# You only date fat chicks because you can't do no better



## shy guy (Jul 8, 2006)

Ok guys how many times have you heard that one before(or something like it)I have ben told that for more then a few years now so how do you be with it? I just let it roll off my back and why is it so hard for people understand some guys like them small and some guys like them BIG!!!...later


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## NFA (Jul 8, 2006)

Actually, I _do_ date fat chicks because I can do no better. I just mean that in a very different way.


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## chocolate desire (Jul 8, 2006)

Your absolutly right because there is Nothing better than a lady of size.. Except a lady of size with a sweet caring handsome man beside her.:wubu:


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## BeaBea (Jul 8, 2006)

I once had a woman say to me 'I think your boyfriend is great - he dates you because you have such a great personality and doesn't care about how you look' 

My boyfriend overheard and replied 'Are you kidding? I date her *inspite* of her personality - it's all about her ass'

He and I then fell about laughing but the woman who originally asked didn't understand. Poor her 

Tracey xx


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## biackrlng (Jul 8, 2006)

Hummm Tracey,
I must be slipping.. CAn you turn around and let me take a peek too :smitten: :wubu:


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## mikec (Jul 8, 2006)

I love my wife(5.0 & 250lbs) and I think that she is the most beautiful person in the world.
I been with her since I was 16 and now we are both 30.


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## EbonySSBBW (Jul 8, 2006)

Well, along those same lines...I had someone tell me that I would eventually find a guy but that I would have to settle for less because of my size. 

I refused to settle and I found a very intelligent, educated, attractive, kind, successful, ambitious, man who loves every inch of my 440lb body. Every time we go somewhere, he always feels that he has the crispiest chick in the place.


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## rainyday (Jul 8, 2006)

BeaBea said:


> My boyfriend overheard and replied 'Are you kidding? I date her *inspite* of her personality - it's all about her ass'


I love that! What a great moment that must have been.


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## swordchick (Jul 8, 2006)

*I wonder if the people who say this kind of crap have a fat mother, aunt, grandmother, etc. And do they ever question why their father, uncle, grandfather, etc. would want them? I know, men who date fat women get a lot of grief from friends, family and even strangers. It takes a lot of self-confidence to deal with it. *


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## Jon Blaze (Jul 8, 2006)

BeaBea said:


> I once had a woman say to me 'I think your boyfriend is great - he dates you because you have such a great personality and doesn't care about how you look'
> 
> My boyfriend overheard and replied 'Are you kidding? I date her *inspite* of her personality - it's all about her ass'
> 
> ...



That annoys me. People in society usually assume that because you like fat chicks, that you don't look at potential dates for their looks, but rather personality. They don't realize that we find beauty in the personality and outward appearance of large women. It's like automatically something they don't consider thinking about.


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## truth38 (Jul 8, 2006)

I totally agree with everyone's thoughts.
It is amazing that in this day and age people still say things like that. A woman who I use to know would even say the same thing about the guys that dated her. She was about 5'9, 325, bright complexion, and beautiful big eyes. Her favorite things to say to her then boyfriend was "I am so glad you love me, despite of how I look, I guess I should be grateful". Never understood why she would say that but I guess she was just following something someone may have said to her at the time.:doh:


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## 1300 Class (Jul 8, 2006)

> I once had a woman say to me 'I think your boyfriend is great - he dates you because you have such a great personality and doesn't care about how you look'


Talk about putting one's foot right into it. Ouch.


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## Jay West Coast (Jul 8, 2006)

BeaBea said:


> I once had a woman say to me 'I think your boyfriend is great - he dates you because you have such a great personality and doesn't care about how you look'
> 
> My boyfriend overheard and replied 'Are you kidding? I date her *inspite* of her personality - it's all about her ass'



Cracked me up! Hahahaha!

Yeah, I've definately got the "don't you think you can do any better" type comments before. I sure can't let it bother me, because I'd never be happy if I were dating the kind of girl they're attracted to. Besides, I can tell you from experience, courting the cream-of-the-crop of BBW's can take just as much "game" as courting the cream-of-the-crop of skinny girls! 

Jay


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Jul 8, 2006)

You know....I have issues. LOL. My boyfriend LOVES my body and yet I still find myself asking, "Are you sure you won't be embarrased when your [friends, co-workers, family etc] meet me?" And he answers as if Im from mars, lol. Of course he doesn't care, he's proud to have this big bellied woman....but from my many years of life experience without knowing a Fat Admirer....I am tarnished and think everyone is embarrased to be see with me. Weird, I know, because Im usually fairly confident. Just thought I would share that sometimes it is a unique experience to be with a guy who actually wants to show off my big body.

sorry if this is irrelivant, lol, I tend to ramble non sense.


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## shy guy (Jul 9, 2006)

BigBellySSBBW said:


> You know....I have issues. LOL. My boyfriend LOVES my body and yet I still find myself asking, "Are you sure you won't be embarrased when your [friends, co-workers, family etc] meet me?" And he answers as if Im from mars, lol. Of course he doesn't care, he's proud to have this big bellied woman....but from my many years of life experience without knowing a Fat Admirer....I am tarnished and think everyone is embarrased to be see with me. Weird, I know, because Im usually fairly confident. Just thought I would share that sometimes it is a unique experience to be with a guy who actually wants to show off my big body.
> 
> sorry if this is irrelivant, lol, I tend to ramble non sense.


NO!!! this is not irrelivant at all by the you got a very good BF...later


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## FreeThinker (Jul 9, 2006)

BeaBea said:


> I once had a woman say to me 'I think your boyfriend is great - he dates you because you have such a great personality and doesn't care about how you look'
> 
> My boyfriend overheard and replied 'Are you kidding? I date her *inspite* of her personality - it's all about her ass'
> 
> ...


Cracked me up, BeaBea.

Although some of us like your personality, too!






NFA said:


> Actually, I _do_ date fat chicks because I can do no better. I just mean that in a very different way.



Exactly.

How could one _possibly_ do better?  




.


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## Santaclear (Jul 9, 2006)

Yep! 


(I have nothing to add.)


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## shy guy (Jul 9, 2006)

You know I got a story to share...last 4th of July I was hanging out with my Ex at the race track and as we were waiting for the fireworks to start and my Ex turns to me and says ''would you want to be with her insted of me?'' and OMG!!!! she points at the most ugly skinny thing I have ever seen in my life(Creep Keeper..nuff said)so I scearm and say ''OH HELL NO!!! your sexy she's...uahhh!!!'' and she laughs and I go into a big long spill about how sexy I think she is...later(P.s. I got lucky that night to)


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## FreeThinker (Jul 9, 2006)

I don't think 'luck' had anything to do with it...


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## shy guy (Jul 9, 2006)

FreeThinker said:


> I don't think 'luck' had anything to do with it...


What do you mean dude? I have you seen what I look likelol...later


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## Cyndiana (Jul 9, 2006)

I feel like I'm butting in. Sorry I couldn't find a board to introduce myself. This is my first post here. ^^

This issue has been weighing on my mind a great deal, lately.

I have been single for three years, and a great deal of it has to do with my fear that once I finally meet a new man and start a relationship, all will be well and then suddenly he meets someone thinner and leaves me behind.

As you can tell, where I am there is no BBW/BHM support of any kind, so I came here.

How could a gal like me find good, honest men who dig big women, not solely as a fetish (hopefully), or a passing fancy?


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## shy guy (Jul 9, 2006)

Cyndiana said:


> I feel like I'm butting in. Sorry I couldn't find a board to introduce myself. This is my first post here. ^^
> 
> This issue has been weighing on my mind a great deal, lately.
> 
> ...


Well frist off welcome to the boards now if a guy dumps for ''skinny girl'' then guess what he's not an FA and not worth your time...later


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## Santaclear (Jul 9, 2006)

Cyndiana said:


> I feel like I'm butting in. Sorry I couldn't find a board to introduce myself. This is my first post here. ^^
> This issue has been weighing on my mind a great deal, lately.
> I have been single for three years, and a great deal of it has to do with my fear that once I finally meet a new man and start a relationship, all will be well and then suddenly he meets someone thinner and leaves me behind.
> As you can tell, where I am there is no BBW/BHM support of any kind, so I came here.
> How could a gal like me find good, honest men who dig big women, not solely as a fetish (hopefully), or a passing fancy?



What you're talking about (getting dumped for someone skinnier) is just standard insecurity (on your part.) Relationships are ALWAYS in flux, even long term ones. Anyone could get dumped for anyone, fat, skinny, handsomer, prettier, richer, whatever.

My last girlfriend was merely plump, not fat, generally considered herself a BBW tho she's smaller than most here. Once she knew my preferences (just a few days into the relationship) she was always agonizing and stressing she'd be dumped for someone fatter and that got old immediately. She needed to be constantly assured we were together for the long term and that put a lot of stress on the relationship (which lasted four years and I didn't end up dumping her for anyone.) There's always something we can stress about. Sure, you COULD be dumped for someone skinnier but that doesn't mean you will.

If someone is with you, odds are they LIKE big women. Enjoy it. Not all relationships are meant to last forever but some are. I hope you can get past that and btw welcome to the boards, Cyndiana!


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## FreeThinker (Jul 9, 2006)

Welcome to Dimensions, *Cyndiana*.



Cyndiana said:


> How could a gal like me find good, honest men who dig big women, not solely as a fetish (hopefully), or a passing fancy?



Well, to start, what is a girl 'like you'? I don't ask to be facetious, but to narrow the parameters.

For instance, I would be hesitant to advise an atheist to meet men at church.

My point is: Beyond good and honest, what type of man are you trying to meet?

Go to a place that has a lot of single men. Odds are, several of them will find you attractive. We're not as rare as you think.

Naturally, if you're in search of a relationship, you'd want to find someone with interests similar to yours. Like music? Go to a festival (they're more conducive to meeting people than are concerts). Like sports? Go to a game. Even just a small-town thing (not little league stuff, as most men there would likely be parents of players). Like cars? Go to a car show (easier to meet people there than at a noisy race track).

I wish I could be of more help, but that's all that comes to mind right now.

Remember, however: You need to be where people are in order to meet them.



Best of luck.



.


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## GeorgeNL (Jul 9, 2006)

BigBellySSBBW said:


> You know....I have issues. LOL. My boyfriend LOVES my body and yet I still find myself asking, "Are you sure you won't be embarrased when your [friends, co-workers, family etc] meet me?"



I can imagine, we still live in a thin minded world. But on the other hand, if we FAs would feel ashamed about being seen with a woman we find attractive, then we actually are also ashamed of the FA part in ourselves. But how could we ever find happiness if we could not be true to our own feelings, if we are afraid to embrace the one we love?
Actually I don't think it really a shame, but more fear to differ from the group, to stand out. But to be honest, all my friends know about my preference, and I never hearth any negative comments.


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## GeorgeNL (Jul 9, 2006)

Cyndiana said:


> I feel like I'm butting in. Sorry I couldn't find a board to introduce myself. This is my first post here. ^^
> 
> This issue has been weighing on my mind a great deal, lately.
> 
> I have been single for three years, and a great deal of it has to do with my fear that once I finally meet a new man and start a relationship, all will be well and then suddenly he meets someone thinner and leaves me behind.



Welcome this community Cyndiana.

I don't know all the answers to your questions, but I think most important is that you accept and embrace yourself. Looking at your little photo, you seem to me an attractive young woman (little ghotic?). Just look around here, and see that BBW can be breath thaking beautiful to. Or look in mirror, see your own eyes, touch the soft silky curves of your body, feel and see how beautiful you actually are. 

FAs are just normal men, not really different from other non-FAs. We prefer soft curvy women, but that's just a different taste, just like some people like classical music in stead of rock. It's not a fetish. Sure there are FAs that only think with there little head, but I think if you follow your own intuition you recognize soon enough if someone is interested in you, or only in your body.

Enjoy you time here,

George


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## Moonchild (Jul 10, 2006)

Santaclear said:


> If someone is with you, odds are they LIKE big women.


Hmm... I'm not so sure about this statement. Now, I know this is totally different, but I would of course date a thin girl if I was attracted to her in non-physical ways.

I've always believed (as I've said here before) that if you establish a mental and emotional attraction, the physical will follow. I feel like a bastard for saying so in such a blunt way, but I've fallen hard for some pretty unattractive girls in my day, and during those times they were the most beautiful things on the planet.

I have a lot of issues with the dating scene. I don't believe in intimacy without commitment, which is EXACTLY what the dating scene seems to be about from what I've observed. Due to said issues, people don't seem to give the mental and emotional attractions a chance. But I think the best way to establish a long-lasting relationship is to be friends first. 

Point? Damn. I had one. I'm watching The Colbert Report so I was distracted and kind of lost track of where I was going with this.

I think what my point was going to be is that it really, really bothers me that what I consider to be a basic requirement of humanity, that being a high regard for personality, is such a rarity that it is considered impressive. It shouldn't be impressive, it should be the bare minimum.


