# all by myself after my ex left



## likeitmatters (Aug 25, 2009)

*it has been two weeks and my ex has been gone and I am feeling the effects of him still. because he left me with no money no car(my car as a bad tranny) I cannot work and my rent is due and my electricity I have no clue on where the money is going to come from. I have applied for unemployment because my car was a necessary tool for my job and I dont have a car at the moment though I wish I had the balls to put on a website that I need money to fix my tranny which will cost 1500.00 but I am too honest to sponge off of others.

and I am thinking that I am a freak of nature because in the gay community they basically think very little of you and dont want to be your platonic friend without benefits. He made me feel like shit because in his eyes I have a small package and I said I am happy with what I was dealt with and I told him that at least I did not cheat on you with some strange man. I consider myself a man who has values and takes pride in himself and I could never ever date a man who is a man whore or a slut. I would be so embarassed if some guy came up to me and said my partner was good in bed.

Sorry if I am rambling but I see a dark dark hallway and no lights and my own light is going out and frankly it would be the best thing for me. Sometimes I wish I had died with my immortal beloved Carl years ago, he was the only man who loved me for me and did not care about my package and only about me.

thank you for listening guys...

love you all

*


----------



## likeitmatters (Aug 25, 2009)

who have lost someone they loved...it has been almost 5 years and the pain is still there hidden by me..just had to let it out..


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGeROT6fNrs


----------



## steely (Aug 25, 2009)

I don't know what to say, other than I'm sorry for the pain you are dealing with right now. I will send good, warm thoughts your way in hopes things will be better soon.


----------



## toni (Aug 25, 2009)

*hugs* I am sorry you are going through such a rough time. Things can only get better for you. Keep your head held high.


----------



## rabbitislove (Aug 26, 2009)

There is a reason for you to be here. Dont wish you were dead, please. We all care about you, and your wisdom has benefitted many here in Dims. I know you'll probably never meet most of us, but as the voice of reason you've provided more help than you'll ever know.

I hope you get unemployment and everything works out. Just know that it sucks, but it will end. And know what your ex said isnt true. <3

Dont give up man.


----------



## Horseman (Aug 26, 2009)

Nothing that can be said or written will really help at a time like this. But your hurt is palpable in your words.

I just hope that in the days ahead you can come to grips with the fact that negative opinions about you uttered by someone who would so betray a partner aren't worth the breath they were spoken with.

A seemingly pretty smart guy said that happiness comes from within and only you can chart where your happiness will go with you in life.

Let it take you to a place where jerks like your ex are nowhere to be found.


----------



## rockabelly (Aug 27, 2009)

likeitmatters said:


> I see a dark dark hallway and no lights and my own light is going out and frankly it would be the best thing for me. Sometimes I wish I had died with my immortal beloved Carl years ago, he was the only man who loved me for me and did not care about my package and only about me.



When you're in a dark place, you need to brighten it up with a flashlight. The flashlight will hold you over until the sun comes up. I can assure you the sun will come up again and fill your world with sunshine.

Try not to let shallow people ruin you. Consider their leaving a blessing and not a dark chapter. 

Our life is like a jar and sometimes it gets filled with bad things. Even though we might have the sweetest peaches inside that jar, if we allow someone to put their shit it it, the peaches are ruined. We must remove everything and wash the jar out and make it squeaky clean for the next items we choose to put inside of it. It is your jar and choose wisely the things you place inside. Fill it with only positive things and your jar will be the greatestest potpouri which brightens the days of others as well. Always be careful of who you let in, because the fragrant aroma of the the jar will attract no only nice people, but bad people, too.

In 2003 I lost my wife to a DVT. I feel your pain. It is hard to recover from a loss like that, but it gets better, my friend. The sun will come out again. Good things will come your way very soon, if not today.


----------



## rockabelly (Aug 27, 2009)

I forgot to tell you the most important thing...

The true measure of a man is not his "package", but his deeds.


----------



## likeitmatters (Aug 27, 2009)

rockabelly said:


> When you're in a dark place, you need to brighten it up with a flashlight. The flashlight will hold you over until the sun comes up. I can assure you the sun will come up again and fill your world with sunshine.
> 
> Try not to let shallow people ruin you. Consider their leaving a blessing and not a dark chapter.
> 
> ...



*I am understanding everything you are saying and I appreciate it alot but I have been going through this for almost 5 years and I have my good days and bad days and I have more bad days. Everything I was up to that point was lost and everything I am now is meaningless without him. He was the wind beneath my wings and I cannot fly over the clouds like I did and find very little happiness in this world. when you had perfection in your life everything is second best.

Thank you for listening.*

:bow:


----------



## jewels_mystery (Aug 27, 2009)

I am so sorry your having a hard time right now. It will get better. hugs


----------



## the hanging belly (Aug 29, 2009)

I'm very sorry for everything you've been through. Despite only being with my ex for 6 days, I'd been in love with him for 4 years prior to us getting together, and though its been over a month since he broke up with me, its just so hard. No words anybody can say will make things better, but just know that you're not alone. I hope things work out for you, just stay strong.


----------



## likeitmatters (Sep 7, 2009)

I met somebody over at another website for gay men and he took instance liking to me and surprisingly enough I happen to like him and he is around my age and not some damm twink or twinlet..stay away from those flightly twinks..just wondering do twinks exist in the straight community or are they called something else?

well he lives in colorado and he is a bhm with heart and soul and keeps me grounded and sane during this period of chaos and we are getting to know each other the way i want to know someone without sex. and hope to meet once my financial situations is under control..

