# Have you ever been bribed to lose weight?



## Piink (Mar 1, 2011)

Ugh, sometimes I could just slap my boyfriends mother. :doh: Last night she decided to bribe him with money to lose weight. (_He moved in with me recently but he stayed at her house this week to help her since she had a relapse with her MS_.) Anywho, she tells him that if he loses down to 190 that she will pay him $200, and for every year he keeps the weight off an extra $500. 

She constantly bitches about his weight. He has gained around 50+ lbs. since moving in with me. When we go to visit she will poke at his belly and shake it and just stare at it! She is mad about him gaining the weight. She starved him when he lived with her. Literally, starved him. She would only buy enough food that would last the 'average' person 3 days and made it last for almost 2 weeks. When we started dating, we went out a lot. So he gained a few then. But he really didn't start until we moved in together.

Even when he tells her to shut up about it, she does for only the rest of the day. It just really irks my nerves. Sometimes I think that she doesn't want to be in public with him unless he is _skinny_. I think it is ridiculous. 

To her fat = lazy slob. Sometimes, I wonder what she thinks about me? But, then again, if I ever found out I probably would slap her. 

Has anyone else had to deal with something similar?


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## ThatFatGirl (Mar 1, 2011)

Yes. My mom has offered me everything from cash to a European vacation to her wedding ring from her marriage to my father. She had it made into a lovely cocktail ring and told me if I lost weight I wouldn't have to wait until she was dead to get it. I can relate to what your bf is going through. It sounds like he needs to draw the line with his mother. Shaking his belly and poking?! :doh: I guess for your bf it's a matter of how upsetting is it to him?

I got to a point where I just couldn't take it anymore. Every time my mother and I got together, she'd bring up dieting or my weight. I had to give her an ultimatum. I told her I loved her and wanted to spend time with her, but if all she wanted to talk about was the latest diet fad or what she believes I'm doing to my health, we would be seeing less of each other. I told her I know everything there is to know about dieting and I've heard every warning there is from every doctor I've ever seen. From her I needed her love and support, someone to listen to me and be there for me. I think she got it as well as she could and things got better. She still brings things up from time to time, but she's nearly 70 and not entirely stable these days. 

I hope things get better with your bf's mother. Ultimately, it doesn't matter what she thinks. Be happy, live your lives.


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## Miss Vickie (Mar 1, 2011)

So, if you bf's mother has enough money to bribe him for losing weight and keeping it off, she can pay someone to stay with her and make her meals and wipe her butt. Then at least that person can be paid to take the abuse, as opposed to your boyfriend who is doing nothing more than trying to help his mum.

I'm less concerned about the bribery and more concerned about her negative comments, the lack of food in the house, and the control issues she's evidencing. Man alive, he needs to cut the cord. Give her the names of some good at home nursing care agencies (if she's disabled then her disability should pay for it) and get the hell out of there. He's doing her a favor staying with her; if she can't see that at her age, then there's little hope she ever will.

Good luck!


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## Deacone (Mar 1, 2011)

My uncle bribed me to lose weight. I come from an asian family - so they're dicks when it comes to being the large one in the family - he bribed me 5000 GBP to lose (what converted to) 9 stone. 

I still haven't done it.

That'll teach him - the tosser lol..


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## Lamia (Mar 1, 2011)

I was always bribed by my mother with the promise of a new wardrobe...probably why I've always hated clothes...My grandmother bought me and my mother a number of weight loss items including DEAL A MEAL.


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## Alicia33 (Mar 1, 2011)

This was the story of my life growing up. It seemed like all my self worth was contained in a number on a scale. I know my family tried to mean well, but all it did was cause me to have eating disorders and warped issues with myself. I catch my mom doing the same with my oldest daughter and I nip it in the bud! I wonder if I could bribe people to not be an idiot? Ughh.....This irks me to no end


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## Carrie (Mar 1, 2011)

ThatFatGirl said:


> Yes. My mom has offered me everything from cash to a European vacation to her wedding ring from her marriage to my father. She had it made into a lovely cocktail ring and told me if I lost weight I wouldn't have to wait until she was dead to get it. I can relate to what your bf is going through. It sounds like he needs to draw the line with his mother. Shaking his belly and poking?! :doh: I guess for your bf it's a matter of how upsetting is it to him?
> 
> I got to a point where I just couldn't take it anymore. Every time my mother and I got together, she'd bring up dieting or my weight. I had to give her an ultimatum. I told her I loved her and wanted to spend time with her, but if all she wanted to talk about was the latest diet fad or what she believes I'm doing to my health, we would be seeing less of each other. I told her I know everything there is to know about dieting and I've heard every warning there is from every doctor I've ever seen. From her I needed her love and support, someone to listen to me and be there for me. I think she got it as well as she could and things got better. She still brings things up from time to time, but she's nearly 70 and not entirely stable these days.
> 
> I hope things get better with your bf's mother. Ultimately, it doesn't matter what she thinks. Be happy, live your lives.


