# where is the love for the msbbw???



## lipmixgirl (Mar 30, 2006)

hi all,

since joining the site, i have come to the conclusion thus far that the guys are either really into the "sbbw" small bbw or the ssbbw... where is the love for the midsize bbw???
those of us who are between 240-300 lbs??? sizes 22-30???? 

i wanna know!!! i must ask!!! i need to inquire!!!!!!


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## ataraxia (Mar 30, 2006)

Right here.

(And most likely, all about this place.)


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## AnnMarie (Mar 30, 2006)

I wear a 30/32 top or a 26/28 in some, and I'm 415lbs... so a ssbbw. Even years ago when down to 360 (still upside of what you've listed), I was a 26 bottom. 

I think there is enough love here for all the big girls, in various sizes of large, but just wanted to point out that the weight range listed may not quite match the size range listed... so it might not be clear to the guys exactly what you're asking.


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## Jes (Mar 30, 2006)

lipmixgirl said:


> hi all,
> 
> since joining the site, i have come to the conclusion thus far that the guys are either really into the "sbbw" small bbw or the ssbbw... where is the love for the midsize bbw???
> those of us who are between 240-300 lbs??? sizes 22-30????
> ...


I've felt this too, boobookitty. I'm 250--well, I WAS, but I just gained 8 or 10 lbs. Anyway, one can't help preferences just as we can't help not being what others prefer. Thems the brakes, even if they feel suckly duckly. 
I was telling someone the other day that we need a board devoted to short, fat, blondes who weigh 250ish, and those who admire them.  hahaha. Because really, it's all about me. 

You could be an invited guest, though.


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## ataraxia (Mar 30, 2006)

Jes said:


> suckly duckly


Um, wouldn't that hurt? I mean, those beaks and all...


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## Jes (Mar 30, 2006)

ataraxia, I kind of have my own language. I can't really translate everything.


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## ataraxia (Mar 30, 2006)

Jes said:


> ataraxia, I kind of have my own language. I can't really translate everything.


I guess _you_ can get away with such things. Sometimes I find it hard to believe that I helped you through your n00b state here, and not the other way around. I mean, you're such a _fixture_ of the place now.


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## MsGreenLantern (Mar 30, 2006)

I'm a 22 myself! I'm sure there are plenty of ladies on here of the general size and weight range. I'd consider myself a middle-weight here.


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## ataraxia (Mar 30, 2006)

MsGreenLantern said:


> I'm a 22 myself! I'm sure there are plenty of ladies on here of the general size and weight range. I'd consider myself a middle-weight here.


So your size matches your age?

That would have... interesting effect on some people here.


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## Totmacher (Mar 30, 2006)

Imagine a smiley face with a see-through head and little clockwork gears turning inside... 

I happen to like plain ol, un-modified BBW as well as those with the double s appellation. I've got a lot of love to go around.


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## Jes (Mar 31, 2006)

ataraxia said:


> I guess _you_ can get away with such things. Sometimes I find it hard to believe that I helped you through your n00b state here, and not the other way around. I mean, you're such a _fixture_ of the place now.


You helped me tremendously through the pictures and stuff, absolutely! But I'd been around webboards and whatnot. But you were fantastic for the pictures and I'm still thanking you.


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## Thrifty McGriff (Mar 31, 2006)

Well, I guess I have a "range" as most guys here probably do (or maybe I am wrong for saying that  )

Basically, chubby and up.  So say... 180 and beyond? I can't really use numbers as for one thing it doesn't seem right to me for whatever reasons. Admittedly I would prefer to be with a woman significantly heavier than 180 because I'm a stupid chauvinist male pig and this guy down here likes a lot of woman, but I would still be happy with a "smaller BBW" or whatever one would call such a woman. I hate terminology. Can't I just call you all women, and you just call me a man (or a lost little boy pretending to be one)?


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## Jes (Mar 31, 2006)

Thrifty McGriff said:


> Well, I guess I have a "range" as most guys here probably do (or maybe I am wrong for saying that  )
> 
> Basically, chubby and up.  So say... 180 and beyond? I can't really use numbers as for one thing it doesn't seem right to me for whatever reasons. Admittedly I would prefer to be with? a woman significantly heavier than 180 because I'm a stupid chauvinist male pig and this guy down here likes a lot of woman, but I would still be happy with a "smaller BBW" or whatever one would call such a woman. I hate terminology. Can't I just call you all women, and you just call me a man (or a lost little boy pretending to be one)?


How do you feel about 257 and short, monkey?


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## The Weatherman (Mar 31, 2006)

Actually, for the most part, I'm a big fan of mBBW (moderate BBW, lol). I find fat women who maintain the 'female figure' to be quite attractive, and many women in the 240-300 range fit that bill--they have very nice, soft, rolly bellies, but not so much that it overshadows a curvy figure... that's just my preference, and the way I explain it to myself.

Yay for mBBW! (and mRNA, for that matter...)


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## dragorat (Mar 31, 2006)

My love is for BBW period no matter their size or weight. As long as they don't fit society's norm & are some what happy & confident in themselves thet's fine by me!...


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## Tad (Mar 31, 2006)

I'm attracted to a broad range of sizes. 

As much as anything I'd say I like certain types of figures or proportions, and I see that most commonly in mid-sized BBW. I would guess that for me something like size 22-24 would be the sweet spot where I'm most apt to really notice a woman (that range assumes average height), but I've seen plenty of whiplash-inducingly gals both lighter and heavier than that. Confidence, good posture, and a smile can count more than 100 pounds either way. But overall, yah, I'd say MSBBW are probably about my ideal.

Mind you, that is all a moot point, because whatever the scenery is like I'm still stickng with the one I've already got  She may barely register as a BBW anymore, but love counts far more than weight.

-Ed


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## GWARrior (Apr 1, 2006)

this thread makes me happy


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## SoVerySoft (Apr 1, 2006)

Jes said:


> I've felt this too, boobookitty. I'm 250--well, I WAS, but I just gained 8 or 10 lbs.



Wow, one meal at Harold's really shows on you!! :shocked:


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## Jes (Apr 1, 2006)

SoVerySoft said:


> Wow, one meal at Harold's really shows on you!! :shocked:


Hahah. It DOES! I ate all of your cake--all 12 pcs. In one sitting.


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## Moonchild (Apr 1, 2006)

In my opinion, the ideal weight for a woman falls somewhere in that 240-300 range.


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## Jes (Apr 1, 2006)

well, I hereby move (while sitting still--I think I broke my big toe by having a very heavy piece of pottery fall on it today at the sale I ran) that we have a MSBBW FanClub. Lipmix (what's her nick again?) will be CEO. Or something. I guess we need an FA as the CEO. Well, whatever. Is my motion seconded by a MSBBW or Fan?


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## lipmixgirl (Apr 1, 2006)

i hereby form the msbbw fan club! i, lipmixgirl, will serve as president and jes will serve as V.P. 

do we have any fa's who wanna join the board?!?!?!?!


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## HailToTheKing (Apr 2, 2006)

What concerns me is people's labelling of things continually! What's sexy around here with the ladies is the attitude toward life - and if we label them whatever - be it BBW, SSBBW, mBBW (wtf?!!?) they're all sexy... I like it when I take a girl our for a big dinner and she chows it down and wants more - now that's living!  

Feel free to flame here...


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## Jes (Apr 2, 2006)

HailToTheKing said:


> What concerns me is people's labelling of things continually! What's sexy around here with the ladies is the attitude toward life - and if we label them whatever - be it BBW, SSBBW, mBBW (wtf?!!?) they're all sexy... I like it when I take a girl our for a big dinner and she chows it down and wants more - now that's living!
> 
> Feel free to flame here...


I'll speak for myself only, here and answer you from my frame of reference: i've been asked to label myself by others and then, when I give an answer they don't so much like, they're not interested. So just like many people are trying to take back the word fat, I suspect others are trying to own the terms THEY prefer and that they feel fit them ('apple,' 'midsized,' etc.)

