be in the relationship, and love her completely for who she is, not for what you'd make her in your ideal world. Then stop looking for something better.


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## Fascinita (Feb 4, 2009)

JoyJoy said:


> Let's give him a break....he's a scarred and vulnerable man living in a lonely, dark place.



I agree. I think he just needs a little love and understanding. And I think we should put an emergency team of our most caring, fluffiest fat women-volunteers to work on mollifying the place of hurt in this guy's soul, STAT!

Code Red! Code Red!


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## JoyJoy (Feb 4, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> I agree. I think he just needs a little love and understanding. And I think we should put an emergency team of our most caring, fluffiest fat women-volunteers to work on mollifying the place of hurt in this guy's soul, STAT!
> 
> Code Red! Code Red!


We'll have to be sure to choose the correct implements for the job....but yes! Let's get this guy back to where he needs to be.


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## Fascinita (Feb 4, 2009)

JoyJoy said:


> We'll have to be sure to choose the correct implements for the job....



I'm afraid we'll require a proctologist's kit. This should allow us to reach him in his darkest, most well-guarded of secret places, indeed.


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## JoyJoy (Feb 4, 2009)

I call latex glove-duty!


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 4, 2009)

Buffie said:


> Because of your way with words, Mini... and it's a way only you have... without you even having to explain, I learned today that there is such a thing as a "Ramp Fetish" and I also now fully know what it is.
> 
> You really are amazing.




I don't get it Buffy.....my google search for Ramp Fetish was really unfruitful so I kind of think it might be like the Ramp Festivals held around here.......

http://www.cosbyrampfestival.org/



> There's nothing quite like it. The excitement is in the air ... Just enjoying the West Virginia ramps in the springtime, for me, is what it is all about. Ramps which to this day thrives in the Appalachian Mountains and valleys ... There's nothing quite like Appalachian Ramps.




http://www.richwooders.com/ramp/ramps.htm





Fascinita said:


> I'm afraid we'll require a proctologist's kit. This should allow us to reach him in his darkest, most well-guarded of secret places, indeed.





JoyJoy said:


> I call latex glove-duty!



Stop getting me all hot and bothered again....do you people have any idea how hard it is for me to read this forum sometimes???? :doh: :blush:


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## Fascinita (Feb 4, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> http://www.richwooders.com/ramp/ramps.htm



Ramps fried in butter are pretty darn tasty.


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## maxmm (Feb 4, 2009)

For those still interested in the original topic, here's my input:

This is a very tricky situation. Without full knowledge of charlie's thoughts and feelings, it seems impossible to identify the 'correct' way to handle the situation.

I've been in a similar situation and, for me, what it comes down to is exactly how important fat women are to you. Long after I knew I had a preference for fat women, I still thought I could end up with a skinny chick. I continued to date thin women for too long and eventually realized there is no way I could maintain a happy relationship indefinitely without a fat girl. I am still attracted to some thin women (thin by dims standards, not vogue standards, that repulses me), but it is nothing compared to my love of fat women. If my pendulum of lust swung more towards thin women and I became more 'bisizist', I could be in a relationship with a thin women, even if I did have a slight preference for big women. For my disposition, however, this seems impossible.

The last relationship I had with a thinnish women took its final blow over this issue. Being with a thin chick took a toll on me mentally. I was so split. It was like I was a main character in a Dostoevsky novel. When I got off to her and her alone (that is, without a big girl fantasy in my head), I felt like I accomplished something and I was virtuous- how silly. Obviously henrlm and I are of different mindsets because I could not do what he does. (Like many of you, I also thought his reply was abhorrent, but let's be as nice as possible so as to not alienate anybody, which is not in the spirit of dims. I've been chastised for saying things in a place that I thought was "safe" and I never returned because it was obviously not what I thought it was.) 

