# I stirred the pot a bit by asking a simple question. Was I right or wrong?



## FatBarbieDoll (Mar 22, 2017)

Possibly hurtful content below, so read at your own risk.



There is a subsection on Reddit whose post made it on the front page. I read one comment and noticed that its author called the woman, who the post was about, a "hamplanet", which I think is a dehumanizing term because it reduces fat people to a food item or a non-human animal and exaggerates the size to that of a planet.

Now, human beings ARE animals -- we are great apes, in fact -- but complex ones distinct from others due to our high intelligence. Society in general believes non-human animals are inferior, so it is an insult to liken someone to a pig or the product of a pig.

I simply asked this person why they dehumanized and was jumped on almost immediately. Sheesh. LOL! I noted that the way we treat others is a statement about who we are as human beings.

The post's author accused fat people who got their feelings hurt of reporting the content, even though they had no evidence to back up such a claim. I noticed this, so I mentioned it as well.


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## AmandaLynn (Mar 22, 2017)

Nothing wrong with fanning the flames of social media intolerance.


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## cinnamitch (Mar 22, 2017)

That's pretty typical for Reddit.


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## Tad (Mar 22, 2017)

I suggest reading this column: (I think you can read two or three articles per day for free from this paper).

In essence, trolls do it to cause suffering, and they jump all over you because they perceive you to be a target they might be able to hurt, based on assumptions that they hold. (note that it doesn't actually matter whether or not they hurt you, it matters only that they think they've hurt you, and therefore get the reward they are looking for).


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## Tracii (Mar 22, 2017)

One more reason not to be a part of reddit or twitter.
Both are full of trolls just waiting to pounce on you.
There is another site called Feabie and its full of 18 thru 30 year old that are about the rudest know it alls on the planet.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Mar 22, 2017)

What would be wrong is if you let a bunch of assholes on the net make you afraid to speak your truth...


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## LoveBHMS (Mar 22, 2017)

AmandaLynn said:


> Nothing wrong with fanning the flames of social media intolerance.



Reddit isn't social media. Reddit is a website with numerous subs (or subreddits) geared towards everything from current events to weightlifting to experience in the workplace. I'm guessing you visited a sub called "fatlogic" and got offended about the content.


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## FatBarbieDoll (Mar 22, 2017)

LoveBHMS said:


> Reddit isn't social media. Reddit is a website with numerous subs (or subreddits) geared towards everything from current events to weightlifting to experience in the workplace. I'm guessing you visited a sub called "fatlogic" and got offended about the content.



You would be guessing incorrectly. I clearly stated that the post made the front page, so I didn't intentionally browse any SR.


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## AmandaLynn (Mar 22, 2017)

LoveBHMS said:


> Reddit isn't social media. Reddit is a website with numerous subs (or subreddits) geared towards everything from current events to weightlifting to experience in the workplace. I'm guessing you visited a sub called "fatlogic" and got offended about the content.



To be honest, I never bothered with reddit for anything other than movie spoilers. I don't offend easily though. I simply don't care what anyone thinks of me unless I'm sleeping with them or they are paying my bills. Even less so some nameless faceless internet trolls.


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## Tracyarts (Mar 23, 2017)

cinnamitch said:


> That's pretty typical for Reddit.



It really is. 

I guess I'm pretty damn jaded because all it does is make me cringe for them. I mean, "hamplanet"? Come on... it's like "Ooooh, I'm a big bad internet warrior, I'm so edgy and savage, I'm gonna call you a hamplanet, buuuuuuurn! 

I know it's hate speech but I have a very hard time taking it seriously because it's so over the top and childish. Call me a hamplanet or whatever other little Reddit-speak insult you want to toss around? Whatever makes you feel all bad-ass and puts a tingle in your britches, Sparky. 

Reddit is the pee wee league of cyber-hate. The trash talk forums where they badmouth and cyber stalk bloggers and vloggers is the junior league. And hobby-craft-collector forums are where the big league hate, stalking, pile-ons, threats, etc... goes down.


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## LarryTheNoodleGuy (Mar 23, 2017)

AmandaLynn said:


> To be honest, I never bothered with reddit for anything other than movie spoilers. I don't offend easily though. I simply don't care what anyone thinks of me unless I'm sleeping with them or they are paying my bills. Even less so some nameless faceless internet trolls.