And now, i'm going to go and have some ice cold chocolate milk.


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## Angel (Apr 3, 2006)

The Weatherman said:


> Actually, for the most part, I'm a big fan of mBBW (moderate BBW, lol). I find fat women who maintain the 'female figure' to be quite attractive, and many women in the 240-300 range fit that bill--they have very nice, soft, rolly bellies, but not so much that it overshadows a curvy figure... that's just my preference, and the way I explain it to myself.
> 
> Yay for mBBW! (and mRNA, for that matter...)




You know something........  

I _am_ a *FAT* woman. I _am_ way *above* the 240-300 pound range. I _have_ a curvy figure. I _am_ attractive and guess what...

I *DO* have a "female figure" !

What do you think, that after a woman exceeds 300 pounds that she no longer has or maintains a feminine or female figure?????

Nothing wrong with preferring moderate sized BBWs if that's your thing... but that does *not* mean that those of us above 300 have unattractive non-female figures!


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## ThatFatGirl (Apr 3, 2006)

The Weatherman said:


> Actually, for the most part, I'm a big fan of mBBW (moderate BBW, lol). I find fat women who maintain the 'female figure' to be quite attractive, and many women in the 240-300 range fit that bill--they have very nice, soft, rolly bellies, but not so much that it overshadows a curvy figure... that's just my preference, and the way I explain it to myself.
> 
> Yay for mBBW! (and mRNA, for that matter...)



Forgive me if I'm being picky, but why don't you just say you like hourglass shaped women? Or hourglass shaped women _under 300lbs..._

I am extra fat, easily 100 lbs over your preference, with a "rolly" belly, and curves for days if I do say so myself.  I don't think anyone would say I lack a "female figure." 

Would you say the Venus of Willendorf hasn't maintained a female figure? As a real woman, she's probably a good 350lbs, an SSBBW... Her shape may not be your cup of tea, but she _is_ the ultimate female and she is _all_ curves.

I'm with the King... all the labels are tiresome. Live life, be happy whatever your size. All are welcome and admired here.


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## FreeThinker (Apr 3, 2006)

I was attracted to my 'midsize' (by *lipmixgirl*'s definition) girlfriend based on an admiration not only of her appearance, but of her sense of humour, intellect, abilities, and many other factors.

(We were in a position to notice these aspects of each other before we 'met')

Were she to weigh much more or much less, I would still find her attractive. And would still love her.

Because of the coincidence of her being 'mid-sized', I am a _de facto_ 'mid-size BBW lover'.

I don't think *lipmixgirl* was trying to be exclusionary (exclusionistic?  ) about such matters. More likely than not, I think she perceived a trend toward a certain body type, and just wanted to know if this was the kind of place where someone of her stature would also be found attractive.

I think it is.

This community is about size-acceptance after all. Not exclusively super-size-acceptance, slightly-larger-than-average-size-acceptance, or even mid-size-acceptance.

"Where is the love for the msbbw?"

Wrapped up in the love for the _person_.

...


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## herin (Apr 3, 2006)

Free Thinker, you read my mind! Thanks for the excellent post.


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## Ivy (Apr 4, 2006)

Lots of the dudes here have love for the midsize fatties.. I'm a midsize bbw and get plenty of love from the dudes here.

Oh shit, now I sound like a slut. I didn't mean it that way, really.:doh:


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## la_fille_dodue (Apr 4, 2006)

Preach on sister!
I 100% agree with you. I weigh 320, am an apple, 24-28 and man... If you're not an SSBBW or a BBW it pretty much sucks.

(Yeah, I know I'm married, but since I'm poly I think I have a right to be miffed)


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## The Fat Man (Apr 4, 2006)

My girlfriend is around 240, perfect in my opinion.. me personally I fantasize about bigger, but mid size is really what I'm attracted to.


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## tjw1971 (Apr 4, 2006)

I'm not so much fixated on a woman being in a particular "size category", but I know that as a rule - I prefer my women thicker and curvier. Plus, for some reason, I find it a real turn-on when a woman weighs a considerable amount. (EG. If I saw a woman that looked really large, but she was much lighter than she appeared - I'd find that sort of a negative. By contrast, I've also found it very sexy when a woman doesn't look that big at all, but is amazingly "solid" and weighs a lot more than I would have guessed.)

I'm not sure if this makes any sense or not, but *in a very general sense*, I'd probably summarize that I usually lean towards an attraction to a smallish to mid-sized BBW, at least at first sight - because they're most likely to meet most or all of those little things that turn me on (thick/chunky, considerably heavy, yet may weigh more than it looks like they do).

On the other hand, some of the super-sized BBW's out there have beautiful bodies and faces too, and I'm impressed and turned on by their sheer size, while remaining so pretty.

I don't so much have an issue with "labeling" - because I think it's simply human nature to label and categorize everything. Why do you think we have scientists putting every single plant, flower and animal into very specific categories, and we spend so much on such things as "closet organizers", or even database software to index our music collections on our computers, or you name it? I just think it's important to be open-minded enough not to limit oneself to "only liking" people that fit neatly under one label.


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## FatAndProud (Apr 4, 2006)

Duuuuuude, what is the definition of SSBBW if 250-300lbs is mssbbw? or whatever? 

Gosh, Fat appreciation is so complicated! :doh:


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## The Weatherman (Apr 5, 2006)

The Fat Man said:


> My girlfriend is around 240, perfect in my opinion.. me personally I fantasize about bigger, but mid size is really what I'm attracted to.



For a lot of people that might not make sense, but I completely feel you! I couldn't have put it better.


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## pickleman357 (Apr 6, 2006)

lipmixgirl said:


> since joining the site, i have come to the conclusion thus far that the guys are either really into the "sbbw" small bbw or the ssbbw... where is the love for the midsize bbw???
> those of us who are between 240-300 lbs??? sizes 22-30????



Well, I'm dating one. She's not quite that heavy, but she is only 5'2" so she's in that size range. She's so beautiful and wonderful. *daydreams about her* :wubu:


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## ThatFatGirl (Apr 7, 2006)

The Fat Man said:


> My girlfriend is around 240, perfect in my opinion.. me personally I fantasize about bigger, but mid size is really what I'm attracted to.





The Weatherman said:


> For a lot of people that might not make sense, but I completely feel you! I couldn't have put it better.



Someone please explain to me... I'm in the "I don't get it" category. If you're fantasizing about bigger girls, doesn't that mean you're attracted? And if so, why not date larger girls? It seems like you're saying in not so many words that big girls are OK in fantasy, but not real life. Please correct me if I'm wrong.


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## pickleman357 (Apr 7, 2006)

ThatFatGirl said:


> Someone please explain to me... I'm in the "I don't get it" category. If you're fantasizing about bigger girls, doesn't that mean you're attracted? And if so, why not date larger girls? It seems like you're saying in not so many words that big girls are OK in fantasy, but not real life. Please correct me if I'm wrong.



Its kinda simple and yet its not. Basically put, it is posible to have too much of a good thing.

Fat is beautiful, it feels wonderful, it just amazing to me. Because that's what I prefer. However, a fat woman, is fat 24/7. She has to carry it around with her everywhere. Shopping, bed, getting dressed, bathroom, etc. So you do feel bad about that, especially in the higher weights like 400+

So there has to be balance, because I do not find thin women sexually attractive, but I don't want to burden a woman just to fill my sexual need.

Big enough to be big, but not big enough to be overly hindered.

My g/f pulls this off really well........ YES! *victory dance!*  :smitten:


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## ThatFatGirl (Apr 7, 2006)

pickleman357 said:


> Its kinda simple and yet its not. Basically put, it is posible to have too much of a good thing.
> 
> Fat is beautiful, it feels wonderful, it just amazing to me. Because that's what I prefer. However, a fat woman, is fat 24/7. She has to carry it around with her everywhere. Shopping, bed, getting dressed, bathroom, etc. So you do feel bad about that, especially in the higher weights like 400+
> 
> ...



