# where were all the FAs when...



## lipmixgirl (Apr 13, 2008)

i was in my late teens and early 20's?!?!?!?!

is it just me, bbws and bhms, or did we somehow miss out on them due to the pre-internet age...

ladies and gents, bbws - bhms - and fas, feel free to chime in... let me know your thoughts....


does anyone have a time-turner? anyone? anyone?

::sigh::


the big apple has spoken...
::exeunt:: :bow:


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## sweet&fat (Apr 13, 2008)

Ah, couldn't agree with you more! During my teen years and college days, I was the biggest person I knew and had yet to meet a true FA. And I was so much smaller than now! Crazy. And it's not just dating- it's so much easier to dress well with internet clothing options! 




lipmixgirl said:


> i was in my late teens and early 20's?!?!?!?!
> 
> is it just me, bbws and bhms, or did we somehow miss out on them due to the pre-internet age...
> 
> ...


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## MsGreenLantern (Apr 13, 2008)

Hell, I didn't know FAs existed until I was 22 and I was on the internet since I was 12! _Still_ haven't met an 'out of the closet' one in person yet. Unless you straight out type in "fat women" or something and weed out the porn sights, it's still not easy for teens and college age girls to find websites like this one, or a supportive community for people of size.


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## Tragdor (Apr 13, 2008)

I hadn't reached puberty during that time period. 

I really didn't even know I was an FA until about 1999 or 2000, and even then I was a middle schooler.


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## Haunted (Apr 13, 2008)

Back then i was SO In the closet And i wish now I was out, Life would be so much easier if I had admitted being an FA back then Finally admitting to myself that I love A Big woman has been amazingly freeing but i thing it may have complicated alot of things at this point in my life also.

Muah to all the Big Beautiful Ladies of the world


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## liz (di-va) (Apr 13, 2008)

Do we really think fat people never got laid before (say) 1995?

(I dunno, I didn't.)

It can't be that simple. It just can't. Everyone thinks they invented sex and no one did. At the verrrrrrrry least: NAAFA was founded in 1969. And yet...

This eternal conversation is starting to make me feel like I want to go back to grad school in sociology or history and find the fuck out!

I think it's really complicated. I think sex has changed for everybody. Social interactions have changed for everybody. FA is a label predicated on sexual preference...America's never very comfortable with that. And it's a self-identified one to boot. I honestly think we should see this site as the tip of an iceberg. Many many people never -- even with the net -- feel the need to slap on that label.

Having said that...no clue what my life would look like without all this! Really don't know.


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## Gingembre (Apr 13, 2008)

MsGreenLantern said:


> Hell, I didn't know FAs existed until I was 22 and I was on the internet since I was 12! _Still_ haven't met an 'out of the closet' one in person yet. Unless you straight out type in "fat women" or something and weed out the porn sights, it's still not easy for teens and college age girls to find websites like this one, or a supportive community for people of size.



This exactly! Where are all the FAs near me?! I'm a-looking but they seem to be hiding! Lol! Either that or the only 2 there are are the 2 i've already dated! :doh:


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## BeckaBoo (Apr 13, 2008)

Gingembre said:


> This exactly! Where are all the FAs near me?! I'm a-looking but they seem to be hiding! Lol! Either that or the only 2 there are are the 2 i've already dated! :doh:



Haha, oh Ginge there are none up round here, well i hear there maybe one in like one over in Cumbria some where, i dunno...

Obviously the intertubes has opened up a whole new world of communication and possibilities to meet people with specific sexual preferences....I guess the web plays a big part in things. 

I, like MsGreenLantern didn't know about the FA thing till maybe 2/3 years ago (God bless ya Dimensions), and i also have never met a closet-free one in real life. 
The only open FAs i have chatted to have been on the Internet, which has been a mostly good experience...
Well that's till you meet one you like and they are living like 5000 miles away, that bit kinda blows.


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## MsGreenLantern (Apr 13, 2008)

BeckaBoo said:


> The only open FAs i have chatted to have been on the Internet, which has been a mostly good experience...
> Well that's till you meet one you like and they are living like 5000 miles away, that bit kinda blows.



Isn't that the truth! It's really sad for me especially, since I share a car with my roomy. It makes it all but impossible to do any traveling.  But at least we do have the DIMs now to even know they're around!


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## ripley (Apr 13, 2008)

Where are they NOW? lol


(Real flesh-and-blood ones, not the internet variety.)


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## olwen (Apr 13, 2008)

I managed to hook up a few times in my late teens and early 20's. Actually now that I think about it, I met more people -before- the internet took off. The only thing the internet has done for me really is increase the frequency with which they happen.


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## lipmixgirl (Apr 13, 2008)

Nota Bene- just to be clear - i wasn't suggesting fat sex, necessarily... i was just talking about men and women who find the fat body attractive, interested in freely admitting so, and associating with fatties....


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## olwen (Apr 13, 2008)

Oh that's a different animal. No, those kinds of guys were not around in my younger days at all by any means.


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## Webmaster (Apr 13, 2008)

> is it just me, bbws and bhms, or did we somehow miss out on them due to the pre-internet age...



Well, between 1986 and 1993 I was on Sally Jessy Raphael, Phil Donahue, Geraldo and several other shows many times telling the world about FAs, size acceptance, and Dimensions.


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## olwen (Apr 13, 2008)

I don't have too many memories of watching any of those shows.


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## TotallyReal (Apr 13, 2008)

I've been totally open about digging fat girls since 16 or so, which made for an interesting high school experience. I was also class president, and pretty well-respected in terms of not-getting-made-fun-of, so I guess initially people thought I was being insincere and ironic when I asked out a cute fat girl in my history class, but then, when it became readily apparent that I was really into her, most people were too shy to actually try to taunt me. (It helps that I'm pretty loud.)

Then, in college, I was sitting around the dorms very early in my freshman year with some other guys, and we got to talking about what we liked in a girl. I had been messing around with a really thin cheerleader type, and someone asked me if that was what I normally went for. Without pausing, I said, "No, I actually normally prefer fat girls." Again, everyone laughed, thinking I was just being sarcastic, but after I assured them that I wasn't, they tried to clarify it. It was pretty awesome.