:bow:


----------



## Teleute (Sep 7, 2009)

I'm so glad to hear it! Sounds like you two are getting on famously, and that's awesome. 

I'd say the closest thing to twinks in the straight community are bimbo sorority girls and their equally ditzy but non-sorority equivalents (note, this is not counting awesome girls who happen to be in a sorority. Just the ones who fit the "sorority girl" movie stereotype. Think Clueless or Legally Blonde.) I don't think there's really a male version; I mean, there was the big "metrosexual" fuss a while back, but as far as I can tell they didn't fill the same sort of relationship role as twinks.


----------



## likeitmatters (Sep 8, 2009)

*Well that ended quickly and because of me. I flatly refuse to be afterthought with any man. he is a wonderful man however, he did not tell me that his family and friends come first and I wonder if men read profiles. I flat refuse to a second rate citizen or a bed warmer or fuck buddy. I want to be thought of being special and not make plans and then have to cancell them because of some family member. Sorry I am at the age where I want to be number one and not be behind family friends relatives work buddies or gym buddies or whatever and yes it is selfish but once you have it you want it again.[/B


:bow:*


----------



## Risible (Sep 8, 2009)

likeitmatters said:


> *Well that ended quickly and because of me. I flatly refuse to be afterthought with any man. he is a wonderful man however, he did not tell me that his family and friends come first and I wonder if men read profiles. I flat refuse to a second rate citizen or a bed warmer or fuck buddy. I want to be thought of being special and not make plans and then have to cancell them because of some family member. Sorry I am at the age where I want to be number one and not be behind family friends relatives work buddies or gym buddies or whatever and yes it is selfish but once you have it you want it again.[/B
> 
> 
> :bow:*


*

I don't think it's selfish at all for you to want a relationship in which you will be placed above all others. Hold out for that, in fact (it sounds like you already are); find someone who shares that goal. I'm sorry this most recent interest didn't work out for you, but you know what they say - there are lots o' fish in the sea!

Good luck to you. *


----------



## likeitmatters (Sep 10, 2009)

I told that man goodbye and told him that when he is sleeping in bed and alone maybe he can call his friends or family to sleep with him and snuggle with him or do that nasty.

I have a great saying I am using...dont put me in the nosebleed section of the ball park and put your friends and family in the executive boxes by home plate and expect me to feel welcomed and loved...because I wont be there.


:bow:


----------



## Surlysomething (Sep 10, 2009)

likeitmatters said:


> *Well that ended quickly and because of me. I flatly refuse to be afterthought with any man. he is a wonderful man however, he did not tell me that his family and friends come first and I wonder if men read profiles. I flat refuse to a second rate citizen or a bed warmer or fuck buddy. I want to be thought of being special and not make plans and then have to cancell them because of some family member. Sorry I am at the age where I want to be number one and not be behind family friends relatives work buddies or gym buddies or whatever and yes it is selfish but once you have it you want it again.[/B
> 
> 
> :bow:*


*

But you're barely in this relationship and you expect to be put above his family? Are you serious? You haven't even built anything and you tore it down because he cares for the people in his life.

I think you make it a lot harder on yourself than you have to. People aren't perfect and pleasing everyone is a hard job. Maybe you should cut the guy some slack.*


----------



## likeitmatters (Sep 10, 2009)

Surlysomething said:


> But you're barely in this relationship and you expect to be put above his family? Are you serious? You haven't even built anything and you tore it down because he cares for the people in his life.
> 
> I think you make it a lot harder on yourself than you have to. People aren't perfect and pleasing everyone is a hard job. Maybe you should cut the guy some slack.[/QUOTE
> 
> ...


----------



## Surlysomething (Sep 10, 2009)

likeitmatters said:


> Surlysomething said:
> 
> 
> > But you're barely in this relationship and you expect to be put above his family? Are you serious? You haven't even built anything and you tore it down because he cares for the people in his life.
> ...


----------



## likeitmatters (Sep 10, 2009)

and yes it is somewhat clouding my eyes but in a good way..I just would rather be alone than be after thought..when you had a wonderful partner who put you first you sort of get spoiled..

but thanks

hugs to you


----------



## likeitmatters (Sep 19, 2009)

*and this time I asked how he would fee about putting me first and not his family or friends...he said my family and I dont speak and to me my partner comes first..hurray finally a man of quality and honesty. I do not understand how someone will think of their family first or friends over their partner? 

I will let you know what happens and he lives only two hours away..and he is a big ole bear of a man and loves to eat lol[/B


:bow::bow:*


----------



## HDANGEL15 (Sep 19, 2009)

likeitmatters said:


> *and this time I asked how he would fee about putting me first and not his family or friends...he said my family and I dont speak and to me my partner comes first..hurray finally a man of quality and honesty. I do not understand how someone will think of their family first or friends over their partner?
> 
> I will let you know what happens and he lives only two hours away..and he is a big ole bear of a man and loves to eat lol[/B
> 
> ...


