# Dating a Thin Girl?



## huge (Dec 22, 2009)

This is a question for all the male (or female) FA's who have dated thinner members of the opposite sex. Has you're preference for fatness ever put a strain on your relationship? Did he/she feel insecure because of their body type after discovering your preference? I'm currently dating a girl who i believe is extremely beautiful, but sometimes she gets upset that i find bigger girls attractive. I'm sure this question has been asked multiple times on here but any stories/ advice would be greatly appreciated!


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## Jon Blaze (Dec 23, 2009)

In a relationship? Nope. Never. I haven't had many relationships, but I suppose it's good that the women I've been with haven't had anything negative to say about women that are of a different size in regards to me being attracted to them.

Other than that? Many many times. Friends, acquaintances, etc that I may have had some romantic interest. Some have thought negatively on the fact that I like women that cover a wide variety of sizes. Sometimes that's my cue to nix the idea of dating them though. lol


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## FAelitist (Dec 23, 2009)

Well I've certainly experienced this. About a year ago i had been dating this rather thin girl for about six months, and slowly let her know about my preference. At first she was perfectly fine with it but personally i can't be satisfied with a thin girl. All i can say is don't try to pressure her into gaining weight if she doesn't want to or THE SHIT WILL HIT THE FAN.


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## Jay West Coast (Dec 23, 2009)

LOL...welcome to the boards, FAelitist!

Several years ago, I had a romantic interest with a woman who was just under 200lbs. Trouble is, no matter how you slice it, its not an area in which its healthy to wish she were any different. It's not healthy for her, and no good for you. I've found that it's something you have to be really careful with, because there is no reason to hurt feelings or waste the time of otherwise fantastic people.

I think that if you're an FA, there are so many wonderful BBW's around that odds are you're more likely to find the right girl by being patient enough to find someone who really does fit what you're looking for--in regards to size and to everything else. Just don't be in the closet or a dipshit and afraid to pull the trigger; being a coward is only going to make you (and her) miserable. 

Simply put, mathematically, there is no reason to settle for a thin girl. Go big or go home. Ha!


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## KHayes666 (Dec 23, 2009)

Yes and No.

While I let it be known I prefer bigger girls over smaller, it depends on who you're dating and their personality that determines if your F/A status will make or break a relationship.

For example, a girl I was dating last year was extremely jealous of the fact that I prefered big girls. She's not an F/A, only about 170 pounds and couldn't stand it everytime one of my fat friends sent me a text message or myspace message saying "Hi, good to see you" The reason we broke up had nothing to do with my F/A status, but she did seem to resent the fact that I liked big girls.

Taking the time machine back to 2006, I was involved with a smaller girl who had no problems with the fact I prefered my women big. Again, the reason we broke up had nothing to do with size, but this girl didn't seem to be bothered by the fact I was an F/A.

I'll admit that getting intimate with a larger girl has been 100 times hotter than when getting intimate with a smaller girl, but that's just my own personal experience. 

However, this does not mean you shouldn't date thin girls just because they're thin....or shall I say NICE thin girls. You should date someone who are comfortable with and if you don't feel comfortable with a thin girl, no shame in admitting it.


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## Wagimawr (Dec 23, 2009)

I think so, especially in my first college relationship.

I was attracted to her partly because I thought she had a cute tummy  little did I know (until 10 mins into talking to her ) that she was pregnant at the time. Oops. Well, we talked since then, through the first half of the school year, then more during the time she was away having the baby, and decided to get together at the end of the school year. 

Well, suffice it to say, all sorts of "you just love my tummy" comments ran rampant, and things didn't end well (for other larger reasons, but I can't imagine that part helping). But, as KHayes mentioned, I felt ridiculously comfortable around her (and I think those feelings going away were part of the reasons we split), so it was okay.

So it can easily happen.


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## LoveBHMS (Dec 24, 2009)

Like Kevin, yes and no.

I never have, or would ask somebody to gain who did not want to. I have always been upfront about being an FFA, but I am also bisizual, and can be fully attracted to a skinny guy if other elements are there.

I dated one guy who was a retired Navy officer who sort of hated fatties, and any time I gave him a compliment would say "If you think this looks good, does that mean I look fat in it?" even if I was just saying a particular color looked nice on him. I always made it very clear that I would not have gone out with him if I found him "lacking" in any way, but he was very hung up on my being an FFA. As sad as it sounds, I actually regretted being honest with him, since he made it more of an issue than it should have been.

as i've said time and again, human sexuality is pretty dynamic. It's entirely possible to be turned on by somebody you *never* thought was your type.


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## Dr. Feelgood (Dec 24, 2009)

I've had girlfriends of all sizes and shapes. I never mentioned to any of them that I have a preference for larger women, because at the time I wasn't aware of it: it was only in retrospect that I noted how frequently the BBW theme appeared in my love life. If I were seeing a thin woman, however, I would not tell her that I prefer fat women for the same three reasons that I would not tell a blonde that I prefer brunettes:

(1) I basically just like _women_, and besides,
(2) intelligence, honesty, and a good heart trump physical attributes, plus
(3) without my intending it, she might get the message, "You're inadequate." Why take a chance on making someone you like feel bad?


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## Littleghost (Dec 24, 2009)

My first actual girlfriend was my smallest, but by other people's standards she was anywhere from average to a bit heavy. At that point in highschool I was already very aware that I liked fat girls, but whatever her size, I fell in love with her personality. We'd been friends like I had with a lot of girls, but she was the first that'd ever made me feel that strongly, so the physical was just as much wrapped up in the mental for me then.

A little after I got out from winter semester of college, a girl responded to a personal I had that clearly said that I was attracted to fat girls. We chatted for a bit and got along pretty well and so we met. However, she turned out to be rather skinny and I felt a bit deceived. But she asked me if I really did like fat girls and I was honest about it, and she asked me if I still wanted to hang out with her. At the time, I was fairly lonely and she seemed to be too, so we were pretty goods friends up until she left for another school in the summer of that year. I never quite figured out why she specifically responded to me, (she was a bit flaky) but I knew that had I hidden or lied about being an FA, the friendship would've been a lot more strained, difficult and weird for both of us.

So I think as long as you're honest about your feelings to yourself to the other person without being abrasive about it, things will be much better for everyone involved. And if you don't know what you're feelings are, be honest about that too. Maybe they don't know either, but you've both a right to know.

Personally, I'd rather be single than date a skinny girl, not because they're horrible, but because of the same reason I wouldn't date a cute fat girl that I had nothing in common with; it's only half of a relationship, and that's not fair to anyone. If you like both fat and skinny, then that's what works for you, and there's nothing wrong with that. You just need to know what you want and be honest about it, everyone benefits by it.


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## disconnectedsmile (Dec 28, 2009)

huge said:


> This is a question for all the male (or female) FA's who have dated thinner members of the opposite sex. Has you're preference for fatness ever put a strain on your relationship?


my preference for fatness is the reason why i've never dated a thin girl.


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## MrRabbit (Dec 29, 2009)

disconnectedsmile said:


> my preference for fatness is the reason why i've never dated a thin girl.


Same here!


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## The Fez (Dec 30, 2009)

I'm dating a thin girl; she knows I like big girls. She's kinda 'meh' about it.


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## disconnectedsmile (Dec 30, 2009)

The Fez said:


> I'm dating a thin girl; she knows I like big girls. She's kinda 'meh' about it.


okay, please don't take this question the wrong way, because i wish to ask it with nothing more than respectful curiosity.

if you like fat girls, why are you dating a thin girl?


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## KHayes666 (Dec 30, 2009)

disconnectedsmile said:


> okay, please don't take this question the wrong way, because i wish to ask it with nothing more than respectful curiosity.
> 
> if you like fat girls, why are you dating a thin girl?



See my post from earlier.....some of us choose the personality over the size. 

I can't speak for him, but in general sometimes a girl is so damn sweet, kind and a family favorite no matter what she looks like.


