# POLL: do your parents approve or disapprove?



## exile in thighville (Apr 10, 2009)

Do your folks give you a hard time about being an FA? Or does one more than the other? Per Carrie's question in another thread.


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## Mini (Apr 10, 2009)

The folks are pretty much indifferent. They don't really get it, but so far as they're concerned if I find someone who makes me happy, they're happy.


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## Santaclear (Apr 10, 2009)

My parents are both long dead, probably of shock and shame when they learned their son was an FA. :batting:


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## SoliloquyOfaSiren (Apr 10, 2009)

I'm sorry your rents have passed :[

My mother and her boyfriend give me so much shit about it. Like they know I'm going to date bigger men. But they dont approve of anyone bigger than chubby or wtv. Like my last guy (whom my mother, despite contrary belief, knew about) it wasnt rly the age gap that bothered her.

I hate how shallow some people can be...


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## CCC (Apr 10, 2009)

Mother gave me no shit about it. She's still a little confused though, and worries about me getting gang-raped at the NJ Bash (which comes from the idea of a community based around a sexual preference, not that the preference is specifically the BBW/FA relationship).
Can we prove her fear correct?

Never knew my father. Gen-u-ine bastard right here.


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## BothGunsBlazing (Apr 10, 2009)

I'd say it's a toss up.

I don't know if anyone else has experienced this, but the longer I dated fat girls, the bigger the girls I'd bring home. I think that freaked out my parents. Like first it was 230lbs, followed by 300lbs, followed by 350lbs .. followed by the 350lb girl showing up again at 400lbs .. 

The whole thing intensified once my mother got WLS and suddenly had this mission to remind me every single day that being fat is unhealthy.


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## SoliloquyOfaSiren (Apr 10, 2009)

CCC said:


> Mother gave me no shit about it. She's still a little confused though, and worries about me getting gang-raped at the NJ Bash (which comes from the idea of a community based around a sexual preference, not that the preference is specifically the BBW/FA relationship).
> Can we prove her fear correct?
> 
> Never knew my father. Gen-u-ine bastard right here.



lol I hope all goes well for you at the bash. My father is estranged. But he wasnt rly my dad....my moms husband at the time....confusing stuff rly...

But yeah I wish you the best in finding a girly there


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## Tooz (Apr 10, 2009)

Mini said:


> The folks are pretty much indifferent. They don't really get it, but so far as they're concerned if I find someone who makes me happy, they're happy.



That's because they're FREAKING AWESOME.


I love/miss your parents, dammit.


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## Melian (Apr 10, 2009)

My dad is fat and my mom is thin.

Not sure if this plays a role, but they have never said a word about my preference (except to note that I like tall men).


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## Dr. P Marshall (Apr 10, 2009)

My mother recently told me that she is what we'd call bisizual here at Dims. She happened to fall in love with a thin man, but she finds many big men attractive, so no disapproval there. My father has never expressed disapproval but he hasn't expressed approval either. My father rarely discusses my relationships with me. He's the one member of my family who actually believes in personal boundaries.


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## Weeze (Apr 10, 2009)

My dad really doesn't care. I think there's only been one or two comments about it, and they weren't even negative, he was just being a smartass, like "Oh, mom says you've got a thing for marc? he's quite a big 'un there, babygirl"
*facepalm*

Mom on the other hand... Oh mom. First off, my mom's the one who found the fatty porn when I was younger, so not only was she the first on to find out i had a sexual interest in women but ALSO an interest in FAT women... Talk about a shocker 
So, mom's just getting over the "she likes women" hurdle. She's not ready for the "wait. i have a fat kid... who likes other fat people?" thing yet. and that's ok. she's critical of everything having to do with being overweight, so, I kinda just take her in stride/ignore her.


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## Durin (Apr 10, 2009)

Both of my parents are equally fat phobic. 

That's why I limit my time with them as much as possible.

:bow:


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## KnottyOne (Apr 10, 2009)

My parents don't care at all, which honestly I find a tad bit weird. Both of them are total fitness freaks, I mean my mom does triathalons and is in the gym at least an hour an a half a day. My dad is always on a kick about his weight and is always trying to lose it despite the fact he is pretty skinny for his height. Both are into athletics like none other, they met on the swim team in college and they have always stressed healthy eating and lifestyles, I mean junk food in their house, blasphemy!!!! But every girl I have ever brought home that was big, they didn't care at all, they treat them just as well and never have said anything about their weight to me. So yea they don't care, I think all they care about is me finally getting a girl that can reel me in and settle me down haha


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## Blackjack (Apr 10, 2009)

My mother knows and accepts, and jokes about it with me. I don't know that she totally gets it, but she doesn't give me any grief.

I haven't told my father or stepmother yet, though. I might wait until I actually have someone to bring home and let them figure it out. I really don't discuss anything like that with them aside from my stepmothers inquiries into whether or not I have a girlfriend and my father's occasional drunken worries that I might've gotten someone pregnant. I'm not really close in this regard to my father, where I talk about my love and sex life, so it would be rather uncomfortable. My stepmother I don't really plan on telling anytime soon because she's shallow and judgemental and I just don't want to deal with it. It's not that I'm not proud, I just don't want the headaches that she'll give me.


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## The Orange Mage (Apr 10, 2009)

Mini said:


> The folks are pretty much indifferent. They don't really get it, but so far as they're concerned if I find someone who makes me happy, they're happy.



Same. Which is wonderful.


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## altered states (Apr 10, 2009)

My mom is pretty fat-phobic but always was well-behaved when I brought a fat girlfriend home. Then again, I think if I got serious with a BBW at some future point I'd hear about it from her, in some way. My dad is more open-minded. My steps, I don't give a shit what they think.


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## JoeVanHalen (Apr 10, 2009)

I don't think my mom would care if I brought home a chick with five arms let alone a lady of the voluptuous variaty.


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## Jon Blaze (Apr 10, 2009)

I picked the last choice.

My parents initially questioned me a lot (Not really a hard time though), but it's not a big deal at all anymore.

My mom was sort of ambivalent, and whilst most of my father figures do hate fat people to some varying degree, they haven't made a big deal about whom I've brought home.

My younger sister and I have cracked skulls a few times though.


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## exile in thighville (Apr 11, 2009)

I picked mother by mistake before I remembered neither one of them has given me shit at all. Projection much.


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## rollhandler (Apr 11, 2009)

My mother was the one who noticed first that all the girls I've ever brought home were obese. My dad says nothing about preference nor do I believe that he cares whom or what size of woman I bring home, he just enjoys the time he can share with his kid and mate.

My sister and my mother have been the only ones to make any sort of comment about anything size relative to my dating practices. I have no doubt they care not the size of the woman I date and my sister dares to make light of it and joke about the "fatties" I enjoy so much, but only in a sibling smack on the shoulder kinda way that is bonding and harmless in its regard.

The only negative thing that I've ever heard that makes me believe that they don't quite understand the minefield that I choose to date in is the part where they both wish I could find a nice girl with less health/ emotional issues.

These girls are out there but they are a bit fewer in the dating pool of obese women. I accept that fat women with emotional issues are more the standard than the exception but Mom and Sis seem to think that I should keep on looking until I find one that is 400lb with the confidence level of a conquering hero, and healthy as a horse (no knee issues, diabetes, and the like). I am more the "get-to-know-the-person-and-love-the-person" kinda guy and not a serial dater who can toss women aside and move on if they dont fit the bill of perfect health and emotional stabilty that my Mom and Sis seem to think would make for a more lasting relationship for me.
In the interest of self preservation, I have chosen not to enter this conversation with either of them.

Rollhandler


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## Adamantoise (Apr 11, 2009)

I don't get any grief from either parent about my preferences,thank the lord.


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## alienlanes (Apr 11, 2009)

Neither of my parents has ever given me any trouble over it.


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## Weirdo890 (Apr 11, 2009)

Mini said:


> The folks are pretty much indifferent. They don't really get it, but so far as they're concerned if I find someone who makes me happy, they're happy.



Same here.


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## Santaclear (Apr 11, 2009)

SoliloquyOfaSiren said:


> I'm sorry your rents have passed :[-



Thanks, it's been a long time.

Just to clarify (since I was joshing in my above post) I'm pretty sure the subject of me being into fat females never came up. (My first two girlfriends were almost plump but definitely not fat.) My parents certainly weren't bigots or particularly anti-fat, so I doubt it would have been a problem.


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## EtobicokeFA (Apr 13, 2009)

For this a yes.no answer for me, because while my approve for small BBWs they totally disapproved of any girlfriend of mine that where larger that 250 pounds.


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## Hole (Apr 16, 2009)

My father does not approve of anyone I date. Ha. My mum has made snarky comments here and there but it's not like she tells me not to date big guys. Her comments usually die down when she realizes we're serious.


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## Mathias (Apr 16, 2009)

They won't mind as long as I'm happy.


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## The Fez (Apr 16, 2009)

Neither of them know, as far as I'm aware, though it wouldn't surprise me if they did know. They're very easy going, and highly doubt there'd be any problems.


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## kioewen (Apr 19, 2009)

My parents found out simply by observing whom I was attracted to. It never really came up, because it was a traditional upbringing, and it would have been weird to discuss it with them. I'm still surprised that people can, or would want to, talk about something like this with their parents, or that the subject would even come up, but to each their own.

My father once expressed mild surprise when he saw which girl I was eager to dance with at a wedding, but that was about it.

My mother is thin, but since I come from an ethnic community where fuller figured women are traditionally considered attractive, I don't think it ever struck her as particularly odd. Every once in a while she'll say something like, "I saw a girl at [wherever] today who I think you'd like." Funnily enough, she's often right.


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## Biglover (Apr 20, 2009)

Santaclear, I understand what you've gone through, as both of my parents are also long gone. My Dad never said a word, as I brought home the big girls. My Mom however, was different story. As I got older, I dated bigger and bigger women, just like others here. My last GF got up to around 400 pounds, before Mom died. She was so angry at me for dating a fat girl, and she wanted to know why. I said to her, I love fat women, always have. She told me I must be sick then, what a battle we had. Nothing was ever resolved, and about a month later she passed. That was 13 years ago. The thing I hate most about this is, what a stupid thing to fight about, and I think of that day so much. I loved my Mom dearly, and I can never change, that terrible day.


