# Has This Ever Happened To You?



## JerseyGirl07093 (Oct 5, 2007)

Has this ever happened to you?
It's happened to me more times than I care to remember and I bet if you're a fat person it has happened to you as well.
I was walking home from the store today and I happened to pass this older man as we were walking up the street. At one point he had stopped and I passed him and then a moment later he passed me and then waited for me. He started to speak to me in Spanish (my town is 98% Hispanic) and I told him I don't speak the language. He was so intent on telling me what he had to say that he started going on and on in semi English, hand gestures and a sort of charades. Early on I got the gist of what he was saying.
He was trying to give me the name of some Doctor who was somehow involved with weightloss. I told him I already had a doctor that I was quite happy with and thank you very much.
I will never understand what possesses total strangers to think that they can just come up to you on the street and try to 'help' you with your 'problem'. I wouldn't dream of doing this to anyone!
This isn't the first time this has happened, and I'm sure it won't be the last.
Has this ever happened to you?
Feel free to share your story....


----------



## Seth Warren (Oct 5, 2007)

That situation specifically, no. However, I've had strangers just randomly say dumb shit to me within my lifetime. Some people just don't know how to mind their own business. I find that a middle finger generally cuts across language barriers.


----------



## GWARrior (Oct 6, 2007)

Unfortunately, there are idiots out there who really mean well. I suspect he was one of them.

I guess all you can do is say No thanks! and walk away.

btw: i *heart* McLovin.


----------



## Russell Williams (Oct 6, 2007)

A valid response to suggestions of weight-loss dieting is to ask why the person thinks you should be fatter.

I suppose for the weight-loss surgery the question could be, "Why should I pay thousands of dollars to be fat when I can be fat for for free?"


Russell Williams


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 6, 2007)

Seth Warren said:


> That situation specifically, no. However, I've had strangers just randomly say dumb shit to me within my lifetime. Some people just don't know how to mind their own business. *I find that a middle finger generally cuts across language barriers.*


*
*


Hotter every day baby  :smitten: :wubu: :kiss2: :bow:


----------



## Aurora (Oct 6, 2007)

Only via youtube comments.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 6, 2007)

Years ago, when I worked in a convenience store, a male customer lingered to chat with me after making his purchases. Being a friendly person, I never mind chatting with people that want to talk so after about ten minutes of listening to him tell me his story, I decided to go back to eating my chips. He had complimented my eyes earlier but when he saw me eat the chip, he told me, in a very worried way, that I shouldn't "ruin my looks by eating stuff like that". 
Yes, I didn't know this man, I wasn't sure if he was hitting on me or just being friendly, I wasn't interested if he was and he sure as hell didn't get tell me what to eat. I told him that I frequently enjoyed eating the large size bags of those chips- and would continue to do so. He left not long after that  

*btw, I wasn't "skinny" when this happened- I probably weighed about 185 and I am only 5'4" tall- so definitely chubby to say the least.


----------



## Dr. Feelgood (Oct 6, 2007)

The world is full of busybodies -- which, I suppose, is why the word 'busybody' exists. I put on my best poker face, nod slightly at them, and murmur, "Thank you for your concern. So kind," in my most sincere voice. Then I go on with whatever I was doing.


----------



## daddyoh70 (Oct 7, 2007)

Not that I condone violence, but don't you just feel like doing this sometimes ..

http://youtube.com/watch?v=feziEowWqyQ


----------



## Shosh (Oct 7, 2007)

I used to get unsolicited advice and comments regularly from total strangers on the street. There are those who are malicious and abusive ,and to those I would give the one finger salute. Others like this old man may be well meaning so I would be courteous and hear him out even though English was his second language.
I guess each situation is different.
Susannah


----------



## moore2me (Oct 7, 2007)

JerseyGirl07093 said:


> Has this ever happened to you?
> It's happened to me more times than I care to remember and I bet if you're a fat person it has happened to you as well.
> I was walking home from the store today and I happened to pass this older man as we were walking up the street. At one point he had stopped and I passed him and then a moment later he passed me and then waited for me. He started to speak to me in Spanish (my town is 98% Hispanic) and I told him I don't speak the language. He was so intent on telling me what he had to say that he started going on and on in semi English, hand gestures and a sort of charades. Early on I got the gist of what he was saying.
> He was trying to give me the name of some Doctor who was somehow involved with weightloss. I told him I already had a doctor that I was quite happy with and thank you very much.
> ...



When I was working in state goverenment, I used to do a lot of public speaking events. On several occasions, I have had people come up to me after a speech and I would think they wanted to ask questions about my presentation. Instead, a couple of times they wanted to give me weight loss advice. One man even had the "balls" to try and enroll me in a program he and his wife were selling out of their home. 

Because the guys always threw me off guard, by approaching in a friendly manner, smiling, this stuff always surprised me first, then shocked me. I was in the zone, talking about the subject at hand, and had forgotten I was *FAT* for a little while. These rude strangers might just as well of slapped me in the face. However, I was at a public place, representing the state and could not be mean, vulgar, or do what I really wanted to do. It was a shame - left me frustrasted, mad, and made me feel that my worth as an individual was mostly tied to my appearance as a fatty. I took me an hour or so to work my way out of my pity party.


----------



## Hamhock (Oct 7, 2007)

JerseyGirl07093 said:


> Has this ever happened to you?
> It's happened to me more times than I care to remember and I bet if you're a fat person it has happened to you as well.
> I was walking home from the store today and I happened to pass this older man as we were walking up the street. At one point he had stopped and I passed him and then a moment later he passed me and then waited for me. He started to speak to me in Spanish (my town is 98% Hispanic) and I told him I don't speak the language. He was so intent on telling me what he had to say that he started going on and on in semi English, hand gestures and a sort of charades. Early on I got the gist of what he was saying.
> He was trying to give me the name of some Doctor who was somehow involved with weightloss. I told him I already had a doctor that I was quite happy with and thank you very much.
> ...



Sorry someone gave you a hard time. Like you, I wouldn't dream of doing this to anyone! And you say it was not a uniqe occurance -- I'm going to be sick! :shocked: 

Your story reminded me of something that happened to a neighbor of mine shortly after I got out of the Air Force. My friend was a decent woman who attended my local church. She dressed decently and was of moral character. One day she was walking home and a man on the other side of the street started screeming about how ours was a decent neighborhood and "We don't want you're kind here!" She was the only other person on the street. He was yelling at her!


