# Create-a-Rumor



## Buffie (Nov 28, 2005)

The best way to handle gossip? Beat the busy-bodies at their own game.

Start your own rumor about yourself HERE!!!

There are no rules other than it must be outrageous, scandalous and 90% false. 

I would go first, but...uhhh... I... I... uhm... ohkay, so I don't have a good excuse other than I'm not very creative. But I'll come up with something, just give me a minute.


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## Buffie (Nov 28, 2005)

Someone told me Buffie has back-fat implants and elbow-dimple injections! I know it's true cuz I know someone who knows someone who has a cousin who knew a girl who worked next door to the plastic surgeon's office and they saw her leaving after the procedure! All TRUE!


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## fatlane (Nov 28, 2005)

Nu-uh!

FOR REALS!

Oh, then it's true.

I saw Goody AnnMarie with the Debbull!!!


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## old_dogsoldier (Nov 28, 2005)

Buffie said:


> Someone told me Buffie has back-fat implants and elbow-dimple injections!



Why does the thought of Buffie getting back-fat implants turn me on? Oh yeah, I remember. I'm one 'a them fat-lovin' pervs. (Does this qualify as a rumor even if it's true?)


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## Buffie (Nov 28, 2005)

"They" never lie, FatZone! AnnMarie... with WHO? You don't say! And where's your rumor? Hee hee!!

Sure, old dogsoldier, that counts as a rumor because I heard that not only are you a fat-lovin perv, you sport a mullet, drive a Le Car and have the unique ability to bite your own hiney. Impressive!


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## fatlane (Nov 28, 2005)

I heard you were just a poser about the whole FA thing. You're really a cop trying to check out all the drug deals going down online. And you thought you could get donuts here is the only reason you showed up.

IT IS THE TRUTH. I AM NOT DARK-SIDED. I WILL TELL THE TRUTH. HONEST.


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## Buffie (Nov 28, 2005)

Oh yeah? Well someone told me that FatLuv is a BIG New Kids on the Block fan who still has his Donnie posters hanging up in his basement, right next to his Commodore 64 and his neon gumball machine.


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## fatlane (Nov 28, 2005)

Am not infinity.

I heard those aren't breast implants, you just got disability from a helium factory after a freak accident.

Or is this now slowly becoming a "Your momma..." thread?


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## old_dogsoldier (Nov 28, 2005)

Buffie said:


> Sure, old dogsoldier, that counts as a rumor because I heard that not only are you a fat-lovin perv, you sport a mullet, drive a Le Car and have the unique ability to bite your own hiney. Impressive!



Damn, I like that rumor. It suggests that (a) I have enough hair to grow a mullet, (b) I know what a Le Car is, and (c) I'm flexible enough to reach my own hiney (although there have been rumors that my head is housed in an orifice in that vicinity).

As for you, fatlane, I'm not admitting nuthin', but where ARE the damn donuts?


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## fatlane (Nov 28, 2005)

I think the cyber-feedees got them first. Or the cyber-foodees. Not really sure, actually...


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## Wayne_Zitkus (Nov 28, 2005)

Buffie said:


> "They" never lie, FatZone! AnnMarie... with WHO? You don't say! And where's your rumor? Hee hee!!
> 
> Sure, old dogsoldier, that counts as a rumor because I heard that not only are you a fat-lovin perv, you sport a mullet, drive a Le Car and have the unique ability to bite your own hiney. Impressive!


Actually, anyone with a mullet wouldn't be caught DEAD driving a Le Car - they'd drive an old Camaro or Trans Am with the fenders rusting off.

Or a beat-up El Camino.


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## fatlane (Nov 28, 2005)

BTW, Wayne, is it true you've recently had an affair with Ben Affleck?


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## Wayne_Zitkus (Nov 28, 2005)

Sandie and I are really the same person. The pictures of me are only ones that came with Sandie's new wallet.

Actually, we're a split personality.
We are not.
We are, too.
Are not!
Are, too!!  

We (the collective "we", because there ARE more than two of us here) also started our own religion - The Church of the Frisbee On The Roof. We believe that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and waits there until our god comes along and knocks it down with a rake or a broom. Rake means you go to Heaven - broom means you go to Hell. 

We're Frisbeterians.


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## Wayne_Zitkus (Nov 28, 2005)

fatlane said:


> BTW, Wayne, is it true you've recently had an affair with Ben Affleck?


No - that was Sandie. I've been stalking Kato Kaein.


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## fatlane (Nov 28, 2005)

Wow. Hard to top that rumor. Seeing how it's on the roof and all.

So I'll just attack someone who isn't here.

I heard tell that Karoline has taken up housekeeping with seven dwarves, after their last female roommate moved out.


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## AnnMarie (Nov 28, 2005)

fatlane said:


> Nu-uh!
> 
> FOR REALS!
> 
> ...



Am I Goody AnnMarie?? 

Why does everyone do that to me, I'm not that goody!


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## fatlane (Nov 28, 2005)

AnnMarie said:


> Am I Goody AnnMarie??
> 
> Why does everyone do that to me, I'm not that goody!



You live in Massachusetts, right? 

WITCH.

Burn her! Burn her!

(Eats more bread with ergot mold...)


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## AnnMarie (Nov 29, 2005)

fatlane said:


> You live in Massachusetts, right?
> 
> WITCH.
> 
> ...



That's B-i-t-c-h. W=B

I don't know what you do with us.


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## Jes (Nov 29, 2005)

Uhm, I heard that sometimes, Totmacher wears my panties.

And I know that's true, because I'm the one who handed them to him!

(i know we're supposed to tell rumors about ourselves but there's nothing disturbing that could be said about me that isn't true)


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## exile in thighville (Nov 29, 2005)

dan ex machina died in a freak accident. during an expensive squashing session from goddess patty that dan had arranged one evening, curvy dreamer, living one floor up gained ten pounds on the spot while looking depressed, sending her crashing through the floor and onto patty's scooter, which promptly started itself and rammed right into dan, crashed through the wall, and sent him flying like a cannonball through a wall in the adjacent building, where a video was being made of kellie kay force-feeding ivy. dan fell onto the spoon in kellie's hand, and before he could struggle to his feet or anyone knew what was happening, the spoon was thrust into ivy's mouth and she had ate dan. true story, ask ivy.


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## bigcutiekaroline (Nov 29, 2005)

fatlane said:


> Wow. Hard to top that rumor. Seeing how it's on the roof and all.
> 
> So I'll just attack someone who isn't here.
> 
> I heard tell that Karoline has taken up housekeeping with seven dwarves, after their last female roommate moved out.


come on get it right...it was the three bears not the seven dwarfs.........and I only moved in because they were all so damn fussy and whiny and the doctor said it would be for my drug rehabilitation to have to deal with all their crap day in and day out! Well that and I could run around wearing a bear skin rug and no one would care...


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## EtobicokeFA (Nov 29, 2005)

AnnMarie said:


> That's B-i-t-c-h. W=B
> 
> I don't know what you do with us.



Here is a rumour. The word witch is close to the word bitch, so the husbands, back then, have something to do with umm... misbehaving wives!  

Sorry Ann!


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## old_dogsoldier (Nov 29, 2005)

I know this one is true, because the radio people told it to me when my mullet blew back while I was driving in my rusted-out Ford Ranchero.

Buffie, Fatlane, and Kelligrl are triplet love children of Shelly Winters and a rogue blue alien from Ursa Minor. When the alien decided to go home, Buffie and Fatlane stayed, but Kelligrl opted to go with him.

Explains a lot, don't it?


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## old_dogsoldier (Nov 29, 2005)

Wayne_Zitkus said:


> We (the collective "we", because there ARE more than two of us here) also started our own religion - The Church of the Frisbee On The Roof. We believe that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and waits there until our god comes along and knocks it down with a rake or a broom. Rake means you go to Heaven - broom means you go to Hell.
> 
> We're Frisbeterians.



The simple yet glorious story of the Immaculate Frisbee has awakened a spiritual epiphany within me. The radio people like it, too. Can we be Frisbetarians?


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## fatlane (Nov 29, 2005)

bigcutiekaroline said:


> come on get it right...it was the three bears not the seven dwarfs.........and I only moved in because they were all so damn fussy and whiny and the doctor said it would be for my drug rehabilitation to have to deal with all their crap day in and day out! Well that and I could run around wearing a bear skin rug and no one would care...



