# Dirty Laundry ~ Fat Addition



## MizzSnakeBite (Aug 14, 2010)

I thought we should have a thread for SS/BHM and SS/BBW to vent about our fat related insecurities and fears. This is just about how we feel about ourselves, our fears for ourselves. Please no judgments about others. 

Often, in real life, we cannot say our fat related fears out-loud since others really don't get it, and/or we'll get the entire 'lose weight' deal. Hopefully, since this is a fat related community, we can say these things since others will be more likely to understand.


Here are the rules :

1) This is for SS/BHM and SS/BBW
2) Speak just about yourself; your fears or insecurities about yourself
3) This needs to be size related
4) No judging each other
5) Please do not offer advice unless someone asks for input or advice. This is to be a safe place to vent.



I shall start first.

I'm too fat to be cremated. This really upsets me. I don't like the thought of being buried.....being worm food... I know I'll be dead and all, but the thought of decomposing freaks me out.


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## Carrie (Aug 14, 2010)

MizzSnakeBite said:


> I shall start first.
> 
> I'm too fat to be cremated. This really upsets me. I don't like the thought of being buried.....being worm food... I know I'll be dead and all, but the thought of decomposing freaks me out.


This is absolutely one of my fears, too. I've wanted to be cremated ever since I was conscious of death and its aftermath. I've no desire to continue taking up space after I leave this place, and to rot in the ground.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Aug 14, 2010)

MizzSnakeBite said:


> I shall start first.
> 
> I'm too fat to be cremated. This really upsets me. I don't like the thought of being buried.....being worm food... I know I'll be dead and all, but the thought of decomposing freaks me out.



Really?!?!?! Damn dude. That was my plan.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Aug 14, 2010)

My fears are:

Being trapped in a burning building and not fitting out the windows to get out.

I fear being in a serious car accident and no one being able to save me because Im too big.

I fear getting an infection that can't be treated because a certain level of anti biotics is toxic, yet with my weight I need a certain amount to be effective.

I fear being in a flood and being too fat to be rescued. Or an earthquake or any other thing. You never see or hear of fat people being rescued. 

I fear not waking up most nights.

I fear I haven't lived my life as fully as I could have.


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## Ned Sonntag (Aug 14, 2010)

Let me assure you that the crematorium in Duxbury had no trouble cremating my late wife, who was in the upper 500s. Let's not spread panic.


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## MizzSnakeBite (Aug 14, 2010)

Ned Sonntag said:


> Let me assure you that the crematorium in Duxbury had no trouble cremating my late wife, who was in the upper 500s. Let's not spread panic.



Everything I've read has stated a max of 350lbs.

I do not live in Duxbury.

This is about stating our fears, not spreading panic. I thought it might be good for us to let out some of our fears, instead of having them churning over and over in our minds.

Geez.


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## littlefairywren (Aug 14, 2010)

My fears and insecurities may be minor for some, but they still concern me....

1. In all new situations going out, I am in a nervous state until I know I can fit in whatever seating is present. That also includes being able to actually get to a seat, if it is in a crowded place. 

2. Even if I fit into said seating, then I worry if it will hold me lol. 

2. I also worry about the cremation over burial issue. 

3. I fear having to need an ambulance one day, and the stretcher not being large enough (I know someone who works for the service, and they dread having to deal with fat people).


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## Dr. Feelgood (Aug 14, 2010)

Ned Sonntag said:


> Let me assure you that the crematorium in Duxbury had no trouble cremating my late wife, who was in the upper 500s. Let's not spread panic.





MizzSnakeBite said:


> Everything I've read has stated a max of 350lbs.
> 
> I do not live in Duxbury.
> 
> ...



I think two good people have misunderstood one another here. Ms. S, in the few years I've been on these boards, I have always found Ned to be a generous and compassionate soul: I think he was trying to console you with the thought that, since cremation facilities for supersized people exist, you may be able to find one and lay your fear to rest. Ned, the line about 'spreading panic' was not well put. I suspect your concern was simply that others might jump to the conclusion that the situation was hopeless, but it came out sounding like a slap, regardless: I'm sure Ms. S. was intending only to express her fear, not to spread it.

I hope the two of you will not write each other off: I enjoy both your posts too much to wish enmity between you. :wubu:


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## CarlaSixx (Aug 14, 2010)

I worry that I'll get even fatter and won't fit into clothes at the store anymore.

I really miss cycling and want to get a bike, but I worry my weight will bend or break the frame, and that no seat would hold me.

I am always afraid of going to the cinema because I'm bigger hip to hip than stomach to butt, so it's more painful for me to sit than someone like my mother.

I'm afraid to go back to my friend's house to swim because the last time we did, I sat on a beach chair and it broke under my weight. It was really old and flimsy, but her parents are health nuts and work in the medical field, so I felt even more ashamed.

I'm afraid to learn to drive because I can't really fit well in a driver's seat. If I got my feet to the pedals, I can't turn the steering wheel because my stomach is so squished against the wheel, but if I sit my stomach comfortably so I can turn the wheel, my feet don't reach the pedals 

Oh, there will definitely be more posts like these from me, lol. Heads up.

Great idea! We all need to vent about this sometimes.


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## AnnMarie (Aug 14, 2010)

I'm not offering advice, but relating my own information. 

I've found many sources (no time for searching them out now) that any size body is crematable, but we take longer because the burn must be slower for longer to avoid issues associated with our extra mass/oils, etc. 

My plan is still to be cremated.


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## LillyBBBW (Aug 14, 2010)

Yeah. CindyG was cremated. Not trying to derails, just putting some info out there.

Ok. My fear is dementia. Demetia runs in my family and I'm afraid that when I get old, I will not be able to advocate for myself and there will be no one to speak for me.


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## BBW4Chattery (Aug 14, 2010)

I share the seating fear. If I go out with friends, I'm always a nervous mess until I see where they choose to sit. I just don't fit in some booths comfortably. I was at an event last spring at a wine shop and we went to sit and I couldn't fit. They were stand alone stairs and tables but they were placed so closely together that I couldn't fit anywhere. I literally had to sit in the aisle. I was humiliated... and I know I was beet red for the duration of the event.

Same fear -- amusement parks/airplanes. I avoid these things b/c of the fear.

I'm afraid the floor will collapse under me. There are a lot of homes in dis-repair that I occasionally visit. I'm afraid the outside stairs or inside floors will break under my weight.

I've been afraid of having something happen and knowing that two paramedics probably couldn't lift me on a gurney.

Medical tests not working... apparently, I'm too obese for an ultrasound to work now. I had to have one in early 08 and I was humiliated... the tech tried for 45 minutes and couldn't see through my fat. 

