# Dating



## chicken legs (Jan 9, 2010)

I was hanging out on yahoo and happened across some dating tips..and I thought has there ever been a dating thread.


On a side note, I noticed these dating tips are not fat friendly.


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## chicken legs (Jan 9, 2010)

Here is one about "Setting Dating Criteria Too High.

Its kinda funny and it has a "Are you too picky" test and it asks you to look at 100 profiles and ask yourself the following questions.



"1.How many did you find attractive?
2.How many met your criteria: age, height, weight, income, smoking, religion, etc.?
3.How many wrote interesting profiles that would make you think they'd be compelling conversation on a date?
4.What percentage of your online dates do you "click" with in real life?"


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## 99Haints (Jan 9, 2010)

I think I horribly bombed a date last night. It was someone I really like, and I'm pretty sure I let my anxiety about it turn me into an awkward freak. If you could each give me a swift kick as you pass, I would greatly appreciate it. No advice please, only roundhouses to the head.:doh:


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## ChubbyDucky (Jan 9, 2010)

Ugh dating...it's my least favorite thing to do >.<

ESPECIALLY if you don't know the person first- it's sooo awkward. Well, at least I'm awkward. And sarcastic. Or too quiet or laugh a little bit too much. 

I guess what helps me if not thinking of going out as going on dates, but as just hangning out. I don't know why, but it does help. A little bit. No pysching out or anything.


That's my tip. Guess I should write a book.


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## escapist (Jan 10, 2010)

ChubbyDucky said:


> Ugh dating...it's my least favorite thing to do >.<
> 
> ESPECIALLY if you don't know the person first- it's sooo awkward. Well, at least I'm awkward. And sarcastic. Or too quiet or laugh a little bit too much.
> 
> ...



I don't understand, rapport building is something that people do on a regular basis. It happens every time you meet someone new. I mean the person that you "already know" you had to get to know them at first at some point. Not to mention when you're first getting to know someone that is the perfect time to build attraction otherwise you risk entering the dreaded *FRIEND ZONE*. I suggest exactly what you said don't think of your date as a date. I hardly use the word myself. Its quite common for me to meet someone new and end up having dinner with them and have it build into much more than that.

If your having problems with any particular phase of attraction don't avoid it or fear it. Take the opportunity to learn from your past and add it to your current experience thus building even more attractive self.

If your into books I suggest reading ones that are out there before you write your own. Try this one out to start with "Rules of the Game". I suggest that to any Guy BHM or not. I've said it before and I'll say it again; I'm a 500 lb. SSBHM it rarely stops me or hinders my success with women. Why would I even give someone who didn't want me as I am a second thought anyways?

Oh little hint, about that awkward stuff your were talking about...dude, just have fun. If your in fun mode and can pull others into fun mode with you, trust me. Not only will they stay, but they will want more. Why do you think learning how to play and tease nicely or seductively is such an important phase in human social development? When you can learn to create a push pull that is fun for you and a woman, you will learn one of the great super power moves of creating attraction. :happy:


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## Jes (Jan 10, 2010)

escapist said:


> If your having problems with any particular phase of attraction don't avoid it or fear it. Take the opportunity to learn from your past and add it to your current experience thus building even more attractive self.
> 
> If your into books I suggest reading ones that are out there before you write your own. Try this one out to start with "Rules of the Game". I suggest that to any Guy BHM or not. I've said it before and I'll say it again; I'm a 500 lb. SSBHM it rarely stops me or hinders my success with women. Why would I even give someone who didn't want me as I am a second thought anyways?
> :



Tell us the stripper story again, Beefy!


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## escapist (Jan 10, 2010)

Jes said:


> Tell us the stripper story again, Beefy!



God, which one?   :happy:

I suppose in other parts of the world it would be rare or something but in Vegas, they are freaking everywhere. Now finding an FFA one, that was well, I would say one in a million but I know at least 2. The first time I got to know one I didn't belive her when she said I wasn't big enough and she needed to fatten me up some more...she blew...ummm, my mind


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## Jes (Jan 10, 2010)

escapist said:


> God, which one?   :happy:
> 
> .



just pick one. Your stripper stories never get old.


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## escapist (Jan 10, 2010)

Jes said:


> just pick one. Your stripper stories never get old.



Man you need a life if you really think that, perhaps you should read a good book or go see a movie. While some may find the stories entertaining I generally only use them to illustrate a point. Granted, I do get a lot of joy from snarky comments from people that can't stand my personal brand of education or experience. It only tells me I'm expressing myself clearly. It just goes along with my rule of if your not rubbing someone the wrong way your just not communicating well cause you can't please everybody so why try.

Now do you actually have something of value to add to the OP's thread or are you here to just derail it?

If you truly do enjoy the stories I'm sure you can search my old post and read to your hearts content I'm sure you will learn something. If you need to hear or learn more Please PM me. That is what the PM function is for.

-Thanks


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## ChubbyDucky (Jan 10, 2010)

escapist said:


> I don't understand, rapport building is something that people do on a regular basis. It happens every time you meet someone new. I mean the person that you "already know" you had to get to know them at first at some point. Not to mention when you're first getting to know someone that is the perfect time to build attraction otherwise you risk entering the dreaded *FRIEND ZONE*. I suggest exactly what you said don't think of your date as a date. I hardly use the word myself. Its quite common for me to meet someone new and end up having dinner with them and have it build into much more than that.
> 
> If your having problems with any particular phase of attraction don't avoid it or fear it. Take the opportunity to learn from your past and add it to your current experience thus building even more attractive self.
> 
> ...