Of course, how deeply in love you are is obviously an important factor. I was not madly in love with my ex. If I was, maybe it would have been enough. However, I'm not sure if this is possible because I'd be so f-cked up in the head due to sexual repression that I wouldn't be able to think straight, let alone be happy. Also, loving fat girls is part of me. If this is somehow has to remain unsaid, it is hard for me to achieve a high level of intimacy with another person. Being deeply in love with a thin woman is a bit of a catch-22 for me: if there is a woman who is perfect for me, except she is thin, it would be difficult to maintain a healthy romantic relationship due to inner-conflict. Best we remain friends. Sad fact, perhaps.

Ultimately, I broke it off with my ex-girlfriend. It was much more than her size and I told her multiple reasons. Still, she thought we had a future and when she continued to press me I finally told her I need to hook up with fat women. Throughout the relationship I had hinted at my preference many times and she had some idea that I appreciated large women, but she did not know the full extent of it. She went so far as to suggest she could gain 10-15 lbs, but I knew she did not want to be fat and it would only be a concession to me, which turns me off. Of all the things imperfect in the relationship, this was something that could not be worked on or negotiated. In the end, my preference (that is, my need) was what convinced her we were over. It is a shame, but I did my best not to hurt her or lead her on.

My advice is to think long and hard about how important fat women are to you. If you decide you can end up with a thin woman for the rest of your life, don't break it off and I would advise not telling her bluntly. At appropriate moments you can hint that you like big girls *as well as* little girls, but if you love her don't open the flood gates with a full confession of your clear preference. Over time she can come to know that you appreciate a broad range of women. Just make sure to include her in this range!!!

If you are unsure if you can end up with someone skinny, then don't waste your time and certainly don't waste your girlfriend's time. You need to find out as soon as possible. Much of my introspection about my need for a fat women was during past relationships. Since I was uncertain, it was unfair to my ex-girlfriend and I needed to break it off as to not lead her on and cause any undue pain. 

I know it is hard after a relationship, but you can always be friends with the people you deeply care about. These friendships can last a lifetime and be very satisfying. If in the future you are single and become very interested in a thin woman, for god's sake, stay friends! Don't cross that line until you are absolutely sure her weight will not be an issue.


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## Jazz Man (Feb 4, 2009)

As irony would have it, I just got an inside look at this issue from the receiving end. Earlier tonight, my wife identified herself as a "chubby chaser" and I am not fat. I'm not sure why but I found this amusing. And I immediately thought of this thread and had to come back later and post. Now most of you are probably thinking "doesn't it bother you that she could find some bigger guy more appealing than you?" There will always be someone out there that catches your partner's eye (thus the reason that Brad Pitt, Paris Hilton and the like are hated so much. Well, that and they're idiots). I guess the reaction depends on several factors, mainly how strong your relationship is. If you have given your girlfriend reason to believe that despite this preference for fat women, you will still love her because of who she is, then no harm no foul. 

I guess I agree with those who have said it depends how important fat is to your relationships. Since you got with this one in the first place and sound like you're not even considering breaking it off, I'm guessing that fat is not a necessity for you, which is a good thing. I don't see why it is harder to be with a thin woman than with one with an unfavorable personality, as so many people here seem to believe. 

Anyways, I'm living proof that it is not chaos or even a big deal in all cases. It depends on the individual. Good luck.


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## Fascinita (Feb 4, 2009)

Jazz Man said:


> Anyways, I'm living proof that it is not chaos or even a big deal in all cases. It depends on the individual. Good luck.



I can see how this might be. Reality is often so much simpler than we imagine it's going to be. I would think the crux might be in how the confession is made: "I kinda like chubby guys," and "I am terribly saddened and burdened by your body as it is now and wonder if you'd consider changing for me" are NOT the same thing.

Anyway, good post.


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## elle camino (Feb 5, 2009)

OP: tell her. 
if she's smart, she'll break up with you (hopefully kindly and maturely). this will leave you free to pursue women you're 100% attracted to, and her free to pursue men who are 100% attracted to her. 
equitable solution.

next.


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## exile in thighville (Feb 5, 2009)

just point blank though, OP, are you attracted to your girlfriend? _enough_ that is?

you should break up with her if you're positive of that. i think you sound more confused than most of this thread gives you credit for so just FYI, identity politics is bullshit; you can date whoever you want, if you're happy and she's happy - so happy that you know this wouldn't possibly end in cheating if you stayed. becoming single just for the sake of being a model FA on paper affects no one but yourself and even then in name only. just respect yourself and your partner and know when to stop.