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## disconnectedsmile (Dec 30, 2009)

KHayes666 said:


> See my post from earlier.....some of us choose the personality over the size.
> 
> I can't speak for him, but in general sometimes a girl is so damn sweet, kind and a family favorite no matter what she looks like.


Im not gonna say Im shallow (even though I kinda am), but I cant be with a thin girl, because I just dont find them attractive. Like, at all.
I mean, sure, I could look at a pretty thin girl and admit shes pretty from an objective standpoint but theres no physical or sexual attraction. None. At all. Not even a little.
I guess, as an FA, its just a little hard to fathom other FAs being with thin girls. Unless said FAs are bisizual, in which case, more power to you.


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## The Fez (Dec 31, 2009)

What Khayes said. We got on so well that it didn't really matter that she was thin.

However, I'm a bad example; I've realised we're better as friends than as significant others, so I'm probably going to break it off :doh:


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## thebog138 (Jan 28, 2010)

I've recently discovered I'm an FA and I've been dating a girl for about 2 years now who is fairly thin but curvy. She brings up marriage some times and it scares the crap out of be because I have never been with a fat woman. I love this girl but I really want to explore this newly discovered aspect of myself. 

Any one else discover their attraction in a long term relationship?


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## MisterGuy (Jan 28, 2010)

disconnectedsmile said:


> Im not gonna say Im shallow (even though I kinda am), but I cant be with a thin girl, because I just dont find them attractive. Like, at all.
> I mean, sure, I could look at a pretty thin girl and admit shes pretty from an objective standpoint but theres no physical or sexual attraction. None. At all. Not even a little.
> I guess, as an FA, its just a little hard to fathom other FAs being with thin girls. Unless said FAs are bisizual, in which case, more power to you.


+1

It's taken me quite a while (early 30s) to come to the rather obvious conclusion that I have to date big girls. I've tried dating smaller girls w/ nice personalities and nice families and nice whatevers, and that's all well and good, but in the end you still physically wish you were with a bigger girl. 

I'm not saying sex is the be-all end-all of relationships, but in my experience sexual compatibility is foundational and non-negotiable: it's either there or it's not, and it needs to be there.


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## Aswani (Jan 28, 2010)

I'd like to see a poll done about how many FAs here are living their lives with BBWs. I'm beginning to sense there's quite a few FAs here that prefer to be FAs in fantasy or online but actually lead their lives with much smaller women. I just couldn't imagine there not being conflict with your BBW wife or girlfriend if you want to fullfill your weight gain fantasies with her, so it seems like the kind of lifestyle that's probably easier to live online than offline. I really believe if they have thin girlfriends, they may find that it's socially easier to deal with than having a 300 pound woman in their lives that they want to see get larger and lovelier. Some call it being in the closet, which it is, but it's also the secret fantasy life they're living here. I guess we all have them in one form or another.


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## name2come (Jan 28, 2010)

disconnectedsmile said:


> I’m not gonna say I’m shallow (even though I kinda am), but I can’t be with a thin girl, because I just don’t find them attractive. Like, at all.
> I mean, sure, I could look at a pretty thin girl and admit she’s pretty from an objective standpoint… but there’s no physical or sexual attraction. None. At all. Not even a little.
> I guess, as an FA, it’s just a little hard to fathom other FAs being with thin girls. Unless said FAs are bisizual, in which case, more power to you.



Its not remotely shallow to want to be with a partner you are fully attracted to. Really, that's just respectful to your partners. While its clear some "FA's" love to pat themselves on the back for choosing "personality", what they are doing is dating someone in spite of themselves. That's not noble. Its just trying to break down a person into what you will decide is acceptable enough. That's not magnanimous. Its rude. I'd hate to have someone who dated me "anyway". If you think there isn't a fat person out there who you can click with, you're being very disrespectful towards fat people, too. It'd be wrong to think a man who only dates fat women must necessarily date women because of their body. Some do, and that's just as wrong as those who date women in spite of their body. Both are just two sides of the same coin where you're emphasizing your standards on a woman instead of looking for someone you have a total attraction to. Some FA's may like to martyr themselves to indulge their egos, but there is no cause for their celebration and much less their sense of superiority over men who want relationships where they are intimately enthralled by all aspects of their relationship. Relationships aren't a buffet where you select what you want and leave what you don't. They are a feast where you enjoy all that there is on the table.


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## disconnectedsmile (Jan 28, 2010)

name2come said:


> Its not remotely shallow to want to be with a partner you are fully attracted to. Really, that's just respectful to your partners. While its clear some "FA's" love to pat themselves on the back for choosing "personality", what they are doing is dating someone in spite of themselves. That's not noble. Its just trying to break down a person into what you will decide is acceptable enough. That's not magnanimous. Its rude. I'd hate to have someone who dated me "anyway". If you think there isn't a fat person out there who you can click with, you're being very disrespectful towards fat people, too. It'd be wrong to think a man who only dates fat women must necessarily date women because of their body. Some do, and that's just as wrong as those who date women in spite of their body. Both are just two sides of the same coin where you're emphasizing your standards on a woman instead of looking for someone you have a total attraction to. Some FA's may like to martyr themselves to indulge their egos, but there is no cause for their celebration and much less their sense of superiority over men who want relationships where they are intimately enthralled by all aspects of their relationship. Relationships aren't a buffet where you select what you want and leave what you don't. They are a feast where you enjoy all that there is on the table.



this is a great post.
i agree with a lot of it, but not all of it.
i mean, i'm sure there are individuals out there (and/or here on DIMs) who are genuinely bi-sizual...

but, *for the most part*, an FA dating a skinny girl is like a lesbian dating a guy - you aren't fooling anyone, especially not yourself.


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## name2come (Jan 28, 2010)

disconnectedsmile said:


> this is a great post.
> i agree with a lot of it, but not all of it.
> i mean, i'm sure there are individuals out there (and/or here on DIMs) who are genuinely bi-sizual...
> 
> but, *for the most part*, an FA dating a skinny girl is like a lesbian dating a guy - you aren't fooling anyone, especially not yourself.



What I have to say is nothing about men who genuinely are attracted to a variety of sizes or genuinely aren't interested in physical attraction. The point is we should accept what attracts us no matter what it is. We do no one any favors by trying to base a relationship with fences around whatever we're not attracted to. Fat people are already discriminated against enough. I don't see anything enlightened about being attracted to fat people and denying yourself that attraction out of a desire to prove one's moral superiority. Its no righteous deed. Its just another way of defining a relationship about what you decide is worth appreciating in your partner and setting up lines around what isn't. I'd never want to be on the other end of that.


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 29, 2010)

Aswani said:


> I'd like to see a poll done about how many FAs here are living their lives with BBWs. I'm beginning to sense there's quite a few FAs here that prefer to be FAs in fantasy or online but actually lead their lives with much smaller women. I just couldn't imagine there not being conflict with your BBW wife or girlfriend if you want to fullfill your weight gain fantasies with her, so it seems like the kind of lifestyle that's probably easier to live online than offline. I really believe if they have thin girlfriends, they may find that it's socially easier to deal with than having a 300 pound woman in their lives that they want to see get larger and lovelier. Some call it being in the closet, which it is, but it's also the secret fantasy life they're living here. I guess we all have them in one form or another.



Not all FAs have weight gain fantasies. And if somebody was with a thin person but "wanted to see them get larger" wouldn't that defeat the purpose of being with a thin person in the first place if you did that because it was easier? 

Lots of men on here go out with SSBBW and BBW, I don't even need to argue this point, go look in the "Events" part of this board and you can see tons of men socializing with fat women.