*

hon...isn't that a huge RED FLAG TO YOU? He doesn't speak to his family? I am speaking for myself only, OBVIOUSLY, and although my family of origin is as dysfunctional in its' own way, as anyone elses - I LOVE THEM, they are my family, and when I meet someone that has not spoken to their family or siblings or has NO FRIENDS, there has to be a deep reason *IMHO* as to the whys..and makes me think hard about what is going on in his life as to how they handle relationships.....just a thought, take some time and love yourself....no matter what 

it will happen when it happens....*


----------



## likeitmatters (Sep 19, 2009)

HDANGEL15 said:


> *
> hon...isn't that a huge RED FLAG TO YOU? He doesn't speak to his family? I am speaking for myself only, OBVIOUSLY, and although my family of origin is as dysfunctional in its' own way, as anyone elses - I LOVE THEM, they are my family, and when I meet someone that has not spoken to their family or siblings or has NO FRIENDS, there has to be a deep reason *IMHO* as to the whys..and makes me think hard about what is going on in his life as to how they handle relationships.....just a thought, take some time and love yourself....no matter what
> 
> it will happen when it happens....*[/QUOTE
> ...


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya (Sep 19, 2009)

likeitmatters said:


> I met somebody over at another website for gay men and he took instance liking to me and surprisingly enough I happen to like him and he is around my age and not some damm twink or twinlet..stay away from those flightly twinks..just wondering do twinks exist in the straight community or are they called something else?
> 
> well he lives in colorado and he is a bhm with heart and soul and keeps me grounded and sane during this period of chaos and we are getting to know each other the way i want to know someone without sex. and hope to meet once my financial situations is under control..
> 
> :bow:



I'm just wondering, I've never really thought being gay or straight changes the way you are as a person, If you're a douchebag you're a douchebag, you can be a straight douchebag or a gay douchebag, or a black douchebag or a Mexican douchebag, Color and Gender preference don't really matter in the end, if you're a good person it comes through, if you're not it doesn't, but my question is, why do you say to stay away from twinks? I know what twinks are, I'm just wondering why you prefer to stay away from them. is it just drama with them or what?


----------



## likeitmatters (Sep 19, 2009)

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> I'm just wondering, I've never really thought being gay or straight changes the way you are as a person, If you're a douchebag you're a douchebag, you can be a straight douchebag or a gay douchebag, or a black douchebag or a Mexican douchebag, Color and Gender preference don't really matter in the end, if you're a good person it comes through, if you're not it doesn't, but my question is, why do you say to stay away from twinks? I know what twinks are, I'm just wondering why you prefer to stay away from them. is it just drama with them or what?[/QUOTE
> 
> my experience is that they tend to want and gimme and take and take and give nothing because they feel men my age can give them things they cannot afford at all..and I have nothing in common with twinks...they are generally reckless and a waste of time to me...but that is me..
> 
> ...


----------



## Hozay J Garseeya (Sep 19, 2009)

That's interesting. And Thanks for sharing, I can see why someone younger would think that they can get a "sugar daddy" if the guy is older. 

thanks again for sharing.


----------



## Teleute (Sep 19, 2009)

Hozay - You're right, it doesn't change who you are as a person. However, I think a lot of times younger people of any orientation can get caught up in feeling like they have to match some role or stereotype, and I think that feeling can be even stronger for young queer kids. They're already feeling alienated, and they really want to fit in SOMEWHERE. If the group you think you're "supposed to be like" is competitive and image-conscious, it can be dangerous. When you're that worried about your own image, it can be easy to let other people's feelings fall by the wayside, especially if gaining things at another's expense is viewed as a status thing. This is kind of why I think the "sorority girl" is comparable to the twink, because in both scenes having people drooling after you so much that they'll give you all kinds of things is kind of a measure of your status. And yeah, most people grow out of it, because most people are not ACTUALLY douchebags of that caliber; they begin to recognize their own immaturity and the effect their actions have on others, and they start allowing their own personality to shine through. This is why I think it's important to be able to recognize when someone is still caught up in the image nonsense, and avoid it. They will probably be an awesome person in a few years, but they have a lot of growing up to do, and jumping into a relationship while they're still reveling in attention and drama is only asking for trouble. 

Uh, that turned into kind of a weird ramble. Sorry about that. <_< I hope it was at least a little helpful for what you were asking.


----------



## cheekyjez (Oct 6, 2009)

likeitmatters said:


> I have question for the straight community. If you get married to your husband or wife who comes first in your relationship? your family or wife or husband? I really like to know.



Thread necromancy! 

Well, by the time we get married, my wife is clearly coming first. But that said, if my family has some emergency where they need me to be somewhere or do something, I'd expect my wife to understand that and I would grant her the same freedom. For example (before we were married) her mom had to come to Seattle for a week for surgery, so we both took a week off work to look after her.

But at the start of a relationship? It's a lot to ask of someone to put you first, when they don't really know. I understand that you want a very deep and serious relationship, but you've seen that when you try and jump into one, you find out that the guy isn't what you really want and get hurt. If you take things a little slower, your partner will be much more likely to put you first when it's important.

Now, this is different from an adult who lives with his/her parents. There's three reasons that would happen:
1) They don't earn enough money to support themselves. 
2) Their parents are their best friends.
3) They need to look after their parents who are in poor health.

In (1) or (2), they're pretty bad prospects. In (3), they are probably not good to date right now, but may be a good long term option.