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## DangerousCurves (Jul 11, 2006)

*sigh* Why can't any of you guys live in Iowa??? 

I live in a college town and find it incredibly frustrating trying to meet men... In high school (where most of the guys were jerks) I would think about college and imagine all of the wonderful intellectuals that would appreciate me. Now that I'm in college (where most of the guys are jerks), I think about when I'm working in Des Moines and all of the great men I'll meet that will appreciate me! Am I kidding myself? Is this going to be a vicious cycle? Where are all the good men?!


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## Santaclear (Jul 11, 2006)

Moonchild said:


> Hmm... I'm not so sure about this statement. Now, I know this is totally different, but I would of course date a thin girl if I was attracted to her in non-physical ways.
> I've always believed (as I've said here before) that if you establish a mental and emotional attraction, the physical will follow. I feel like a bastard for saying so in such a blunt way, but I've fallen hard for some pretty unattractive girls in my day, and during those times they were the most beautiful things on the planet.
> I have a lot of issues with the dating scene. I don't believe in intimacy without commitment, which is EXACTLY what the dating scene seems to be about from what I've observed. Due to said issues, people don't seem to give the mental and emotional attractions a chance. But I think the best way to establish a long-lasting relationship is to be friends first.
> Point? Damn. I had one. I'm watching The Colbert Report so I was distracted and kind of lost track of where I was going with this.
> I think what my point was going to be is that it really, really bothers me that what I consider to be a basic requirement of humanity, that being a high regard for personality, is such a rarity that it is considered impressive. It shouldn't be impressive, it should be the bare minimum.



I agree with you, especially about personality. But "falling for someone" usually entails the whole package, not just looks, not just personality. I was saying that if a guy likes her enough to be with her, there's at least a good probablity he doesn't have an aversion to fat chicks.


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## Edens_heel (Jul 11, 2006)

DangerousCurves said:


> *sigh* Why can't any of you guys live in Iowa???
> 
> I live in a college town and find it incredibly frustrating trying to meet men... In high school (where most of the guys were jerks) I would think about college and imagine all of the wonderful intellectuals that would appreciate me. Now that I'm in college (where most of the guys are jerks), I think about when I'm working in Des Moines and all of the great men I'll meet that will appreciate me! Am I kidding myself? Is this going to be a vicious cycle? Where are all the good men?!


Well, if I'm any indication, we're all north of the border... I've been finding that BC is so laid back that once you leave high school and all that crap behind, no one gives two sh*ts about who you're attracted to or what you love. Don't lose hope, not all men are asses, we're just sadly few and far between.

-Andrew


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## Rainahblue (Jul 11, 2006)

chocolate desire said:


> Your absolutly right because there is Nothing better than a lady of size.. Except a lady of size with a sweet caring handsome man beside her.:wubu:



Yup. What she said.
Welcome *Cyndiana*!
 ​


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## SensualSSBBWCurves (Jul 11, 2006)

Not the fact that, you can't do any better than fat chicks it's because it doesn't get any better than fat chicks. Serriously all those yummy curves how could you resist?​


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## RedVelvet (Jul 11, 2006)

What she said, only smaller.

And not pink.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Jul 11, 2006)

RedVelvet said:


> What she said, only smaller.
> 
> And not pink.




lolololololololol


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## Edens_heel (Jul 11, 2006)

RedVelvet said:


> What she said, only smaller.
> 
> And not pink.



Couldn't have said it better!


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## SensualSSBBWCurves (Jul 11, 2006)

RedVelvet said:


> What she said, only smaller.
> 
> And not pink.




I didn't mean to offend anyone with my font size and color


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## RedVelvet (Jul 11, 2006)

SensualSSBBWCurves said:


> I didn't mean to offend anyone with my font size and color




Aw damn,.....I am sorry if that hurt. It was meant as good natured, I promise.

That giant SENSUAL and other wording is just a wee bit distracting....considered bad form on boards.....along with too many smilies, typing in all caps, that kind of thing.

I mean it with a kind heart, I promise you.

Yes, I suck, I know.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Jul 11, 2006)

SensualSSBBWCurves said:


> I didn't mean to offend anyone with my font size and color




oh honey...I totally wasnt offended at all. I love pink...it was just the way she said....yeah, what she said....but not really....it was just funny! Not laughing at you honest!

And you should never appologise for you size and colour anyhow...even if it is fonts we are speaking of.


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## RedVelvet (Jul 11, 2006)

BigBellySSBBW said:


> oh honey...I totally wasnt offended at all. I love pink...it was just the way she said....yeah, what she said....but not really....it was just funny! Not laughing at you honest!
> 
> And you should never appologise for you size and colour anyhow...even if it is fonts we are speaking of.





Exactly....it was just meant to be a funny play on words, more than anything else....It's true that it's distracting, but I wasn't even thinking of that at first when I typed it....just being a smartass was my initial goal.

oooh...I feel so guilty now.....

Spankies for everyone.

Me first.


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## Fuzzy (Jul 11, 2006)

People tend to say things before checking with their brain or their concious first. Jiminy Cricket would slap most people silly for not thinking about their comment first.

When my son died, I got all sorts of comments. Most of them trying to express sympathy. I tried just nodding and letting the comments go early on, but it got to the point that I'd respond with "You didn't mean to say that. Try again."


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## CuteyChubb (Jul 12, 2006)

Hey, This is my first time writing anything on a forum. Just wanted you to know I am struggling with acceptance right now. I was married in April for the first time. For years I have wondered where to meet Mr. Right. Now I think it wasn't really where I met him (at a nightclub) but how I felt that night. I felt pretty and confidant. Two things I don't normally feel. Then there he was, asking me to dance. That was April of '05. A year later we're happily married. Stand up straight, throw your shoulders back, hold your head high and smile. It's amazing what that and some confidence can do. Hang in there!


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## saucywench (Jul 12, 2006)

Jon Blaze said:


> That annoys me. People in society usually assume that because you like fat chicks, that you don't look at potential dates for their looks, but rather personality. They don't realize that we find beauty in the personality and outward appearance of large women. It's like automatically something they don't consider thinking about.


That's because "people in society" are

(a) ignorant
(b) narrow-minded
(c) self-absorbed
(d) idiots
(e) assholes
(f) all of the above 

My vote is on F.


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## Turin (Jul 12, 2006)

Ya know, I am prolly in the minority here, but I have never had anyone tell me I date(d), desire big girls either because I couldn't do any better or in spite of their physical appearance. I, also, have never been quiet about my predilections in terms of aesthetical beauty. 

I wonder how much of it comes from the ability to be vocal in your preferences from the start and not so much about "letting it slip" in terms of not really saying anythign about your preferences or "going along with the guys" when talking about physical appearance. 

F'rinstance, my buddies and I would see a stacked skinny blonde in a bar and the usual macho male-bonding type conversation begins. Invariably my response is, "Yeah, she is a good looking girl, but she really looks hungry." or "She would be much hotter with some curves."

Does the ability to let your preferences be public and be a dissenting opinion in the face of mainstream objectification, sort of, head the equivocation and rationalization of your preferences off at the pass?


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## GoddessNoir (Jul 12, 2006)

Wow, I am new to this whole thing. I have been fat all of my life, but, I was never ridiculed for being fat and never felt anything was wrong with me. Loving myself was not something I "learned" it has always been the case. I don't know if this sounds conceited but, I know who I am, I am very aware of myself. I am beautiful, I am smart, I am caring, kind, compassionate and all sorts of other wonderful things. I've dated men who I guess initially thought I may have been what they felt was a fat girl who was happy to get a man, but after knowing me, they soon realize, that is not me AT ALL. Because I am the woman I am, I seek the same attributes in a partner. Truthfully, when I've met friends, family, etc. of the men I've dated, they have been impressed by me because I am intelligent, well spoken, lady like, confident, I carry myself in a certain way because I am self aware, much more so than any other woman they have dated fat, thin or anywhere in between. When it comes to being a person of intelligence, of grace, of a certain caliber, your size goes to the way side.


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## dianahottie (Jul 12, 2006)

*I just had a women email me on myspace saying 

Subject= FATSO

YOUR FAT HAHA 

i think you should know that soicety has a view and you don't fit it thats all 
not rude realilistic ..


I can't belive how many people still belive like this!!!! Its very sad!!! :doh: I am proud to be me trying not to let people like this get to me, HEY I AM HUNGEY HOW ABOUT A PIZZA??? LOL :eat1: BTW I think we are all beautiful!!

HUGS
DIANA *


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## Leonard (Jul 12, 2006)

Turin said:


> Ya know, I am prolly in the minority here, but I have never had anyone tell me I date(d), desire big girls either because I couldn't do any better or in spite of their physical appearance. I, also, have never been quiet about my predilections in terms of aesthetical beauty.
> 
> I wonder how much of it comes from the ability to be vocal in your preferences from the start and not so much about "letting it slip" in terms of not really saying anythign about your preferences or "going along with the guys" when talking about physical appearance.
> 
> ...




My attitude and experiences have been much the same.

The added bonus to being able to appreciate the beauty of a big, curvaceous woman is that it kind of feels like you're in an exclusive club. It's like the other guys can't appreciate extra curves because they're not members. They don't get it, and they never will.


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## GoddessNoir (Jul 12, 2006)

dianahottie said:


> *I just had a women email me on myspace saying
> 
> Subject= FATSO
> 
> ...



Someone actually sent that to you?! That is unbelievably rude! Imagine the sadness occuring in someone's life where they have nothing better to do than send ridiculous email to people. I'm sorry.

I don't have to tell you this but I'll say it anyway, forget her.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Jul 12, 2006)

GoddessNoir said:


> Someone actually sent that to you?! That is unbelievably rude! Imagine the sadness occuring in someone's life where they have nothing better to do than send ridiculous email to people. I'm sorry.
> 
> I don't have to tell you this but I'll say it anyway, forget her.




It happens all the time on MySpace, lol. It seems to have simmered down for me...but for a while I had a "fan club" of 16 year olds who had nothing better to do than send me messages or comments which were slams disguised as compliments....you know...in a mocking tone.  The key is to realise when I was 16, I had better things to do than mock someone, lol


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## shy guy (Jul 12, 2006)

Leonard LePage said:


> My attitude and experiences have been much the same.
> 
> The added bonus to being able to appreciate the beauty of a big, curvaceous woman is that it kind of feels like you're in an exclusive club. It's like the other guys can't appreciate extra curves because they're not members. They don't get it, and they never will.


Yes it is an exclusive culb(which I'm dam pround to be a part of)but any club can get new members all explain...my freinds have always know I've been an FA and yeah they kid me about it sometimes but no big deal I kid them right back...now I have started to take notice that some of my friends new GF's have started to get a little plumper a little thicker Hell I even found one of them on my comp looking at some of the stuff I got on it and lets just say he was ''HAPPY'' mybe a little to ''HAPPY''(*wink wink*) so all in all I think mybe me being so open about being an FA has had some effect...later


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## dianahottie (Jul 12, 2006)

*Yes its very rude and so stupid.. I was upset at first still get that way lol I try not to let it get to me  


HUGS
DIANA*


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## Mini (Jul 13, 2006)

dianahottie said:


> *I just had a women email me on myspace saying
> 
> Subject= FATSO
> 
> ...



To be fair, your tormentor is probably retarded. I doubt Mongo knew what he was writing.


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## Paul Fannin (Jul 13, 2006)

do ladies like being referred to as chicks, let alone, fat chicks?


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## Tina (Jul 13, 2006)

Some do; some do not. Do women like to be referred to as "ladies"? Some do; some do not.


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## Paul Fannin (Jul 13, 2006)

Tina said:


> Some do; some do not. Do women like to be referred to as "ladies"? Some do; some do not.



I don't like saying chicks. I feel creepy saying it....chicks...

There! I said it again


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## Tina (Jul 13, 2006)

Does it make ya feel like a dirty ol' man, Paul?   

I'm fine with chick, actually. Moreso than lady, because while I do know my manners and can behave myself when I have to  I don't like the expectation that word brings with it -- all white gloves and afternoon tea. Then again, maybe at my advanced age, being called a chick makes me feel younger.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Jul 14, 2006)

Paul Fannin said:


> I don't like saying chicks. I feel creepy saying it....chicks...
> 
> There! I said it again




I worked for Citigroup not too long ago and I got seriously repremanded for saying "some chick" LMAO! And the mananger was MY AGE...and I was like what??? I don't get into trouble for saying dude, lol. It's just my own personal dialect...I talk all crazy, lol.


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## Tracyarts (Jul 14, 2006)

First thing I want to say:

We all need to get into the mindset that people choose to be with us because it is *us* they want. If you remain in a relationship, but are afraid that your partner will leave because somebody thinner, fatter, prettier, younger, richer, smarter, more socially connected, etc... comes along, then it is not a stable relationship to begin with. 

It's either their commitment issue, your self-worth issue, or a combination of both.