Haha, I was kidding about writing a book, especially about this topic. Though I do write plays, I don't think I would want to write a self-help play about dating. 

But yeah, the problem I find with dates is that I enter them thinking about them in the way you said- just going for fun, rapport building, flirting, not considering them "dates", etc. Unfortunately most dates I've had don't enter it the same way and their awkwardness usually gets the better of the situation. 

My most successful relationships have come from people I got to know, while we were just hanging out or doing date-like things without the term dating glued to it. 

So again, to sum up, my tip about dating is to not consider it dating.


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## escapist (Jan 10, 2010)

ChubbyDucky said:


> Haha, I was kidding about writing a book, especially about this topic. Though I do write plays, I don't think I would want to write a self-help play about dating.
> 
> But yeah, the problem I find with dates is that I enter them thinking about them in the way you said- just going for fun, rapport building, flirting, not considering them "dates", etc. Unfortunately most dates I've had don't enter it the same way and their awkwardness usually gets the better of the situation.
> 
> ...



Yeah I just wanted to promote my boy Neil Strauss (aka Style) the Author of the book "Rules of The Game". Its actually geared as a self help book to help the reader overcome their fears and create forward momentum for there personal and dating life.

I think your right on, most people seem to over complicate it with "am I being perfect, and saying/doing the perfect thing". It really does get easier the more you do it too. You learn to switch that over thinking part of your brain off becoming just you and having fun.


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## Jes (Jan 10, 2010)

escapist said:


> Now do you actually have something of value to add to the OP's thread or are you here to just derail it?
> )



No, but I was hoping you would.

I do want more KINO stripper stories, so I will PM you. thanks in advance.


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## ImNotFunny (Jan 10, 2010)

I h haven't been on a date in a long time...i miss the awkwardness...

goodtimes...goodtimes...

:doh:


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## chicken legs (Jan 10, 2010)

Jes said:


> Tell us the stripper story again, Beefy!



Well, I have become more fluffy than beefy, but I can tell you some stripper stories.



Hey, Vegas has Alot of male strippers too.


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## escapist (Jan 10, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> Well, I have become more fluffy than beefy, but I can tell you some stripper stories.
> 
> 
> 
> Hey, Vegas has Alot of male strippers too.



Yeah but your a horrible tipper. I mean I've been working it for a year, bump'n grind'n, squishing you with my belly. You always pass out before I get the $$$.  (Love ya babe)


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## chicken legs (Jan 10, 2010)

escapist said:


> Yeah but your a horrible tipper. I mean I've been working it for a year, bump'n grind'n, squishing you with my belly. You always pass out before I get the $$$.  (Love ya babe)



What?..you said you like to be tipped with tasty treats.


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## escapist (Jan 10, 2010)

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm......Ok, you win :blush: :happy:


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## Buffetbelly (Jan 11, 2010)

The secret to carbon dating is to take the C13 into account as well as the C12.


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## escapist (Jan 11, 2010)

Buffetbelly said:


> The secret to carbon dating is to take the C13 into account as well as the C12.



You know, I tell people all the time its all about the radioactive decay. The would just wouldn't be what it is without a half life.


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## lovelocs (Jan 12, 2010)

99Haints said:


> I think I horribly bombed a date last night. It was someone I really like, and I'm pretty sure I let my anxiety about it turn me into an awkward freak. If you could each give me a swift kick as you pass, I would greatly appreciate it. No advice please, only roundhouses to the head.:doh:



And I complied. 

View attachment morris.jpg


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## 99Haints (Jan 12, 2010)

lovelocs said:


> And I complied.



Thanks, you're a pal!:happy:


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## chicken legs (Jan 21, 2010)

If you could date anyone ...who would it be?


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## escapist (Jan 22, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> If you could date anyone ...who would it be?



Ok, um, I'm gonna make the smart move and say, you baby  :smitten: :blush: :happy:


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## chicken legs (Jan 24, 2010)

escapist said:


> Ok, um, I'm gonna make the smart move and say, you baby  :smitten: :blush: :happy:



:wubu:

Well I'm a firm believer in writing down what you want and usually you get it.

So guys and girls what do you want to date (aka admire)...physically and mentally...or you can use a famous person or character to illustrate. 


Ok..all pc'ness aside...whats your fantasy guy or girl. I hear alot about how us FA/FFA get to talk about our fantasies and I'm curious to hear about BHM/BBW fantasies as well. Who knows, maybe the person of your fantasy is lurking about.


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## djudex (Jan 24, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> Ok..all pc'ness aside...whats your fantasy guy or girl. I hear alot about how us FA/FFA get to talk about our fantasies and I'm curious to hear about BHM/BBW fantasies as well. Who knows, maybe the person of your fantasy is lurking about.



I like them there girls without a penis!

Seriously though I really don't try to limit myself to a type, I'm a big believer in chemistry. I've gone out with women ranging from a farrier from the deep southern US, a serious crystal-believing hippy chick to a gal who thrived off the chaos and fury of being a restaurant night manager. If you click you just click, there will almost always be things you have in common that you both enjoy doing (I've found at least) so I don't worry about things like making sure I find a girl who likes sci-fi or someone who enjoys picking other people's houses apart and redesigning them in their head.