Uhh... well, many of us are fat already. You would be bestowing no burdens upon us except perhaps your misguided notion that 400+ pound women can't take care of themselves. Some of us are quite functional. You might be surprised.

I still don't get that someone can say they have a preference for smaller women, fantasize about larger, but essentially admit that they wouldn't want to be involved with an ssbbw as stated previously above..

*Thank goodness for true FAs!!*


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## pickleman357 (Apr 7, 2006)

ThatFatGirl said:


> Uhh... well, many of us are fat already. You would be bestowing no burdens upon us except perhaps your misguided notion that 400+ pound women can't take care of themselves. Some of us are quite functional. You might be surprised.
> 
> I still don't get that someone can say they have a preference for smaller women, fantasize about larger, but essentially admit that they wouldn't want to be involved with an ssbbw as stated previously above..
> 
> *Thank goodness for true FAs!!*



I never ment to say that very large women can't take care of themselves. But what do you think would happen if I asked a 5'2" tall woman who was 400+ to run a 20km marathon with me? _(Just as an extreme example  )_

And I know a lot of women are fat already, trust me, I've noticed  
And I know that some/most (not sure how many) of them are happy with their size. And the more confident the better. There's nothing quite like a fat woman who's happy to be fat. :wubu: 

But, what do you mean by "bestowing no burdens upon us"?
Or... what do you think I ment? I think something was missed.


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## ThatFatGirl (Apr 7, 2006)

pickleman357 said:


> So there has to be balance, because I do not find thin women sexually attractive, but I don't want to burden a woman just to fill my sexual need.



Perhaps I need help interpreting that?


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## GWARrior (Apr 7, 2006)

I am just all kinds of confused :doh:


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## Angel (Apr 7, 2006)

Simple explanation:

Fat women, those being 400 pound plus SSBBW. These woman are, and have been this fat for quite some time. This is their natural size. They may not be as physically fit as a woman weighing 150 pounds, but they have adjusted to doing things and living a fulfilling and happy life at whatever their current weight may be. They are confident beautiful women.

Some so-called FAs view these women as attractive, and the FAs may even fantasize about being with them. These so-called FAs think it is fine to fantasize about and masturbate while viewing photos of such women. They might even go as far as to seek a *I don't want anyone to ever know I did such a thing* sexual *I want to experience being with a SSBBW just once in my lifetime* one night stand. 

These so-called self-proclaiming FAs will make up every kind of excuse in the world as to why they do not "prefer" SSBBWs and as to why they would not want to be in a real relationship with a SSBBW. The bottom line is that these so-called self-proclaiming FAs are immature and would be ashamed for their friends or family to ever know that they find such an abundant SSBBW attractive. They will objectify a SSBBW for their own sexual gratification but they will never consider having a relationship with such a woman. They are cowards.

It is fine to have a preference. On the other hand, there are men who fantasize about women whom they would never want to be *caught or seen* with, and then these men make childish excuses by trying to place the fault on the women. With maturity comes acceptance (of others as they are) and responsibility. Responsibility includes owning up to ones thoughts, guilts, and mistakes without trying to place personal guilt or blame on another. 

Some so-called self-proclaiming FAs seem to forget that SSBBWs are real women with feelings who do indeed live and exist on a daily basis just as they do. So what if these SSBBWs cannot do everything a 150 pound woman can. People, including SSBBWs, learn to adjust to whatever situation they are in. Life is about living and making the most of whatever circumstances you find yourself in. Thank God there are some *mature* men and some *real and true* FAs who realize this and appreciate SSBBWs for *all* that they are.


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## ThatFatGirl (Apr 7, 2006)

Thanks, Angel... This is _exactly_ what was on my mind. I'd like to hear one of them explain differently if we've got it wrong.

I'll rep you when I get my repping abilities back.


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## FreeThinker (Apr 7, 2006)

ThatFatGirl said:
 

> Someone please explain to me... I'm in the "I don't get it" category. If you're fantasizing about bigger girls, doesn't that mean you're attracted? And if so, why not date larger girls? It seems like you're saying in not so many words that big girls are OK in fantasy, but not real life. Please correct me if I'm wrong.


I have found women much larger and much smaller than my girlfriend to be very attractive, but it is _her_ that I love.


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## ThatFatGirl (Apr 7, 2006)

FreeThinker said:


> I have found women much larger and much smaller than my girlfriend to be very attractive, but it is _her_ that I love.



I got that from your previous posts, Free.. my question wasn't so much directed to you as it was the Weatherman.


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## Waikikian (Apr 7, 2006)

Some of us like the fuller female form in all of its sizes. Even a petite girl who has grown very slightly plump can accelerate the heart rate of many FAs. To some extent the collective admiration of really big beauties on this site represents our collective hope for a world in which everyone can feel comfortable in his or her own skin. A happily married man, whose wife weighs 200 pounds and hates herself for it, who must censor his compliments, even in the bedroom, for fear of triggering self-loathing by his bride, may be filled with hope when he sees a Dimensions poster of 400 pounds beaming as she looks out over a ballooning belly. The high-end BBWs represent not only their own beauty but a better world for all of us, but in that better world many of us would be entirely content in the arms of mid-sized big beauties.


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## pickleman357 (Apr 7, 2006)

Angel said:


> These so-called self-proclaiming FAs will make up every kind of excuse in the world as to why they do not "prefer" SSBBWs and as to why they would not want to be in a real relationship with a SSBBW. The bottom line is that these so-called self-proclaiming FAs are immature and would be ashamed for their friends or family to ever know that they find such an abundant SSBBW attractive. They will objectify a SSBBW for their own sexual gratification but they will never consider having a relationship with such a woman. They are cowards.



Okay... speaking as a self-proclaimed FA, who finds SSBBWs sexy, but perfers more mid-sized fat women, I'm going to have to take the opposition here.

If my g/f was 400lbs, I would not be ashamed of her in front of friends and family. She is my choice to be with, and if you don't like it, what's it matter? She's my g/f and not yours!

Before I say the next part, I totally, 100% agree with you on this.


> Fat women, those being 400 pound plus SSBBW. These woman are, and have been this fat for quite some time. This is their natural size. They may not be as physically fit as a woman weighing 150 pounds, but they have adjusted to doing things and living a fulfilling and happy life at whatever their current weight may be. They are confident beautiful women.


Totally agree and understand what you're saying.... but;

Now what if I wanted to do things with her, but she couldn't because of her weight? What if I wanted to do *a lot *things wtih her that she can't join me in, because of her weight?
What kind of relationship would that be? Yes, we can go and do the things that she likes. But I would be alone doing the things I like... so my entire interaction with her would just to keep her happy. 
Our lives would be eat, sleep, work, sex. I believe that I would feel that I'm just using her for sex and that would be objectifying her.

Am I really a coward for prefering a woman I can do a lot of things with, outside of the bed room?

I don't want to sound shallow. I mean part of the wedding vow I plan to make with my g/f is "In sickness or in health". I love her so much, that even if she became physical hindered in what ever way (God forbid) that I would still love her as much as I did before. 

If she was 400lbs, I probably would still be with her.
The right woman, is the right woman. I love her more for who she is, then what she is, and that's final.
But... I still have my preferences.


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## The Weatherman (Apr 8, 2006)

ThatFatGirl said:


> Forgive me if I'm being picky, but why don't you just say you like hourglass shaped women? Or hourglass shaped women _under 300lbs..._
> 
> I am extra fat, easily 100 lbs over your preference, with a "rolly" belly, and curves for days if I do say so myself.  I don't think anyone would say I lack a "female figure."
> 
> ...



Yeah, I think you are being picky! I was just answering the question posed... the weights given in the question were 240-300, so that's what I used. Of course I realize that they are completely arbitrary. Please don't confuse me with one of those FAs who get hung up on weights and measures, because I really find that repellent and I don't do that.