"You mean, like thick girls?"
"No dude, fat girls."
"Ha ha, really?"
"Yeah, I just like the body type more."
"I don't get it."
"Well, you know how you see a girl sometimes and think, 'She'd be perfect if she lost 30 pounds?' Well I think she's perfect."

I think most of the guys in the room were really uncomfortable after that -- which was fine by me. They'd occasionally tease me about it, but never maliciously. And -- surprise, surprise! -- two of them later in college would admit to me (drunkenly, both times) that they totally agreed with me, but they just felt awkward about it.

So maybe that's a clue? They're around, but most guys in college don't have the cojones to admit to liking the fuller (or fatter) figure.


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## ekmanifest (Apr 13, 2008)

Webmaster said:


> Well, between 1986 and 1993 I was on Sally Jessy Raphael, Phil Donahue, Geraldo and several other shows many times telling the world about FAs, size acceptance, and Dimensions.



I remember seeing those shows in my early 20s, but I don't think I was ready to hear or believe that men could actually be attracted to me as I was (which was then about 170 pounds - HA!). 

I'm of the, "I don't believe it until I see it" philosophy - so really didn't believe this existed until I met my first FA . . . which was just a year ago. Then found Dimensions. 

So, it took until I was 40 - oh well, maybe I wasn't ready for it until then.


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## bmann0413 (Apr 13, 2008)

I don't think I was born... If I was, I was just a young kid, growing into my FAness... I'm like a FA Jedi! lol


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## bbwlibrarian (Apr 13, 2008)

I knew about FAs in high school and encountered a couple who wanted a "closeted" relationship because they were too embarassed to actually be seen in public with me as their girlfriend...and then they learned that I wasn't going to put up with that. It wasn't until January of this year (at age 24) that I met a wonderful FA in the flesh who isn't ashamed to be one. As one might expect, said FA is currently my boyfriend. So, yes, I understand the problem quite well.

I think a lot of it has to do with age group, maturity, and level of personal acceptance of one's own preferences. The internet and other sources have helped guys realize that their preferences are OK and are not abnormal.


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## prettysteve (Apr 13, 2008)

sweet&fat said:


> Ah, couldn't agree with you more! During my teen years and college days, I was the biggest person I knew and had yet to meet a true FA. And I was so much smaller than now! Crazy. And it's not just dating- it's so much easier to dress well with internet clothing options!



Miss Sweet&Fat : I apologize for not being around during your college & teen years. Unfortunately I was too scared to let the big girls like yourself know that I liked them due to rejection.But now I am ready to make up for lost time by showing you gorgeous ladies some real BBW loving along with some hugging.Big girls really rock my world!!!! From your chocolate colored phat admirer:Steve


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## Jon Blaze (Apr 13, 2008)

I was 10. LOL
(No, but two to three years after that, I got "Converted" by a certain girl. )


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## LoveBHMS (Apr 13, 2008)

Jon Blaze said:


> I was 10. LOL
> (No, but two to three years after that, I got "Converted" by a certain girl. )




"Converted"

So obvious there is a good story here.


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## missy_blue_eyez (Apr 13, 2008)

I must admit, until I discovered this little community I thought I was more or less screwed with regards to how my relationships were going to turn out. I thought the only men I was going to meet were ones who liked me inspite of me being fat......this little community has made me realise that I shouldnt view it that way any longer and nobody should just settle with someone who has 'inspite of' complex (if that makes sense) 

I think if I had discovered FA's earlier I wouldnt be the person I am now, I think it has all come at the right time for me. Ive had my relationships with the 'normal' 'inspite of' men and now I am ready to move forward and try things out with the 'because of' men hehe. Granted the few FA's I have met so far have been interesting......all Dims users but all so very different. 

But I do understand what your getting at, its like 'OMFG there were none of you and now theres a whole t'interweb full of fat loving sexy people' lol. Agreed with Beckaboo.....unfortunately the downside is knowing my luck I end up finding one that I like living a gazzillion miles away!!! lol 

Such is life aye! We cant have EVERYTHING... or can we?? lol


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## missy_blue_eyez (Apr 13, 2008)

TotallyReal said:


> "Well, you know how you see a girl sometimes and think, 'She'd be perfect if she lost 30 pounds?' Well I think she's perfect."



Awwwww I love that line!!!!! Thats just a bit too cute! hehe:wubu:


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## fatgirlflyin (Apr 13, 2008)

I was exposed to the term BBW and the whole Fat Admirers thing when I first got online. I think I was about 22 years old, I'm now 33. I never really had a problem with finding members of either sex that were attracted to me. We just didn't put a label on it, so I guess that's the only difference the internets made for me. Its given me labels, oh joy.


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## bbwlibrarian (Apr 13, 2008)

missy_blue_eyez said:


> I thought the only men I was going to meet were ones who liked me inspite of me being fat......this little community has made me realise that I shouldnt view it that way any longer and nobody should just settle with someone who has 'inspite of' complex (if that makes sense)



I understand this too well. My college boyfriend was one of those 'in spite of' guys. I'm NEVER doing that again! I (and everyone else here at Dims) am worth so much more than that. I don't have to go into just how demeaning it is to realize that your significant other would rather be with someone else. For this reason, it is such a shame that a good portion of FAs only openly-pursue on the internet. Is this perhaps due to fear of rejection IRL? Let's face it, fellow BBWs: if we get 'hit on' IRL, most of us think the guy is playing some cruel joke, especially if we're young and recognize this kind of torture from our high school days.


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## Jasminium (Apr 13, 2008)

To this day I still dont know where the fas are. In fact, Im beginning to think theyre mythical creatures that only exist on the internet.


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## missy_blue_eyez (Apr 13, 2008)

Jasminium said:


> To this day I still dont know where the fas are. In fact, Im beginning to think theyre mythical creatures that only exist on the internet.


Agreed! To my knowledge...all the men whom Ive met 'IRL' havent been 'FA's'. Or maybe they have but just havent revealed it to me! I shall never know!