That being said there are going to be times when chemistry isn't enough, despite having that je ne sais quoi, and that's fine too. You just make sure to have some super awesome sticky sex before you part each others company


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## chicken legs (Jan 24, 2010)

LOL...your naughty but I love it.


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## stldpn (Jan 24, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> :wubu:
> 
> Well I'm a firm believer in writing down what you want and usually you get it.
> 
> ...



I like strong women. Not necessarily in the physical sense but, I have the type of personality that if a woman doesn't set her boundaries I'm likely to push her past the brink.


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## chicken legs (Jan 24, 2010)

stldpn said:


> I like strong women. Not necessarily in the physical sense but, I have the type of personality that if a woman doesn't set her boundaries I'm likely to push her past the brink.



Wow that one kinda stumped me..because that women really has to be cool with who she is and what she wants in a relationship. 

LOL..I not even going to go to the non-pc version of what I was thinking...


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## stldpn (Jan 24, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> Wow that one kinda stumped me..because that women really has to be cool with who she is and what she wants in a relationship.
> 
> LOL..I not even going to go to the non-pc version of what I was thinking...



Well it's a vague allusion to the fact that most men are dogs I suppose... cause if I'm not told specificly and firmly where the line is I just might hike my leg and do something we both regret.


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## djudex (Jan 24, 2010)

Man, I sure hope you're talking about playing hackysack...


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## stldpn (Jan 24, 2010)

djudex said:


> Man, I sure hope you're talking about playing hackysack...



figuratively... sure... what I suppose I mean is... if a woman doesn't stand up to me from the get go... I'll probably instigate something unforgivable to make her stand up to me... ie leaving my dirty underwear in the kitchen... I subconsciously create dealbreakers when there are no limits... and women wonder why I'm not married


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## chicken legs (Jan 24, 2010)

stldpn said:


> figuratively... sure... what I suppose I mean is... if a woman doesn't stand up to me from the get go... I'll probably instigate something unforgivable to make her stand up to me... ie leaving my dirty underwear in the kitchen... I subconsciously create dealbreakers when there are no limits... and women wonder why I'm not married



I give you much respect in respecting those bounderies..I'm the same way. It takes alot of drama out of the relationship. However, I have run across a few who either constantly change the rules, look for loop holes, or say I didn't say the "safe word" with the right enunciation (just joshing on the last one).


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## lovelocs (Jan 24, 2010)

stldpn said:


> figuratively... sure... what I suppose I mean is... if a woman doesn't stand up to me from the get go... I'll probably instigate something unforgivable to make her stand up to me... ie leaving my dirty underwear in the kitchen... I subconsciously create dealbreakers when there are no limits... and women wonder why I'm not married



If a man left his dirty underwear in the kitchen, I would serve them to him... 
On a bed of wilted greens...
And men wonder why I'm not married.

And if I could date anyone, it would be one of my sups at work. 
A dizzying 6'8" tall, I don't know how many pounds, and the kindest, 
gentlest dark eyes not in a puppy dog. Also a sterling individual. 
Le package totale.


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## chicken legs (Jan 24, 2010)

lovelocs said:


> If a man left his dirty underwear in the kitchen, I would serve them to him...
> On a bed of wilted greens...
> And men wonder why I'm not married.
> 
> ...



LOL..I would just replace it with a thong..


6'8" you say...do tell


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## lovelocs (Jan 24, 2010)

Where to start... He's just a big, beautiful boy. Broad shouldered, yet somehow fine featured, you can't really tell how fat he is til he sits down and spreads out. Then all bets are off... Dark spiky hair, and facial hair always impeccably lined. Sharp dresser, and the sweetest, shyest smile ever. I make him blush from time to time, just for the sheer evil joy of it. Uuugh. Just uugh. He's from Serbia, so I guess I could just call him a hot bundle of Balkan beauty.


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## chicken legs (Jan 25, 2010)

I hear the Mediterranean diet is really good for you:eat2:


What....its just what I've heard


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## lovelocs (Jan 25, 2010)

Das Nasty.

I love it.


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## stldpn (Jan 25, 2010)

lovelocs said:


> If a man left his dirty underwear in the kitchen, I would serve them to him...
> On a bed of wilted greens...
> And men wonder why I'm not married.
> 
> ...



That's a big pile of greens...


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 30, 2010)

I've been married...twice. None ever left their underwear in my kitchen. They would only get to do so....once. With no argument on my part. 

Gee.....choosing NOT to argue doesn't make one a pushover.

Just wanted to offer clarity


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## chicken legs (Jan 31, 2010)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I've been married...twice. None ever left their underwear in my kitchen. They would only get to do so....once. With no argument on my part.
> 
> Gee.....choosing NOT to argue doesn't make one a pushover.
> 
> Just wanted to offer clarity



And knowing is half the battle


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 31, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> And knowing is half the battle



I really wanted that Native American guy to wrap me up in a blanket, roll me around on the ground with his hands "gently massaging my body" too. 

Is that wrong? 