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## mediaboy (Apr 20, 2009)

Biglover said:


> Santaclear, I understand what you've gone through, as both of my parents are also long gone. My Dad never said a word, as I brought home the big girls. My Mom however, was different story. As I got older, I dated bigger and bigger women, just like others here. My last GF got up to around 400 pounds, before Mom died. She was so angry at me for dating a fat girl, and she wanted to know why. I said to her, I love fat women, always have. She told me I must be sick then, what a battle we had. Nothing was ever resolved, and about a month later she passed. That was 13 years ago. The thing I hate most about this is, what a stupid thing to fight about, and I think of that day so much. I loved my Mom dearly, and I can never change, that terrible day.



The heart wants what it wants. You can no more change your feelings than you can change the course of a river through will alone.

Both my parents know and don't really care as I'm pretty sure my dad is an FA though we've never brought it up and really talked about it. I mean, why give a name to something that is open in plain sight? You wouldn't walk up to a guy and say, "So I noticed your shoes are tied... you must really like having tied shoes, when did you first tie your shoes, have you ever worn velco strap shoes, do you hate velcro shoes? DO YOU HATE VELCRO?"

My older brother on the other hand is much more plebeian in his pursuits and in his opinions. This is a man who has a barbed wire tattoo around his left arm, a pony tail & handle bar mustache, smokes Marlboro reds and has collected enough Marlboro dollars to get a cowboy smoking at sunset comforter which he still proudly uses despite the dozens of cigarette burns pot marked all over it from over a decade of use.

He once told me while I was grieving over th recent break up of a very cute fatty "Bill, after this one, no more fat chicks" 

Looking back, I realize I should have ridden my penis like The Patrick Swayze on on a surfboard at the end of Point Break into a set of massive fat girl waves while shouting, "It's not tragic to die doing what you love" only to drowned with out so much of a yelp amid their luxurious and torrid clad fat rolls but instead I just laughed and feign punched him in the stomach and said, "Whatever old man, lets go get some fucking Del Taco". Hindsights only 20/20, you know?


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## elle camino (Apr 20, 2009)

...is your brother single


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## Jay West Coast (Apr 21, 2009)

I don't think either of my parents "get it" but I've had frank discussions with them both. They both realise they can't change me, and in general I think they've been [otherwise] down with the women I've brought home. 

_Dad: So what you're telling me I'm probably going to have a fat daughter-in-law someday?

Jay: That's what I'm praying for. 

Dad: Huh. Okay. You know _I'm_ into thin women, right?

Jay: Yes. You've made that very clear, Dad. _ *sips beer to hide eye roll*


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## liz (di-va) (Apr 21, 2009)

On the other side, my parents don't get that people I go out with prefer largeness--they think FAs are "seeing through to the person beneath" and "openminded," rather than (god help us all) liking it. Which is tantamount in their case to not wanting to talk about sex, period, but it's also some seriously acculturated disbelief.


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## sweet&fat (Apr 21, 2009)

liz (di-va) said:


> On the other side, my parents don't get that people I go out with prefer largeness--they think FAs are "seeing through to the person beneath" and "openminded," rather than (god help us all) liking it. Which is tantamount in their case to not wanting to talk about sex, period, but it's also some seriously acculturated disbelief.



My mom actually once argued that FAs are just trying to get back at their parents by dating outside the norm. The follow-up to that was that I should watch my step in dating an FA, since there would inevitably come a time when he would get over this need for rebellion and then subsequently lose interest in fat women. Yep. No joke.


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## Jon Blaze (Apr 21, 2009)

liz (di-va) said:


> On the other side, my parents don't get that people I go out with prefer largeness--they think FAs are "seeing through to the person beneath" and "openminded," rather than (god help us all) liking it. Which is tantamount in their case to not wanting to talk about sex, period, but it's also some seriously acculturated disbelief.



I get that as well, but of course on the other end. I've had friends call me open-minded based on the same criteria, with a few exceptions.


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## mediaboy (Apr 21, 2009)

elle camino said:


> ...is your brother single


 
His taste in women runs some where between the range of bar hag with smokers lung to spicy latino who's rebounding off her boy friend/baby daddy because he is in jail AGAIN.

The last one took a court order to get her out of his house and even now they are still boning. When he gives me advice about women I face palm, roll my eyes, and ask if he wants to get Del Taco to which he usually says, "Nah, Bill lets go to Taco Bell..." so obviously his taste in Mexican fast food parallels his taste in women: he loves to eat shit.

In answer to your query, Elle; my brother is 75% single.


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## liz (di-va) (Apr 22, 2009)

sweet&fat said:


> My mom actually once argued that FAs are just trying to get back at their parents by dating outside the norm. The follow-up to that was that I should watch my step in dating an FA, since there would inevitably come a time when he would get over this need for rebellion and then subsequently lose interest in fat women. Yep. No joke.



Blimey! I can (unfortunately) totally picture my parents saying that too. Anything to make "sense" of something that just doesn't, to them.

Jon B, you're such a good samaritan!


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## stan_der_man (Apr 22, 2009)

My mother was the one that caused me the most headaches. Even to this day she disapproves of Mtmaiden's weight (even to the WLS Mtnmaiden had) although my mom keeps it to herself mostly now. My dad -back when he was alive - seemed to take my preference for fat girls in stride. He didn't really say much about their weight and always got along well with my earlier girlfriends and then with my wife.


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## Surlysomething (Apr 22, 2009)

I don't bring partners etc around my family. My personal life is mine. But I know they wouldn't give a flying fuck as long as I was happy.



They're good people.


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## Surlysomething (Apr 22, 2009)

mediaboy said:


> The heart wants what it wants. You can no more change your feelings than you can change the course of a river through will alone.
> 
> Both my parents know and don't really care as I'm pretty sure my dad is an FA though we've never brought it up and really talked about it. I mean, why give a name to something that is open in plain sight? You wouldn't walk up to a guy and say, "So I noticed your shoes are tied... you must really like having tied shoes, when did you first tie your shoes, have you ever worn velco strap shoes, do you hate velcro shoes? DO YOU HATE VELCRO?"
> 
> ...



I would openly laugh in your brother's face. Mainly because of the ponytail. But the mustache would seal it.


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## exile in thighville (Apr 22, 2009)

sweet&fat said:


> My mom actually once argued that FAs are just trying to get back at their parents by dating outside the norm. The follow-up to that was that I should watch my step in dating an FA, since there would inevitably come a time when he would get over this need for rebellion and then subsequently lose interest in fat women. Yep. No joke.



surely i'm not the only fa your mom's met


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## sweet&fat (Apr 22, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> surely i'm not the only fa your mom's met



hur hur.


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## mediaboy (Apr 23, 2009)

sweet&fat said:


> hur hur.



Dan only like fat chicks because it gives him way more indy cred than a non ipod mp3 player


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## exile in thighville (Apr 23, 2009)

i write for pitchfuck. think i'll be okay.


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## pjbbwlvr (Apr 23, 2009)

Many years ago both my parents gave me shit about my BBW girlfriend. They said I can do better and all she will do is get fatter. I told them I have the best Lady and I don't give a crap how much weight she may gain. 
Well it's been 28 years and my BBW girlfriend is my BBW wife and she is as beautiful and loving as the day we met! And my parents never said another said another negative word about her since that one and only comment they made, 28 years ago!
Paul 





exile in thighville said:


> Do your folks give you a hard time about being an FA? Or does one more than the other? Per Carrie's question in another thread.


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## Novelist (Apr 23, 2009)

My parents are fully aware I like "squishy guys" and they don't care. I think my grandmother would. She has a problem with my tastes in guys; she's a little racist, but I really have a thing for black men, and she's somewhat preoccupied with weight loss, so I doubt she'd approve. Oh well, I love her anyway.


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## Rojodi (Apr 23, 2009)

My mother didn't approve of me dating my wife at first, because she was a Protestant, not Catholic. Size never entered into it.


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## Littleghost (Apr 23, 2009)

My father would be _*"deeply concerned".*_ But we don't talk anymore, so that's that.


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## hello2u (Apr 23, 2009)

sweet&fat said:


> My mom actually once argued that FAs are just trying to get back at their parents by dating outside the norm. The follow-up to that was that I should watch my step in dating an FA, since there would inevitably come a time when he would get over this need for rebellion and then subsequently lose interest in fat women. Yep. No joke.





Maybe someday when she sees you really happy with that special someone, she will realized that large women are beautiful, and there are those of us who find this so.


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## Captain Save (Apr 23, 2009)

I'm sure my parents would like for me to pursue something other than my choices have been, but at this point they might be a lot closer to my own mode of thinking, which is much more independent of the opinions of others, and self centered. Besides, they aren't the ones who will share a life and sample the charms of that loving and cuddly BBW out there waiting for me, are they? I know; I'm _so_ selfish in that regard, aren't I?
:happy:


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## mediaboy (Apr 24, 2009)

Surlysomething said:


> I would openly laugh in your brother's face. Mainly because of the ponytail. But the mustache would seal it.



I've done the same thing mysel multiple times.

He just shrugs it off and then brushes his shoulders off because I guess thats what kid rock would do


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## mediaboy (Apr 24, 2009)

exile in thighville said:


> i write for pitchfuck. think i'll be okay.




Lol Adbusters son, keep on play'n.


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## Surlysomething (Apr 24, 2009)

mediaboy said:


> I've done the same thing mysel multiple times.
> 
> He just shrugs it off and then brushes his shoulders off because I guess thats what kid rock would do



Have you ever thought of DNA testing?


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## Mack27 (Apr 24, 2009)

Moms disapprove more than dads, interesting. I think mothers in general are more likely to be disapproving of potential mates for their children though. The "she's not good enough for my little boy" syndrome from mothers slightly outstrips the "he's not good enough for my little girl" syndrome from fathers in my opinion.


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## steely (Apr 24, 2009)

My father hates that I'm fat.He doesn't care who I date or married.


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## gangstadawg (Apr 25, 2009)

sweet&fat said:


> My mom actually once argued that FAs are just trying to get back at their parents by dating outside the norm. The follow-up to that was that I should watch my step in dating an FA, since there would inevitably come a time when he would get over this need for rebellion and then subsequently lose interest in fat women. Yep. No joke.


my grandma argued with me that men that like fat women are just using them to hide there homosexuality and are really on the downlow. she got this BS info from my gay uncle. any ways she has calmed down with the bullshit and doesnt really care who i bring home since she is too busy dealing with my lil 17 year olds sisters issues with dating.