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## ImSoDead (Jan 29, 2010)

My wife of 9 years is not thin by society standards, but certainly by Dimensions'! And yes, she has always been a bit insecure about my distinct size preference. She's not interested in gaining any weight and I've come to terms with it. I think she's come to terms with my preference also. It wasn't easy for me. There was a point when we were dating that I almost didn't propose marriage because of her size. But I came to realize that who she was on the inside was more important for a marriage and parenthood than on the outside. In other words, she wasn't good girlfriend material but she was and still is great wife and mother material. It wasn't an easy choice for me, but it was the right choice. I have no regrets. Disappointment? Of course. And this is why my nickname is "ImSoDead." If my wife found me here, it would be a HUGE fight and re-open all the old insecurities. But Dimensions is how I cope with the lack of heroic proportions on my wife's part. My advice is to focus on your girlfriend and do you best to hide your preferences. Either it will work out or it won't. In the meantime, enjoy!


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## Jon Blaze (Jan 29, 2010)

Well I don't think hiding is a good idea, but for me sexual attraction does not trump mental connection. I'm willing to compromise in some case. That's how I personally interpret what you said. 

At the very most (For me), physical attraction is 40% of the battle, and I've said many times that I'd gladly turn a girl down that is "Smoking" by my standards if we don't get along/don't click, and I'd gladly take someone that I might find "Fair" (Fair in the scale sense of fair, good, great, etc...) physically but I connect well with mentally. It's such a small factor for the grand scheme in my case.
There's of course nothing wrong with not agreeing with me though.


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 29, 2010)

Jon Blaze said:


> Well I don't think hiding is a good idea, but for me sexual attraction does not trump mental connection. I'm willing to compromise in some case. That's how I personally interpret what you said.
> 
> At the very most (For me), physical attraction is 40% of the battle, and I've said many times that I'd gladly turn a girl down that is "Smoking" by my standards if we don't get along/don't click, and I'd gladly take someone that I might find "Fair" (Fair in the scale sense of fair, good, great, etc...) physically but I connect well with mentally. It's such a small factor for the grand scheme in my case.
> There's of course nothing wrong with not agreeing with me though.



Right. There are just a huge number of variables ranging from how important fat is to attraction and then how important physical attraction is. Like it's easy to say somebody's wrong for hiding attraction to fat women, yet in some cases, aspects like compatible parenting ideas are more important and somebody feels it's a reasonable tradeoff. Perfect relationships just don't exist and it seems the mature thing to do to recognize that and figure out where you are able to compromise.


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## Durin (Jan 29, 2010)

We didn't date so much as think about dating. She had a great personality but had recently lost a huge about of weight. I didn't fit the bill because she was looking for some Hunky guy. I told her which I think messed with her mind slightly that I couldn't date her because I liked fat women. 

But we got along really well. We went and watched Star Trek movies together. Eventually we both met other people and that was that.


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## ImSoDead (Jan 30, 2010)

LoveBHMS said:


> Right. There are just a huge number of variables ranging from how important fat is to attraction and then how important physical attraction is. Like it's easy to say somebody's wrong for hiding attraction to fat women, yet in some cases, aspects like compatible parenting ideas are more important and somebody feels it's a reasonable tradeoff. Perfect relationships just don't exist and it seems the mature thing to do to recognize that and figure out where you are able to compromise.



Parenting is very, very hard work. The most difficult and challening thing I've done so far and my kids are only 6 and 3, It is absolutely essential that you and your prospective mate totally click on parenting before getting married. Nothing else matters if the two of you can't form a strong parenting team. Unless of course, you choose not to have kids. Compatible money management values are #2. These are the top two stressors in all marriages -- kids and money.

Don't get me wrong. I do wish my wife were a SSBBW or even a BBW. But I thank God I found someone that partners well with me on parenting and money management.

But if you're only dating.... go for the physical attraction.


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## exile in thighville (Jan 30, 2010)

prerecorded response


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## AnnMarie (Jan 30, 2010)

Aswani said:


> I'd like to see a poll done about how many FAs here are living their lives with BBWs. I'm beginning to sense there's quite a few FAs here that prefer to be FAs in fantasy or online but actually lead their lives with much smaller women. I just couldn't imagine there not being conflict with your BBW wife or girlfriend if you want to fullfill your weight gain fantasies with her, so it seems like the kind of lifestyle that's probably easier to live online than offline. I really believe if they have thin girlfriends, they may find that it's socially easier to deal with than having a 300 pound woman in their lives that they want to see get larger and lovelier. Some call it being in the closet, which it is, but it's also the secret fantasy life they're living here. I guess we all have them in one form or another.




You are freely mixing FA and feeder wants/desires there, and that's not accurate. 



> I just couldn't imagine there not being conflict with your BBW wife or girlfriend if you want to fullfill your weight gain fantasies with her, so it seems like the kind of lifestyle that's probably easier to live online than offline.




Sure, if you're into feeding/gaining and haven't discussed that with your partner. However, if you're an FA with no particular interest in active gaining (maybe passive, over time, whatever) then where is the conflict?




> I really believe if they have thin girlfriends, they may find that it's socially easier to deal with than having a 300 pound woman in their lives that they want to see get larger and lovelier.




Again, maybe it's just thin vs 300lb partner and has nothing to do with potential gain. The terms FA and Feeder are not interchangeable. There is nothing wrong or better about either, to me, but you can't just assign the desires of one group to another willy nilly. 


On your larger point, sure, would be interesting to see how many FAs are walking the walking instead of just talking the talk. My experiences are walking the walk, because I'm only involved with FAs and if I'm not part of their life, then I'm not in it.


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## TraciJo67 (Jan 30, 2010)

ImSoDead said:


> Parenting is very, very hard work. The most difficult and challening thing I've done so far and my kids are only 6 and 3, It is absolutely essential that you and your prospective mate totally click on parenting before getting married. Nothing else matters if the two of you can't form a strong parenting team. Unless of course, you choose not to have kids. Compatible money management values are #2. These are the top two stressors in all marriages -- kids and money.
> 
> Don't get me wrong. I do wish my wife were a SSBBW or even a BBW. But I thank God I found someone that partners well with me on parenting and money management.


 
If the situation were reversed, and your wife was asked what makes your partnership work ... and she answered that you're compatible on parenting and money management philosophies ... how would you feel about that? Wouldn't you want at least part of her answer to be that she loves you just as you are, and that you really turn her on sexually? 

When I was in college, I dated (and eventually married) a man from another country. It afforded me the opportunity to meet and befriend people from many different cultures, not just his. One thing that I observed, many times, is that men who come from cultures that view marriage as more of a social contract than a romantic partnering (and in many cases, they also had very conflicted views of American/European women's sexuality) were very eager to bed us, but relationship material? Hell, a lot of them already had wives, or at least intended wives, patiently waiting for their Prince Charmings to finish school and return to them. Some were very honest about their intentions. Others ... weren't. Overall though, what bothered me the most was the dichotomy between their behaviors -- nailing anything with a vagina and a corresponding pulse -- and their dim views of the women who slept with them. You could drive a mack truck through the chasm. 

I know that relationships are very complicated, and that most successful partnerships really have to encompass practical issues of compatibility. But I have to say, I would be devastated if I found out that this was all my husband felt for me -or- if I was the fat woman who was 'good enough' to fuck, but not actual marriage material. In fact, I don't even know which role would be more painful. I think that people who aren't true to themselves first ... can cause a lot of damage to others.


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## name2come (Jan 31, 2010)

ImSoDead said:


> Parenting is very, very hard work. The most difficult and challening thing I've done so far and my kids are only 6 and 3, It is absolutely essential that you and your prospective mate totally click on parenting before getting married. Nothing else matters if the two of you can't form a strong parenting team. Unless of course, you choose not to have kids. Compatible money management values are #2. These are the top two stressors in all marriages -- kids and money.
> 
> Don't get me wrong. I do wish my wife were a SSBBW or even a BBW. But I thank God I found someone that partners well with me on parenting and money management.