Oh, Laura. Your mom and my dad, yikes! When I was 15 I weighed about 180, and at a very athletic & muscular 5'11" could not even be classified as chubby (not that that even matters, as it's never okay to bribe someone to lose weight. I just want to illustrate how nutty my dad was about this). My dad, though, was so unhappily obsessed with my weight he offered me $1,000 towards a new wardrobe if I'd lose 50 pounds (and we were not particularly well off, to give you an idea of how badly he wanted this). I don't know why, but 130 lbs. was always his pie-in-the-sky ideal weight for me. That didn't happen, of course, though I tried very hard (sidebar: 800 calorie per day diet for active 15 year old = NOT a good thing). 

My mom did her part, too, and I had a similar conversation with her in my mid-twenties, when I told her my weight was simply no longer up for debate, and if she persisted in bringing it up I'd stop talking to her. I made my point by leaving while she was in mid-sentence later that afternoon. She hasn't brought it up since. 

Piink, so sorry you and your bf are going through this. Most of us here know how incredibly hurtful it is for this kind of thing to be coming from a loved one, in particular. I agree that you will probably be better off if your bf can put some distance between his mother and him, ultimately. Does he have a sibling or someone else who can help her with her MS when needed (temporarily, anyway), so he can give a "no more" ultimatum and mean it?


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## HottiMegan (Mar 1, 2011)

My mom has always been my source of weight abuse. When i was a little girl, she'd buy pretty dresses that she knew i'd love. She bought them in 2 sizes smaller than i'd wear. (this was when i was modeling too! So it's not like i was THAT huge!) She said she'd buy me a car if i got down to a certain weight. She has said even recently that she'd pay for the plastic surgery to take care of all my lose skin if i lost the weight. She always made comments of me, you'll be able to do this or that when you lose weight. Like my life was on hold because of may fat. She'd say that i need to lose weight to find a job. Everything bad in my life is because i'm fat. When she visits sometimes, i go to bed crying because of the comments she makes. 
It's not like she's thin either. She hovers between a 22 and a 24 depending on her emotional status.
I grew up hating everything about myself. I loathed the fact that i was forced to be alive. I still dont like myself. I don't understand how people can even stand to be around me. It hurts growing up knowing that you're less than...

I hope your boyfriend can either avoid his mom or put her in her place. She is misbehaving and don't let her disease stand in the way of demanding humane treatment.


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## Azrael (Mar 1, 2011)

Was never really bribed to lose weight just had the semi nagging mother as a kid and I always told her "But I never get sick, I'm healthy" even though she would always stress weight.

I had that and some "lovely" friends who used to push it on me (physically).

Needless to say, _I lost weight_ and went down to 140 at 6'2 in grade 12.

Ofcourse it just goes to show you that you can't please people and instead of the "lose weight" mantra I got the "eat a damn cheeseburger or you're going to die" mantra, from everbody. And it had much more pressure than when they wanted me to lose weight.

Just goes to show you, you can't please people.


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## BBW MeganLynn44DD (Mar 1, 2011)

I was bribed last year when I was going for fittings for my wedding dress.My mother-in-law would always say "You'd look soooo much prettier if you could fit into a normal size."Needless to say,I actually gained before I got married and am still gaining.


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## KHayes666 (Mar 1, 2011)

Many years ago my soon to be father in law bribed my g/f to lose weight by paying for a plane ticket to Florida.

Why bribe someone to lose weight if they're going to be out of your sight for the next 3 months? lol


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## JMNYC (Mar 1, 2011)

Yes, indeed. Was promised a minibike at age 11 from my Mom if I lost 20 pounds.

Didn't have a problem with my body, had no clue as to how to lose any weight, didn't lose weight, didn't get the bike.


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## olwen (Mar 1, 2011)

When I was a kid my mother tried to bribe me with clothes mostly and sometimes money. Just made me angry.


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## Piink (Mar 1, 2011)

He is the only person she has. She basically hides herself away from society (And then complains about how she has no-one but him). She has no other family. I honestly think there is something wrong with her mentally. She is obssesed with fat and not in a good way. 

He does put his foot down, but not very roughly. He will always say "It's my body, who cares?" She will then procede to say "I'm your mother and I say you need to. *Blah, blah, blah". He is a 20 y.o. man, I'm pretty sure he can decide how he wants to live with himself. _Though, when she did make a comment about me and my weight he had a sh*t fit and she has never said another word about me. _

He has said he does want to lose a *some* weight to see if it will ease off his back pain some. But not as much as she is saying he has to lose. I just don't think it is right for her to act the way she does. 

*Usually when she starts I just get up and leave the room. I don't stick around long enough to hear what else she wants to bitch about.


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## Sasquatch! (Mar 1, 2011)

Damn, I wish somebody bribed me £5000GBP to lose 9 stone. Would solve a lot of financial issues!