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## James (Apr 25, 2009)

gangstadawg said:


> my grandma argued with me that men that like fat women are just using them to hide there homosexuality and are really on the downlow. she got this BS info from my gay uncle. any ways she has calmed down with the bullshit and doesnt really care who i bring home since she is too busy dealing with my lil 17 year olds sisters issues with dating.



I had something similar happen once when I told a slim girl I wasn't into her because I was only attracted to fat girls... her response was "huh... nice variation on '_I'm sorry I'm gay_'... you don't have to make stuff up to try and make me feel better!"...


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## Mathias (Apr 25, 2009)

Even if my parents don't approve, so what? It's what makes me happy and it's my life.


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## Mack27 (Apr 25, 2009)

Mathias said:


> Even if my parents don't approve, so what? It's what makes me happy and it's my life.



Phew! Good thing its that simple.


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## t3h_n00b (Apr 25, 2009)

They don't get it, but they don't give me that much grief about it.


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## gangstadawg (Apr 25, 2009)

James said:


> I had something similar happen once when I told a slim girl I wasn't into her because I was only attracted to fat girls... her response was "huh... nice variation on '_I'm sorry I'm gay_'... you don't have to make stuff up to try and make me feel better!"...


 i guess to her men can cant be attracted to larger women. gotta love ignorance and stupidity its hilarious when others are affected by it.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 25, 2009)

elle camino said:


> ...is your brother single



Oh how I laughed.....:bow: 



steely said:


> My father hates that I'm fat.He doesn't care who I date or married.



That sums up a lot of it for me in many ways........my mom would care if she thought being with a fat guy would lead me into being fatter.


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## steely (Apr 28, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Oh how I laughed.....:bow:
> 
> 
> 
> That sums up a lot of it for me in many ways........my mom would care if she thought being with a fat guy would lead me into being fatter.



My Mom's an enabler,even with diabetes she still tries to get me to eat stuff that will kill me.I get really tired of explaining that bread is like arsenic to me.When I got married,we both got fatter,lol


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 28, 2009)

steely said:


> My Mom's an enabler,even with diabetes she still tries to get me to eat stuff that will kill me.I get really tired of explaining that bread is like arsenic to me.When I got married,we both got fatter,lol



My father would rip into me viciously...telling me I was fat and putting me down for ordering a hamburger. Later, he would push me to eat more.....eat fattening stuff, dissuade me from exercising. 

My mother still tries to get me to take diet pills and lose weight....yet when we go out, she wants me to eat fast food........:blink:

She tried to get me to break off a friendship with a SSBBW as a teen....because she thought my friend would influence me to get bigger...OMG.....:doh:

I can see her doing the same with a bigger guy.......:eyeroll:


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## steely (Apr 29, 2009)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> My father would rip into me viciously...telling me I was fat and putting me down for ordering a hamburger. Later, he would push me to eat more.....eat fattening stuff, dissuade me from exercising.
> 
> My mother still tries to get me to take diet pills and lose weight....yet when we go out, she wants me to eat fast food........:blink:
> 
> ...



That makes me feel so sad. I'm sorry that happened to you. What is wrong with parents? Having never been one I guess I don't know what it's like. Having been a child I know my parents really didn't have a clue.It does make me sad at times.

Thank heavens you grew up to be the wonderful person you are, some people wouldn't have made it.


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## mediaboy (May 1, 2009)

If there's one thing I've learned from this thread it's that all our parents are hilarious. If we didn't love and care about them then it would insanely obvious but because we do all we can do is roll our eyes.


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## Blockierer (May 2, 2009)

In puberty I had a "secret" collection of magazins (large boobs & chubby girls) so to my parents "secret" delight it was proved that I am obviously not gay  or something unusual else. 
They for sure thought everything is alright with the young boy. Nothing can be wrong with a boy who prefers 100% girls.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (May 2, 2009)

Blockierer said:


> In puberty I had a "secret" collection of magazins (large boobs & chubby girls) so to my parents "secret" delight it was proved that I am obviously not gay  or something unusual else.
> They for sure thought everything is alright with the young boy. Nothing can be wrong with a boy who prefers 100% girls.



You always have a way of making a thread brighter  :bow:


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## Shinobi_Hime-Sama (May 11, 2009)

My parents don't know that I even come here on this site. My dad is pretty fat-phobic and yet he's fat himself,:huh: I hear him making fun of my mom all the time because she's not so skinny herself. And I guess the truth is, I have no idea how they would react if they knew. My sister is dating this guy who's fat my dad doesn't seem to mind him (probably because he's my nephew's father), but he also gets along with everyone pretty much.


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## Bagalute (May 12, 2009)

I guess for my parents it's some sort of cognitive dissonance. They love my gf to death but generally speaking they are not really fat-positive. They have both male and female fat friends but like to negatively comment on them as well when they're not around. Gosh how I like to be mentally challenging for my parents


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## Slamaga (May 13, 2009)

I didn't even said that I was an FA to nobody. When I am talking about fat people to some of my near friends, they say thay cannot understand why a guy would be attracted by a bbw. My parents are very active person and I'm sure it will create dissonance to them if I tell them.


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## bmann0413 (May 16, 2009)

My mom's accepting of it. My father accepts it as well, which is weird, because he (and my oldest sister) is a fatophobe. Ah, well, who cares what he thinks about how I likes my women? lol


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## nykspree8 (May 16, 2009)

Slamaga said:


> I didn't even said that I was an FA to nobody. When I am talking about fat people to some of my near friends, they say thay cannot understand why a guy would be attracted by a bbw. My parents are very active person and I'm sure it will create dissonance to them if I tell them.



Soooo...you're one of those guys who likes to creep around the shadows with his bbw/ssbbw gf so they aren't seen together?? Shame on you....

Anyways...my parents don't care at all, long as the girl makes me happy is what they're concerned about.


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## James (May 16, 2009)

See I think that whilst what you are saying is fair, its also more than a bit harsh. Especially when you consider that you have an 'easy' familial situation and Slamaga doesn't. Lets keep things supportive here rather than cast shame upon each other. Everyone gets a different upbringing and believe me, parents can have a huge impact on the way one develops as an FA. Just because yours were chill doesn't give you a pass to judge other FAs. Have you thought about how Slamaga's girlfriends might feel in this equation? How would you feel about it if you knew that your boyfriend's parents were vicously judgemental... would that be the fault of the FA?

Its a complicated thing and people are too ready to label things as black or white when it comes to FAs and family situations. Honesty is the paramount factor... but tact and consideration are pretty damned important too!


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## Slamaga (May 16, 2009)

nykspree8 said:


> Soooo...you're one of those guys who likes to creep around the shadows with his bbw/ssbbw gf so they aren't seen together?? Shame on you....
> 
> Anyways...my parents don't care at all, long as the girl makes me happy is what they're concerned about.



_For your concern, I'm at the point where I'm thinking about saying it or not and the reason why I'm reticent to tell it to my parents is that it will change, even if they want it or not, the way they see me. They were never confront to the reality of fat acceptance and this is what I'm worrying about. 

Oh! Please, never judge a situation on the first sight, ask questions and establish an argumentation that concludes with a conclusion you make._



James said:


> See I think that whilst what you are saying is fair, its also more than a bit harsh. Especially when you consider that you have an 'easy' familial situation and Slamaga doesn't. Lets keep things supportive here rather than cast shame upon each other. Everyone gets a different upbringing and believe me, parents can have a huge impact on the way one develops as an FA. Just because yours were chill doesn't give you a pass to judge other FAs. Have you thought about how Slamaga's girlfriends might feel in this equation? How would you feel about it if you knew that your boyfriend's parents were vicously judgemental... would that be the fault of the FA?
> 
> Its a complicated thing and people are too ready to label things as black or white when it comes to FAs and family situations. Honesty is the paramount factor... but tact and consideration are pretty damned important too!



_Thanks for the support. And for informations, I'm single, so there is no girlfriend in the equation for now, but I<m thinking about what I would be doing if it happens that I have a bbw/ssbbw as a girlfriend_


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## sierrak (May 16, 2009)

My parents have never cared about me being an FA. They've always loved and accepted whoever I've been with.


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## ekmanifest (May 16, 2009)

It's interesting - my mom doesn't say anything to me about my weight or how I look. She generally talks about being proud of me for my accomplishments, etc. However a few years ago I was very into that show Starting Over. Anyone watch it? There was a fat woman on the show who I actually exchanged e-mails with and was going to meet just because her story had moved me and she was someone who I related to - pretty accomplished, never letting being fat get in the way of her career, etc. but then so lacking in self-esteem when it came to men and relationships. My mom happened to be by one day when the show was on t.v. and - not even hearing this woman say anything - made such a derogatory comment about her that could have been based on nothing other than her being fat. It was like a slap in the face - Wow! That's what you really think about fat people.

Oops sorry . . . I'm think I'm bogarting the FA/FFA forum 




Green Eyed Fairy said:


> My father would rip into me viciously...telling me I was fat and putting me down for ordering a hamburger. Later, he would push me to eat more.....eat fattening stuff, dissuade me from exercising.
> 
> My mother still tries to get me to take diet pills and lose weight....yet when we go out, she wants me to eat fast food........:blink:
> 
> ...


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## nykspree8 (May 17, 2009)

Slamaga said:


> _For your concern, I'm at the point where I'm thinking about saying it or not and the reason why I'm reticent to tell it to my parents is that it will change, even if they want it or not, the way they see me. They were never confront to the reality of fat acceptance and this is what I'm worrying about.
> 
> Oh! Please, never judge a situation on the first sight, ask questions and establish an argumentation that concludes with a conclusion you make._
> 
> ...



Well i think it was more or less a language thing and I misunderstood what you said. You said something along the lines of , "I told nobody" and I figured you meant like, you wouldn't tell ANYONE about having a bbw/ssbbw gf. There's just a lot of losers out there who are all about having a bbw/ssbbw gf and then they are afraid to be seen in public with them. Man up, is what I would say to them. Like society is going to condemn them to the 7th level of hell for having a fat gf.