You act like these are trade offs that are regularly being made in favor of physical attraction. That's not what FA's are doing. You're just trying to make yourself feel like a better person by creating these "choices". What you fail to understand is that most FA's never have to sacrifice compatibility in personal interactions in favor of a gorgeous fat body. The choices you seem to think we make? We don't. Because there are a lot of fat people out there. You think I'm going for physical attraction at something else's expense? I'm not. I'm sorry you thought that was something you had to do, but you were wrong. For want of a better phrase, you can have it all. You can have a partner you are fully attracted to. If you declined to look for that, don't expect me to applaud you for that decision. There is nothing noble or righteous about it. It was your decision to make, but spare me the sense of honor over it. There are fat people who are wonderful mothers and fathers and exceptionally sensible with their finances. And there are many FA's out there who are building rewarding relationships with them without being shamed into dismissing their desires.


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## chicken legs (Jan 31, 2010)

huge said:


> This is a question for all the male (or female) FA's who have dated thinner members of the opposite sex. Has you're preference for fatness ever put a strain on your relationship? Did he/she feel insecure because of their body type after discovering your preference? I'm currently dating a girl who i believe is extremely beautiful, but sometimes she gets upset that i find bigger girls attractive. I'm sure this question has been asked multiple times on here but any stories/ advice would be greatly appreciated!



Yeah it has put a strain on the relationship because the person wants me to view them as a sexual object but it just doesnt happen and then they get mad because I can only view then as a friend. Then I get mad because I didn't realize I was dating them...

Edit....

Reality of raising kids and what not always trumps my sexual desires, hobbies, etc.


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## LoveBHMS (Jan 31, 2010)

name2come said:


> *You act like these are trade offs that are regularly being made in favor of physical attraction.* That's not what FA's are doing. You're just trying to make yourself feel like a better person by creating these "choices". What you fail to understand is that most FA's never have to sacrifice compatibility in personal interactions in favor of a gorgeous fat body. The choices you seem to think we make? We don't. Because there are a lot of fat people out there. You think I'm going for physical attraction at something else's expense? I'm not. I'm sorry you thought that was something you had to do, but you were wrong. For want of a better phrase, you can have it all. You can have a partner you are fully attracted to. If you declined to look for that, don't expect me to applaud you for that decision. There is nothing noble or righteous about it. It was your decision to make, but spare me the sense of honor over it. There are fat people who are wonderful mothers and fathers and exceptionally sensible with their finances. And there are many FA's out there who are building rewarding relationships with them without being shamed into dismissing their desires.



These tradeoffs are regularly made. The only twist here is he happens to have a particular type that his wife doesn't fit. If he were not an FA but simply chose an average sized partner with the same parenting ideas over an average sized partner to whom he was physically attracted, this would not even be an issue. I think people do this all the time; in choosing a life partner they sometimes let the head rule the heart. Focusing on practical issues is really not so uncommon and maybe even not the worset of ideas, isn't that why arranged marriages may work? Because partners are matched with similar values and ideas. I honestly don't think there is a right or wrong here, just a matter of how important physical attraction is.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (Jan 31, 2010)

All I have to say as the fat single mother of three children is.....I left my thin partner for his irresponsibility, among his other problems.

I also dumped the next thin guy for the same thing. 

*I* am the main support and most stable person in my children's lives. The thin people around me....they have never carried the responsibilities I have. 

My children- they are smart and wonderful and ALL will grow up to be very good people- I have no doubt in my mind about it. 

I'm not a victim for it- I'm actually a BETTER person from it all. 

Gee, just imagine....thin and fat people can be equally fucked up.....or strong and responsible.


Oh and I repped the hell out of name2come again


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## Weirdo890 (Jan 31, 2010)

Green Eyed Fairy said:


> All I have to say as the fat single mother of three children is.....I left my thin partner for his irresponsibility, among his other problems.
> 
> I also dumped the next thin guy for the same thing.
> 
> ...



I'm glad you are the responsible one and that you care for your children. I respect that. God Bless You and may your strength never falter.


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## MrRabbit (Feb 1, 2010)

ImSoDead said:


> Disappointment? Of course. And this is why my nickname is "ImSoDead." If my wife found me here, it would be a HUGE fight and re-open all the old insecurities. But Dimensions is how I cope with the lack of heroic proportions on my wife's part.


That is exactly why I do not date thin or even normal sized women. I know my preference will not go away, no matter how perfect she might be on all other aspects. Don't you feel like you are denying an important part of your personality? 

Personally, I would feel very bad if I was with smaller women and would need to come to dimensions to cope with my preference. I would feel as if I was cheating on her. And it would not even satisfy me, because I don't want to look at big women, I want to be with one!


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## ImSoDead (Feb 1, 2010)

TraciJo67 said:


> If the situation were reversed, and your wife was asked what makes your partnership work ... and she answered that you're compatible on parenting and money management philosophies ... how would you feel about that? Wouldn't you want at least part of her answer to be that she loves you just as you are, and that you really turn her on sexually?
> 
> When I was in college, I dated (and eventually married) a man from another country. It afforded me the opportunity to meet and befriend people from many different cultures, not just his. One thing that I observed, many times, is that men who come from cultures that view marriage as more of a social contract than a romantic partnering (and in many cases, they also had very conflicted views of American/European women's sexuality) were very eager to bed us, but relationship material? Hell, a lot of them already had wives, or at least intended wives, patiently waiting for their Prince Charmings to finish school and return to them. Some were very honest about their intentions. Others ... weren't. Overall though, what bothered me the most was the dichotomy between their behaviors -- nailing anything with a vagina and a corresponding pulse -- and their dim views of the women who slept with them. You could drive a mack truck through the chasm.
> 
> I know that relationships are very complicated, and that most successful partnerships really have to encompass practical issues of compatibility. But I have to say, I would be devastated if I found out that this was all my husband felt for me -or- if I was the fat woman who was 'good enough' to fuck, but not actual marriage material. In fact, I don't even know which role would be more painful. I think that people who aren't true to themselves first ... can cause a lot of damage to others.



Interesting questions TraciJo and I'll try to answer as best I can. In my case, I'm a BHM but my wife is not an FFA. We discussed our preferences before we got engaged. We got married because we fell in love with the person on the inside (of each other). We both agreed that what a person looks like less important to each of us than who that person is deep inside. We'll be celebrating our 9th anniversary this Friday. I can easily say that I love my wife more than I did when we first got married. I believe she would say the same. Thinking back to our courtship, we met online and communicated via telephone and email. We clicked immediately emotionally and intellectually. We fell in love before meeting each other in person. She's from another country and there were cultural obstacles for both of us to overcome and we did so. The really amazing thing to me is how effortlessly we connected emotionally and intellectually. Prior to meeting her, I had tried every avenue I could find to seek out a BBW for a LTR hopefully leading to marriage. Over the course of 20 years I managed to have some LTR that were wonderful but for a variety of reasons didn't work out. And the breakups were certainly painful. I agree with you that it hurts very deeply to discover that you can be a great partner in a relationship but not marriage material. I was in a very long term tempestuous on again/off again relationship that culminated in a proposal that was accepted but then broken off a couple of months later. I was devastated. I was an emotional wreck for a couple of years. It was only after I had worked through that breakup completely that I met my wife.

Oh and by the way, it is not fun at all to be a BHM where the in-laws are critical of my size. My late father-in-law made a loud public comment at our wedding about how the pyjama/kurta made me look "tubby." Whenever I look at my Indian wedding photos I'm always reminded of his comment.

In closing, I believe that two people can fall in love and be happily married solely because of who they are on the inside. But that doesn't mean the marriage is perfect nor does it change one of the other person's physical preferences. I fully support and encourage all single people to seek out partners whom they find attractive. Just be prepared for the fact that like in my case, the best marriage partner might not be your first physical choice.


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## Tad (Feb 3, 2010)

TraciJo67 said:


> If the situation were reversed, and your wife was asked what makes your partnership work ... and she answered that you're compatible on parenting and money management philosophies ... how would you feel about that? Wouldn't you want at least part of her answer to be that she loves you just as you are, and that you really turn her on sexually?