We have got to get out of the midset that our partners are doing us a favor by merely being there. People stay together because they want to be together, not because something better hasn't come along yet or they are staying out of obligation alone. And if they do leave for somebody else? Then they either didn't understand what they really wanted or they were just not able to commit or maintain the commitment. It has nothing to do with us measuring up or not. To stay or leave is THEIR choice. 

And of course, fat women get dumped for thin or thinner women all the time. 

But you know what? Fat women get dumped for FATTER women too. And for other fat women who might be shaped differently. Or who might have a different kind of face. Or who might have any number of attributes which a guy feels like he needs to "jump ship" for. And it is absolutely NO different than any other relationship where somebody gets dumped for another person. 

It was not a stable relationship to begin with in the first place.

What I am trying to say, is that entering into a relationship with a person who has a specific and exclusive preference for a fat partner is no guarantee that you will be loved, cherished, respected, and treasured any more or less than if you enter into a relationship with somebody who does not have a specific exclusive preference for a fat partner. 

Don't look for false security in a partner's preferences. If somebody wants to be with you, they will be with you and stay with you. If they choose to leave, then don't dwell on it or beat yourself over why you did not measure up. Just accept that it is their choice and move on and make your own choices. 

Tracy


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## moonvine (Jul 14, 2006)

Cyndiana said:


> I feel like I'm butting in. Sorry I couldn't find a board to introduce myself. This is my first post here. ^^
> 
> This issue has been weighing on my mind a great deal, lately.
> 
> ...



Well, first of all welcome. 

As to answering you question, I have no idea as I have been single for 5 years.

In what part of Texas is your town? I have found that residents of Dallas, Houston and San Antonio have fewer problems with fat chicks than the residents of the rest of the state..in general, anyway.


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## Sweet Tooth (Jul 14, 2006)

DangerousCurves said:


> *sigh* Why can't any of you guys live in Iowa???
> 
> I live in a college town and find it incredibly frustrating trying to meet men... In high school (where most of the guys were jerks) I would think about college and imagine all of the wonderful intellectuals that would appreciate me. Now that I'm in college (where most of the guys are jerks), I think about when I'm working in Des Moines and all of the great men I'll meet that will appreciate me! Am I kidding myself? Is this going to be a vicious cycle? Where are all the good men?!



I didn't meet many guys in college, either. It wasn't until after people got on their own and didn't have as much of a pack mentality that men I met could make decisions without consulting their friends. Then again, I also started meeting older men [just like 7-8 years] that were mature and confident in their preferences.

Just be patient. You will meet men who are worthy of you.


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## Sweet Tooth (Jul 14, 2006)

Paul Fannin said:


> do ladies like being referred to as chicks, let alone, fat chicks?



I don't have a problem with it.


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## moonvine (Jul 14, 2006)

Sweet Tooth said:


> I didn't meet many guys in college, either. It wasn't until after people got on their own and didn't have as much of a pack mentality that men I met could make decisions without consulting their friends. Then again, I also started meeting older men [just like 7-8 years] that were mature and confident in their preferences.
> 
> Just be patient. You will meet men who are worthy of you.



I met more guys in college than I have before or since. Everyone's experiences are so different....


I highly, highly prefer younger men. I think 24 is a great age.


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## Sweet Tooth (Jul 14, 2006)

BigBellySSBBW said:


> You know....I have issues. LOL. My boyfriend LOVES my body and yet I still find myself asking, "Are you sure you won't be embarrased when your [friends, co-workers, family etc] meet me?" And he answers as if Im from mars, lol. Of course he doesn't care, he's proud to have this big bellied woman....but from my many years of life experience without knowing a Fat Admirer....I am tarnished and think everyone is embarrased to be see with me. Weird, I know, because Im usually fairly confident. Just thought I would share that sometimes it is a unique experience to be with a guy who actually wants to show off my big body.
> 
> sorry if this is irrelivant, lol, I tend to ramble non sense.



I read this days ago... finally getting around to responding.

I'm just the opposite most times. My husband and I are away from my family and most of my friends right now, so our social life revolves mostly around his family, friends, and coworkers. He's very conscious of who will accept me and who won't, either based on how people treated his past girlfriends or what they've said to him about me behind my back. Very few people in his life are fat-friendly, let along understanding of his preferences. They make it about that annoying, obnoxious concern for my "health" thing when they never bother to inquire about my actual health.

I'm the one who's more likely to be completely oblivious to their discomfort unless someone comments directly. I just don't think much about it anymore. Yes, I might think about whether seating will hold me or stuff, but rarely about how they'll like me. Huge ego? Perhaps.  After dealing with self-hatred and my lack of socialization, I was fortunate that people came into my life who just completely loved me. Now, I don't assume people will adore me, but I don't assume either that they'll hate me.


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## ripley (Jul 14, 2006)

Sweet Tooth said:


> I read this days ago... finally getting around to responding.
> 
> I'm just the opposite most times. My husband and I are away from my family and most of my friends right now, so our social life revolves mostly around his family, friends, and coworkers. He's very conscious of who will accept me and who won't, either based on how people treated his past girlfriends or what they've said to him about me behind my back. Very few people in his life are fat-friendly, let along understanding of his preferences. They make it about that annoying, obnoxious concern for my "health" thing when they never bother to inquire about my actual health.
> 
> I'm the one who's more likely to be completely oblivious to their discomfort unless someone comments directly. I just don't think much about it anymore. Yes, I might think about whether seating will hold me or stuff, but rarely about how they'll like me. Huge ego? Perhaps.  After dealing with self-hatred and my lack of socialization, I was fortunate that people came into my life who just completely loved me. Now, I don't assume people will adore me, but I don't assume either that they'll hate me.




I think part of it is for some of us is that we have all this going on in our minds...will we fit, will we break a chair, will we somehow otherwise be embarrassed...that it is easy to add in worrying about your date's embarrassment and discomfort.


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## Sweet Tooth (Jul 14, 2006)

ripley said:


> I think part of it is for some of us is that we have all this going on in our minds...will we fit, will we break a chair, will we somehow otherwise be embarrassed...that it is easy to add in worrying about your date's embarrassment and discomfort.



Now if only other people would start thinking about it. [Aside from fat people and their partners, of course.]

When Tef and I were in Seattle, we popped into this tea shop that had free samples. And tiny little chairs. They kept trying to get me to sit down. I said, "No, I think your chairs look a little fragile for someone like me." They seemed to back off at first, but then the manager came over and kept trying to get me to sit, seeming put off when I kept declining. I don't know if it was a cultural offense or he was hoping I'd buy more if I sat and relaxed or what. He just didn't get that I was NOT about to risk that dinky little chair. I had sore feet. Didn't need a sore a$$, too.

On the flip side, who else has had a person realize you might be too big for their flimsy furniture and make snide comments?


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## ripley (Jul 14, 2006)

Sweet Tooth said:


> On the flip side, who else has had a person realize you might be too big for their flimsy furniture and make snide comments?




Hell, people that piss me off, I like the look of horror on their face as I approach the wicker.


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## BeautifulPoeticDisaster (Jul 14, 2006)

Sweet Tooth said:


> Now if only other people would start thinking about it. [Aside from fat people and their partners, of course.]
> 
> When Tef and I were in Seattle, we popped into this tea shop that had free samples. And tiny little chairs. They kept trying to get me to sit down. I said, "No, I think your chairs look a little fragile for someone like me." They seemed to back off at first, but then the manager came over and kept trying to get me to sit, seeming put off when I kept declining. I don't know if it was a cultural offense or he was hoping I'd buy more if I sat and relaxed or what. He just didn't get that I was NOT about to risk that dinky little chair. I had sore feet. Didn't need a sore a$$, too.
> 
> On the flip side, who else has had a person realize you might be too big for their flimsy furniture and make snide comments?




I woulda asked if he had insurance...and if said yes I would said ok...Ill have a seat, lol


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## GoddessNoir (Jul 14, 2006)

Sweet Tooth said:


> On the flip side, who else has had a person realize you might be too big for their flimsy furniture and make snide comments?




Not really a snide comment but, I was taking grad school classes last summer and they had those desks that are connected to the seat. I fit *okay* in them but, you know, I want to be comfortable if I'm going to be sitting anywhere for hours. Anyway, I went and asked a maintenance guy for a chair with no arms and at first he goes "why Mommy, what's wrong?" I patted my hips and he goes, "oh, ai, ai, ai, one of those". It wasn't really said in a nasty way and he was very nice to me every time I saw him but when he said it, I was kind of like


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## swordchick (Jul 15, 2006)

GoddessNoir said:


> Not really a snide comment but, I was taking grad school classes last summer and they had those desks that are connected to the seat. I fit *okay* in them but, you know, I want to be comfortable if I'm going to be sitting anywhere for hours. Anyway, I went and asked a maintenance guy for a chair with no arms and at first he goes "why Mommy, what's wrong?" I patted my hips and he goes, "oh, ai, ai, ai, one of those". It wasn't really said in a nasty way and he was very nice to me every time I saw him but when he said it, I was kind of like


 
Unfortunately, people are not taught how to deal fat people. They do not get the fact that they are being a bit rude. As fat people, it has become acceptable in society to hate and to ridicule us as a group.


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## Sweet Tooth (Jul 16, 2006)

GoddessNoir said:


> Not really a snide comment but, I was taking grad school classes last summer and they had those desks that are connected to the seat. I fit *okay* in them but, you know, I want to be comfortable if I'm going to be sitting anywhere for hours. Anyway, I went and asked a maintenance guy for a chair with no arms and at first he goes "why Mommy, what's wrong?" I patted my hips and he goes, "oh, ai, ai, ai, one of those". It wasn't really said in a nasty way and he was very nice to me every time I saw him but when he said it, I was kind of like



Just out of curiosity, how do you guys "feel" [I'll explain in a moment] about larger bathroom stalls and armless chairs in otherwise theater style lecture halls?

Personally, I feel a bit proprietary, but I don't feel like I can *say* anything that indicates that. I remember walking into a lecture hall in college, one where the seats were uncomfortable for anyone but gave me bruises on my thighs from the screws, and skinny people were sitting at the table and armless chairs set at the back. Technically, those are there for disabled students and, to reiterate what Ella said in another post, I don't consider myself disabled because I'm fat. But I would appreciate some extra consideration.

As for larger bathroom stalls, I'm feel okay appropriating them if there's no wheelchair user or mom with stroller needing the room. But I know there are still some people who consider them like handicapped parking spaces - to be used only be people who "need" them. It isn't usually that the stalls are too narrow [unless they've taken room from that one to make the handicapped stall - had one that literally was as wide as my hips], but the dispensers are often put in just the wrong spot for a wide girl. LOL


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## fatgirlflyin (Jul 17, 2006)

Sweet Tooth said:


> Just out of curiosity, how do you guys "feel" [I'll explain in a moment] about larger bathroom stalls and armless chairs in otherwise theater style lecture halls?
> 
> Personally, I feel a bit proprietary, but I don't feel like I can *say* anything that indicates that. I remember walking into a lecture hall in college, one where the seats were uncomfortable for anyone but gave me bruises on my thighs from the screws, and skinny people were sitting at the table and armless chairs set at the back. Technically, those are there for disabled students and, to reiterate what Ella said in another post, I don't consider myself disabled because I'm fat. But I would appreciate some extra consideration.
> 
> As for larger bathroom stalls, I'm feel okay appropriating them if there's no wheelchair user or mom with stroller needing the room. But I know there are still some people who consider them like handicapped parking spaces - to be used only be people who "need" them. It isn't usually that the stalls are too narrow [unless they've taken room from that one to make the handicapped stall - had one that literally was as wide as my hips], but the dispensers are often put in just the wrong spot for a wide girl. LOL



I use the large bathroom stalls all the time. I do check to make sure first that there are no moms or people in wheelchairs around that might need it. 

I tend to not take the armless chairs though because I fit fine in most chairs without arms and I'd hate to be the reason that one of my fellow fatties ended up with bruises up and down his/her thighs


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## RedVelvet (Jul 17, 2006)

Fuzzy said:


> People tend to say things before checking with their brain or their concious first. Jiminy Cricket would slap most people silly for not thinking about their comment first.




ok...I dont feel _THAT_ bad....but good point.


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## elle camino (Jul 17, 2006)

GoddessNoir said:


> those desks that are connected to the seat.


those desks are the bane of my existance. 
well, no. to clarify: they seem to make them in two varieties. one of which (the kind with the smaller desks that are set on a hinge) i fit into just fine, with even a little wiggle room and room to turn around or slouch backwards. the OTHER kind (the ones with larger desks which don't lift up), i don't know what country they were made in (or for), but holy crap they are so tiny. like last quarter i sat next to a girl who was a size 10 at the most, who couldn't fit her hips into one of them. so annoying.


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## MisticalMisty (Jul 17, 2006)

I ran into desk problems all the time..I would turn a desk around..grab either an extra chair in the room..or the teachers chair and sit.

When I went to take my certification tests for special ed last year, they had 50 of us in a little room with desks and I flat out told the lady.."I'm not going to fit into those desks, you're going to have to move me." There happened to be a man in the room and he went and cleared off a table and I sat, at the front of the room..with me facing everyone and everyone facing me and I took my test.