----------



## likeitmatters (Oct 6, 2009)

well I have met someone who likes me for me and puts me before friends and family but like me he does not have any family to speak of and they are not talking but I am not opposed to emergency if a family members needs my partner not at all. What I am talking about is when the family thinks their bros or sister are supposed to be on call 24-7 and I am left in the lurch as so many men I have prefer to do.

1) They don't earn enough money to support themselves.
2) Their parents are their best friends.

these two are what I call a waste of time to date because they are either momma boys or lazy. I met one guy that lived with mommy and he did not work too much and only when he needed some extra money for a vacation and even then he would not even move in with another guy and prefer to be on call for sex and I told him..you sound like a "man whore" who would want a man like that or even a woman like that?? but that is me.

:bow:


----------



## likeitmatters (Oct 6, 2009)

he is kind and considerate and I have been told he looks like my late partner and I dont mind and neither does he mind and in fact he feels it is a compliment. and he is my age...

:bow: 

View attachment 1004091210[1].jpg


----------



## tankgirl (Oct 6, 2009)

Just a thought: Sounds like you need some YOU TIME more than you need another partner. Clean up your own head before you start worrying again about what other people want. Seems to me you've just been running from one guy to another hoping they can give you something, and you have no idae what it is. I'll tell you- it's peace. Peace of mind, peace of spirit, peace of soul. You hurt, and you want someone to help you make that hurt go away. Bad news, friend: You're on your own for this one.
And getting yourself tied up in someone else to forget your own pain is only a temporary bandage. It doesn't fix the problem, it just masks the symptoms. Bad idea. It's like going to the alchohol, or to the drugs, or pick an addiction. Perhaps that's a bad choice of words, but since it's harmful either way, the analogy seems to suit.
On second thought, being addicted to company CAN be a bad thing. If you have no idea who you are when you're alone, then how can you know who you are? How do you know what you can do by yourself, if someone's always around to help you make sure the pieces get picked up?
Not like this is my soapbox, but a few years ago (back in 2002), I miscarried. Well, they call that spontaneous abortion, but miscarried sounds so much better, and not so dramatic. And this happened not once, but twice in two years. I never even got to see them. That hurts.
For a few years, I was going around looking for someone to help the hurt go away. Broke up with my husband, went with a couple other guys, and no one was able to help me get rid of the feeling that I'm just not worthy of being a parent. Sometimes, it still bothers me. Hell, thinking about it too much bothers me.
The point? The answer?
You know, I still haven't found the answer, or the light at the end of the tunnel, or the sunshine hasn't found me yet, or however you want to phrase that smeg. I still feel like crap about it, and just a bit angry towards the deity I choose to believe in. And very angry at myself, because I just can't shake the feeling that I did something wrong- and no one can prove I didn't. The doctors refuse to explain in words I can understand.
On the one hand, the years have shown me that I'm not really NEAR to mature enough. Still too selfish.
On the other hand (where there are different fingers), what makes it right for these stupid little twinkie girls to have three kids that they can't control, and another one on the way?
I don't know either.
I know this though:
The answer does not come from other people. Only you can solve the problems of your feelings. In the end, only you can say, "That's enough." You're the only one who knows why the questions never go away.

This advice goes for SO many people around here, on the boards and around my personal home area.

Good luck to you.... sounds like you'll need it....

And don't cut someone out of the picture if they're young, live at home, and have been saving their money so they can get a nice house. Keyword there is young. Over 30, I think you can call it bollux. ^.^
(Yes, I've met a few of those.)

And no, I'm not saying give up on everyone. Just saying, sometimes you need to experience the darkness to remember what the light is like. And I promise... it's not as dark as you think it is. We can still see you pretty clearly.
Or, on a more smartass note, to restore some humor here...
If you find yourself in a hole.... QUIT DIGGING! 

...We love everyone here, don't we. Even the people we'll likely never meet face to face.
Maybe this is why I come online when I have a problem.
Crap, I type a lot.


----------



## tankgirl (Oct 6, 2009)

Cute pic. Good luck, again.


----------



## likeitmatters (Oct 6, 2009)

Like I said we are taking easy and slowly and he lives in his own place and I live in my own place and he understands me better than most. as far as digging a hole beieve I climbed out of one and made peace with myself and I thank the spirits of my family for the guidance they gave me and the spirits of the world and nature for giving me the peace of mind.

But I will tell you tank girl, the ones that I mentioned that are hopeless in my eyes are the ones that make bad dates..been there done that...and at my age I can be reckless a bit because I paid my dues to society and just now enjoying my life. And if anything becomes of this great and if not, we are still friends and I am not one to call just anybody friend these days..and platonic friends..

and thank you for the compliment about the pic..appreicate that alot and question for you tank girl...do tank girls have tank heads???? lol Just had to throw some lite humor in the mix


:bow:


----------



## chubloverUK86 (Oct 7, 2009)

I don't wish to throw a spanner in your works, but don't you think you're a tad hypocritical? You've categorically stated that you think people who don't have a job or enough money to support themselves "make bad dates" and yet, at the beginning of your topic you quite clearly stated that you were left in financial tatters with no money and no job.

So, in effect, did you not qualify - at least for a period - as exactly the kind of person you are not interested in? Not only that, but you're very opinionated about espousing your own morals to other people, and yet where have they got you so far? You sound like you have religious belief. You must of heard of, "Judge not, lest ye be judged"? You're doing a lot of judging for someone who was left distraught and penniless and yet seem to admit no fault on your own behalf for anything whatsoever. 