Amen, and thank you.

I actually find nasty comments funny, especially if they are misspelled.


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## DianaSSBBW (Mar 23, 2017)

AmandaLynn said:


> I simply don't care what anyone thinks of me unless I'm sleeping with them or they are paying my bills. Even less so some nameless faceless internet trolls.



I wish more people had this strength!


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## AmandaLynn (Mar 23, 2017)

DianaSSBBW said:


> I wish more people had this strength!



I don't know if it's so much about strength, I could call it more of a confident indifference.

I'm 22, I work extremely hard. While my family was very supportive of me growing up and with my education, nobody has handed me anything. With that in mind, there are people who have a valid opinion that matters; my boss, my parents, a seriously committed significant other, friends who have been there. These people matter. A stranger, some nameless faceless person over the internet, some troll; you know what? I don't even pay it any mind, not even worth consideration. Who are they to me, you know?


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## Tracii (Mar 23, 2017)

Amanda that is a great way to look at it.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Mar 23, 2017)

LarryTheNoodleGuy said:


> Amen, and thank you.
> 
> I actually find nasty comments funny, especially if they are misspelled.



The term "hamplanet" makes me want to giggle..wtf? That's supposed to make someone cry? 
If it does, then your problem goes way deeper than some anonymous shithead on the net. Truly.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Mar 23, 2017)

LarryTheNoodleGuy said:


> I actually find nasty comments funny, especially if they are misspelled.



And the quality of spelling varies inversely as the intensity of the ill-will.


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## Forgotten_Futures (Mar 23, 2017)

"Hamplanet?" Makes me chuckle. Feels like another way to say "fat pig"... but an oddly tongue-in-cheek jocular one?

If I manage to remember the phrase I'll probably use it in an FA fic some time = P

I facetiously refer to the Heroes of the Storm hero "Sergeant Hammer" as "Ham Ham" in part because she's bulky - and not all with muscle.


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## Tracyarts (Mar 24, 2017)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> The term "hamplanet" makes me want to giggle..wtf? That's supposed to make someone cry?
> If it does, then your problem goes way deeper than some anonymous shithead on the net. Truly.



I know, the fat insults are so childish. Hamplanet, hambeast, butter beast, eat beast, butter huffer, lard beast, butter golem, and I know I've read more but can't remember them. They're supposed to be so edgy and savage, and the best they can come up to dehumanize and hurt fat people with is stuff that would get you laughed out of a junior high schoolyard burn-fest? I swear that if anybody called me any of those names to my face, I'd bust out laughing and probably come back with "Oh yeah, well I'm rubber and you're glue, what bounces off me sticks to you".


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## Tracii (Mar 24, 2017)

I'll be honest some comments are quite hurtful.
The ones mentioned by Tracyarts are pretty juvenile and probably wouldn't bother me too much.
Its the ones that are really hurtful that get to me like hey fat ass sit down the row behind you cant see the game. Things like that can make me cry.


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## landshark (Mar 25, 2017)

I've reached a point where I am pretty dismissive of online comments. I was on a fitness forum where people were discussing fat girls and I mentioned being married to one. I had an anonymous rep comment show up a few minutes later that said, "Dude it's okay to fuck them [fat girls] in a dry spell but you're not supposed to marry them! Loser!" It's easy to tune out something like that. It can get frustrating but I think generally people are far more nasty online than in person. It's just some random person on the other end of a keyboard conversation. It's easy for them to hide behind the safety and anonymity of the internet.

No doubt some make comments in person too. I've experienced that too (even fell under harsh criticism by some here for not responding the way THEY would have to a comment a woman made about my wife, that experience is linked below.) I've had plenty of other such experiences but haven't bothered to catalogue them all here. And my wife picks up on it as well from time to time and often just lets it go, dismissive of stupid people as well she should be! She did have some snot nosed little teenie bopper and her friend making faces at her at a Starbucks recently. When we walked in they both looked her up and down and made it clear they disapproved of her weight. They had just ordered and the woman with them, presumably the mother of one of the girls, stepped off to use the restroom. When my wife ordered her drink and a pastry one of the girls said to the other, "I don't think she needs to eat that." The looks of disapproval continued and my wife, a grown woman, wasn't going to make a scene with two bratty little kids. She did say to me, loud enough for them to hear, "I would talk to their mother about how disrespectful they are but when it really comes down to it I don't care enough about the opinion of someone who needs her mommy to drive her to Starbucks." Or words to that effect. We had our order and were gone before the mom returned from the restroom anyway.