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## Lurvely (Apr 22, 2010)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> My father would rip into me viciously...telling me I was fat and putting me down for ordering a hamburger. Later, he would push me to eat more.....eat fattening stuff, dissuade me from exercising.
> 
> My mother still tries to get me to take diet pills and lose weight....yet when we go out, she wants me to eat fast food........:blink:
> 
> ...


Same for me, my mother seems to have endless negativity for the way i look especially if she manages to see me eating something she has deemed "bad" to eat or she notices the empty wrappers etc in my car, so i just ignore her and indulge her sometimes in the sense that if she asks if ive lost weight i'll say a couple and thats the end to it.
My father on the other hand saw me on dimensions once and i have NEVER heard the end of it. If we get into an argument about me being fat he will always use the "i dont care what dimensions says no one out there like this" and prods my belly.
It used to irritate me quite alot but now i just laugh


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## disconnectedsmile (Apr 22, 2010)

Mathias said:


> Even if my parents don't approve, so what? It's what makes me happy and it's my life.



:bow: this


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## That Guy You Met Once (Apr 22, 2010)

They don't know, and I feel no obligation to tell them.


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## Tad (Apr 22, 2010)

Another old threat shocked back to life....but it was an interesting one, and I don't think I responded way back when.

I never particularly told them what I was attracted to, and the only woman I seriously dated went from a little chunky to fairly plump by the time we got engaged. If my Dad had any opinion on her body he never indicated it. My mom, without ever saying it per se, did make it clear that she was less than impressed. However a year after we got married my wife, by then into BBW territory, lived with my parents for a few months while on a work placement, and by the end of that my mom was amongst her biggest fans, fat or not. 

I guess you could say Mom was not a fan of me dating a fat woman, but not so strongly opinionated as to blind her to the fact that said woman is just pretty darn awesome.


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## Proner (Apr 23, 2010)

My parents didn't give me hard times, well my mother didn't really appreciate it and said to me the "You deserve better" thing but I had long explanation on me what I like and why and now it seems that she understood that I'm with a bigger girl because I LOVE her and not by default.


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## snuggletiger (Apr 23, 2010)

For me its no biggie. Mom is a bbw on the smaller end of the sprectrum and my Dad didn't gain weight until he hit mid 40's and stopped smoking but as long as I am happy and the lady is nice they are all good with it.


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## Gspoon (Apr 24, 2010)

I am never disapproved for my liking of BBWs, I mean my parents sometimes say I should be dating someone thinner because they worry about the BBWs health more than their actual size. I sometimes find it annoying because I know the repercussions of dating someone that is overweight.

But other than that, they give me no grief. As long as I am happy, they say

I voted no.


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## msbard90 (Apr 24, 2010)

Weeze said:


> My dad really doesn't care. I think there's only been one or two comments about it, and they weren't even negative, he was just being a smartass, like "Oh, mom says you've got a thing for marc? he's quite a big 'un there, babygirl"
> *facepalm*
> 
> Mom on the other hand... Oh mom. First off, my mom's the one who found the fatty porn when I was younger, so not only was she the first on to find out i had a sexual interest in women but ALSO an interest in FAT women... Talk about a shocker
> So, mom's just getting over the "she likes women" hurdle. She's not ready for the "wait. i have a fat kid... who likes other fat people?" thing yet. and that's ok. she's critical of everything having to do with being overweight, so, I kinda just take her in stride/ignore her.



If only I could rep you again!!!!!!!!


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## Lamia (Apr 25, 2010)

Jay West Coast said:


> I don't think either of my parents "get it" but I've had frank discussions with them both. They both realise they can't change me, and in general I think they've been [otherwise] down with the women I've brought home.
> 
> _Dad: So what you're telling me I'm probably going to have a fat daughter-in-law someday?
> 
> ...



This made me laugh I would have said "Are you planning on hitting on my wife dad?"


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## Lamia (Apr 25, 2010)

Blockierer said:


> In puberty I had a "secret" collection of magazins (large boobs & chubby girls) so to my parents "secret" delight it was proved that I am obviously not gay  or something unusual else.
> They for sure thought everything is alright with the young boy. Nothing can be wrong with a boy who prefers 100% girls.



omg I LOVE that. I'm a 100% girl that's awesome. It also makes me think about something my boyfriend FA said one time. He said that skinny girls are pretty, but they're like little girls to him and fat girls are women.


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## Fat Brian (Apr 25, 2010)

Thats a common FA-ism, I tell my wife shes a full grown woman in a world made for kids.

My mom accepts my wife but isn't really a big fan, even though it was partly eating disorder/self-esteem issues that drove me fat women in the first place. I never wanted to be with a woman who was on a diet all time.

My dad is a strange case, hes a boob man. It doesn't matter what the woman looks like or what size she is, if theres big boobs its all good. The paysite model Belle that has been showing up here lately, we've met her in real life at a ren faire, her name is Jennifer, he tried to get with her and they were both married at the time. Well, when I brought home a top heavy 17 year old BBW he was beside himself. She would spend the night with my sister and he would take them out without me and sweet talk her, hug her inappropriately, and do anything possible to get alone with her. I married her. I don't speak to him anymore.


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## Blockierer (Apr 25, 2010)

Lamia said:


> omg I LOVE that. I'm a 100% girl that's awesome. It also makes me think about something my boyfriend FA said one time. He said that skinny girls are pretty, but they're like little girls to him and fat girls are women.


What your bf said, it's 100% true. 
Men need women, not boggles.


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## exile in thighville (Apr 25, 2010)

Jay West Coast said:


> Dad: Huh. Okay. You know [/I]I'm_ into thin women, right?_


_

i like how your dad's annoyed at the insurance of him not hitting on your daughter-in-law_


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## MrRabbit (Jun 1, 2010)

I never told my parents explicitely that I like big women. 

My father doesn't really talk much, but I don't think he minds. I don't think my mother approves. She hasn't really been fat phobic or so, but did comment on my ex'es weight sometimes. After I got divorced from her, she once told me that she hoped that my next girl friend would not as big as my ex (who was just a regular sized BBW). I made it clear that I didn't appreciate that comment, that she had many good reasons to disapprove of my ex, but that weight shouldn't be one of them. She then cried and apologized to me.


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## Dromond (Jun 1, 2010)

My dad was an FA and my mom was a BBW. Mom was the classic Sicilian mother, who expressed love with food. When I started dating bigger women (from my second girlfriend on) my dad showed his approval. He said to me, "Son, bones are for dogs. Meat is for men." So, yeah. No disapproval from my parents.


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## Christov (Jun 1, 2010)

My Mum is one of those mildly hypocritical and judgemental people, but she probably wouldn't say anything bad to a bigger girl if I brought one home, at least not to her face anyway.

My Dad is just a blank slate. Truly one of the few people in the world who can never give a shit about anything. I think my Mum just wore down his personality over the years and turned him into an automaton.

But screw it; I really dont care what they think about me dating big girls. Its my life and Ill live it how I see fit.


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## siegfried563 (Jun 1, 2010)

i dont ever recall caring about what my parents thought about the women i like lol, i only date women with good personalities and a good head on their shoulders, thats what should matter to anyone


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## EtobicokeFA (Jun 2, 2010)

Did anyone's family accept them dating mid-sized bbw/bhm, but not ssbhm/ssbbw?


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## The Orange Mage (Jun 3, 2010)

Christov said:


> My Mum is one of those mildly hypocritical and judgemental people, but she probably wouldn't say anything bad to a bigger girl if I brought one home, at least not to her face anyway.
> 
> My Dad is just a blank slate. Truly one of the few people in the world who can never give a shit about anything. I think my Mum just wore down his personality over the years and turned him into an automaton.
> 
> But screw it; I really dont care what they think about me dating big girls. Its my life and Ill live it how I see fit.



Oh yeah your dad is pretty much my dad how about that.

No seriously, me and my girlfriend refer to him as "the robot," and that is pronounced the old-school way like Dr. Zoidberg does on Futurama.


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## mszwebs (Jun 3, 2010)

exile in thighville said:


> i like how your dad's annoyed at the insurance of him not hitting on your daughter-in-law



I like how Jay gets married AND gets a daughter-in-law, all in one shot


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## Qit el-Remel (Jun 3, 2010)

When I told my father that I wasn't entirely hetero, he shrugged and said "okay." I don't think he'll _ever_ entirely accept the FFA thing.


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## The Orange Mage (Jun 3, 2010)

mszwebs said:


> I like how Jay gets married AND gets a daughter-in-law, all in one shot



Yeah he may have flubbed that (probably had once sentence down and rewrote it halfway through without changing the relative [ha ha!] point of view,) but someone rep him for me or something! I get too many good chuckles from those posts of his and I never have enough rep to go around.


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## Kenster102.5 (Jun 3, 2010)

Around 2006 to about August 2008 I was really protective of the computer me and my mom had to share, since at the time she really did not know what I was hiding, and we had tremendous arguments over how much time I spent on it, and it would usually be attributed to me playing to many video games which was about 70%. But in 2008 I started building my computers to get away from sharing, and got my mom has her own laptop now. 

So yesterday, I was just trying to see what my mom's reaction is to porn.

Started out like this, we were watching news and they had just finished with some teacher being found with child porn, not that I myself look at child porn. 

So I said something along the lines while chuckling a bit, "You do not have a clue what I have on my computer, I have a huge collection of porn in my computer." 

Not really any reaction to that, but it was "Is there any child porn?"

"I do not watch or even look at the stuff, I am into the adult stuff, you know"

She surprised me and said "I know you like thick women" she had glimpsed it once back when I was still sharing a computer with her, but I had thought it didn't register.

Then I started to push it "Sorry if some of your bandwidth had been taken up" lol she said "I hope that isn't really the cause"

At one point she said "I would be worried if you weren't looking at porn"

So yeah she knows, but I have yet to even have any relationships with any females what so ever. So who knows what happens when it becomes a reality.

Don't know about my dad's side of the family or even my dad, since he committed suicide before I even met him. I just met my dad's side of the family last December, and I like my Uncle alot.


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## Wild Zero (Jun 4, 2010)

Parents know, never caught any flak for it.

Best moment: @my aunt's funeral last year a cousin who was talking to my mom and dad made a joke about another cousin who'd had WLS and gained a fair amount of weight back. My dad started laughing and my mom got this dead fucking serious look on her face and said "You guys shouldn't make fun of her." And then made eye contact with me for what seemed like a minute.