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## Jazz Man (Feb 5, 2009)

elle camino said:


> OP: tell her.
> if she's smart, she'll break up with you (hopefully kindly and maturely). this will leave you free to pursue women you're 100% attracted to, and her free to pursue men who are 100% attracted to her.
> equitable solution.
> 
> next.



So I'm stupid for not getting a divorce? God forbid your partner have feelings for you because of who you are. 

Seriously, if something like this managed to divide two people, the relationship is obviously too fragile to last. Something else would have done it eventually, fat aside.


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## imfree (Feb 5, 2009)

Jazz Man said:


> So I'm stupid for not getting a divorce? God forbid your partner have feelings for you because of who you are.
> 
> Seriously, if something like this managed to divide two people, the relationship is obviously too fragile to last. Something else would have done it eventually, fat aside.



Yes, Jazz Man, that's right. The weight/physical attraction
issue was only "the straw that broke the camel's back" in
my marriage.


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## elle camino (Feb 5, 2009)

Jazz Man said:


> So I'm stupid for not getting a divorce?


there's a reason it says 'OP' before that colon and not 'Jazz Man'.
or anyone else.


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## olwen (Feb 5, 2009)

Jazz Man said:


> So I'm stupid for not getting a divorce? God forbid your partner have feelings for you because of who you are.
> 
> Seriously, if something like this managed to divide two people, the relationship is obviously too fragile to last. Something else would have done it eventually, fat aside.



Were you happy? Completely and totally happy before you married her? Are you happy now? Those are the only questions that matter.


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## SamanthaNY (Feb 6, 2009)

Jazz Man said:


> So I'm stupid for not getting a divorce? God forbid your partner have feelings for you because of who you are.
> 
> Seriously, if something like this managed to divide two people, the relationship is obviously too fragile to last. Something else would have done it eventually, fat aside.


There's a difference between a relationship and a marriage. It's wise to examine attraction issues _before _one gets married, and to share feelings about it with a partner. 

Frankly, if anyone is going into a marriage thinking that their spouse is only going to get "hotter" (or even stay as they are now) as time goes by? Good luck to you. You'll need to have a better foundation than that to balance your marriage on, or a lawyer on retainer. Better yet - don't get married, because you're not worthy of it.


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## Victim (Feb 6, 2009)

But she HAS gotten hotter.  It just keeps getting better...


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## SamanthaNY (Feb 6, 2009)

Victim said:


> But she HAS gotten hotter.  It just keeps getting better...



The statement of a smart man, and more importantly, happy husband. 

*applauds*


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## Drutten (Feb 6, 2009)

What about this: I love extremly fat, extremly skinny and extremly muscular women and I am frustrated that the ordinary woman is just average. So is my wife, although she has gained almost 30 pounds since we met, but she is way off the ideal woman - who can look in three completely different ways!


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## imfree (Feb 6, 2009)

Victim said:


> But she HAS gotten hotter.  It just keeps getting better...



Very well said, Victim. When I was a young man I thought 
women my own age would seem less attractive as we 
became older. I appreciate mature beauty, and the 
character that is developed through time and adversity, 
more as I become older.:bow:


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## SamanthaNY (Feb 6, 2009)

Drutten said:


> What about this: I love extremly fat, extremly skinny and extremly muscular women and I am frustrated that the ordinary woman is just average. So is my wife, although she has gained almost 30 pounds since we met, but she is way off the ideal woman - who can look in three completely different ways!



Clearly the women of the world just aren't trying hard enough to please you. 

Something should be done. 
Someone should be called. 
Someone should be held responsible.


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## mossystate (Feb 6, 2009)

Drutten...don't worry. Your wife will have that corneal transplant, and alllllllll this will be decided for you.


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## Santaclear (Feb 6, 2009)

..........


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Feb 6, 2009)

Santaclear said:


> ..........



I could not agree more.