That's not what _I_ heard. You want to tell everyone why you don't wear read riding hoods any more, or shall I? Hmmm?


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## fatlane (Nov 29, 2005)

old_dogsoldier said:


> I know this one is true, because the radio people told it to me when my mullet blew back while I was driving in my rusted-out Ford Ranchero.
> 
> Buffie, Fatlane, and Kelligrl are triplet love children of Shelly Winters and a rogue blue alien from Ursa Minor. When the alien decided to go home, Buffie and Fatlane stayed, but Kelligrl opted to go with him.
> 
> Explains a lot, don't it?



WHO HAVE YOU BEEN TALKING TO?


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Nov 29, 2005)

old_dogsoldier said:


> The simple yet glorious story of the Immaculate Frisbee has awakened a spiritual epiphany within me. The radio people like it, too. Can we be Frisbetarians?




We would be honored to have you join our collective ODS. But first you must prepare a statement of belief for us. 

What does the Frisbee mean to you??

*Sandie Zitkus*
_Grand High Exaulted Princess of the Frisbee.
Membership Chairperson
All Around Good Egg_

All Hail The MIGHTY Frisbee! ON YOUR KNEES SUBJECTS!!


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## old_dogsoldier (Nov 29, 2005)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> We would be honored to have you join our collective ODS. But first you must prepare a statement of belief for us.
> 
> What does the Frisbee mean to you??
> 
> ...



In a word, salvation. I know that if only I believe unto the Frisbee, I will enter the divine Frisbee Box in the sky when I die, no matter what misbegotten dumb-ass deeds I may have committed here on earth. My wife, dog, cats, and bird will also enter, as will the ever-present radio people.

I will worship no other plastic object, for I know that our Frisbee is a jealous Frisbee. And I will dwell in the box with the Frisbee forever. Hallelujah.


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## old_dogsoldier (Nov 29, 2005)

fatlane said:


> WHO HAVE YOU BEEN TALKING TO?



I told you, the radio people. You know - those mysterious voices in the airwaves that tell us things that no one else knows, and direct us to do things we otherwise wouldn't dream of doing, and editorialize on our behavior and our lives in general, and occasionally sing old-time rock 'n roll in four-part harmony.


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## Tragdor (Nov 29, 2005)

In the 1950's Hoover created secreat FBI orgnization called the Sexual Standards Enforment Agency or SSEA for short. This organization was founded to keep an eye on 'devient sexuallity' to prevent it from finding an ally in communism and to hide the fact that Hoover was a cross dresser. Every fethish board in the United States has a SSEA agent to this day. The name of the agent in this fourm is Fatlane


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## bigcutiekaroline (Nov 29, 2005)

fatlane said:


> That's not what _I_ heard. You want to tell everyone why you don't wear read riding hoods any more, or shall I? Hmmm?


YOU were NEVER supposed to mention that EVER.....now everyone knows......how can I hold my head up when everyone knows that I killed grandmother and now she can't make anymore red riding hoods for me.....next the police wiil be knocking at my door....I gotta hide....someone help me!!!!!


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## pinuptami (Nov 29, 2005)

Man, you know that Tami Paige...she's such a womanizer! Rumor has it she's cheating on Ivy with Kellie and Buffie! And that poor boyfriend of hers...what must he be thinking?


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## pinuptami (Nov 29, 2005)

dan ex machina said:


> dan ex machina died in a freak accident. during an expensive squashing session from goddess patty that dan had arranged one evening, curvy dreamer, living one floor up gained ten pounds on the spot while looking depressed, sending her crashing through the floor and onto patty's scooter, which promptly started itself and rammed right into dan, crashed through the wall, and sent him flying like a cannonball through a wall in the adjacent building, where a video was being made of kellie kay force-feeding ivy. dan fell onto the spoon in kellie's hand, and before he could struggle to his feet or anyone knew what was happening, the spoon was thrust into ivy's mouth and she had ate dan. true story, ask ivy.



You forgot that I was there and got it all on videotape, lol


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## fatlane (Nov 29, 2005)

I can neither confirm nor deny my affiliations with any law enforcement or espionage agency.

Neener neener neener.

I heard Australian Lord is a shill for the NSA and is "positioned" to act as their apologist should anyone mention HAARP...


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## bigcutiekaroline (Nov 29, 2005)

pinuptami said:


> You forgot that I was there and got it all on videotape, lol


While eating cheesecake....which she stole from Karoline.......


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## FEast (Nov 29, 2005)

AnnMarie said:


> That's B-i-t-c-h. W=B
> 
> I don't know what you do with us.


So that means B=W, right? If so, "Wurn her! Wurn her!" [Wurn?]


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## Jes (Nov 29, 2005)

pinuptami said:


> Man, you know that Tami Paige...she's such a womanizer! Rumor has it she's cheating on Ivy with Kellie and Buffie! And that poor boyfriend of hers...what must he be thinking?



girl on girl on girl on girl action? what he must be thinking is:
I AM LIVING THE DREAM. LIVING.THE.DREAM!


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## fatlane (Nov 29, 2005)

Shame, shame!

But far be it from me to participate in any shouting and pointing.


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## FEast (Nov 29, 2005)

old_dogsoldier said:


> Buffie, Fatlane, and Kelligrl are triplet love children of Shelly Winters and a rogue blue alien from Ursa Minor. When the alien decided to go home, Buffie and Fatlane stayed, but Kelligrl opted to go with him.


_Finally_, somebody's laid the Kelligrl mystery to rest. Think the Others will finally let the topic rest? [Pssst, don't tell anybody, but I heard that what _really_ happened to Kelligrl was...]


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## FEast (Nov 29, 2005)

dan ex machina said:


> dan ex machina died in a freak accident.


Dan dead? That means you're an impostor! [Hmmm, wonder what skeletons reside in this fake's closet?]


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## fatlane (Nov 29, 2005)

FEast said:


> _Finally_, somebody's laid the Kelligrl mystery to rest. Think the Others will finally let the topic rest? [Pssst, don't tell anybody, but I heard that what _really_ happened to Kelligrl was...]



She's living with Elvis and planning a peanut butter 'n' nanner comeback.


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## Jay West Coast (Nov 29, 2005)

old_dogsoldier said:


> When the alien decided to go home, Buffie and Fatlane stayed, but Kelligrl opted to go with him.




But, wait, that can't be true 'cuz I heard that *Jay West Coast is really Kelligrl *posing as a 23 year old architect, so that she can monitor the rumors floating around about her. She see's herself as an "architect" of the greatest FA rumor-mill of all time, hence the correlation.

And the *sickest* part is that she posts all these photos of some young FA she coaxed into taking pictures a couple months ago, using the wealth she stole from Bulge subscirbers. And in a green towel, no less! That kid _couldn't _be over 18! Could he?!

I think there should be some litigation in order. This is _worse_ than Michael Jackson. *Sickos. They make me sick*.


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## Jes (Nov 29, 2005)

Jay West Coast said:


> That kid _couldn't _be over 18! Could he?!
> 
> .



Could he? *gulp* If he's not, I don't know how I'm going to explain these photos on my HD...


I heard a new rumor about Jes. Those things she calls boobs? It's really just a bag of cats, headin' for the river!



(translation: I tried taking a shot of myself today with my camera. YIKES. Delete! Delete!)


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## fatlane (Nov 29, 2005)

You have claws on your boobs? Whoa. Wait until I tell the boys...


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## Jes (Nov 29, 2005)

fatlane said:


> You have claws on your boobs? Whoa. Wait until I tell the boys...




Boobata dentata... No. Seriously, I shot a picture and then, when I looked at it, you couldn't even tell what it was a photo of. At all! I'm not exaggerating. It was just this mass of undulating, undifferentiated, and tangibly frightened flesh! 

I am a work in progress, clearly. Baby steps. But no need to warn anyone--no one's seen them in years, I doubt that'll change. In fact, last month, I secretly switched my breasts with Folger's crystals, and no one could tell the difference!

oh dear. Now you think me lacking in self esteem again, eh? More's the pity.


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## coyote wild (Nov 29, 2005)

pssst.

Don't tell anyone, but I trim the hedges at Wayne Manor and uhh...well...Bruce Wayne is Batman.

Believe it or not, it's true.


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## fatlane (Nov 29, 2005)

Turnabout is fair play, Jes... speaking of turnabouts, I hear you used to be a Judas Priest groupie. Shall I tell them about the orangutan at the Trump Plaza and your whip collection, or will you elaborate on that story?