Uhhh, thanks for the support mom...


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 4, 2010)

Wild Zero said:


> Parents know, never caught any flak for it.
> 
> Best moment: @my aunt's funeral last year a cousin who was talking to my mom and dad made a joke about another cousin who'd had WLS and gained a fair amount of weight back. My dad started laughing and my mom got this dead fucking serious look on her face and said "You guys shouldn't make fun of her." And then made eye contact with me for what seemed like a minute.
> 
> Uhhh, thanks for the support mom...



Your mom... sounds delightful! That is really a cute story.


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## KnottyOne (Jun 4, 2010)

My parents have literally never once given me a problem with bringing home big girls, which is actually kind of surprising seeing how they are both ex-athletes and still total fitness freaks. But whenever I bring a girl home they are welcoming and always friendly, and never say anything about them after they leave unless something about their personality rubbed them the wrong way. So yea, I guess I'm one of the lucky ones


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## KittyKitten (Jun 4, 2010)

I know once I dated a big guy and my mom was like "why do you want him? He's so fat".


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## Gingembre (Jun 5, 2010)

KnottyOne said:


> My parents have literally never once given me a problem with bringing home big girls, which is actually kind of surprising seeing how they are both ex-athletes and still total fitness freaks. But whenever I bring a girl home they are welcoming and always friendly, and never say anything about them after they leave unless something about their personality rubbed them the wrong way. So yea, I guess I'm one of the lucky ones



That's coz you have the coolest parents in the world!


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## freakyfred (Jun 5, 2010)

I think my parents are unfortunately in the "fat is completely unattractive" camp. Dad has said on some occasions that most girls will never go for big guys.


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## Duniwin (Jun 5, 2010)

My mom pretty much approves.
I think my dad accepts it now but will never really understand.


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## NYC_FFA (Jun 5, 2010)

One time I was watching a movie with my mom, and she pointed out the lead actor and said, "Now, that's a handsome man."

...as though I couldn't tell who the handsome/non-handsome men were.

...and that concludes everything my mother has said about my choice in guys.


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## NYCGabriel (Jun 8, 2010)

My mother was a model in Colombia in the 50s and early 60s. She was quite beautiful and waif like. She's so intolerant about BBWs it's sickening. She's even passive aggressive about my weight despite the fact I carry it well (6'1, 2 and 250 lbs). As for my dad, well he was a jerkoff who cheated on her.

it's infuriating!


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## AtlantisAK (Jun 8, 2010)

I'm posting here for my boyfriend. I let him read this forum and make his own vote. He says that it's his mother, out of all his relatives, that gives him a hard time. Everyone else has no problem what so ever.

John has always had fat girlfriends and every time she's nit-picked them to death about their weight, so much that they began to practically hate her. 

She's now doing the same thing to me, against his and my own protests, and I am now refusing to visit her or have her visit while I am around.

John and I both agree that his mother and I get along great...until the issue of weight, exercise or meal time comes around (we both hate eating at her house because of it). I am far from the typical fat BBW though, seeing as I keep active, can still easily keep up with (and sometimes out pace) other people with house remodelling, woodcutting/hauling and heavy farm work and don't usually eat much more than the average person (I do splurge sometimes!).

But yeah, his mother gives him and I the living hell every chance she gets. She also hates the heck out of my boyfriend's girlfriend (who is within average range) and even her own self! (she's getting older and of course, a little larger)

I have to laugh though, because John's mom is married to a larger man. Not huge, but larger than average, and doesn't heckle him!

My side of the family, since I like some big guys, don't mind at all. My mom is an FA too, and soon to be married to an FA herself!


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## Tmhays87 (Jun 9, 2010)

I'm sure that my parents know on some level, but we've never had a candid discussion about it. To their credit, they've never really given me any trouble about it other than an occasional comment out of concern for health (both mine and my wife's), which I perceive to be genuine and well-meaning.

But yeah, it's never really been a point of discussion, though it sometimes feels like they might have things to say that they choose not to. I suppose that can only be out of respect to me, in which case, I feel sufficiently accepted. :happy:


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## EtobicokeFA (Jun 9, 2010)

EtobicokeFA said:


> Did anyone's family accept them dating mid-sized bbw/bhm, but not ssbhm/ssbbw?



I guess the answer is no!


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## mszwebs (Jun 10, 2010)

Ok. I know where I am posting and this will be the one and only thing I say about this...



AtlantisAK said:


> John and I both agree that his mother and I get along great...until the issue of weight, exercise or meal time comes around (we both hate eating at her house because of it). *I am far from the typical fat BBW though*, seeing as I keep active, can still easily keep up with (and sometimes out pace) other people with house remodelling, woodcutting/hauling and heavy farm work and don't usually eat much more than the average person (I do splurge sometimes!).



I'm assuming you meant _stereotypical_, as I'd bet my life there are plenty of other active plus sized women keeping up with and outpacing people on a daily basis


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## KHayes666 (Jun 11, 2010)

My parents approve of anyone that isn't a crack addict or a destructo. Hell my mom and sister calls me Miles, the f/a from the movie Summer Catch

With that said, I've had plus-sized and supersized girls over my house plenty of times and even brought one very special girl to a few family functions.

My parents always approved of who I bring home or had a "if you're happy, i'm happy" attitude.


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## exile in thighville (Jun 11, 2010)

there's something ridiculous about your mom knowing the names of characters from not-very-successful freddy prinze jr vehicle _summer catch_


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 11, 2010)

exile in thighville said:


> there's something ridiculous about your mom knowing the names of characters from not-very-successful freddy prinze jr vehicle _summer catch_



More the grim realities of parenthood than ridiculous. If you're a parent who allows your children to pick the movies to be watched together at the summer cottage, oh what wonderous car wrecks one might see. My sister can recite lines from "Wa Wa Wubbzy." You can almost detect the words "Help Me" being scratched out on her chest as she goes.


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## KHayes666 (Jun 12, 2010)

exile in thighville said:


> there's something ridiculous about your mom knowing the names of characters from not-very-successful freddy prinze jr vehicle _summer catch_



You know...when one character happens to like big girls and her own son likes big girls, I'm sure a mother's concept of association isn't hard to grasp.

The movie was loosely based on the Cape Cod League which my family goes to watch every summer down in the Cape, which is why its a watchable movie for us. I'm sure there are movies you and your fam watch that wouldn't make sense to the outside world but it has a special "home" factor to it.



LillyBBBW said:


> More the grim realities of parenthood than ridiculous. If you're a parent who allows your children to pick the movies to be watched together at the summer cottage, oh what wonderous car wrecks one might see. My sister can recite lines from "Wa Wa Wubbzy." You can almost detect the words "Help Me" being scratched out on her chest as she goes.



The sad part is you're absolutely right.

My dad still doesn't let me live it down when I chose to watch the movie The Coroner during our vacation 9 years ago.


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## Lamia (Jun 12, 2010)

exile in thighville said:


> there's something ridiculous about your mom knowing the names of characters from not-very-successful freddy prinze jr vehicle _summer catch_



Now I am going to have to check it out. Just looked at IMDB and the guy who plays Riley from Buffy plays Miles....awesome!

I'm not lame...really..:blush:


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## Wild Zero (Jun 12, 2010)

exile in thighville said:


> there's something ridiculous about your mom knowing the names of characters from not-very-successful freddy prinze jr vehicle _summer catch_



the "not-very-successful" is redundant when describing a Freddy Prinze Jr. vehicle.


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 12, 2010)

KHayes666 said:


> You know...when one character happens to like big girls and her own son likes big girls, I'm sure a mother's concept of association isn't hard to grasp.
> 
> The movie was loosely based on the Cape Cod League which my family goes to watch every summer down in the Cape, which is why its a watchable movie for us. I'm sure there are movies you and your fam watch that wouldn't make sense to the outside world but it has a special "home" factor to it.
> 
> ...



I got bad news for you. "Amadeus" is the movie I take a beating for still almost 30 years later. People never forget the movies you forced them to experience.


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## KHayes666 (Jun 12, 2010)

LillyBBBW said:


> I got bad news for you. "Amadeus" is the movie I take a beating for still almost 30 years later. People never forget the movies you forced them to experience.



But....wasn't F Murray Abraham in that movie? lol


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## LillyBBBW (Jun 12, 2010)

KHayes666 said:


> But....wasn't F Murray Abraham in that movie? lol



I know, right??? Dull witted kinfolk.  Nobody's happy unless the movie ends with shooting.


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## escapist (Jun 17, 2010)

Growing up all I constantly heard from my father were stories of these tiny women he dated. I don't know if he was doing that because he noticed I was always dating big girls....but the day I brought home a smaller girl he was ALL OVER IT! WOW she's attractive, she reminds me of your mother at her age (um, ick). My Father is now dead, but I still get teased by other family members from time to time on how I like the full figured women. I don't get it either. There are SUPER SEXY women who are over size 9 and dang hot! (not going to mention my Dims crush list lol) But geezzzz I know guys who think size 9 is HUGE or something. I have a family member who pretty much thinks if she's over size 6 she's got to go! He probably teases me the most.


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## Agent 007 (Jul 10, 2010)

Dad died many years ago and I never heard him express an opinion on fat or skinny women.

Mom is fatphobic. I haven't brought home any fat girlfriends yet, but I've heard her express negative opinions of fat people. Several times I've described women of the type I am attracted to and/or showed her some images of them. Her reactions:

"Ewwww!"
"That woman is probably suffering from problems with her knees." (i.e. because she's fat)
"People like that are a burden on the welfare state."
"She'll die in her 50's"

However, on a few occasions she admitted "Fat girls can be nice." I wonder what her reaction will be if I bring home a BBW/SSBBW.

Edit: BTW my siblings accept my preference.


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## bigsexy920 (Jul 10, 2010)

Im not sure if anyone said this - I didnt read through. but do you think the moms dislike fat women cause their husbands cheated on them with a fat woman? Just a thought.


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## Amarillowave (Jul 11, 2010)

My mother is obsessive about weight and bites her toungue constantly around my 300 lb wife. 