Oh and I really liked the part about starting a fire if you're over 18 is legal if it's consensual. Why oh why was a children's safety video sooooo full of innuendo? Am I THAT dirty? OH:


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## djudex (Jan 31, 2010)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I really wanted that Native American guy to wrap me up in a blanket, roll me around on the ground with his hands "gently massaging my body" too.
> 
> Is that wrong?
> 
> Oh and I really liked the part about starting a fire if you're over 18 is legal if it's consensual. Why oh why was a children's safety video sooooo full of innuendo? Am I THAT dirty? OH:



It's one of a line of parodies done by a company called Fensler Films that dubbed over the "Knowing is half the battle" end segments of the old G.I. Joe cartoons from the 80's. Most of them are pretty funny, you can watch them on YouTube by searching for "Fensler Joe".


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## stldpn (Jan 31, 2010)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I've been married...twice. None ever left their underwear in my kitchen. They would only get to do so....once. With no argument on my part.
> 
> Gee.....choosing NOT to argue doesn't make one a pushover.
> 
> Just wanted to offer clarity



Did you have strong, verbalized standards? because that's the vacuum in which underwear find their way onto the kitchen floor. When I'm not permitted the luxury of open discussion, I revert to passive aggressive action.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 31, 2010)

stldpn said:


> Did you have strong, verbalized standards? because that's the vacuum in which underwear find their way onto the kitchen floor. When I'm not permitted the luxury of open discussion, I revert to passive aggressive action.



Shush, some big guy has his hands gently massaging my body right now....in my dreams anyway.

Oh and he's not wearing underwear


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## stldpn (Jan 31, 2010)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> Shush, some big guy has his hands gently massaging my body right now....in my dreams anyway.
> 
> Oh and he's not wearing underwear



ah is he related to chief wanna-humpa-boyscout?


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 31, 2010)

stldpn said:


> ah is he related to chief wanna-humpa-boyscout?



You're really out to disturb this groove, eh?


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## stldpn (Jan 31, 2010)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> You're really out to disturb this groove, eh?



yeah... ain't I a stinka


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## escapist (Jan 31, 2010)

mmmmmm Dating sounds fun like this!


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## Wanderer (Feb 1, 2010)

What do I want? I want a woman who can be bluntly honest with me; who actually wants to be with me; and who understands and accepts that I am, and will always be for as long as we're together, a one-woman man.

(I need the "bluntly honest" part. I HAVE been known to go off the deep end occasionally, and a viewpoint from someone who's not afraid to tell me I've got it all wrong is vital.)


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## rockabelly (Feb 1, 2010)

I just wish that during a date that everyone could just be who they really are. Every wants to put a mask on when they meet someone new to make themselves more appealing to the opposite sex. In reality we are not meeting anyone new, we are meeting a mask of someone new and not really them at all. We then have to go through the process of unmasking the person so that you will know if you really like each other or not.

I understand that self esteem plays a large role in this, but it can be so frustrating.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Feb 1, 2010)

rockabelly said:


> I just wish that during a date that everyone could just be who they really are. Every wants to put a mask on when they meet someone new to make themselves more appealing to the opposite sex. In reality we are not meeting anyone new, we are meeting a mask of someone new and not really them at all. We then have to go through the process of unmasking the person so that you will know if you really like each other or not.
> 
> I understand that self esteem plays a large role in this, but it can be so frustrating.



Lol, if the person you are with takes that mask off, it means you are married. Be glad you're still in the "best behavior" phase


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## stldpn (Feb 2, 2010)

rockabelly said:


> I just wish that during a date that everyone could just be who they really are. Every wants to put a mask on when they meet someone new to make themselves more appealing to the opposite sex. In reality we are not meeting anyone new, we are meeting a mask of someone new and not really them at all. We then have to go through the process of unmasking the person so that you will know if you really like each other or not.
> 
> I understand that self esteem plays a large role in this, but it can be so frustrating.



well at the same time... love is what makes taking the mask off fun... if someone really displayed ALL of their worst public and private qualities from minute one... would you even want to talk to them long enough to get past the flaws?


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## rockabelly (Feb 2, 2010)

stldpn said:


> well at the same time... love is what makes taking the mask off fun... if someone really displayed ALL of their worst public and private qualities from minute one... would you even want to talk to them long enough to get past the flaws?



it is our "flaws" that make who we are. there is no normal or perfection. it is a myth. be proud of who you are. embrace it. take off the masks.


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## stldpn (Feb 2, 2010)

rockabelly said:


> it is our "flaws" that make who we are. there is no normal or perfection. it is a myth. be proud of who you are. embrace it. take off the masks.



Ok here it is, I pick my feet, I fart (A LOT), and I smell of cheese if I don't take a shower every twelve hours. Yeah now every chick here should be hot for my inner beauty and incredible honesty about my flaws.


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## chicken legs (Feb 2, 2010)

stldpn said:


> Ok here it is, I pick my feet, I fart (A LOT), and I smell of cheese if I don't take a shower every twelve hours. Yeah now every chick here should be hot for my inner beauty and incredible honesty about my flaws.



OMG..you a real human being..lets go out.


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## chicken legs (Feb 2, 2010)

rockabelly said:


> it is our "flaws" that make who we are. there is no normal or perfection. it is a myth. be proud of who you are. embrace it. take off the masks.



LOL..first impressions are important because it lets the other person know what our best is because that is you also. Then as we get to know each other and accept each other differences we can do stuff this in the bathroom and feel weird.