I worry about my skin even if I did lose the weight. I lost 90lbs once and my skin was disgusting. I don't have the money for reconstructive surgery. I get sad very quickly when I think about the fact that I've NEVER had an average body and I never will... weight aside, I also have severe assymetry in my breasts and an autoimmune condition that makes my overall health suck at times. My body issues are all-consuming... on every level... suck.

I have a metric freakton of emotional fears associated with my weight. Don't wanna drop that dirty bomb right now.

Thanks for starting this thread...


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## CAMellie (Aug 14, 2010)

I also have the seating fear but only when I go someplace alone.
I'm always paranoid the seat of my pants will split while I'm in public...no matter how loose the pants are.
I have an actual diagnosed SAD because of my fear that EVERYONE is staring at me and whispering about how fat and hideous I am.
I get extremely embarrassed about the dip in my side of the bed even though I share the bed with my honest-to-goodness FA fiance.


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## thirtiesgirl (Aug 14, 2010)

LillyBBBW said:


> Ok. My fear is dementia. Demetia runs in my family and I'm afraid that when I get old, I will not be able to advocate for myself and there will be no one to speak for me.



This. I don't know my family medical history (adopted), but I'm deeply afraid of losing control of my mind. I also fear abuse at the hands of nursing home attendants, since I know it happens a lot with elderly patients with dementia or other disorders where the patient can't control their body or their mind.


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## butch (Aug 14, 2010)

I fear things won't be any better for fat people when I die (hopefully at the end of a long life), then they are now.


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## Weeze (Aug 14, 2010)

I'm afraid to eat in front of people. Like horribly, horribly afraid. It takes SO much energy for me to be comfortable eating in front of people... even people that like fat people. I can't get over it, and sometimes just going to restaurants makes me want to cry. Freakishly enough, one of the first and only times *in my life* that I've been comfortable and ate what I *really* wanted to was at a diner with... he who shall not be named.  DAN. OK?! SHUT UP WE'RE FRIENDS.


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## CAMellie (Aug 14, 2010)

Weeze said:


> Freakishly enough, one of the first and only times *in my life* that I've been comfortable and ate what I *really* wanted to was at a diner with... he who shall not be named.  DAN. OK?! SHUT UP WE'RE FRIENDS.




nevermind...saw the white text...move along nothing to see here...


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## goofy girl (Aug 14, 2010)

Everything, it's horrible. I'm starting to revert back to my old ways and a nanosecond away from being a shut in. And being settled and married and owning a home isn't helping because it's a lot of good excuses to not leave the house. 

Falling down (or, getting back up I guess is the real fear) especially in front of people. 

Sitting. 

That people are only being nice to me because I'm fat and they feel bad for me.

That people are assholes to me because I'm fat. 

That if I lose my job I won't be able to find another one because of my appearance.

That the reason I don't have any friends is because nobody wants to be seen with me. 

That I'm going to fall through stairs or floors when I hear them creaking.

That while I'm healthy now, it will decline and I'll have a miserable life/death. (I know that's normal and happens to everyone, but I mean weight related and early in life)

That when someone driving a car stops and lets me cross they do it just so they can make fun of me when I walk in front of them.

That I'll tear the toilet off of a public restroom wall when I sit.

I could keep going but I don't want to be a thread hog lol


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## CarlaSixx (Aug 14, 2010)

Weeze said:


> I'm afraid to eat in front of people. Like horribly, horribly afraid. It takes SO much energy for me to be comfortable eating in front of people... even people that like fat people. I can't get over it, and sometimes just going to restaurants makes me want to cry.



Same here.

It was one of the things that fueled my social phobia the most. Now, if a restaurant doesn't seem empty or almost, I get panic attacks if I'm being told I need to go in. I don't want people to see me eat and judge how I eat. I don't even eat out with friends in the mall. I can go almost 16 hrs without eating if I have to be in public simply because I refuse to be seen.


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## spiritangel (Aug 14, 2010)

CarlaSixx said:


> I worry that I'll get even fatter and won't fit into clothes at the store anymore.
> 
> 
> I'm afraid to learn to drive because I can't really fit well in a driver's seat. If I got my feet to the pedals, I can't turn the steering wheel because my stomach is so squished against the wheel, but if I sit my stomach comfortably so I can turn the wheel, my feet don't reach the pedals



I already dont fit into store clothes and have to get mine online, 

I share the learning to drive thing to cause of the needing a car I would fit into not always an easy thing just being in the passenger side of most cars can be uncomfortable enough

I also find any going out in public and unknown chair problems thing as well. Although it doesnt stop me from going to group things and the like, and I have had one or two instances of having to ask if there is a chair without handles available, embarassing but better than having to make a fuss ect

Due to the somewhat Isolated nature of my existance atm I have a fear something will happen and I wont be able to get help eg a bad fall or some such lucky for me the only falls I have had I have been able to get up from and done no damage in recent times

that I will never find real friends who wont turn strange or pscho or walk away when they have gotten what they want from me

that while this forum is full of FA's I will still end up terminally single

am sure I probably have more to

hugs


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## BBW4Chattery (Aug 14, 2010)

spiritangel said:


> that while this forum is full of FA's I will still end up terminally single
> 
> 
> hugs



This is a big one for me. Though I'm not so much worried about meeting anyone online as I've not really tried.

So, for me, change it to... 

that while the world is full of fellas who may or may not like fat, funny redheads, I will still end up terminally single

That's probably worse than not fitting in a booth for me. Way worse. So bad it's even hard to admit.


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## CarlaSixx (Aug 14, 2010)

I fear that I already had my one chance at love, and now no one else will love me all because of my size


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## Weeze (Aug 14, 2010)

CarlaSixx said:


> Same here.
> 
> It was one of the things that fueled my social phobia the most. Now, if a restaurant doesn't seem empty or almost, I get panic attacks if I'm being told I need to go in. I don't want people to see me eat and judge how I eat. I don't even eat out with friends in the mall. I can go almost 16 hrs without eating if I have to be in public simply because I refuse to be seen.


Yes! I can go SO FREAKING LONG just so I don't need to do it in front of anyone.


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## spiritangel (Aug 14, 2010)

BBW4Chattery said:


> This is a big one for me. Though I'm not so much worried about meeting anyone online as I've not really tried.
> 
> So, for me, change it to...
> 
> ...




Hugs I hear that even more fun when your mother tells you youd be better off permanantly single anyway


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## indy500tchr (Aug 14, 2010)

CarlaSixx said:


> I fear that I already had my one chance at love, and now no one else will love me all because of my size



Speaking as a 32 year old who has been in love...albeit still unhappily single... you have plenty of time my dear. Remember you can't even begin to be in love somebody else if you don't love yourself first. Please look on the bright side


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## largenlovely (Aug 14, 2010)

having another very damaging fall...and losing my mobility.

the last year of my life i've been doing everything humanly possible in hopes of that never happening again (losing my mobility that is, cuz we can't control accidental falls and such)....i pray that it doesn't ever happen again, but after regaining my mobility and taking control of the situation, the fear has pretty much gotten to the point of a huge driving force.. cuz i never want to have to go back to that again.


