# What do you do when thin girls (thin guy if straight FFA) hit on you?



## Cors (Jul 22, 2009)

For those of you who are _only attracted to fat people_, how do you typically react when a thin person of your preferred gender hits on you? 

Do you reject them any differently from fat people who are not your type?

Do you tell them that you are an FA when pressed and if so, how do they typically react? 

People usually don't take me seriously when I tell them I am not interested in men or thin women. If anything, it makes them more enthuasistic, which is rather irritating. Their amusement often turns into mocking and name-calling when they find out I am serious. These days I just quickly find an excuse to end the conversation. 

I am wondering if other FAs and FFAs share this experience.


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## Tad (Jul 22, 2009)

Well, a large serving of male obliviousness always went a long way for me, but that is probably not of much help to you, sorry. Then again, few guys get openly hit on as frequently as do many women, I think, so we probably have it doubly easier from that side.

I’ve seen it suggested that in general people down-grade those who are clearly trying to impress them, and up-grade those who seem to feel no need to impress them. Which may be part of why people who are sincerely and intently looking for a partner often seem to have more trouble finding one than someone who doesn’t care much? Anyway, if you come across all unimpressed, it might make you seem all the more desirable to some people. How you’d avoid that trap, I’m not sure, so still no help.

All I can think of which may help is to have some decent scripts ready, so that you have your some stock words ready when you need them, words which will hopefully do the job of cooling them off about as well as that job can be done. 

In your particular case, I don’t know if you could see yourself delivering something like this, but I’d think something along the lines of this might work: “You aren’t my type” “No, really, the fourth time someone mistakes you for a fat woman/man, come talk to me again.” (where woman/man is the opposite of their actual gender) That may not be strictly accurate, but should be blunt enough and extreme enough to make your point I’d think?


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## Melian (Jul 22, 2009)

When anyone hits on me, they get the same response regardless of appearance/gender: polite but unenthusiastic conversation for 1-2 minutes, in the hope that they will take the hint and go away. If that doesn't work, I manage to throw "I'm married," into the discussion (and I've been doing this for years, despite only being engaged/married for the last 14 mths or so).

But....sometimes that still doesn't work. At that point, I excuse myself and go to the bathroom, never to return


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## TraciJo67 (Jul 22, 2009)

Cors, I know that this isn't the kind of response that you're looking for (being that I'm not an FA or an FFA) but I was wondering why you explain it at all. When I receive unwanted attention, I never tell the person that I'm not attracted, far less why not. I just say that I'm married. And I've used that excuse for far longer than I've actually been wed. It's the best possible line, well suited to getting as far as possible from the awkwardness of the moment. I have always worried that the truth -- ranging from "you aren't my physical type" to "dude ... you're my homeless, unemployed, unwashed client" would be very unkind. Probably at times too presumptuous of me but I still think the best of several bad options.


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## ESPN Cutie (Jul 22, 2009)

Melian said:


> ... If that doesn't work, I manage to throw "I'm married," into the discussion (and I've been doing this for years, despite only being engaged/married for the last 14 mths or so)



*Even though I'm single, I've been using the "I'm married" line since college and I tend to wear a ring on my ring finger most of the time. Only problem I have had with that is that I look really young for my age, so guys will say something like, "Wow, you must have got married in high school." I then laugh, say "yes" and I don't offer any more info. If the guy is still trying to talk to me, then I just excuse myself.

Also, I've noticed that some guys tend to get more interested once I say I'm married; some men seem to prefer to date married women.*


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## italianmike21 (Jul 22, 2009)

I have to agree with melian in that regardless if the woman who hits on me is thin or fat I'm going shes going to get the same reaction from me. I'll engage in conversation for a couple of minutes but clearly from the tone of my voice indicate I'm not interested and I will politely tell her that I'm already in a relationship, smile and walk away.


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## rollhandler (Jul 22, 2009)

Never actually had it happen, that I am aware of. I guess I am so open about my preferences and talk openly and often about my partner when I am in a relationship that nobody comes on to me. 
Either that or I am totally clueless and just never realized it when it happened. *shrug*
Rollhandler


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## Amarillowave (Jul 22, 2009)

It's happened to me, although I'm not sure I'd refer to it as being "hit on." I've had women approach me in a flirtatious way, who are clearly looking to strike up a conversation. I've been married for a long time, and have no trouble stating that at the outset of any encounter with a women.