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Feb 2, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> LOL..first impressions are important because it lets the other person know what our best is because that is you also. Then as we get to know each other and accept each other differences we can do stuff this in the bathroom and feel weird.



hahaha, you always post the most random ass links, I love it. I'd rep, but you know how it goes, apparently I've given you too much lovin' in the past few days.


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## chicken legs (Feb 2, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> LOL..first impressions are important because it lets the other person know what our best is because that is you also. Then as we get to know each other and accept each other differences we can do stuff this in the bathroom and feel weird.



Awww...thanks for the lovin Hozaay:happy:...but damn, what was up with that sentence:doh::blush:..hehehehe

I meant to say...we can do stuff like this and not feel weird.....ok, I feel better now.


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## rockabelly (Feb 2, 2010)

stldpn said:


> Ok here it is, I pick my feet, I fart (A LOT), and I smell of cheese if I don't take a shower every twelve hours. Yeah now every chick here should be hot for my inner beauty and incredible honesty about my flaws.



Actually, when being honest about it, you might find the right person the first time out. She would be someone who would be okay with your feet picking, farts, and smells (and may even like them) instead of a women who was upset because she didnt know about it and cant change you and now feels she is trapped in a relationship she doesnt want. That only leads to drama, conflict and heartbreak. 

Always better to be honest.

I would rather be with someone with no masks at all.


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## rockabelly (Feb 2, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> LOL..first impressions are important because it lets the other person know what our best is because that is you also. Then as we get to know each other and accept each other differences we can do stuff this in the bathroom and feel weird.



I understand what you mean and I'm not saying you're wrong, but as I see it, it's not the "best" of us that is a deal breaker that ends relationships. With this in mind, you would want to know about deal breakers up front. Some masks hide these deal breakers for a long time.

If one chooses to keep the masks, then they are subject to all that comes with it: the possibility that you wont like the person when the mask comes off or the person wont like you when your mask comes off. Why lie about who we are? Why should we try to be someone who we are not? This only leads to a bunch of shiny plastic people who aren't happy.

This would also lead to airbrushing photos of us in magazines and unrealistic standards of who we should be and who we should want. Then from there we are told what is beautiful and what is not, who is "normal" and who should be shunned.

Sadly we have all been indoctrinated to be someone we are not to attract perspective mates. This only leads to two people meeting who are lying to each other.

I know it sounds like a downer, but it is just how I see things. It's fine to disagree with me. we all have our own path to follow. Mine is now a path to the truth of who I am and who I am searching for.

Even though i like all shapes and sizes, I still have deal breaker petpeaves that will scare me away to look elsewhere. We all have them.

I am only being honest.


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## Isla620 (Feb 2, 2010)

I think there's a very big difference between someone who is deceitfully making themselves out to be someone they're not, and someone who is just keeping their most TMI aspects, failings, and Achilles' heels to themselves for the time being. That's not so much "wearing a mask" as it is an instinctive protective mechanism against possible rejection and/or humiliation. 

It typically takes some time to build mutual trust, and I think that's entirely normal. I don't know that anyone would want to give a near-stranger an instant roadmap to all their psychological buttons until they are satisfied that the information won't be misused. Exploration and discovery is a key part of bonding, and the process of peeling back all those layers is often rather enjoyable.


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## Hozay J Garseeya (Feb 2, 2010)

Kind of on the facet of dating. I was listening to the radio the other day, and the lady speaking made a point about first dates. She said "Pay attention to how that person interacts with strangers, waitresses, waiters, hostess', people he bumps in to. If that person is rude to them or doesn't treat them well, that'll probably be how they treat you down the line, once those first impressions are gone."

I thought it was interesting.


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## rockabelly (Feb 2, 2010)

Isla620 said:


> I think there's a very big difference between someone who is deceitfully making themselves out to be someone they're not, and someone who is just keeping their most TMI aspects, failings, and Achilles' heels to themselves for the time being. That's not so much "wearing a mask" as it is an instinctive protective mechanism against possible rejection and/or humiliation.
> 
> It typically takes some time to build mutual trust, and I think that's entirely normal. I don't know that anyone would want to give a near-stranger an instant roadmap to all their psychological buttons until they are satisfied that the information won't be misused. Exploration and discovery is a key part of bonding, and the process of peeling back all those layers is often rather enjoyable.



Thank you for drilling down on this further to get us exactly where you suggest: Building Trust

While I'm not suggesting that people not hold anything back, I am suggetings that if you show your true personality up front, it will get you places you never imagined. One will NEVER weed out those who are being deceitful and pretending to be someone else. I don't consider being protective of one's heart and psychological buttons a mask. Those things I would consider armor. Armor shouldnt be removed until trust is gained. trust is gained through honesty. Honesty is the removal of your mask.

I know that the removal of masks isn't for everyone. We are all different. I choose, however, to remove my own and let it all hang out. I don't think that you should have to wait years to know who i really am. It is not fair to you or me to have to wait for truth. Perhaps this comes out of my own growth and self esteem.

Thanks to this forum and my close friends, I am finally feeling good and very comfortable in my own skin. What you see is what you get. If I tell you that I adore you, I really do. If you ask for my opinion, I will give it. If I tell you that I will help you and expect nothing in return, I mean it. If I tell you that I love you, then I love you with no conditions upon that love. 