I have no qualms about asking people to switch me seats. Maybe they are scared of me or something..LMFAO


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## Jamgrrrl (Jul 17, 2006)

EbonySSBBW said:


> I refused to settle and I found a very intelligent, educated, attractive, kind, successful, ambitious, man who loves every inch of my 440lb body. Every time we go somewhere, he always feels that he has the crispiest chick in the place.




I agree! We should never settle. Heck, I wonder why some of these intelligent, witty, educated, attractive big babes are with the scrubs they are with. You know, the type of fellow that doesn't appreciate them or have any idea of her true worth? 

Finding someone that you enjoy, that enjoys you in this little bit of time we have on the planet is not an easy thing. So, when you are fortunate enough to have it or have a glimpse at it... go for it... be proud and talk loud!  

Hey, I am not getting any younger here, but I'd rather start collecting small pets for company than put a man in my life that isn't pleased as punch to be there!

Please gang... REFUSE to be with any man that isn't proud to be with you everywhere!


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## RedVelvet (Jul 17, 2006)

EbonySSBBW said:


> Every time we go somewhere, he always feels that he has the crispiest chick in the place.




Can I just say I am digging the "Crispiest" thing?

SO cute.

Me gonna steal that, tanks.


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## Eclectic_Girl (Jul 17, 2006)

Sweet Tooth said:


> Just out of curiosity, how do you guys "feel" [I'll explain in a moment] about larger bathroom stalls and armless chairs in otherwise theater style lecture halls?
> 
> Personally, I feel a bit proprietary, but I don't feel like I can *say* anything that indicates that. I remember walking into a lecture hall in college, one where the seats were uncomfortable for anyone but gave me bruises on my thighs from the screws, and skinny people were sitting at the table and armless chairs set at the back. Technically, those are there for disabled students and, to reiterate what Ella said in another post, I don't consider myself disabled because I'm fat. But I would appreciate some extra consideration.
> 
> As for larger bathroom stalls, I'm feel okay appropriating them if there's no wheelchair user or mom with stroller needing the room. But I know there are still some people who consider them like handicapped parking spaces - to be used only be people who "need" them. It isn't usually that the stalls are too narrow [unless they've taken room from that one to make the handicapped stall - had one that literally was as wide as my hips], but the dispensers are often put in just the wrong spot for a wide girl. LOL



I definitely feel proprietary about the big stalls. Unless the other stalls are extrordinarily big, I'm wide enough to *need* the hip room. I will wait to use it if someone else is in it. I have never been in a restroom with only one big stall (airports, etc., usually have at least two) at the same time as someone in a wheelchair or a mom with a stroller, but I'm not sure I'd give up my place in line to them if I did. I suppose it would depend upon the situation (if the child were wailing and the child's diaper was leaking everywhere, I'd stand aside - and maybe try to find another bathroom). But, as far as I'm concerned, the big stalls are there for me, so I have no qualms about using them. If there's a long line for *any* stall, I'll let people behind me go ahead until the big one is available. And, if the big stall opens up with one person in front of me and I *really* have to go, I'll ask her to go ahead. I have never had anyone refuse - look a little confused for a second, yes, but not refuse.

Same thing with the armless chairs in a lecture hall - if there are people sitting in the only chairs I fit in, I will politely explain that I need to be in one of those seats. Again, no one yet has told me to piss off. It may be because it is readily apparent that I won't fit, but I think that it also has something to do with the fact that I'm not coming across as ashamed or humiliated. It's just what I need to be able to take care of myself.


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## Kate (Jul 17, 2006)

DangerousCurves said:


> *sigh* Why can't any of you guys live in Iowa???
> 
> I live in a college town and find it incredibly frustrating trying to meet men... In high school (where most of the guys were jerks) I would think about college and imagine all of the wonderful intellectuals that would appreciate me. Now that I'm in college (where most of the guys are jerks), I think about when I'm working in Des Moines and all of the great men I'll meet that will appreciate me! Am I kidding myself? Is this going to be a vicious cycle? Where are all the good men?!




gosh...couldn't agree with you more, DangerousCurves. Make that for Colorado, too!


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## olivefun (Jul 18, 2006)

GoddessNoir said:


> Someone actually sent that to you?! That is unbelievably rude! Imagine the sadness occuring in someone's life where they have nothing better to do than send ridiculous email to people. I'm sorry.
> 
> I don't have to tell you this but I'll say it anyway, forget her.



You know, that is exactly what I was thinking.
can you imagine what a level of sadness this person must live in?

I feel sorry for people like this.


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## Tina (Jul 18, 2006)

Sweet Tooth said:


> I don't have a problem with it.



Well, of course you don't!! Look at your avatar!!!


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## tnekkralc1956 (Jul 18, 2006)

Those of us that dare to appreciate, or Heaven forbid LOVE fat (women), have all heard this before and will most certainly hear it 'til you know when. The truth (reality) always falls somewhere in the middle and I don't mean in the abdomen. There is always going to be an Yin to the Yang (pronounced 'Een' and 'Yong' you goofy-lookin'-over-my-shoulder hillbillies) as long as there are people that breath. Someone out there actually thinks that Ann Coulter (example given) is the cat's meow while many here would turn up their noses in disgust. Stepping on anyone's toes yet? I'm just getting started. Control freaks insist that her body type is the ideal. Control freaks do lots of crazy things like start cults, wars, religions, fashion. Personal taste is like opinions. Opinions, I have read, are like our most southern orifice. Everyone has one and they all stink...stink when they become the Gospel truth. Now we are talking fascism and fascism is on the rise, be it political or figurative (OK, I can't resist a pun). Egos are becoming bigger than waistlines and selfrighteousness, my children, is the path with the least resistance to destruction. After many years of prayer and fasting (jab) I can appreciate the Paris Hilton's AND the Roseanne (sp?) Barr's of the world. Being exclusive only sets one up for failure---guaranteed. While my eyes look to the fuller figured, my soul looks for a mate and I won't recognize her if I have predetermined her appearance! Aye, there's the rub... having eyes we do not see. Satisfaction comes in all sizes and shapes. What's inside will keep me coming home from work. Then so, is there a problem with fat women? Yes. Same problems with the skinny ones, different packaging. One may need you to tie her shoelaces for her, the other one may demand it. I don't require either one. I don't need to serve any woman, but merely desire one that will serve with me. Fat is a feminist -er- feminine issue if you haven't already been inspired. Ayervedic texts speak frankly about how fat is the physical expression of comforting love, yet in the extreme the warning is given against apathy and self satisfaction. Did I mention that the truth falls somewhere in the middle? Now I'm just being snotty, for the pure pleasure of rubbing your noses in the truth (present company accepted), but you can always shoot me if you don't mind Eternal Fire. So then, friend, have you found your soul mate? YES makes you one of the few, the proud, the whatever they-spout-off. If you've just found a push, well, you'll both pay for that... or haven't I made the truth clear? I'll step off now. I'm afraid of heighths and I just noticed how tall this soapbox is.


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## RedVelvet (Jul 18, 2006)

tnekkralc1956 said:


> Those of us that dare to appreciate, or Heaven forbid LOVE fat (women), have all heard this before and will most certainly hear it 'til you know when. The truth (reality) always falls somewhere in the middle and I don't mean in the abdomen. There is always going to be an Yin to the Yang (pronounced 'Een' and 'Yong' you goofy-lookin'-over-my-shoulder hillbillies) as long as there are people that breath. Someone out there actually thinks that Ann Coulter (example given) is the cat's meow while many here would turn up their noses in disgust. Stepping on anyone's toes yet? I'm just getting started. Control freaks insist that her body type is the ideal. Control freaks do lots of crazy things like start cults, wars, religions, fashion. Personal taste is like opinions. Opinions, I have read, are like our most southern orifice. Everyone has one and they all stink...stink when they become the Gospel truth. Now we are talking fascism and fascism is on the rise, be it political or figurative (OK, I can't resist a pun). Egos are becoming bigger than waistlines and selfrighteousness, my children, is the path with the least resistance to destruction. After many years of prayer and fasting (jab) I can appreciate the Paris Hilton's AND the Roseanne (sp?) Barr's of the world. Being exclusive only sets one up for failure---guaranteed. While my eyes look to the fuller figured, my soul looks for a mate and I won't recognize her if I have predetermined her appearance! Aye, there's the rub... having eyes we do not see. Satisfaction comes in all sizes and shapes. What's inside will keep me coming home from work. Then so, is there a problem with fat women? Yes. Same problems with the skinny ones, different packaging. One may need you to tie her shoelaces for her, the other one may demand it. I don't require either one. I don't need to serve any woman, but merely desire one that will serve with me. Fat is a feminist -er- feminine issue if you haven't already been inspired. Ayervedic texts speak frankly about how fat is the physical expression of comforting love, yet in the extreme the warning is given against apathy and self satisfaction. Did I mention that the truth falls somewhere in the middle? Now I'm just being snotty, for the pure pleasure of rubbing your noses in the truth (present company accepted), but you can always shoot me if you don't mind Eternal Fire. So then, friend, have you found your soul mate? YES makes you one of the few, the proud, the whatever they-spout-off. If you've just found a push, well, you'll both pay for that... or haven't I made the truth clear? I'll step off now. I'm afraid of heighths and I just noticed how tall this soapbox is.





You have a nice nose, Mr. Giant Paragraph Guy.


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## JustPlainJim (Jul 18, 2006)

Ya know, I had this kinda conversation with my best friend (of 10+ years)... I told him I was signing up for a BBW/BHM dating site.

Him: "Aww, Jim. You shouldn't have to settle like that."
Me: "... No... I... LIKE big girls."
Him: "... Oh."

and another time... Looking back on it I can kinda laugh. But when he first said it, I was kinda... irked. =P

Him: "Jim, I can't see why you like big girls. Are they just slower and easier to catch or something?"
Me: "..."
Him: "Eh, whatever floats your boat... Usually water."

... which just led to talking about having a boat floating on a lake of alcohol.


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## comngetmeFA (Jul 19, 2006)

RedVelvet said:


> You have a nice nose, Mr. Giant Paragraph Guy.




You're right, he does have a nice nose! The whole pic's nice, like the glasses too


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## Jes (Jul 19, 2006)

JustPlainJim said:


> Ya know, I had this kinda conversation with my best friend (of 10+ years)... I told him I was signing up for a BBW/BHM dating site.
> 
> Him: "Aww, Jim. You shouldn't have to settle like that."
> Me: "... No... I... LIKE big girls."
> ...


I can't believe you didn't take that opportunity to give him the facts, man! About how we're much harder to kidnap? So he was TOTALLY WRONG.
It's also kind of crazy that he's being rude to fat women to a fat man. Not that you necessarily have to find fat women more attractive than any other kind of women, but look at his audience! He was clearly making you an 'honorary thin dude,' I think, which I HATE.


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## LillyBBBW (Jul 19, 2006)

Be careful how you word these things with your friends. Someone would ask me, "Say, what's with you and Junebug? Eeeuw!"

I would just smile wickedly and whisper, "Meow." Then the bitch steals him from me. Next time anyone even casually asks you about the person you are seeing, kill them. There shall be only ONE Queen of the hive. 









JustPlainJim said:


> Ya know, I had this kinda conversation with my best friend (of 10+ years)... I told him I was signing up for a BBW/BHM dating site.
> 
> Him: "Aww, Jim. You shouldn't have to settle like that."
> Me: "... No... I... LIKE big girls."
> ...


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## moonvine (Jul 19, 2006)

Jamgrrrl said:


> I agree! We should never settle. Heck, I wonder why some of these intelligent, witty, educated, attractive big babes are with the scrubs they are with. You know, the type of fellow that doesn't appreciate them or have any idea of her true worth?
> 
> Finding someone that you enjoy, that enjoys you in this little bit of time we have on the planet is not an easy thing. So, when you are fortunate enough to have it or have a glimpse at it... go for it... be proud and talk loud!
> 
> ...



You know, it doesn't bother me overly much to be alone, which is a good thing since I've been alone for years.

There are some people who find it torturous to be alone, though. I can understand why those people "settle". Doesn't mean I think it is a good idea, but I sure do understand it.