Stupid people abound. Such is life. 

http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=114738


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## FatBarbieDoll (Mar 25, 2017)

happily_married said:


> I've reached a point where I am pretty dismissive of online comments. I was on a fitness forum where people were discussing fat girls and I mentioned being married to one. I had an anonymous rep comment show up a few minutes later that said, "Dude it's okay to fuck them [fat girls] in a dry spell but you're not supposed to marry them! Loser!" It's easy to tune out something like that. It can get frustrating but I think generally people are far more nasty online than in person. It's just some random person on the other end of a keyboard conversation. It's easy for them to hide behind the safety and anonymity of the internet.
> 
> No doubt some make comments in person too. I've experienced that too (even fell under harsh criticism by some here for not responding the way THEY would have to a comment a woman made about my wife, that experience is linked below.) I've had plenty of other such experiences but haven't bothered to catalogue them all here. And my wife picks up on it as well from time to time and often just lets it go, dismissive of stupid people as well she should be! She did have some snot nosed little teenie bopper and her friend making faces at her at a Starbucks recently. When we walked in they both looked her up and down and made it clear they disapproved of her weight. They had just ordered and the woman with them, presumably the mother of one of the girls, stepped off to use the restroom. When my wife ordered her drink and a pastry one of the girls said to the other, "I don't think she needs to eat that." The looks of disapproval continued and my wife, a grown woman, wasn't going to make a scene with two bratty little kids. She did say to me, loud enough for them to hear, "I would talk to their mother about how disrespectful they are but when it really comes down to it I don't care enough about the opinion of someone who needs her mommy to drive her to Starbucks." Or words to that effect. We had our order and were gone before the mom returned from the restroom anyway.
> 
> ...




I believe that people who are comfortable with their bodies don't feel the need to act the way those teens did. I believe that people who know who they are don't feel the need to treat others poorly.

One woman responded to my comment with an illogical comment of her own. She basically claimed that, if someone feels shame for being fat, they already felt it before because they know they are doing something wrong -- no one came along and made them feel shame.

No, lady. People don't grow up in a vacuum. People absolutely can learn to feel shame regardless of whether or not they are doing "bad" things. To claim fat people feel shame because they know they are doing "bad" things and not because they were taught it is illogical, IMO.

I also got accused of not "taking responsibility" for my weight and "having self-pity" when I didn't even so much as imply I am not at fault for my size. I can't help but wonder if these people are psychologically projecting and actually hate themselves -- one charmer even told me to end my life. I didn't respond to the replies because they were so illogical and no one, save for MAYBE 3 people, even tried dismantled my argument. The one who came closest was the woman I mentioned above and one other person who asked me if I take issue with calling fat people "fat" and perhaps another.

I don't have an issue with the word "fat" but sometimes with dehumanizing terms like those listed by another member.


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## landshark (Mar 25, 2017)

FatBarbieDoll said:


> I believe that people who are comfortable with their bodies don't feel the need to act the way those teens did. I believe that people who know who they are don't feel the need to treat others poorly.
> 
> One woman responded to my comment with an illogical comment of her own. She basically claimed that, if someone feels shame for being fat, they already felt it before because they know they are doing something wrong -- no one came along and made them feel shame.
> 
> ...



I am always hesitant to psychoanalyze people and why they do and say the things they do and say. Sometimes there's not an explanation any better than people can be assholes sometimes. Some people are genuinely so hung up on themselves and the way they treat others doesn't have anything to do with an underlying sense of inadequacy so much as an inflated sense of self importance. I don't really waste my time trying to distinguish between the two. 

Know this: The internet is a wasteland. A place like reddit attracts people looking for a reason to be mean and nasty to others. Even on forums of like interests people can be downright awful to each other. Dims has its fair share of examples of that, unfortunately. 

But I definitely think you were right to confront that person. But don't expect to change any minds. Whenever I engage online these sort of mental midgets I don't expect to change any minds so much as to leave a conversation behind that a future reader may see and find helpful.


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## adam (Apr 17, 2017)

AmandaLynn said:


> To be honest, I never bothered with reddit for anything other than movie spoilers. I don't offend easily though. I simply don't care what anyone thinks of me unless I'm sleeping with them or they are paying my bills. Even less so some nameless faceless internet trolls.