Traci-Jo, I'm not going to go digging through old posts, but I'm pretty sure I've seen you argue that should our partner change dramatically, we should accept it, support them, etc....even if we were no longer especially sexually attracted to them. If I'm wrong about that and putting words into your mouth my apologies, but I do think I've seen you suggest this in the past.

Given which, how is that really different than this case? However they got there, this is where they are. Surely what matters is the love and respect and finding ways to manage their sexuality in non-damaging ways, rather than if they think the other is the hottest thing on two legs or not?

As for your specific question, I suspect most guys would nod and say "Yah, that's about what I figured." They might sigh a bit to have it confirmed, but most guys, IMO, don't have the illusion that they are all that much of a physical specimen or that their wives think they are especially hot....they are just happy that she's chosen to be with them for whatever combination of factors. (Granted, my friends and co-workers are generally in their thirties or forties and working desk jobs, so few of them are amazing physical specimens in the first place, and are perhaps old enough to have fewer illusions)


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## TraciJo67 (Feb 3, 2010)

Tad said:


> Traci-Jo, I'm not going to go digging through old posts, but I'm pretty sure I've seen you argue that should our partner change dramatically, we should accept it, support them, etc....even if we were no longer especially sexually attracted to them. If I'm wrong about that and putting words into your mouth my apologies, but I do think I've seen you suggest this in the past.


 
Tad, that couldn't be further from how I actually feel. Personally ... I'd be horrified if my husband was just going through the motions and wasn't especially attracted to me. And if I no longer found him attractive, I'd leave him. He deserves better. And I deserve equal consideration. It would be a devastating blow for either one of us, but in the long run, it would be a kindness. People who are not happy together tend to make very unwise choices, and the result of those choices are -- in my opinion -- far more damaging than an honest "This isn't working" discussion. Here's where I may not have been clear: I think that when you really love someone, wholly and completely, your eyes are naturally more forgiving of changes that occur with aging/injury/illness, etc. That has been my experience. I can't speak for anyone else, but do admit to a bias in this area. I don't understand how people who fell in love with each other could, years later, lose that love because physical appearance has changed. That, to me, seems like one of the least important factors in how I judge my husband. Not saying that it isn't important ... just that there are so many reasons why I love my husband, and physical attraction is only one component of that. But it *is* a component -- otherwise, we'd be good friends with common values. He's a good husband, a wonderful father, a great provider, and he almost never complains ... and I find that just as much of a turn-on as his physical attributes. I think that other women will probably understand what I'm saying, even though I may not be doing the best job of explaining it.




> Given which, how is that really different than this case? However they got there, this is where they are. Surely what matters is the love and respect and finding ways to manage their sexuality in non-damaging ways, rather than if they think the other is the hottest thing on two legs or not?


 
So long as both are on the same page, sure. I read that OP comes here secretly, and knows that his wife would have a big problem with it if she knew. That's a huge red flag, to me. It tells me that they aren't operating on equal footing, because he's withholding a part of himself from her. A damn important part -- again, IMO. I don't know what would be worse ... the sense of being duped, years later, if/when I found out ... or the unease that comes with not knowing but still, on some level, knowing all the same. We can sense when someone we love completely doesn't have the same feelings for us, Tad. I'm not in OP's relationship, and I don't know how things work specifically between himself and his wife. Generally speaking, though ... I think you pegged it when you referred to managing sexuality in a NON-DAMAGING way. I asked the OP a "shoe on the other foot" question for a specific reason. I am not being intentionally disrespectful or overtly judgmental. I was honestly curious how he'd feel, and I'm glad that he chose to answer my question. Where we might differ is in defining 'non damaging'.




> As for your specific question, I suspect most guys would nod and say "Yah, that's about what I figured." They might sigh a bit to have it confirmed, but most guys, IMO, don't have the illusion that they are all that much of a physical specimen or that their wives think they are especially hot....they are just happy that she's chosen to be with them for whatever combination of factors. (Granted, my friends and co-workers are generally in their thirties or forties and working desk jobs, so few of them are amazing physical specimens in the first place, and are perhaps old enough to have fewer illusions)


 
That seems so cynical to me, Tad. I know that you are portraying it as a realist, as something that you feel is just ... what it is. It seems so clinical and detached to me, though. I hope that my husband doesn't feel this way. We seldom talk about matters of the heart. This reminds me that maybe we should, and I shouldn't just assume that he knows he rocks my world.


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## exile in thighville (Feb 3, 2010)

Tad said:


> I'm pretty sure I've seen you argue that should our partner change dramatically, we should accept it, support them, etc....even if we were no longer especially sexually attracted to them.



i left it on the dresser going out w the mistress brb


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## ImSoDead (Feb 8, 2010)

MrRabbit said:


> That is exactly why I do not date thin or even normal sized women. I know my preference will not go away, no matter how perfect she might be on all other aspects. Don't you feel like you are denying an important part of your personality?
> 
> Personally, I would feel very bad if I was with smaller women and would need to come to dimensions to cope with my preference. I would feel as if I was cheating on her. And it would not even satisfy me, because I don't want to look at big women, I want to be with one!



I used to think that way before I met my wife. For myself, it turned out that who she is on the inside is much, much more important than who she is on the outside. It was similar for her. I'm a BHM but she's not an FFA. We were both in our mid to late 30s when we got married and decided that while we weren't perfect for each other we were a better fit than everyone else we had met up to that point. Neither of us wanted to spend the rest of our life waiting for the perfect person to show up. A married friend of mine had told me that sexual passion fades over time, so it is much more important to be passionate about the person on the inside rather than the outside. This is not to say it's true for everyone. It may not be. But it has been true for me. And I have no regrets. But just because I'm married doesn't mean I don't find other women attractive. And I know I'm not the only married man who visits the Paysite Forums. I read once that the largest consumer of Internet pr0n are men age 35-49. I don't know if it's true but I do fit that demographic.

I fully respect your opinions and am glad you shared. My life experience is just different.


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## ImSoDead (Feb 8, 2010)

TraciJo67 said:


> So long as both are on the same page, sure. I read that OP comes here secretly, and knows that his wife would have a big problem with it if she knew. That's a huge red flag, to me. It tells me that they aren't operating on equal footing, because he's withholding a part of himself from her. A damn important part -- again, IMO. I don't know what would be worse ... the sense of being duped, years later, if/when I found out ... or the unease that comes with not knowing but still, on some level, knowing all the same. We can sense when someone we love completely doesn't have the same feelings for us, Tad. I'm not in OP's relationship, and I don't know how things work specifically between himself and his wife. Generally speaking, though ... I think you pegged it when you referred to managing sexuality in a NON-DAMAGING way. I asked the OP a "shoe on the other foot" question for a specific reason. I am not being intentionally disrespectful or overtly judgmental. I was honestly curious how he'd feel, and I'm glad that he chose to answer my question. Where we might differ is in defining 'non damaging'.



Traci-Jo, are you referring to me? It looks like you are. If that's the case, I'd like to point out that I'm not the OP. I'm just a guy who shared his personal experience. The OP asked for personal stories/experiences and I shared.

Just out of curiosity, have you ever heard of a non-FA ever falling in love with and marrying a BBW? Or a non-FFA falling in love with and marrying a BHM? I understand that for you and your husband (and several others) that physical attraction is a very important part of the overall attraction. However, my wife, myself, and my others have fallen in love with and married people who were not their first choice for physical attractiveness. As I mentioned in my first response to you, I'm a BHM but my wife is not an FFA. And that my late father-in-law was publicly critical of my size. Both of us knew full well before I proposed that we were not the physical ideals of each other. And yet I proposed, she accepted, and we've been happily married for 9 years and blessed with two children. And yes we do have sexual intercourse with each other and not with anyone else. For myself, I would never leave my family just so that I can have sex with a larger woman. Ever since I decided to propose to my wife 10 years ago, I no longer considered the possibility that I could "do better." I don't for one minute believe that there is anyone out there who would be a better spouse for me or mother for our children than my wife. But that doesn't mean that I find her "totally hawt." Nor am I disappointed that she doesn't find me "totally hawt." I fully understand you and others have strong sexual attraction as a 'must-have' requirement in a spouse. I have no problem with that, and I can respect that. But it is not the case for my wife and myself.

