# ssbbw reality



## jdswangun (Dec 16, 2010)

I hope that you may be able to answer a few questions that I have. First of all, I have a girlfriend that is fat. I know that she is comfortable with her weight but I want her to know that I love how fat she is. She would not take kindly to me saying that I love how huge her belly is but I was wondering if you had any suggestions as to how I could let her know how much I enjoy her fat. Secondly I was wondering if you had any ideas as to how I could suggest the idea of gaining to her. I dont really want to be a feeder but I would like to encourage her to get bigger. I feel that fat is the most feminine thing.
I am glad that there are obese women in the world. It shows that people should be able to do what they want without fearing what other people think. 
I was also wondering if you could tell me some of the challenges that face people with such enhanced natural and beautiful proportions as many of the ladies on this site are.


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## shaneygirls (Dec 17, 2010)

"I am glad that there are obese women in the world. It shows that people should be able to do what they want without fearing what other people think." 

Sounds like you should try to talk more with your girlfriend... Let her know how you feel. Relationships work best when both parties are open with each other... Let her know how much you love her and her body... Tell her how beautiful she is while you are caressing the parts of her you especially love...? Dunno... Good Luck to you!


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## Still a Skye fan (Dec 17, 2010)

I agree...tell your lady you love her and then tell her some more.

See what happens next.

Dennis


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## Tad (Dec 17, 2010)

No advice on the getting her to gain part, but on making it clear how much you like her current size, I say communicate it in a lot of ways:

- Obviously tell her.
- Hug her for no reason, at random times, including when you are out and about in public. Don't go too over the top, but showing that you like the feel of her, anytime, anywhere, around anyone, has to help. (in appropriate places maybe even give a small sound of happiness as you hug her)
- Buy her clothes. Obviously many things need to be tried on, but if you can get her size and where she gets a lot of her clothes from currently (look at the tags) you can buy her a few nice things. This helps show that you like looking at her the way she is.
- Be considerate of her size (her walking speed and range, making sure she can comfortably sit wherever you go, etc). Make it clear that you are not impatient with whatever limits her size may create.
- Get a good picture of her printed up, and have it around your place or at work, show that you like to show her off. Likewise could use her pic as wallpaper on your computer, or whatever. 
- Do some hunting and find some completely ridiculous, frivolous, lingerie that will fit her, the sort of thing used only on the way to messing around. This helps show that you look at her as sexy in the stereotypical male way.
- Give positive attention to all parts of her body. Dont go over the top, but caress her upper arm while watching TV, give a quick squeeze to her thigh when you are driving somewhere, nibble on her neck, massage her calves and feet, kiss her hands, etc. Show that it is not just big boobs and butt that you care about.
- Find activities that she can do and which she enjoys, and do them with her, even if they are not your favorite (does she bowl, does she like to dance, maybe go swimming, etc). Show that you two can spend time doing things of all different types together, at her current size.


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## Blockierer (Dec 18, 2010)

_I hope that you may be able to answer a few questions that I have. _
*I try it *

_First of all, I have a girlfriend that is fat. _
*Wonderful, you lucky guy*

_I know that she is comfortable with her weight but I want her to know that I love how fat she is. _
*Tell her that you'r not a succer for skinny chicks*

_She would not take kindly to me saying that I love how huge her belly is but I was wondering if you had any suggestions as to how I could let her know how much I enjoy her fat. _
*Tell her how much you love her softness*

_Secondly I was wondering if you had any ideas as to how I could suggest the idea of gaining to her. I dont really want to be a feeder but I would like to encourage her to get bigger. _
*Sorry, I'm not a feeder*

_I feel that fat is the most feminine thing._
*Regarding women, I agree *

_I am glad that there are obese women in the world. _
*Me too*

_It shows that people should be able to do what they want without fearing what other people think. _
*Yes you can, you can love fat women *

_I was also wondering if you could tell me some of the challenges that face people with such enhanced natural and beautiful proportions as many of the ladies on this site are._
*The major challenge is finden chairs without arms*


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## JulieD (Dec 18, 2010)

Sounds like you already know they answers to most of your questions, the only thing i would say is to just dont over push the gaining issue too much. From my personal experience...FAs who push the gaining thing can be just as bad as non-FAs who want the ssbbw or bbw to lose weight. Also keep in mind the toll gaining could take on her body, sure fat can be fun and sexy...but it also can make the things she does now with ease, harder... Im sure that is something that you will be ok with, but when some one realizes that they cant do the same things they could just a couple of years ago...it can be upsetting. So be open with her about what you want, maybe she will be willing to gain for part of the year, as long as you help her lose the other. Basically, if she is willing to gain for you...you need to be willing to help her lose for her...oh, and love the hell out of her...:happy:


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## TimeTraveller (Dec 18, 2010)

jdswangun said:


> I hope that you may be able to answer a few questions that I have. First of all, I have a girlfriend that is fat. I know that she is comfortable with her weight but I want her to know that I love how fat she is. She would not take kindly to me saying that I love how huge her belly is but I was wondering if you had any suggestions as to how I could let her know how much I enjoy her fat. Secondly I was wondering if you had any ideas as to how I could suggest the idea of gaining to her. I don’t really want to be a &#8216;feeder’ but I would like to encourage her to get bigger. I feel that fat is the most feminine thing.