You could have met a thousand men and still not be in a position to be able to judge people like you do; to be able to say that they didn't interest you as soon as you got wind that they live with their parents, or borrow money or don't have a job. You know why? Because you sound like you're attracted to exactly the same types of people all the time. You even compare your current, shall we say, interest, to your last one! It's an endless cycle. I mean really, who do you think you are? Why are you asking yourself what these men can DO FOR YOU? You should surely be questioning what you could do for one another?

I'm the last person I'd expect to be calling someone else cynical, but you really do sound it. Don't always look towards other people for failings in your life. Sometimes they are your own, or they exist elsewhere and you're failing to recognise them.

If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.


----------



## tankgirl (Oct 8, 2009)

chubloverUK86 said:


> I don't wish to throw a spanner in your works, but don't you think you're a tad hypocritical? You've categorically stated that you think people who don't have a job or enough money to support themselves "make bad dates" and yet, at the beginning of your topic you quite clearly stated that you were left in financial tatters with no money and no job.
> 
> So, in effect, did you not qualify - at least for a period - as exactly the kind of person you are not interested in? Not only that, but you're very opinionated about espousing your own morals to other people, and yet where have they got you so far? You sound like you have religious belief. You must of heard of, "Judge not, lest ye be judged"? You're doing a lot of judging for someone who was left distraught and penniless and yet seem to admit no fault on your own behalf for anything whatsoever.


 
Because, sir, one CAN be a touch hypocritical when deciding what to share one's bed (or life) with. It's expected, normal, and I don't think anyone can say that it's 100% not true. I think I'd accept up to 90% not true. Past that you're lying. Further than that, when one is in a bad way, one is not looking for more jackoffs in the same boat that is going down. Most people look for a way to change boats. Unless, of course, they're either too stupid (or too nice) to see what's happening.



> You could have met a thousand men and still not be in a position to be able to judge people like you do; to be able to say that they didn't interest you as soon as you got wind that they live with their parents, or borrow money or don't have a job. You know why? Because you sound like you're attracted to exactly the same types of people all the time. You even compare your current, shall we say, interest, to your last one! It's an endless cycle. I mean really, who do you think you are? Why are you asking yourself what these men can DO FOR YOU? You should surely be questioning what you could do for one another?


 
Because, when one is tired of giving their all, one will be a bit more selfish, and wonder what's in it for me- or am I just going to take it without vaseline again?
Because, face it, sir: Only a rare type of person likes it without lube, and even rarer are the ones who like it that way, and go looking for it constantly. Or, more clearly, only a stupid bastard will paint WELCOME on his forehead and tattoo boobies on his back and let anyone do what they wish with his nether regions.
No one is REQUIRED to bend over and take it happily. Matter of fact, if you think you've been forced into a compromised position, you probably have been, and it's time to pack up the toys and go.
And if your friends or sig. other cost more in your life than you do, it's time to re-examine your values. Would you honestly say you'd be willing to pay for everyone in your life until the day you die? Why not expect them to have their own life, and contribute to yours while you contribute to theirs, and not complicate it unnecessarily?
And as for the same types of people- I bet you are too, and so is a large majority of everyone else. Look VERY closely in that mirror before you say a DAMN word. And only a few either just don't have that problem, or manage to mix it up in spite of fate.
YOU sound young and inexperienced.



> I'm the last person I'd expect to be calling someone else cynical, but you really do sound it. Don't always look towards other people for failings in your life. Sometimes they are your own, or they exist elsewhere and you're failing to recognise them.
> 
> If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got.


 
Duh?! Really?! 

You are cynical. And I think you missed the OP's point, and mine.
And, as you said, who the hell are you to judge anyway?


----------



## chubloverUK86 (Oct 8, 2009)

Oh god, look what I've started.

I said my piece thanks. Have you checked this guy's forum profile? It says he's "unemployed by choice" (hypocritical). Have you checked his blog? He has pictures of his ex all over it saying that "this is the looser that owes me money". Have you seen what he's posted in the "weird looks thread?". He posted that he thinks all children are idiots, and that they think they know everything when they know nothing? (Sweepingly judgemental). He's childish and so are you.

Unlike yours, my opinions are reasoned. I form them from what I see and read there, then bitch it out. You and he share a common trait, your bitching is just that; simple bitching. It's formed from nothing more than what you want to say. So say it, by all means, just don't get your knickers twisted because I don't agree with you. I get the feeling you've got knives for me because of what I've said to you in the other topic, considering that my response to this topic has been here for over a day now. Drop it, and so will I.


----------



## Surlysomething (Oct 8, 2009)

tankgirl said:


> Because, sir, one CAN be a touch hypocritical when deciding what to share one's bed (or life) with. It's expected, normal, and I don't think anyone can say that it's 100% not true. I think I'd accept up to 90% not true. Past that you're lying. Further than that, when one is in a bad way, one is not looking for more jackoffs in the same boat that is going down. Most people look for a way to change boats. Unless, of course, they're either too stupid (or too nice) to see what's happening.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




I think he totally nailed it myself. :bow:


----------



## cheekyjez (Oct 8, 2009)

tankgirl said:


> Because, when one is tired of giving their all, one will be a bit more selfish, and wonder what's in it for me- or am I just going to take it without vaseline again?
> Because, face it, sir: Only a rare type of person likes it without lube, and even rarer are the ones who like it that way, and go looking for it constantly. Or, more clearly, only a stupid bastard will paint WELCOME on his forehead and tattoo boobies on his back and let anyone do what they wish with his nether regions.