I hope that you and others who post here on Dimensions can respect the fact that there are people who fall in love, raise families, and have great marriages in spite of a mismatch in size or sexual attractiveness. Beauty really can come in any size because true beauty comes from within and not from without. I believe this to be true because in my opinion, I'm married to the most truly beautiful woman in the entire world and wouldn't trade her for anyone. She just doesn't happen to be a BBW. And 9 years of marriage hasn't turned her into an FFA. Nor has 9 years of marriage stopped me from being an FA. And we're OK with it.


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## chicken legs (Feb 8, 2010)

I agree...that love usually changes preconceived notions of attraction and opens peoples eyes to something they might not have considered before.


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## MaryElizabethAntoinette (Feb 8, 2010)

In the scheme of things... I've dated more thin men than I have fat men, although...
I've found that every thin man I've dated... ended up inadvertently putting on weight while they were with me.

I'm not much of a sexual person. I'm more interested in a mental connection rather than a physical one. But since most guys are more interested in a physical connection... I think they felt that if they put on weight, they'd get my physical attention. And I'll admit... sometimes it worked. 

Before I begin dating someone, they always know that I am almost solely attracted to fat men, so they know what they are getting into when they ask me out. Maybe they think that they can change my mind, or that they will be the exception... but it always turns out that they put on weight. I never ask them to put on weight, and I never pressure them... it just happens. 

So for me, it's much less stressful dating a fat man who loves his size. hehe.


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## CurvaceousBBWLover (Feb 8, 2010)

huge said:


> This is a question for all the male (or female) FA's who have dated thinner members of the opposite sex. Has you're preference for fatness ever put a strain on your relationship? Did he/she feel insecure because of their body type after discovering your preference? I'm currently dating a girl who i believe is extremely beautiful, but sometimes she gets upset that i find bigger girls attractive. I'm sure this question has been asked multiple times on here but any stories/ advice would be greatly appreciated!




I no longer date thin girls but I would not want a girl of any size who was overly insecure about getting fat, especially someone who had to count and recall the fat grams in every meal.


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## TraciJo67 (Feb 8, 2010)

ImSoDead said:


> Traci-Jo, are you referring to me? It looks like you are. If that's the case, I'd like to point out that I'm not the OP. I'm just a guy who shared his personal experience. The OP asked for personal stories/experiences and I shared.
> 
> Just out of curiosity, have you ever heard of a non-FA ever falling in love with and marrying a BBW? Or a non-FFA falling in love with and marrying a BHM? I understand that for you and your husband (and several others) that physical attraction is a very important part of the overall attraction. However, my wife, myself, and my others have fallen in love with and married people who were not their first choice for physical attractiveness. As I mentioned in my first response to you, I'm a BHM but my wife is not an FFA. And that my late father-in-law was publicly critical of my size. Both of us knew full well before I proposed that we were not the physical ideals of each other. And yet I proposed, she accepted, and we've been happily married for 9 years and blessed with two children. And yes we do have sexual intercourse with each other and not with anyone else. For myself, I would never leave my family just so that I can have sex with a larger woman. Ever since I decided to propose to my wife 10 years ago, I no longer considered the possibility that I could "do better." I don't for one minute believe that there is anyone out there who would be a better spouse for me or mother for our children than my wife. But that doesn't mean that I find her "totally hawt." Nor am I disappointed that she doesn't find me "totally hawt." I fully understand you and others have strong sexual attraction as a 'must-have' requirement in a spouse. I have no problem with that, and I can respect that. But it is not the case for my wife and myself.
> 
> I hope that you and others who post here on Dimensions can respect the fact that there are people who fall in love, raise families, and have great marriages in spite of a mismatch in size or sexual attractiveness. Beauty really can come in any size because true beauty comes from within and not from without. I believe this to be true because in my opinion, I'm married to the most truly beautiful woman in the entire world and wouldn't trade her for anyone. She just doesn't happen to be a BBW. And 9 years of marriage hasn't turned her into an FFA. Nor has 9 years of marriage stopped me from being an FA. And we're OK with it.


 
You're right, I was referring to your post. My apologies for the mix-up.

Much of what you say makes sense. It's not my reality; it's yours. I did want to clarify one thing: Although I find physical attraction to be very important, it's not the be-all-to-end-all for me, either. I wouldn't particularly like it if my husband gained a lot of weight, but it wouldn't be a deal-breaker for me, either. For that matter, I couldn't see myself leaving him if he suffered an illness or injury that drastically altered his physical appearance. I love him for so much more than what he is. I do believe that love softens our perceptions of the physical. To *me*, my husband is extremely physically attractive. That may or may not be an 'objective' truth. But it is mine. 

The reason that I commented on your initial posts in the first place was because you acknowledged that if your wife found out that you come here, it would cause a lot of problems. Also, I wondered what about your relationship separates it from the aspect of being good friends or roommates. You've clarified that part of it. I'm still left wondering, though: If both of you are on the same page, relationship-wise, then why the secrecy about coming here?


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## ImSoDead (Feb 9, 2010)

TraciJo67 said:


> I'm still left wondering, though: If both of you are on the same page, relationship-wise, then why the secrecy about coming here?



Because I have to keep my admiration of anyone else' beauty to myself. She gets jealous easily but not in a bad way. And she likes it if I express any jealousy, even in a semi-serious way. She wants to feel that she's the only one in the world that I find attractive. I don't mind indulging her in that. I want her to be happy. I'm sure you tell your husband some fibs or white lies to keep the marriage lubricated just like most couples. I know for a fact that my married guy friends don't want to know that their wives think Brad Pitt (or whoever People Magazine has picked) is hot. And that they don't dare let their wives know that they find Angelina Jolie hot. And most of my friends have a secret pr0n stash. I think that might be a fun topic for another thread -- the little secrets we keep from our spouses and the little lies we tell each other. I think we've all heard about how too much honesty can hurt a relationship.

Do you know of any married men who frequent the Paysite Forums that have wives that are OK with it? Or that belong to any paysites? How would you feel if you knew your husband belonged to some paysites? Would you want to know? Just curious.....


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## Tad (Feb 9, 2010)

TraciJo67 said:


> Tad, that couldn't be further from how I actually feel.



OK, my apologies for mis-reading you, and thanks for clarifying! 




> That seems so cynical to me, Tad. I know that you are portraying it as a realist, as something that you feel is just ... what it is. It seems so clinical and detached to me, though. I hope that my husband doesn't feel this way. We seldom talk about matters of the heart. This reminds me that maybe we should, and I shouldn't just assume that he knows he rocks my world.



Perhaps it is cynical, I don't know. I'm a big believer in romance, but I'm surely not "romantic" in my view on life/human nature. But go read "the hot boys thread" in the Lounge....how many of the posters are ever going to be with someone as 'hot' as posted about there? They may be in love with the partner they are with, they may prefer to be with their partner over anyone else, but it doesn't mean that they necessarily think their partner is the hottest thing on two legs. 

Now, from what I've seen women tend to have love and lust more intertwined than do men (to make a gross generalization), so the love helps feed the lust and the lust helps feed the love, which all lines up with the other things you were saying. But that doesn't mean that you can't be crazy about your partner but still think his body is only moderately attractive, independent of all else that he is. (and on average I get the impression that women put less emphasis on the body itself over the whole package, even before knowing the person).