----------



## phatfatgirl (Oct 7, 2007)

well I've had the strangers come up to me all "friendly-like" chat chitting about whatever.. and all of a sudden break out with the " you have such a pretty smile.." which is usually followed by the "if only you didn't eat..." x y and z..I used to just nod my head politely and continue on what i was doing... but now whatever they are trying to say I usually continue their sentence for em.. and sarcastically add like i've never heard that one before.. but I happen to be happy with the way I am. Usually that's where I walk away leaving these nice people to gawk at me like I was rude. lol


----------



## Waxwing (Oct 7, 2007)

I'm doing one of those hand to chin thinking poses and wondering if there is any situation in which this would be ok. And...nope. Who the hell do these people think they are!? It is rudeness of a staggering level. 

So what are the possible reasons that they might do this: a) they think that you're "unhealthy" and want to help. Well, if I see someone smoking (you know, in the mirror), or someone having a gin at 9 am, I may think that's really bad for them, but I'm sure as shit not going to say anything. Because it's not my body. Not to mention that "unhealthy" is subject to debate. 

Reason b) is that they think it's unattractive. In that case the best response is a swift kick to the face. Sometimes on the subway I see ugly people, and I may in my head think that a little something here and there would help. But I don't saunter over to suggest plastic surgeons. Because that, my friends, would shoot me straight from "judgmental bitch" into "psychotic." 

The world confuses me. Not pardon me while I go judge strangers.


----------



## Jes (Oct 7, 2007)

I haven't had this in a long while, I think, but if I get it again, I'm going to take a breath and suggest the speaker do something about his/her looks or health. Or shoes. Something that I feel would improve that person in some way. We'll see how that goes. I may need a 3rd party to broker a detente!


----------



## Waxwing (Oct 7, 2007)

Jes said:


> I haven't had this in a long while, I think, but if I get it again, I'm going to take a breath and suggest the speaker do something about his/her looks or health. Or shoes. Something that I feel would improve that person in some way. We'll see how that goes. I may need a 3rd party to broker a detente!



Can I watch?


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 7, 2007)

Jes said:


> I haven't had this in a long while, I think, but if I get it again, I'm going to take a breath and suggest the speaker do something about his/her looks or health. Or shoes. Something that I feel would improve that person in some way. We'll see how that goes. I may need a 3rd party to broker a detente!




This is my second proposal.....:wubu:


----------



## Waxwing (Oct 7, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> This is my second proposal.....:wubu:



She's playin' hard to get.


----------



## Dr. Feelgood (Oct 7, 2007)

Jes said:


> I haven't had this in a long while, I think, but if I get it again, I'm going to take a breath and suggest the speaker do something about his/her looks or health. Or shoes. Something that I feel would improve that person in some way. We'll see how that goes. I may need a 3rd party to broker a detente!



This is beyond brilliant!

Might I suggest you call attention to the speaker's breath, since everyone is a little paranoid about halitosis? Besides, it allows you to develop your subject in so many possible ways: "Surely it can't be healthy to smell of decay like that. How long has it been since you saw your dentist?' etc.


----------



## kathynoon (Oct 7, 2007)

A few years ago I was working on my company's project for the Chinese (Taiwanese, they considered themselves the real China). This meant I had to interact a lot with member's of their navy. I had to give talks to them on a few occassions. As I talked, several would speak to each in Chinese, look at me, and laugh out loud - did wonders for my confidence. One day I was walking though the hallway, and one of their officers stopped me. He started telling me that the Chinese knew how to make their food process better and their metabolism work faster. He offered to help me, so I could lose all my excess weight. I was stunned and extremely angry. But to avoid doing anything to spark an international incident, I smiled, walked away, and promptly reported the incident to my boss. He talked to his boss, ..., and one of our high up execs talked to the Chinese officer. I never hear another word.


----------



## Friday (Oct 7, 2007)

'Really? If it works that well you should find out if they could remove your head from your ass and graft on some class while they're at it.'


----------



## rockhound225 (Oct 7, 2007)

I can't say that I've ever had a similar experience, but I've been around when people just let soemthing like that slip, and when they do, there's never a happy look on my face if I happen to overhear. I'd like to think of myself as a tolerant and patient (spelling?), but stuff like that is just one of those things I really can't stand.


----------



## Jes (Oct 8, 2007)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> This is beyond brilliant!
> 
> Might I suggest you call attention to the speaker's breath, since everyone is a little paranoid about halitosis? Besides, it allows you to develop your subject in so many possible ways: "Surely it can't be healthy to smell of decay like that. How long has it been since you saw your dentist?' etc.



I'm kinda serious, though. I mean, I know you are too, but really. If it's ok to talk to me about my health, then it must be ok to talk to someone else, too. And I can couch it in the same I'm just trying to help, I'm just concerned for you! stuff that they give us. It'll have to work. Be ingratiating. 'Oh, I know you're concerned with me, and that's why I'm telling you this. I'm concerned about you too! And obviously, you understand how important it is to tell me your thoughts, so I know you'll accept mine!' And I'll do it nicely, quietly, calmly, so that it can't backfire. You never know, maybe the other person will be receptive, and kind, and we can go on being friendly or, indeed, friends (if it was a friend to begin with). More flies with honey, and all that. 

GEF, I am seriously considering your proposal of marriage and am quite flattered. ANd Waxy, you may watch. Whatever it is you want to watch.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Oct 8, 2007)

Friday said:


> 'Really? If it works that well you should find out if they could remove your head from your ass and graft on some class while they're at it.'




Since Jes won't marry me...will you?


----------



## TallFatSue (Oct 8, 2007)

moore2me said:


> When I was working in state goverenment, I used to do a lot of public speaking events. On several occasions, I have had people come up to me after a speech and I would think they wanted to ask questions about my presentation. Instead, a couple of times they wanted to give me weight loss advice. One man even had the "balls" to try and enroll me in a program he and his wife were selling out of their home.


Forgive them, for they know not what they do. Believe me, no matter what the subject, I have found that some people have an almost unlimited ability to make asses of themselves.


> _The Onion_: Town Hall Meeting Gives Townspeople Chance To Say Stupid Things In Public
> September 8, 2007 | Issue 4336
> http://www.theonion.com/content/news/town_hall_meeting_gives
> 
> NEW BEDFORD, MAIn a true display of democracy, a town hall meeting held at the New Bedford High School auditorium Monday gave the crowd of approximately 550 residents the opportunity to publicly voice every last one of the inane thoughts and concerns they would normally only have the chance to utter to themselves.


----------



## Friday (Oct 8, 2007)

I'll ask the hubby GEF. He likes redheads.


----------



## hot'n fluffy (Oct 8, 2007)

Oh, wait, i can do you one better!!!

I love it when they tell you that you should do something about your weight, and then they try to sell you some "miracle fat/weight loss" product...

have had about 2 of those...

the nerve of some people...

"Normal" people scare me sometimes...