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## tnekkralc1956 (Jul 19, 2006)

I've only been here less than 24 hours and already two fine women are making googly eyes at me. What did I ever do to deserve that and what's that got to do with this forum---not that I am not eating it up, you understand. I've intentionally kept myself out of circulation for about ten years and I'm pretty rusty as you can well imagine.
God created the universe, the world and everything in it. Then He created man and gave it all to him. Then he took a piece out of man from his most vulnerable parts and gave man the greatest gift of all. And to this day, we have not yet learned to appreciate woman for what she is. Not a goddess, because that would make me a god, not an object, because that would make me an objectifier, not a toy, for that would make me a player, but a mirror and a friend and an avenue to express love even towards myself without being self indulgent. And I live in constant amazement of these creatures, these women, these gifts! They are to be cherished and to be loved and to be cared for and tended to---the good ones will always give back even more and so the investment grows. Men always think they know what women are looking at. 'She wants me' echoes around in just about every poor slobs heads at least once in his lifetime. Fools. I've been there. Fools. You dummies, they aren't looking at your biceps, or your buns, they are looking at your nose....
Its all mutual ladies. I'm checking out your noses, too. And I am, as I said, living in constant amazement.... at how pretty they are. The eyes are the windows to the soul, but the nose is the window to the sinuses...
My attraction to women and the fat they embody goes back to my very earliest childhood memories and they are early---I remember details of my life from as early as one year old. My mother (God rest her) used to think that was impossible and not until I began to tell her of my memories did she believe me. One of my earliest recollections was being passed around and held closely to the overflowing bosoms of the fat ladies at church services. It was an experience that gave me an indescribable sense of confidence and self worth and comfort, for I could be quite high strung, even in my cotton diapers. As I grew up, I never lost my appreciation for those voluptuous ones who appreciated me although it did get a little murky for a while and I got caught up in the skinny girl trap for a while due to peer pressure and my father's influence. When I went back to see where all of my boyhood crushes were on classmates.com a few years ago, I was astounded to find that all of them had one thing in common: They had ALL grown quite fat---and mostly prettier than I remembered. I literally realized at that point that I had always had this thing living underneath the surface and was magnetized to women who did too, even though most of them in school had not physically manifested themselves yet. It was an epiphany. Thing is, I'll bet I am quite ordinary in that reguard, though few would care to admit it so openly.
Now there is something that I do not understand in all of this, and it must be a clue of some sort---take it for what you will: Everytime, and I mean EVERYTIME, I have become involved with a fat girl, the first thing that happens is that they lose their appetites and begin to lose weight? Hmmmm. If what I think is going on, IS in fact going on, then that is OK with me, too, even though it isn't my preference. It's not my place to stand in the way of anyone's transformation. And what do I think is going on? The substitute for love (food) is replaced by the real thing, and the appetite is shifted away. Another thing happens, and people write fiction about this sort of thing, but I promise you all that this is true, embarrassingly true, deliciously true: their breasts grow. I am not spewing here. Don't roll your eyes at me. My male friends have all observed this phenomenon and I have been the butt of some humor and amazement, but one of them privately asked me once about it and could I help his wife out. Was I practicing witchcraft. Certainly not. Never go near the stuff. I told him the the power rested within him.
My first real girlfriend was twenty one when I met her. Within two years she went from a B to a D although she lost almost a hundred pounds. The second went from a DD to an H although her weight went both up and down depending on how the relationship was going. The third was lopsided, a B on her right side and a C on her left, but within four years she was a double D on both sides and her weight remained about the same because she tried to gain for me (knowing how I am) even though she initially lost about twenty pounds. The fourth and last---well, that was the funniest. She actually figured out what was going on and ASKED me to stop it. I told her that the only way to do that was leave me... that didn't appeal to her, but eventually her development leveled off. The real point of all of this extremely personal sharing? Women respond. It is built in to their/your very natures and if a man is thoughtful, she'll give him everything he wants and needs---and if she's any kind of real woman she'll do it without even thinking, almost effortlessly, but it is the man that plants the seed.
I suppose I should write a book, it seems I'm off to a pretty good start and I deeply appreciate anyone's attention span bearing with me this far. Thank you for your time.


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## olivefun (Jul 19, 2006)

Hmmm

I know that a B cup on a 34 size bra is different from a B cup in a 44 size cup, but maybe you are buying your women better lingerie and their breasts are fitting better?
Maybe the breasts are swelling from constant attention?

I don't know, but the observation is amusing.

Consider this a welcome to you. Hope you find places to feel comfortable.


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## tnekkralc1956 (Jul 19, 2006)

Thank you for welcoming me.
To respond: The fact is, I've never bought even one piece of lingerie, prude that I truly am, although I am quite familiar with the reality that a DDD in one brand is a G or an H in another.... no, the evidence has been in my hands and in my face, and that is all there is to that...
Gotta go do some real manly work now. Thanks for everything, I do feel that good familiar sense of comfort right here.


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## RedVelvet (Jul 19, 2006)

tnekkralc1956 said:


> I've only been here less than 24 hours and already two fine women are making googly eyes at me. What did I ever do to deserve that and what's that got to do with this forum---not that I am not eating it up, you understand. I've intentionally kept myself out of circulation for about ten years and I'm pretty rusty as you can well imagine.
> God created the universe, the world and everything in it. Then He created man and gave it all to him. Then he took a piece out of man from his most vulnerable parts and gave man the greatest gift of all. And to this day, we have not yet learned to appreciate woman for what she is. Not a goddess, because that would make me a god, not an object, because that would make me an objectifier, not a toy, for that would make me a player, but a mirror and a friend and an avenue to express love even towards myself without being self indulgent. And I live in constant amazement of these creatures, these women, these gifts! They are to be cherished and to be loved and to be cared for and tended to---the good ones will always give back even more and so the investment grows. Men always think they know what women are looking at. 'She wants me' echoes around in just about every poor slobs heads at least once in his lifetime. Fools. I've been there. Fools. You dummies, they aren't looking at your biceps, or your buns, they are looking at your nose....
> Its all mutual ladies. I'm checking out your noses, too. And I am, as I said, living in constant amazement.... at how pretty they are. The eyes are the windows to the soul, but the nose is the window to the sinuses...
> My attraction to women and the fat they embody goes back to my very earliest childhood memories and they are early---I remember details of my life from as early as one year old. My mother (God rest her) used to think that was impossible and not until I began to tell her of my memories did she believe me. One of my earliest recollections was being passed around and held closely to the overflowing bosoms of the fat ladies at church services. It was an experience that gave me an indescribable sense of confidence and self worth and comfort, for I could be quite high strung, even in my cotton diapers. As I grew up, I never lost my appreciation for those voluptuous ones who appreciated me although it did get a little murky for a while and I got caught up in the skinny girl trap for a while due to peer pressure and my father's influence. When I went back to see where all of my boyhood crushes were on classmates.com a few years ago, I was astounded to find that all of them had one thing in common: They had ALL grown quite fat---and mostly prettier than I remembered. I literally realized at that point that I had always had this thing living underneath the surface and was magnetized to women who did too, even though most of them in school had not physically manifested themselves yet. It was an epiphany. Thing is, I'll bet I am quite ordinary in that reguard, though few would care to admit it so openly.
> ...




Good lord....this was kind of beautiful....in the strangest way!

I like you, Mr. Giant Paragraph Guy. Let me sit in your lap.

By the way....I am one of those "lose weight" women...I always drop 20 pounds when I fall in love. Always. I tend to stop eating when excited, and that constant state of arousal thingy that is new love is a true appetite killer.

It always comes back, though, even if I remain very happy in the relationship.

Meanwhile...I want bigger breasts than my current C-D's. Like California?


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## tnekkralc1956 (Jul 19, 2006)

Why -gulp- thank you. My keyboard blusheth. I used to like California, lived there until I was 18, but I left and haven't ever looked back. There was always too much judging going on---and I seemed to be an easy target cause my square edges just won't fit into that conformingly round hole I have been aluding to.

Anyway, I have to admit you are quite likable yourself. Hard to find anything wrong with a girl that likes (her own) developing bosom... and a mountain of red hair.

To work, tnek, the day is half spent.


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## RedVelvet (Jul 19, 2006)

tnekkralc1956 said:


> Why -gulp- thank you. My keyboard blusheth. I used to like California, lived there until I was 18, but I left and haven't ever looked back. There was always too much judging going on---and I seemed to be an easy target cause my square edges just won't fit into that conformingly round hole I have been aluding to.
> 
> Anyway, I have to admit you are quite likable yourself. Hard to find anything wrong with a girl that likes (her own) developing bosom... and a mountain of red hair.
> 
> To work, tnek, the day is half spent.




I love a man who doesnt like me for my brains.

heh....

Have a good rest of the day.


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## snuggletiger (Jul 19, 2006)

SensualSSBBWCurves said:


> Not the fact that, you can't do any better than fat chicks it's because it doesn't get any better than fat chicks. Serriously all those yummy curves how could you resist?​



I know I can't


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## Sweet Tooth (Jul 19, 2006)

Jes said:


> I can't believe you didn't take that opportunity to give him the facts, man! About how we're much harder to kidnap? So he was TOTALLY WRONG.
> It's also kind of crazy that he's being rude to fat women to a fat man. Not that you necessarily have to find fat women more attractive than any other kind of women, but look at his audience! He was clearly making you an 'honorary thin dude,' I think, which I HATE.



Jes, is it bad that I'm on the same wavelength as you?  I, too, was thinking about kidnapping.


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## Jes (Jul 19, 2006)

Sweet Tooth said:


> Jes, is it bad that I'm on the same wavelength as you?  I, too, was thinking about kidnapping.


Bad? BAD? Uhm, I think it's the opposite--amazing. I was just corresponding with someone and it struck me that I'm adorable. Really freakin' adorable sometimes. My turn of phrase. My impish naughtiness. CHARMING AND DELIGHTFUL. Makes you want to pinch my cheek and rub my boobies at the same time.


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## JustPlainJim (Jul 19, 2006)

Jes:
Call me idealistic, but... Okay, I saw the meaning behind "Shallow Hal". Once you get to know someone, you can see through any kind of appearances they may put up or just naturally have up. So, on that note, he's been my best friend for 10+ years. He knows me prett mcuh inside and out... Well, well enough to think I'm a great guy (is that confidence or arrogance?)... He just thinks I "deserve better" That I "deserve the best"... Which is why I signed up in the first place. The large and lovely ladies are the best... _to me_. To him, he prefers the trim, athletic (and slightly muscleboud) women. He says my women are easier to catch, I say his women tend to snap in half during sex. 

LillyBBBW:
Oh, belive me. If Vance stole my girlfriend/wife/lover/cat away, we'd fight to the death in an epic lightsaber battle on Mustafar... Or at least, I'd fill a pool with Tang and we'd fight on rafts or... something...

Anyone whose opinion matters knows I'm a FA. Anyone else, I jsut say "I love her." or "I think she's #@%*ing sexy." or "Shut up and how the hell did you get in my house?!"


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## Jes (Jul 19, 2006)

JustPlainJim said:


> Jes:
> Call me idealistic, but... Okay, I saw the meaning behind "Shallow Hal". Once you get to know someone, you can see through any kind of appearances they may put up or just naturally have up. So, on that note, he's been my best friend for 10+ years. He knows me prett mcuh inside and out... Well, well enough to think I'm a great guy (is that confidence or arrogance?)... He just thinks I "deserve better" That I "deserve the best"... Which is why I signed up in the first place. The large and lovely ladies are the best... _to me_. To him, he prefers the trim, athletic (and slightly muscleboud) women. He says my women are easier to catch, I say his women tend to snap in half during sex.
> 
> LillyBBBW:
> ...


you're absolutely allowed to befriend who you like--I didn't really mean my comments that way, but I do find it odd when people talk about a certain group sort of IN FRONT OF that group. Maybe b/c I just never know what to do in that situation when it happens to me. It's a little bit nutty. But he's your pal and you love him. I'm all for that man-on-man love. ALL for it. Trust me.


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## JustPlainJim (Jul 19, 2006)

Jes said:


> you're absolutely allowed to befriend who you like--I didn't really mean my comments that way, but I do find it odd when people talk about a certain group sort of IN FRONT OF that group. Maybe b/c I just never know what to do in that situation when it happens to me. It's a little bit nutty. But he's your pal and you love him. I'm all for that man-on-man love. ALL for it. Trust me.



Ooh, like those people who talk ABOUT you when you're RIGHT THERE? Ooohhhh, that burns me up... Well, not really, becuase I can usually smack 'em on the back of the head... 

As for Jim-on-Vance action... we've come close to kissing before, but only to freak out my mother.


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## Sweet Tooth (Jul 19, 2006)

Jes said:


> Bad? BAD? Uhm, I think it's the opposite--amazing. I was just corresponding with someone and it struck me that I'm adorable. Really freakin' adorable sometimes. My turn of phrase. My impish naughtiness. CHARMING AND DELIGHTFUL. Makes you want to pinch my cheek and rub my boobies at the same time.



Ahh... but which cheek?


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## Moonchild (Jul 20, 2006)

tnekkralc1956 said:


> not a toy, for that would make me a player


I'm a player


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## Jes (Jul 20, 2006)

Sweet Tooth said:


> Ahh... but which cheek?


oh who cares. i let the pincher drive that process.


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## GordoNegro (Jul 20, 2006)

Everyone has a limited # of true soulmates to fulfill them until their remains are rejoined with the earth once more.
Life is too short, too unpredictable to take haters seriously.