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## Mishty (Mar 1, 2011)

My weight has been a constant battle between my parents, my Daddy married my Mama and she was fat, his own Mama was a thick Irish woman, and all three of his sisters are broad, and fat. I always thought everything was fine when I was girl, I was fatter than all my cousins, I had a pot belly and chubby cheeks as long as I can remember. I just took after the Henderson's was the excuse everyone gave. I was spoiled with food, I remember being six and getting off the bus, and Mama had me taffy,Reece's and rootbeer in the car waiting. I was allowed to get anything I wanted at the Mom and Pop she stopped at to get gas, or smokes, usually meant a bag of chips and a little brown bag with a two dollars worth of gummi worms.(40 or so). So before I got home I had consumed my daily amount of calories. I was just a kid, and she had been extremely poor and anemic growing up, so she let me eat as often and as much as I wanted no limits. Giving me what she never had. 

Apparently it's okay to be a fat girl, but not a fat young lady. When I was ten Mama noticed how thick I still was, I wasn't thinning out, and dropping my baby fat. The snacks stopped some what, but I was still stuffed with goodies by family everyday. 

Her intentions were okay in the beginning(I think), she put me into every sport I could handle, during the Summer I swam hours every day, Fall I played soccer, volleyball during the spring, and winter I had to ride a mountain bike every weekend down a trail. I never lost any weight. Not a single ounce. After two years of no results, I was made to replace a meal with Slim-fast. Nothing. With nothing to show for all her hard work Mama got frustrated, and took me to my doctor for blood work, to check my thyroid. When it came back only slightly abnormal, Dr.D and Mama made the decision to put me on Redux. I was 5'4 188 pounds, 12 years old and on Fen-Phen. _"for Fen-Phen, a drug "cocktail" combination of fenfluramine and phentermine"_

Daddy wasn't really involved that much when I was younger, he was a heavy drinker, he worked a lot, so I don't think he had any idea what was going on. I didn't take my diet pills properly though, instead of taking one a day, I just took five on Friday before Mama counted my pills in the organizer. I wasn't on Redux long though, because FDA yanked it from the market after strokes, and heart murmurs were reported. The only reason Daddy even knew something had went wrong was because the insurance didn't cover any of the special tests I had get for heart defects. When Mama explained to him I had been on diet pills things got really ugly. He was livid. He said I was a healthy normal girl, and the dieting bullshit was to stop. He said mean things about her weight, mean things about her family, about her lifestyle. 

For every step she took to make me healthy he took one to make up for it. If she bought me diet Coke, he brought me home an entire pecan pie. She took me to the pool to a swim meet, he took me to the fair and let me cram myself stupid with pizza and candy apples. Confusion is an understatement. I was almost in high school when the bribing started. As a freshman and almost 250 pounds, and was promised a VW Beetle and a trip to Disney World if I lost 100 pounds. I actually tried to lose the weight. I ate whole wheat and fat free turkey sandwiches every day for lunch, with Grape-nuts and yogurt for breakfast. I couldn't lose weight though. I told Daddy I needed a pool membership for the Winter months to lose the weight for the trip, he was furious again, and bought my Disney package without talking to Mama, she was pissed. Said I couldn't go. I went, was to fat to ride some of the rides, and it almost ruined my trip. 

My junior year she said if I could fit into a size 14 dress by prom she would rent a limo, a pool, buy me any dress, would let me stay out as long as a wanted. Being a size 24, I didn't even try. There was no use. I had four months to drop ten sizes. Thanks Ma. 

When I was 20, she offered me a trip to Ireland if I once again lost 100 pounds. I told her I had a job, and I'd get my own ticket. She hasn't mentioned it since. She's accepted me, I think more in the last two years than my whole life. She had a heart attack in 2006, and will from time to time, mention I'm going to be just like her, if I'm not careful. 

She did mention last year I should be on The Biggest Loser.... but she did so with a wink, so I didn't really take it to heart.


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## Miss Vickie (Mar 1, 2011)

Piink said:


> He is the only person she has. She basically hides herself away from society (And then complains about how she has no-one but him). She has no other family. I honestly think there is something wrong with her mentally. She is obssesed with fat and not in a good way.



Right. That's why I suggested that she hire a home nurse or nurse's aide to help her with her ADL's. If she has enough money to bribe him to lose weight she has enough money to pay for someone to help her around the house. And, if she's disabled -- again, as I said before -- often insurance companies or disability or medicare will pay for it under certain circumstances. It's way cheaper for them to pay to keep a patient at home and pay for someone to come in for a few hours a day (or even 24 hours a day) than pay for full inpatient care. 



> He does put his foot down, but not very roughly.



Well, he's going to have to, but that will be his battle. I know my adult kids would never accept such crap from me (at any age) and rightfully so. I'm glad he stood up for you but still... he has to stand up for himself. Do you really want a guy who is so easy to control? (Just a rhetorical question...) She won't live forever, but his issues with so easily accepting control and insults may well be unless he starts to work on them.

Good luck!