The more I ponder this, the more I realize that there are nice people and there are people with hidden agendas. There is an old saying "a catastrophy either makes you better or bitter" and for the majority humans, a date is not a date, but rather an interview. Some arent even interviews but are almost hostile interrogations delivered with a smile and soft voice.

Once again, I prefer those who are up front and say what they are looking for or even those who simply state "i don't know what I'm looking for, but I'll know when i find it so dont get your hopes too high."

I don't think that honesty is too much to ask. Anything less is but a game and a complete waste of everyone's time. Honesty leads to mutual trust and that can only lead to beneficial relationship whether it be as friends or lovers.

So, in summary, I would rather lead by example and remove my facade and hope that others will give honesty a try, too. Maybe. Just maybe, it can make a difference.


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## rockabelly (Feb 2, 2010)

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> If that person is rude to them or doesn't treat them well, that'll probably be how they treat you down the line, once those first impressions are gone."



Hozay,
If you liked that article, you may like any of the books on body language by Allan Pease.
link 

Good stuff!


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## stldpn (Feb 2, 2010)

rockabelly said:


> Actually, when being honest about it, you might find the right person the first time out. She would be someone who would be okay with your feet picking, farts, and smells (and may even like them) instead of a women who was upset because she didnt know about it and cant change you and now feels she is trapped in a relationship she doesnt want. That only leads to drama, conflict and heartbreak.
> 
> Always better to be honest.
> 
> I would rather be with someone with no masks at all.



Yes well I can tell you this as a guy... and I don't care how shallow I sound... if all of my dates let it all hang out on the first date... I'd still be a virgin. 

I don't care how much I like her some of it's self preservation and some of it's a matter of respect. I don't want to see her "I'm on my period" panties on the first date, don't need to hear about her daddy/baby daddy issues, don't want to see her fall down drunk. There are just some things that you don't need to know right off the bat. It's not a lack of honesty, just a withholding of our less interesting selves.


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## escapist (Feb 2, 2010)

stldpn said:


> Yes well I can tell you this as a guy... and I don't care how shallow I sound... if all of my dates let it all hang out on the first date... I'd still be a virgin.
> 
> I don't care how much I like her some of it's self preservation and some of it's a matter of respect. I don't want to see her "I'm on my period" panties on the first date, don't need to hear about her daddy/baby daddy issues, don't want to see her fall down drunk. There are just some things that you don't need to know right off the bat. It's not a lack of honesty, just a withholding of our less interesting selves.




I'm totally with ya. Dating isn't about being fake, its just about letting the best parts of you shine and letting it build. With a bit of experience and luck its a process that never ends because ten years down the road you will not be the person you are today. There can always be new challenges and opportunities to see each other on deeper and deeper levels.


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## rockabelly (Feb 2, 2010)

stldpn said:


> Yes well I can tell you this as a guy... and I don't care how shallow I sound... if all of my dates let it all hang out on the first date... I'd still be a virgin.
> 
> I don't care how much I like her some of it's self preservation and some of it's a matter of respect. I don't want to see her "I'm on my period" panties on the first date, don't need to hear about her daddy/baby daddy issues, don't want to see her fall down drunk. There are just some things that you don't need to know right off the bat. It's not a lack of honesty, just a withholding of our less interesting selves.



"I'm on my period panties"? Wow.

I have obviously overstepped some very sensitive boundaries in this thread. Seeing the obvious disgust that you feel for my opinion, I submit to you that I had no intention on ruffling feathers. Getting you all pissed at me was not my intention either. I offer an apology to all who I have offended.


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## stldpn (Feb 3, 2010)

rockabelly said:


> "I'm on my period panties"? Wow.
> 
> I have obviously overstepped some very sensitive boundaries in this thread. Seeing the obvious disgust that you feel for my opinion, I submit to you that I had no intention on ruffling feathers. Getting you all pissed at me was not my intention either. I offer an apology to all who I have offended.



any man who has been in a straight monogamous relationship for more than a year probably knows all about her period panties... They are the oldest pair of granny bloomers she owns and she probably hides them when they're not in use... if you see her wearing them it's probably not a good time to hit her up....

I'm not offended... just proving a point... rose colored glasses are good for you at first. There are things both of you DO NOT NEED TO KNOW about each other. Should you be honest, yes! Should you tell her everything on the first date, not if you want to see her again.


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## escapist (Feb 3, 2010)

stldpn said:


> any man who has been in a straight monogamous relationship for more than a year probably knows all about her period panties... They are the oldest pair of granny bloomers she owns and she probably hides them when they're not in use... if you see her wearing them it's probably not a good time to hit her up....
> 
> I'm not offended... just proving a point... rose colored glasses are good for you at first. There are things both of you DO NOT NEED TO KNOW about each other. Should you be honest, yes! Should you tell her everything on the first date, not if you want to see her again.



Man I love it when like minded people speak up. Gives me a chance to kick back and enjoy the commentary lol....oh, and to the guys who didn't know about granny panties week, STAY THE HELL AWAY rofl.


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## stldpn (Feb 3, 2010)

escapist said:


> Man I love it when like minded people speak up. Gives me a chance to kick back and enjoy the commentary lol....oh, and to the guys who didn't know about granny panties week, STAY THE HELL AWAY rofl.