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## LisaInNC (Aug 14, 2010)

I am afraid of getting on rides at amusement parks and being asked to get off because I am too big. 
I am afraid of dying before my child reaches the age of majority. 
I am afraid I will never find love because I am the wrong kind of fat or not skinny.


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## Ned Sonntag (Aug 15, 2010)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> I think two good people have misunderstood one another here. Ms. S, in the few years I've been on these boards, I have always found Ned to be a generous and compassionate soul: I think he was trying to console you with the thought that, since cremation facilities for supersized people exist, you may be able to find one and lay your fear to rest. Ned, the line about 'spreading panic' was not well put. I suspect your concern was simply that others might jump to the conclusion that the situation was hopeless, but it came out sounding like a slap, regardless: I'm sure Ms. S. was intending only to express her fear, not to spread it.
> 
> I hope the two of you will not write each other off: I enjoy both your posts too much to wish enmity between you. :wubu:


 I said the Panic thing because someone had mentioned they were having a Panic Attack about it but that might've been a different Thread so if so Oops. Actually MizzSnakeBite sounds like a great name for a Cartoonist's Girlfriend...:bow: But wait I was the one where the local funeral home was jerking me around for 2 days that Katy wouldn't cremate properly and then it was 'Oops actually it was no problem Mr. Sonntag'.:doh:


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## Tau (Aug 15, 2010)

Not being able to run/move fast enough to save the people I love  Sounds incredibly nuts but its an actual terror.


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## Tau (Aug 15, 2010)

largenlovely said:


> having another very damaging fall...and losing my mobility.
> 
> the last year of my life i've been doing everything humanly possible in hopes of that never happening again (losing my mobility that is, cuz we can't control accidental falls and such)....i pray that it doesn't ever happen again, but after regaining my mobility and taking control of the situation, the fear has pretty much gotten to the point of a huge driving force.. cuz i never want to have to go back to that again.



This right here. The only way I manage my weight is through staying active - the thought of losing the ability to move, even for a short time, scares me a lot.


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## Tau (Aug 15, 2010)

Weeze said:


> I'm afraid to eat in front of people. Like horribly, horribly afraid. It takes SO much energy for me to be comfortable eating in front of people... even people that like fat people. I can't get over it, and sometimes just going to restaurants makes me want to cry. Freakishly enough, one of the first and only times *in my life* that I've been comfortable and ate what I *really* wanted to was at a diner with... he who shall not be named.  DAN. OK?! SHUT UP WE'RE FRIENDS.



What upsets me about this fear is how very justified it is  People are so nasty when they see fat girls eating and there's nothing I hate more than drama with my food. Yesterday I was driving to my sisters flat and eating a drumstick in the car. At the robots a car full of boys literally hung out their windows screaming and laughing at the fattie chowing down on a drumstick. Why did I throw my drumstick at their stupid faces!! I was so angry but worse than that is I felt this crawling shame at it too - like maybe I shouldnt be eating in my own damn car. Was so pissed. Hope this feeling ends for you soon Weeze and Carla cos I can imagine how badly it sucks *hugz*


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## goofy girl (Aug 15, 2010)

Tau said:


> Not being able to run/move fast enough to save the people I love  Sounds incredibly nuts but its an actual terror.



That's actually not nuts at all. I think about it too. Saving loved ones or myself to be honest.


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## Tracyarts (Aug 15, 2010)

Being denied medical care because of my size that could cost me my life. Or having to be treated by doctors who either have no experience with large patients or have such deep prejudices against large patients that they aren't capable of treating me properly.

Tracy


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## Lovelyone (Aug 15, 2010)

spiritangel said:


> I already dont fit into store clothes and have to get mine online,
> 
> I share the learning to drive thing to cause of the needing a car I would fit into not always an easy thing just being in the passenger side of most cars can be uncomfortable enough
> 
> ...



I, too can't buy my clothing in a regular store. I purchase all mine online, or make them for myself.

I have some of the same fears.

I dread public groups because I am afraid that there won't be a chair for me, or that I will break a chair in front of people, causing both they and I huge embarrassment.

I worry that I will hurt myself badly from a fall or something and no one will be able to help me because of my size. 

My fear is that my weight is keeping me from realizing my dreams--all of them. Sometimes I use my weight as a crutch or an excuse.

I fear the reaction that I get from people who don't know me. You know...that look that people give you which says "wow that is a really big woman. I hope I never get that big. She's an embarrassment to be around. Look away". I don't want to be afraid to do things or meet new people because of the fear of their reaction to me.

I am afraid that I am letting "who I want to be with" help decide who I am. 

I am afraid that this stage of my life is the most defining one and I will be left with a feeling of emptiness and longing for the rest of my life.

and finally, I am afraid that I will die alone and penniless in a nursing home where no one visits me, and/or cares that I am there.


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## Will S (Aug 15, 2010)

Sometimes it makes me feel bad to hear people that are afraid to eat in public because of what someone might think, or that they won't ever have anyone attracted to them because of their size.

How every many times I say "your beautiful and I am physically attracted to you" isn't enough. And yes its ok to eat your dinner and have desert too!


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## goofy girl (Aug 15, 2010)

Even though someone has the best of intentions, the more someone tells me how beautiful or wonderful or fabulous I am it just makes me want to kick them in the teeth. But that's just me lol


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## CarlaSixx (Aug 15, 2010)

goofy girl said:


> Even though someone has the best of intentions, the more someone tells me how beautiful or wonderful or fabulous I am it just makes me want to kick them in the teeth. But that's just me lol



Same here! lol. It feels more like a back-handed compliment no matter what they say. I don't trust "kind words" one bit.


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## goofy girl (Aug 15, 2010)

CarlaSixx said:


> Same here! lol. It feels more like a back-handed compliment no matter what they say. I don't trust "kind words" one bit.



LOL I mean, if someone really feels that way then I KNOW it already. Actions speak louder than words sometimes. When someone tells me 80 gazillion times that they think I'm amazing or whatever I feel like they're trying to convince themselves...or trying to convince me that they believe it. Or something lol


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## aocutiepi (Aug 15, 2010)

LillyBBBW said:


> My fear is dementia. Demetia runs in my family and I'm afraid that when I get old, I will not be able to advocate for myself and there will be no one to speak for me.