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## Brenda (Mar 1, 2011)

My step mother offered me $500 to lose 40 lbs the summer I was 15 years old. I lost it and she refused to pay saying I would need to keep it off for an unknown period of time. This after years of verbal abuse, being forced on diets and deprived proper clothing because I was fat really finished off our relationship.


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## CastingPearls (Mar 1, 2011)

A guy I was casually dating told me he'd marry me if I lost 100 lbs. I told him to fuck off.

A boss offered a significant raise if I would lose weight and when I graciously  turned down his offer, he then asked for oral sex.

I can't make this shit up.


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## Alicia33 (Mar 1, 2011)

Mishty said:


> My weight has been a constant battle between my parents, my Daddy married my Mama and she was fat, his own Mama was a thick Irish woman, and all three of his sisters are broad, and fat. I always thought everything was fine when I was girl, I was fatter than all my cousins, I had a pot belly and chubby cheeks as long as I can remember. I just took after the Henderson's was the excuse everyone gave. I was spoiled with food, I remember being six and getting off the bus, and Mama had me taffy,Reece's and rootbeer in the car waiting. I was allowed to get anything I wanted at the Mom and Pop she stopped at to get gas, or smokes, usually meant a bag of chips and a little brown bag with a two dollars worth of gummi worms.(40 or so). So before I got home I had consumed my daily amount of calories. I was just a kid, and she had been extremely poor and anemic growing up, so she let me eat as often and as much as I wanted no limits. Giving me what she never had.
> 
> Apparently it's okay to be a fat girl, but not a fat young lady. When I was ten Mama noticed how thick I still was, I wasn't thinning out, and dropping my baby fat. The snacks stopped some what, but I was still stuffed with goodies by family everyday.
> 
> ...





The Redux Fen-Phen part is exactly just like what I was put through! I remember being about 12 and so on edge from all the diet pills, I could never sit still, and I couldn't sleep, and I sure enough didn't hardly eat! Bad memories there for sure


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## Sweet Tooth (Mar 1, 2011)

JMNYC said:


> Yes, indeed. Was promised a minibike at age 11 from my Mom if I lost 20 pounds.
> 
> Didn't have a problem with my body, had no clue as to how to lose any weight, didn't lose weight, didn't get the bike.



Ugh. Similar story. [Just the most memorable of the many bribes.]

I used to love to ride a bike. I was always an active kid, and biking was probably my absolute favorite physical activity. My parents didn't have a lot of money, so the last time they bought me one was when I was like 8. I got too tall for that, so I'd sometimes ride my sister's 10-speed but she was in college at the time and took it with her.

My parents offered to buy me my own 10-speed if I lost 20 pounds off of my size 18 body in a month. I lost 18 1/2 pounds. They didn't buy it for me. I haven't had a bike since. I know I could buy one for myself at this stage of life, but I'm not sure I'd be comfortable on one now after all these years of not biking. And I feel like a favorite pastime was taken from me by caring, but then-clueless, parenting.

Jeez, you'd think they'd have WANTED me to be active and exercising.


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## pegz (Mar 1, 2011)

Bribes? Clothes...I wish! Money....I wish! I recall having a conversation with my mother that wasn't going well and I said "just tell me you love me". She replied, "Lose 50 lbs and I will". A moment in my life I will never forget.


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## LovelyLiz (Mar 2, 2011)

Yeah, I'd say for me the majority of it was for intangibles, like: "Lose weight for my approval" or "Lose weight so one day someone will love you" or something more like that. 

Though I do remember when I was in high school my mom didn't want me to go on pointe in ballet unless I weighed 140 (where that number came from, the world will never know). I may have arrived at that number just long enough to get the pointe shoes, I don't remember - I mean, I got them, but I don't remember if I had actually reached the goal, and I never took a pointe class (I did take regular ballet for 12 years, though). But I do remember that I was about 190 or so at the end of high school.

There would also a reward that every time I lost like 10 pounds we would go eat salad and breadsticks for lunch at Olive Garden. Is it kind of weird and jacked up to give a food reward to someone on a diet? I think so. But I think my mom just wanted an excuse to eat at Olive Garden.


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## NurseVicki (Mar 2, 2011)

Piink said:


> Ugh, sometimes I could just slap my boyfriends mother. :doh: Last night she decided to bribe him with money to lose weight. (_He moved in with me recently but he stayed at her house this week to help her since she had a relapse with her MS_.) Anywho, she tells him that if he loses down to 190 that she will pay him $200, and for every year he keeps the weight off an extra $500.
> 
> She constantly bitches about his weight. He has gained around 50+ lbs. since moving in with me. When we go to visit she will poke at his belly and shake it and just stare at it! She is mad about him gaining the weight. She starved him when he lived with her. Literally, starved him. She would only buy enough food that would last the 'average' person 3 days and made it last for almost 2 weeks. When we started dating, we went out a lot. So he gained a few then. But he really didn't start until we moved in together.
> 
> ...



