# FA Myths thread # 3



## James (Oct 25, 2009)

_*"Gaining weight is not a big deal, if you don't like it you can always lose it again"

*_


> *(Please read the following before posting a response)*
> 
> This is the third topic for discussion in relation to the FA board project "FA Myths and Misconceptions". The above myth was suggested for discussion by Tad and will be discussed for 2 weeks in this thread before being edited and ultimately posted to the FA Myths and Misconceptions sticky.
> 
> ...


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## Webmaster (Oct 25, 2009)

James said:


> _*"Gaining weight is not a big deal, if you don't like it you can always lose it again"
> 
> *_



Putting on weight _is_ a big deal. Any FA who would pose this "myth" as a suggestion to a partner is definitely not on the right track. Stated this way, it's manipulative and deceptive.


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## Jon Blaze (Oct 25, 2009)

It's all in how you do it, how far you go, and you as a person. If it's easy for me, it doesn't make it easy for x.

SPARE me the "It's an equation" bullshit. Not that it isn't, but it's much more complex than a lot of people think. Really. Truly.

(Regardless: *Sings* It's not my THANGGGG lol)


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## joh (Oct 25, 2009)

Not only isn't it a big deal, it is often a life changing decision. Especially when reaching the barriers beyond 300 pounds. It is different for everyone, but by that weight it can significant impact on how you live your life, what you can and cannot do, ect..

Before getting that mindset, think about it how weight can affect your significant other's life. Does it affect their work? do they like to play any sports, or go to amusement parks, or sit in boothes, ect..? Only after considering this and discussing it with your significant other can one really judge if gaining weight is a serious, which is can be gleaned is very specific judgment that is different from couple/person to couple/person.


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## rollhandler (Oct 26, 2009)

James said:


> _*"Gaining weight is not a big deal, if you don't like it you can always lose it again"
> 
> *_



This to me is two separate issues.
First off gaining weight may simply be a matter of not paying attention to intake and simply letting it happen. For many this is the case, but I believe that the spirit of the thread topic in question speaks to deliberate weight gain.
In this instance, It is always a big deal involving many potential risks and decisions that must be made. Some of them will be physical risks, some emotional, and if a partner is involved are you on the same page about the entire process including what happens if only one of you is happy with the results. If a person has never BEEN fat they have no realistic basis of context for the experience in terms of how their body, or other people will respond. A lot of time the decision is made based on fantasy and hope of happiness at a larger size. Many times there is a disparity between thinking of how being fat will make you happy and the reality of BEING fat. A person thinks "how hard can it be to live in a fat body?" They don't think their friends or family will react negatively to them at the new larger size, or that anything else will change in their life except their body size. Some don't realize the cost of a new wardrobe or the added wear home furnishings bought without taking size into consideration. They may have never dealt with nor heard the taunts and behaviours of those who are unaccepting of those who are fat. The realities can be devastating, where the fantasy justifies them away.

As for being able to lose the weight later?
This is sometimes more of a challenge than many realize. For many the easier the weight is to put on, the harder it may be to take back off. In some cases simply changing eating habits is sufficient for the body to drop the weight if their metabolism works that way, for some it may take several times longer to drop the extra poundage than it took to put it there. Many don't consider this aspect at the start of a gain thinking that they will be happy fatter and there will be no need to consider an exit strategy beforehand. Also not considered is the strain that will be placed on a body that is already stressed by the added size and what it takes to actually drop a single pound of fat in terms of time and energy. Some find the weight has triggered physical issues that make it harder to work the weight off. Many give up and can't work through the frustration of breaking the habits that got them to the state they are now in, and if their partner likes the fat body they may sabotage your efforts suddenly turning a mutually pleasurable experience with your partner into a "millstone around your neck."

I wrote this from the perspective of a minor to mid level gain. Near immobility or immobility gaining is a topic in itself with a completely different set of issues of health, daily care, and relationship pitfalls to consider. Losing weight after this type of gain may not be possible at all without medical intervention, surgeries and the risks associated.

Deliberate gain is nothing to enter lightly, and losing the weight after, is not always easy or possible.
Rollhandler


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## swamptoad (Oct 30, 2009)

"Gaining weight is not a big deal, if you don't like it you can always lose 
it again"


Easier said than done. And, yet again, not everyone's thing. Quite a manipulative and deceptive concept indeed. But if it is something that somebody wants to try out, then I'd think it wise for anybody to always 
nourish the body with the good stuff and always stay adamant about 
exercise. For those who want to influence another on the above quote, 
well ... they need to understand everything consequential that goes along 
with it.


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## Tad (Oct 30, 2009)

Here is my take on it.

For some people gaining any significant amount of weight is difficult, their body just isn't all that interested in gaining. For those people, losing a bit of extra weight that they've gained usually is fairly easy. However the people that FA are apt to be attracted to in the first place are NOT the people who have difficulty putting on weight. People who gain easily often have a much harder time losing weight.

Also, in general it would seem to be easier for men to lose fat than for women, because when men increase their exercise levels they will develop more muscle (which at the least lets them replace fat with muscle), and then those muscles both burn extra energy and make it easier for them to do even harder exercise, burning more energy. The same happens with women, but not to the same degree that it does for men, especially young men.

So the FA may never had much trouble losing weight that he or she had put on, but their partner may have a lot more difficulty (especially in the combination of male FA and BBW). So from the FA's point of view this myth may seem like it should be true, from their experience. But that does not mean that it is true for their partner.


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## swamptoad (Oct 30, 2009)

Tad said:


> Here is my take on it.
> 
> For some people gaining any significant amount of weight is difficult, their body just isn't all that interested in gaining. For those people, losing a bit of extra weight that they've gained usually is fairly easy. However the people that FA are apt to be attracted to in the first place are NOT the people who have difficulty putting on weight. People who gain easily often have a much harder time losing weight.
> 
> ...



Good post. Very good insight!


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