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Nov 30, 2005)

old_dogsoldier said:


> In a word, salvation. I know that if only I believe unto the Frisbee, I will enter the divine Frisbee Box in the sky when I die, no matter what misbegotten dumb-ass deeds I may have committed here on earth. My wife, dog, cats, and bird will also enter, as will the ever-present radio people.
> 
> I will worship no other plastic object, for I know that our Frisbee is a jealous Frisbee. And I will dwell in the box with the Frisbee forever. Hallelujah.




Welcome brother!

Now do the Frisbee Dance in celebratiom. Spin round and round as fast as you can until you fall down then flop around and come to an abrupt stop.

Next week we will teach you the secret hand shake.:shocked:


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Nov 30, 2005)

fatlane said:


> Turnabout is fair play, Jes... speaking of turnabouts, I hear you used to be a Judas Priest groupie. Shall I tell them about the orangutan at the Trump Plaza and your whip collection, or will you elaborate on that story?




Did someone say whip?????????:shocked:


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## tankgirl (Nov 30, 2005)

Jes said:


> Uhm, I heard that sometimes, Totmacher wears my panties.
> 
> And I know that's true, because I'm the one who handed them to him!
> 
> (i know we're supposed to tell rumors about ourselves but there's nothing disturbing that could be said about me that isn't true)


 

*stares at Tot*
You BEAST! You never told me! [yes folks, this is *almost* as bad as it sounds *snickers evilly, and is prolly gonna pay for that later*]

In other news, I'm a ballbreaking lesbian, a two-bit whore, an evil cyborg, married and 24 with three kids, or 14 with a bad attitude, in my 70s and butt ugly with ass breath, 22 and butt ugly with two kids and ass breath, or an eight year old with good spelling (depending on who you ask, when you ask, what direction they're facing, what direction YOU'RE facing, what direction the printer is pointed[paper feeds out which way?] where the nearest light in the room is.....).... another round? I'm really a dude who had the operation, I'm just a dude, I'm a pixie looking girl who's posing as a BBW, an SSBBW who's posing as someone a LOT smaller, I'm a 12 year old wannabe, OR maybe I'm SIAMESE TWINS, one of whom is anorexic and really snobbish, and I keep ruining her dates because MY dates are COOLER thn HERS!!! 
OR-- HERE's a good one!!! 
I'm an evil feeder who's been stalking the boards for years and sucking in BHMs as fast as I can get my claws into them, OR maybe I'm the evil feeder who's been sucking up all the BBWs as fast as I can get my talons into them (read the roll-call board?)..... *thinks*
Yeah, that's most of my rumors.
Oh. And Ice Bitch. But that's more a nickname, ne?
*stares at a few people, then wanders off, traffic cone proudly on her head*


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## Totmacher (Nov 30, 2005)

As I understand it:

I'm 14.
I'm anybody you ever hated's alter ego. 
I'm actually a personal trainer who scours the boards for new projects.
You already know about the cross dressing....


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## Obesus (Nov 30, 2005)

...aka Hustler magazine, that I run a WEIRD SEX CULT out of my front room, involving pasta, bondage and Freemasonry. Hey, wait just a darn tootin' minute...I actually DO run a weird sex cult outta' my front room, yada yada...and it actually WAS in Hustler...this is all too weird and disorienting....but as I understand it , Fatlane is actually an AI program in the basement of the MIT Computer Science lab, being run by a youth! Oh...that one is true too....I am just pathetic at this....absolutely PATHETIC...I give up! 
PS...I am accepting applications for the position of High Priestess...must have good appetite!:eat1: No pay, but all the pasta you can eat and the cuffs are fur lined! Wa-hoooo!:bow:


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## fatlane (Nov 30, 2005)

I am not being run by youth. And that computer's set up to MONITOR me, not operate me.

And Obesus, speaking of mind control, you want to tell everyone about your membership in Jack Parson's magick circle, or shall I? 

Be sure to remember how it all pertains to Scientology...


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## Jes (Nov 30, 2005)

tankgirl said:


> *stares at Tot*
> You BEAST! You never told me! [yes folks, this is *almost* as bad as it sounds *snickers evilly, and is prolly gonna pay for that later*]
> 
> *




oooh, now I'm jealous! I may have to call the whole thing off, now!


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## old_dogsoldier (Nov 30, 2005)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Welcome brother!
> 
> Now do the Frisbee Dance in celebratiom. Spin round and round as fast as you can until you fall down then flop around and come to an abrupt stop.
> 
> Next week we will teach you the secret hand shake.:shocked:



Okay, did that. Then I threw up. Hope that doesn't have a negative effect on my salvation. It definitely changed the color of the rug.

I hope the handshake is a little easier.


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## tankgirl (Nov 30, 2005)

Jes said:


> oooh, now I'm jealous! I may have to call the whole thing off, now!


 
You're jealous? 
He said *I* was the ONLY one! 
*cries*


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Nov 30, 2005)

old_dogsoldier said:


> Okay, did that. Then I threw up. Hope that doesn't have a negative effect on my salvation. It definitely changed the color of the rug.
> 
> I hope the handshake is a little easier.



All Praise the Frisbee. The physical purge was a symbolic purge of evil from your system!!!!!

The handshake - well I have one question. How limber are you???????


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## Jes (Nov 30, 2005)

tankgirl said:


> You're jealous?
> He said *I* was the ONLY one!
> *cries*




Oh. This isn't going to end well. For him.

Tank, you uh...come here often? *purr*


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## fatlane (Nov 30, 2005)

Sandie trades pirated DVDs for rep points. That's why she has the most on this board.


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Nov 30, 2005)

fatlane said:


> Sandie trades pirated DVDs for rep points. That's why she has the most on this board.




HEY!!!

That is not how I get my rep points!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## coyote wild (Nov 30, 2005)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> HEY!!!
> 
> That is not how I get my rep points!!!!!!!!!!!!!




then how do you explain this pirated DVD i purchased from you?


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## Aurora (Nov 30, 2005)

Aurora is really a skinny, homosexual, 17 year old boy who wears an extremely realistic fat suit.


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Nov 30, 2005)

coyote wild said:


> then how do you explain this pirated DVD i purchased from you?




A misguided gift?


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## fatlane (Nov 30, 2005)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> A misguided gift?



Truth hurts, don't it.

Shall you turn yourself in to the RIAA, or do I need to make that call?


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## fatlane (Nov 30, 2005)

Aurora said:


> Aurora is really a skinny, homosexual, 17 year old boy who wears an extremely realistic fat suit.




Then whoever's selling your videos is in trouble for pushing kiddie porn... YIKES! I NOW AVERT MY EYES FROM THE CHILLUNS ON THE THREAD!


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Nov 30, 2005)

fatlane said:


> Truth hurts, don't it.
> 
> Shall you turn yourself in to the RIAA, or do I need to make that call?




There's no need for that is there handsome?? *wink wink*

I can make it worth your wile. :smitten:


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## old_dogsoldier (Nov 30, 2005)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> All Praise the Frisbee. The physical purge was a symbolic purge of evil from your system!!!!!
> 
> The handshake - well I have one question. How limber are you???????



I think the purge of evil was more than symbolic. Now all that damn evil is in my carpet. Does the Frisbee allow carpet exorcisms?

I've started doing stretching exercises in preparation for the handshake. I already can touch my knees with the tips of my fingers, with minimal help from the car crusher. I'm looking forward to reading the Frisbee's Holy Instruction Manual. Hallelujah!


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## Tragdor (Nov 30, 2005)

Jay West Coast is Tyler Durden, Brad Pitt, and Edward Norton all at the same time


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## fatlane (Nov 30, 2005)

Sandie_Zitkus said:


> There's no need for that is there handsome?? *wink wink*
> 
> I can make it worth your wile. :smitten:



I want 50 rep points, in small denominations, in a brown bag placed in locker 3714 at the San Fransisco Greyhound terminal. By midnight tonight.


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## Wayne_Zitkus (Nov 30, 2005)

old_dogsoldier said:


> I think the purge of evil was more than symbolic. Now all that damn evil is in my carpet. Does the Frisbee allow carpet exorcisms?


Sorry - for that, you have to contact the Cathedral of the Stanley Steamer.


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## Wayne_Zitkus (Nov 30, 2005)

Tragdor said:


> Jay West Coast is Tyler Durden, Brad Pitt, and Edward Norton all at the same time


Is that why we've never seen them photographed together???