We shovel the walkway on Sunday morning, even knowing more snow is coming Sunday afternoon. We plant flowers that will die in the fall. We hold doors for perfect strangers, even if nobody has been holding doors for us. We sing when we are all alone. We pour milk into a glass even if nobody else will be drinking from that carton. Heck, we build sand castles below the high tide mark. We do lots of things not because we have to, or because there is a benefit to us, or that it will make some permanent change in the world.....but just because it feels right. Loving the one you are with feels right. It might not be forever, it might not be perfect, it may not be absolutely symmetrical.....but that doesn't make it any less precious, IMO.


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## Tau (Feb 9, 2010)

Dims has murdered the romantic in me.


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## TraciJo67 (Feb 9, 2010)

ImSoDead said:


> Because I have to keep my admiration of anyone else' beauty to myself. She gets jealous easily but not in a bad way. And she likes it if I express any jealousy, even in a semi-serious way. She wants to feel that she's the only one in the world that I find attractive. I don't mind indulging her in that. I want her to be happy. I'm sure you tell your husband some fibs or white lies to keep the marriage lubricated just like most couples. I know for a fact that my married guy friends don't want to know that their wives think Brad Pitt (or whoever People Magazine has picked) is hot. And that they don't dare let their wives know that they find Angelina Jolie hot. And most of my friends have a secret pr0n stash. I think that might be a fun topic for another thread -- the little secrets we keep from our spouses and the little lies we tell each other. I think we've all heard about how too much honesty can hurt a relationship.
> 
> Do you know of any married men who frequent the Paysite Forums that have wives that are OK with it? Or that belong to any paysites? How would you feel if you knew your husband belonged to some paysites? Would you want to know? Just curious.....


 
I don't lie to my husband. I just omit certain facts  Things like, how much that pair of shoes cost or whether an item in question is in fact brand new. Things that make it easier for me, and (I fool myself into believing) for him as well. All the while, I know that it's not right. I know that it is actually, in fact, playing him for something that he's *not* (stupid), while capitalizing on something that he *is* (conflict avoidant). I'm not going to pretend otherwise. Yet I do allow myself the luxury of being human. OTOH, there are some lies that I would never permit myself to tell. I draw the line at misleading him about who I am and what he means to me. And at the heart of things, my husband knows that I didn't get that fabulous pair of leather boots for $20. Please note: I'm not excusing myself for telling the lie. I'm just saying that both of us understand the dynamics of our relationship. He doesn't really want to know, and I don't really want to tell him ... and so long as we both live within a delicate balance -- I don't run us into serious debt, and he trusts that I need a certain autonomy despite his very frugal nature -- it works for us. 

I don't know of any men who frequent the Paysite board with their wives' knowledge and understanding. Doesn't mean that they aren't out there. I do know that my husband admires other women. I don't know if he surfs porn, although I doubt it (I wouldn't care if I found out otherwise). I don't own every aspect of his sexuality, and so long as he doesn't act on his fantasies, I'm more than OK with that. I have a pair of eyes and a healthy libido myself. At times, we will discuss who we find attractive, and why. To answer your question -- it's not that I would dread an answer. I'm honestly just not curious enough to ask. I trust my husband, and I don't consider lust, fantasies, and masturbating to images of other women to be a breach of that trust. I know that some do. I don't. 

Here's where I would consider a problem: Not advertising to me that he has a rich fantasy life? Fine. Actively going out of his way to hide it? Fantasy life encroaching on our sex life? Relying on porn in order to "inspire" himself to be with me? Problem. Huge red flag. I don't aspire to be the only woman he's ever been turned on by, but good goddamn yes, I expect to be someone who does push those buttons for him. He's not my roommate, my best friend, my good buddy. Sexuality is a part of our lives. And I think that I would know if he was coasting, if I wasn't doing it for him. I've certainly known in past relationships; I just had to give my heart time to catch up with my head. Women know. I think we all do, actually. That is a non-negotiable thing for me. Obviously, it isn't for everyone.


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## steely (Feb 9, 2010)

Tau said:


> Dims has murdered the romantic in me.



Sweetie, Dims is not the world. There is romance out there and you will find it, or it will find you. Believe it! :wubu:


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## MrRabbit (Feb 9, 2010)

ImSoDead said:


> Just out of curiosity, have you ever heard of a non-FA ever falling in love with and marrying a BBW? Or a non-FFA falling in love with and marrying a BHM?


First of all: my absolute respect for all members (and especially you) participating in this discussion to keep such a sensitive discussion at such a high level.

To answer the quoted questions: In the non-(F)FA category, you have people who do not have a specific body type preference and people who only prefer thin people. I think that it is not too unusual for people who do not have a distinct body type preference to fall in love with a BBW/BHM, but I don't think there are many people who exclusively prefer a thin partner who fall in love with a BBW/BHM.


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## Gspoon (Feb 10, 2010)

I have dated a few thin girls, but that was before I really knew what I liked. I never really got that rush that I have with a girl who is large. Know what I mean? Like, for me. I see a BBW and my mind wanders to and fro about her, I tend to do the shy look away thing too because I know when I see a pretty BBW, my eyes want to stare.

But with a thin girl, I pretty much just see the girl. I don't see her as someone I want to hop into the sack with right away.

Now don't get me wrong, I find a lot of thin girls attractive. It is just... I cannot really see myself going for a thinner girl. Not because of her looks, but because of who I am.

I like bigger girls, said thin girl may be offended and want to know why how she looks is not good enough. Honestly, it would spawn more problems for me than it would solve. The chances of meeting a girl who will go from knock out gorgeous to the mainstream to knock out gorgeous for us FAs is very slim, JMO.

Now, for an entirely different scenario. Say I meet a thin girl, she and I decide to date, I tell her I like bigger girls and she balloons up from a 120lb frame to a near 200lb frame. She and I have issues and we break up... I go on about my business and she is left in a body that she didn't intentionally want. Is that fair? Is that fair for me to want a girl who was perfectly happy with her weight at the beginning to hate being overweight because of a guy she dated? I don't know. If she likes her weight, more power to her.


Anywho, I digress. I suppose what I am saying is this... I don't really WANT a thin girl, but if love strikes me hard and fast... then I don't care if she is 120 or 790.


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## Webmaster (Feb 24, 2010)

huge said:


> This is a question for all the male (or female) FA's who have dated thinner members of the opposite sex. Has you're preference for fatness ever put a strain on your relationship? Did he/she feel insecure because of their body type after discovering your preference? I'm currently dating a girl who i believe is extremely beautiful, but sometimes she gets upset that i find bigger girls attractive. I'm sure this question has been asked multiple times on here but any stories/ advice would be greatly appreciated!



There was a time in my life long ago when, like most FAs, I was very confused about my preference and what it all meant. I tried to bring up the subject with my thin SO at the time, but she seemed unable to comprehend that fat women could in any way be sexy or competition. She thought it was just some weird trip I was on and suggested I "get it out of my system." I eventually found it did not get out of my system, and I never looked back.


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## mithrandirjn (Feb 28, 2010)

My tastes vary, so while there a lot of bigger women I'll find attractive, I can date a thin girl without it really hurting things.

That said, the first kind of woman I'll be attracted to is one with curves; not even necessarily a fat woman, but a girl with "something on her". It doesn't mean I'd disregard a woman who doesn't fit this mold if she struck me as beautiful in a different way, but that's definitely the way I'm wired.


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## calauria (Mar 5, 2010)

MrRabbit said:


> That is exactly why I do not date thin or even normal sized women. I know my preference will not go away, no matter how perfect she might be on all other aspects. Don't you feel like you are denying an important part of your personality?
> 
> Personally, I would feel very bad if I was with smaller women and would need to come to dimensions to cope with my preference. I would feel as if I was cheating on her. And it would not even satisfy me, because I don't want to look at big women, I want to be with one!



I betcha a lot of the closet FAs who are married to thin/average size women, cheat on their. Read around the boards, a lot of us BBWs and SSBBWs get hit up all the time from guys who "only want sex" betcha these are those closeted FAs married to thin/averaged sized women.