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## tnekkralc1956 (Jul 20, 2006)

Well, said friend. People that hate and express themselves openly in that manner, are inviting the Wrath upon their own stupidly blind souls. In the meantime, the behavior is provoking and if one will not buy into their hatred with defensiveness or more hatred in return (I'm elaborating on your point) you make them look like the fools that they really are. Of course, we also already know that often as not, they will next attempt to crank up the volume... hold steady to your course. It just makes them look that much more ignorant. We have the choice in life to spread around anything; love, hate, anger, joy. Every seed sown has its own reward. If people really could grasp that this world would be a very cool place.


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## Adrian (Jul 20, 2006)

shy guy said:


> Ok guys how many times have you heard that one before(or something like it)I have ben told that for more then a few years now so how do you be with it?


I have heard of people saying but, never directly to me. I guess I was fortunate in that my first girlfriend was a MSBBW and each sucessive girl was proportionally heavier. The world got used to me being with BBWs.
I also gather it being said 'to someone' of whom has been evaluated by others as not being first rate. That you get only what comes by you, not that you are able to compete with any man for a woman and win.




shy guy said:


> why is it so hard for people understand some guys like them small and some guys like them BIG!!!...later


Because the mass media has told society that thin is good and fat is bad. I have seldom had any desire to be with a woman smaller than a MSBBW. [Well, the only exception is about a month after child birth, when there is no such thing as an ugly woman!]




truth38 said:


> "I am so glad you love me, despite of how I look, I guess I should be grateful".


My wife felt this way when we got married. I guess her gaining weight after child birthS and me finding her more attractive physically, assured her that indeed I did find her attractive.

Adrian


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## isotope (Jul 20, 2006)

I'm sure someone has said this already, Im not sure, I didnt read all the pages.

People say this as if fat/big/chubby/plump/fluffy girls have no standards and just throw themselves at anything that comes their way. I have known plenty of big girls who have standards higher than average girls. 

FA's dont have it easy, they just got more reward for their troubles of courting a big girl.

or something like that.


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## comngetmeFA (Jul 20, 2006)

tnekkralc1956 said:


> I've only been here less than 24 hours and already *two fine women *are making googly eyes at me. What did I ever do to deserve that and what's that got to do with this forum---not that I am not eating it up, you understand.






comngetmeFA said:


> You're right, he does have a nice nose! The whole pic's nice, like the glasses too




Was that partly directed to me for the comment on your pic? If so, thanx for your nice comment,:wubu: and looking at my profile pic (most users probably think I'm a guy). And IF NOT, than I feel _kind of _silly for saying all of this


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## tnekkralc1956 (Jul 21, 2006)

Why would anybody think you are a guy (unless that is your secret desire, let me assure you it's not all it's cracked up to be, but then, is womanhood either?), trotted out so openly for all the world to see, and so gently and deliberately dropped within my breast. Ask RedVelvet. I am an old soul at this. Hebrews 13:2. Take the ball and run with it.


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## tnekkralc1956 (Jul 21, 2006)

I've just now realized how the bosom grows,

The one that thinks

Her picture shows---

and doubts her femininty

inspires me...

It grows t'ward me and Heaven knows,

HE'S granted me these silly prose,

In order to make,

our bosoms grow,

With that right said,

Where do you go---

After the bosom

Of flesh has grown?

And so much so more so

This is known:

Big and fat the bosom has grown...

HAS YOUR SOUL KEPT UP WITH THE PACE, BOYZ AND GURLZ?

Shall I finish my poem?

I have to thank the man that started this link, and the one true living God in Heaven that brought me here.


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## tnekkralc1956 (Jul 21, 2006)

Silence is my invitation.
So here I go---no hesitation,

Within my breast my heart grows larger,
And this is how the bosom grows:

Big and fat and overflowing,
On you girl, that would be quite showing,

for women are the outward expression,

Of how the bosom grows.

So far you think,
This man is crazy,

Yet he knows that fat don't rime with lazy,
Maybe he's just drunk and hazy...

Stop reading between lines that are not there---

And you will feel your bosom grow.

So now you have my simple secret,
Freely given with no regret,

Oh, yes, fat equals loveliness,
And I feel your bosom grow.

My secret repeats one more time,
for I am running out of rime,

How does he make her bosom grow?
He SHOWERS PURE LOVE,
And now you know,
How it appears---

I make the bosom grow.


Have a great day, each and every one,
And spread some of that love around.
The dividends return One hundred fold.
:bow:
Thank ya kindly, now it's time to go.
Time to make more bosoms grow.

tnek kralc


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## RedVelvet (Jul 21, 2006)

ooooh..

I won't be touching this...

I'll just stand over here and watch, thanks!


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## RedVelvet (Jul 21, 2006)

ha.

Clark Kent.

Just got it.

Shouldn't have taken all those drugs in college.


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## Ericthonius (Jul 23, 2006)

tnekkralc1956 said:


> ...Stop reading between lines that are not there---
> 
> And you will feel your bosom grow.
> 
> ...



Quoth the Raven,
Big tits rule!


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## MizzRubens (Jul 23, 2006)

isotope said:


> People say this as if fat/big/chubby/plump/fluffy girls have no standards and just throw themselves at anything that comes their way. I have known plenty of big girls who have standards higher than average girls.
> 
> FA's dont have it easy, they just got more reward for their troubles of courting a big girl.



A foreign (dim)friend of mine said something like that to me. 
He said I was picky (I guess he is right but not in a negative way) and that it was a compliment to him that I wanted to be with him even though I have such high standards. 

I just value myself highly and don't settle for anything less. 

(ok... that just might have sound a little bit arrogant, but you know what I mean)


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## EbonySSBBW (Jul 23, 2006)

RedVelvet said:


> Can I just say I am digging the "Crispiest" thing?
> 
> SO cute.
> 
> Me gonna steal that, tanks.




Feel free to use it.  He is always nibbling on me and tells me, "you're just too crispy!" lol


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## mrskeet (Aug 5, 2006)

Me I rather date big women because I'm more attracted to them I like curves I like thick thunder thighs, wide hips, big butt it's just a turn on to me. Plus just holding onto a BBW that great feeling kissing her on her neck pampering her like crazy I just love to do that to a bbw I just can't never hook up with one because bbw seem to like real skinny guys more and I'm built more like a running back and I guess they don't like that I'm built more in the mode of emmit smith and I guess bbw don't like men built like that.


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## Adrian (Aug 6, 2006)

To me the most difficult aspect of dating BBWs is the effort required to get them to believe you are truely sincere, when you tell them..... "you are more than a pretty face to me!" 
I tell them to study me. See how I react when a thin woman enters an area and how I act when a BBW enters the area. Do you think I am acting? What do your instincts as a woman tell you about my behavior?? 
Take the time, and you will see my values are not those of the mass media, they are uniquely mine, they are valid and, they are not some form of fetish. 




tnekkralc1956 said:


> Yet he knows that fat don't rime with lazy
> tnek kralc


I like this line, I will remember to use it when apropriate. 



tnekkralc1956 said:


> So now you have my simple secret,
> Freely given with no regret,
> 
> Oh, yes, fat equals loveliness,
> ...


Some pretty exciting stuff, real good work! 
While breast growing as the woman grows is exciting, big buns will cause me to act silly real quick even at my age (62yr). 

Adrian


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## GeorgeNL (Aug 6, 2006)

Adrian said:


> To me the most difficult aspect of dating BBWs is the effort required to get them to believe you are truely sincere, when you tell them..... "you are more than a pretty face to me!"
> I tell them to study me. See how I react when a thin woman enters an area and how I act when a BBW enters the area. Do you think I am acting? What do your instincts as a woman tell you about my behavior??
> Take the time, and you will see my values are not those of the mass media, they are uniquely mine, they are valid and, they are not some form of fetish.



From my train travel experiences, I noticed that making eye contact and sending a smile already does wonders. Most women can see very well from your eyes if you are serious or not.

Indeed, it is more challanging to confince someone that our preference is not some sort of fetish. I use to compare it to musical taste to explain that our preferences are as diverse as nature itself. E.g. you're always beautiful in someone's eyes.


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## tnekkralc1956 (Aug 6, 2006)

George, you and Adrian are both on the same page with me.

That difficulty that many full figured women have accepting our preferences must surely stem from the difficulty they have accepting themselves first. Hopefully forums like this are helping break down those barriers.

Over the course of about the last twenty years I've gone with about three women. If any one of them had been a soul mate, I would be married now and I probably wouldn't be commenting here---Anyway, every single one of them had that barrier up. From them (collectively) I was told I was a freak, had a fetish, had a problem---I mean, you guys have all heard this stuff before---and the deal is, look at what they are saying, really saying, about themselves: 'There is something wrong with me and there is something wrong with you for finding me attractive---this way.' While men seem to fear failure more than anything, women it seems, fear criticism/not being good enough and in the end we are all our own worst enemies. I have learned that women are universally much more critical (certainly of themselves) than men are. I believe the industries built up around fashion, makeup, etc., bear this out. I will never forget the last girl I went with. I was told that after she hit thirty, the cigarettes and the rowing machine just didn't work for her anymore. She began to put weight on her 'perfect' 125 pound, 38-24-36, 5'6" frame. She peaked up around 250. Then she starved it off of herself. Then she put it all back on. Then she starved herself again and got down to around 180 and her body wouldn't let her get below that---if she did her hair would fall out in clumps. That was when I met her. She was clinically depressed---so totally convinced that she was unattractive I believe to this day that she though that she was SETTLING for me! It was a monumental effort on my part to convince her otherwise on all counts... a continual battle against low self esteem. And it got worse. She became ill with some kind of lung infection about three months after I started seeing her that turned life threatening. The doctor put her on some very powerful steroid that caused her to gain about seventy pounds over the next three months! So there she was back up to 250, sick, more depressed and self loathing. She was never able to drop the weight again. I remember laying in her bed one Sunday evening watching a movie with her sometime after she had gotten well. All of a sudden she began to ball. I looked over at her and before I could get my question out she blurted, "look at me! I'm big as a house!" She had been looking at herself next to me in the mirror at the foot of the bed. I spent the rest of the evening reassuring her that I found her more desirable at that time than I did six months earlier when I met her. She couldn't very well argue with me because of the evidence of the way I treated her. Still, she never was able to get off of it. In the four years I went with her I was only able to get her to go OUT with me three times! She always had an excuse. She though her breast were too big and was angry with me for being pleased with them (I have mentioned her in another posting on this thread) and because I had something to do with them being bigger.

You may have guessed by now, but I finally gave up on her. She got her way. She fulfilled her own prophesy and in the end made herself undesirable by being so miserable. She couldn't love herself and she couldn't love me. It is a sad story, but one I think might not be so uncommon. Take heed ye ladies who read! If you see yourself in this snippet from my life---please stop and ask yourself this serious question: Am I good enough, deserving just as I am, to be happy with myself and to love myself---and a mate---unconditionally? If the answer isn't an unequivocal 'Yes' then you should seek the counsel of the wise, for you are going to ruin a good thing, like my ex did, if you haven't already.


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## Jes (Aug 6, 2006)

The bible (yikes! i'm not even religious) talks of the 2 people in a couple being unequally yoked, and how that just isn't going to work. And sometimes, in these relationships, I don't think it's about self-acceptance, necessarily. Yes, I should say that I think baseline self-acceptance is great, but that doesn't mean you have to want the same thing. If she didn't want to be 250 then she didn't want to be 250. It was her right not to want to be 250, especially because she'd been much thinner than that and knew what it felt like--she could compare (I really can't, I don't recall!). This argument is different than the: convince her you find her attractive b/c it's not about you. It's sort of like...what if she kept telling you she liked your job of xyz, but you desperately wanted to go back to school to be abc. Sure, you COULD stay xyz, but that's not the point. It's a disagreement on an issue like any other disagreement in a relationship. Now, the fact that perhaps her weight never would change is a factor, but....
well, I don't know if I've explained it well, I just know that as someone fat, who has had some communication with people who like fat people, there are just lots of differences in the 2 camps. This has become so unbelievably clear to me over the last few days that I find myself rather shocked, frankly.


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## Adrian (Aug 6, 2006)

GeorgeNL said:


> I noticed that making eye contact and sending a smile already does wonders. Most women can see very well from your eyes if you are serious or not.
> 
> 
> tnekkralc1956 said:
> ...


The crux of the issue is self-acceptance. If you really believe in yourself these attitudes are not strong issues in your life. 
Look at the machismo attitude, these youngmen are not all handsome. There attitude about themselves where they see themselves as being great to one degree or another but overall a positive attitude about themselves.




tnekkralc1956 said:


> I have learned that women are universally much more critical (certainly of themselves) than men are. I believe the industries built up around fashion, makeup, etc., bear this out.


The mass media keeps pushing this point because it makes money. It helps the economy if they can keep you feeling.... that by using their product you will be a better person. Who you are has nothing to do with what you can purchase. Unfortunately, not enough people believe that. 

So in full response to the original comment, "You only date fat chicks because you can't do no better," is very accurate. To me there is nothing better than a BBW! Once you've had the best, you can never be satisfied with second best!!! 