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## OnAnotherPlanet (Nov 30, 2005)

Funny, 'cause I'd heard OnAnotherPlanet's been so idle on these forums because he's hiding out after impregnating a skinny girl. Who'da thunk it.


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## fatlane (Nov 30, 2005)

Is that why you're not a member of any public groups, hm???


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## OnAnotherPlanet (Nov 30, 2005)

I didn't even know public groups existed in here, I thought that was just a forum feature since no one else is in them. Point me in the right direction!

Well, once the paternity test results come in.


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## fatlane (Nov 30, 2005)

I'm not in any groups, either. Conrad won't let us have any because he's actually Santa Claus and that's how his elves operate in our society. Private groups. If we got into one, JUST ONE, we'd blow this whole presents thing wide open.


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## Obesus (Nov 30, 2005)

I actually AM a companion member of the O.T.O. Thelema Lodge!!!??? I am told they run the Freemasons, but they seem curiously inept at asking me for my $10 a year membership on time!
Well, the Scientology thing I don't talk about a lot...I had this girlfriend and she invited me out to dinner with some "friends" and the next thing I knew, I was in the attic with a chalkboard and they were explaining things and...well, you obviously know the rest...MY GOD, CAN NO ONE CREATE A RUMOR ABOUT ME THAT isn't TRUE???? I am submerged in hopelessness... sob!




fatlane said:


> I am not being run by youth. And that computer's set up to MONITOR me, not operate me.
> 
> And Obesus, speaking of mind control, you want to tell everyone about your membership in Jack Parson's magick circle, or shall I?
> 
> Be sure to remember how it all pertains to Scientology...


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## Obesus (Nov 30, 2005)

Allen Ginsberg used to work when he was a struggling Beat poet? You don't seriously mean......?????? :shocked: 



fatlane said:


> I want 50 rep points, in small denominations, in a brown bag placed in locker 3714 at the San Fransisco Greyhound terminal. By midnight tonight.


----------



## fatlane (Nov 30, 2005)

Obesus said:


> I actually AM a companion member of the O.T.O. Thelema Lodge!!!??? I am told they run the Freemasons, but they seem curiously inept at asking me for my $10 a year membership on time!
> Well, the Scientology thing I don't talk about a lot...I had this girlfriend and she invited me out to dinner with some "friends" and the next thing I knew, I was in the attic with a chalkboard and they were explaining things and...well, you obviously know the rest...MY GOD, CAN NO ONE CREATE A RUMOR ABOUT ME THAT isn't TRUE???? I am submerged in hopelessness... sob!



The good news is that 90% of the rumors I craft won't be understood by 90% of the population. 

Ned Sonntag seems to get quite a few references... is he your Dr. Gonzo? I only ask because I really liked the way you faked your own death there, Mr. Hunter S. Thompson...


----------



## Obesus (Nov 30, 2005)

...either that, or you hacked my extensive FBI file....I am told it is telephone book sized! I can't explain what came over me....it must have been the Lloigor or maybe the Mi-Go insects took control of me again...it happens whenever I think about....LITTLE DEBBIE Snack Cake Products...I have a sudden urge to wear Ray-Bans....CIA mind control....Project MK=Ultra! YES! That must be it...no wonder I have so many fillings in my teeth...it is all getting blurry now....must find gamemaster....Oops! Stepped out of game bounds! LOL  
PS...Ned, in real life, is an OK dude..I actually met him! Gosh, I can't come up with a rumor if I bend over backwards, which I can't! :shocked: 



fatlane said:


> The good news is that 90% of the rumors I craft won't be understood by 90% of the population.
> 
> Ned Sonntag seems to get quite a few references... is he your Dr. Gonzo? I only ask because I really liked the way you faked your own death there, Mr. Hunter S. Thompson...


----------



## Jes (Nov 30, 2005)

I heard Planet and I are part of a secret Philly cabal that...well, that's no longer so secret. Human sacrifice, alien abduction, yada yada, the typical stuff.


----------



## Obesus (Nov 30, 2005)

What the heck good is a cabal without tasty snack cakes and good soda pop? :eat1: 




Jes said:


> I heard Planet and I are part of a secret Philly cabal that...well, that's no longer so secret. Human sacrifice, alien abduction, yada yada, the typical stuff.


----------



## fatlane (Nov 30, 2005)

Obesus said:


> ...either that, or you hacked my extensive FBI file....I am told it is telephone book sized! I can't explain what came over me....it must have been the Lloigor or maybe the Mi-Go insects took control of me again...it happens whenever I think about....LITTLE DEBBIE Snack Cake Products...I have a sudden urge to wear Ray-Bans....CIA mind control....Project MK=Ultra! YES! That must be it...no wonder I have so many fillings in my teeth...it is all getting blurry now....must find gamemaster....Oops! Stepped out of game bounds! LOL
> PS...Ned, in real life, is an OK dude..I actually met him! Gosh, I can't come up with a rumor if I bend over backwards, which I can't! :shocked:



Fear and Loathing in a Dimensions Thread... I'll have what he's having, unless Tres_Huevos gets it first.


----------



## Jes (Nov 30, 2005)

Obesus said:


> What the heck good is a cabal without tasty snack cakes and good soda pop? :eat1:



You have a point there, Obbie. And as I've always said: I totally wanna become a pedophile for that hot little debbie!


----------



## Ivy (Dec 1, 2005)

Dan ex machina came back from the dead and kidnapped Ivy and Kellie Kay which is why they haven't posted in forever. They are being held at gun point in his dorm room. 

And, Ivy craving cheesecake like crazy. And he refuses to go to the store.

Dan ex bastardina is more like it.

At least I can work on perfecting my pout, right?


----------



## Sandie_Zitkus (Dec 1, 2005)

Ya know - Fatlane seems to know way too much about everyones stats here. I say He's CONRAD!!!!!!!!!!:doh:


----------



## Obesus (Dec 1, 2005)

Just look at what is probably the longest and most confusing thread in the history of Dimensions..."The Frenzy Thread"...yup...Fatlane and "AnnMarie"...I think he was just routing signals through a remote server, while the REAL AnnMarie was sound asleep enjoying fuzzy dreams about kittens and puppies! Imagine that...stooping to posting to himself..ha-rumph errrr..thanks for the reputation points there, Fatlane...no bad feelings, eh? (nervous laugh) :bow: 




Sandie_Zitkus said:


> Ya know - Fatlane seems to know way too much about everyones stats here. I say He's CONRAD!!!!!!!!!!:doh:


----------



## fatlane (Dec 1, 2005)

I can neither confirm nor deny that I am Conrad.

My refusal to comment has no connection to my refusal to post a picture of myself.

I categorically deny being AnnMarie, however.


----------



## Obesus (Dec 1, 2005)

The last refuge of the categorical, is it to be then, eh? Well, since I am not at all Obesus, but actually Hyperphage (aha!), I can use my shifting kaleidoscopic identities to throw a little monkey wrench in that one! If anyone at all has any clue as to what I am saying here or who I actually am, could they please email me? Thanks! Buh-bye!  
The Mysterous, reclusive and totally frammused Swami Jalananda Obesaji




fatlane said:


> I can neither confirm nor deny that I am Conrad.
> 
> My refusal to comment has no connection to my refusal to post a picture of myself.
> 
> I categorically deny being AnnMarie, however.


----------



## fatlane (Dec 1, 2005)

I know I'm not you.


----------



## Obesus (Dec 1, 2005)

..at least I think it does...unless you REALLY ARE me and just trying to throw "me" off the track! Clever! Hummmph! I'm callin' in the Junior Space Rangers on this one and if they hafta' call Raleigh outta' Chicago, so be it! :shocked: 



fatlane said:


> I know I'm not you.


----------



## fatlane (Dec 1, 2005)

You know we can't fight in here. This is the War Room.


----------



## Obesus (Dec 1, 2005)

I will resume my tender, quiet, humanitarian and loving care for the octopi in the fish tank! Hey...*there is a rumor*....finally, an actual and verifiable "rumourette"...there is no fish tank in reality...just octopi!!!:doh: Obe-wan has octopi, nanner nanner nanner!  




fatlane said:


> You know we can't fight in here. This is the War Room.