My grandmother and grandfather both have Dementia. My mother is terrified she's next... which terrifies me that in fifteen years it will be my own mother I'm visiting at the nursing home. And that I'm next after that. 

It is the worst thing I can imagine... my grandma is actually in the final stage (unable to walk, talk coherently, incontinence, everyone is a stranger) and I know this is going to sound terrible, but a similarly aged co-worker of mine lost her grandmother this weekend to a two month fight with cancer... and I was jealous. They were two rough months for her family, but I would have traded that in a heartbeat for the last ten years I've spent watching the grandmother who helped raise me die before my eyes in essence but not in body... I still love her and always will, but I hate seeing her that way and I know that if she had known she would be living in an (I imagine) utterly terrifying world where she knows no one and can't ask for what she wants... she would hate it too. As such, this is my fear. How (potentially) awful it would be for me and my family frightens me.

Sorry, I derailed with my personal story... I think.

Continue on, friends.


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## Will S (Aug 15, 2010)

But what if it's the truth. I guess showing it doesn't hurt too. If you say nothing when some one deserves it the thats no good.


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## CarlaSixx (Aug 15, 2010)

Will S said:


> But what if it's the truth. I guess showing it doesn't hurt too. If you say nothing when some one deserves it the thats no good.



I'm much more a fan of actions than words. But I will know when I feel I deserve to hear it. But if it's said too often, it loses meaning, and feels like there's a secret agenda behind _why_ these things are being said. And I don't like that. 

Say it once and that's it, and have good timing. Repeat it and/or use it at the wrong time, and I will not be happy with you and will doubt you from there on out.


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## olwen (Aug 16, 2010)

My biggest fear is getting pregnant. I'd end up with weight related complications, incompetent doctors, being forced to have a c-section and flatlining in the middle of it. I know fat women can get thru pregnancy okay, but I fear I'd be that one that doesn't.


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## Weeze (Aug 16, 2010)

goofy girl said:


> Even though someone has the best of intentions, the more someone tells me how beautiful or wonderful or fabulous I am it just makes me want to kick them in the teeth. But that's just me lol





CarlaSixx said:


> Same here! lol. It feels more like a back-handed compliment no matter what they say. I don't trust "kind words" one bit.



Agreed with both of these.


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## Punkin1024 (Aug 16, 2010)

I, too, have problems with restaurants or crowded places. I am so totally embarrassed when I have to plot a route around crowded tables when others with me breeze by. 

I'm afraid that I will disappoint friends and family when I don't continue to lose weight and get thin. 

I'm afraid I will become diabetic. This disease runs in my family. My whole life revolves around preventing this.


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## LovelyLiz (Aug 16, 2010)

I have an amorphous fear that I can't have a baby because I'm fat. (Yes, I have seen the "fat mommies" blog or whatever; and that helped...but I still do have the fear somewhat.)

But then, I'm afraid that if I do get pregnant, the following things will happen:
-I won't be able to drive because my stomach won't fit behind the wheel of my car.
-I will get some kind of scary fat person illnesses related to being pregnant.

It's a no-win situation...


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## leener38 (Aug 16, 2010)

Tau said:


> Not being able to run/move fast enough to save the people I love  Sounds incredibly nuts but its an actual terror.



OMG yes! While I try to stay active, there's always that possility that I won't get there in time. Or worse, not be able to save myself!

P.S.: I love your slashy icon!


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## CarlaSixx (Aug 16, 2010)

I'm afraid that I'll never be allowed to chase my dreams because of how fat I am. It's what's paralyzing me already, right now.


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## Tau (Aug 16, 2010)

leener38 said:


> OMG yes! While I try to stay active, there's always that possility that I won't get there in time. Or worse, not be able to save myself!
> 
> P.S.: I love your slashy icon!



Kirk/Spock Forever!!


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## Cat (Aug 16, 2010)

When I worked on the 24th floor of one building and lived in the 19th floor of another building, the WTC disaster happened. My fear was being the fatty that was slow going down stairs and blocking other's exit. 

Another stair fear -- falling down a flight of concrete stairs or on an escalator. Been there, luckily survived, but don't want to do it again.


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## CastingPearls (Aug 16, 2010)

I have had to confront many of my fears in my lifetime and soon I will probably have to confront a lifelong one: Flying.

Besides having a fear of heights and being confined in an enclosed place, the very thought of the _possibility _that airline personnel can yank me off a flight because I am fat even if I purchase two seats, or that there can be drama once I'm on the plane, makes my heart race and fills me with dread.

I want to travel. I want to go to London, Sydney, Hong Kong...I want to go on an eating tour of Italy. I want to go to far off states and provinces in the north and arrive a few hours later as opposed to road trips that can take days. I like road trips but that could be time better spent doing things and being with people I love. 

I'm not afraid to take risks and am hardly afraid of anything but this one thing is the hardest of all.


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## largenlovely (Aug 16, 2010)

I've never wanted to have children, for different reasons...but after having read this, i'm gonna add it to my list lol



olwen said:


> My biggest fear is getting pregnant. I'd end up with weight related complications, incompetent doctors, being forced to have a c-section and flatlining in the middle of it. I know fat women can get thru pregnancy okay, but I fear I'd be that one that doesn't.


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## dcoyote (Aug 16, 2010)

too small desks- they are the bane of my existence! I hate having to sit in them and I fear people noticing that my belly is squished against the desk. It's less of a problem now that I'm in college, but it still happens. The worst was when I took my ACTs in high school though. I think those were children sized because even the normal sized individuals had half their butts hanging off the seat.


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## thatgirl08 (Aug 16, 2010)

dcoyote said:


> too small desks- they are the bane of my existence! I hate having to sit in them and I fear people noticing that my belly is squished against the desk. It's less of a problem now that I'm in college, but it still happens. The worst was when I took my ACTs in high school though. I think those were children sized because even the normal sized individuals had half their butts hanging off the seat.



I feel you on this one.. I hated that the desks at my old college weren't consistent.. every time I went to a new room I got nervous that I wouldn't be able to fit in whatever desks were in there.. I was supposed to be starting at a new college this semester and I was sooo nervous because I have no idea what the desks are going to be like there. I'm taking a year off (for a totally unrelated reason) so I don't have to worry.. yet. 

I fear having difficulty finding places to sit in general. I was never really that afraid of it before.. I had trouble fitting in desks & booths and I tried to avoid those plastic lawn chairs but other than that, I was fine.. then in December I was with my friends at my house and I broke a chair.. caught myself! but still, I was embarrassed.. especially since most of my high school friends are thin and a little anti fat. It turns out that the chair was actually the one that was already broken.. it was broken when we bought it but it was usable.. but I think it basically just wore out and when I happened to lean forward in that moment it snapped.. it still was embarrassing though because everyone's first reaction was probably about my weight. Ever since then I get really nervous when I have to sit at anyone's kitchen table chairs, etc. It doesn't help that I have an anxiety disorder that makes me obsess over things, even when I know I'm being irrational.