----------



## Mathias (Oct 8, 2007)

Well something similar to this situation happened to me when I was 16. BTW I'm in a wheelchair. My mom had dropped me off at the mall so we could do some shopping. Well my "shopping" consisted of EB games/Gamestop. Gotta support my gamimg habit.  Anyway, I went into the store bought what I wanted and left. As I was going away from the store I noticed this lady was watching and had been watching me when I was in the store. She noticed I couldn't walk but saw that I was albe to stand to reach the game I wanted. She bluntly asked, "What's wrong with you?" I was taken aback by her snobbish manner obviously. I said, "Excuse me?" She said. "You can't walk, but you're able to stand up." And again she rudely asked, "What's wrong with you?" I was pissed, so me being the mouthy 16 year old I was I said, "None of your damn business lady!" I flipped her off and went on my way. She was embarrasssed. I know that some people don't know how to approach other people with disabilities, but come on!:doh: People really don't think before they speak.


----------



## Esme (Oct 8, 2007)

This reminds me of a painful incident from when I was maybe ten or eleven years old. It's funny how some things just stick with you and how sometimes the scars are there even though decades have passed. 

I was going out with my grandfather, whom I adored, to purchase pears which, like the good farming family we were, we were going to can. We had to go way out to the outside of town to get them. I got out of the car with my grandpa while he was purchasing the bushel of pears. As he paid for the pears, the farmer and his wife suggested that my grandpa sign me up for this intensive weight-loss program they were going to be teaching. My poor old-school polite, gentleman grandfather was too stunned to say anything to this couple. I slunk back into the car and we left. Grandpa never mentioned it again to me because he knew that bringing it up again would only cause me to hurt more and feel more like a hideous, ugly failure. I cried when I was alone that afternoon and wouldn't eat lunch because I was so ashamed of myself. Grandpa must have told my mother what happened because she told me to come eat my lunch and not to let what the farmer and his wife said bother me. Of course, being told not to let something bother you is about as effective as, well, dieting. My poor grandpa ached for me, but didn't have the words to make it better. Neither of us had the words to make it okay because, it's just NOT okay for grown adults to say things like that to children, and nothing I or grandpa could say would change that.


----------



## PrettyLife (Oct 8, 2007)

Some people are just plain ignorant and really just like to hear themselves talk and bask in their superior lifestyles. I've never had someone come up to me in a friendly manner to make comments about my weight but it's always the first thing to come up during an argument. Lately though, I get all sorts of comments from people about my baby daughter. The most annoying comment I've gotten lately is when an older woman came up to me and said "oh what a cute little girl" then patted my back and said "don't worry, maybe the next one will be a boy". Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.... :doh:


----------



## Esme (Oct 8, 2007)

Feeling a little like I "over shared"...


----------



## hot'n fluffy (Oct 8, 2007)

I'm not going to pass judgement on you for sharing, I have had painfull experiences as well, but it still hurts to think about it...



Esme said:


> Feeling a little like I "over shared"...


----------



## Waxwing (Oct 8, 2007)

Esme said:


> Feeling a little like I "over shared"...



No not at all. In fact you just got a lengthy rep from me because i was so moved by what you shared. I had experiences like that, and they still hurt today. Thank you for sharing this with me.


----------



## swordchick (Oct 8, 2007)

It is great that you shared your story, Esme. It needed to be told.

While I was in a bookstore on San Juan, PR, I was checking out some travel books. A man approached me and said "are you looking for dieting books?". I asked him "do you think I should lose weight?". He says "no, you are beautiful". I let him know that I thought he was very rude. I can't understand why people think that it is acceptable to make comments about anyone's body without even knowing the person. When one of my friends was very thin, people made rude comment to her as well. So it happens to many types of people.


----------



## Friday (Oct 8, 2007)

I don't think you over shared Esme. I think many of us have had a similar incident, we just aren't quite strong enough to toss it out into the light of day.


----------



## JerseyGirl07093 (Oct 9, 2007)

moore2me said:


> When I was working in state goverenment, I used to do a lot of public speaking events. On several occasions, I have had people come up to me after a speech and I would think they wanted to ask questions about my presentation. Instead, a couple of times they wanted to give me weight loss advice. One man even had the "balls" to try and enroll me in a program he and his wife were selling out of their home.
> 
> Because the guys always threw me off guard, by approaching in a friendly manner, smiling, this stuff always surprised me first, then shocked me. I was in the zone, talking about the subject at hand, and had forgotten I was *FAT* for a little while. These rude strangers might just as well of slapped me in the face. However, I was at a public place, representing the state and could not be mean, vulgar, or do what I really wanted to do. It was a shame - left me frustrasted, mad, and made me feel that my worth as an individual was mostly tied to my appearance as a fatty. I took me an hour or so to work my way out of my pity party.




This is exactly how I feel when this happens. Some people seem so well meaning that I'm taken aback and feel bad that I really want to kick them in the teeth.  I'm stunned for a moment and just go along with it and utter a polite 'no thank you' and only later when I think about it, usually over and over again in my mind, do I get really mad and think of all the things I should have done or said. It sucks how these things stay with you sometimes.
Thanks to everyone for all the replies. It feels a little better to know I'm not the only one this has happened to. 
Also, Esme, I don't think that you 'overshared' either. If we can't share stories like that here I don't know where we can share them.


----------



## Shosh (Oct 9, 2007)

MattS19 said:


> Well something similar to this situation happened to me when I was 16. BTW I'm in a wheelchair. My mom had dropped me off at the mall so we could do some shopping. Well my "shopping" consisted of EB games/Gamestop. Gotta support my gamimg habit.  Anyway, I went into the store bought what I wanted and left. As I was going away from the store I noticed this lady was watching and had been watching me when I was in the store. She noticed I couldn't walk but saw that I was albe to stand to reach the game I wanted. She bluntly asked, "What's wrong with you?" I was taken aback by her snobbish manner obviously. I said, "Excuse me?" She said. "You can't walk, but you're able to stand up." And again she rudely asked, "What's wrong with you?" I was pissed, so me being the mouthy 16 year old I was I said, "None of your damn business lady!" I flipped her off and went on my way. She was embarrasssed. I know that some people don't know how to approach other people with disabilities, but come on!:doh: People really don't think before they speak.




Good on ya Matty! My younger brother was born prematurely in back in 1980. When he was being delivered there were complications and he lost oxygen to his brain. As a result he has permanent numbness down his right side. It is noticable when he walks and his hand is noticeably affected. I can't believe that most of the time it is adults that stare at him when he is out and about. I mean take a photo ,It lasts longer! 
Kids are curious, but don't stare half as much as some adults.

Meanwhile we know it is yer birthday soon Matt. You will get your cake. 