I think you may have misunderstood what I was saying. There is generally a correlation between weight and body shape, but that correlation is very general... it's a general trend, like how men are generally taller than women, or women generally live longer than men. But plenty of women are taller than me, and plenty of men live past 100. So I'm just talking statistically. Yes, I think there's nothing more visually alluring than a fat woman with an hourglass figure. If she's 160 or 360 pounds, I don't really care. But weight-wise, she will generally fall near the arbitrary range mentioned in the start of the thread.

Oh, and it's not like I will exclusively pursue such hourglass figures. I have a lot of fantasies about all kinds of fat women, but when it comes to real life, personality matters about infinity times more than any of that. Fantasies are fantasies, and I'm just explaining what comes closest to my fantasies. The only women I couldn't possibly date are rail-thin ones, because as much as I might like them as a person, regrettably I can never find an ounce of sexual attraction for them. I wish it wasn't so, because I have fallen romantically for some amazing women who happened to be thin, but alas there was no sexual attraction. I don't think that makes me insensitive. I just have to admit to that physiological reality.

I hope that reply makes sense.


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## pickleman357 (Apr 8, 2006)

That reminds me... I'm not hung up on numbers either. 

I just use 400lbs cause you can relate to it. But if a 400lbs woman can still do all the things i want to do, I'd be completely happy with her. even if she was 600. 
The issue for me is, how does her weight effect what she can and can't do
That's it.


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## Airling (Apr 8, 2006)

ataraxia said:


> Right here.
> 
> (And most likely, all about this place.)


Aaaaaaaaaaaand here.


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## The Weatherman (Apr 8, 2006)

ThatFatGirl said:


> Someone please explain to me... I'm in the "I don't get it" category. If you're fantasizing about bigger girls, doesn't that mean you're attracted? And if so, why not date larger girls? It seems like you're saying in not so many words that big girls are OK in fantasy, but not real life. Please correct me if I'm wrong.



No, that's not what I meant at all! I would have no problem dating an SSBBW. All this stuff about what's in my fantasies and what my ideal sexual experience would be pales in comparison to the awesome feeling of being in a relationship with a PERSON who I truly care about.

OK, let me try to build an argument...

-I am firmly convinced that 'msbbws' on the whole, suffer no more health problems than the general population. Both my grandmothers were msbbws and they lived healthy, active lives into their 80s.

-That said, once you move into the ssbbw range, especially over 450 lbs or thereabouts (again, just a number, a rough estimate, take it with a grain of salt), serious health problems often arise.

OK, now I'm thinking ThatFatGirl might be on to something...

because if I'm attracted to such women, should I not date them, and be there for them with comfort and support if their health takes a turn for the worse? I mean, honestly, not many people are FAs, and even fewer are willing to date ssbbw's in this culture. If I'm attracted, and she's a nice person, I should go ahead and start a relationship.

But then I must ask: is there any moral obligation I have to become romantically involved with anyone? Isn't that my free choice? Do I need to give a reason as to why or why not I am interested in someone? Last time I was dumped, no reason was given, and I didn't have any moral qualms with it.


The fact is, like I keep repeating, in real life, all these nitpicking aspects of fantasies go out the window, because they don't matter when you meet someone you really like. For me, there's a strong difference between romantic and sexual attraction, and when given the choice, I will always choose the girl I'm more romantically attracted to. Does she make me laugh? Is she the kind of person who I think about all day? Do I rush home from work to call her and talk to her for hours about mundane details of the day? Do I feel like there's no place I'd rather be than in her arms? Do I genuinely care when she feels sad, or insecure, or frustrated? Does her voice ring with those intangibles that just melt my insides? That's what I look for, first and foremost. Yes, ove the years I've realized that she has to have 'some' fat, because sex is important too, and I just find nothing attractive about rail-thin girls. But fat comes in an incredibly wide array of shapes and sizes, and if she does all the stuff I asked in those rhetorical questions above, then as long as I can consider her 'fat' in some way, it's all good.

Whatever. This is a very complicated issue. ThatFatGirl, please respond! Your questions are forcing me to examine myself, and I really appreciate it.


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## AnnMarie (Apr 8, 2006)

pickleman357 said:


> Okay... speaking as a self-proclaimed FA, who finds SSBBWs sexy, but perfers more mid-sized fat women, I'm going to have to take the opposition here.
> 
> If my g/f was 400lbs, I would not be ashamed of her in front of friends and family. She is my choice to be with, and if you don't like it, what's it matter? She's my g/f and not yours!
> 
> ...




I guess it depends on what you're talking about doing, or enjoying, and why those things might HAVE to be done together. Let me be clear, I'm NOT starting a fight here, just another side of the coin. 

I've dated lots guys who do stuff that I don't want to do... it has nothing to do with my size, it's just not something I'm interested in. On the flip side, I do things that they do not enjoy, so I do those things with people who do.

If I dated a guy who was totally into rock climbing, I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't do it because I don't want to, and a side issue is that if I did want to do it, I wouldn't be able to physically. 

My point being, there are lots of things couples don't do together, and while you didn't give examples of things you fear the "400lbs" woman can't do (I'm one of them), but I do everything "normal" people do... go out, see movies, hang out with friends, grab dinner, travel, etc. 

If you're someone (meaning YOU in a general sense) that is a sports enthusiast and expects your partner to do all of those activities with you, if you find someone who's THAT into all that stuff as well, she probably won't be that big of a girl anyway, so it's not an issue. 

So yeah, there have to be interests that go outside, but those can be cultural, social, travel, etc... they don't all require something that would be super physically demanding and exclude a larger partner.


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## The Weatherman (Apr 8, 2006)

pickleman357 said:


> That reminds me... I'm not hung up on numbers either.
> 
> I just use 400lbs cause you can relate to it. But if a 400lbs woman can still do all the things i want to do, I'd be completely happy with her. even if she was 600.
> The issue for me is, how does her weight effect what she can and can't do
> That's it.




What do you mean, "what she can and can't do?" If you're talking about in bed... from the dimensions home page, you can link to "fat sex positions" which is quite detailed. Basically, fat is rarely if ever a problem in bed, mechanically speaking.

Otherwise, I assume you're talking about mobility, seating, etc. I know some FAs are aroused by limited mobility, but I just find it kind of depressing. I hate to see someone struggle just to walk up stairs... I wish it didn't happen that way, but it does. I know if I loved someone, though, I would be there for them if their mobility seriously got in the way of their life.

Issues of seating (restaurants, theaters, airplanes, etc.) just piss me off because those places should be more accommodating, period.




If it's health, then I'll just ask the question (I really don't know the answer and would love to hear from lots of other people on this): is it morally wrong to let health issues scare you away from a desireable ssbbw?


edit: pickleman, sorry I didn't see your post about this in more detail. What kind of 'stuff' are you talking about that an ssbbw couldn't do?
I know I'm a pretty 'in-shape' guy, just because I need to be to go backpacking in the mountains, which I absolutely love to do. I mean, you really can't be carrying ANY extra weight if you want to see the good stuff and have a great adventure, which I do. So I know that I probably won't be doing that with a bbw/ssbbw girlfriend. It would be a cool experience to share with my love, but eh, there's plenty of other stuff we can do. I can always go backpacking with some of my awesome friends. That's the way I see it.

edit to my edit: (I really should read all the posts before posting, lol): I saw what AM said about the rock climbing guy she dated, and that's pretty much a perfect way to deal with it. Very sane.


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## ripley (Apr 8, 2006)

The Weatherman said:


> -That said, once you move into the ssbbw range, especially over 450 lbs or thereabouts (again, just a number, a rough estimate, take it with a grain of salt), serious health problems often arise.
> 
> I mean, honestly, not many people are FAs, and even fewer are willing to date ssbbw's in this culture. If I'm attracted, and she's a nice person, I should go ahead and start a relationship.
> 
> Otherwise, I assume you're talking about mobility, seating, etc. I know some FAs are aroused by limited mobility, but I just find it kind of depressing. I hate to see someone struggle just to walk up stairs... I wish it didn't happen that way, but it does.