----------



## fatlane (Dec 1, 2005)

Current listening: Fleetwood Mac, "Rumours"


----------



## Obesus (Dec 1, 2005)

...actually has exceptionally FAT arms, which she hides with all of those shawl type thingys!  (Was THAT a Rumour?)







fatlane said:


> Current listening: Fleetwood Mac, "Rumours"


----------



## fatlane (Dec 1, 2005)

The proof is in the pudding, as they say. I guess she just ate too much pudding.

Speaking of Number 10 Cans, where's Buffie of late? Is she getting her 75th boob job?


----------



## Obesus (Dec 2, 2005)

Buckets full of delicious creamy butterscotch pudding with lots of whipped cream on top.....mmmmmmmmmmmm.....oooooooh...what thread am I in again? Talk about food porn...I better get me a private booth!  




fatlane said:


> The proof is in the pudding, as they say. I guess she just ate too much pudding.
> 
> Speaking of Number 10 Cans, where's Buffie of late? Is she getting her 75th boob job?


----------



## Buffie (Dec 2, 2005)

What a bunch of freak-ass wierd sickos!!! I love you guys! I dunno if I could laugh harder. 

Finally I've got make-out-with-chicks rumors about me, yay!! AND I'm a triplet? SCORE!! 

Duuude, Fatlane, like seriously man, dude, man, seriously, dude... WHERE did you ever find a pic of SUCH a sweeet mullet??? That's SO business-in-the-front-party-in-the-back! Rad... NO... TUBULAR! Yeah! Gnarly! Wicked awesome!

75th boob job? Shouldn't it be an even number? What would I do with 75 boobs? Where does the odd one go?


----------



## Jes (Dec 2, 2005)

Obesus said:


> Buckets full of delicious creamy butterscotch pudding with lots of whipped cream on top.....mmmmmmmmmmmm.....oooooooh...what thread am I in again? Talk about food porn...I better get me a private booth!



Once, in grad school the first time, my friends and I decided we were gonna buy one of those insititutional-sized vats of pudding (a gallon, maybe?) and eat the whole thing, together, in front of the TV, just the 3 of us, a spoon apiece. 

And so we cracked it open and ate and ate and ate. Disgusting. My friend bought the butterscotch flavor which wasn't so good to begin with, and because it was in a can, it had a weird metallic flavor and frankly, at some point, the fact that we were eating the dessert of prisoners nationwide went from alluring to just plain depressing. We gave up. I'd be willing to try it again, given 2 fun co-participants and some decent-tasting choccie pudding!


----------



## Obesus (Dec 2, 2005)

Field of chocolate pudding....yes! Oh, swimming pools! Hmmm...maybe I better bring some diving gear! LOL Miss J..that suggestion rawks! (See, I learn how to spell now!)  Chocolate is not my favorite, but I will somehow make it through...teamwork! :shocked: :eat1: 




Jes said:


> . I'd be willing to try it again, given 2 fun co-participants and some decent-tasting choccie pudding!


----------



## fatlane (Dec 2, 2005)

Buffie said:


> 75th boob job? Shouldn't it be an even number? What would I do with 75 boobs? Where does the odd one go?



Well you got that one that's just a little bit bigger than the other.

Probably because of the NSA listening device planted there. The metallic fluid in your implants made them powerful recievers for intercepting Russian signals.


----------



## Obesus (Dec 2, 2005)

Is truth, da?....USSR invent boob jobs, back in 1936. Lysenko and team of proletarian surgeons....part of five year plan to create glorious worker's paradise, eh? :shocked: 




fatlane said:


> Well you got that one that's just a little bit bigger than the other.
> 
> Probably because of the NSA listening device planted there. The metallic fluid in your implants made them powerful recievers for intercepting Russian signals.


----------



## fatlane (Dec 2, 2005)

Yes, when he was taking a break from encouraging wheat to be patriotic by growing in Siberian winters...


----------



## Jes (Dec 2, 2005)

Obesus said:


> Is truth, da?....USSR invent boob jobs, back in 1936. Lysenko and team of proletarian surgeons....part of five year plan to create glorious worker's paradise, eh? :shocked:



That's when they changed NEP to NIP, right?  haha.


----------



## fatlane (Dec 2, 2005)

They never opened the NKVD files on Obesus...


----------



## Jes (Dec 2, 2005)

fatlane said:


> They never opened the NKVD files on Obesus...



He was dekulak'd a long time ago.


----------



## swamptoad (Dec 2, 2005)

Mattel and Chef Boyardee boycott proceeds of fund-raised Krispy Kreme baked goods in spite of chilvarous outbursted protests by swamptoad, reporters have stated. Charities continue to wreak havoc and the police are furious in other parts of the world.


----------



## Obesus (Dec 4, 2005)

.....only ones who could take me down and turn me out....but that is past, da? In meantime, does anyone have experience with trying to re-get your password from ALT.com??? They have this very complicated way for retrieving your login and password...I mean, like, I am ready to lay down cash, eh? They should make it as easy as possible! Ooooooh....new rumor....OBESUS IS A MEMBER OF ALT.COM!!!! Hey...that one is true too...I mean....I am just about rumor-proof here...frammus!  




Jes said:


> He was dekulak'd a long time ago.


----------



## Obesus (Dec 4, 2005)

...Obesus is dating MR. MUSTARD!!!:shocked:   :doh: :wubu: 
Honey flavored mustard, that is! 



Obesus said:


> .....only ones who could take me down and turn me out....but that is past, da? In meantime, does anyone have experience with trying to re-get your password from ALT.com??? They have this very complicated way for retrieving your login and password...I mean, like, I am ready to lay down cash, eh? They should make it as easy as possible! Ooooooh....new rumor....OBESUS IS A MEMBER OF ALT.COM!!!! Hey...that one is true too...I mean....I am just about rumor-proof here...frammus!


----------



## Jes (Dec 4, 2005)

Obesus said:


> ...Obesus is dating MR. MUSTARD!!!:shocked:   :doh: :wubu:
> Honey flavored mustard, that is!



Mr. Mustard? Funny, because I heard Col. Mustard killed Obbie in the library with a candlestick.


----------



## Obesus (Dec 4, 2005)

(there's a word you just don't hear enough of!) Foiled yet again! Is there no relief from the enemy infernal machines and constant droning? Perchance the evil shock troops of doom are polishing their new laser weapons...yes...I can see clearly now! More light...more light!! Uuuuuurgh....

http://www.sam-hane.com/agency/overlord.htm



Jes said:


> Mr. Mustard? Funny, because I heard Col. Mustard killed Obbie in the library with a candlestick.


----------



## Jes (Dec 4, 2005)

And we would've gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't have been for you darned kids!!


----------



## Obesus (Dec 4, 2005)

http://www.mindspring.com/~ernestm/cthulhu/

http://www.inzenity.com/sdmythos/scoobydoo.htm

http://www.maison-otaku.net/~rhea/Cthulhu/Shaggy

and the list goes on!

I will just bet in this whole wide world, you thought I would never find, not just one, but several websites, linking Scooby-Doo with the Cthulhu Mythos! Aha!:shocked: 



Jes said:


> And we would've gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't have been for you darned kids!!


----------



## fatlane (Dec 4, 2005)

_I&#228;! I&#228;! Scooby ftaghn!_


----------



## Buffie (Dec 4, 2005)

Today's Rumor:

EbonySSBBW was kidnapped by a Euro-Alien and she now lives in a treehouse above a radioactive pond and only comes down for BBQ excursions.


----------



## fatlane (Dec 4, 2005)

That's not what I heard, but I'll pass it around, all the same.

I heard that AnnMarie just emptied out her closet, if you know what I mean, and has gone full-on furry. Have you seen her lately?


----------



## Buffie (Dec 4, 2005)

I'm not touchin that one with a rented 10-foot pole! We loves the AM, but we fears the wrath, matey, argh.


----------



## Obesus (Dec 4, 2005)

Saw the picture on the news at 5:00....wild man, that is just crazy, wild and wacky! It was very sudden and unexpected...I'm putting detective Jim Wallace on the case, pronto! Stat, even! :bow: 



fatlane said:


> That's not what I heard, but I'll pass it around, all the same.
> 
> I heard that AnnMarie just emptied out her closet, if you know what I mean, and has gone full-on furry. Have you seen her lately?


----------



## fatlane (Dec 4, 2005)

The king in yellow said, "Don't report this."


----------



## Obesus (Dec 4, 2005)

Is coming out real soon...we hope hope hope...errr...it is already available..yikes...I better go to work tomorrow and make me some moolah!! I just looooooove that Yellow Sign! I is so perky and inspiring! ROFL:bow: 





fatlane said:


> The king in yellow said, "Don't report this."