Susannah


----------



## Jane (Oct 9, 2007)

MattS19 said:


> Well something similar to this situation happened to me when I was 16. BTW I'm in a wheelchair. My mom had dropped me off at the mall so we could do some shopping. Well my "shopping" consisted of EB games/Gamestop. Gotta support my gamimg habit.  Anyway, I went into the store bought what I wanted and left. As I was going away from the store I noticed this lady was watching and had been watching me when I was in the store. She noticed I couldn't walk but saw that I was albe to stand to reach the game I wanted. She bluntly asked, "What's wrong with you?" I was taken aback by her snobbish manner obviously. I said, "Excuse me?" She said. "You can't walk, but you're able to stand up." And again she rudely asked, "What's wrong with you?" I was pissed, so me being the mouthy 16 year old I was I said, "None of your damn business lady!" I flipped her off and went on my way. She was embarrasssed. I know that some people don't know how to approach other people with disabilities, but come on!:doh: People really don't think before they speak.



After she went to all the trouble to stop by her grandmother's house and take the handicapped sticker out of grandma's car...you may have had the audacity to park in "HER" handicapped space. You could have walked, you know!!! The nerve.

People are a neverending source of amusement.


----------



## moore2me (Oct 9, 2007)

MattS19 said:


> Well something similar to this situation happened to me when I was 16. BTW I'm in a wheelchair. My mom had dropped me off at the mall so we could do some shopping. Well my "shopping" consisted of EB games/Gamestop. Gotta support my gamimg habit.  Anyway, I went into the store bought what I wanted and left. As I was going away from the store I noticed this lady was watching and had been watching me when I was in the store. She noticed I couldn't walk but saw that I was albe to stand to reach the game I wanted. She bluntly asked, "What's wrong with you?" I was taken aback by her snobbish manner obviously. I said, "Excuse me?" She said. "You can't walk, but you're able to stand up." And again she rudely asked, "What's wrong with you?" I was pissed, so me being the mouthy 16 year old I was I said, "None of your damn business lady!" I flipped her off and went on my way. She was embarrasssed. I know that some people don't know how to approach other people with disabilities, but come on!:doh: People really don't think before they speak.



Matt, I feel you anger at stoopid humans. I am not currently wheelchair bound (I was a couple of years ago). I have MS (multiple sclerosis) and the symptoms vary from day to day, month to month, even hour to hour. I have been able to walk just fine in the morning and was not able to use one of my legs in the afternoon. I have walked out of my office for lunch and was not able to walk back in by myself. My disease progression slowed down and now I am back walking with just a cane - but I never know when I will fall on my butt or my leg will stop working.

Anyway, I have a handicapped parking sticker and use it to park close to stores, etc. I get nasty looks all the time for people because I guess the think I'm abusing the handicapped parking rules. I am fat too, and this doesn't help with the public sympathy. I've gotten to the point now where, I just don't give a damn. I'm 55 yrs old, and it doesn't take much to set me off. (Add to the fact, I am a little touched in the head too.) 

Good luck to you tho, in your travels - there are a lot of people like that sales lady unfortunately. We just have to re-educate them (I try not to hit them with my cane tho - I might fall down again.)


----------



## Tad (Oct 9, 2007)

JerseyGirl07093 said:


> Has this ever happened to you?



Nothing that strong has happened to me, but my wife had an incident like that once.

But as Matt pointed out, it is not just fat. In our case I swear we were close to throwing under a bus the next 'sweet' old lady who told us what we should be doing with our son when he was a baby. The fact that you are a senior citizen apparently means that you know more about all children than their actual parents do, and have the right to correct their errors after about 0.5 seconds of observation.  

-Ed


----------



## Jane (Oct 9, 2007)

edx said:


> Nothing that strong has happened to me, but my wife had an incident like that once.
> 
> But as Matt pointed out, it is not just fat. In our case I swear we were close to throwing under a bus the next 'sweet' old lady who told us what we should be doing with our son when he was a baby. The fact that you are a senior citizen apparently means that you know more about all children than their actual parents do, and have the right to correct their errors after about 0.5 seconds of observation.
> 
> -Ed



No, it means their own kids won't listen to them, but maybe you will.


----------



## Esme (Oct 9, 2007)

Thank you for the kind feedback, folks. I'd never shared that story with anyone else before. I'm working on the assumption that bringing the past hurts out into the light will take away the sting.


----------



## Mathias (Oct 9, 2007)

Unfourtunately I have other stories like the one I posted :huh: I guess that's why I've developed into somewhat of a loner. I've met some really cool people at college who accept me for me, so that's changing.


----------



## Flyin Lilac (Oct 9, 2007)

Yeah ya gotta love the ol' "You have such a pretty face ... you'd be SO much prettier if only you could [insert some weight loss phrase here]." If I had a dollar for every time I've heard that one, I could buy more chocolate-covered Doublestuff Oreos.

Esme's story is right up there with what happened to me when I was, oh, 7ish. I'm sure it's happened to many of you, too: Bribery.
One of my uncles offered me 100 bucks if I lost 100 pounds, or some such amount, I don't remember now. Sadly, as children all we care about is pleasing our elders and getting their approval (translation: love) by being what they want us to be.

Then they wonder why we're all screwed up mentally as adults after years of conditioning.
Pfffffft.


----------



## BigCutieQTPie (Oct 10, 2007)

I have coined myself the resident Weight Watchers girl at work. Over the summer one of my co-workers felt compelled to point out that weight watchers isn't helping me much. She also pointed out that I have two wonderful children and a loving boyfriend. Obviously, she rehearsed her speech. I allowed her to finish and the hopped on my soapbox about being healthy and loving myself. As I began to point out to her that although I am clinically termed as morbidly obese I do not have high blood pressure or diabetes or any of the other comorbidities that come from being overweight. She then retorted with how I complain of my ankles swelling and blamed it all on my weight. I felt the need to defend myself to this woman who I only consider a co-worker when magically it clicked in my head and I hopped off my soapbox and ended the conversation.

I think we give these people to much power by letting their words affect us negatively. We should never have to defend ourselves for the shape and size of our bodies. 

I too remember instances where I would not eat in front of large crowds because I did not want to be stereotyped. Well guess what! I'm at the front of the line if it's something I like. Oh and yes! I know the points value of almost everything that touches my lips. Go Figure! LOL

Smooches


----------



## DUBLINDA (Oct 10, 2007)

Wow, Where do I start??? I have way too many stories to share and can relate to what everyone has said here. I have had strangers approach me and comment on my weight or ask me why I need to walk with the aid of crutche's, Most of them assume that I need crutches because Im too fat to walk without them!!! I was ill for a long period of time and my back is damaged and my balance is affected by this but people just seem to think its all down to my size. 