It's also true that being married doesn't stop everyone. Some women(and men) seem to get turned on somehow by flirting with a married person.

I don't think I'd be rude enough to tell a thin women that I only like large women any more than I'd tell a redhead that i only date blonds. Just seems like common courtesy to say you are married, or just gently ease out of the conversation. Most people will get the hint.


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## CurvaceousBBWLover (Jul 22, 2009)

I don't have women hitting on me.


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## Victim (Jul 23, 2009)

Even if you can't be together, being outright rejected hurts. I find no reason not to at least give them a smile and some conversation. Since I actually AM married (20th is on Aug 19th, woohoo!) it isn't a problem letting them know. When they see how much I am committed, even the hardcore homewreckers go away (I've had to fend off an attack by one of these, it was still relatively easy)


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## Cors (Jul 23, 2009)

TraciJo67 said:


> Cors, I know that this isn't the kind of response that you're looking for (being that I'm not an FA or an FFA) but I was wondering why you explain it at all. When I receive unwanted attention, I never tell the person that I'm not attracted, far less why not. I just say that I'm married. And I've used that excuse for far longer than I've actually been wed. It's the best possible line, well suited to getting as far as possible from the awkwardness of the moment. I have always worried that the truth -- ranging from "you aren't my physical type" to "dude ... you're my homeless, unemployed, unwashed client" would be very unkind. Probably at times too presumptuous of me but I still think the best of several bad options.



I'm 21 and look younger to many so "married" doesn't work well and "attached" isn't always taken seriously but yeah, strangers aren't much of a problem. I should have clarified that this is more of a problem with acquaintances or friends of friends who know that you are single, or when they have heard about your preference. 

I don't think that telling a very nice person that they are not of your preferred gender is a bad thing, but I suspect it works better for gay men. The rejected person ideally goes away thinking "awww too bad" instead of "I wonder if it is something with me". 

I will never dream of telling someone, especially a stranger that they are too anything (except too young or too far away) for my liking. My issue is that most acquaintances already have a rough idea of what I like but don't take it seriously (OMG how can anyone like FAT people right ) or try their luck anyway, and freak out when they find out I am serious.


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## OneHauteMama (Jul 23, 2009)

Depends on the person. I might politely tell them I'm not interested in dating (which isn't really true...I'm just not interested in dating THEM lol)...or if they ask for my number, I instead ask them to give me thiers. That's worked a few times. One guy said "You're not gonna call me...are you?" and I said "I honestly don't know" (I wasn't sure at the time). He honestly looked REALLY disappointed and I felt guilty. I always do...but I spent too long being with someone who wasn't what I really wanted partly because I didn't think I could get any better. So I'm not going to settle now, you know? I'm polite and I try not to hurt feelings, but I know in the end, someone's day will be ruined.


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## wrench13 (Jul 23, 2009)

First off, it's rare I get hit on by thin women, since I am not paying much attention to them and am not giving off the signals and body language that would make them think I was interested. 

But when it happens, I don't say I am not interested because you are thin..I just don't return the signals.. we all know them: lingering glances, looking into the persons eyes _con significa_, moving slightly within the persons personal space; a light touch on the persons body ( arm, shouler, waist etc) or a rising of enthusiasim in your voice. Pointing out WHY your not that interested is just rude and shows a lack of empathy, because we have all been in the other boat. No one wants to hear " Sorry, come back after you've eaten a few gallons of ice cream" any more then one wants to be told "Ew, red hair and freckles!" or " Go away shorty". 

And if lack of interest doesn't work, Pointing out a fat girl and saying something like " Wow, she's the hottest girl here - do you know her name" works great!


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## Amandy (Jul 24, 2009)

It's always been easy enough to say I have a boyfriend, but for the guy at a club who wont let up, "because I can't stand people who won't take 'no' for answer."

But there's always the ol' "its not you, its me" when I needed to let them down easy.


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## escapist (Jul 24, 2009)

Amandy said:


> It's always been easy enough to say I have a boyfriend, but for the guy at a club who wont let up, "because I can't stand people who won't take 'no' for answer."
> 
> But there's always the ol' "its not you, its me" when I needed to let them down easy.