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## olwen (Aug 16, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> I feel you on this one.. I hated that the desks at my old college weren't consistent.. every time I went to a new room I got nervous that I wouldn't be able to fit in whatever desks were in there.. I was supposed to be starting at a new college this semester and I was sooo nervous because I have no idea what the desks are going to be like there. I'm taking a year off (for a totally unrelated reason) so I don't have to worry.. yet.
> 
> I fear having difficulty finding places to sit in general. I was never really that afraid of it before.. I had trouble fitting in desks & booths and I tried to avoid those plastic lawn chairs but other than that, I was fine.. then in December I was with my friends at my house and I broke a chair.. caught myself! but still, I was embarrassed.. especially since most of my high school friends are thin and a little anti fat. It turns out that the chair was actually the one that was already broken.. it was broken when we bought it but it was usable.. but I think it basically just wore out and when I happened to lean forward in that moment it snapped.. it still was embarrassing though because everyone's first reaction was probably about my weight. Ever since then I get really nervous when I have to sit at anyone's kitchen table chairs, etc. It doesn't help that I have an anxiety disorder that makes me obsess over things, even when I know I'm being irrational.



We are all probably anxious in some way or another about breaking chairs. A couple of years ago I was cat/house sitting for my boss and I broke one of her antique chairs that had been in her family for a couple generations. I was trying to scoot closer to the table and the leg cracked and I ended up on the floor. I was terrified and thought I was gonna get fired for sure. She didn't fire me, but I know she was pissed about that chair cause apparently it was her favorite of the bunch. Now I just make it clear to whose ever house I'm going to that I need a sturdy chair to sit in. I find that to be less embarrassing than the alternative.


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## Paquito (Aug 16, 2010)

Diabetes. I don't want to say that it's a 100% fat thing, just it runs through my family. Both of my maternal grandparents had it.


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## thatgirl08 (Aug 17, 2010)

olwen said:


> We are all probably anxious in some way or another about breaking chairs. A couple of years ago I was cat/house sitting for my boss and I broke one of her antique chairs that had been in her family for a couple generations. I was trying to scoot closer to the table and the leg cracked and I ended up on the floor. I was terrified and thought I was gonna get fired for sure. She didn't fire me, but I know she was pissed about that chair cause apparently it was her favorite of the bunch. Now I just make it clear to whose ever house I'm going to that I need a sturdy chair to sit in. I find that to be less embarrassing than the alternative.



I think I just have trouble advocating for myself when it comes to stuff like that I guess.


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## olwen (Aug 17, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> I think I just have trouble advocating for myself when it comes to stuff like that I guess.



I get where you are coming from, but really for me, it's easier to go to the trouble to make sure there is proper seating (even if it means getting into an argument with someone) than it is to go thru the embarrassment of breaking furniture.


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## thatgirl08 (Aug 17, 2010)

olwen said:


> I get where you are coming from, but really for me, it's easier to go to the trouble to make sure there is proper seating (even if it means getting into an argument with someone) than it is to go thru the embarrassment of breaking furniture.



Yeah, I mean that makes sense.. I've gotten better with advocating for a table (instead of booth) when I go out with people. I wish I could just carry my own chair around forever.


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## HottiMegan (Aug 17, 2010)

CAMellie said:


> I get extremely embarrassed about the dip in my side of the bed even though I share the bed with my honest-to-goodness FA fiance.



I too am embarrassed over my dip. I am saving up to buy a flippable mattress so i can rotate it and stuff.



Weeze said:


> I'm afraid to eat in front of people. Like horribly, horribly afraid. It takes SO much energy for me to be comfortable eating in front of people... even people that like fat people. I can't get over it, and sometimes just going to restaurants makes me want to cry. Freakishly enough, one of the first and only times *in my life* that I've been comfortable and ate what I *really* wanted to was at a diner with... he who shall not be named.  DAN. OK?! SHUT UP WE'RE FRIENDS.



I too HATE eating around other people. I don't eat at parties. I get take out if i can help it. If i do eat out, i never eat half of what i want. I eat very little while at restaurants. I usually get the leftovers to go and eat it at home later. I have a lot of anxiety about food. I have anorexic tendencies if i don't watch it.



CarlaSixx said:


> I'm afraid that I'll never be allowed to chase my dreams because of how fat I am. It's what's paralyzing me already, right now.



I keep putting off nursing school because i am afraid that i'm too fat. I wont fit in the chairs, i won't be accepted into the healthcare profession.. 



Cat said:


> Another stair fear -- falling down a flight of concrete stairs or on an escalator. Been there, luckily survived, but don't want to do it again.



I keep vividly imagining myself stumbling down our concrete stairs at my apartment. I am so afraid that i have an iron grip on the railing even though i can traverse the stairs easily physically. I keep seeing myself tumbling down the stairs, hitting my head and knocking teeth out. All this while taking the kids down with me. I hate carrying Alex down the stairs because of this fear. Thankfully he likes to walk down on his own feet just holding a hand for stability.

I have a big fear of flying while fat. My mom wants me and the boys to come out to Chicago for a visit. I'm afraid to do it. I mean we would take up our own row so i'd only be squished in with two tiny kids but i hate the whole process of travel. If i can, i might even just rent a car and drive out there. 

I get a lot of anxiety over my size. It comes up in a lot of day to day living. Will i fit in that space? Will that chair hold me? I hate being looked at. I have a couple of attention getting kids, Alex for his beauty and Max for his energy and cuteness so i get paid a lot of attention from strangers for the fact that i'm their mom. I am so socially inept that i almost hate going out. Its no wonder i have like NO real life friends. (only hubby is my adult human contact every day)


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## paintsplotch (Aug 17, 2010)

i have alot of the same fears that others posted..

i broke a table once...... i was 7...... i never forgot it... other kids had hopped up on to the table..... i didnt think about it... and hopped up with them....... but i broke the table...... or at least thats what the adults said.. whatever... it was a crappy table... they shouldve thanked me.

i always ask for a table instead of a booth..... period..... all my friends understand this and its not negotiable..... its a mute point. they love me and they ask for me... i dont even have to point it out.

i fear getting fatter. i just recently broke the 300 mark. im somewhere between acceptance at my fate and horrified at how i let myself go..... 

i fear being alone forever. i want to be in a relationship so badly i could just cry. actually, i do cry....... alot..... about being single. but i go out, i go to singles nights....... i force myself to get out there.... ive spent alot of years on the sidelines.... i refuse to die there. 

i no longer fear flying.... i do get embarrassed asking for a seatbelt extender, but i figure its not that bad of a thing to ask for.... i just need a couple inches extra... 

btw... toyotas are great for heavy people..... i find they fit me well. i dont fit in other cars.

i fear my weight is beginning to slow me down and it pisses me off.... 

i dont want WLS... and i dont eat alot...... dammit..... i was just born chunkie. ack.... i can eat salads and low fat everything and still not lose.... (rant rant rant rant).... i fear being forced to have surgery even though i dont want to do it.

i fear no longer fitting in store bought clothes.

i fear no longer finding shoes to fit properly.

i fear rolling over on my dog. 



thats it for now....... :doh:


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## paintsplotch (Aug 17, 2010)

oh and i fear never having kids cuz im now in my late thirties and still havent found THE ONE.... ack!