MattS19 ---I too use a wheelchair for going shopping and I have had so many similar experience's just like yours and each and every one of them is just as hard to deal with. Why can't people understand that there is a reason for someone to have a wheelchair/crutches/walking stick.

It makes me wonder what ever happened to tact and diplomacy and good old-fashioned acceptance??? Rant over, thankyou all very kindly for bearing with me.


----------



## Shosh (Oct 10, 2007)

moore2me said:


> Matt, I feel you anger at stoopid humans. I am not currently wheelchair bound (I was a couple of years ago). I have MS (multiple sclerosis) and the symptoms vary from day to day, month to month, even hour to hour. I have been able to walk just fine in the morning and was not able to use one of my legs in the afternoon. I have walked out of my office for lunch and was not able to walk back in by myself. My disease progression slowed down and now I am back walking with just a cane - but I never know when I will fall on my butt or my leg will stop working.
> 
> Anyway, I have a handicapped parking sticker and use it to park close to stores, etc. I get nasty looks all the time for people because I guess the think I'm abusing the handicapped parking rules. I am fat too, and this doesn't help with the public sympathy. I've gotten to the point now where, I just don't give a damn. I'm 55 yrs old, and it doesn't take much to set me off. (Add to the fact, I am a little touched in the head too.)
> 
> Good luck to you tho, in your travels - there are a lot of people like that sales lady unfortunately. We just have to re-educate them (I try not to hit them with my cane tho - I might fall down again.)



Well it is an elite club, but I also have Multiple Sclerosis and have also had relapses of it in the past where walking was difficult. I know very well how you can feel well one day and then weak and terrible another day.
I am very well at the moment and in remission and long may it last.
My best wishes to you also, fellow MSer ad Dimmer. 
Shoshie


----------



## irish_redhead (Oct 10, 2007)

BigCutieQTPie said:


> I too remember instances where I would not eat in front of large crowds because I did not want to be stereotyped.



I have felt the same in the past. Now I just don't care... in fact, I make a point of enjoying something I am eating. 

What is really funny though, are the stares that my husband and I get while we're out. This is a man who hasn't gained more than 5 pounds in 12 years of marriage... he's 5'11", and about 160 lbs?.... Ever since we've been married, I've grown accustomed to his eating habits, which include another 2 or 3 meals after dinner (a snack is 2 boxes of KD, or a stack of grilled cheese sandwiches, or a steak). 

We've been out in restaurants and he'll order the family size fajitas... I'll have a burger or club sandwich or something. Just as we're finishing up, I end up ordering another daquiri to kill time, because he orders a second order of fajitas. People stare at the pile of plates on the table, and the waiters get a good laugh over how much he can eat. But he never gains a pound... that's when I sometimes get asked if I'm on a diet, or why I don't join him, and have to explain that I'm actually full!

At any other time - I don't give a shit if someone stares because I'm ordering and eating the same things they do. Usually I'm the one ordering salad and vegetables because I want to (I've gotten sick of meat and potatoes, I prefer to go for Thai or Japanese or something), and they're the ones nibbling on a carrot while pining over not being able to eat a burger or it will "wreck their diet".


----------



## Teresa (Oct 10, 2007)

JerseyGirl07093 said:


> Has this ever happened to you?........
> 
> ........ Early on I got the gist of what he was saying.
> He was trying to give me the name of some Doctor who was somehow involved with weightloss. I told him I already had a doctor that I was quite happy with and thank you very much.
> ...


 
My Aunt told me about WLS and that she was very worried about my health. She stopped when I began quoting statistics about the death rate of those who have had the surgery and the percentage of those who regain the weight and then how they also have all kinds of health problems related to the surgery. 

I've also come out of the post office and have had a newspaper article or some kind of ad about weightloss/WLS or some wonder drug under my windshield wiper. I just toss it in the trash. 

I've reached the point in my life that stuff like that doesn't upset me or make me angry. I have to respect/care for someone before their opinion matters to me. Most if not all who say something to me about my weight don't fall into those two categories.  

Teresa


----------



## Shosh (Oct 10, 2007)

BigCutieQTPie said:


> I have coined myself the resident Weight Watchers girl at work. Over the summer one of my co-workers felt compelled to point out that weight watchers isn't helping me much. She also pointed out that I have two wonderful children and a loving boyfriend. Obviously, she rehearsed her speech. I allowed her to finish and the hopped on my soapbox about being healthy and loving myself. As I began to point out to her that although I am clinically termed as morbidly obese I do not have high blood pressure or diabetes or any of the other comorbidities that come from being overweight. She then retorted with how I complain of my ankles swelling and blamed it all on my weight. I felt the need to defend myself to this woman who I only consider a co-worker when magically it clicked in my head and I hopped off my soapbox and ended the conversation.
> 
> I think we give these people to much power by letting their words affect us negatively. We should never have to defend ourselves for the shape and size of our bodies.
> 
> ...



Hi QT Pie,
I just wanted to say that you are very pretty and I wish I had the confidence that you have.
Best wishes to you mate.
Susannah


----------



## TallFatSue (Nov 15, 2007)

Yesterday some of my colleagues and I took a few people from a potential new client out to lunch, and we had a nice roomy corner booth for 6. Somehow the fattest person in the group (me) ended up in the middle! Well, after we ordered, the subject of my weight came up when one of them asked if I had ever tried to lose weight. Talk about pins-and-needles time! There we were, trying to make a good impressions with the propect of a valuable new account, just sitting down to a sumptuous lunch, and one of our guests decides to ask if I've ever tried to lose weight! Luckily I resisted the urge to shove his face into his appetizer. So, with a calm demeanor and my most pleasant smile, I said "No, I never have." :huh:

This topic went on for about 5 minutes, and at first I was nervous and annoyed, because I didn't know whether he was fatphobic or testing me or whatever. However, it probably would have been a very poor business move to tell him to kiss my big fat ass. So, I decided to assume that he was simply curious, and I put on my best face and forged ahead. To paraphrase, next he asked if I had ever considered weight loss, and I said "it would probably be more convenient if I weren't so big, but with all the other positives in my life I find my size to be very confortable and manageable." How about my health? "Knowing the potential health risks, I monitor myself very closely and have regular checkups, and my doctor said I'm healthier than many of her other patients who assume they're healthy simply because they're thin, and therefore abuse their bodies. Besides, I tend to be positive and happy, which may be the best medicine, so I probably come out ahead." Have you always been heavy? "Yes, all my life, but there's much to be said for stability." Does your weight give you any problems? "Apart from the occasional chair and the occasional stare, I've found my size to be a net positive. It's taught me to think independently and creatively, and to helped me realize what is and is not truly important in life. I've been married 25 years, so evidently I've made some very good decisions. Besides, sometimes it's nice to stand out in a crowd. It helps that I'm tall too." Then he remarked that he noticed that the restaurant hostess greeted me by name, and thankfully changed the subject, and the rest of us turned to small talk and business chat. Whew! 