----------



## Obesus (Dec 5, 2005)

Both the "Create-a-rumor" and "Random Confessions" threads are pre-emptive strikes on Issue #2 of "The Bunion"...after all this, what good would there be in doing a rumor mag? Verrrrry clever! Aha!:bow: UNLESS....they know something we don't! AHA!


----------



## jdwhitak (Dec 5, 2005)

I'm really an evil scientist planning to strike a fatal blow to the leaders of the "thin is in" movement and other food nazis by lacing the health foods these people eat with a special blend of chemicals and hormones that will induce weight gain.


----------



## 1300 Class (Dec 5, 2005)

Heard this Australian lord type is half mad, half balmy. and all bastard.


----------



## fatlane (Dec 5, 2005)

Delaware does not exist.


----------



## Buffie (Dec 6, 2005)

Hi... I'm in Delaware. (Do you know what movie that's from!?! Do ya?? Do ya??)


----------



## AnnMarie (Dec 6, 2005)

I barely have room for all the "normal" clothes, never mind furry paraphernalia I'd need, and where would I keep all the heads?? Ugh.


----------



## Buffie (Dec 6, 2005)

AnnMarie wins for most Creative and Tasty Rumor!


----------



## MissToodles (Dec 6, 2005)

I'm beginning to smell like almonds...


----------



## AnnMarie (Dec 6, 2005)

Buffie said:


> AnnMarie wins for most Creative and Tasty Rumor!



Why thank you, but I don't believe I started one. 

*takes her statuette and runs*


----------



## Buffie (Dec 6, 2005)

Do almonds smell like amaretto? If they do, have you noticed if more people than usual have tried to lick you lately?  



> Why thank you, but I don't believe I started one.
> 
> *takes her statuette and runs*


 ~Gasps!~ AnnMarie! You never fail to surprise.


----------



## Obesus (Dec 8, 2005)

...on the BHM/FFA board, but we don't talk about things like that in THIS family! :shocked:


----------



## fatlane (Dec 8, 2005)

Oxygonus species
(COLEOPTERA: ELATERIDAE)







Oxygonus Obesus

Coincidence? I THINK NOT!


----------



## Trisha (Dec 8, 2005)

Buffie said:


> Hi... I'm in Delaware. (Do you know what movie that's from!?! Do ya?? Do ya??)



Wayne's World, isn't it?


----------



## Obesus (Dec 9, 2005)

Me n' duh Coleoptera go waaaaaaaaay back! It's true...I'm raising duh hand and statin' it so's it won't be no rumor no more! I feel shame.....:shocked: 
PS...I know I was all signed up to be your evil henchman, but I actually woik for Ming da' Moice-i-less....I'm a bad poison!  (pronounced poh-sohn, as in Person)





fatlane said:


> Oxygonus species
> (COLEOPTERA: ELATERIDAE)
> 
> Oxygonus Obesus
> ...


----------



## fatlane (Dec 9, 2005)

And how do you suppose you'll explain your way out of THIS?


----------



## Obesus (Dec 9, 2005)

I was kinda' hoping to slick and slide myself through the dragnet of your watchful eyes and the microscope of the French Secret service with some, uh, cocoa butter type preparation! Uhhhhhhh...maybe not such a good idea after all...oooooohhhh....Plan B.  Vast amounts of static electricity! Yuppers, that'll do it, just fine and dandy!  




fatlane said:


> And how do you suppose you'll explain your way out of THIS?


----------



## fatlane (Dec 9, 2005)

Fool! Do you not know I, too am master of the electrical arts! BEHOLD! I HAVE INSTALLED MY OWN CEILING FAN/TESLA COIL COMBINATION!






Keeps the room cool and eliminates vermin!


----------



## Obesus (Dec 10, 2005)

Overwhelmed, even kvetched and frammused a bit...I might have the electrical socket tummy inflammations or something from just looking at that sucker...is that new on the thirteenth floor of the FORTRESS OF EVILTUDE? I don't get up there too much...a bit too fat to waddle up the thousand steps to get there, eh?  Master, you never cease to amaze  
PS, as much as I love to waddle around in your shadow, I am thinking of going back to Dr. Moreau...fewer steps...



fatlane said:


> Fool! Do you not know I, too am master of the electrical arts! BEHOLD! I HAVE INSTALLED MY OWN CEILING FAN/TESLA COIL COMBINATION! keeps the room cool and eliminates vermin!


----------



## fatlane (Dec 10, 2005)

I see your Doc Moreau and raise you a Patrick Roy.


----------



## Obesus (Dec 10, 2005)

I'll see ya' and raise ya' a "No Kill I" CD! Aha!....the world's (thank God) ONLY Star Trek Punk Rock band outta' Sacto CA!!!!!! Aha!


----------



## fatlane (Dec 10, 2005)

'Ere now! We'll have none of that, then!


----------



## LillyBBBW (Dec 10, 2005)

jdwhitak said:


> I'm really an evil scientist planning to strike a fatal blow to the leaders of the "thin is in" movement and other food nazis by lacing the health foods these people eat with a special blend of chemicals and hormones that will induce weight gain.



Bah! It's already been done. Where do you think all the cancer, MS and cardiovascular diseases are coming from? You're better to discover an antidote and get a patent for it. Then you can put it in the non healthy foods like M&M's, Oreos, ice cream cake and chocolate sauce so that the only affordable cure for artificially induced disease is to eat fatty foods. Now THAT's an evil scientist.


----------



## Obesus (Dec 10, 2005)

Oooooh....Fatlane frequents....places! Places of no repute whatsoever, no moral, ethical or aesthetic value...and he reads the NEWSPAPER! Aha! I knew it! I am aghast and deeply disturbed by this revelation! He also glows in the dark!



fatlane said:


> 'Ere now! We'll have none of that, then!


----------



## fatlane (Dec 10, 2005)

To mis-quote your former signature:

Judge ye not the impiety of kings...


----------



## Buffie (Dec 11, 2005)

HA HA! Dubya is smokin a fattie!!! Haa haa ha haaa haaaa!!! Duuuude, runnin the country is coooool.


----------



## fatlane (Dec 11, 2005)

Why do you think the dollar bill is _green_ with all that crazy stuff on the back, dude?


----------



## Obesus (Dec 11, 2005)

I just like saying "Aha!" a lot, but I think we have clearly established that Fatlane and Buffie have a thread going on here at Dimensions. Oh, that isn't a rumor, eh? Well then, I am starting a rumor that Buffie is cute! Aha! Oh, I am not just good at this at all! Must be my fishy genes! Ooooh there is a good one, finally..."Obesus worships fish!" (especially fried in deep fat...yummy!)



fatlane said:


> Why do you think the dollar bill is _green_ with all that crazy stuff on the back, dude?



Ohh...the Piccy is of the fallen Dagon in front of the Ark..who knew? Oy and ouch!


----------



## Obesus (Dec 11, 2005)

Alrighty then! Am I sensing a Buffie/Ace Ventura "thing" going on here? Hmmmm?  



fatlane said:


> To mis-quote your former signature:
> 
> Judge ye not, but the impiety of kings...


----------



## Buffie (Dec 12, 2005)

Ace Ventura!? Ohmigawd, how did you find out??? I thought they made my life story into a rather tasteful film, although I initially questioned their decision to cast Jim Carrey as me.

I hear the Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus was based on you, Obesus. Didn't some one also say that Alicia Silverstone movie The Babysitter was a biography of FatLane's experiences as a nanny in Los Angeles? Cosmic how there are movies about all of us! Wowee!


----------



## fatlane (Dec 12, 2005)

I have never been an illegal alien nanny. Ever. Those are dirty lies, Buffie. Take them back.

You're the one to talk, anyway. Turns out AnnMarie's not the ONLY fluffy kitty on the board. I do a Google Image search on "Buffie", and on page two, I find THIS!






How is it you get the human suit on every day, HMMM?


----------



## Buffie (Dec 12, 2005)

Actually it's an Edgar suit.


----------



## fatlane (Dec 12, 2005)

Care to explain what THIS guy was doing in your room last night?






I can't imagine why you'd trust an old bloodsucker like him.