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## Paquito (Apr 13, 2008)

Good topic, im sure a fellow of us BHMs had the same reaction (omgtheresgirlsdatlikemeformahbodynotinspiteofit), but the point is that we know it now, and the healing can begin

brothas and sistas join hands, sing Hallelujah!:bow::bow:


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## Webmaster (Apr 13, 2008)

missy_blue_eyez said:


> ...knowing my luck I end up finding one that I like living a gazzillion miles away!!!



That is not necessarily an obstacle. I grew up in Switzerland and have followed my heart ever since. That has worked out just fine, whatever the initial distance.


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## soleil3313 (Apr 13, 2008)

bbwlibrarian said:


> *Let's face it, fellow BBWs: if we get 'hit on' IRL, most of us think the guy is playing some cruel joke, especially if we're young and recognize this kind of torture from our high school days.*



I completely agree with you on this....if a guy comes up and starts chatting me up I can't help but think..."does he really like me or is there some hidden camera somewhere waiting for me to get all googly eyed and then someone will jump out and say ha ha! stupid girl! did you _really think he be interested in you?????_"

_Finding Dimensions though has really helped and meeting the people I have so far has helped a lot....I still believe there's someone our there for everyone....if that's what you're lookin for......I'm just crossin my fingers (but not holding my breath)._

Come on FA's get out IRL let's show this world a thing or two!!!


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## Mr Happy (Apr 14, 2008)

took me ages to figure out I was an FA I can think of several outstanding BBW's that I missed out on because I didn't have the confidence to pursue them. When I did realise I was an FA there was no way of meeting bigger girls. I tried but I just never met many in the bars and clubs I went to as a youth. The internet has opened so much up for FA's I think. There seems to be so many channels to meet BBW's


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## Ned Sonntag (Apr 14, 2008)

There are some scattered kool BBWs and one, maybe two other DIMENSIONeers living here on the peninsula but it's amazingly slim pickin's for one of the first media-active FAs(me) from back when NAAFA viewed FAs with great suspicion...('76). Anyway Walter Brooks who runs the site I blog on... finally acceded to my wheedling and created a Personals section this weekend and the Nedster set up Personal Numero Uno. http://www.capecodtoday.com/index.php?module=Classifieds&func=viewads&browse=&sort=6&offset=0 Maybe I'll get lucky as soon as the weather clears up and the SummerPeople start filtering in... :blink:


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## Filly (Apr 14, 2008)

Before I signed up to this site and a few other related sites I had heard about FAs but never really thought it was common. Obviously there are a lot of people out there who prefer larger lovers... but I have never personally met any. Not anyone who was open about it anyway.

BBWLibrarian is probably right to a degree... I sometimes find myself questioning peoples motives.


Where are the Aussie FAs? Someone tell me!


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## sweet&fat (Apr 14, 2008)

prettysteve said:


> Miss Sweet&Fat : I apologize for not being around during your college & teen years. Unfortunately I was too scared to let the big girls like yourself know that I liked them due to rejection.But now I am ready to make up for lost time by showing you gorgeous ladies some real BBW loving along with some hugging.Big girls really rock my world!!!! From your chocolate colored phat admirer:Steve



Apology accepted, but it really was unfair of you to keep your cuteness away from us lovely ladies! Glad to see you came around.


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## MsGreenLantern (Apr 14, 2008)

Webmaster said:


> That is not necessarily an obstacle. I grew up in Switzerland and have followed my heart ever since. That has worked out just fine, whatever the initial distance.



I would move for love in a heartbeat if myself and a guy fell mutually in love. Its already been 4 moves in 2 years, might as well do it for a more fulfilling reason than college changes. I'm a bit of a romantic. Love Knows no Limits, Love knows no bounds. Right on.


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## Mini (Apr 14, 2008)

Let's see, it's only been in recent years that I've dated at all, let alone dated big women. I'm only 23!


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## Surlysomething (Apr 14, 2008)

I always had the older guys loving my chunky bustiness.

In all honesty, I had so much shit going on with my family life that I couldn't handle the very notion of someone being into me. I HATED my teens.

I look back at pictures of myself then and I was the perfect size and shape. Healthy and sporty. The other girls were just crazy thin. Thanks Kate Moss.


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## JayInBuff (Apr 14, 2008)

The internet has definitely opened up avenues to pursue women that are larger. I think every online dating site has body type as a choice. There have been many BBW I have met IRL but was too shy to ask out. I guess I assumed that bigger girls liked bigger guys. Until the internet, I didn't know of anyone like me that preferred larger women. I thought there was something wrong with me and I was ashamed. But thanks to the internet, besides all the BBW porn  , I am much more comfortable with what I find attractive and telling other people that I love fat chicks.:happy:


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## Tad (Apr 14, 2008)

Well, I was much to shy and lacking in romantic confidence to approach girls at all. I know this because although I knew I preferred bigger girls & women, there was always a minority of thin women whom I also found attractive, and I had no real nerve for approaching them either. 

Of the more or less relationships I’ve had, in two the woman made the first key move in some way, in the other we spent months slowly circling closer and closer to each other, neither of us ever quite saying or doing anything to make us officially a couple, and then I suddenly ended up moving away and we’d wasted all that possible time together. Before those a couple of other girls had made overtures which I pretty much fled from in sheer confusion and panic. It wasn’t until I was nearly done university that I had anything like the confidence to handle a relationship close to properly. I was a pretty slow developer, emotionally. (roam around Europe on my own at sixteen or seventeen? No problem. Admit that I'd like to kiss someone? No way!)

I admit that I didn’t tell people that I preferred fatter forms, but then again I didn’t say much at all about what and who I found attractive. I went through some basic motions to keep people off my case, but just was not emotionally ready to date, no matter how crazy my hormones were driving me. As a result I really tried to stay off the subject for the most part.

So in my case, back in the eighties I knew I was an FA (without knowing that term), but I wasn’t mature enough for that to really matter.

ETA: In hindsight, probably best that I didn't date much back in my youth, because with the lack of emotional maturity the odds of hurting someone were probably high.