In contrast, my dad, who died a number of years ago, made the following comment when I brought home my then only 200 lb fiance (now my 300lb wife): "Man, she's got great boobs, son. Nice going"


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## furious styles (Jul 11, 2010)

if there's anything to be gleaned from this thread it's that stepdads are pretty much chill as fuck about the fatties thing


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## Szombathy (Jul 11, 2010)

Although my parents are both alive and well, I'm old enough for this question to matter in the same way as the younger folks around here. I would say that my parents never explicitly objected, though I think it was clear my FAness made my mother uncomfortable at times. I also think they were unclear about exactly what I meant, or took it as a kind of side amusement, as if I had said I have a foot fetish or something, which I would take to be very different in kind to my preferences.


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## jenboo (Jul 11, 2010)

Does it really matter? Why should they care and why worry if they don't think fat people are attractive. They are not living your life, you are.


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## MizzSnakeBite (Jul 11, 2010)

jenboo said:


> Does it really matter? Why should they care and why worry if they don't think fat people are attractive. They are not living your life, you are.



No, they're not living their life, but a non-excepting parent can make things difficult on both the F/FA and their gf or bf. There have been numerous stories of parents belittling or making snide remarks to a F/FA's SO when they meet, sometimes to the point that they have to cut off all ties. Yes, live your life, but don't discount the difficulties that can occur.


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## Jigen (Jul 12, 2010)

Both my parents are equally giving me a really hard time. The first time my mother discovered my preferences she was disgusted and even frightened, and my father was pissed off. My colleagues seem to be more open-minded about it, I'd say a lillte curious about the reason for my preferences, almost as if they want to discover something they couldn't have ever imagined to exist. To tell the truth, I prefer this kind of curious reaction, instead of being labeled as a freak from your own parents.


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## MizzSnakeBite (Jul 12, 2010)

MizzSnakeBite said:


> No, they're not living their life, but a non-excepting parent can make things difficult on both the F/FA and their gf or bf. There have been numerous stories of parents belittling or making snide remarks to a F/FA's SO when they meet, sometimes to the point that they have to cut off all ties. Yes, live your life, but don't discount the difficulties that can occur.



Good grief. I meant "non-accepting." lol


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## KHayes666 (Jul 12, 2010)

My g/f came out of the shower with a towel on and walked past both my parents, neither one of them said a word about it.

If they didn't already approve, obviously they do now ;-)


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## Kenster102.5 (Jul 12, 2010)

All I need to say to my mother if she questions it, is that "I never grew up with my dad (divorced and committed suicide not because of me, before I even met him), I didn't do much partying in high school, and that I am a clean cut kid, and it is the way I am. If it really bothers me buy me my house right now, and I will gladly accept rent money. End of dicussion, you cannot change my preferences."

That would hopefully be it, but my mother already knows, and just makes a few small hints that she would laugh it off, or joke a about it. Insults might probably be different, but I don't think it would get that far.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jul 14, 2010)

^^^That's kind of how I was thinking about it all Kenster. If you're out on you're own, what can they really do about it? 

And if being with a fat person is the "worst" you have done, shouldn't they actually be happy? 

Grown ups get to be grown ups. 

*shrugs*


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## ufo (Jul 15, 2010)

I don't tell them. I'm not into dating right now and plus with whatever excess weight I have my mom nitpicks yet she's a good 250. She doesn't like it but complains about it.


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## chicken legs (Jul 15, 2010)

My mom cannot stand Escapist. All of my boyfriends/lovers have been BHM's so weight has never been the issue. She is a bit of a control freak so it really doesn't matter who I bring home.


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## LovelyLiz (Jul 15, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> My mom cannot stand Escapist. All of my boyfriends/lovers have been BHM's so weight has never been the issue. She is a bit of a control freak so it really doesn't matter who I bring home.



So her issue with him also not weight related, right?


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## chicken legs (Jul 16, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> So her issue with him also not weight related, right?



The only weight she is concerned with is the weight of his wallet (financial portfolio) .LOL. I noticed a lot of folks who grew up around the Great Depression are more logical when it comes to relationships. Plus being a big ass white guy and living together with out being married doesn't help either.


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## KHayes666 (Jul 16, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> The only weight she is concerned with is the weight of his wallet (financial portfolio) .LOL. I noticed a lot of folks who grew up around the Great Depression are more logical when it comes to relationships. Plus being a big ass white guy and living together with out being married doesn't help either.



I live with a big ass white girl (weekends anyway) and it doesn't seem to be a problem.

Your mom just sucks lol. Most of my g/f's in life have been piss broke


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## chicken legs (Jul 16, 2010)

KHayes666 said:


> I live with a big ass white girl (weekends anyway) and it doesn't seem to be a problem.
> 
> Your mom just sucks lol. Most of my g/f's in life have been piss broke



LOL..Dude I'm black. My mom is black, 74 years old, religious, and from the South...**cough cough..segregation..cough..cough**.


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## lust4bbbws (Aug 12, 2010)

*I would both but their opinion has never mattered,been on my own since I was 17.*


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## KHayes666 (Aug 12, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> LOL..Dude I'm black. My mom is black, 74 years old, religious, and from the South...**cough cough..segregation..cough..cough**.



*kisses your cheek softly just cuz*


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## blubberismanly (Aug 12, 2010)

exile in thighville said:


> Do your folks give you a hard time about being an FA? Or does one more than the other? Per Carrie's question in another thread.



It isn't something I talk about. But when I was younger they went through my stuff and found printed stories and comics, which they COMPLETELY misunderstood. They woke me up one morning with their arguing. There was some TV call in show on (it might have been loveline) and I could hear my mom having a very loud discussion with the guy. I wasn't fully awake, but I remember her saying she didn't like it and trying to make sense of it in her terms. That's actually why I'm so closeted. It was never brought up directly but their opinions have been made known.


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## TimeTraveller (Nov 6, 2010)

My wife & I were childhood sweethearts who have known each other since we were 7. Our first "date" was probably in 2nd grade when I pulled her hair and she threw grape juice in my face. It improved after that. 

As we grew up, she & I seemed to fit together very naturally in temperament and outlook. I really didn't care whether or not she was fat. It's simply how she was. But I did think it was pretty cool that she just kept growing and growing, both up and out. :smitten:

In high school we officially began to date, and that's when my parents objected. My mother said I shouldn't date anyone so fat because it was unhealthy. My father said no son of his would date a fat girl, and he tried to break us up. He went so far as to call her mother to demand she keep her daughter away from me! I came very close to a full-out fist fight with my father. He probably could have trounced me, but I would have at least torn out a piece of him, so he backed down. My father still tried to persuade me whenever possible to date a nice petite cutie instead, but he no longer actively interfered. He did refuse to attend our wedding though, which was the last straw. From the benefit of several decades of retrospect, I see my father has made many bad decisions in his life, and I can sympathize, but now he must deal with the consequences of his own actions. 

So what to do with parents like that? Choose your battles, and my strategy was to outlast and outplay. It simply wasn't worth the bother to care what my parents thought. They continued to voice their objections, but I simply shrugged it off and refused to engage them in any further discussion about who was or was not right for me. That was the absolutely right thing to do. After the wedding, I moved out of my parents' house and out of their lives, and transferred my allegiances to my wife's family. Finally about the time of our 25th anniversary my mother admitted my wife & I were indeed right for each other. Better late than never! My father still hasn't accepted it, so it can be a little tense at family gatherings. I simply smile and put one arm around my big fat lovely wife. Married more than 30 years, and it only gets better with time.


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## IrishBard (Nov 7, 2010)

this is one of the few occasions when I am grateful that I am my brothers sibling. 

Let me explain. My folks are a fairly relaxed and liberal bunch of people, and as long as I'm happy with who I'm with, they are. Admittedly, my mum has been a little uncomfortable with my g/f, Beth, due to her size, but it's hardly noticable. if there was an issue, they would have told me, but they have other things on their mind.

My brother is... well, a bit more rock and roll than I. He's hoping around girls like a rabbit on heat, and has engaged in some strange stuff with them, often very messy stuff as well. Admittedly, he is younger and more sexually active, but my parents just despair at the fact that he doesn't even clean his own sex-toys, and expects them to do it for him. My relationship with all 286lbs of Beth is small potatoes next to what my brother does, and my parents are thankful for small mercies in that "At least one of our sons has a steady relationship and is happy who he's with."


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## JimBob (Nov 7, 2010)

I haven't yet had a hard time from my parents because I haven't yet told them about it and never brought a big girl home (though that's more to do with my communication problems in adolescence). I suspect they might already know - occasionally there have been some slip-ups - but hey're not open about it and neither am I.

Curiously enough, though, I'm respectful of this in a way that others on this board wouldn't be, because it's a psychological issue. Both of my parents as intellectual liberals see being very big as, not necessarily ugly, but certainly very unhealthy. Being a little overweight is alright for others, but not for them - they've both been trying to lose weight for some time now. My Mum has had many issues with her family over the years, not least that her Mother and older Sister are both obese and both a little crazy about food - they used to focus every family gathering about going to find a place to eat, and my grandmother is constantly giving us lots of food to take home when we visit. So my being interested in BBWs rather than just relatively chubby girls would probably cause a bit of a psychological backlash - at the very least, some behind-the-back teasing.

My advantage is that I'm 'bi' about this - I like girls of both body sizes, and I'm more interested in personality - so I can pretty much aim for someone to whom my family will be welcoming. My last gf was normal-looking, but she has a fantastically cute belly she's trying to work off - if we'd have stayed together, my family would have loved her for her personality and sympathised with that problem.


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## CastingPearls (Nov 7, 2010)

JimBob said:


> I haven't yet had a hard time from my parents because I haven't yet told them about it and never brought a big girl home (though that's more to do with my communication problems in adolescence). I suspect they might already know - occasionally there have been some slip-ups - but hey're not open about it and neither am I.
> 
> Curiously enough, though, I'm respectful of this in a way that others on this board wouldn't be, because it's a psychological issue. Both of my parents as intellectual liberals see being very big as, not necessarily ugly, but certainly very unhealthy. Being a little overweight is alright for others, but not for them - they've both been trying to lose weight for some time now. My Mum has had many issues with her family over the years, not least that her Mother and older Sister are both obese and both a little crazy about food - they used to focus every family gathering about going to find a place to eat, and my grandmother is constantly giving us lots of food to take home when we visit. So my being interested in BBWs rather than just relatively chubby girls would probably cause a bit of a psychological backlash - at the very least, some behind-the-back teasing.
> 
> My advantage is that I'm 'bi' about this - I like girls of both body sizes, and I'm more interested in personality - so I can pretty much aim for someone to whom my family will be welcoming. My last gf was normal-looking, but she has a fantastically cute belly she's trying to work off - if we'd have stayed together, my family would have loved her for her personality and sympathised with that problem.