I don't know what you're smoking, but I'm curious about where you got it.


----------



## likeitmatters (Oct 8, 2009)

*I do appreciate them though some words of so called wisdom come out of the mouth of babes who have not lived my life nor lived as long as myself.*

and me judging...hardly just telling you my life and for the record boys and girls when I was not working I stayed home till I found the money to fix my car. and then proceeded to get my life back in order and I have thank you very much.

And I stand by every word that is on my blog because it is the truth and to the younger generation walk in my size 9 shoes and let me know how it feels to get beaten up and have some kind of numbness in your hand. The idiot that left me high and dry is just that idiot..sorry to say a "fat idiot" who I allowed to take advantage of me. And that wont happen again ever.

:bow:


----------



## likeitmatters (Oct 8, 2009)

I said my piece thanks. Have you checked this guy's forum profile? It says he's "unemployed by choice" (hypocritical). Have you checked his blog? He has pictures of his ex all over it saying that "this is the looser that owes me money". Have you seen what he's posted in the "weird looks thread?". He posted that he thinks all children are idiots, and that they think they know everything when they know nothing? (Sweepingly judgemental). He's childish and so are you.

you must fall into the 20 something age group is that correct? nevermind I got my answer by looking at your profile..Like I said..out of mouth of babe...enuff said..


----------



## likeitmatters (Oct 8, 2009)

*I have been with three men in 10 years and only three men. How many men or women can say that these days? I am proud of the fact that I am not a man whore and never will be nor do I care to associate with those types...to me those men make the gay community look bad here in the usa and probably everywhere else. And to that end yes I am very judgmental about them. *


:bow:


----------



## kinkykitten (Oct 8, 2009)

really sorry to hear things have been rough for you. Really hope things are starting to look up. Stay positive! and Good luck


----------



## chubloverUK86 (Oct 8, 2009)

likeitmatters said:


> you must fall into the 20 something age group is that correct? nevermind I got my answer by looking at your profile..Like I said..out of mouth of babe...enuff said..



You got your answer by looking at my age, and then dismissed everything else out of hand. Congratulations, you've proved my point perfectly.

The only reason I feel compelled to say these things is that you're intent on suggesting that a person like me, who's younger than you, doesn't know jack. Well, your blog might very well represent your version of the truth, but that doesn't make it any less childish. You sound like a gay version of a "bunny boiler".

I might not have years of wisdom on my side like you claim to, but I'll bet you anything that when it comes to emotional maturity, I leave you in the dust pal, and I'm not the only one. I've chatted to teenagers who seem to have a better conceptual grasp of emotional understanding and etiquette than you do.


----------



## Surlysomething (Oct 8, 2009)

likeitmatters said:


> ..sorry to say a "fat idiot"
> :bow:





On a size acceptance site?


Lame.


----------



## Surlysomething (Oct 8, 2009)

likeitmatters said:


> you must fall into the 20 something age group is that correct? nevermind I got my answer by looking at your profile..Like I said..out of mouth of babe...enuff said..



Age has nothing to do with anything. Oh wait...men of your age should know better then, right? Come on.


----------



## tankgirl (Oct 8, 2009)

likeitmatters said:


> you must fall into the 20 something age group is that correct? nevermind I got my answer by looking at your profile..Like I said..out of mouth of babe...enuff said..


 
SCORE!!!!!!


----------



## tankgirl (Oct 8, 2009)

chubloverUK86 said:


> You got your answer by looking at my age, and then dismissed everything else out of hand. Congratulations, you've proved my point perfectly.
> 
> The only reason I feel compelled to say these things is that you're intent on suggesting that a person like me, who's younger than you, doesn't know jack. Well, your blog might very well represent your version of the truth, but that doesn't make it any less childish. You sound like a gay version of a "bunny boiler".
> 
> I might not have years of wisdom on my side like you claim to, but I'll bet you anything that when it comes to emotional maturity, I leave you in the dust pal, and I'm not the only one. I've chatted to teenagers who seem to have a better conceptual grasp of emotional understanding and etiquette than you do.


 
Wait till you're at the bottom of a hole that you recognize is (at least partially) your own making. Dude. Get it. Older people have seen some crap that hopefully you will never see. And have also learned how to read between the lines to see the message beneath, which apparently, you missed as well.
I've been through some shit that I hope you never see.
Accept it. Different people have different experiences, and if this is all you've got....
Wow.
Venting is normal, healthy behaviour. Having a blog to vent on is reasonable. It's like a diary, but you can't really control who sees it.
By the way, what's the point of having a blog if one is not allowed to do what they want with it? Sure, it's just one person's version of the truth, but then what? Gonna find the other person and find out exactly which one of em is right? What a waste of time. Why not just accept the original post as what it is- an echoing "WHY ME?!" sent to a board that you just happen to frequent. It happens.

Tell me, do you privately investigate EVERYONE who posts here- or just this one? And if you do it to everyone, WHY? What the hell is the point of that? "So you know who you're talking to?" There's no way to tell who you're really talking to even if you know them in person. (That is philosophy. I expect you don't understand that.)
Or is this just another way of you saying "You don't act like I choose to, so screw you!" ?? Come on. 