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## superodalisque (Apr 14, 2008)

i'm not sure. but where i grew up in the south and i felt that more FAs were out. i remember an FA who spent lots of time squeezing my legs during the mayday celebration we had in 5th grade. purple suspendered hotpants will do it everytime. and there was also a bully who used to chase me around and give me food that he stole from other people lol. neither made any bones about their attraction. i wonder what the little guys in middle school are doing now. 

i sometimes wonder if the internet allows people to hide more by allowing people to get secret gratification through artificial means. so those people who are really cowardly might find it easy to stay in the closet. i know that sounds harsh but thats how i look at it. 

but then again i also know that it has had a great effect. a lot of younger people have had the access and exposure to different ideas that allow people not to feel so alone in their beliefs. dating etc... wasn't that big of a deal for a fat girl. as long as you took care of yourself as a young woman you could date.


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## soleil3313 (Apr 14, 2008)

OK, question for all of us FA's and BBW's then...

Online, we can obviously be who we are and not have to feel any repercussions or dirty looks from those who would think us either less desirable, or "different." With that in mind.... 

Do you do a lot of online dating?

Does it make you more comfortable finding someone online than IRL, because you've been able to feel them out before meeting?

Do you feel like you're being forced to look online because you can't find what you're looking for IRL?

I know internet dating is becoming more and more popular, but I'm just not convinced yet....what do you guys think?


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## olwen (Apr 14, 2008)

To answer your questions Soleil:

Do you do a lot of online dating? These days I do all of my dating online

Does it make you more comfortable finding someone online than IRL, because you've been able to feel them out before meeting?No, I think it would be better to meet in real life because I can get a better first impression and I wouldn't have to meet them twice so to speak.

Do you feel like you're being forced to look online because you can't find what you're looking for IRL?Yeah. If my social circle were bigger - as it used to be - then I would have better chances.

I know internet dating is becoming more and more popular, but I'm just not convinced yet....what do you guys think? You can definitely meet people. You just have to be more vigilant about separating jerks and crazy people from genuine ones. But that doesn't just apply to fat folks or FA's. My skinny friends are doing all their dating online too and we all seem to have the same problem finding people who are not uber neurotic or dishonest.


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## Littleghost (Apr 14, 2008)

olwen said:


> I don't have too many memories of watching any of those shows.



I do! Although sadly those videos got taped over too many times.


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## Al Diggy (Apr 14, 2008)

i think that due to the pressures of society, alot of people were, and still are, afraid to be themselves and show the world they are indeed FAs...guys, when growing up, are practically force fed that a thin woman is the staple of beauty...and this, as we all know, couldn't be further from the truth...however, guys tend to be afraid of ridicule, laughter, and being the brunt of the "you like the fat girl" jokes...on a personal level, i've loved bbws as far as i can remember, and i have been the victim of an incredible amount of insults, ridicule, etc., and this from society, as well as, so-called "friends", and even family...however, i refused to buckle to what the world wanted me to like or be attracted to, and i think i'm a stronger person for it...i KNOW i am a happier one!! i think the FAs were out there, and still are, but, are still, in a lot of instances, afraid to shout it out to the world, in particular, their immediate social circles...great things like Dimensions, and the numerous parties, events, and bashes are definitely safe havens for FAs, and bbws, but, we can't stop there...we must go out and show mainstream society what we already know...that we are all beautiful, intelligent, and able to contribute to society, and most of all, be respected...


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## sugar and spice (Apr 14, 2008)

Webmaster said:


> Well, between 1986 and 1993 I was on Sally Jessy Raphael, Phil Donahue, Geraldo and several other shows many times telling the world about FAs, size acceptance, and Dimensions.



Yes You were, I saw you on Geraldo and it was because of that I joined NAAFA. and became a member of this whole community. I was about 25 at the time and I am so grateful I happened to be watching Geraldo that day because it absolutely changed my life for the better. Thank You Conrad.


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## bbwlibrarian (Apr 14, 2008)

To answer these questions:


soleil3313 said:


> Do you do a lot of online dating?


My only serious attempt to find a date online was through my local Craigslist, and that was quite successful. But, should I need to find dates again in the future, it's a medium I'd consider.



soleil3313 said:


> Does it make you more comfortable finding someone online than IRL, because you've been able to feel them out before meeting?


Definitely. Being a librarian, I looked up my boyfriend before I even met him. I realize that sounds creepy, but it was worth being able to note that he was a sweet guy, and a real FA to boot. Our online conversations and emails, while not as long and drawn out as those trying to date long-distance would be, really gave me a sense of the kind of person I was going to meet. As such, while our first date was a bit nerve-wracking (for reasons aside from incompatibility--we both got bad cases of first-date nerves), the second date was 1000 times better, i.e. awesome . 



soleil3313 said:


> Do you feel like you're being forced to look online because you can't find what you're looking for IRL?


As I mentioned earlier in this thread, I tend to question people's motives when they approach me IRL. So, perhaps it's not an issue of not finding what I want IRL, but rather the lacking level of success an initial RL encounter would have.



soleil3313 said:


> I know internet dating is becoming more and more popular, but I'm just not convinced yet....what do you guys think?


My verdict is that it's worth it. I know a lot of people of all sizes who have had success finding local people through the internet, and I'm just one example of how it can work. Just note that Craigslist isn't exactly the best place to try to find someone serious about starting a relationship. I got 10 times as many fuck buddy/NSA encounter requests as I did serious dating inquiries.


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## The Orange Mage (Apr 14, 2008)

Many would think that I was closeted in my high school years, but I was just terribly shy, picky, and mopey for about 2 years following a breakup.

And once I got over I got into another, waaayyyy better relationship.

So, uhh, sorry ladies. Especially that short one with the huge hips whose name I never learned. Damnit.

Oh well.


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## bmann0413 (Apr 14, 2008)

Well, I'm outed IRL, buuuuuut most girls I know think I'm just a weirdo....