This is only a paraphrase of what I think I said. It's hard to remember the conversation because it really threw me off balance. Somehow methinx I kept my balance walking that tightrope though.


----------



## kr7 (Nov 15, 2007)

Sue, I think you handled yourself admirably. The thing that infuriates me about situations like this, is that I don't understand why perfect strangers feel that they have the right to know all sorts of personal details about your life, just because you happen to be fat. As long as it is somehow tied to your weight, you are obligated to sit there and share. I guess, I could see no harm in a question/answer session in certain situations, as a way to promote fat acceptance and whatnot, but not in a professional setting. It jut gets my dander up. Imagine a thin woman being given the third degree about her body by her professional peers. I don't think that would be looked too kindly upon. I dunno, maybe I'm just too sensitive.

Chris


----------



## LillyBBBW (Nov 15, 2007)

PrettyLife said:


> Some people are just plain ignorant and really just like to hear themselves talk and bask in their superior lifestyles. I've never had someone come up to me in a friendly manner to make comments about my weight but it's always the first thing to come up during an argument. Lately though, I get all sorts of comments from people about my baby daughter. The most annoying comment I've gotten lately is when *an older woman came up to me and said "oh what a cute little girl" then patted my back and said "don't worry, maybe the next one will be a boy". *Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.... :doh:



wtf!?! ...............


----------



## TallFatSue (Nov 15, 2007)

kr7 said:


> Sue, I think you handled yourself admirably. The thing that infuriates me about situations like this, is that I don't understand why perfect strangers feel that they have the right to know all sorts of personal details about your life, just because you happen to be fat. As long as it is somehow tied to your weight, you are obligated to sit there and share. I guess, I could see no harm in a question/answer session in certain situations, as a way to promote fat acceptance and whatnot, but not in a professional setting. It jut gets my dander up. Imagine a thin woman being given the third degree about her body by her professional peers. I don't think that would be looked too kindly upon. I dunno, maybe I'm just too sensitive.


Thank you, but I still think shoving his face into his appetizer would have been soooo satisfying. Naughty naughty, musn't suffocate customers bearing potentially big contracts, although somehow methinx his coworkers might have enjoyed that as much as everybody else. 

Agreed. They're visiting our competitor today, and I can just imagine the lunch-time conversation over there. "So, have you ever considered a nose job?" Maybe the third contender for this contract was eliminated last week because their feet were too big. I don't know why some people feel it's their business to discuss other people's business, unless it's because obesity is such a highly-visible "feature". But, if they insist on opening the door like that, I plan to shove in a little enlightenment. 

On the other hand, my experience as a manager in the world of office politics shows that many people like to throw each other off balance, either to try to advance themselves, for malicious amusement or whatever. Gee that reminds me: not too long ago on a National Geographic special I saw two kangaroos fighting each other on a golf course in Australia. In a way, that's not too different from watching the big boys play in the corporate world. Well, I suppose we humans are animals too, in our own ways. 

Let me tell you, one of the greatest gifts my fat has given me is an extra-large sense of humor! 


PrettyLife said:


> The most annoying comment I've gotten lately is when an older woman came up to me and said "oh what a cute little girl" then patted my back and said "don't worry, maybe the next one will be a boy". Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.... :doh:


Here's a prime example of people projecting their own thoughts, feelings or personal problems onto others. Maybe she had all girls, but wanted at least one boy for family variety, or whatever her reasoning. But she shouldn't assume everyone feels that way. 

This also makes me wonder what exactly Mr. Nosy might have been up to yesterday.


----------



## rabbitislove (Nov 15, 2007)

I can relate to GreenEyedFairy. I went to lunch with my sister, Grandpa and Aunts boyfriend. I'm a skinny broad, who likes food. So I ordered a hamburger with a putine and the boyfriend put his hand on my stomach and was like "Oh you don't need that, you need to stay skinny". Plus I've gotten numerous comments from relatives that I need to stay skinny and could be a model (not possible when your only 5'3.)

Also, when I was on Accutane three years ago, some guy at the dermatologists office came up to me and told me to stop eating 'greasy food' and 'chocolate' because my skin looked so bad. My friends fiancee would also tell me to exfoliate. 

People just can't mind their own buisness and are probably motivated by the same reasons as the fiancee. I think I'm so enlightened and I must enlighten everyone else. I'd say keep your enlightenment under the basket, I'm not interested.


----------



## gangstadawg (Nov 15, 2007)

daddyoh70 said:


> Not that I condone violence, but don't you just feel like doing this sometimes ..
> 
> http://youtube.com/watch?v=feziEowWqyQ


damn OWNED!


----------



## Jane (Nov 15, 2007)

TallFatSue said:


> Thank you, but I still think shoving his face into his appetizer would have been soooo satisfying. Naughty naughty, musn't suffocate customers bearing potentially big contracts, although somehow methinx his coworkers might have enjoyed that as much as everybody else.
> 
> Agreed. They're visiting our competitor today, and I can just imagine the lunch-time conversation over there. "So, have you ever considered a nose job?" Maybe the third contender for this contract was eliminated last week because their feet were too big. I don't know why some people feel it's their business to discuss other people's business, unless it's because obesity is such a highly-visible "feature". But, if they insist on opening the door like that, I plan to shove in a little enlightenment.
> 
> ...



If your company doesn't get the contract, I would be tempted to email and ask him how it is to function in society with no sense of propriety.


----------



## butch (Nov 15, 2007)

I hadn't seen this thread before, so I'm going to address the OP. The particular instance you're describing may not have been quite what it appeared. yes, the guy was talking to you about weight loss because of his perceptions about the size of your body, and yes, it's incredibly rude for anyone to think that approaching strangers and giving weight loss advice is AOK, but I've had the same thing happen to me a few times lately, and because you mentioned the guy was talking about a particular doctor, I think the same thing happened to you that has happened to me-the guy is getting some sort of payment for spreading the word about a particular weight loss service.

I get latino guys on the bus who give me tiny pieces of paper, in Spanish, advertising weight loss clinics. Since they have a handful of these slips of paper, I guess they're the 'street team' in the latino community for the particular doctor and his clinic. So even though I find the presumption of my need and/or desire to lose weight obnoxious, I recognize that I'm being singled out not because the guy has a compulsion to articulate his opinion about fat, but because he's getting paid and is instructed to give it to all fat people he comes in contact with. So I don't take it personally, and I just toss away the slip of paper when I get to a trash can. Thus, out of sight, out of mind.

