# Confidence issues



## Person67890 (Sep 22, 2014)

Hey,
I've recently been having issues with my confidence levels on a daily basis, since my family wants me to be thin and my friends aren't that supportive. I personally love living large, I'm about 220 pounds but I look fatter than that and I love it, and My goal is to end up around 300, but sometimes I just try and hide my size in public because of self-esteem. Does anyone have a particular way that they keep their confidence up, or is it just something you either have or don't have?

Please message me if you want to talk, always looking for emotional support.


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## loopytheone (Sep 24, 2014)

Hey there.

I obviously can't talk for anybody else but for me confidence something that comes out of loving and accepting yourself. That is the hardest part for most people. It is a decision you have to make every day, to tell yourself that you are awesome and wonderful just the way you are and don't have to gain or lose weight to be so. 

As far as I am concerned, anybody can have confidence in themselves rather than it being something you are born with. Sure, some people are naturally more timid and shy than others but anybody can be confident, you just have to keep working on it. 

Remember, nobody else has any right to tell you what to do with your body.


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## Amaranthine (Sep 24, 2014)

I usually stay away from posting on this board...but confidence seems like an issue that can span all sorts of areas, so I hope it's alright that I don't have personal experience with this particular instantiation. 

For one, I think you deserve to feel happy that you've found something that you _genuinely enjoy._ It's fantastic that you've realized that you enjoy your body a specific way instead of going along with the general trends of what society prefers. 

In my experience, it can be harder to be confident about something merely because it's so significant to you personally; the fact that you like it _so much_ can make other people's tendency to express disapproval feel especially shitty. It can also be annoying to know that people may form preconceptions about you when they have no idea who you are as a person or what's going on underneath. But other people's inability to understand/empathize doesn't invalidate how you feel and certainly shouldn't make you act any differently. That's their problem, not yours. 

Your family/friends may be primarily concerned with your health...which could potentially be assuaged by some honesty and reassurance. But anyone who doesn't think that you have the right to control your own person as you please isn't open-minded or understanding enough for their opinion to be relevant or worthwhile. 

Not that it's anywhere near as easy as it could be made to sound on paper, but I'd recommend you just take some time to really explore/indulge everything you enjoy about being bigger. Just like Loopy said...love and respect yourself, and with varying levels of transparency about your feelings/stance, people will probably start to become more accepting as well if they care.


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## Deacone (Sep 25, 2014)

I lack confidence a lot. I have no desire to be out in public unless it is for work or I am already meeting friends. Wherever I walk I get comments or the "looks"...y'know - the judging looks from people. I've been fat since forever, so my friends know me as fat and they don't care. My mother is always on my back about my weight issues - so that's a constant downer when I go visit my parents. 

I know it sounds a bit extreme but I find that having tattoos and piercings is a bit of a confidence booster. That works quite well for me.


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