This _thread _is depressing. I feel just about undatable, reading it. It sucks to me that the lifestyle that supports me being fat (or just the volume of fat itself) is counter not only to what society desires but to what a large number of FAs desire, apparently. 

Maybe the "mid-size" woman is the way to go. She gets around better, society is less against her, she (supposedly) has less health problems...

I feel my hope for a boyfriend dwindling.


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## MisticalMisty (Apr 8, 2006)

ripley said:


> This _thread _is depressing. I feel just about undatable, reading it. It sucks to me that the lifestyle that supports me being fat (or just the volume of fat itself) is counter not only to what society desires but to what a large number of FAs desire, apparently.
> 
> Maybe the "mid-size" woman is the way to go. She gets around better, society is less against her, she (supposedly) has less health problems...
> 
> I feel my hope for a boyfriend dwindling.



Honestly Ripley, I think some of the guys need a lesson to what a fa really is and how they should handle themselves and deal with the women around them.

Furthermore, if this is their stand, I'd rather be single then date anyone that says they don't want to date a ssbbw because of my health issues *I'm healthy as a horse besides some menstrual problems* or my inability to do much things like walking up and down stairs *let's see, about the only real thing I can't do is ride a ride at an amusement park* 

You guys don't get it. A True, honest to fat fa will make concessions to be able to do something with his *OMG* over 400 lb girlfriend. I can do anything a thin girl can within moderation.

I can go hiking. Don't expect me to make it to the top of a mountain in a minute, but I'll make it eventually.

I can play sports, I can go to the mall, I can dance with the best of them, I can swim, I can boat, I can..well you get the picture.

A fa is supposed to be aware of the issues that fat girls face everyday and respond in a way that makes them comfortable. This means asking for a table instead of a booth, letting me make little stops to catch my breath when doing long distance walking etc.

I'm not saying a "midsize bbw" doesn't deserve a fa. I'm not saying a ssbbw deserves one more either. I'm saying that we deserve FAs that truly understand the meaning of the term and the conditions needed to function daily with his fat girl.

GOOD GRAVY


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## Moonchild (Apr 8, 2006)

I've gotta side with The Weatherman and Pickleman here. I think they're being taken way out of context over and over again.

In general, I have a preference for a mid-sized BBW and I do not apologize for it. Of course I would not be opposed to dating an SSBBW any more than I'd be opposed to dating a thin woman (which is a negligible amount of opposition). Honestly, I think some women look their best at low weights, some at very, very high weights, but most fall somewhere around the lower end of the spectrum described in the first post. In my first post in this thread I said that range was "ideal," but that was a mistake because for me, there is no ideal because I think perfection fluctuates from person to person.

The opinions of others' has absolutely nothing to do with me leaning away from SSBBW's. I do not fear the judgment of my friends because I do not make friends of judgmental people.

Health is a HUGE issue with me. Misty, you said you're in nearly perfect health. That's great, it really is, and I'm really happy to hear that, and for me, that would be a major issue totally taken care of, and I'm sure it would be for all the other FA's who have posted in this thread. Unfortunately, such is not the case for everyone. I would rather have a woman do anything other than lose weight to improve her health if at all possible, and in many cases it is. A lot of times it's not. There are multitudes of very fat women that are perfectly healthy, but there are more that are not, and in a thread that is based on generalizations, those posting are taking these problems into account as they affect their opinions.

I don't think it should be heald against anyone if they want to continue to be active along with their significant other. Once again, Misty, you are not the typical large woman when it comes to this - not many people of size that I know would be willing to go hiking like that. Personally, I like to do that sort of thing without moderation, but it's not a big issue because it's something I'm alright with leaving a girlfriend at home for, but if that's something important to someone else he shouldn't be faulted for it.

I don't understand why some people seem to be offended by others' preferences. Should skinny girls be offended that they are not my ideal? It's the way the dice rolled, there's nothing I can do about it. If I could choose, I would rather see no beauty than descriminate, but nobody ever gave me that option.

Of course a loving FA would make concessions. But that's not what this thread is about. It's about ideals. Funny how it started because a MSBBW felt left out, and now it seems to be the other way around.

@Ripley - you should never feel undatable for anything related to your body, because that's nothing that should matter to anyone worth dating. But, that generic age-old nobody cares advice aside, let me assure you that women of size are by no means unwanted in the least.

[edit] Oh, and on a side note... On an individual case-by-case statistical basis I have a tendency to fall for below average weight girls. It's a personality thing.


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## The Weatherman (Apr 8, 2006)

Moonchild, as usual I agree with everything you said. I couldn't have put it better myself.

Ripley and Misty: as Moonchild said, this thread is about ideals. The fact is, my ideal women does not exist in real life. Nobody's does. That's why they are called "fantasies." Every woman in the world will have some quirk in her personality that irks me from time to time. Every woman will have something about her body that isn't absolutely ideal in my eyes. Do I care? Hell no. My standards are not impossibly high. I would hope that all you women out there would have the maturity to look at the situation realistically, and realize that you are not perfect. If you expect to come to this site and have guys tell you that you are absolutely perfect, then you are looking in vain, and if anyone tells you that, they are deceitful liars who probably have some ulterior motive.

Ripley and Misty, your size would be absolutely no reason for me not to date you. If you don't want to date me because you're worried that I'm worried about your possible health issues, fine. Nobody's forcing you to date anyone. That's the great thing about dating--it's your choice; you should never feel pressured into dating anyone. But if I genuinely cared about you, I would definitely worry about your health; I don't think I could bring myself to love a part of you that might be killing you (yes that's blunt but why beat around the bush). I think one of the main problems about this site is that nobody talks about health issues; it's like the elephant in the middle of the living room that nobody acknowledges.

Misty and Ripley, I'm glad to hear you're both in good health. You realize I was just talking generally, I hope--why I GENERALLY prefer msbbw over ssbbw. But Misty, if you're really as active as you say you are, well, the first thing that comes to my mind is, "wow, that's really hot." lol 
I think it would be great, great fun to dance energetically with an ssbbw I really cared about.

I wish you girls would pay more attention to all the caveats that me, and Moonchild, and Pickleman always make sure to throw into our posts: that who you are matters WAY more than what you look like or your health situation. Maybe we don't mention it enough because we take it for granted, and so there's not much to say about how personality matters more to us. All this other stuff about weights, measures, sizes, health, body shape, etc., is just hammering out details of our fantasies. If any woman generally feels hurt when a guy says that she is not his ideal fantasy, I assume she has serious self-esteem issues, because you can never be happy with yourself if you hold yourself up to the standard of perfection.


originally posted by Angel:

Some so-called FAs view these women as attractive, and the FAs may even fantasize about being with them. These so-called FAs think it is fine to fantasize about and masturbate while viewing photos of such women. They might even go as far as to seek a *I don't want anyone to ever know I did such a thing* sexual *I want to experience being with a SSBBW just once in my lifetime* one night stand.

These so-called self-proclaiming FAs will make up every kind of excuse in the world as to why they do not "prefer" SSBBWs and as to why they would not want to be in a real relationship with a SSBBW. The bottom line is that these so-called self-proclaiming FAs are immature and would be ashamed for their friends or family to ever know that they find such an abundant SSBBW attractive. They will objectify a SSBBW for their own sexual gratification but they will never consider having a relationship with such a woman. They are cowards.


--end quote

Angel, I find it offensive that you think you know what's in my mind. I don't give a damn what others think of who I date. Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind, right? But if I date an ssbbw, I'd be mortified that she might get sick and die any day. Sleep apnea freaks me out... it's really scary.


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## AnnMarie (Apr 8, 2006)

I think a lot of good discussion was generated here, but it's another reason why we typically stay away from posts that require voting or holding up/out one ideal over another. 