Still, it sucks even if this is what happened to you, and it sucks that all of us have these types of stories (my fave-the chubby to fat guy who passed me on the street and told me I needed to see Jenny [email protected]*&ker, have you looked in a mirror?), so I'm glad we feel safe enough to share them here.


----------



## JerseyGirl07093 (Nov 15, 2007)

OP here!

No, the guy that approached me that day wasn't advertising for some doctor, he didn't have cards or anything. He was all set to get out pen and paper and write the name down for me. How helpful! NOT!
It just never ceases to amaze me how others insinuate themselves into peoples lives when they have no business doing so. 
And a lot of times when people do approach you I just feel like saying 'thanks so much for telling me, I had no idea I was even fat!'. Like I don't live in this body every day, like I don't know. Ugh!


----------



## Jane (Nov 15, 2007)

JerseyGirl07093 said:


> OP here!
> 
> No, the guy that approached me that day wasn't advertising for some doctor, he didn't have cards or anything. He was all set to get out pen and paper and write the name down for me. How helpful! NOT!
> It just never ceases to amaze me how others insinuate themselves into peoples lives when they have no business doing so.
> And a lot of times when people do approach you I just feel like saying 'thanks so much for telling me, I had no idea I was even fat!'. Like I don't live in this body every day, like I don't know. Ugh!



Or write down the name of a good breath mint and hand it to them.


----------



## Sweet_Serenade (Nov 16, 2007)

Not that situation in particular, but something similar.
One time last summer I was just walking around a beautiful local park I like to spend my time around.
This fit looking woman approached me out of nowhere and it got awkward at light speed.
The woman basically became a living, breathing commercial.
The way she started talking to me was, seriously, all the lines of "I couldn't help but notice you, Ms, but I thought I would tell you I've lost 60lbs and know a great fitness instructor who can help you too."
I pretty much stood there stunned for a second.
I was offended by her intrusion, really.
I just said "thank you, but no thank you."
And pretty much walked away.
Thankfully only had one encounter like that
Still, really obnoxious.
I don't get why people can't realize that just because they didn't like themselves looking a certain way, doesn't mean I don't like it too.


----------



## TallFatSue (Nov 16, 2007)

Jane said:


> If your company doesn't get the contract, I would be tempted to email and ask him how it is to function in society with no sense of propriety.


After 2 months of negotiations and a final flurry of activity, we were on a conference call with them this morning. The bad news is we were not the lowest bidder, by only a few percentage points. The good news is we got their account anyway, because we made a good impression with our teamwork and ability to calmly give straight answers under pressure. After they hung up, a couple of our big muckymucks practically made skid marks halfway across town driving over to sign the contract, and I was more than happy to let them deal with it. 

Maybe Mr. Nosy's fat chat was meant to test me, because they poked and prodded my colleagues too. Good thing we put a few extra bucks into our proposal to deal with their BS. 

Lunchtime today was a feast of victory. :eat2:


----------



## love dubh (Nov 16, 2007)

Sweet_Serenade said:


> Not that situation in particular, but something similar.
> One time last summer I was just walking around a beautiful local park I like to spend my time around.
> This fit looking woman approached me out of nowhere and it got awkward at light speed.
> The woman basically became a living, breathing commercial.
> ...




You didn't ask for the information, so this cunt needn't provide it. What would have been nice, maybe, would have been if you were out jogging or speed walking and she gave a thumbs up and an encouraging word. I don't know how a fat woman would take that, though. Would that be condescending?


----------



## Sweet_Serenade (Nov 16, 2007)

love dubh said:


> You didn't ask for the information, so this cunt needn't provide it. What would have been nice, maybe, would have been if you were out jogging or speed walking and she gave a thumbs up and an encouraging word. I don't know how a fat woman would take that, though. Would that be condescending?



Depends really, anyone would take it differently. I mean, if I were actually trying to lose weight and someone just gave encouragement, I'd probably be happy, but it wasn't the case. I wasn't even jogging the day the woman approached me. (I use to jog just to keep my weight in check, not so much in the cold now though, and I don't know if I'll go back to it next year, I might.) So I just found the woman's comment quite rude. All I could think about after that was "Who does that?" Just approaching overweight people with ways to lose weight. It's like approaching a smoker with a nicotine patch or something. Except even more rude.


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 16, 2007)

The way some people seem so detached from what they are doing/saying when they approach this way, it makes me wonder about the brainwashing of our society. I suppose we already know it exists but it is making me recall the Stepford Wives. Someone else's standards that forgoes personal preferences/desires and doesn't even allow for pause in considering one's actions. Just be who and what is convenient for others......
It seems to never occur to them that someone else might not think that way.......kind of like an "EVERYBODY'S DOING IT!!!" type thing.....


----------



## Sweet_Serenade (Nov 16, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> The way some people seem so detached from what they are doing/saying when they approach this way, it makes me wonder about the brainwashing of our society. I suppose we already know it exists but it is making me recall the Stepford Wives. Someone else's standards that forgoes personal preferences/desires and doesn't even allow for pause in considering one's actions. Just be who and what is convenient for others......
> It seems to never occur to them that someone else might not think that way.......kind of like an "EVERYBODY'S DOING IT!!!" type thing.....



I agree completely!
It's sad how in society, it's almost as if opinion is trying to be locked away.
Constantly opinions are marketed as the truth, and it has completely damaging effects.
Basically brainwashing, and it seems so innocent.
But it's really pretty nasty, when you stop and think of it.

Like this whole thread and my experience is showing me, the effect this is having is getting out of hand.
When people stop you and pretty much say, "Be how the TV says we should be."
You know something is very wrong.

Even my own overcomplicating thoughts when I was coming to terms with my own opinion of beauty, looking back, it's so simple but it practically blew my head up. Thinking "why don't I want to lose weight?" or "Why do I like myself better, larger?" it just stuns me when I realize, oh yeah, people can have differing opinions. That's the answer to my confusion. And it's almost like a thought completely outside of the box these days to acknowledge individual opinion. Scary stuff.

/ramble


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 16, 2007)

Sweet_Serenade said:


> "Be how the TV says we should be."



I like this- I might put it on my quote line- do you mind?


----------



## Sweet_Serenade (Nov 16, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I like this- I might put it on my quote line- do you mind?



Nopers! I don't mind at all.

Happy I said something anyone found quote worthy, dear! Usually I think my input is either so awkward or rambly that it causes people to question my sanity. :blink:


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 16, 2007)

Sweet_Serenade said:


> Nopers! I don't mind at all.
> 
> Happy I said something anyone found quote worthy, dear! Usually I think my input is either so awkward or rambly that it causes people to question my sanity. :blink:




How's it look?