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## soleil3313 (Apr 14, 2008)

Al Diggy said:


> *however, i refused to buckle to what the world wanted me to like or be attracted to, and i think i'm a stronger person for it...i KNOW i am a happier one!! *i think the FAs were out there, and still are, but, are still, in a lot of instances, afraid to shout it out to the world, in particular, their immediate social circles...great things like Dimensions, and the numerous parties, events, and bashes are definitely safe havens for FAs, and bbws, but, we can't stop there...we must go out and show mainstream society what we already know...that we are all beautiful, intelligent, and able to contribute to society, and most of all, be respected...



And I can't blame all you wonderful, handsome, sweet, kind, funny, (should I go on) FA's for feeling like you aren't normal, but let me tell you (and I'm only speaking for myself here, but I'm sure plenty of ladies here would agree) we want to meet you! Don't be shy!! :wubu:

And to you Al....congrats to you for being you no matter what, it takes an incredibly strong person to stand up to everyone who tells you you're wrong....very cool


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## soleil3313 (Apr 14, 2008)

Thanks for your replies Olwen and Bbwlibrarian.....I really appreciate your sincere responses. It's great to hear other points of view. You just have to weigh the bad and the good I suppose, like with everything in life....but you're giving me hope for this internet thing! Maybe all is not lost!! LOL


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## Al Diggy (Apr 14, 2008)

bmann0413 said:


> Well, I'm outed IRL, buuuuuut most girls I know think I'm just a weirdo....



hey man, good for u...and as for the girls that think ur a weirdo, i don't have to tell u that they don't have a clue! maybe one day, they will look at u as a strong individual for not being a follower of what society wants u to think or feel, as they obviously are...


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## Al Diggy (Apr 14, 2008)

soleil3313 said:


> And I can't blame all you wonderful, handsome, sweet, kind, funny, (should I go on) FA's for feeling like you aren't normal, but let me tell you (and I'm only speaking for myself here, but I'm sure plenty of ladies here would agree) we want to meet you! Don't be shy!! :wubu:
> 
> And to you Al....congrats to you for being you no matter what, it takes an incredibly strong person to stand up to everyone who tells you you're wrong....very cool




thank you very much, and yes, its been a hard road, and still is at times, but, i won't ever let it change me, or what i like, and will always be attracted to...


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## JayInBuff (Apr 15, 2008)

soleil3313 said:


> OK, question for all of us FA's and BBW's then...
> 
> Online, we can obviously be who we are and not have to feel any repercussions or dirty looks from those who would think us either less desirable, or "different." With that in mind....



Do you do a lot of online dating?

Not since I've been married  . But that is how I did date and would in the future.

Does it make you more comfortable finding someone online than IRL, because you've been able to feel them out before meeting?

In my experience it is the best way. You can get to know someone a little before you even meet them. Not just what they look like.

Do you feel like you're being forced to look online because you can't find what you're looking for IRL?

I just think its hard to find someone IRL. Where to you meet them? Are they single? Are they interested in you? Do their interests match yours? All of this is resolved quickly online.

I know internet dating is becoming more and more popular, but I'm just not convinced yet....what do you guys think?

I met my wife online. It was through yahoo personals back when it was free.


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## wrench13 (Apr 15, 2008)

I have always dated/lived with/married fat women. High school, college, grad school, work.... You name it. Back in the day, it was actually hard to find you ladies. And when I did, it was like "Wow, Wow Wow!" (BSEG) :eat2:

As far as the internet style FA, who professes to be into big women, if ya ain't proud to have her on your arm, you don't deserve her! 

Just my opinion; your experience may differ.


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## BothGunsBlazing (Apr 15, 2008)

Been dating fat girls since I ever started dating. I remember the first girl in middle school I ever had a crush on. I was like 12yrs old and she was in my homeroom period. 

Yeah, so, during the pledge of allegience when she put her hand on her heart, it would cause her shirt to ride up on one side and reveal some love handle action aka the highlight of my day each and every day.

I finally asked her out one day and yeah, I got a lot of shit for it, but it was totally worth it to go see Titanic at the theater just so I could sit there and hold her hand while simultaneously feeling her hanging over onto my side of the armrest. 

Even when I was younger I realized that if I was going to get messed with and teased and picked on it was going to be for something I truly wanted and was passionate about, because as has been noted before, people will always find something to rip on some one else about, if it's not one thing it's another. I just chose the best thing eva!


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## snuggletiger (Apr 15, 2008)

I have always been me and always been where I have been


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## butch (Apr 15, 2008)

I had a fair number of boys like me in elementary school, even as I was one of the 2 fattest girls in my grade. I think only one of them was a true FA, because after we broke up in 6th grade, he dated other fat girls. One night in the roller rink, a girl who went to his school told me that he had moved on to some 'fat girl, much bigger than you' and thus I first had an inkling of the wonderful world of FAness.

I also dated a fat boy in 6th grade, and that did not go well. We barely saw each other, and our conversations were so painfully nonexistant that it was a relief to break up with him. And there were the boys in 5th grade who liked me because we could talk about sports and monsters together. 

Too bad my skills with the boys dried up around age 12. For some reason fat tomboys just weren't turning their heads anymore by the time the boys reach adolescence .


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## love dubh (Apr 15, 2008)

butch said:


> I had a fair number of boys like me in elementary school, even as I was one of the 2 fattest girls in my grade. I think only one of them was a true FA, because after we broke up in 6th grade, he dated other fat girls. One night in the roller rink, a girl who went to his school told me that he had moved on to some 'fat girl, much bigger than you' and thus I first had an inkling of the wonderful world of FAness.
> 
> I also dated a fat boy in 6th grade, and that did not go well. We barely saw each other, and our conversations were so painfully nonexistant that it was a relief to break up with him. And there were the boys in 5th grade who liked me because we could talk about sports and monsters together.
> 
> Too bad my skills with the boys dried up around age 12. For some reason fat tomboys just weren't turning their heads anymore by the time the boys reach adolescence .



Maybe you need to start talking about sports and monsters some more. Guys like that.


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## butch (Apr 15, 2008)

love dubh said:


> Maybe you need to start talking about sports and monsters some more. Guys like that.



lol, I still do, but guys aren't interested in women's basketball and women's soccer too much. 

But I'll give it a try.