Someone always takes it personally/to heart/wrong and feelings get hurt. This thread was started, as Moonchild pointed out, by someone who felt slighted or overlooked in some way due to being mid-sized - and now there are ss girls who feel the same because a few guys came forward and said they dug the mid-sized girls. 

If a SS girl starts a similar thread about who likes her, we'll be back to smaller chicks feeling left out... do we get it _yet_?? There are TONS of guys who like all different kinds of fat girls-small, middle, ss, and even larger.... no worries, there's plenty to go around, and the more you try to get everyone to jump into one flag waving group, the more people feel isolated for no real reason.


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## The Weatherman (Apr 8, 2006)

Oh man AM I can't rep you but that's the sanest thing ever said on these boards, I think. The most important thing to remember is something that my friend Darius said: "_everyone_ is sexy in _someone's_ eyes."


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## MisticalMisty (Apr 8, 2006)

The Weatherman said:


> But if I date an ssbbw, I'd be mortified that she might get sick and die any day. Sleep apnea freaks me out... it's really scary.



This is what really irks me about your posts in this thread. EVERYONE will eventually die. Every person, no matter what weight they are have health issues. You can date a girl at 240 and she could develop any number of diseases..or someone at 105 or someone at 600. Health issues aren't for just the fattest of the group.
You are generalizing that ssbbws are all in bad health and that's not the case and that is what makes me angry.

FYI anyone can get sleep apnea. More thin people than fat generally have issues with things such as blood pressure, etc.

As for preferences, I don't care what size of woman you like..that wasn't my beef. My beef was that some of the guys in this thread were generalizing ssbbws to be people who can't live a normal life and it seems THAT was the reason they didn't want to date them. THAT'S what got my panties in a wad. I don't like the generalizations occuring in this thread..they aren't fair to anyone..especially the ssbbws who are living quite normal lives.


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## ThatFatGirl (Apr 8, 2006)

My argument - as it was in the beginning - is that there are a few men here saying ssbbws are great to fantasize about, but they wouldn't want to date one... YES, absolutely date the girl whose personality you're most attracted to, whatever size she might be, but some of you are saying in the same post that fear of extra fat girl problems would make you stay away from them. So we're ok to fantasize fucking, but nothing more. 

Weatherman, no one wants to talk about health here? We talk about health all over the place and several of us have requested a health forum be added to this site. 

I agree there is someone out there for everyone... thank God for that. 

I appreciate my FA boyfriend more than ever after reading this thread. I can't even begin to say how much.


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## ataraxia (Apr 8, 2006)

I take each person as they come. What good does it do to make generalizations which can't be used for anything?

As military types say, plans last until you actually meet the enemy.


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## ripley (Apr 9, 2006)

Okay, first off, I didn't have hurt feelings. Anyone can have any preference in their adult partner that they want and it's A-OK with me. I'm sorry if anyone felt that I was attacking that. I didn't mean my post to be a flame. More like a whine, lol.

I guess I just feel marginalized in terms of dating a lot anyway, and this just made me feel more so.

I don't like the thought that I'm too much of a drag to date. That _possible _health problems down the road keep someone from asking me to the movies this weekend. 

Okay, on with your thread, I am sorry to hijack. I'll try to behave from now on. Within reason.


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## Mikey (Apr 9, 2006)

All things considered...if I had my drothers, I'd rather date a supersized woman, pear or hour-glass figured preferably. That said, its all about chemistry...in the end the packaging is the intial attraction, but emotional and intellectual chemistry is what makes the relationship to me. I am looking for a full partner, not just a fantasy item. That said, I am long overdue for a relationship with a ssbbw...so ladies step up to the plate! I know you are out there somewhere!


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## bellylover (Apr 9, 2006)

AnnMarie said:


> I think a lot of good discussion was generated here, but it's another reason why we typically stay away from posts that require voting or holding up/out one ideal over another.
> 
> Someone always takes it personally/to heart/wrong and feelings get hurt. This thread was started, as Moonchild pointed out, by someone who felt slighted or overlooked in some way due to being mid-sized - and now there are ss girls who feel the same because a few guys came forward and said they dug the mid-sized girls.


I should have read this thread before I started the other one.:doh:


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## pickleman357 (Apr 9, 2006)

AnnMarie said:


> If I dated a guy who was totally into rock climbing, I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't do it because I don't want to, and a side issue is that if I did want to do it, I wouldn't be able to physically.
> 
> My point being, there are lots of things couples don't do together, and while you didn't give examples of things you fear the "400lbs" woman can't do (I'm one of them), but I do everything "normal" people do... go out, see movies, hang out with friends, grab dinner, travel, etc.
> 
> So yeah, there have to be interests that go outside, but those can be cultural, social, travel, etc... they don't all require something that would be super physically demanding and exclude a larger partner.



....hmmmm

You know, It just occured to me, that I haven't actually had the privilige to know a SSBBW. Every woman that I have known has been a MSBBW or less.
Also, my asumtions could be from my own personal experience. I gained 30lbs in the last year and my physical abilities (walking, running, etc) have been conciderablly hindered. I can't do 1/4 of the stuff I could do before! And my train of thought is; if and extra 30lbs makes a big flight of stairs a burden, what does an extra 300lbs make it?! 

However, am I glad I brought my concerns up, so that all you SSBBWs could tell me that I'm basically wrong.
I'm glad to be wrong!  

I think to sum up my concern in one line, it would be;
"Man she'd be great in bed, but how far could she walk before her ankles give out?"
That's kinda extreme, but its just to get my point across.  

Know what I'm saying? Or have I messed up my words again? :doh:


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## MisticalMisty (Apr 9, 2006)

pickleman357 said:


> I think to sum up my concern in one line, it would be;
> "Man she'd be great in bed, but how far could she walk before her ankles give out?"
> That's kinda extreme, but its just to get my point across.
> 
> Know what I'm saying? Or have I messed up my words again? :doh:




Definitely wrong answer..if I were you..I'd rethink it.

It may not be your intention..but that screams.."Man..I'd love to fuck her..but I'll be damned if I take her out of the house"


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## pickleman357 (Apr 9, 2006)

MisticalMisty said:


> Definitely wrong answer..if I were you..I'd rethink it.
> 
> It may not be your intention..but that screams.."Man..I'd love to fuck her..but I'll be damned if I take her out of the house"



Then yes, I've messed up my words. D'oh :doh: 

its not that I would never take her out of the house. Heck, I'd love to be hanging out with a a woman who's 3-4 times the woman compare to almost every other woman in the place!

But the father we walk from the house, the more concernd I would be about how much farther she _could _walk. A SSBBW is still a woman just like everyone else.. but she has hundreds of pounds she has to carry around everywhere she goes.
Yes, you have pointed that a SSBBW would probably be very used to her body and be able to do normal stuff "in moderation" as someone said.
But I would still be concerned!
Please say something to make this nagging thought go away!


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## MisticalMisty (Apr 9, 2006)

pickleman357 said:


> Then yes, I've messed up my words. D'oh :doh:
> 
> its not that I would never take her out of the house. Heck, I'd love to be hanging out with a a woman who's 3-4 times the woman compare to almost every other woman in the place!
> 
> ...



There's nothing to say to make it go away. It's about being open to making the small sacrifice of planning ahead. If you know you are going to be walking long distances and have a certain time you have to make it..give yourselves an extra hour..let her take a few moments to stop and catch her breath. We aren't talking rocket science. We aren't talking that you have to give up some sort of quality of life to be with a fat girl. We're talking making very small insignificant sacrifices..I mean..it won't kill you to ask for a table instead of a booth..it won't kill you to allow extra time or drop her off at the door instead of making her walk.

Maybe the nagging is some sort of guilt about how you really view fat women. I dunno. I don't know you well enough to answer that..