Sadly many of us have family members that think it is ok to bribe or yell or fuss or tell us to lose weight it tends to work in in reverse we tend to gain weight not loss it ! My Mother too would buy clothing to small or offer to buy things for me if I would only lose weight ! I finally had a big ole fight with her about it and told her she had to accept me as I am and leave off the weight topic or I wouldn't be coming around any more! We are still in each others life and though she occasionally brings it up it is easy to to remind her that topic is off limits unless I want to talk about it! It never really goes away but it can be controlled! Of course the talk must be started by your BF and he must maintain it since folks seem to forget and return to old habits if allowed!


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## NurseVicki (Mar 2, 2011)

pegz said:


> Bribes? Clothes...I wish! Money....I wish! I recall having a conversation with my mother that wasn't going well and I said "just tell me you love me". She replied, "Lose 50 lbs and I will". A moment in my life I will never forget.


 WOW I am so Sorry hugs I love you and I dont even know you ! This made me want to cry ! Remember the good throw out the bad I hope for you that you have found out you are lovable no matter what your size !


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## NurseVicki (Mar 2, 2011)

mcbeth said:


> Yeah, I'd say for me the majority of it was for intangibles, like: "Lose weight for my approval" or "Lose weight so one day someone will love you" or something more like that.
> 
> Though I do remember when I was in high school my mom didn't want me to go on pointe in ballet unless I weighed 140 (where that number came from, the world will never know). I may have arrived at that number just long enough to get the pointe shoes, I don't remember - I mean, I got them, but I don't remember if I had actually reached the goal, and I never took a pointe class (I did take regular ballet for 12 years, though). But I do remember that I was about 190 or so at the end of high school.
> 
> There would also a reward that every time I lost like 10 pounds we would go eat salad and breadsticks for lunch at Olive Garden. Is it kind of weird and jacked up to give a food reward to someone on a diet? I think so. But I think my mom just wanted an excuse to eat at Olive Garden.



Funny My mom would tell me I was fat and I need to lose weight. Then when I eat right and did then she get mad when I refused her chocolate cake Because I was trying to lose weight! Talk about confused?


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## NurseVicki (Mar 2, 2011)

Lamia said:


> I was always bribed by my mother with the promise of a new wardrobe...probably why I've always hated clothes...My grandmother bought me and my mother a number of weight loss items including DEAL A MEAL.


 OH Ugh diet as a present say it isnt so ! So Sad what folks do to others in the name of Love!


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## NurseVicki (Mar 2, 2011)

Alicia33 said:


> This was the story of my life growing up. It seemed like all my self worth was contained in a number on a scale. I know my family tried to mean well, but all it did was cause me to have eating disorders and warped issues with myself. I catch my mom doing the same with my oldest daughter and I nip it in the bud! I wonder if I could bribe people to not be an idiot? Ughh.....This irks me to no end


 Good that you nip in the bud keep a strong eye on it I found out some things my mom did to my son recently hes 27 and man I didn't watch her close enough sigh!


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## NurseVicki (Mar 2, 2011)

HottiMegan said:


> My mom has always been my source of weight abuse. When i was a little girl, she'd buy pretty dresses that she knew i'd love. She bought them in 2 sizes smaller than i'd wear. (this was when i was modeling too! So it's not like i was THAT huge!) She said she'd buy me a car if i got down to a certain weight. She has said even recently that she'd pay for the plastic surgery to take care of all my lose skin if i lost the weight. She always made comments of me, you'll be able to do this or that when you lose weight. Like my life was on hold because of may fat. She'd say that i need to lose weight to find a job. Everything bad in my life is because i'm fat. When she visits sometimes, i go to bed crying because of the comments she makes.
> It's not like she's thin either. She hovers between a 22 and a 24 depending on her emotional status.
> I grew up hating everything about myself. I loathed the fact that i was forced to be alive. I still dont like myself. I don't understand how people can even stand to be around me. It hurts growing up knowing that you're less than...
> 
> I hope your boyfriend can either avoid his mom or put her in her place. She is misbehaving and don't let her disease stand in the way of demanding humane treatment.



Man So very cruel I do hope you have help, I feel your pain if your Still feeling this way you do need some help with this! big hugs ! Please dont go on hating yourself you can do every thing you want to even, if you been told you cant because of your weight! I done lots of things I was told I could not do because I was fat! You Have to believe in yourself, ignore everyone who isn't positive and let your self free! Again hugs and it is important that you get emotional support because the trials you been though have made you stronger you must push yourself to be more to accept yourself and embrace you! Find someone to help you work with your mother, your no longer a child do not take this abuse any more!


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## NurseVicki (Mar 2, 2011)

Carrie said:


> Oh, Laura. Your mom and my dad, yikes! When I was 15 I weighed about 180, and at a very athletic & muscular 5'11" could not even be classified as chubby (not that that even matters, as it's never okay to bribe someone to lose weight. I just want to illustrate how nutty my dad was about this). My dad, though, was so unhappily obsessed with my weight he offered me $1,000 towards a new wardrobe if I'd lose 50 pounds (and we were not particularly well off, to give you an idea of how badly he wanted this). I don't know why, but 130 lbs. was always his pie-in-the-sky ideal weight for me. That didn't happen, of course, though I tried very hard (sidebar: 800 calorie per day diet for active 15 year old = NOT a good thing).
> 
> My mom did her part, too, and I had a similar conversation with her in my mid-twenties, when I told her my weight was simply no longer up for debate, and if she persisted in bringing it up I'd stop talking to her. I made my point by leaving while she was in mid-sentence later that afternoon. She hasn't brought it up since.
> 
> ...