Hahahahh every guy who asks me about pickup I tell them to ignore the words and read the body language....yeah that scares a lot of guys cause they really are not used to it. Most women will tell you with body language if you are annoying them or if they want you closer or to stay. Guys who actually have skill will test you by "body rocking or making as though to leave the conversation to see if you pull him back in." From there he has the choice to just leave or to try to create more interest and then try again. IF you know what your doing there is no need to ever make anybody so uncomfortable as to have to say "Um, I have a boyfriend.". If you hear it you can always come back with a playful tease: "Oh my god, what kind of hussy do you think I am!".

Why am I saying all this? well girls so you can spot the guys with skill. Guys so you can learn some so they stop throwing up that wall of "I have a boyfriend." If they want you watch them they will let you know.


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## joswitch (Jul 25, 2009)

Cors said:


> For those of you who are _only attracted to fat people_, how do you typically react when a thin person of your preferred gender hits on you?
> 
> Do you reject them any differently from fat people who are not your type?
> 
> ...



How and what I say to a thin girl who hits on me, depends on how rude (or nice) she is being... 

In pubs and clubs I've been poked, grabbed, hauled across a room, pinned against a bar, and have been shamelessly and lengthily groped (on one occasion while I was trying to have a conversation with another girl(BBW)!)... 
No, really. 
What? you think men have a monopoly on being awful with the come-ons!??? OK I bet women get this sh*t more often.. but... I get it sometimes...
I'm not gonna weep none mind... 

Generally I say: "Sorry, you're not my type." 

and if she's *either*: 
Really up herself 
(e.g. once, one girl came up and grabbed me and said - "you'll do!" WTF???
She would NOT take "NO", not even multiple "NO"s for an answer. 
After she *kinda* forced herself on me for a bit... I didn't resist all that much, it's true... I'm a bit of a slut- so sue me!  Eventually I just RAN AWAY. I know. It's a pitiful tale.:blush
*or*:
If I think if she was fat (or she has cute fat friends) then she'd be hott, I generally say: "I'm a guy that loves fat chicks. Sorry, you're too thin for me."

Either to take her down a bit from being SO rude!
Or in case -
1) she goes and tells her cute fat friend(s).
2) she's secretly a wannabe feedee (long odds I know)
3) she's only dieting to get a guy and hates it and would like to stop.
4) if none of the above, then I'm probably thinking of making a move on a cute fat girl in the place and I don't want said cute fat girl to think I am "taken" by random thin girl.

I've been laughed at and had some expressions of hostility for this.
But thems the breaks.
Re. "hurting" people who hit on you in clubs etc.
I've been shot down waaaaaay worse than that. Many times.
I don't think saying "Sorry, you're not my type / you're too thin for me" is terribly rude. Just honest and not leading anyone on.


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## benzdiesel (Jul 29, 2009)

It really just doesn't happen. As a fat guy who also happens to be interested in unskinny girls, I'm not exactly having to fend off thin girls with a mosquito zapper. 

As a practical matter... the personality matters more to me so whether I accepted/rejected them or not would depend on how we actually got along, fit together, rather than just the size thing. I definitely notice fatter girls first across a crowded room, and would go out of my way to speak to them over a smaller one _if all other things were equal_, but I wouldn't make a rejection (or acceptance) just based on what she looked like.


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## bigmac (Jul 29, 2009)

It's only happened twice -- both times resulted in one night stands -- so I guess that's one way to deal with it.

The first time was when I was 19. I was at a bar in Grande Prairie Alberta drinking with my fellow steelworkers when a short muscular girl sat down at our table and started to talk to me. I don't remember much of our conversation but I ended up at her place that night. The next time was when a I was 21. I was at the bar across the street from my apartment in Edmonton and short thin lady in her early 30s came up to me and asked how old I was. She was a little disappointed I was so young but she took me back to her place anyway. While I didn't have a bad time either night it was very clear that something was missing -- just couldn't get that excited (although the muscular girl was kind of cool).

Guess I can say been there done that with regards to thin girls. Also, what was I thinking when I moved to this country -- I got lots more play back home -- at least until I met my wife (but she's not totally American either).


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## mediaboy (Jul 30, 2009)

Buy them desert.


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## benzdiesel (Jul 30, 2009)

I can't afford a whole desert. And if I could I'd buy her something less arid and miserable. 

Yeah I know. Making fun of typos is evil. But when they can be misread in an amusing way, I firmly believe it should be excepted.