I've been married 31 years to a wonderful SSBBW who is also comfortable with her weight, and she also doesn't take too kindly to my telling her I love how huge her belly, breasts, butt, arms, legs and absolutely everything are.

Luckily Tad's suggestions are exactly what I do and they have worked great, so I can heartily second them. I married my wife for her intelligence and personality, and the fat is simply a wonderful bonus. So I would add: engage her mind, and squeeze her fat. :smitten:



Tad said:


> No advice on the getting her to gain part, but on making it clear how much you like her current size, I say communicate it in a lot of ways:
> 
> - Obviously tell her.
> - Hug her for no reason, at random times, including when you are out and about in public. Don't go too over the top, but showing that you like the feel of her, anytime, anywhere, around anyone, has to help. (in appropriate places maybe even give a small sound of happiness as you hug her)
> ...


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## CastingPearls (Dec 20, 2010)

Tad said:


> No advice on the getting her to gain part, but on making it clear how much you like her current size, I say communicate it in a lot of ways:
> 
> - Obviously tell her.
> - Hug her for no reason, at random times, including when you are out and about in public. Don't go too over the top, but showing that you like the feel of her, anytime, anywhere, around anyone, has to help. (in appropriate places maybe even give a small sound of happiness as you hug her)
> ...


As an SSBBW I can say I'm really comfortable with Tad's suggestions.

The major challenge of finding chairs with no arms is *one* but not necessarily the greatest challenge. It depends on the needs of the individual woman.


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## jdswangun (Dec 23, 2010)

Yes thanks for all the replies. I had thought that asking her to gain would be a little like asking her to lose weight which is why it really occurred to me to see what people thought. It almost seems selfish to ask someone to gain if the idea has not already occurred to them. I do try to let her know how beautiful I think she is and it seems almost contradictory to say 'I think your beautiful but I think you sould get fatter' kind of thing. I also appreciate the weight loss, weight gain idea but I dont think a yoyoing weight is necessarily a good thing. To be honest I'm not that bothered if she goes up or down, but I would love it if she got a lot bigger. That should make sense.


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## Juice (Dec 23, 2010)

Don't mention her weight too much. This will be blocking her from feeling free. Just touch her "fat" parts in a loving way and she will know that you like them. Or you can mention, for example, how much you like her belly during sex but not all the time. If she feels that you like her fat she will feel secure and let herself "go" and get fatter.


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## kentwildt (Jan 9, 2011)

Show your love. Be kind, helpful and let let her feel happy and secure.


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## rubenesquehunny (Mar 11, 2011)

I agree, asking her to gain without it being her idea is wrong, but I would encourge you to tell her you love her and her body and you enjoy all you do together and that would not change if her weight changed so therefore she knows if she does choose to change her weight she has your support, which for me is so important :happy:


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## AussieDude (Apr 10, 2011)

Interesting topic. My ex was fairly short and stocky, and ended up putting on about 15 kgs over three years. It took me about a year to tell her her I liked bigger women, and wouldn't mind if she put on a few kgs, but she didn't enjoy putting on weight.. Even though she liked eating which was strange. So I say just tell her, otherwise its just a fetish, and is she likes it, she'lll naturally make you and herself happy.


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## bobsjers (Apr 10, 2011)

jdswangun said:


> I hope that you may be able to answer a few questions that I have. First of all, I have a girlfriend that is fat. I know that she is comfortable with her weight but I want her to know that I love how fat she is. She would not take kindly to me saying that I love how huge her belly is but I was wondering if you had any suggestions as to how I could let her know how much I enjoy her fat. Secondly I was wondering if you had any ideas as to how I could suggest the idea of gaining to her. I dont really want to be a feeder but I would like to encourage her to get bigger. I feel that fat is the most feminine thing.
> I am glad that there are obese women in the world. It shows that people should be able to do what they want without fearing what other people think.
> I was also wondering if you could tell me some of the challenges that face people with such enhanced natural and beautiful proportions as many of the ladies on this site are.



No two women are the same. Some women love to be told how fat they are, and how sexy the fat is. Other women would HATE it if you even hinted that you liked her fat. You just have to tread lightly and take the cues and know when to retreat.

As far as the gaining, most people don't want to gain. That doesn't mean they won't gain. Pay attention to her relationship with food. Does she watch what she eat? Does she eat whatever she wants? Chances are, if she is not already gaining, she does not want to gain. Bringing it up could spoil the relationship.


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