Well earning your "red wings" is another right of passage in a relationship but again you won't get there if you ask her about it on the first date


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## likeitmatters (Feb 5, 2010)

stldpn said:


> Well earning your "red wings" is another right of passage in a relationship but again you won't get there if you ask her about it on the first date




I am not very familar with those, been many many years since I dated a woman and what fond memories..she was a real lady and a hottie..She only wore pants when working in the yard and when she was with me, a dress and ofcourse I would buy her clothes everytime we went out on a date..I was rather generous in those days....

now that I think of it, I do not know why I did not buy her some sexy panties...we had fredericks of hollywood back in the day.


:bow:


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## stldpn (Feb 5, 2010)

likeitmatters said:


> I am not very familar with those, been many many years since I dated a woman and what fond memories..she was a real lady and a hottie..She only wore pants when working in the yard and when she was with me, a dress and ofcourse I would buy her clothes everytime we went out on a date..I was rather generous in those days....
> 
> now that I think of it, I do not know why I did not buy her some sexy panties...we had fredericks of hollywood back in the day.
> 
> ...




Red Wings


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## Melian (Feb 5, 2010)

Hozay J Garseeya said:


> Kind of on the facet of dating. I was listening to the radio the other day, and the lady speaking made a point about first dates. She said "Pay attention to how that person interacts with strangers, waitresses, waiters, hostess', people he bumps in to. If that person is rude to them or doesn't treat them well, that'll probably be how they treat you down the line, once those first impressions are gone."
> 
> I thought it was interesting.



Interesting, but not always true. I'm really full of hatred and don't offer much respect to randoms, BUT I treat my husband and close friends incredibly well. So if he would have judged me based on interactions with strangers.......



stldpn said:


> Well earning your "red wings" is another right of passage in a relationship but again you won't get there if you ask her about it on the first date



....he never would have earned his wings. LOL. He's practically a cannibal.


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## chicken legs (Feb 5, 2010)

stldpn said:


> Red Wings



ewwwwww

Informative but

ewwwwwwww

LOL..I thought it was this


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## stldpn (Feb 5, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> ewwwwww
> 
> Informative but
> 
> ewwwwwwww



yeah... see... not for everyone... but not uncommon at all... at least among the men I know personally


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## escapist (Feb 5, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> ewwwwww
> 
> Informative but
> 
> ...



I love you girl, but that is MESSED UP! Oh, did I ever show you that bloody stripper pic?


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## stldpn (Feb 5, 2010)

escapist said:


> I love you girl, but that is MESSED UP! Oh, did I ever show you that bloody stripper pic?



wait... the ever present been there done that escapist... hasn't earned his red wings yet? lol


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## escapist (Feb 5, 2010)

stldpn said:


> wait... the ever present been there done that escapist... hasn't earned his red wings yet? lol



As a foodie, I love trying new things. However, there are somethings I can't even say I have any interested in finding out what it taste like.


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## stldpn (Feb 5, 2010)

escapist said:


> As a foodie, I love trying new things. However, there are somethings I can't even say I have any interested in finding out what it taste like.



It's not a matter of knowing what it tastes like... I mean it tastes like blood slightly metallic and salty... it's a level of comfort, or at least it was for me.


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## escapist (Feb 5, 2010)

stldpn said:


> It's not a matter of knowing what it tastes like... I mean it tastes like blood slightly metallic and salty... it's a level of comfort, or at least it was for me.



Escapist: "Whats grosser than gross?"

Chicken Legs: "I don't know what?"

Escapist: "Two vampires fighting over a bloody tampon."

Chicken Legs: "Eeeewwwwwww"






Escapist: "Whats grosser than that?"

Chicken Legs: "Oh, I don't know...." 

Escapist: "One of them wins!"





Chicken Legs: "Oh My GOD!"


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## IszyStone (Feb 6, 2010)

escapist said:


> Escapist: "Whats grosser than gross?"
> 
> Chicken Legs: "I don't know what?"
> 
> ...



Is it bad that I don't actually find it that gross?


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## escapist (Feb 6, 2010)

IszyStone said:


> Is it bad that I don't actually find it that gross?



bada-badump-CHING!......and I knew that was coming! lol Hahahahha


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## IszyStone (Feb 6, 2010)

escapist said:


> bada-badump-CHING!......and I knew that was coming! lol Hahahahha



Yeah, basically anytime I see the word vampires my brain goes into mush mode and all other feelings (grossed out included) no longer mean anything.


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## stldpn (Feb 6, 2010)

escapist said:


> Escapist: "Whats grosser than gross?"
> 
> Chicken Legs: "I don't know what?"
> 
> ...



am I the only one that finds it interesting that someone can advocate swinging and be against the idea of continueing to have sex with a partner while she's mensing?


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## Melian (Feb 6, 2010)

stldpn said:


> am I the only one that finds it interesting that someone can advocate swinging and be against the idea of continueing to have sex with a partner while she's mensing?



I just think it's odd that he'd fuck a stripper, but won't sail the red river. LOL.

How do you plead, Mr Escapist?


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## djudex (Feb 6, 2010)

I'd fuck a stripper before parting the Red Sea.


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## escapist (Feb 6, 2010)

stldpn said:


> am I the only one that finds it interesting that someone can advocate swinging and be against the idea of continueing to have sex with a partner while she's mensing?