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## missy_blue_eyez (Apr 15, 2008)

BothGunsBlazing said:


> Yeah, so, during the pledge of allegience when she put her hand on her heart, it would cause *her shirt to ride up on one side and reveal some love handle action aka the highlight of my day each and every day.*
> 
> I finally asked her out one day and yeah, I got a lot of shit for it, but it was totally worth it to go see Titanic at the theater just so I could sit there and hold her hand while *simultaneously feeling her hanging over onto my side of the armrest.*
> 
> ...


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## TallFatSue (Apr 15, 2008)

butch said:


> For some reason fat tomboys just weren't turning their heads anymore by the time the boys reach adolescence .


I was something of a fat tomboy too, not so much into sports, but I was one of the more assertive girls in my class. I morphed into a friendly wise ass in high school in the 1970s and always had lotsa friends. I had a few boyfriends too, but they seemed to like me either because I was fat ("you'd look so beautiful if you gained 100lb") or in spite of it ("you'd look so beautiful if you lost 100lb"). I knew there were boys who liked fat girls but I hadn't heard the term Fat Admirer at the time. The funny thing is that I tended to gravitate toward those who liked me in spite of my fat, because they liked me for me, even if I didn't fit their idea of feminine beauty. The fat lovers tended to objectify me. Thank goodness in my university days I found myself on a collision course with a guy who liked me so much that was willing to learn everything he could about this beguiling feminine attribute known as obesity, and embrace it every chance he could. :smitten:


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## Zandoz (Apr 15, 2008)

From a fat guy who's been fat almost all of his 51+ years, if I were to only go on my personal experience, I'd still have to say that FFAs are mythical beings. I've been a FA for as long as I can remember, but I must admit to not being very open about it until my late 20s or early 30s...in part as a function of perceived potential peer pressure, but more so as a matter of not allowing my self to think in terms of any kind of a relationship with any woman, regardless of size, due in large part to my appearance <shrug>. When I did finally open up to at least the remote possibility of a relationship, it was due to encounters online, where the first impressin was not physical.


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## sweet&fat (Apr 15, 2008)

So adorable! A lil' FA! 



BothGunsBlazing said:


> Been dating fat girls since I ever started dating. I remember the first girl in middle school I ever had a crush on. I was like 12yrs old and she was in my homeroom period.
> 
> Yeah, so, during the pledge of allegience when she put her hand on her heart, it would cause her shirt to ride up on one side and reveal some love handle action aka the highlight of my day each and every day.
> 
> ...


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## mossystate (Apr 15, 2008)

BothGunsBlazing said:


> Yeah, so, during the pledge of allegience when she put her hand on her heart, it would cause her shirt to ride up on one side and reveal some love handle action aka the highlight of my day each and every day.
> !



Shame on you! The POA is to be said in an atmosphere of great dignity. Oh, wait, it's said at sporting events..nevermind..you are good

I was not fat in my teens/early 20's, so I never had personal experience, but, thinking back on other girls and the boys who liked them, I certainly saw boys who very much liked fat girls. I guess that is how so many things in life works..being on the outside can lend a better ' eye ' to the situation.

* opens all blinds... reaches for that can on the top shelf *....I pledge allegiance, to the flag....


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## Maxx Awesome (Apr 15, 2008)

Tsch...
Here I was wondering where the hell all the fat women were when I was at school. Then I realized it was an all-boys school & it explained alot...


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 15, 2008)

QUOTE:soleil3313 OK, question for all of us FA's and BBW's then...


Do you do a lot of online dating?

I have done "some"...that means that I develop few truly romantic relationships from the net. I have met a couple of guys from the net that were interested in more than simple friendship....but due to their age differences, not much came out of those. 
The ones my own age? Every effing one of them....married. Holy Crap...no wonder I have a bad taste in my mouth 
There was one guy a couple of years ago that I would have liked to have more of a future with but that wasn't in the cards.....we don't even chat anymore.  *broken heart* 
Most of the guys on the net that I talk to regularly are pretty much just "e-friends"...even those that really are interested in more mainly due to distance. The flattering words, good convos and time spent together when I'm lonely is nice....but they can't replace the presence of a "real man". 

Does it make you more comfortable finding someone online than IRL, because you've been able to feel them out before meeting?

I wouldn't mind if we met online first....just find that I really have much better luck with meeting in reality....

Do you feel like you're being forced to look online because you can't find what you're looking for IRL?

Eh, sometimes...maybe. However, I find online REALLY disappointing for the most part and usually make myself get "out and about" more if I get really interested in dating again......

I know internet dating is becoming more and more popular, but I'm just not convinced yet....what do you guys think?

I haven't had any luck from dating sites- the men I have met online, I met from here, the chat or gaming lounges. The dating sites bother me for some reason....and I can't get into them. :doh:

I suspect that I have a better/stronger personality IRL and that tends to make dating in reality much easier for me..... not to mention, there is simply "more to do" IRL than online....


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## Jon Blaze (Apr 15, 2008)

LoveBHMS said:


> "Converted"
> 
> So obvious there is a good story here.



A little.

It was in Japan at middle school. Seventh grade.

I had a female friend, who was thin. She had a nice tummy. Ah hehe....
It was a bit traumatic back then, because some of my "Friends" made fun of her. They asked about her belly, and they said I was the one who wanted to know. She cried, and hated me for the rest of that year.

After that, I started to get more and more into larger women. A few months after that happened, two of my friends found out. One whom for some reason became an ally of mine fighting against the other, who was trying to embarrass me over it. I think to this day that situation was a reason that for years those two were at each others throats.

Anyway, to my surprise, the friend that was trying to embarrass me saw a video online, and I "Converted" him.  Initially I thought I was the only one, but that sparked me to not try to change things in myself. 

I just kept moving on. I never really had luck with women period, but I had one girlfriend in 9th grade (But I normally don't consider it much), and two in my senior year. All bbws. Show, not tell I suppose, but I always told people when they asked. And I was exclusive for a small moment, but I have those moments like BGB keeps describing. My eyes home in on those things like a camera. *ZOOM* lol 


Just a basic sum up. I could go on.