So does that mean that you'll be basing your choice on a partner/s by what your family deems acceptable (both for you and themselves?) rather than what you actually want? 

The crazy about food thing kind of bothers me, notwithstanding the fact that there are many people here on Dims who love food, food talk, culture etc. and find it comforting and even sexy. The very first act of love every one of us experiences is nourishment from our mother's bodies. Is it any wonder that if we don't consciously or uncounsciously recognize, acknowledge and embrace it? And what does that say about the individuals who reject it? Who think it's wrong to enjoy food as much as we do or would like? What is so good about being so much in control when it seems those who are in control are really panicking that they might lose control? They're not in control to me at least. They're in a constant battle with themselves over modifying or fixing what they think is wrong when there may be nothing wrong. It's one thing to desire enlightenment and personal growth (for lack of a better word) but what exactly is crazy or wrong with possibly being so in touch with your own very basic even primative needs that you feed those needs? 

I think of the phrase 'she let herself go' and I often wonder, really, what's so bad about letting go? What is letting go? Do you (or they) really know how active or fit many fat people are? Is there a fat type that is more acceptable than another? Who decides? Do you let others decide for you? Have you also considered the idea that many fat people are very happy exactly as they are and don't need anyone's sympathy, approval or authorization?

Please don't think I'm attacking you at all. I appreciate your candor and I even understand your respect and thoughtfulness with regard to your parents but I think you might benefit from other viewpoints. Just because your parents have issues (or take issue) doesn't mean they're right or that theirs is the only way and it doesn't mean they have to be your issues too.


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## JimBob (Nov 7, 2010)

Oh, I have considered other viewpoints, and no-one's stopping me from dating whoever I want - I'm just of a very democratic mindset, and I'll compromise whenever I want to. 

Also, I meant 'crazy' as in obsessive. There isn't a huge amount of love or enjoyment other than the normal levels there, it's more as if we HAVE to have a meal no matter where we go, and it's...unsettling.


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## lovelocs (Nov 7, 2010)

My family is both fatphobic, and fat.  I don't talk to my family about my preferences, because I know what they'll say, and it doesn't matter. I'm grown and don't ask for anything, so they can't say anything.

At every gathering, after having eaten, my aunts talk about how we make food too much of an emphasis, and how we should just be getting together with one another for the sake of the occasion, and one another's company. A statement that I hear after a meal is "I'm so stuffed, I don't think I'll ever eat again..." Actually, at this point, it makes me angry to hear it. We all know we'll be eating breakfast in the morning, and lunch at noon, and we should know there's nothing wrong with that.

I think being food crazy is not about eating, or liking to eat socially. Cultures all over the world mark celebrations with feasting, or express friendships with the sharing of food. The French state this with the term "copain," or friend, meaning one with whom one shares bread. Food can be and has been used to strengthen social bonds. I think the real food crazy is a conflicted attitude towards food. Needing and wanting to eat and experience pleasure and satisfaction, but then feeling guilty about having partaken. Feeling we are not worthy, or that we take "too much." That, to me, is crazy and sad.


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## CastingPearls (Nov 7, 2010)

lovelocs said:


> My family is both fatphobic, and fat.  I don't talk to my family about my preferences, because I know what they'll say, and it doesn't matter. I'm grown and don't ask for anything, so they can't say anything.
> 
> At every gathering, after having eaten, my aunts talk about how we make food too much of an emphasis, and how we should just be getting together with one another for the sake of the occasion, and one another's company. A statement that I hear after a meal is "I'm so stuffed, I don't think I'll ever eat again..." Actually, at this point, it makes me angry to hear it. We all know we'll be eating breakfast in the morning, and lunch at noon, and we should know there's nothing wrong with that.
> 
> I think being food crazy is not about eating, or liking to eat socially. Cultures all over the world mark celebrations with feasting, or express friendships with the sharing of food. The French state this with the term "copain," or friend, meaning one with whom one shares bread. Food can be and has been used to strengthen social bonds. I think the real food crazy is a conflicted attitude towards food. Needing and wanting to eat and experience pleasure and satisfaction, but then feeling guilty about having partaken. Feeling we are not worthy, or that we take "too much." That, to me, is crazy and sad.


You said it better than I could. So much conflict. So much pain and confusion.


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## thirtiesgirl (Nov 7, 2010)

My mom, a single parent, is disapproving of every guy I date, whether he's fat or not. She simply mistrusts and has borderline hatred for all men (in my opinion). In comparison to stories I've heard of other people's parents when it comes to fat issues, though, my mom is pretty low-key. She's said one or two things about my weight in the past, and will still occasionally make mention of it, but she's never done anything like withhold money, disinherit me, try to control my food intake, or say things like, "I'll give you $1,000 if you go to the gym and lose 80 lbs," as I've heard from other people with fat hating parents. She's done plenty of other wrong things when it comes to parenting, but that kind of fat hatred is not one of them.

And I think my mom knows that she really _can't_ say anything to me when it comes to my weight for several reasons. One, she's fat, too (although she's not my biological parent, she and I share a similar body type). And two, she and I are both fat largely because in my mom's house, food is the only physical pleasure that's ok. There are other reasons, like our gene pools, but that's exacerbated by the fact that we both like to eat and both learned the behavior pattern that food is the only 'good' physical pleasure. I don't know where my mom learned it, but I learned it from her. I'm guessing she adopted eating as her coping strategy because she's so repressed when it comes to any other physical pleasures. Sex is 'evil' according to her, as is masturbation, or any physical contact with another person (hugs, affection, etc). She also doesn't think things like massages, pedicures and spa treatments are necessary to help oneself feel good. But since physical pleasure is a human need, my mom turned to food and I learned it from her. Which is why I think she generally keeps her mouth shut when it comes to my weight. I'm following her example and I know that in some very psychologically unhealthy way, she takes it as a compliment.

As yet, I've never experienced overt fat hatred from the parents of any guy I've dated. I think my college/post-college boyfriend's parents had a little bit of it, particularly his dad and step-mom, but they did it in a very subtle way. Both his mom and step-dad and dad and step-mom live in the Bay area, near SF. His dad and step-mom had the bigger house, with a large basement that had been turned into guest quarters, so that's usually where we stayed when we visited them. His step-mom was quite the interesting character in an almost Stepford Wife kind of way. She always cooked very healthful meals and often talked about the caloric content, cholesterol or health benefits of what she'd prepared, almost like she was subtly trying to send me a message. I remember on one visit, the boyfriend and I drove into SF to see some friends and stopped for burritos on the way back. When we arrived at step-mom's house, she made some comment like, "I'm sure you won't want any dinner after those fatty burritos."

One time, his dad and step-mom came to visit us shortly after we'd moved in together, and I suggested we take them to a very nice Mexican restaurant in my hometown. Rather than order any of the specialties like chile rellenos, enchiladas or the taco or burrito platters, they just ordered some potato appetizers and wouldn't eat anything else. I know their behavior wasn't directed at me, but I thought it was ridiculous to take them to a nice restaurant, which they agreed to, and then not want to eat anything on the menu.

That's the worst I've experienced so far, which really isn't much to complain about. I'm sure if I'd stayed with that boyfriend, though, his step-mom would have eventually made her 'concern' about my weight quite obvious. I think his mom and step-dad were just glad that he was dating, and his mom wasn't a very thin person either. They were kind of in their own world, though, and not very aware of the struggles I was having when I agreed to go hiking with them on a camping trip I made with his family when we first started going out. That was mostly my own fault, though. I shouldn't have agreed to go hiking...or really, to go camping with them at all. I've never been an outdoorsy gal, so it really isn't my thing, no matter what I weigh.


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## extra_m13 (Nov 10, 2010)

dad is indifferent. my mom always is negative about chubby girls, not to mention fat. however i think she already accepted the fact that i love fat gaining girls


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## FFAKAT (Nov 12, 2010)

they just hope i don't marry a soon to be immobile guy!


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## natepogue (Nov 15, 2010)

Interesting thread and replies
Who knows, I'm in the closet and don't plan on ever coming out.


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## LovelyLiz (Nov 15, 2010)

natepogue said:


> Interesting thread and replies
> Who knows, I'm in the closet and don't plan on ever coming out.



Why is that?


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## natepogue (Nov 15, 2010)

I think my mom is kind of a fat-hater, she always comments on girls who are MUCH thinner than the women I like. (Kelly Clarkson wearing a shirt showing her stomach, my mom comments that she is too heavy to be wearing that :doh 

Also I'm avoiding dozens of awkward moments where I'm out in public with parents and a woman on a motor scooter rides by and I get shot a look to see if I'm ogling or something. I don't want that shit in my life.


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## LovelyLiz (Nov 15, 2010)

natepogue said:


> I think my mom is kind of a fat-hater, she always comments on girls who are MUCH thinner than the women I like. (Kelly Clarkson wearing a shirt showing her stomach, my mom comments that she is too heavy to be wearing that :doh
> 
> Also I'm avoiding dozens of awkward moments where I'm out in public with parents and a woman on a motor scooter rides by and I get shot a look to see if I'm ogling or something. I don't want that shit in my life.



Do you plan to date fat girls but just not ever state that it's your preference, or do you plan to date thin girls? I'm just trying to figure out exactly what you mean by "never coming out" of the FA closet.


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## natepogue (Nov 15, 2010)

mcbeth said:


> Do you plan to date fat girls but just not ever state that it's your preference, or do you plan to date thin girls? I'm just trying to figure out exactly what you mean by "never coming out" of the FA closet.



I've already brought home a girl that was quite curvy. She was a definite pear, but a small one (5'9 and maybe 170) 

For some reason her and my mom were talking one night, probably the 3rd time I had brought her over, and she asked my mom if she thought she was fat and my mom said "you look healthy" 
it was bittersweet looking back, probably hurt the girls feelings. 
I dated that girl for 5 months and never once mentioned liking fat girls to her, although she knew I loved her big butt and soft tummy. 

So yes, I do plan on bringing big gals around, but I'm not ever going to say I'm an FA or that I enjoy SSBBW too. Showing is far better than telling.