----------



## Sweet_Serenade (Nov 16, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> How's it look?



Awesomeness! But almost out of context. 
I don't want anyone thinking I said that.
I mean, I did, but in the context of what society wishes us to do.
Media is the new oppressive dictator of the world and all that jazzy jazz.

But you don't have to change it, I'm sure people probably wont take it the wrong way!
Thanks for quoting me! 
Glad I make some sense.


----------



## Jane (Nov 17, 2007)

TallFatSue said:


> After 2 months of negotiations and a final flurry of activity, we were on a conference call with them this morning. The bad news is we were not the lowest bidder, by only a few percentage points. The good news is we got their account anyway, because we made a good impression with our teamwork and ability to calmly give straight answers under pressure. After they hung up, a couple of our big muckymucks practically made skid marks halfway across town driving over to sign the contract, and I was more than happy to let them deal with it.
> 
> Maybe Mr. Nosy's fat chat was meant to test me, because they poked and prodded my colleagues too. Good thing we put a few extra bucks into our proposal to deal with their BS.
> 
> Lunchtime today was a feast of victory. :eat2:




WHEW!!! Glad he knew he was being a prig. That was my fear.

Congratulations...I would say you won the contract for your company. Now you have to deal with them. Catch-22


----------



## LillyBBBW (Nov 17, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> The way some people seem so detached from what they are doing/saying when they approach this way, it makes me wonder about the brainwashing of our society. I suppose we already know it exists but it is making me recall the Stepford Wives. Someone else's standards that forgoes personal preferences/desires and doesn't even allow for pause in considering one's actions. Just be who and what is convenient for others......
> It seems to never occur to them that someone else might not think that way.......kind of like an "EVERYBODY'S DOING IT!!!" type thing.....



Society has been trained to equate fat with illness. Someone who is fat must be in terrible health, in pain, suffering, miserable, unhappy, etc. Because they've had success somewhere or somehow feel empowered with a way to help they may approach someone and equate it with helping a woman with a baby carriage or giving a woman with cancer the name of a good doctor. In reality 90% of the world fully expects us to grip our chests, piss ourselves and have a heart attack at any time. They think it's worth the risk to tell you about something they've seen, heard or experienced that is good. I try not to get angry with these people because truly what they are doing is coming from a good place, misguided though it may be. Unless I'm in a really bad mood that day I smile warmly, tilt my head, take their little paper and say, "Aww, thank you so much," and keep walking. I have this theory that doing that is a more poignant but subtle way of making them think. They may realize that some people don't feel like they do and it may foster a little bit of embarassment on their part. A pipe dream I'm sure.


----------



## Jane (Nov 17, 2007)

When I was in college, one of my mother's co-workers invited me over to her house. She had a little one-on-one "intervention" telling me how she had lost weight years ago. I sat there, politely listening, thinking the whole time, "Yeah, and I notice how fucking happy you AREN'T now." Today I would say that. Maybe I was a better person then, or maybe my busybody quota has been filled since.


----------



## Bungle_Harris (Nov 17, 2007)

I get the same feeling, Lilly, about things myself about sometimes society feeling that being fat = being ill. I think that it's ironic that perhaps during the 19th century in Britian, being big was actually a sign of success. Nowadays, being _*slim*_ is seen as a sign of being successful!

Forgive me, as I have missed quite a bit about this thread, having just start reading it myself!

I too have had my fair share of experiances of people who thought they could impart wisdom to me about my size. One night, I climbed on a bus, and had to deal with the bus driver telling me as I got on the bus that "I want you to loose weight before I allow you back on this bus", just before telling me in front of the entire bus about how I'd feel better etc.

Back in college, I used to attend classes with a fitness instructor. I didn't have every class with him, but after about three weeks of politely listening to him trying to get me to visit the gym and how he could help me out, I asked him to quit (I felt guilty afterwards about how I snapped at him - I told him that I wasn't interested and to stop being so "obsessed" into getting me to the gym!)

I've been a big guy all my life, and I think I can be here all day with the experiances I've had!


----------



## Green Eyed Fairy (Nov 17, 2007)

Sweet_Serenade said:


> Awesomeness! *But almost out of context.*
> I don't want anyone thinking I said that.
> *I mean, I did, but in the context of what society wishes us to do.*
> Media is the new oppressive dictator of the world and all that jazzy jazz.
> ...




I thought it was quite ironic since I am using it on this forum- which is how I think others will most likely take it


----------



## Sweet_Serenade (Nov 17, 2007)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> I thought it was quite ironic since I am using it on this forum- which is how I think others will most likely take it



Ahh, alrighty!
That makes sense.


----------



## CandySmooch (Nov 18, 2007)

daddyoh70 said:


> Not that I condone violence, but don't you just feel like doing this sometimes ..
> 
> http://youtube.com/watch?v=feziEowWqyQ



I rather enjoyed the remix here........
http://youtube.com/watch?v=_98NLKIKVCs&feature=related


I am continually amazed at people sharing their stories of being chastised in public for being fat. Other than grade school & high school being made fun of.......I can't think of an instance in public where anyone has blatantly said or done anything because I'm fat........maybe its because I don't pay attention to anyone else, I don't know.


----------



## CandySmooch (Nov 18, 2007)

PrettyLife said:


> Lately though, I get all sorts of comments from people about my baby daughter. The most annoying comment I've gotten lately is when an older woman came up to me and said "oh what a cute little girl" then patted my back and said "don't worry, maybe the next one will be a boy". Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.... :doh:



What the hell is that supposed to mean??? I don't get it........


----------



## AnnMarie (Nov 18, 2007)

love dubh said:


> You didn't ask for the information, so this cunt needn't provide it. What would have been nice, maybe, would have been if you were out jogging or speed walking and she gave a thumbs up and an encouraging word. I don't know how a fat woman would take that, though. Would that be condescending?




Yes, to me it would be. Not because of the actual gesture, but because of the thought behind it. Like "good for you, you're changing yourself from that thing you are to something more socially acceptable" which is the usual thought process behind a gesture like that. 

If it were a simple... wow, good job, 5 more minutes! thing... then fine. But when I was going to the gym a year or so ago... it was an endless stream of disapproving faces or "good for you, finally conquering that body" faces... when in fact I had no intention to change my body, just to get more activity. 

So, yeah, it's about the assumption that those "atta'boys" come laced with that's the problem.


----------



## goldendiamondeyes (Nov 21, 2007)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> The world is full of busybodies -- which, I suppose, is why the word 'busybody' exists. I put on my best poker face, nod slightly at them, and murmur, "Thank you for your concern. So kind," in my most sincere voice. Then I go on with whatever I was doing.



_*How true and tell me why it always seems to be the older people (Grey haired ones) that seem to think they have to tell us solutions for taking care of our "FAT Problem".*_:doh:


----------