Very good way to see it. Nobody gets far in life with thin skin & over sensitive hearing. Even a military veteran like myself has many haters making baseless accusations & insults at me just because I'm a veteran, a patriot, & proud well armed American, & they're none of those things. 

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G890A using Tapatalk


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## AmandaLynn (Apr 17, 2017)

adam said:


> Very good way to see it. Nobody gets far in life with thin skin & over sensitive hearing. Even a military veteran like myself has many haters making baseless accusations & insults at me just because I'm a veteran, a patriot, & proud well armed American, & they're none of those things.
> 
> Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G890A using Tapatalk



Thank you for your service. 

That's not really where I wanted to take this. Anyone who is going to insult our service men and women is just an asshole. There's not really much else to say about them. In terms of gun politics, that's not really my thing. Back home in Lafayette having a firearm was practical. Here in NYC, it's not.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Apr 17, 2017)

AmandaLynn said:


> Anyone who is going to insult our service men and women is just an asshole. .



Amen to that. But you could take it further and say that anyone who is going to insult anyone else is just an asshole. IMO the ability to disagree respectfully is the mark of an adult.


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## landshark (Apr 17, 2017)

Dr. Feelgood said:


> Amen to that. But you could take it further and say that anyone who is going to insult anyone else is just an asshole. IMO the ability to disagree respectfully is the mark of an adult.



I'll buy this. 

After OP started this discussion my curiosity got the better of me and I found a forum where fat haters go to spew their hate. I was fascinated at how illogical a lot of their contempt was. I couldn't help myself: I created a user name and threw out a few well thought questions and hardly anyone tried to actually answer the question but instead turned on me personally. 

I guess people need a scapegoat and a place to go where they can whoop up on said scapegoat without fear of having to think critically. As you can imagine it wasn't long before I was banned!


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## TwoSwords (Apr 30, 2017)

FatBarbieDoll said:


> Possibly hurtful content below, so read at your own risk.
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Well, I've said this before, but if making comparisons to inanimate objects was the real problem, "Juliet is the sun" wouldn't be one of the greatest romantic phrases in the history of literature.

The problem is in *mistreating* others. Asking questions is not mistreatment, provided its done without accompanying, angry accusations, but "hamplanet" is clearly intended as an insult, and that's mistreatment. No person, in my mind, should ever mistreat or condemn any other person for something which, like weight, is not provably an issue of ethics.

Personally, I often like being compared to other things, because I can find the good side of nearly any non-human thing, and the thought of anyone likening me to a planet fills me with giddy glee, but only if they meant it well. Mean-spirited negativity can taint even the highest of compliments.


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## Ample Pie (Jun 30, 2017)

Actually, treating others as objects, hamplanets or suns, can be very hurtful in and of itself. Putting Juliet on a pedestal didn't do her any damned favors; she died.

Also, I don't care if it stirred the pot or not, but I figure confronting bullshit is the best way to go. **warning, lingerie butt image in link**


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## TwoSwords (Jun 30, 2017)

Ample Pie said:


> Actually, treating others as objects, hamplanets or suns, can be very hurtful in and of itself.



In what sense would that be hurtful, in and of itself? I just explained how comparisons of this sort make me feel absolutely elated, when made in a positive sense. So, kindly tell me why you think I'm wrong to feel happy that people notice my positive qualities, please.



Ample Pie said:


> Putting Juliet on a pedestal didn't do her any damned favors; she died.



Juliet died because she had something worth living for, but no means to attain it in her life, because of the warring families that surrounded her. Remember? It was a tragedy, not because of love, but because love was opposed. This is made clear at the end, when the two families take responsibility and reconcile after the deaths of their loved ones.

But then again, Shakespeare actually *liked* the idea of love, as do I.



Ample Pie said:


> Also, I don't care if it stirred the pot or not, but I figure confronting bullshit is the best way to go. **warning, lingerie butt image in link**



I agree with her position. You've got to find your joy where you can in life, provided you don't have to do evil to get it. A mature person will be able to acknowledge the challenges of their life, while also enjoying the benefits, and that's why I don't see the problem with other people comparing me to inanimate objects, like lamps, salt, planets, suns, etc... If I can derive joy from these things, why shouldn't I do so?


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