I feel sorry for all those "friends" you think you have, that apparently can't see inside the candy to the crap. (NINETY-TWO?! On ONE site...? WHAT THE FUU?!)
Wait ten years, and talk to me again. Damn internet babies. Must suck, being an acknowleged member of the C U L8R / r u t#3r3 / LOLCATZ generation.

I'm about to develop a problem with you.


----------



## likeitmatters (Oct 8, 2009)

we will agree to disagree on how I view life and sorry if I offended someone or something...

:bow::bow:


----------



## tankgirl (Oct 8, 2009)

Surlysomething said:


> On a size acceptance site?
> 
> Lame.


 

Dare I say, one is only a "fat idiot" if their mental/spiritual ugliness has FAR surpassed any physical beauty they might have posessed prior to opening their mouths, and of course, if they are not small.
Some people have an easier time doing this than others.


----------



## cheekyjez (Oct 8, 2009)

As I asked someone else in another thread - if you aren't interested in people's guidance on your situation, why post about your problems? 

You can be "unemployed by choice" and expect your partner to support you financially. But I would advise you (and I think Mr ChubLover would agree) that doing that makes you a less attractive prospect and so you will have a harder time finding and maintaining a relationship. When you say "young people know nothing", are you implying that having no job and no money would make it EASIER for you to find and maintain a relationship?


----------



## Surlysomething (Oct 8, 2009)

tankgirl said:


> Dare I say, one is only a "fat idiot" if their mental/spiritual ugliness has FAR surpassed any physical beauty they might have posessed prior to opening their mouths, and of course, if they are not small.
> Some people have an easier time doing this than others.




I think it was a totally disrespectful thing to say on a size acceptance site. We're trying to get away from that sort of bullshit. Justify it all you want, in MY eyes it was inappropriate. 

And your whole age stance is just as ignorant. I'm much older than chubloveruk86 and I agree with what the 'young' man has to say and i've had PLENTY of life experience. I chose to walk away from situations that were harmful not wallow in self pity. :bow: He asked for feedback by starting this thread. He now has feedback.


----------



## Surlysomething (Oct 8, 2009)

likeitmatters said:


> we will agree to disagree on how I view life and sorry if I offended someone or something...
> 
> :bow::bow:




We're only responding to a thread you started. No harm, no foul.


----------



## AreaMan (Oct 9, 2009)

I'm too tired to add much to this thread besides that the OP's nick seems pretty indicative of his take on life in general.

And he's typically thought of as a troll over at BellyBuilders, so sorry he's thrusting himself on you poor folks now too.


----------



## chubloverUK86 (Oct 9, 2009)

tankgirl said:


> Wait till you're at the bottom of a hole that you recognize is (at least partially) your own making. Dude. Get it. Older people have seen some crap that hopefully you will never see. And have also learned how to read between the lines to see the message beneath, which apparently, you missed as well. I've been through some shit that I hope you never see. Accept it. Different people have different experiences, and if this is all you've got.... Wow.



I have plenty of experience. I have met a lot of men in my short time, and I'm in a relationship with one now (and have been for 4 years). The man I'm in a relationship with is 40 years old. He's emotionally mature and very intelligent. Through meeting other people I've had bad experiences, upsetting experiences but also I've met some fantastic men and enjoyed some really great times.

You are championing the fact that different people have different experiences, but assuming that because I'm young I haven't had any yet and can't form opinions on other people who have. I'm a fast learner. Growing up with a very dysfunctional family, I've had to be. So why not show people respect based on what they're saying, instead of what you _think_ they might know? I've met more than one man that's the same age as the OP. I know from that, that age doesn't correlate with maturity. That's my opinion. You can disagree with it, but you can't tell me I'm not in a position to make it. 




tankgirl said:


> Venting is normal, healthy behaviour. Having a blog to vent on is reasonable. It's like a diary, but you can't really control who sees it.
> 
> By the way, what's the point of having a blog if one is not allowed to do what they want with it? Sure, it's just one person's version of the truth, but then what? Gonna find the other person and find out exactly which one of em is right? What a waste of time. Why not just accept the original post as what it is- an echoing "WHY ME?!" sent to a board that you just happen to frequent. It happens.
> 
> Tell me, do you privately investigate EVERYONE who posts here- or just this one? And if you do it to everyone, WHY? What the hell is the point of that? "So you know who you're talking to?" There's no way to tell who you're really talking to even if you know them in person. (That is philosophy. I expect you don't understand that.) Or is this just another way of you saying "You don't act like I choose to, so screw you!" ?? Come on.



Yes, venting is normal behaviour. For instance, I have vented my anger towards the OP in this very topic. I am angry because if you read everything he says, he comes off as someone who think he's a paragon of virtue and he's misguided enough to assume he's a good example of a caring gay man. He has the gall to say that other people in the gay world, these so-called "man whores" set a bad example for other gay men. *I'm a gay man*, so I am uniquely qualified to decide whether I'm happy with that as a statement. I'm not. I think that if anyone's setting a bad example, it's him, with his thoughtless comments, judgemental attitude and laughably vitriolic blog posts. Of course he can do anything he likes with his blog, but crikey, you read it and can't help think, "....Bitter much?".