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## dcoyote (Aug 17, 2010)

I'm rather afraid I won't have kids either, but that's mainly because I barely menstruate. It's like once or twice a year. Plus, I started really late. My mom also had fertility problems and even gave up on having more kids. My baby sister and brother were a huge surprise since she had given up about 6 years before my sister was born.
Sorry for that men.


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## Inhibited (Aug 18, 2010)

I get a bit worried when i have to walk over a Drain cover or Telstra access cover.... not to sure if this has anything to with being fat as i fell down a drain when i was younger as the cover was not put back on properly. Am also worried that i will have an accident and will need to be operated on as i have never had an operation and am concerned that i will die on the operating table due to being fat.....


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## LillyBBBW (Aug 18, 2010)

Inhibited said:


> I get a bit worried when i have to walk over a Drain cover or Telstra access cover.... not to sure if this has anything to with being fat as i fell down a drain when i was younger as the cover was not put back on properly. Am also worried that i will have an accident and will need to be operated on as i have never had an operation and am concerned that i will die on the operating table due to being fat.....



I'm scared of those sidewalk anomalies too.


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## spiritangel (Aug 18, 2010)

Inhibited said:


> I get a bit worried when i have to walk over a Drain cover or Telstra access cover.... not to sure if this has anything to with being fat as i fell down a drain when i was younger as the cover was not put back on properly. Am also worried that i will have an accident and will need to be operated on as i have never had an operation and am concerned that i will die on the operating table due to being fat.....



me too but that is cause I sprained my ankle once walking around looking at chrissy lights with my mum and uncle thank god it was a skinny one so only one leg wend down but I usually avoid them or do one foot at a time


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## littlefairywren (Aug 18, 2010)

Inhibited said:


> I get a bit worried when i have to walk over a Drain cover or Telstra access cover.... not to sure if this has anything to with being fat as i fell down a drain when i was younger as the cover was not put back on properly. Am also worried that i will have an accident and will need to be operated on as i have never had an operation and am concerned that i will die on the operating table due to being fat.....



Add me to this one too. I fell badly because I miscalculated a 1" rise in the footpath. Luckily I landed the right way, because I didn't break anything. But now I have a dread of falling (I trip going up stairs a lot too, because of my short legs lol), and also avoid covers over anything on the path that could mean my weight will break through it. Not just in case I might crack some bones, but it is so damn hard to get up from the ground.

I'm also not keen on eating in public, and hate the idea of strangers seeing me near food, let alone consuming it in their presence. 

Ok, one other thing I get kinda distressed about is perspiring in front of people. I am not one who sweats a lot, but when it gets really hot or humid I hate the idea that anyone notices it. Summer, here we come.

Thanks for the thread, MB....fantastic idea :bow:


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## Tau (Aug 18, 2010)

Cat said:


> When I worked on the 24th floor of one building and lived in the 19th floor of another building, the WTC disaster happened. My fear was being the fatty that was slow going down stairs and blocking other's exit.
> 
> Another stair fear -- falling down a flight of concrete stairs or on an escalator. Been there, luckily survived, but don't want to do it again.



Ja, me too. Fall down stairs fairly regularly. Its terrifying but I never get hurt - not even bruised. Its weird. Escalator - never. That scares the living crap out of me


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## Tau (Aug 18, 2010)

paintsplotch said:


> oh and i fear never having kids cuz im now in my late thirties and still havent found THE ONE.... ack!



Have one on your own babes. Being a single mother is not my ideal either but I want children enough that I'll do it *huge hugz* I just wish I could find somebody else to carry the foetus and actually give birth to it.


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## Tau (Aug 18, 2010)

littlefairywren said:


> Add me to this one too. I fell badly because I miscalculated a 1" rise in the footpath. Luckily I landed the right way, because I didn't break anything. But now I have a dread of falling (I trip going up stairs a lot too, because of my short legs lol), and also avoid covers over anything on the path that could mean my weight will break through it. Not just in case I might crack some bones, but it is so damn hard to get up from the ground.
> 
> I'm also not keen on eating in public, and hate the idea of strangers seeing me near food, let alone consuming it in their presence.
> 
> ...



I've hurt myself falling up stairs - its so embarrassing. Split my lip once and was so shocked I burst into tears - so I was the fat girl who fell up the fucking stairs, then bled everywhere and cried about it. I was mortified. Getting into things - big cars - the kind that are like 6 metres off the ground, carousel rides, boats...I don't know if its cos I'm fat or cos I'm almost ridiculously short but this is always done with great difficulty and a burning face. Whenever I see somebody has one of those huge cars I get this ugly churn in my tummy then I steel myself and clamber aboard.


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## Emma (Aug 18, 2010)

I'm scared about never having kids either.


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## olwen (Aug 18, 2010)

thatgirl08 said:


> Yeah, I mean that makes sense.. I've gotten better with advocating for a table (instead of booth) when I go out with people. I wish I could just carry my own chair around forever.



I'm glad you are doing that. Unfortunately(?) you may be around people who won't want to make the adjustment, so it's a good way to find out who your real friends are. I admit, over the years I've gotten rid of a few people that way, and also because of the slow walking thing. If they are a block ahead of me and don't stop to wait for me or make sure I'm behind them I don't waste time hanging out with them anymore.


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## bigsexy920 (Aug 18, 2010)

They will be better for the fat people who knew you  



butch said:


> I fear things won't be any better for fat people when I die (hopefully at the end of a long life), then they are now.


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## butch (Aug 19, 2010)

bigsexy920 said:


> They will be better for the fat people who knew you



Wow, what a kind thing to say, B. It is truly humbling to hear something like that, especially when it comes from someone who does so much to make the lives of fat people and their allies supremely happier. Thank you, the feeling is mutual. :bow:


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## Lovelyone (Aug 19, 2010)

Tau said:


> I've hurt myself falling up stairs - its so embarrassing. Split my lip once and was so shocked I burst into tears - so I was the fat girl who fell up the fucking stairs, then bled everywhere and cried about it. I was mortified. Getting into things - big cars - the kind that are like 6 metres off the ground, carousel rides, boats...I don't know if its cos I'm fat or cos I'm almost ridiculously short but this is always done with great difficulty and a burning face. Whenever I see somebody has one of those huge cars I get this ugly churn in my tummy then I steel myself and clamber aboard.