I agree with this too !


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## NurseVicki (Mar 2, 2011)

Azrael said:


> Was never really bribed to lose weight just had the semi nagging mother as a kid and I always told her "But I never get sick, I'm healthy" even though she would always stress weight.
> 
> I had that and some "lovely" friends who used to push it on me (physically).
> 
> ...


 OMG No you can't Poor thing


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## NurseVicki (Mar 2, 2011)

Brenda said:


> My step mother offered me $500 to lose 40 lbs the summer I was 15 years old. I lost it and she refused to pay saying I would need to keep it off for an unknown period of time. This after years of verbal abuse, being forced on diets and deprived proper clothing because I was fat really finished off our relationship.


 Your better off with out that relatonship it was abusive!


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## NurseVicki (Mar 2, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> A guy I was casually dating told me he'd marry me if I lost 100 lbs. I told him to fuck off.
> 
> A boss offered a significant raise if I would lose weight and when I graciously  turned down his offer, he then asked for oral sex.
> 
> I can't make this shit up.




I was told he divorce his wife and marry me and I tried to lose it but realized he wasn't going to do it and even if I did lose it cause he was feeding me when he saw i was losing I dumped him soon after !

Never had any one at work ask me to lose weight or blow him but then my bosses were all woman lol but did have a special chair made by my boss and was told to use only it! Which I took in stride cause I could tell every one to get out of my chair haha I know it was because of my size and Ive broken chairs before but Hey LOL ( She was very nice when she presented it too)


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## dro5150 (Mar 2, 2011)

My grandpa told me when I was around 18 or so and at the time about 400 pounds or more he would pay me $10,000 to loose the weight. 

I really hated him for that but laugh about it now.


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## KHayes666 (Mar 2, 2011)

pegz said:


> Bribes? Clothes...I wish! Money....I wish! I recall having a conversation with my mother that wasn't going well and I said "just tell me you love me". She replied, "Lose 50 lbs and I will". A moment in my life I will never forget.



Those types of people make me sick, judging their own family based on looks. No offense to you of course but that's not right.


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## Dmitra (Mar 2, 2011)

My dad was the big one for pushing weight loss directly at me but he didn't out and out said he'd give me XYZ if I lost weight. His approach was more I'll buy any diet or do anything so that the boys would be beating down the door to get at me, which I found very unfatherly (like many of his attitudes were). I got to the point where I went for periods of not eating solid food. Once I did this for 10 days and was extremely surprised when dad actually yelled at me to eat. I'd thought he'd approve of starvation. He also seemed to approve of my smoking so maybe he unintentionally bribed me by buying cigarettes instead of candy or such. He was also terribly self-hating about being fat which didn't help anyone around him. 

My mother is a chronic dieter but with her megalomaniac schizophrenia it was mainly directed at herself, though she has had some slyness with her observations of myself. Both parents were big on food as rewards and that with the other doublethink contradictions really set the craziness in stone.


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## CastingPearls (Mar 2, 2011)

Oh, I forgot about this one...LOL....a neighbor, a much older woman, asked me to help her with something and we were chatting pleasantly and at one point she looked up at me and studied my face for a long time and then shook her head sadly and said, 'You know, if you lost a hundred (that magical re-occurring number) pounds, I'd introduce you to my grandson, THE DOCTOR. You're such a beautiful girl, but I couldn't bear introducing him to such a big girl, you know, because of appearances and such. He has an image to maintain. Nothing personal.'


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## thatgirl08 (Mar 2, 2011)

I was definitely bribed by my parents and my grandparents (on my mothers side) to lose weight. I was mostly offered clothing and money but I was also occasionally offered specific gifts and trips. It never worked.


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## LovelyLiz (Mar 2, 2011)

thatgirl08 said:


> I was definitely bribed by my parents and my grandparents (on my mothers side) to lose weight. I was mostly offered clothing and money but I was also occasionally offered specific gifts and trips. It never worked.



Yeah, I think that's the recurring theme here, eh? The bribing never actually is an effective way to get someone to drop the pounds. What a shock! 

Or has anyone actually had significant long-term (or even short-term) weight loss due to a bribe?


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## musicman (Mar 2, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> Oh, I forgot about this one...LOL....a neighbor, a much older woman, asked me to help her with something and we were chatting pleasantly and at one point she looked up at me and studied my face for a long time and then shook her head sadly and said, 'You know, if you lost a hundred (that magical re-occurring number) pounds, I'd introduce you to my grandson, THE DOCTOR. You're such a beautiful girl, but I couldn't bear introducing him to such a big girl, you know, because of appearances and such. He has an image to maintain. Nothing personal.'