----------



## Obesus (Dec 12, 2005)

To see this preview from: "BARBIE AND PEGASUS IN THE VAULT OF OBSCENE HORROR!" _("No-shana-wani nabuto" in Japan)_ I understand they brought Nyarlathotep in from Egypt just for a cameo as the streetcar conductor for the "razors of doom" scene and, of course, I played Barbie rather well for a 305 pound man with a shaved head and goatee! Cosmic, indeed! :shocked:  Didn't I mention the "Buffie is gosh-darn cute!" thread over on the BHM board hmmmm? :smitten:  Fatlane, dude, let's see you get out of this one, eh?



Buffie said:


> Ace Ventura!? Ohmigawd, how did you find out??? I thought they made my life story into a rather tasteful film, although I initially questioned their decision to cast Jim Carrey as me.
> 
> I hear the Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus was based on you, Obesus. Didn't some one also say that Alicia Silverstone movie The Babysitter was a biography of FatLane's experiences as a nanny in Los Angeles? Cosmic how there are movies about all of us! Wowee!


----------



## fatlane (Dec 12, 2005)

Escape?

No sooner said than done.






But a magician never tells his secrets until he's ready to write his memoirs or a book of magic tricks...


----------



## Obesus (Dec 13, 2005)

...personnage, you! I could just....errrrr......uhhhhhhh......ohhhhhhh....give Buffie a big ol' bunny hug! Pffft!  



fatlane said:


> Escape?
> 
> No sooner said than done.
> 
> But a magician never tells his secrets until he's ready to write his memoirs or a book of magic tricks...


----------



## fatlane (Dec 13, 2005)

Karnak, you say?






FEEL MY POWER, SLAVE!


----------



## Obesus (Dec 13, 2005)

...even deal with cleaning behind the sparky thing in the corner, but I absolutely do not do pyramids or massive mortuary temples...I draw firm emotional boundaries around that issue! I know the Fortress of Eviltude has had some construction lately, but this is beyond the beyond...I will get the nice little cleaning lady that the agency sent out to handle this matter...back to the brain case, eh...the Mi-go are stopping by tonight and you know what THAT means! I wish you would tell me, though! :bow: Sphinx brains are Ok though! I will water those until the cows come home...



fatlane said:


> Karnak, you say?
> 
> FEEL MY POWER, SLAVE!


----------



## fatlane (Dec 13, 2005)

How about a piece of my mind?






Free thinking while supplies last.


----------



## Obesus (Dec 13, 2005)

...but Google helped me out....and it makes me feel better about romping around in the Canyons of your Mind!  



fatlane said:


> How about a piece of my mind?
> 
> Free thinking while supplies last.


----------



## fatlane (Dec 13, 2005)

Such is the stuff of rumours, of course...


----------



## Jes (Dec 13, 2005)

I heard that the guy Jes went out on a date with a couple of weeks ago is married.


----------



## fred_elliot (Dec 13, 2005)

I am gay and love it


----------



## Obesus (Dec 13, 2005)

Were I there, Miss J, I would soundly thrash him about the ears, bop him on the nose and engage in general fisticuffs! The very thought....makes my Irish temper boil...and I am no small, nor weak individual! I have to watch the back though...L4 and L5 are a bit frammusy....  




Jes said:


> I heard that the guy Jes went out on a date with a couple of weeks ago is married.


----------



## Jes (Dec 13, 2005)

Obesus said:


> Were I there, Miss J, I would soundly thrash him about the ears, bop him on the nose and engage in general fisticuffs! :



Right? Yeah. Well, he's not really worth my time. And that's no rumor. I figured it out, he never came clean. Luckily for me, I was in no way besotted so I somehow don't even feel duped (though I was).


----------



## fatlane (Dec 13, 2005)

Buffie isn't posting updates because her boob implants have shifted to her kneecaps - makes it very hard to buy pants and she's flat-chested now.


----------



## Obesus (Dec 14, 2005)

I think your hypno-therapy treatment is starting to wear off...you are muttering gibberish (kicks Master under table!)...as we all know, Miss Buffie is VERY tall and has a deadly karate kick...and well...I am just thinking of the lack of employment opportunities for henchmen these days....Obesus ducks as huge shadow covers them both.....gulp! :shocked: 



fatlane said:


> Buffie isn't posting updates because her boob implants have shifted to her kneecaps - makes it very hard to buy pants and she's flat-chested now.


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## fatlane (Dec 14, 2005)

I heard deafness is on the rise and I see there's an uptick in blindness, as well.


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## Obesus (Dec 14, 2005)

...we could have been crushed by the awesome bosom-powers of Miss Buffie..although it would have been a pleasant way to go in its' own way! I am going to reflect upon our salvation with a meditation upon sweetness and goodness! :eat1:


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## fatlane (Dec 15, 2005)

Je... Je me rappelle...


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## Jane (Dec 15, 2005)

Obesus said:


> Were I there, Miss J, I would soundly thrash him about the ears, bop him on the nose and engage in general fisticuffs! The very thought....makes my Irish temper boil...and I am no small, nor weak individual! I have to watch the back though...L4 and L5 are a bit frammusy....


I have a 2x4 you can borrow. I brandish it about....though most of it is imaginary.


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## Obesus (Dec 15, 2005)

Excellent back brace for the Lumbar vertebral problem....then I could certainly bop him on the nose, albeit a bit awkwardly! Style does matter in such fisticuffs of honor! Thanks for the lend! He'll regret trifling with our Miss J when a 5' 9" 300 pound man in a 15th Century Francsican Monk's robe comes lumbering after him like Frankenstein's very monster! Get it, "lumbering"??? Ahhhhh...gotta' go now...nice meeting youse!  



Jane said:


> I have a 2x4 you can borrow. I brandish it about....though most of it is imaginary.


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## Obesus (Dec 15, 2005)

"Incal", eh...Looks to be like I will be joining you in learning about that Euro thingy! Je recherche a la vendeuse! I just wanna' buy that dang big ol' cheese over thar! Them gol-durn wimmen! 



fatlane said:


> Je... Je me rappelle...


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## fatlane (Dec 16, 2005)

Better run go get a copy before everyone else beats you to it!


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## Obesus (Dec 17, 2005)

Affirmative. Roger that good buddy! Stat. Can-DO! You say "Jump!", I say "Frog!" Gonna' be flexible here and responsive! You da' boss! Okey-Dokey! Yuppers! Will do! (Maybe I shouldn't have had that second double Capp this morning!) :shocked:


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## fatlane (Dec 17, 2005)

And see to it I am NOT disturbed by outsiders as I conduct my experimentations. We are in a difficult phase right now, as you well know, and delicate, precision thoughts are required on these heady subjects...


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## Obesus (Dec 17, 2005)

..."make sure the water in the atomic cappucino maker is hot enough to make the Cappucino nice and foamy enough..."???? Yes, cappucino foam IS a *HEADY* topic...ooooh, I just kill me!!! ROFL   



fatlane said:


> And see to it I am NOT disturbed by outsiders as I conduct my experimentations. We are in a difficult phase right now, as you well know, and delicate, precision thoughts are required on these heady subjects...


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## fatlane (Dec 17, 2005)

And here's Mick Ronson hanging out with my former avatar...


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## Obesus (Dec 17, 2005)

Than this one? The weird thing is that the day he died, my ex-wife found a pair of glasses absolutely identical to his laying on Valencia Street in Frisco...we lead strange and charmed lives....



fatlane said:


> And here's Mick Ronson hanging out with my former avatar...


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## fatlane (Dec 17, 2005)

Hunters, hunters, everywhere! And not any bought me a drink!


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## Jes (Dec 17, 2005)

fatlane said:


> Hunters, hunters, everywhere! And not any bought me a drink!



oh, we're just trying to give you the Tough Love that you so richly, richly deserve.


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## Obesus (Dec 17, 2005)

This is just more proof that GOOGLE, in the hands of maniacs like me and FL is about the deadliest weapon in the history of civilization!  



Jes said:


> oh, we're just trying to give you the Tough Love that you so richly, richly deserve.


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## Jes (Dec 17, 2005)

Not you, the other one, Obbie.


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## Obesus (Dec 17, 2005)

Il Maestro...the one of whom we may not speak..whose name may not be spoken...the Master in whose shadow I cringe....the one whom I serve as faithful henchman? The one...the only...FATLANE??? Him? Oh. 





Jes said:


> Not you, the other one, Obbie.


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## fatlane (Dec 17, 2005)

I think Jes was referring to my lack of alcohol.

Would hate to see me all strung out like Dino Martini...