I don't think I'm the only person who goes to a buffet and avoids the less appetizing looking food but fills up on all the good looking stuff. That said, I can't say I haven't poked at it a few times, I just don't want to eat it, thats all. :eat2:


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## stldpn (Feb 6, 2010)

escapist said:


> I don't think I'm the only person who goes to a buffet and avoids the less appetizing looking food but fills up on all the good looking stuff. That said, I can't say I haven't poked at it a few times, I just don't want to eat it, thats all. :eat2:



Well I'll tell you, I don't consider blood any "dirtier" than anything else that flows from that region so I do wonder what the fuss is about. I wouldn't do it with a stranger gads no... but in a commited relationship with a woman I know to be fastidious about her personal hygeine... why not?


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## djudex (Feb 6, 2010)

stldpn said:


> but in a commited relationship with a woman I know to be fastidious about her personal hygeine... why not?



'Cause ew?


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## escapist (Feb 6, 2010)

stldpn said:


> Well I'll tell you, I don't consider blood any "dirtier" than anything else that flows from that region so I do wonder what the fuss is about. I wouldn't do it with a stranger gads no... but in a commited relationship with a woman I know to be fastidious about her personal hygeine... why not?



Never had a reason or a desire to do it. Or even try. If I'm gonna put my face somewhere I just want it to fresh like roses on a warms spring day. Even better if it just taste like peaches 

If I am in the mood for blood I go for the neck. I like to hear the delicate breath of a lovers slightest gasps for air under the intensity of the moment. I like to feel the fear and the lust vibrate though her body as it becomes a musical instrument under my hands....and its oh so much better when they bite back! While cunnilingus can be fun, for me it is separate from the more vampiric sensations that deal with blood and biting. It just is what it is and I have no further explanation than that.


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## stldpn (Feb 6, 2010)

djudex said:


> 'Cause ew?



not to be crass but if you have oral sex at all the chances of somebody ingesting a minimal amount of fecal material are pretty good... *even if you wash thoroughly* and that's why... I don't screw around with people I don't particularly care for.


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## djudex (Feb 6, 2010)

stldpn said:


> not to be crass but if you have oral sex at all the chances of somebody ingesting a minimal amount of fecal material are pretty good... *even if you wash thoroughly* and that's why... I don't screw around with people I don't particularly care for.



It's all in the mind... out of sight, out of mind.


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## escapist (Feb 6, 2010)

stldpn said:


> not to be crass but if you have oral sex at all the chances of somebody ingesting a minimal amount of fecal material are pretty good... *even if you wash thoroughly* and that's why... I don't screw around with people I don't particularly care for.



And that folks is why you should only sleep with people who are so hot you would eat the poop out of their butt!.... according to stldpn, you might be doing just that! 





....excuse me while I go drink a Gallon of Hot Sauce and wash it down with some Bleach!


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## stldpn (Feb 6, 2010)

djudex said:


> It's all in the mind... out of sight, out of mind.



yeah microbiology teaches you that washing only weakens and moves germs it rarely kills them


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## chicken legs (Feb 6, 2010)

I grew up JW ....Jdubb in the hizzy...and I never been to keen on blood.

Now with that being said, I never really explored the oral thing before Escapist except for a handfull of times (this includes giving and receiving). Idk maybe its a control thing that I have a problem with, because it feels like I'm giving up control when someone goes "there" with their mouth. Then again I didn't have my first kiss until I was 19 going on 20 because I never been a fan of bodily fluids. Yes I'm a bit of prude. I like watching freaky shit not participating in it.


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## 99Haints (Feb 6, 2010)

djudex said:


> It's all in the mind... out of sight, out of mind.


This is the only way to go. If you become too inquisitive about these matters, you wont even be able to reuse a toothbrush. Without one of those Andromeda Strain skin burning chambers at your disposal, one must accept living in a world of poo-and then try to forget it.


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## escapist (Feb 6, 2010)

Well Mr. Stldpn You are right, the Mythbusters have proved it. There is POO, Everywhere!


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## BigChaz (Feb 6, 2010)

escapist said:


> Well Mr. Stldpn You are right, the Mythbusters have proved it. There is POO, Everywhere!



I love that episode. I want to know EXACTLY how my poo works.


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## escapist (Feb 6, 2010)

BigChaz said:


> I love that episode. I want to know EXACTLY how my poo works.



If your Poo works, that shit better start paying taxes dammit!


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## MasterShake (Feb 11, 2010)

This thread is useless without pics...of me!

(still single, ladies - line forms to the left! ) 

View attachment aaa.jpg


View attachment asa.jpg


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## Melian (Feb 11, 2010)

MasterShake said:


> This thread is useless without pics...of me!
> 
> (still single, ladies - line forms to the left! )



EPIC followup to the poo conversation.


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## MasterShake (Feb 11, 2010)

Lol, I was feeling silly. I blame recent sleep deprivation.


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## WillSpark (Feb 12, 2010)

Dammit MasterShake, why you gotta be on the wrong side? I mean Jayhawks seriously? Mizzou, represent. (granted I don't go, but I was at least accepted and my mother's an alumni)


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## MasterShake (Feb 21, 2010)

Don't hate the team that continues to win championships, hate the game!


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