I feel your pain. I broke my ankle by tripping UP a curbside, and broke it again by slipping on a rubber boot that was on the stairs as I tried go UP the stairs two at a time.


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## archivaltype (Aug 19, 2010)

CurvyEm said:


> I'm scared about never having kids either.



Same here; one of my best friends (we've been friends since the womb) just got married and was thinking about having kids...her obgyn told her she couldn't because there'd be too many weight related issues...she's maybe 300 lbs soaking wet, and we're basically the same size. When she told me it hit me like a ton of bricks...  
I mean, the doctor was being ridiculous, but still...


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## Tau (Aug 20, 2010)

archivaltype said:


> Same here; one of my best friends (we've been friends since the womb) just got married and was thinking about having kids...her obgyn told her she couldn't because there'd be too many weight related issues...she's maybe 300 lbs soaking wet, and we're basically the same size. When she told me it hit me like a ton of bricks...
> I mean, the doctor was being ridiculous, but still...



I know we're not meant to offer advice here but I have to say - that doctor was talking shit. Most of the women in my family weigh well over 200kgs. All of them are constantly and successfully popping out beautiful, healthy babies, with no problems at all. Fat women can have babies - yes they can! I know there are some problems when the mother to be has highblood pressure etc but that can all be managed. Don't let some fat-hating doctor put you or your friend off having babies.


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## Russell Williams (Aug 20, 2010)

Carrie said:


> This is absolutely one of my fears, too. I've wanted to be cremated ever since I was conscious of death and its aftermath. I've no desire to continue taking up space after I leave this place, and to rot in the ground.



Peggy Williams was about 550 to 589 when she apparently blead out from a cut in her intenstine. She was viewed in a large coffin and then cremated. Her daugther keeps her ashes in an urn with an angel on the top


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## Russell Williams (Aug 20, 2010)

CarlaSixx said:


> I worry that I'll get even fatter and won't fit into clothes at the store anymore.
> 
> I really miss cycling and want to get a bike, but I worry my weight will bend or break the frame, and that no seat would hold me.
> 
> ...




Russell Williams


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## MizzSnakeBite (Aug 20, 2010)

Russell Williams said:


> Russell Williams




Rule #5 from the first the first post:

Please do not offer advice unless someone asks for input or advice. This is to be a safe place to vent.



MizzSnakeBite


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## Russell Williams (Aug 20, 2010)

Lovelyone said:


> I
> 
> and finally, I am afraid that I will die alone and penniless in a nursing home where no one visits me, and/or cares that I am there.



At the church I go to there are members in nursing homes. I do not know what there fincial situation is but they do have visitors and people care and pray about they.

Yesterday the minister asked Louise and I if we would be willing to call some of the shutins on a regular basis. (Because of her hip pain it is hard for Louise to visit those in nursing homes. Louise and I said we would and the minister will be sending us a list. 

He also encouraged us to vist the people accross the street. The daugher has cancer and just found out that her mothre has advanced liver cancer.


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## Russell Williams (Aug 20, 2010)

olwen said:


> My biggest fear is getting pregnant. I'd end up with weight related complications, incompetent doctors, being forced to have a c-section and flatlining in the middle of it. I know fat women can get thru pregnancy okay, but I fear I'd be that one that doesn't.



Peggy Williams was about 480 when she became pregnant and delivered her 9 pound daugher by caesarian when Peggy was about 400. There were no complications and Peggy was about 37 at the time.


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## Emma (Aug 20, 2010)

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Rule #5 from the first the first post:
> 
> Please do not offer advice unless someone asks for input or advice. This is to be a safe place to vent.
> 
> ...



Quoted for truth.


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## CastingPearls (Aug 20, 2010)

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Rule #5 from the first the first post:
> 
> Please do not offer advice unless someone asks for input or advice. This is to be a safe place to vent.
> 
> ...


And bears repeating AGAIN.


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## goofy girl (Aug 20, 2010)

MizzSnakeBite said:


> I thought we should have a thread for SS/BHM and SS/BBW to vent about our fat related insecurities and fears. This is just about how we feel about ourselves, our fears for ourselves. Please no judgments about others.
> 
> Often, in real life, we cannot say our fat related fears out-loud since others really don't get it, and/or we'll get the entire 'lose weight' deal. Hopefully, since this is a fat related community, we can say these things since others will be more likely to understand.
> 
> ...



............................................


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## HayleeRose (Aug 30, 2010)

I fear anything dealing with fitting in a certain sized space. 
(Planes, Rollercoasters, a car with multiple people.) Or like 
sitting next to someone on a bus and having them ask me to move.

I fear going to the doctors, although the one i have now is
pretty good about not repeating the same speach about
loosing weight.

I fear not being able to have kids, I have PCOS which is either 
caused by being fat, or it causes you to be fat, they cant 
make up there minds.. BUT it causes me not be able to get
prego naturally, and pregnancies are difficult.


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## MizzSnakeBite (Aug 30, 2010)

Getting weighed freaks me out. Panic attacks, the whole nine yards. It's not only dealing with doctors and nurses about it, it's that I weigh too much to be weighed on the usual doctor's scale. Having to go through that is very embarrassing, especially when other patients are around.


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## Dmitra (Aug 30, 2010)

People making negative snap judgements on me based only upon my weight. This is getting less painful and more irritating, though, to the point where I've started arguing with folks who seem to be doing it (and say anything to me, of course).

Not being the "right" kind of fat for someone I have feelings for.

Being told again I'm too fat when I'm vulnerable, i.e., unclothed and about to commence sex. I've gained a lot of confidence since the last time I heard this so I might just punch whomever now. The memories still sting, though.


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## paintsplotch (Aug 30, 2010)

HayleeRose said:


> I fear anything dealing with fitting in a certain sized space.
> (Planes, Rollercoasters, a car with multiple people.) Or like
> sitting next to someone on a bus and having them ask me to move.
> 
> ...



i have PCOS also... i was told i probably wont be able to have kids..... but im always willing to practice lmao ... sawry... bad jenny:doh:


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## Lovelyone (Aug 30, 2010)

MizzSnakeBite said:


> Getting weighed freaks me out. Panic attacks, the whole nine yards. It's not only dealing with doctors and nurses about it, it's that I weigh too much to be weighed on the usual doctor's scale. Having to go through that is very embarrassing, especially when other patients are around.