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## mediaboy (Jul 30, 2009)

If you want to read osemetingh asumngi tehn yuo should erad tihs


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## joh (Jul 31, 2009)

Me? Hit on?! Good joke ;-)


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## KnottyOne (Jul 31, 2009)

Fat or skinny, I have a very similar flow chart when someone hits in me

If Cute
A. Flirt right back
B. Buy Drink, or get one if at party
C. Make Physical Contact
D. Make move

If Not Cute
A. Be polite, but make it abundantly clear I have no interest
B. If step A does not work, find closest friend and introduce
C. Walk away, enjoy rest of wherever I'm at


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## rollhandler (Jul 31, 2009)

KnottyOne said:


> Fat or skinny, I have a very similar flow chart when someone hits in me
> 
> If Cute
> A. Flirt right back
> ...



Sounds like a functional and not impolite system.
Rollhandler


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## Littleghost (Jul 31, 2009)

Tad said:


> Well, a large serving of male obliviousness always went a long way for me, but that is probably not of much help to you, sorry. Then again, few guys get openly hit on as frequently as do many women, I think, so we probably have it doubly easier from that side.



Yep. I'm quite good at acting oblivious on the rare occasion that it happens; and probably even better when I'm not acting. 

The last time it happened though, it was two of them who were just trying to get me to do a complicated job for them for free. I blankly said there'd be an additional assembly fee (which was true) and then started to calculate it. When they said it would be too much, I pointed them over to the self-service area they could use.


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## The Orange Mage (Jul 31, 2009)

CurvaceousBBWLover said:


> I don't have women hitting on me.


This post is my post as well.


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## Mini (Aug 1, 2009)

I just act like me. It takes a special brand of lady to tolerate me longer than 30 seconds anyway.

Question: If a man makes force field noises to remind himself not to touch girls on the first date, is that sexy or weird? I vote sexy.


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## furious styles (Aug 2, 2009)

try to be nice and end up making a slightly awkward friend.


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## Noir (Aug 2, 2009)

I either act oblivious to the occasion or if they take it to the next level (aka wont leave me alone or physical touching) I politely say that im just not into thinner girls and point to the largest girl in the room and say "that is what im attracted to"


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## TraciJo67 (Aug 3, 2009)

Cors said:


> My issue is that most acquaintances already have a rough idea of what I like but don't take it seriously (OMG how can anyone like FAT people right ) or try their luck anyway, and freak out when they find out I am serious.



Then the verbal equivalent of a sledgehammer aimed directly at a thick scalp is not a bad thing, Cors. If they aren't going to respect you ... why respect them? I think any response you offer -- politely dismissive or outright rude or any variation therein -- is the correct one, in this case. In other words, whatever makes you feel better about the situation.


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## msmorga1 (Aug 3, 2009)

Everyone deserves at least a good conversation, you never know what you will find when you talk to someone.


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## The Fez (Aug 3, 2009)

I act as I would if I wanted to get with them; I usually sabotage things when I try


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## LoveBHMS (Aug 3, 2009)

Cors said:


> For those of you who are _only attracted to fat people_, how do you typically react when a thin person of your preferred gender hits on you?
> 
> Do you reject them any differently from fat people who are not your type?
> 
> ...



As far as i'm concerned, disinterest is disinterest. It can be age, gender, size, race, or just lack of chemistry...doesn't matter.

If somebody hits on you and you're not interested, I think you should just excuse yourself. I would never think an explanation would be in order.


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## UMBROBOYUM (Aug 5, 2009)

I don't have anyone hitting on me and never have as far as i could tell. How would i deal with that situation though? If i was interested with her, i'd show some interest in what she had to say. If not i'd just tell at the onset before anything came about that i was'nt interested. I may sound heartless and cold, but really I'd rather not let anything linger on. Now the thing is I'm attracted to woman of all sizes so long as I find them interesting. What do i find interesting is another thread /story for another day. Hope that helps!


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## bmann0413 (Aug 9, 2009)

Doesn't matter to me, if a thin girl flirts with me, I'll flirt back. That's the old Lloyd Lee charm. lol

Of course, you DID say "ONLY ATTRACTED TO OVERWEIGHT WOMEN," and I'm one of the FAs that aren't really only attracted. I just prefer overweight women more.


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