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## Wild Zero (Feb 6, 2009)

Drutten said:


> What about this: I love extremly fat, extremly skinny and extremly muscular women and I am frustrated that the ordinary woman is just average. So is my wife, although she has gained almost 30 pounds since we met, but she is way off the ideal woman - who can look in three completely different ways!



A solution! Feed your wife a steady diet of HGH, Nandrolone and brownie sundaes, then after she's jacked and fat enough perform extreme liposuction on two of her four limbs.

I am a goddamn genius.


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## Fascinita (Feb 6, 2009)

Drutten said:


> What about this: I love extremly fat, extremly skinny and extremly muscular women and I am frustrated that the ordinary woman is just average. So is my wife, although she has gained almost 30 pounds since we met, but she is way off the ideal woman - who can look in three completely different ways!



I sympathize with this. I've always wanted a shapeshifter, as well, and never have been able to procure it. It's a particular brand of hell on earth when people as fine as us can't get all that we deserve and have to settle for average.  

30 lbs! Pfffffft. Eff that.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 6, 2009)

Drutten said:


> What about this: I love extremly fat, extremly skinny and extremly muscular women and I am frustrated that the ordinary woman is just average. So is my wife, although she has gained almost 30 pounds since we met, but she is way off the ideal woman - who can look in three completely different ways!




I love extremely big schlongs myself......three at one time would be a dream come true!!


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## Wild Zero (Feb 6, 2009)

Fascinita said:


> I sympathize with this. I've always wanted a shapeshifter, as well, and have never been able to procure it. It's a particular brand of hell on earth when people as fine as us can't get all that we deserve and have to settle for average.
> 
> 30 lbs! Pfffffft. Eff that.









Bitches don't know bout my hatred of solids


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## NoWayOut (Feb 6, 2009)

LalaCity said:


> Mossy said it best, but I'll just reiterate -- imagine your partner telling you, "My ideal partner is a physical type _other_ than you, but I still love you anyway..."
> 
> Maybe you could handle it, but me? I'd be crushed and my self-esteem would plummet.
> 
> She's the person you've chosen to love. Accept the entire package or move on.



Maybe this is a male perspective talking here, but if I was in that situation, my reaction would be, "Sweet, my personality overcame my physical defects!", and my self-esteem would be through the roof.

Now, as for the original poster, I'd tell her if the right moment comes. For instance, if she's complaining about her weight, you might be able to tell her. But I wouldn't tell her just to tell her.


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## olwen (Feb 6, 2009)

NoWayOut said:


> Maybe this is a male perspective talking here, but if I was in that situation, my reaction would be, "Sweet, my personality overcame my physical defects!", and my self-esteem would be through the roof.
> 
> Now, as for the original poster, I'd tell her if the right moment comes. For instance, if she's complaining about her weight, you might be able to tell her. But I wouldn't tell her just to tell her.



No dude, it's just you.


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## Jazz Man (Feb 6, 2009)

olwen said:


> No dude, it's just you.



No, it's not.


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## olwen (Feb 6, 2009)

Jazz Man said:


> No, it's not.



If you say so. Okay.


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## NoWayOut (Feb 7, 2009)

olwen said:


> No dude, it's just you.



And you would know this how?


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## mossystate (Feb 7, 2009)

I think she said okay. Your move.




all conversations on Dims should be like this one


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## olwen (Feb 7, 2009)

NoWayOut said:


> And you would know this how?



You're right, I don't know, which is why I said "If you say so," and it's not worth arguing over. Okay?


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## Victim (Feb 7, 2009)

Okay, I'm lost now. Who did what to whom, and for how many cookies?


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## olwen (Feb 7, 2009)

Victim said:


> Okay, I'm lost now. Who did what to whom, and for how many cookies?



I think there were two fatties, a priest, a rabbi, and 12 dozen cookies of varying flavors - none chocolate chip tho.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 7, 2009)

olwen said:


> I think there were two fatties, a priest, a rabbi, and 12 dozen cookies of varying flavors - none chocolate chip tho.