I felt this exact same way for a very long time. I had the awful experience of being asked how much I weigh because there was a weight limit on the CT Scan machine and the person running it was absolutely positive that I was too heavy to have that process done. I had to walk to the other side of the hospital with a bad back cos the wheelchairs weren't wide enough for me and I literally got burned because the wheels rubbed against the metal siding and caused the siding to get hot. I honestly wasn't sure how much I weighed at the time. I was sure I was under 500 lbs. so when the nurse weighed me and I saw the number pop up it was like sticker shock. For a moment I just stood there and thought "Oh GOD that can't be right". I did the little lean to the side to see if I could get the number to change. It didn't change. So I got off the digital scale and then stepped back on (as if that was going to change the number to something more reasonable and more acceptable). It finally hit me that I WAS the weight that the scale had read and I started to cry and I cried hard. I cried cos I was that heavy, I cried cos I didn't know that I weighed that much, I cried cos I didn't know how I was going to have the tests that I needed to see what was wrong with my back. It was a devastating experience and i sat in my car outside the hospital crying for about 2 hours. Something inside me screamed out, "Why are you crying? You knew that you were fat. You knew this day might come. You are human and fat is not contagious...pull yourself together cos you have nothing to be ashamed about." 
The next time I was weighed, I had to talk myself into holding my head up high and I think I even cracked a joke about hearing the spring going boing when I stepped on the scale. Now, I don't have an issue telling someone what I weigh. Its not like i can hide it. In fact, its kind of empowering to not have the weight number being something that I worry about other people knowing.


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## watts63 (Aug 30, 2010)

-I've been scared that if I ever was drowning in a pool (I can't swim), a person wouldn't be able to save because I'm too big.

-Afraid to be in another relationship because the last one used me for her own personal gain & cheated on me with someone thinner than me (she never liked my size).

-Afraid to go out in public without my blue hoodie because of my size (but the truth is it doesn't do shit to hide it).

-Honorable Mention: Diabetes.


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## HayleeRose (Aug 31, 2010)

watts63 said:


> -Afraid to go out in public without my blue hoodie because of my size (but the truth is it doesn't do shit to hide it).



I know what you mean. I feel like when I'm going somewhere, even in the summer time i have to bring a sweater, I know it doesn't hide the fact that I'm fat its like a comfort thing.


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## HayleeRose (Aug 31, 2010)

paintsplotch said:


> i have PCOS also... i was told i probably wont be able to have kids..... but im always willing to practice lmao ... sawry... bad jenny:doh:



LOL . Yea, you never know tho, my cousin has it too and she ended up getting pregnant, soooo who knows. I found out when i was 16, so it didnt bother me much then, but its starting to.


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## watts63 (Aug 31, 2010)

HayleeRose said:


> I know what you mean. I feel like when I'm going somewhere, even in the summer time i have to bring a sweater, I know it doesn't hide the fact that I'm fat its like a comfort thing.



I know what you mean but when I look in the mirror or at my shadow, that comfort level disappears real quickly.


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## thatgirl08 (Aug 31, 2010)

I think the worst thing right now for me about my size is that I get ridiculously exhausted and sore from work. It's gotten a lot better because I'm getting used to it, but I know that if I was smaller my feet wouldn't hurt so bad and I wouldn't be dead tired after an 8 hour shift. 

I also really hate that my size is keeping me back from being as active as I want to be. There's a lot of things I wanted to do this summer with my friends but knew that I wasn't in good enough shape to do (at least not for very long, and I don't want to hold my friends back.) I really miss camping, hiking, going to amusement parks (okay, sorta on this one.. I hate most rides now but I used to like just going to walk around and ride a few things with my friends.. plus the water park when it's hot = <3), swimming at the beach, riding my bike, etc. It's not that I absolutely CAN'T do these things it's just that I know I'll be slower or I won't be able to go for more than an hour without being miserable (hiking/biking) and I don't want to make my friends put up with that. I wish I knew someone around my size & age who was interested in doing those things. 

I'm thinking about joining a gym or something over the winter so I can get in better shape.. I don't really care about losing weight as much as I'd just like to be able to stand for eight hours and take a 2 or 3 hour bike ride without wanting to cry at the end.


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## moore2me (Sep 2, 2010)

Since this thread is for folks to share our fears with each other, I think it would be allowable to open an alternate thread to talk about how some of us have overcome some of the same fears. Or, if we have a *solution* that we were able to muddle thru in our own life. *All are welcome to contribute. The thread will be titled "Washing Dirty Laundry - Fat Addition".*


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## Lovelyone (Sep 3, 2010)

watts63 said:


> -I've been scared that if I ever was drowning in a pool (I can't swim), a person wouldn't be able to save because I'm too big.
> 
> -Afraid to be in another relationship because the last one used me for her own personal gain & cheated on me with someone thinner than me (she never liked my size).
> 
> ...





HayleeRose said:


> I know what you mean. I feel like when I'm going somewhere, even in the summer time i have to bring a sweater, I know it doesn't hide the fact that I'm fat its like a comfort thing.



This is another thing I used to do also. I don't try to cover up and hide myself anymore. Honestly, I think the reason that I decided that I didn't have to cover up anymore was because of my first experience at the Las Vegas BBW Bash. I had never been to one. When I walked into the hotel I saw women who had such self confidence. They were wearing tank tops and short-short, bikinis, sexy and revealing tops, slinky dresses. I looked around in astonishment cos i had always been force fed the crap that big people should cover it up. After a week of seeing all the confident woman (and men) I realized that I needed to stop worrying about covering up for "society" and start wearing clothes that make me feel pretty, sexy, and happy. Doing that for myself was is so empowering. On a side note...how are those men/women who love your size going to be able to appreciate your curves if you keep them covered up all the time?


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## HayleeRose (Sep 5, 2010)

I agree meeting people who are bigger with alot of confidence has really helped me to over come that whole wating to cover up my body thing.


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## mz_puss (Sep 7, 2010)

HayleeRose said:


> I fear anything dealing with fitting in a certain sized space.
> (Planes, Rollercoasters, a car with multiple people.) Or like
> sitting next to someone on a bus and having them ask me to move.
> 
> ...





I have those exact fears, I always stalk out restaurants and bars and plane seats and even my mates cars before getting in to them. I always fear the inevitable moment where i just dont fit ! eeeep ! Im so scared of the humiliation... Slightly irrational but i just like feeling comfy and knowing i wont stand out ..... well i cant help stand out somewhat im 200kgs of massively sexy ... but yall know what i mean :happy:


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## MizzSnakeBite (Sep 13, 2010)

Never knowing if the seat belt is big enough for me. I would get a seat belt extender, but they vary for each make and model.

They really need to standardize this.


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