Adrian


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## Sweet Tooth (Aug 7, 2006)

Jes said:


> The bible (yikes! i'm not even religious) talks of the 2 people in a couple being unequally yoked, and how that just isn't going to work. And sometimes, in these relationships, I don't think it's about self-acceptance, necessarily. Yes, I should say that I think baseline self-acceptance is great, but that doesn't mean you have to want the same thing. If she didn't want to be 250 then she didn't want to be 250. It was her right not to want to be 250, especially because she'd been much thinner than that and knew what it felt like--she could compare (I really can't, I don't recall!). This argument is different than the: convince her you find her attractive b/c it's not about you. It's sort of like...what if she kept telling you she liked your job of xyz, but you desperately wanted to go back to school to be abc. Sure, you COULD stay xyz, but that's not the point. It's a disagreement on an issue like any other disagreement in a relationship. Now, the fact that perhaps her weight never would change is a factor, but....
> well, I don't know if I've explained it well, I just know that as someone fat, who has had some communication with people who like fat people, there are just lots of differences in the 2 camps. This has become so unbelievably clear to me over the last few days that I find myself rather shocked, frankly.



Actually, despite my thinking that people need to accept themselves and not answer to others for liking themselves, I'm with ya on this one, Jes. People need to be on the same page and have the same core values about life in general and respect for the differences, including different choices. And sometimes it's miscommunication or semantics that make feel like they're not on the same wavelength, but sometimes people just can't wrap their heads around another's perspective no matter how much explanation goes into it.


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## tnekkralc1956 (Aug 7, 2006)

I guess the part I left out was that I understood where she was coming from very quickly (of course it wasn't all about me!) after that Sunday evening and I went to great lengths to help her find a way back to her former self... and that was when I realized that she wasn't serious. She complained about it all, but that's as far as it went. She wouldn't budge. It wasn't really that she couldn't lose the weight again, it's that she wouldn't lose the weight again. She couldn't use the cheats that she had gotten away with anymore. Her metabolism had revolted. No, this woman, I discovered through her son and the rest of her family, was almost as miserable with herself at 125 as she was at 250. The only difference was that at 250 she had some thing to blame it on, and that is what she did. She told me that she'd been binging and purging for years. She gained weight when she quit purging. She continued to binge. She quit the rowing machine and any other extra form of exercise. She gave up smoking, but took up swilling diet sodas. She lived mostly on processed foods. Your aren't going to lose weight with that life style. That was almost 12 years ago. I still run into her from time to time, usually in the grocery store. She still looks like she's about 250. Her shopping cart is usually half full of diet sodas and other junk foods. Nothing fresh; never any produce but potatoes. Incidently, anyone who has done any research on aspartame will quickly realize that that stuff is not only poisonous, but is, in fact, a heavy persons worst enemy. My sister is a nutritional therapist. She has told me over the years that every single person she has worked with that drank those things reported that they actually gained weight on them, felt varying levels of disorientation, and often suffered mild to extreme depression. She has also reported that, of all things, diet soda habits seem to be one of the hardest to break.

Anyway, no doubt people should not be unequally yoked, and misery loves company. I don't like being miserable, so we were unequally yoked, that is for sure.

I get back to my original point: you've got to love and accept yourself for who and what you are right now, period, to have any measure of success at life. I'll even add this: no one can make positive changes in oneself be it over weight, health, or anything else without FIRST being positive about yourself in this manner. That is a rule, not an opinion. As far as weight control is concerned, using cheats like starving, or purging, or smoking, or diet sodas, or pills are only going to bring disasterous results. Just ask or look at the people that have gone that route. Cheats are not positive. They are like get rich quich schemes. Easy come, easy go. The evidence is staggering, yet so many in our fast food society think they are going to find happiness in a can or a pill despite all the evidence to the contrary.

I'm through now. This horse looks beat to death to me.


----------



## tnekkralc1956 (Aug 8, 2006)

The tree was She.

And She the tree

Faced out to Sea

And cried out for her Destiny.

Her true love that was meant to be.


'Twas no surprise one-day came He.

Yet so,

Ironically,

He the tree

Lived much behind fair She.


It began then in her heart that She,

Decided what must surely be.


Then so in seven years would be,

She twisted trunk away from Sea,

Thus turned Her gaze to fix on He.

They are now close as 'ere will be,

She

The tree

And

Me.




Now for the tough stuff. Don't you even think for a minute this isn't copyrighted. Fair warning. Meantime, Ladies, enjoy! I wrote it for all of you.

Tnek


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## tnekkralc1956 (Aug 9, 2006)

I'd post some of my digital work here if I knew how. But if anyone's interested I've got some of my CG stuff up on AniMotions.com and Renderosity.com. I think you have to join to view and they do put a cookie on you. They don't sell it. They track your viewings on their pages, respectively. You can always remove it. I am listed as (artist) tnekkralc1956 on both pages. You all might like my take on 'Anorexia' over on Renderosity ...

Thanks for lurking.


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## Moonchild (Aug 9, 2006)

Woah, those are nice. I especially like "Taking My Hydra for a Spin." What program do you use for that?


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## tnekkralc1956 (Aug 10, 2006)

So you like to pick the gitfiddle? My dad is a lead guitarist locally (to him) and very popular (he's 71)!

Everbody needs an outlet, I think. Mine is writing and art on the one hand; inventing and building on the other. If you are playing professionally, well then, you are ahead of my game...


sans segue:

No doubt you've found out what all insiders know:

Dimension's dimensions are all encompassing. No matter our other differences, we are safe here and we know it. In particular: Women are comfortable here and its our place to respect that, nurture that, cherish that. Show those freaks out there what they're missing out on. Gold is buried deep. Often it is under an unctuous bulge of feminity. Yum! More icing on the cake. Critics beware: I am not objectifying, I am personifying.

I don't know about you, but after a highschool fling or three I found myself gravitating back towards the more voluptuous-and-fuller-figured woman. It was also extremely intoxicating to find that the kind of women (inclusive of this physical attribute) that I was/am attracted to seemed to somehow lovingly and lustfully desire me right back. Great Heaven's Joy! Magnetism! We all seek that balance. By the way: men should never fear a woman's rejection nor her love. It's all the same. She is what she is. She'll often try to make you think that she's doing you a favor allowing you be in the same room with her. So let her think that, but don't ever really believe that or she will lose her respect for you a notch or more. She'll test you once in a while, and when you show her that you really do love her more today than yesterday, she'll never test you again. Until the next time. Also, women aim to please, despite most of their fussing about it... That's how they gain their powers over you. It's not so controlling as it may appear on the surface. They let us dictate to them and they need the reward of that kind of surrender: A bit of control in return. They need recognition and you will find that a little goes a long way! 

Find yourself a soulmate. I believe that pound for pound, there are more of them here than on any cultured site on the Web.


Oh, yeah, I should go ahead and answer your question here, too. Those are Poser figures and props imported into Vue 5 Infinite. The big trick in any of these programs you use is in simulating lighting and atmosphere. If you master that, these programs will sit up and do tricks for you.

Thanks for looking.:bow:


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## lonelyfa (Aug 14, 2006)

i really couldnt care less because 9 out of 10 times the ass holes who say that look like this 

View attachment guidos.jpg


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## sirumberto (Aug 14, 2006)

lonelyfa said:


> i really couldnt care less because 9 out of 10 times the ass holes who say that look like this



And on that note, guidettes:

View attachment dec72002%20001.jpeg


Apologies to any Jersey girls here. I couldn't help myself.


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## RedVelvet (Aug 14, 2006)

lonelyfa said:


> i really couldnt care less because 9 out of 10 times the ass holes who say that look like this




How I HATE that fecking hairstyle! HATE HATE HATE!

May they be impaled on their own gel encrusted follicles!


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## lemmink (Aug 14, 2006)

I wonder what they look like when it rains.


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## Dibaby35 (Aug 14, 2006)

RedVelvet said:


> How I HATE that fecking hairstyle! HATE HATE HATE!
> 
> May they be impaled on their own gel encrusted follicles!



LMAO!!

Me too..they are all like little clones running around..I'm sure that's the way it's been through history with hairstyles, but just seems so bad in this day.

As a sidenote I find it particularly humorous that the collar up thing is coming back...but I've only seen it on guys for some odd reason..*shrugs*


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## shy guy (Aug 14, 2006)

lemmink said:


> I wonder what they look like when it rains.


One word *bald* becuse at this point there hair is nothing but gellol...later


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## love dubh (Aug 14, 2006)

sirumberto said:


> And on that note, guidettes:
> 
> View attachment 8391
> 
> ...



Not all Jersey girls are guidettes.


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## sirumberto (Aug 14, 2006)

maire dubh said:


> Not all Jersey girls are guidettes.



I know.  I was pretty much just rambling by that point last night. No offense intended.


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## mrskeet (Aug 14, 2006)

BBW are the best more to love, more to hold on to. I wish to God I could find a bbw for a long term relationship but it's hard as hell for me. I guess I'm too faithful for a bbw today because it seems like a lot of women want a man who cheats more these days.


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## love dubh (Aug 14, 2006)

sirumberto said:


> I know.  I was pretty much just rambling by that point last night. No offense intended.



It's okay.  But guidos, oh boy. They run amock here. Fortunately, my boy is not a guido. He's too indie rawk for that shite.


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## olivefun (Aug 15, 2006)

mrskeet said:


> BBW are the best more to love, more to hold on to. I wish to God I could find a bbw for a long term relationship but it's hard as hell for me. I guess I'm too faithful for a bbw today because it seems like a lot of women want a man who cheats more these days.



Now, what on earth would make you say a thing like that??

Jeesh!

I don't even know how to respond to that.


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## sirumberto (Aug 15, 2006)

olivefun said:


> Now, what on earth would make you say a thing like that??
> 
> Jeesh!
> 
> I don't even know how to respond to that.



Lookin' for love in all the wrong places.


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## love dubh (Aug 15, 2006)

I LOVE me a man who'll bring all dem STDs home to mama.


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## lonelyfa (Aug 15, 2006)

woot woot LOL.


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## sirumberto (Aug 15, 2006)

Come on, you know I don't have the crabs yet baby, but I'm working on it. I'll get em to ya. I promise. Just give me two more weeks... ONE more week baby... I promise!


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## Moonchild (Aug 15, 2006)

I was down in Seaside Hights for the first time last week, and they actually sell shirts that say "I (heart) GUIDOS" and "I (heart) MY ITALIAN STALLION." These of course were right next to the "I (heart) MYSPACE" shirts.

I felt like I was in Sodom.


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## love dubh (Aug 15, 2006)

Moonchild said:


> I was down in Seaside Hights for the first time last week, and they actually sell shirts that say "I (heart) GUIDOS" and "I (heart) MY ITALIAN STALLION." These of course were right next to the "I (heart) MYSPACE" shirts.
> 
> I felt like I was in Sodom.



For one, Moonchild, you should know better. Seaside Heights is dirtier than a French gigolo. 

If you're ever in the Old Bridge/Manalapan area, I saw a stripclub whose announcement board says: "TONIGHT. THE GIRLS OF MYSPACE." It was hilllllllarious.


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## Fyreflyintheskye (Aug 15, 2006)

BeaBea said:


> I once had a woman say to me 'I think your boyfriend is great - he dates you because you have such a great personality and doesn't care about how you look'
> 
> My boyfriend overheard and replied 'Are you kidding? I date her *inspite* of her personality - it's all about her ass'
> 
> ...




Tracey, thanks for the laugh. I have similar instances, albeit, they've all happened within the confines of my own family's attitudes and beliefs. I've very gracefully declined two proposals, much to their chagrin. It's not pickiness or anything remotely like that. To me, it is for very good reason. I just feel as though I have certain basic qualifications which must be met (kindness, even-temperedness/someone who can control his temper, someone who can hold a conversation, stablility, open-mindedness/er, non-frigidness lol, and some other not as arbitrary things. You know what I mean, I'll bet ) before I can allow myself to be legally bound to someone. If someone has one and not another or we don't click superbly, I will either pull the plug or be quick to disappear lol. Anyway, I will be involved with someone (usually seriously) and my Grammy will say something off-handedly like, "Oh, you'd better not turn this one down. How many do you think go for your shape, Sharleen?" It doesn't hurt. It just surprises me. Or my mom will say, "You should consider losing weight if he asks you to because it would make it easier on the relationship. You'd have less stress," and also, "You'd be a knockout if you lost 100lbs. Have you thought about that band surgery?" The candor is nothing I'm not already used to... it's the belief system behind it where all the women in my family think svelte is the only way to be which confounds me. Some of it is funny. And the rest is just... WTF?! This is projection in the psychological sense lol... but I honestly think they think it's criminal for me to have standards. I should just take whomever comes along and hope for the best. I've brought that up in conversation and they deny it, but I really have to wonder. They've met men I have dated. They know they're not losers or con artists or creeps, so if I had trouble "getting" a man at "my size," (etc. Etc.) and should be taking whomever comes along, wouldn't they have met some shady ones by now? lol. I wish my family were more accepting of my size. It bugs me. 