Also, I'd hardly call it a personal investigation. I looked at his forum profile and a blog link that he is PUBLICLY DISPLAYING. You make it sound like a Gestapo-esque breach of personal security. At least I can say I looked into other aspects of his personality before I started writing my spiel; something that you didn't do with me.



tankgirl said:


> I feel sorry for all those "friends" you think you have, that apparently can't see inside the candy to the crap. (NINETY-TWO?! On ONE site...? WHAT THE FUU?!) Wait ten years, and talk to me again. Damn internet babies. Must suck, being an acknowleged member of the C U L8R / r u t#3r3 / LOLCATZ generation.
> 
> I'm about to develop a problem with you.



Now you're just personally attacking me. Why do you feel sorry for my friends? Yes, there are 92 - some are close some I've never met and hardly speak to. It's like Facebook, I know some of them through other people. If you were as wise and mature as you say, you'd know that "friend" can mean a different thing for a different person. I add people I've chatted to and got on with, not just people who I'm best buds with. That's not a failing on my part, it's yours for having such a short-sighted understanding of things.

And again, telling me to wait ten years and that I'm a baby, as if I'd have to be 33 to have the right to respond to you, or "Likeitmatters". You really just don't get it do you? I could have made my mind up about you ten years AGO, let along having to look into the future. I find your "LOLCATZ" comment quite ironic too, considering that your messages are ill-formatted. I mean, I've actually tidied them up whilst quoting you here and it wasn't difficult. What a cheek.

Don't worry though, your feelings toward me are very much mutual. I know I'm "only 23" but I do understand what it feels like to have a problem with someone. But whatever. I feel that if I defend my words or myself from you any further, I'll just be giving you reason to attack me some more. So, in light of that, my involvement in this topic is now over. Enjoy the rest of your enlightened existence . Hopefully in ten years I'll have enough life experience to be as pig-headed as the two of you.


----------



## likeitmatters (Oct 9, 2009)

AreaMan said:


> I'm too tired to add much to this thread besides that the OP's nick seems pretty indicative of his take on life in general.
> 
> And he's typically thought of as a troll over at BellyBuilders, so sorry he's thrusting himself on you poor folks now too.



I keep my postings at bellybuilders to a min and have been going there for a very long time so a troll is hardly a word to should be associated with me but oh well...so sad to bad..I can dish it out and take it because it does not faze me one bit...

but like always I want to thank you for your response...

:bow::bow::bow:


----------



## likeitmatters (Oct 9, 2009)

Yes, venting is normal behaviour. For instance, I have vented my anger towards the OP in this very topic. I am angry because if you read everything he says, he comes off as someone who think he's a paragon of virtue and he's misguided enough to assume he's a good example of a caring gay man. He has the gall to say that other people in the gay world, these so-called "man whores" set a bad example for other gay men. I'm a gay man, so I am uniquely qualified to decide whether I'm happy with that as a statement. I'm not. I think that if anyone's setting a bad example, it's him, with his thoughtless comments, judgemental attitude and laughably vitriolic blog posts. Of course he can do anything he likes with his blog, but crikey, you read it and can't help think, "....Bitter much?".

this is the response I normally get from gay men when I tell them that I would never ever be with a "manwhore". sorry if you do not like the truth and the truth is that "manwhore" make the gay community seem worse and give us a bad name. The straight community at large regards us as sex pigs and god know what else. I choose to be vocal about it and I am not alone. I have spoken to quite a few men such as myself who agree with me.

Your words are the typical statements of the young adults. They push men my age out of the way because we wont tell them what they want to hear and frankly it makes me sick. I did not protest all those years ago to be cast aside for being vocal and I am not about to stop now. 

And lastly, why is it that gay men get upset when I tell them about my feelings about having being with a "man whore"? the only ones that have a problem are the ones that have had multiply partners or in open relationships or May December romances or with a sugar daddy and baby or even a triad. 

If the shoe fits...I say wear it..you will need to live with yourself not me...

thank you for the response again.

:bow:


----------



## stldpn (Oct 16, 2009)

likeitmatters said:


> *it has been two weeks and my ex has been gone and I am feeling the effects of him still. because he left me with no money no car(my car as a bad tranny) I cannot work and my rent is due and my electricity I have no clue on where the money is going to come from. I have applied for unemployment because my car was a necessary tool for my job and I dont have a car at the moment though I wish I had the balls to put on a website that I need money to fix my tranny which will cost 1500.00 but I am too honest to sponge off of others.
> 
> and I am thinking that I am a freak of nature because in the gay community they basically think very little of you and dont want to be your platonic friend without benefits. He made me feel like shit because in his eyes I have a small package and I said I am happy with what I was dealt with and I told him that at least I did not cheat on you with some strange man. I consider myself a man who has values and takes pride in himself and I could never ever date a man who is a man whore or a slut. I would be so embarassed if some guy came up to me and said my partner was good in bed.
> 
> ...



Gay or straight no matter where you fall in the spectrum you'll find a few people who turn out to be big mistakes. Not every guy is a size queen. Unfortunately you won't find someone who is genuine without letting them close enough to hurt you. 

It's been my experience that both guys and girls will say hurtful things about your package when they have nothing more concrete to criticise and nothing else to justify themselves with. So it's probably not a good idea to put any stock in the things he said after he started fooling around.

Do you identify as a bear? Are you looking for a social club?


----------