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## Still a Skye fan (Apr 15, 2008)

So...where are all the FAs?

First, I never knew I was one until I stumbled upon this site WAY back in 1994-95 or so...yeah, I've been here a while. I don't recall the precise year but it was fairly soon after the library where I work went online.

I went through a very small Jr/Sr High School in the early-mid 1980s and I really don't recall very many BBWs back then.

I just remember hitting puberty and suddenly being drawn to the girls who developed over the summer and came back to school heavier and curvier. I recall one gal getting bigger and bigger until I caught on that she was pregnant...hey, I was 12 or 13, what the hell did I know back then?

Okay, I do recall a couple big girls during these years. They were friends but weren't my "type". Plus I was an utter nerd in a jock heavy school...dating wasn't going to happen.

I was too damn busy during college and grad school to even think about dating, though I socialized a little bit with a couple BBWs...we were in classes together and met to work on projects.

I live in a small village in central/upstate NY and I work in a small public library. The BBWs I usually run into at work have rings on their fingers. I work with a majority of women of various ages and builds...I'm not wild about starting a relationship with a coworker but I don't hide the fact that I like larger women.

I met a nice blonde BBW on the internet and we dated a while but things didn't work out. I liked her but she didn't like me as much. ~Shrugs~

So...where am I? I'm right here. I just work in a small workplace and live in a boring little village. I'm certainly not hiding, I just haven't found the right person for me yet.


Dennis


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## ekmanifest (Apr 15, 2008)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> QUOTE:soleil3313 OK, question for all of us FA's and BBW's then...
> 
> 
> Do you do a lot of online dating?
> ...




What kind of cougar are you?  Couldn't help thinking about you when I watched Saturday Night Live this weekend with their cougar sketch . . .


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Apr 15, 2008)

ekmanifest said:


> What kind of cougar are you?  Couldn't help thinking about you when I watched Saturday Night Live this weekend with their cougar sketch . . .





Lol, a good cougar never loses her head....or heart


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## exile in thighville (Apr 15, 2008)

i've discussed this with a few people, but while i wasn't an "out" fa in high school i wasn't an "in" one either. anyone who knew me probably noticed even though it was never discussed. but all the fat girls i asked out said no while thin ones said yes. the point has been made before that some girls have the defense at the ready and aren't prepared to have someone accept themselves at that age out of the blue, and sometimes think they're the target of a practical joke.


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## olwen (Apr 15, 2008)

soleil3313 said:


> Thanks for your replies Olwen and Bbwlibrarian.....I really appreciate your sincere responses. It's great to hear other points of view. You just have to weigh the bad and the good I suppose, like with everything in life....but you're giving me hope for this internet thing! Maybe all is not lost!! LOL



It's not lost. It seems meeting on the internet is par for the course these days. Besides, life's too short to wonder about whether or not you should do something you have the means to do. I say, go for it and don't look back.


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## olwen (Apr 15, 2008)

Jon Blaze said:


> A little.
> 
> It was in Japan at middle school. Seventh grade.
> 
> ...



Sometimes you get the bear and sometimes the bear gets you. I think it's cool you lived in Japan. Konichiwa.


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## olwen (Apr 15, 2008)

exile in thighville said:


> i've discussed this with a few people, but while i wasn't an "out" fa in high school i wasn't an "in" one either. anyone who knew me probably noticed even though it was never discussed. but all the fat girls i asked out said no while thin ones said yes. the point has been made before that some girls have the defense at the ready and aren't prepared to have someone accept themselves at that age out of the blue, and sometimes think they're the target of a practical joke.



If they saw you dating the thin ones....


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## The Orange Mage (Apr 15, 2008)

olwen said:


> If they saw you dating the thin ones....



That's totally a chicken/egg kind of point, though, so who knows.


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## olwen (Apr 15, 2008)

The Orange Mage said:


> That's totally a chicken/egg kind of point, though, so who knows.



Well, if it were me and I saw you with a few thin girls and you had asked me out, I would be suspicious too. I'd wonder why you'd ask if I'd only see you with thin girls. Maybe that's what was going thru their minds when you asked. I'm not accusing you of anything bad either, just saying, that's what I would think. It probably would have taken a hell of a lot of convincing for me to believe you were being honest.


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## Gingembre (Apr 16, 2008)

Jon Blaze said:


> A little.
> 
> It was in Japan at middle school. Seventh grade.
> 
> ...



That's a nice story! I think it's cool you were in Japan too....Jon wa ginki des ka? (that's probably spelt completely wrong!)


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## chublover350 (Apr 16, 2008)

U LIVE IN CALIFORNIA!!!!!! the land of clones where everyone looks EXACTLY THE FREAKING SAME!!!!!!!!!!! aaaahhhhh and if there is a fat girl they HATE IT...*cry


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## ekmanifest (Apr 16, 2008)

chublover350 said:


> U LIVE IN CALIFORNIA!!!!!! the land of clones where everyone looks EXACTLY THE FREAKING SAME!!!!!!!!!!! aaaahhhhh and if there is a fat girl they HATE IT...*cry



That's not totally true - we have quite the group of hot, fat, confident Dimension girls in California.


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## Jon Blaze (Apr 16, 2008)

ekmanifest said:


> That's not totally true - we have quite the group of hot, fat, confident Dimension girls in California.



Oh yea! I know there's a lot of HOT big women in the lands of my birth. 

(Which is why I have to do my FA club tour after college in Cali lol )


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## James (Apr 16, 2008)

I would have liked to have known a few FAs back then too... The lack of role models or peers, or a way to make contact with them in real life was a limiting factor in my self acceptance at the time. Its wasn't easy being the only one to have a particular sexual orientation in a group.... and having to explain it to blank (and occasionally ridiculing) faces time and time again. Anything that promotes FA's getting together to understand eachother and themselves, at the earliest age possible, is a good thing IMO.

I wrote something on this for an upcoming article in a UK magazine... (you can read my draft here as long as you all pretend to act like you've not read it already once it gets published mkay?)