Captain Obvious signing off!


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## Moonchild (Aug 15, 2006)

maire dubh said:


> For one, Moonchild, you should know better. Seaside Heights is dirtier than a French gigolo.
> 
> If you're ever in the Old Bridge/Manalapan area, I saw a stripclub whose announcement board says: "TONIGHT. THE GIRLS OF MYSPACE." It was hilllllllarious.



Yeah... learned from that mistake. It's every negative stereotype about New Jersey ever all on one little strip of land.

There's a strip club in Hazlet on 36 called "Fantasie's." Honestly they probably did it on purpose but I suspect unintentional misuse of the posessive form.


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## Ample Pie (Aug 16, 2006)

I was thinking about this last night and while it's a pretty bad situation, what's worse, for me, is when it's the GUY who feels that way himself, though he might not even know it. I'm not talking about the jerks of the world, but of the geniune guys who just happen to have low self esteem and then they date fat chicks because they themselves feel they can't do any better and that a fat chick will be less of a challenge--and all while they don't even _realize_ they're doing it. I can be supportive and loving toward my friends...I can and WILL be in fact, but I've had my fill of guys with no self-esteem. To make a really healthy relationship, all parties involved have to love themselves first. You gotta feel like you belong there or it'll all fall apart.

sorry to ramble.


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## DebbieBBW (Aug 16, 2006)

OMG..it's amazing some of the stupid things that people will say! His come back was GREAT!

It used to piss me off when I was married and coworkers would meet my hubby. He is a very good looking guy and they would act SHOCKED:shocked: alot of the time. 

They were soooooooooo clueless to the fact that telling me over and over again how good looking he was along with the facial expression they would use was very RUDE! He never seemed to notice and was always super duper proud to have a woman who in his eyes was more attractive than a skinny girl anyday!



BeaBea said:


> I once had a woman say to me 'I think your boyfriend is great - he dates you because you have such a great personality and doesn't care about how you look'
> 
> My boyfriend overheard and replied 'Are you kidding? I date her *inspite* of her personality - it's all about her ass'
> 
> ...


----------



## Fyreflyintheskye (Aug 16, 2006)

Rebecca said:


> I was thinking about this last night and while it's a pretty bad situation, what's worse, for me, is when it's the GUY who feels that way himself, though he might not even know it. I'm not talking about the jerks of the world, but of the geniune guys who just happen to have low self esteem and then they date fat chicks because they themselves feel they can't do any better and that a fat chick will be less of a challenge--and all while they don't even _realize_ they're doing it. I can be supportive and loving toward my friends...I can and WILL be in fact, but I've had my fill of guys with no self-esteem. To make a really healthy relationship, all parties involved have to love themselves first. You gotta feel like you belong there or it'll all fall apart.
> 
> sorry to ramble.



Oh no, no ramble at all. I'm sorry you have had experiences with these kinds of guys. Chin up because the majority of them... well, they're definitely not like that! There are probably a lot of guys who don't feel good about themselves who feel like they're settling for us because they think we're the only ones who will take them. It's sad. Sorry for the "me, too!" message but I don't have a lot to add to this except that I totally agree you have to love yourself first before you can love anyone else. It's just practicality.  HUG!


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## HICKORYWOOD1980 (Aug 19, 2006)

I Just Like Big Girls Too
I Like Small Ones
But I Like The Bigger Ones More


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## angel-1 (Jul 18, 2008)

shy guy said:


> Ok guys how many times have you heard that one before(or something like it)I have ben told that for more then a few years now so how do you be with it? I just let it roll off my back and why is it so hard for people understand some guys like them small and some guys like them BIG!!!...later




Every time someone has said that, it's always been a woman. What's worse is some of them were fat. I still can't wrap my head around that one. The day of my wedding, during our vows, my wife said in front of everyone, "You must understand, you will NEVER do better than me. I am all there is." And she was right.


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## wrestlingguy (Jul 18, 2008)

Just an observation, and this is by no means a slam at anyone who has posted recently in this thread or countless others of late, but have you all noticed how many threads from years ago are being resurrected?

It's kinda like watching TV druing the summer, and catching all of the re-runs, but your friends are asking you if you caught the latest episode of such and such, and you saw it months ago.

I worry that we are running out of cool things to discuss. I hope not.


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## Victim (Jul 18, 2008)

I'm a BHM with a SSBBW and I get crap like that all the time. The "Oh, you're fat too and that is the best you can do so it's OK I guess" attitude...


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## Santaclear (Jul 18, 2008)

wrestlingguy said:


> Just an observation, and this is by no means a slam at anyone who has posted recently in this thread or countless others of late, but have you all noticed how many threads from years ago are being resurrected?
> It's kinda like watching TV during the summer, and catching all of the re-runs, but your friends are asking you if you caught the latest episode of such and such, and you saw it months ago.
> I worry that we are running out of cool things to discuss. I hope not.



I don't mind the old threads. Nostalgia! Classics! Beloved Dims personalities who've moved on! Encore! Generally doesn't annoy or worry me.


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## Shosh (Jul 18, 2008)

angel-1 said:


> Every time someone has said that, it's always been a woman. What's worse is some of them were fat. I still can't wrap my head around that one. The day of my wedding, during our vows, my wife said in front of everyone, "You must understand, you will NEVER do better than me. I am all there is." And she was right.



That is lovely. That is as it should be.


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## pickleman357 (Jul 19, 2008)

Here's what you say to anyone who says this to you

"I'm sorry that you only find women who look like 10 year old boys with makeup on, attractive. I tend to like real women. Sorry if this concept is too complicated for you."

And then go and eat ice cream in their face and REALLY enjoy it, and then ask them how their celery is. Mwahaha!


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## largenlovely (Jul 19, 2008)

in response to the myspace crap fat gals get...

a huge majority of it is just dumb kids hoping to get a rise out of someone. Then you get the occasional email from a grown man who really just hates fat women. I've also gotten a few emails from other fat women saying i should "put on some clothes" and how DARE i show my fat body parts *gasp* hehe. 

If ya get dumb emails from kids...don't even bother with them. Report them and let them know you're doing that...same for the occasional grown fella because you'll never change his mind. As for the fat women who may write...

I think it's best to try to speak to the fat women. I've had a lot of instances where someone wrote me in a very hostile manner, but upon trying to reason with them...and being nice, we wound up discussing societies view on fat women, their own insecurities and how to overcome them. Though sometimes it takes some work and LOTS of patience trying to discuss these things with them, because they want to be angry at you for going against everything they've been taught all their lives and have bought into. They feel, well if *I* can't do this, then damnit you shouldn't either. It's worth at least trying to not respond negatively to them if they rant at ya or whatever....maybe you can change their mind


----------



## Scorsese86 (Jul 19, 2008)

I remember like in school... after a few crushes and so, a friend of me asked me: "You only like fat chicks do you?", because all my crushes had been chubby girls. All I said was "yes". No problem with that ever since.
Also I can't say I care what people say... I think most of my friends understand what kind of preferance I have.


----------



## Shosh (Jul 19, 2008)

angel-1 said:


> Every time someone has said that, it's always been a woman. What's worse is some of them were fat. I still can't wrap my head around that one. The day of my wedding, during our vows, my wife said in front of everyone, "You must understand, you will NEVER do better than me. I am all there is." And she was right.



Rest in peace Angel. You were such a gentleman and a wonderful friend to many here.

Thank you for all the kind messages that you sent me as I have been struggling with this illness. 

I never met you but I cant stop crying right now.

Marisol your husband was such a good guy, and you were his queen. La reina.


----------



## JMNYC (Jul 19, 2008)

I date(d) fat chicks because they turned me on physically, and the thin women I dated didn't.

I got sick and tired of dating people I met here or there, holding hands, laughing and spending time together, then, yet again, experiencing a progression to the physical part of a relationship and...dudsville.

I still love and appreciate skinny ladies.

I just do not have a desire to devour them for breakfast, lunch, dinnner, dessert.


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## goofy girl (Jul 19, 2008)

If anyone told me that I was doing anything because I "couldn't do no better" I'd smack them just for the poor grammar alone.


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## washburn (Jul 23, 2008)

NFA said:


> Actually, I _do_ date fat chicks because I can do no better. I just mean that in a very different way.



dang straight, this is a very intelligent post, anyone who would be so shallow to say such a rude thing to another person would not understand that kind of response, leaving them looking like the ignorant wanker they prolly are. There is no better, there was no better and will be no better.


----------



## Olga_NYC (Jul 23, 2008)

That is such an awful statement to make. I am not a BBW but I just broke up with someone who's always made me feel as though he was with me because he couldn't really get anyone else. 

I would go to his Myspace to find out he was hitting on others. I often found him pretending to be single. He was basically "keeping his options open" while with me. 

Although I'm not sure whether I'm not his type or he's just a sick individual. One of those people who can't be monogamous. I think he was just sick like that, cause he didn't seem to have a type, would just go for any woman


----------



## CleverBomb (Jul 23, 2008)

(Post by washburn)
(Quotes NFA: )
Actually, I do date fat chicks because I can do no better. I just mean that in a very different way.
(end quote)
dang straight, this is a very intelligent post, anyone who would be so shallow to say such a rude thing to another person would not understand that kind of response, leaving them looking like the ignorant wanker they prolly are. There is no better, there was no better and will be no better.
(end post)

Couldn't have said it better myself.

-Rusty


----------



## dreistein (Jul 23, 2008)

Thats it. There isnt any better thing. No way.


----------



## crosseyedhamster (Jul 23, 2008)

One of my best friends was, for the longest time, convince that I was "stuck" dating fat girls or that I "could do better" and it took me just directly saying to him that I like fat girls for him to get it. and he still gives me crap about it but now I just look at him and calmly ask him how many girls he's ever gone out with (none). 

What really gets to me is the inconsistency. If I told my buddies that I liked Asian girls (which I do), or black girls (which I do), or small breasts over larger breasts (they just gotta be nice), or asses over breasts (which I do), they'd just shrug their shoulders and say "it's not what I like, but okay", but when I tell them I like fat girls they all say "why?" or they tell me that I can do better.

If you're gonna be open-minded about your friends' tastes then... how about you do it?


----------



## UncannyBruceman (Jul 23, 2008)

wrestlingguy said:


> Just an observation, and this is by no means a slam at anyone who has posted recently in this thread or countless others of late, but have you all noticed how many threads from years ago are being resurrected?



I was going to ask the same question, but this thread is actually WORTH bringing back, so I'm going to share my thoughts (I've probably already post a response somewhere buried in the several pages from 2 years ago, but whatever).

"You can't do any better" is something I had to deal a lot with when I was younger, or at least my variation was pretty close. The common statement used to be "you're a good-looking kid, you can do a lot better than that 350lb blonde you were hitting on earlier tonight". And that would come from friends, relatives, total strangers, whatever.

No one ever really made fun of me, but the comments were getting to be too much and I started biting back when I was around 21 or 22. My boiling point came on when a friend of mine, who used to be 150lbs heavier, pulled me aside and near about gave a lecture about my lack of standards. In short, she still carried many fat-related insecurities despite being thin and couldn't understand how or why I would want to hook up with the fattest girl in the room, drunk or otherwise. We happen to have a number of mutual gay friends, and my response (verbatim) to her was simply "if I was gay and liked sucking dicks, would you have a problem with it?"

She said "no", and I then replied with "then don't give me any shit about fat girls, either, because this is just who I am".

I felt empowered like you can't believe when I said that to her, and she never brought it up again...nor did I hear it from any of my friends from that point on. I still had to hear it from my parents from time to time and I eventually posed the same question. With my parents as ignorant as they are, they'd be much happier seeing a 400+lb Melissa than they would be with seeing a dude.

And it just kind of blossomed from there; my being an FA is no secret to anyone. My drinking buddies at the regular weekend stomping ground all know what I am and they've grown to be quite supportive of it. Some girls even think it's sexy, and they're THIN. 

America has become a lot more accepting of differences since I've been born...same sex relationships are okay, May/December relationships are okay, and bi-racial relationships are okay. But for some reason, fat relationships are not, and my advice to any person who struggles with comments like this is to simply take a stand like I did and let the world know that this is what we WANT, and not 'the best we think we can do'. It may not change the way EVERYONE thinks about you, but it'll feel damn good.


----------



## LillyBBBW (Jul 23, 2008)

wrestlingguy said:


> Just an observation, and this is by no means a slam at anyone who has posted recently in this thread or countless others of late, but have you all noticed how many threads from years ago are being resurrected?
> 
> It's kinda like watching TV druing the summer, and catching all of the re-runs, but your friends are asking you if you caught the latest episode of such and such, and you saw it months ago.
> 
> I worry that we are running out of cool things to discuss. I hope not.



Everytime someone new comes along and posts a FAQ there's always someone to let them know that somebody already posted about it in 2004 along with a link. So now before asking, "Where's Brooke?" people begin to dig to see if someone already asked. Sometimes an old thread long since forgotten gets revived.


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