Great.....NOW my hormones are going full throttle again.....:doh:


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## olwen (Feb 7, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Great.....NOW my hormones are going full throttle again.....:doh:



Just don't tell the priest you've been bad. He just might have to punish you. 

Say four hail mary's, two our fathers and bend over. LOL


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## Roam-Antic (Feb 8, 2009)

Yes, I would. I did and maybe I'm really lucky but she accepted it immediately. I wouldn't get with someone who didin't accept all of me.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 8, 2009)

olwen said:


> Just don't tell the priest you've been bad. *He just might have to punish you.*
> 
> Say four hail mary's, two our fathers and *bend over.* LOL



You're really not helping me here Olwen.....thanks for nuttin'!


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## olwen (Feb 8, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> You're really not helping me here Olwen.....thanks for nuttin'!



Okay okay, would it help if the priest were a one eyed leper with vitaligo, scoliosis, and a tiny schlong? For someone with so many diseases he's quite devout. :happy:


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 8, 2009)

olwen said:


> Okay okay, would it help if the priest were a one eyed leper with vitaligo, scoliosis, and a tiny schlong? For someone with so many diseases he's quite devout. :happy:



Oh yeah, that tiny schlong is always a real mood killer......


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## olwen (Feb 8, 2009)

Whew, crisis averted. You can thank me later.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 8, 2009)

Thanks for nuttin' when it comes to tiny schlongs.......


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## stan_der_man (Feb 8, 2009)

olwen said:


> Okay okay, would it help if the priest were a one eyed leper with vitaligo, scoliosis, and a tiny schlong? For someone with so many diseases he's quite devout. :happy:





Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Oh yeah, that tiny schlong is always a real mood killer......



Especially if he were a leper with a tiny schlong... just imagine that thing falling off. Looking for it wouldn't an easy task not to mention a reeeeeeaaaaallll mood killer!


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 8, 2009)

fa_man_stan said:


> Especially if he were a leper with a tiny schlong... just imagine that thing falling off. Looking for it wouldn't an easy task not to mention a reeeeeeaaaaallll mood killer!




I wouldn't even bother looking, Stan....... 


*goes back to making grocery list*


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## olwen (Feb 8, 2009)

fa_man_stan said:


> Especially if he were a leper with a tiny schlong... just imagine that thing falling off. Looking for it wouldn't an easy task not to mention a reeeeeeaaaaallll mood killer!



Well once he does find it, he can always pickle it in someone's juices. Eeeewwww, I can't believe I just said that. LOL


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## Jazz Man (Feb 12, 2009)

Good to see this thread got back on the right track. Thanks all for the laugh.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 13, 2009)

Jazz Man said:


> Good to see this thread got back on the right track. Thanks all for the laugh.




Tain't nuttin funn-e about a leper's tiny pickled schlong.........


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## [email protected] (Sep 25, 2009)

Hi again everybody. Long time no see.

I apologize for being offensive and "a troll", it wasn't my intention. My point there was people shouldn't try to change other people.

You're all absolutely right, I'm living a lie, my life is boring and I should absolutely do something about it.

I probably won't, because, as you know, I'm a pathetic coward. But still I admire you all who don't quit your FAness over a couple of broken hearts like I did.


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## Admiral_Snackbar (Sep 25, 2009)

fa_man_stan said:


> Especially if he were a leper with a tiny schlong... just imagine that thing falling off. Looking for it wouldn't an easy task not to mention a reeeeeeaaaaallll mood killer!


Probably why we don't see many leper pornstars. For that matter, there aren't any in the Olympics either. I could see a shotput, javelin or long jump event going bad at least in the wrong hands. I'd give my right eye for the YouTube video, though.


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## joswitch (Sep 27, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Tain't nuttin funn-e about a leper's tiny pickled schlong.........



why is it I feel like you just broke into song? 

btw - I just read this whole thread...
Where is the support group for the compulsive readers?
I so need to sign up!


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Sep 27, 2009)

joswitch said:


> why is it I feel like you just broke into song?
> 
> btw - I just read this whole thread...
> Where is the support group for the compulsive readers?
> I so need to sign up!




not sure what you mean......I did attend a support group for compulsive eaters though......


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