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## Jes (Dec 17, 2005)

fatlane said:


> I think Jes was referring to my lack of alcohol.
> 
> [/IMG]



Nope; not even close.


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## fatlane (Dec 17, 2005)

Well then, enough already!

I'm going on a vacation. Here's my brochure.






Looks fascinating. Can't wait to see the sewers of the major European capitals!


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## Obesus (Dec 18, 2005)

Frammus, frobnishers and freezlers!! Ooze rules!! Just Google "ooze" and see the power and majesty of OOZE!!  




fatlane said:


> Well then, enough already!
> I'm going on a vacation. Here's my brochure.
> Looks fascinating. Can't wait to see the sewers of the major European capitals!


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## fatlane (Dec 18, 2005)

Which reminds me... 'tis the season, and all...

http://www.thebricktestament.com/the_gospels/jesus_is_born_02/mt01_18plk01_26.html


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## Buffie (Dec 20, 2005)

Real Life Rumor floating around Buffie's office... She's a Fat Chick!!! Aieeeee!!! Run away! Run away! Run away!


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## Obesus (Dec 20, 2005)

Office....? Somehow I pictured you living a life of danger for the FBI...as a secret agent fat chick....or maybe a truck-drivin' CB hammerin' spy or maybe workin' in the lab, late one night....this revelation alters my weltanschauung considerably..I must ponder, ponderously, down on the Ponderosa, perhaps with Hoss.....hmmmmm....maybe I will just sit on a rock and think! :bow: 



Buffie said:


> Real Life Rumor floating around Buffie's office... She's a Fat Chick!!! Aieeeee!!! Run away! Run away! Run away!


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## fatlane (Dec 20, 2005)

(Image of Buffie selling propane and propane accessories... )


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## Obesus (Dec 20, 2005)

Just gotta' be a rumor floatin' around there somewhere....hmmmmm.....spherical things of huge proportion...hmmmmm. Nope, can't think of a single rumor...false alarm! 
Oooops! post number 666...that one crept up! :shocked: 



fatlane said:


> (Image of Buffie selling propane and propane accessories... )


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## Buffie (Dec 21, 2005)

Obesus, Fatlane... I wonder about you two. What IS that contraption, Fatlane? It looks like some sort of high tech bong. Hee hee.... I said HIGH tech BONG! LOL 
Hey Obesus, that building looks oddly familiar. Hmmmmmm


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## Obesus (Dec 21, 2005)

Palais du Buffie from the 1908 Pan-American Exposition right here in San Francisco...how, oh how did they know about you in 1908? Well, that is a story involving relativistic doppler shifting, 11-Brane M-Spaces and several odd coincidences that Fatlane will be happy to tell you about. 
PS...I wonder about Fatlane and myself a lot..it is like we are two clones of the same person trapped in the body of a giant lobster....hmmmm...lobster....the fridge is calling me....wanders off! :shocked: 
PPS...oh, the high tech gizmo is a black-body radiation curve apparatus for measuring the temperature curves of blocks of carbon as they are heated with propane...it is a loooooong story! Has to do with cosmic cosmology and such!



Buffie said:


> Obesus, Fatlane... I wonder about you two. What IS that contraption, Fatlane? It looks like some sort of high tech bong. Hee hee.... I said HIGH tech BONG! LOL
> Hey Obesus, that building looks oddly familiar. Hmmmmmm


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## Jack Skellington (Dec 21, 2005)

Here's my rumor.

I once shot a man for snoring to loud and you can read all about it a deluxe leather bound volume by Time Life books.


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## Obesus (Dec 22, 2005)

I am impressed! I have yet been able to come up with a viable rumor about myself, since I lead the life of a dull and sheltered personnage! Still, there is hope...I am taking lessons from the masters!



Jack Skellington said:


> Here's my rumor.
> 
> I once shot a man for snoring to loud and you can read all about it a deluxe leather bound volume by Time Life books.


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## mrskeet (Aug 8, 2006)

are y'all talking about the sexy buffie the body at www.buffiethebody.com?


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## Buffie (Aug 8, 2006)

Yes, that's the Buffie about whom they're talking. Exactly. ~giggles~


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## Ericthonius (Aug 8, 2006)

mrs.keet said:


> are y'all talking about the sexy buffie the body at http://buffie.bigcuties.com




*Yeah!!! And the rumour is: Next Saturday, they're making her Queen of Tacovania!!!*


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## Buffie (Aug 8, 2006)

Ericthonius said:


> *Yeah!!! And the rumour is: Next Saturday, they're making her Queen of Tacovania!!!*


Clever, sneaky AND naughty! My favorite combo! Sssssmoooch!


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## mrskeet (Aug 8, 2006)

Buffie said:


> Clever, sneaky AND naughty! My favorite combo! Sssssmoooch!


Buffie the body is a cool lady and very down to earth but if you make her mad she will cuss you out though. C the God found that out.


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## Obesus (Aug 8, 2006)

.....which is the most absurd thing that I have _ever_ heard, that Buffie and Porkchop are contemplating some sort of eating contest or standoff or some such, involving tacos and M&M's! Well, let me assure you that I will certainly not have any part of that whatsoever and I am certain that this came from the fevered imagination of some feedee/feeder person, probably from San Francisco! Aha! I will, however, sneak into the pumpkin-pie event held afterwards, strictly to taste the pie-quality for the standards committee. That, though, is only mere and base rumor! Aha!  :shocked:


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## Jane (Aug 8, 2006)

Obesus said:


> .....which is the most absurd thing that I have _ever_ heard, that Buffie and Porkchop are contemplating some sort of eating contest or standoff or some such, involving tacos and M&M's! Well, let me assure you that I will certainly not have any part of that whatsoever and I am certain that this came from the fevered imagination of some feedee/feeder person, probably from San Francisco! Aha! I will, however, sneak into the pumpkin-pie event held afterwards, strictly to taste the pie-quality for the standards committee. That, though, is only mere and base rumor! Aha!  :shocked:


Obie...have you never used M&M's instead of salsa on a taco?


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## Buffie (Aug 8, 2006)

mrskeet said:


> Buffie the body is a cool lady and very down to earth but if you make her mad she will cuss you out though. C the God found that out.


Then that Buffie has something in common with this Buffie. Swearing is fun! I don't think I've ever cussed someone out, though. Not my style. But swearing just for giggles, always! Every day, as much as possible. Ask anyone, foul language is one of my favorite hobbies. Whee!


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## Buffie (Aug 8, 2006)

Jane said:


> Obie...have you never used M&M's instead of salsa on a taco?


M&M salsa on a Choco-taco! Jane, you're genius! Brilliant! :eat2:


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## Obesus (Aug 9, 2006)

...but I am noted as an adventurous fellow....perhance I had best make sure the dentist slaps that crown in, el pronto!  Ohhhhh....I see, Salsa Mole' ahhhhhhhhh...Ok then! Cool...it took a second!



Jane said:


> Obie...have you never used M&M's instead of salsa on a taco?


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## Obesus (Aug 9, 2006)

...you might need a couple of choice expressions in German and Irish...the best swearwords I have heard in a couple of minutes! Wish I could remember how to spell them!



Buffie said:


> Then that Buffie has something in common with this Buffie. Swearing is fun! I don't think I've ever cussed someone out, though. Not my style. But swearing just for giggles, always! Every day, as much as possible. Ask anyone, foul language is one of my favorite hobbies. Whee!


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## Reenaye Starr (Aug 9, 2006)

I heard Reenaye Starr is pregnant with Freddy Kreuger's baby... Now they are making a documentary film about it- "Dream Child 2- Not so dreamy"


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## Reenaye Starr (Aug 9, 2006)

pinuptami said:


> Man, you know that Tami Paige...she's such a womanizer! Rumor has it she's cheating on Ivy with Kellie and Buffie! And that poor boyfriend of hers...what must he be thinking?



She has been trying to cheat on poor Ivy with me as welll.. Infact the other day, that cheating wench told me I was her new "old lady" crush... I am 25 for crying out loud, not 50.... LOL

*It worked, cause I just like all other women have sadly fallen under Tami's ultimate womanizing spell... I am such a cradle robber*


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## Buffie (Aug 10, 2006)

Reenaye Starr said:


> I heard Reenaye Starr is pregnant with Freddy Kreuger's baby... Now they are making a documentary film about it- "Dream Child 2- Not so dreamy"



Ohhh, good rumor! I like the horror element. Unique! Good job!


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