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## James (Apr 16, 2008)

BothGunsBlazing said:


> Been dating fat girls since I ever started dating. I remember the first girl in middle school I ever had a crush on. I was like 12yrs old and she was in my homeroom period.
> 
> Yeah, so, during the pledge of allegience when she put her hand on her heart, it would cause her shirt to ride up on one side and reveal some love handle action aka the highlight of my day each and every day.
> 
> ...


 
man... I'm gonna have to rep other people more often cos I find myself unsuccessfully clicking 'rep' for pretty much everything you post sir....

lol


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## missy_blue_eyez (Apr 16, 2008)

James said:


> I would have liked to have known a few FAs back then too... The lack of role models or peers, or a way to make contact with them in real life was a limiting factor in my self acceptance at the time. Its wasn't easy being the only one to have a particular sexual orientation in a group.... and having to explain it to blank (and occasionally ridiculing) faces time and time again. Anything that promotes FA's getting together to understand eachother and themselves, at the earliest age possible, is a good thing IMO.
> 
> I wrote something on this for an upcoming article in a UK magazine... (you can read my draft here as long as you all pretend to act like you've not read it already once it gets published mkay?)


*Applauds Mr James* bravo...loved it mate! Really inspirational! Whats the mag its going in?


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## James (Apr 16, 2008)

missy_blue_eyez said:


> *Applauds Mr James* bravo...loved it mate! Really inspirational! Whats the mag its going in?


 
I dont know the name yet... but its a new publication loosely affiliated with BGP... Sasha's written a piece for it too... but i've probably said too much already... you're gonna have to wait and see Naomi


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## missy_blue_eyez (Apr 16, 2008)

James said:


> I dont know the name yet... but its a new publication loosely affiliated with BGP... Sasha's written a piece for it too... but i've probably said too much already... you're gonna have to wait and see Naomi


With bated breath.....lol waiting....waiting...waiting *sits on hands*  hehe


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## lipmixgirl (Apr 16, 2008)

James said:


> I would have liked to have known a few FAs back then too... The lack of role models or peers, or a way to make contact with them in real life was a limiting factor in my self acceptance at the time. Its wasn't easy being the only one to have a particular sexual orientation in a group.... and having to explain it to blank (and occasionally ridiculing) faces time and time again. Anything that promotes FA's getting together to understand eachother and themselves, at the earliest age possible, is a good thing IMO.
> 
> I wrote something on this for an upcoming article in a UK magazine... (you can read my draft here as long as you all pretend to act like you've not read it already once it gets published mkay?)



James,

when am i going to meet you!???!?! incredibly thoughtful, well written, and insightful... that article needs its own thread here... in addition to the community at large, i think MANY of our closeted FAs would truly benefit from this article...

I APPROVE!

the big apple has spoken...
::exeunt:: :bow:


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## olwen (Apr 17, 2008)

James, dude, that was awesome. I'm so glad I joined this community. Reading about all the experiences you FA's have had is really informing my ideas about you all. I'm really glad you wrote this.


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## soleil3313 (Apr 17, 2008)

Great article James and kudos to you for being yourself and not giving into social pressure. The world could use a few more like you.


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## bdog (Apr 19, 2008)

Don't forget that "regular" folks can often have a hard time finding people, too. I've known plenty of people from all walks of life who have had long periods of looking for a partner.

In high school I went to a few dances but never had a serious girlfriend. I had low self esteem... and didn't really know what I liked and if I did I probably would've hid it anyway, like I hid my parents divorce, my diabetes, and other things that I thought would make me look less than perfect. If I ever have kids hopefully they'll be slightly less clueless than I was but maybe that's just how it goes at that age.

Also, two people connecting isn't about just one person being fat and another person liking that. I could be standing next to bbw but if I don't have anything to say (and I usually don't) then I'm not going to say anything. I'm just not a gregarious person like that. Maybe she's wondering why there's no FAs around 

Annnndd..... I live in a city where there's not a lot of racism, and yet the races don't mix a whole lot. There's just entrenched social differences and the "system" doesn't really promote a lot of change. I think the same could be true, to a lesser extent, about fat/thin people. There's tons of overweight people in this country, and yet almost all my female friends have been thin. Both my mom and sister are thin, and diet/exercise to stay that way, and that's just how it is where I grew up. 

There's a lot more that can be said, and studied. It's a cultural/political/social/economic phenomenon. 

Hmm... so, anyway, maybe I'll be a little more gregarious if the opportunity presents itself. But if I'm going to do that, then the ladies can't just assume that the guy they're standing next to _isn't_ an FA.


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## lipmixgirl (Apr 20, 2008)

i really didn't expect this thread to be such the success that it is!!! thanks to everyone participating!!!!

as for me, i had no clue that there were really FAs out there until i came to dims 2 years ago... and when i first found the place, it still took time for me to wrap my brain around the concept of "fat admirer"... as a lifetime of programming - both internal & external - conditioned me to the fact that i was just a person... not female - but just a person... it was a little much to process that there were guys and girls out there who would genuinely find me attractive... 

so - here is my big fat shout out to conrad - for creating an fa haven... heatherbbw - without her, i would have never found the dim community... and to placebo - who gave me my first and best hot fattie girl compliment ever...


the big apple has spoken...
::exeunt:: :bow:

P.S.



Filly said:


> Where are the Aussie FAs? Someone tell me!


 
currently, australian heat is in NYC for a limited time only...


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## UMBROBOYUM (Apr 21, 2008)

We do exist. I live in lower ny, So heres one! There are plenty of men, FA or not out there. Do some prefer an FA rather than a non-fa guy/girl?


I'm online on aim mostly if you want to talk with an fa. Though you can find most any in dims chat! 

again... we are real and we're around! If you want proof im me on aim and we'll talk! 


.. FA guys I was thinking maybe we should get together sometime on internet or not and chill out. Maybe as a group we could go out and awaken, and bring out the other fellows who are unsure about their choice in big ladies!. The more the better! lol


-Jon

AIM- Umbroboyum


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## BrownEyedChica (Apr 24, 2008)

Yes, where are the FA's at? I dont think there are any around here... atleast none that are single... and I live in a big city!!


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