Oh, wow, what an incredible insult! As if you'd even be interested in a man who was that shallow. (I guess the movie got it wrong. Who knew that "Shallow Hal" was actually a doctor?)


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## thatgirl08 (Mar 3, 2011)

mcbeth said:


> Yeah, I think that's the recurring theme here, eh? The bribing never actually is an effective way to get someone to drop the pounds. What a shock!
> 
> Or has anyone actually had significant long-term (or even short-term) weight loss due to a bribe?



I think my parents thought it would work with weight loss because it always worked with my grades.. I got pretty good grades anyway but when they bribed me with money or whatever I ALWAYS had straight A's (until high school at least.) But, good grades was something I felt I had complete control of.. weight, not so much.


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## disconnectedsmile (Mar 3, 2011)

CastingPearls said:


> A boss offered a significant raise if I would lose weight and when I graciously  turned down his offer, he then asked for oral sex.


dear penthouse...


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## KittyKitten (Mar 3, 2011)

I can tell you that nagging, bribing or teasing will not make ANYONE lose weight. That just makes me eat even more. I was never bribed to lose weight, but I know my mother constantly nagged. It tears at your self confidence either way. I'm still on a journey to love my body, but it is getting better. 

And Casting, I also get the 'you're such a beautiful girl, but you need to lose...." mantra by two female doctors, two of my aunts, and my mother. Funny no man has ever complained about my weight, well, not to my face. Sometimes I feel that women are the biggest perpetrators of fatphobia, and it is due to alot of societal pressure from the media for women to look a certain way.

My dad never criticized my weight, I was always his beautiful little girl.

"You're such a beautiful girl, but..........." Whatever!


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## Tau (Mar 5, 2011)

OMG a doctor Lainey!!! And you refused to loose a 100 pounds for a whole doctor!!  My word the utter, hateful crap that people spew sometimes just takes my breath away.



CastingPearls said:


> Oh, I forgot about this one...LOL....a neighbor, a much older woman, asked me to help her with something and we were chatting pleasantly and at one point she looked up at me and studied my face for a long time and then shook her head sadly and said, 'You know, if you lost a hundred (that magical re-occurring number) pounds, I'd introduce you to my grandson, THE DOCTOR. You're such a beautiful girl, but I couldn't bear introducing him to such a big girl, you know, because of appearances and such. He has an image to maintain. Nothing personal.'


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## LovelyLiz (Mar 5, 2011)

Tau said:


> OMG a doctor Lainey!!! And you refused to loose a 100 pounds for a whole doctor!!  My word the utter, hateful crap that people spew sometimes just takes my breath away.



I know, right? The response that crossed my mind was, "Hey, I already have my own doctor who is always on me to lose 100 pounds. Don't need another one."


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## littlefairywren (Mar 6, 2011)

My ex mother-in-law thought that bribing me with a new wardrobe of "fashionable" clothing would be the way to go to get me to lose weight. When that didn't happen, she resorted to constant digs at me that I was being selfish and thoughtless toward her precious son by being fat. My god, if only that woman had opened her eyes.


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## PeanutButterfly (Mar 12, 2011)

The closedmindedness and insensitivity of family members and supposed "loved ones" always manages to shock me. I'm so sorry that many of you had to experience that. It actually makes me mad 

While I was never bribed with exact things or money, I did get the "I'll always love you no matter what but the rest of the world won't" line from my mom quite a bit. It still stings to think about it. Since I've gone off to college she's laid off a bit and even more surprisingly after a 40 pound gain last year. She was more on my case when I was 175 vs. 215, go figure...

Although a few months ago I did get the "concerned" "I just don't want you to be 350 lbs by the time you're 30" speech. I felt like saying "why mom? would you love me any less? would I cease to be your daughter if I was that big? would you be too disgusted to be in the same room with me?" But sadly I'm much better at articulating my feelings after a confrontation not during and just rolled my eyes and told her it wasn't gonna happen. I know these people (well some) mean well, but having your body examined, scrutinized and then judged as so desperately wrong that you have to be bribed to fix it really just makes me want to eat a whole cake and give them the middle finger. But I'm just a spiteful bitch that way hehe.


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## Pitch (May 10, 2011)

I dont know if it's necessarily a 'bribe', but I got offered a modeling gig if I dropped 100lbs. Too plus size to be plus size, I guess. XD My thinking is: even if I got down to 120, I'd have hanging skin so let's not even play this game.

Pretty much the lady was trying to blow smoke up my ass. or something. I don't know.

As for an actual bribe? Does an emotional one count? My mother said (with the waterworks turned on) "Leslie, I just want to see you skinny one time before I die". Implying that she wont die at peace or happy until I'm below a size 10. Or 6. Maybe even a 2. She's freaking 54, in perfect health and still looks 35; death is not _loooooming_ over the horizon just yet.

Talk about psychological terrorism.