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## pickleman357 (Apr 9, 2006)

MisticalMisty said:


> There's nothing to say to make it go away. It's about being open to making the small sacrifice of planning ahead. If you know you are going to be walking long distances and have a certain time you have to make it..give yourselves an extra hour..let her take a few moments to stop and catch her breath. We aren't talking rocket science. We aren't talking that you have to give up some sort of quality of life to be with a fat girl. We're talking making very small insignificant sacrifices..I mean..it won't kill you to ask for a table instead of a booth..it won't kill you to allow extra time or drop her off at the door instead of making her walk.


You're right. You're absolutly right.
Now you make me feel like :doh: what was I thinking!
I want to give you reps but I've given you some recently...:doh: 



> Maybe the nagging is some sort of guilt about how you really view fat women. I dunno. I don't know you well enough to answer that..



I'm going to try and explain it, if I sound like an ass, its probably because I messed up the words;

We know that being fat, *can* cause health problems.
Now, a FA would probably encouage their woman to be fat. And a SSBBW is for a some a huge turn on.
So now what if this woman, dies because of a weight related helth issue?
From the FA's point of view, something that he adores, just killed the woman that he loved. IMO that would shatter the FA life, mind, and sexuality.  

And to me, that's really really scary. And I know that its rare and we all got to die some time... but its


> something that he adores, just killed the woman that he loved


that really freaks me out.


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## MisticalMisty (Apr 10, 2006)

pickleman357 said:


> You're right. You're absolutly right.
> Now you make me feel like :doh: what was I thinking!
> I want to give you reps but I've given you some recently...:doh:
> 
> ...



My point..and several other ladies' point has been that anyone..any size can have a health issue. When you are scared that a fat girl is going to get sick and die on you, you are buying into what society has tried to beat into our heads for years. This is a place that is trying to overturn those very sterotypes about fat. Fat isn't necessarily unhealthy. Granted, there are people they suffer from health issues and society would like us to believe they are caused by fat..but where is the SOLID evidence. For instance, a lady I know weighs maybe 120 dripping wet..she has Type 2 diabetes, cholestorl problems and recently had a heart attack. What caused her to get sick? There's not fat involved in her health issues.

That's what we are trying to convey to you guys...Please, PLEASE don't buy into society's sterotypes. Don't believe everything you read about fat and health issues. Don't settle for fantasizing about a ssbbw because you are scared that her fat will kill her. Unless she went from 125 to 400 lbs for you, her fat is her responsibility in a sense..not yours..there shouldn't be any guilt to feel.

The past few days of posts have made me sad. Not because I'm a ssbbw who feels left out..but because I'm a fat PERSON and it seems that this fat acceptance movement that so many people have worked so hard at....to overturn society's sterotypes has taken many steps back...

The new generation of "FAs" seem inidated with belief in the sterotypes..and that's what is really bothersome...Does this mean that we haven't made any real strides in the fat acceptance movement? What does it mean for the future of fat acceptance?


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## pickleman357 (Apr 10, 2006)

MisticalMisty said:


> Unless she went from 125 to 400 lbs for you, her fat is her responsibility in a sense..not yours..there shouldn't be any guilt to feel.



Again... totally right.

Well, that's the end of that nagging voice, thank you for killing it!

Now there's only one thing stoping me from dating a huge SSBBW...... I'm already taken! :doh:   

Misty, I really hope you find/have a guy that treats you very well, because you obviously deserve it!  

Cheers!


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## MisticalMisty (Apr 10, 2006)

pickleman357 said:


> Again... totally right.
> 
> Well, that's the end of that nagging voice, thank you for killing it!
> 
> ...



 I'm glad that the nagging voice went away and I appreciate your kindness. I'm glad we were able to have a civil conversation  Keep your posts coming..I enjoy reading them.


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## Russ2d (Apr 10, 2006)

I agree Misty that the fat movement seems to have taken a few steps backward. I am especially disappointed with my fellow FAs who range from the totally dishonest (all I care about is her personality crowd) to the illogical and bizarre.

Statistically very tall men die earlier than shorter ones - should women then avoid dating tall men because of what might happen? I could on and on here..

The bottom line is there are FAs out there for every fat woman, but from what I have been reading she's going to be hard pressed to find one with enough balls to not only be honest with her with what he desires but also to live up to any unique needs a fat woman may have.


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## Russ2d (Apr 10, 2006)

_"My point..and several other ladies' point has been that anyone..any size can have a health issue. When you are scared that a fat girl is going to get sick and die on you, you are buying into what society has tried to beat into our heads for years. This is a place that is trying to overturn those very sterotypes about fat."_

Well said Misty, I don't have to add a thing.


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## Russ2d (Apr 10, 2006)

To answer the evolved question my ideal girl's weight would be between 350-500lbs. She would have to be a very soft and fat 300lbs for my desire to dip below 350lbs.


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## pickleman357 (Apr 10, 2006)

Russ2d said:


> Statistically very tall men die earlier than shorter ones



Yeah, that's from all the freakin times we hit our head on, car doors, shelves, branches, car doors, etc....


But good points otherwise!


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Apr 10, 2006)

pickleman357 said:


> Also, my asumtions could be from my own personal experience. I gained 30lbs in the last year and my physical abilities (walking, running, etc) have been conciderablly hindered. I can't do 1/4 of the stuff I could do before! And my train of thought is; if and extra 30lbs makes a big flight of stairs a burden, what does an extra 300lbs make it?!



I once gained 30 lbs in about three months, and gained about 80 over two years. It really depends on your body how well you handle this. (I seriously AM big-boned.) I'm double-jointed, so obviously my joints are okay with stress. I'm pretty active anyway. I imagine SS folk are pretty much as random as I am. Most people in general are lazy and have a hard time with stairs. I love 'em.


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## The Weatherman (Apr 10, 2006)

bah, all you people are WAAAAAYYY too sensitive. That's probably the number one reason I wouldn't date any of you.

I'm outta here, these forums are way to petty for me. The blunt fact is that if you're an ssbbw without health problems, you're probably gonna have them soon. I'm just sayin'. It's why I've seen threads where y'all bitch about the cost of your health insurance. No duh, insurance companies are playing the odds and trying to make money. If it was fiscally responsible for them to offer the same rates to ssbbws as they do to the rest of the population, one of them would do it. Before long, they'd be raking in the dough because ALL the ssbbws and ssbhms in America would sign up for it. The reason that doesn't happen is because they've calculated the risk and determined that it would be fiscally irresponsible.

Now obviously, that is one factor. If you are an ssbbw who doesn't smoke, your rates will be lower than those of an ssbbw who does. It's one factor to consider when health insurance companies dish out policies. It's also one factor to consider when guys look for dates. Sure if I loved someone I'd be there for her no matter what. But how many of you gals would casually date someone who might go at any second?

And I know all y'all will take offense to my harsh language concerning health, but maybe it will make you stop denying certain things.

Now, that's all I'm gonna say. I thought Dimensions would be a cool place for me, as an FA, to talk honestly about my sexuality and feelings, but obviously it isn't. There is a certain, rigid line of thinking that you must follow around here, and if someone challenges it they are attacked. All I ask is for you to take my views seriously before condemning them. But that doesn't happen. Everyone must follow the party line around here. Well, I refuse, so goodbye.


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## moonvine (Apr 10, 2006)

pickleman357 said:


> Now what if I wanted to do things with her, but she couldn't because of her weight? What if I wanted to do *a lot *things wtih her that she can't join me in, because of her weight?
> What kind of relationship would that be? Yes, we can go and do the things that she likes. But I would be alone doing the things I like... so my entire interaction with her would just to keep her happy.
> Our lives would be eat, sleep, work, sex. I believe that I would feel that I'm just using her for sex and that would be objectifying her.



I guess it depends on what you like to do. I am ~300 and haven't found anything I want to do that I can't do, though admittedly running a marathon isn't something that I would want to do.

Personally, I don't expect to find a guy who shares *all* my interests. I would want to do some things by myself anyway as I don't wish to be joined at the hip to anyone.