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## The Orange Mage (Dec 11, 2010)

I told my mom in a conversation a few days ago. She...kinda loves it? She can't stand the whole "size-zero worship" type stuff about society. Tempted to tell her it's not that different on this side of the fence for some guys, just a a different standard. :\


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## disconnectedsmile (Dec 12, 2010)

natepogue said:


> So yes, I do plan on bringing big gals around, but I'm not ever going to say I'm an FA or that I enjoy SSBBW too. Showing is far better than telling.


parading around your trophy women, while you, in your words, "avoid dozens of awkward moments" by staying in the closet, which is likely because you're ashamed of your preference. 
what a gentleman.


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## natepogue (Dec 12, 2010)

disconnectedsmile said:


> parading around your trophy women, while you, in your words, "avoid dozens of awkward moments" by staying in the closet, which is likely because you're ashamed of your preference.
> what a gentleman.



I'm not talking about parading around trophy women. I'm talking about dating a girl and bringing her home as I have done before. You didn't even understand what I wrote. I was talking about the fact that I'd rather continue bringing home girls with the larger body types, than tell my family "I like fat women". 

Showing > Telling

If you consider that parading a woman around, and ungentlemanly, then sorry for you, bud.


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## KHayes666 (Dec 13, 2010)

disconnectedsmile said:


> parading around your trophy women, while you, in your words, "avoid dozens of awkward moments" by staying in the closet, which is likely because you're ashamed of your preference.
> what a gentleman.



I'm gonna have to agree with Nate on one thing, Showing > Telling. My parents have never objected to anyone I brought home however I never told my parents flat out that I liked big girls. I've brought home enough that they could figure it out, hell my mom and my sister get a kick out of it. They call me "Miles" referring to the F/A character in Summer Catch.

If my someone simply asked me "do you like fat girls" its always a "yes" answer no matter who's asking. I'll never understand being a closet case to your parents but that's just me.


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## disconnectedsmile (Dec 13, 2010)

KHayes666 said:


> I'll never understand being a closet case to your parents but that's just me.





KHayes666 said:


> however I never told my parents flat out that I liked big girls.


explain, please.


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## Jon Blaze (Dec 13, 2010)

KHayes666 said:


> I'm gonna have to agree with Nate on one thing, Showing > Telling. My parents have never objected to anyone I brought home however I never told my parents flat out that I liked big girls. I've brought home enough that they could figure it out, hell my mom and my sister get a kick out of it. They call me "Miles" referring to the F/A character in Summer Catch.
> *
> If my someone simply asked me "do you like fat girls" its always a "yes" answer no matter who's asking. I'll never understand being a closet case to your parents but that's just me*.



That's the magic for me. If you can do that, then I really don't think calling one closeted is valid. But if you deny it? That's when I think it's debatable personally.


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## KHayes666 (Dec 14, 2010)

disconnectedsmile said:


> explain, please.



I never HAD to flat out say I liked big girls because I brought home enough that they'd get the message. If they ever did ask I'd be like "um, DUH!"

That's what I meant when i agreed with Showing > Telling.


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## HayleeRose (Dec 14, 2010)

I have to agree with the Showing>telling thing. I mean if a guy prefered to date asian girls, or white girls, or black girls, exclusivly, would you think they needed to come out and tell everyone? Or is'nt it just kind of like an obvious thing if thats all you see them with? 

They are not closeted if there opend about it. I mean if they only prefered to be with a fat girl/guy behind closed doors and not go out in public with them, then thats a different story.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Dec 14, 2010)

i am VERY thankful for having a VERY understanding mom who is pretty cool about most things.i just think she wants me to be happy,i think she knows im a FA.i mean it is pretty obvious.


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## iglooboy55 (Dec 14, 2010)

They were both horrified. God forbid I'm different from the other kids.
I love elitist parents.


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## Fox (Apr 20, 2011)

No one in my family accepts it. None of my friends accept it. You guys here are pretty cool, but that's about it.

It use to mean a lot to me what people think. But I realize that nobody really has my best interest in mind, and they all piss me off most of the time. I shouldn't let anybody control my life, and I really should start seeking out relationships that will make me happy, instead of finding relationships to make someone else happy.


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## KHayes666 (Apr 20, 2011)

Fox said:


> No one in my family accepts it. None of my friends accept it. You guys here are pretty cool, but that's about it.
> 
> It use to mean a lot to me what people think. But I realize that nobody really has my best interest in mind, and they all piss me off most of the time. I shouldn't let anybody control my life, and I really should start seeking out relationships that will make me happy, instead of finding relationships to make someone else happy.



The last line is most important.

Don't let others dictate how you live. Eventually you'll find someone that will accept you for who you are even if the majority don't.


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## zududess (Apr 22, 2011)

I haven't told my parents, because I really don't know what will happen. It really is a small chance that my mother would accept it. My father would probably just laugh (possibly akwardly as I've long suspected him to be FA also, looking back at his previous wives/dates...)

My stepfather I'm not too sure about, he knows some things about me which my mum still dosen't which he is fine with, so this might be ok as well, although this is a subject he's a little more touchy about because hes always been a little overweight (not fat by any means though) and along with my mother, desperatley tried to lose it for the last 10 years or so.

My mother is the biggest risk by far. She's been rather large her whole adult life (320lbs at peak, about 240-260lbs now) and tried every diet on the face of the earth for at least a week. She is still, along with my stepfather, on what I would call an obsession, weighing out everything they eat, logging each and every calorie and gram of fat in each and every meal, and calculating their weigh-ins, etc. (How is that making their life, as they put it, "more enjoyable"?). She has always told me to never get fat as it "ruins your life". As a young child I did always used to play with her tummy (me at the time not yet realising what that could mean in the future), so she might bring it back to that if she does find out.

She has, also told me that "it would take a lot to suprise her", saying if I ever told her I was "gay or something" she wouldn't mind, as long as I was happy, which is the only thing still making me consider letting it out to them.


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## Zandoz (Apr 22, 2011)

My family absolutely adore my wife. If my father had been alive when we got together, he would have hated her....not because of her size, but because she is a woman with a mind of her own, who refuses to be bullied.


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## HeavyDuty24 (Apr 23, 2011)

Fox said:


> No one in my family accepts it. None of my friends accept it. You guys here are pretty cool, but that's about it.
> 
> It use to mean a lot to me what people think. But I realize that nobody really has my best interest in mind, and they all piss me off most of the time. I shouldn't let anybody control my life, and I really should start seeking out relationships that will make me happy, instead of finding relationships to make someone else happy.




completely agree with you man! and remember true freinds would WANT you to be happy.


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## J34 (Apr 23, 2011)

People in my family would most likely not mind or care at all. Although chances of bringing anyone to my home will be a big question mark, since my mother is one of those "Jesus fanatics".

On the other hand, my friends are the only ones that will most likely give me a rough time about it.


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## velia (Apr 23, 2011)

natepogue said:


> So yes, I do plan on bringing big gals around, but I'm not ever going to say I'm an FA or that I enjoy SSBBW too. Showing is far better than telling.



Exactly! Why make a big verbal deal about it? If you make a big deal about it, you set the tone that it is, indeed, a big deal. If you say nothing and show up with your fat girlfriend and act like it's not a big deal (because it's not), your parents may be less likely to react poorly. Even if they fulfill all your greatest fears, at least you didn't set the stage for it being a big freaking catastrophe, and you can handle it from there.

I've always been far more attracted to fat people, and I've treated all parental encounters with my significant others just this way. Thankfully for my parents, they haven't ever said anything about it. Not only would it be hypocritical (they're both fat), but they know my stance on fat acceptance and they know they'd get a big factual lecture from me for being rude.


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## Azrael (Apr 23, 2011)

Know? Nobody knows in my family and frankly I'm fine with that.

Hell, my mom even gave me the "gay talk" (that's what I call it) because I don't express any preference AT ALL around my family so there's a heavy assumption that I'm gay (I'M NOT).

That being said, I wouldn't really think it's anyone's business but my own whom I like, date, and/or sleep with.

I couldn't give a damn who my mother, sister, father, whomever sleeps with.
That is nobodies business but the parties involved and it frankly, really annoys me why people should care who I am dating and even if it is a guy, girl, or someone of transgender.

Whether they will disapprove or approve I couldn't care less.
It's not their life it is mine, if they don't approve they can go take a hike.


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## luvbigfellas (Apr 23, 2011)

I don't discuss these sorts of things with my parents. I'm sure my mom probably knows it, since BHMs are pretty much the only guys I've brought home to meet her. But, as long as the man treats me right (y'know, manners, respect and the like), I don't think she gives a crap.

But, I'm one of the smaller people in my family, so that might have something to do with the size acceptance. Most of my relatives are bigger people. (I'm adopted.)


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## StaySafeTonight (Apr 24, 2011)

If I got flack from anyone, it was from my friends- who only insulted an ex of mine because we for a few years and she turned out to be... well- a dangerously unstable sociopath. So I don't think that really counts :x

But really, I never got ANY flack from parents, or any relatives- and when things were going well my friends were extremely supportive. They all know my preferences anyway- it's anything but a secret.

In fact- the girls I've dated have gotten more flack for dating such a thin fellow than I've had for dating a fat woman!


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## Jah (May 28, 2011)

My dad would disapprove of anyone I'm with. My mum doesn't care.


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## Diana_Prince245 (May 28, 2011)

My mother shares my preference for tall, dark haired, slightly underweight men.

My biological father, who fits all of the family criteria, always thinks my sisters and I should be with Arnold types and gives us shit about liking "girly boys."

He wonders why we don't visit more often.


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## svenmad2164 (May 31, 2011)

When i came out of the fat closet to my mom,she said to me I needed the Lord and Jesus and I tried to tell people in my preference but they all laughed at me and I began to not trust people at all and i wish the internet came out in the mid 
80s then i would not feel so alone back then like i do now,because i lost a good friend and lover 10 years ago and she was 360 and I miss her alot,and the other bbw was 369 but i was not physically attracted to her it is this strange for a FA?
Sven


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## CurvaceousBBWLover (Jun 3, 2011)

Honestly, I am too old to worry about it. We all have to be happy and find love.


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## CurvaceousBBWLover (Jun 3, 2011)

Lamia said:


> This made me laugh I would have said "Are you planning on hitting on my wife dad?"



OMG This is so funny!


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