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## Diana_Prince245 (May 11, 2011)

My mom offered me a car my first senior year of college if I'd just lose the weight I'd gained in college, which was about 50 pounds. I proceeded to gain 20.

Of course when I did actually lose that 70 pounds (since regained), there was no car in sight. She means well.


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## bodaciousroxxie (May 18, 2011)

My parents have been trying to bribe me since i was a chunky pre-teen, always with money and promises of a whole new, "normal sized" wardrobe. Their last attempt was a few months ago, offering me $5 per pound lost. It hasn't worked yet.

They've also offered to pay for weight loss surgery, gym memberships, and weight watcher stuff.


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## Dromond (May 18, 2011)

Lamia said:


> I was always bribed by my mother with the promise of a new wardrobe...probably why I've always hated clothes...My grandmother bought me and my mother a number of weight loss items including DEAL A MEAL.



I still have the Deal A Meal kit so thoughtfully provided by my mother. :doh:


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## Pitch (May 18, 2011)

Dromond said:


> I still have the Deal A Meal kit so thoughtfully provided by my mother. :doh:



How ironic. Though I have posted in this thread before, I've just had a marine promise to marry me if I drop 75lbs.
Granted it's because I am poor, haven't eaten in a few days and he wanted to offer the health insurance and blahblah. But. I like that I'm not worth his fucked up offer unless I am suitable arm candy.

_This nigga's crazy._


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## Dromond (May 18, 2011)

Pitch said:


> How ironic. Though I have posted in this thread before, I've just had a marine promise to marry me if I drop 75lbs.
> Granted it's because I am poor, haven't eaten in a few days and he wanted to offer the health insurance and blahblah. But. I like that I'm not worth his fucked up offer unless I am suitable arm candy.
> 
> _This nigga's crazy._



Tell the Marine to go invade something, because your beachhead is not his drop zone.

Or something to that effect.


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## Pitch (Jun 29, 2011)

Dromond said:


> Tell the Marine to go invade something, because your beachhead is not his drop zone.
> 
> Or something to that effect.




Hah, I wish I'd said exactly that. What I *did* say was contained in a long string of venomous insults and expletives. Not classy, but eh.


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## Dromond (Jun 29, 2011)

He didn't deserve a classy reply, so no worries there.


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## Puddles (Jun 29, 2011)

Dromond said:


> I still have the Deal A Meal kit so thoughtfully provided by my mother. :doh:



Why? Talk about baggage...I just thought that was metaphorically speaking...but you have ACTUAL have to pack it and move it baggage!

Throw that shit in the trash! :doh:


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## Puddles (Jun 29, 2011)

When I was 14 or 15, my mother so politely told me that if I EVER wanted to find a husband and get married I'd have to lose weight! 

Pffffttttt I met a guy about a year later and we were married for 10 yrs, before he divorced me because I couldn't have children (LONG STORY!)

My mother also told my first boyfriend that he might as well forget it, because I was going to marry a preacher! (she was very religious!) WRONG again Mommy Dearest...I went straight away and married OF ALL THINGS....(a sin in her mind) a CATHOLIC!!!! :blink::shocked:

That I think is the only time I've ever been "bribed" but things had been said by my ex mother in law, that could have been considered a bribe, although she never really came out and said it in so many words.


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## Steph78 (Jun 29, 2011)

My mother once tried to bribe me with an all expense paid trip to Disney World...as long as I could fit into one airline seat. This probably would have worked had I been 10 and not a grown woman who can save for and plan her own vacations, thank you very much. 

And of course she presents her offer as she is puffing on a cigarette, which her doctor has told her to quit due to her mounting health issues related to her 30+ yr. smoking habit. My health issues: zero. I kindly pointed this out to her. Plus 1 to the fat girl!


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## Pitch (Jun 30, 2011)

Steph78 said:


> My mother once tried to bribe me with an all expense paid trip to Disney World...as long as I could fit into one airline seat. This probably would have worked had I been 10 and not a grown woman who can save for and plan her own vacations, thank you very much.
> 
> And of course she presents her offer as she is puffing on a cigarette, which her doctor has told her to quit due to her mounting health issues related to her 30+ yr. smoking habit. My health issues: zero. I kindly pointed this out to her. Plus 1 to the fat girl!



Win. Such win.


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## LovelyLiz (Jun 30, 2011)

Steph78 said:


> My mother once tried to bribe me with an all expense paid trip to Disney World...as long as I could fit into one airline seat. This probably would have worked had I been 10 and not a grown woman who can save for and plan her own vacations, thank you very much.
> 
> And of course she presents her offer as she is puffing on a cigarette, which her doctor has told her to quit due to her mounting health issues related to her 30+ yr. smoking habit. My health issues: zero. I kindly pointed this out to her. Plus 1 to the fat girl!



Props for not letting your mom body-shame you. The thing is, though, what if there comes a time where you do have health issues? I'm not sure that trading one type of shaming for another (body-shaming for health-shaming) is really the answer.


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