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## TheSadeianLinguist (Apr 10, 2006)

moonvine said:


> Personally, I don't expect to find a guy who shares *all* my interests. I would want to do some things by myself anyway as I don't wish to be joined at the hip to anyone.



This is where you and I differ. If I meet Ryan in person, I expect him to not only do all the things I like, but for him to allow me to ride him like a pony during all of the activities!


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## Mikey (Apr 10, 2006)

Apparently some people here have never been to a hospital or an open casket funeral. Here is a fact:Thin people become ill and die too! As a matter of fact, more thin people are in hospitals then fat people. That is why supersized people can't be accomodated in beds, nor much equipment, ie MRI's, CAT scans etc. My ex girlfriend barely fit into a hospital bed and the scale incorporated into the bed only went up to 550 pounds, and she was clearly larger then that. Also something that comes to mind was a friend's father, who at 88 years old and was about 5'3 400 pounds, all belly, died after a simple prostate procedure (not a weight induced health issue) died after being mistakenly given penacillan (sp?). He had been perfectly healthy prior to that.

FYI there is an NIH (National Institute of Health) Study that said being over weight and having certain health issues that traditionally have been attributed to obesity are nothing more then parallel modalities. Remember, all of us are decended from fat people. They are the only ones who survived winters and famine.

Oh and on the other side of the fence. Supersized is not a fantasy for all of us. Some of us have conspicuously dated supersized ladies and gentlemen having taken our loved ones to family events, social gatherings etc. 

Ignorance is a scarey thing when it is allowed to spread.


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## ataraxia (Apr 10, 2006)

Russ2d said:


> I agree Misty that the fat movement seems to have taken a few steps backward. I am especially disappointed with my fellow FAs who range from the totally dishonest (all I care about is her personality crowd) to the illogical and bizarre.


I think it's because the movement is starting to pick up steam. As any group grows, the proportion of bad guys and such increases.


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## AnnMarie (Apr 10, 2006)

pickleman357 said:


> So now what if this woman, dies because of a weight related helth issue?
> From the FA's point of view, something that he adores, just killed the woman that he loved. IMO that would shatter the FA life, mind, and sexuality.
> 
> And to me, that's really really scary. And I know that its rare and we all got to die some time... but its
> ...


 
I know you've already sort of worked through all of this in your head, and I think it's great that you were open enough to listen to what we all said. Good for you for having an open mind and realizing that maybe your mind wasn't quite doing justice to reality. 

As for what you wrote above (quoted) - "something he adores killed the woman he loves" - just adjust the thinking "something just killed the woman he adores." I realize it seems like semantics, but it's not. As Misty said, anything can kill any of us at any time. 

You fall in love with a person based on so many levels, and what they look like only being one facet of that. A fat girl is just living her life, going about it, enjoying it, having dreams, making plans, all of that. You loving her for all that she is is NOT killing her - ever. You're loving her and enriching her life, just as she is yours. Some of us are fat, some of us are tall, some are skinny, some are short, you know the deal. 

I guess I'm just saying that my weight and the life I'm living in it are not your, or anyone else's, guilt to bear. I wouldn't change for a single person other than myself, and I'll be fat with or without you or any FA. 

I know Misty said similar, but I had to clear my head of it as well.


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## ataraxia (Apr 10, 2006)

I only wish I could make myself clear in writing the way I would in person.


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## pickleman357 (Apr 10, 2006)

AnnMarie said:


> I know you've already sort of worked through all of this in your head, and I think it's great that you were open enough to listen to what we all said. Good for you for having an open mind and realizing that maybe your mind wasn't quite doing justice to reality.
> 
> As for what you wrote above (quoted) - "something he adores killed the woman he loves" - just adjust the thinking "something just killed the woman he adores." I realize it seems like semantics, but it's not. As Misty said, anything can kill any of us at any time.
> 
> ...


I think Carrie said it best here http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=5914


Carrie said:


> I understand that as fat women, it's difficult to hear hurtful comments come out of a FA's mouth. I mean, they're supposed to be our allies, right? Our advocates, our heros, our knights in shining armor! Nope. They're just people. People who struggle with the repurcussions of loving fat women in a thin-centric world, and people who, despite their best intentions, will sometimes say hurtful things. Because here's the thing: unless you're a significantly fat person, you don't know what it's like to *be* a significantly fat person. You may be the most understanding, empathetic person in the world, but you still do not know what it's like to have lived your life as a fat person - so yes, you will probably sometimes say things that are unintentionally hurtful, or vexing to me, as a fat person.



The problem is stereotypes and lack of communication. I realise this now.
And I would like to thank all you wonderful women for getting on my case about it so that I'll know better. And hopefully some guys will read this and not have the same problem!

Cheers AnnMarie
Peace!


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## ataraxia (Apr 10, 2006)

pickleman357 said:


> The problem is stereotypes and lack of communication. I realise this now.
> And I would like to thank all you wonderful women for getting on my case about it so that I'll know better. And hopefully some guys will read this and not have the same problem!


What confuses me, is that I recognize "lack of communication" and "messing up the words" right away. There's something there that tips me off as to whether "this person goofed up" or "this person is a jerk". I forget that not everybody can tell, the way I can.

The thing is, I tend to just ignore "clumsy" posts. So if you're one of those people who can't make the distinction in my previous paragraph, it looks like not only was the other person a jerk, but that I am being _complacent_ about it. I'm most likely just waiting for a more _articulate_ post to respond to.


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## MisticalMisty (Apr 10, 2006)

Russ2d said:


> _"My point..and several other ladies' point has been that anyone..any size can have a health issue. When you are scared that a fat girl is going to get sick and die on you, you are buying into what society has tried to beat into our heads for years. This is a place that is trying to overturn those very sterotypes about fat."_
> 
> Well said Misty, I don't have to add a thing.




Thank you  I appreciate it.


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## Buffetbelly (Apr 11, 2006)

For me and for a lot of FA's I know it's more like a threshold than a fixed ideal. I'm attracted to women between 180 pounds and _*X*_, where *X* is the unknown because I've never met a woman who was too fat, and that includes a couple who were over 600 pounds (for the math minded, *X* >> 600). A woman has to have at least some fat on her to attract my interest, but from that point on it's her personality and essence that matters. 

Now it's true that the 180 pound woman is not going to put me into a stuporous trance or make me visibly drool or cause me to faint from excitement the way a well turned out 400+ pound woman can. :smitten: But once you get past that initial reaction, they are all on equal footing. Really!


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## lipmixgirl (Apr 11, 2006)

Buffetbelly said:


> For me and for a lot of FA's I know it's more like a threshold than a fixed ideal. I'm attracted to women between 180 pounds and _*X*_, where *X* is the unknown because I've never met a woman who was too fat, and that includes a couple who were over 600 pounds (for the math minded, *X* >> 600). A woman has to have at least some fat on her to attract my interest, but from that point on it's her personality and essence that matters.
> 
> Now it's true that the 180 pound woman is not going to put me into a stuporous trance or make me visibly drool or cause me to faint from excitement the way a well turned out 400+ pound woman can. :smitten: But once you get past that initial reaction, they are all on equal footing. Really!


 

SPOKEN LIKE A REAL and TRUE FA!!!


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## pickleman357 (Apr 14, 2006)

Buffetbelly said:


> But once you get past that initial reaction, they are all on equal footing. Really!



I think its that initial reaction that can be the source of problems. Cause its not just all the stereotypes we have to push out of our heads, its also the sudden *overdose *of what we like.

Its like waking up one day and finding a billion dollars in your bank account.

Your raction for the next hour would be :shocked: 

Once you get passed that, then you can think about what to do with it all.

But if she leaves and you don't see her for a bit, and she comes back and you get that :shocked: thing going again... we're not going to make any progress with her!


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## TheNowhereMan (Apr 27, 2006)

oh i love all, but bigger can sometiems be better. Depends more on the person's soul than thier body.


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