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## calauria (Mar 5, 2010)

ImSoDead said:


> Interesting questions TraciJo and I'll try to answer as best I can. In my case, I'm a BHM but my wife is not an FFA. We discussed our preferences before we got engaged. We got married because we fell in love with the person on the inside (of each other). We both agreed that what a person looks like less important to each of us than who that person is deep inside. We'll be celebrating our 9th anniversary this Friday. I can easily say that I love my wife more than I did when we first got married. I believe she would say the same. Thinking back to our courtship, we met online and communicated via telephone and email. We clicked immediately emotionally and intellectually. We fell in love before meeting each other in person. She's from another country and there were cultural obstacles for both of us to overcome and we did so. The really amazing thing to me is how effortlessly we connected emotionally and intellectually. Prior to meeting her, I had tried every avenue I could find to seek out a BBW for a LTR hopefully leading to marriage. Over the course of 20 years I managed to have some LTR that were wonderful but for a variety of reasons didn't work out. And the breakups were certainly painful. I agree with you that it hurts very deeply to discover that you can be a great partner in a relationship but not marriage material. I was in a very long term tempestuous on again/off again relationship that culminated in a proposal that was accepted but then broken off a couple of months later. I was devastated. I was an emotional wreck for a couple of years. It was only after I had worked through that breakup completely that I met my wife.
> 
> Oh and by the way, it is not fun at all to be a BHM where the in-laws are critical of my size. My late father-in-law made a loud public comment at our wedding about how the pyjama/kurta made me look "tubby." Whenever I look at my Indian wedding photos I'm always reminded of his comment.
> 
> In closing, I believe that two people can fall in love and be happily married solely because of who they are on the inside. But that doesn't mean the marriage is perfect nor does it change one of the other person's physical preferences. I fully support and encourage all single people to seek out partners whom they find attractive. Just be prepared for the fact that like in my case, the best marriage partner might not be your first physical choice.



But where does it say one has to be married to be happy, anyway? I have a friend who I connect very well emotionally and intellectually, as well, but I'm not attracted to him nor am I in love with him. We have dated and I tried to feel that way toward him. I tried to make myself love him, because he was such a good person, would be the perfect husband, would make a perfect father and provider also, therefore because of this, I felt that he deserved to be with someone who was madly inlove with him. 
I never been the type of person to settle anyways. I'd rather not be in any type of romantic relationship with someone I only have lukewarm or barely there feelings for or with someone who has those feelings for me.


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## chicken legs (Mar 5, 2010)

calauria said:


> I betcha a lot of the closet FAs who are married to thin/average size women, cheat on their. Read around the boards, a lot of us BBWs and SSBBWs get hit up all the time from guys who "only want sex" betcha these are those closeted FAs married to thin/averaged sized women.




Cheaters are cheaters and doesn't matter what the SO looks like. If they can get some extra ass on the side...they will.


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## calauria (Mar 5, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> Cheaters are cheaters and doesn't matter what the SO looks like. If they can get some extra ass on the side...they will.



Well, I know that. I was just pointing out that some people cheat, because they settled, instead of waiting for what they were looking for.


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## chicken legs (Mar 6, 2010)

calauria said:


> Well, I know that. I was just pointing out that some people cheat, because they settled, instead of waiting for what they were looking for.



LOL..some people are just too darn horny to hold out.


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## KHayes666 (Mar 8, 2010)

calauria said:


> Well, I know that. I was just pointing out that some people cheat, because they settled, instead of waiting for what they were looking for.



Some people get what they're looking for but still can't get enough. They want something new and exciting, new memories of fun and pleasure they can't get from one person.

The thrill of the chase of something you can't have, the thrill of hooking up with someone you're not supposed to.

Some people call it a disease, I call it human nature. Human's are meant to mate and while some (like me) choose to have one mate, others want several mates to keep fresh.


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## calauria (Mar 8, 2010)

KHayes666 said:


> Some people get what they're looking for but still can't get enough. They want something new and exciting, new memories of fun and pleasure they can't get from one person.
> 
> The thrill of the chase of something you can't have, the thrill of hooking up with someone you're not supposed to.
> 
> Some people call it a disease, I call it human nature. Human's are meant to mate and while some (like me) choose to have one mate, others want several mates to keep fresh.



Yeah, and that is another reason people cheat. People cheat for various reasons...


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## huge (Mar 14, 2010)

Thanks to everyone for your personal experiences/opinions. After being with this girl for awhile I've realized that she's probably going to be my last relationship with a thinner girl. Thats not to say that it could never happen, but after seeing how much being an FA is apart of me I can only see myself being friends with thin girls from now on. I've found that being an FA means so much more to me than just liking fat as a physical attribute. It's really an attitude and a lifestyle. Guess the small ones really just don't do it for me


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## drewedwards (Mar 15, 2010)

I was married to "thinnish" girl. She wasn't rail thin or anything. But petite and certainly within the social norm of what people consider hot. She even did pin-up and fetish modeling. I loved her, but I never felt fully attracted to her. Which was a source of strain. (Although not why the marriage ended.)

After that ended, I played the field for a while. I dated girls of different shapes and sizes. But there was never any physical chemistry towards the thin ones. And sometimes I'd go out with bigger girls, who I thought were hot. But I didn't click with them. 

Of course I'm happy to say, that I'm now engaged to a buxom,chubby, gal who is also my best friend. Ideally, both aspects will click. Which is what happened for me.


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## escapist (Mar 18, 2010)

huge said:


> This is a question for all the male (or female) FA's who have dated thinner members of the opposite sex. Has you're preference for fatness ever put a strain on your relationship? Did he/she feel insecure because of their body type after discovering your preference? I'm currently dating a girl who i believe is extremely beautiful, but sometimes she gets upset that i find bigger girls attractive. I'm sure this question has been asked multiple times on here but any stories/ advice would be greatly appreciated!



I am Bi-sizual, it kind of sucks. I've dated everything from 103 lbs - 320 lbs. So the answer has almost always been yes. Most of them have felt somewhat threatened by my wandering eye. Now that I'm with a bi-sizual FFA she truly understands me. Its nice to finally have peace with myself on the fact that I really just love attractive women. From the tight little hard body's, to the wonderful shape of a wide ass of a voluptuous woman. Its great to enjoy the woman, not just the package she comes in.


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## CPProp (Mar 18, 2010)

Always fancied big girls and only ever dated one really thin girl and got the shock of my life  I did not realise until then my reaction to the feel of living bone  to me holding her was like holding a warm skeleton which more than made me cringe etc and it really put me off her in a big way, even though she was a lovely fun person to be with. Im sure there is a phobic name for it. However reverted to my BBW preference and not had any problems since  wife was a BBW who dieted (not for health reasons) but never went so thin for it to be a problem, knowing my phobia


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## drewedwards (Mar 20, 2010)

My g/f both diets and exercises (two hours a day, 4 times a week) but as she is a plus sized model, she's not doing it to get ultra thin. Just stay healthy. So I support her in this.


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## pinkflower26 (Mar 20, 2010)

bbw rule lol


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## drewedwards (Mar 21, 2010)

calauria said:


> I betcha a lot of the closet FAs who are married to thin/average size women, cheat on their. Read around the boards, a lot of us BBWs and SSBBWs get hit up all the time from guys who "only want sex" betcha these are those closeted FAs married to thin/averaged sized women.




Um, I WAS married to a thin girl and I never cheated. And in fact, she ended up cheating on me. I was a faithful boyfriend and then a good husband. I loved her despite her outward appearance not being my 100 percent ideal. 

I don't think one has anything to do with the other. Either you're the type that runs around or you're not.


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## drewedwards (Mar 21, 2010)

chicken legs said:


> Cheaters are cheaters and doesn't matter what the SO looks like. If they can get some extra ass on the side...they will.



Pretty much. There's a line and some people cross it.


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## fiddypence (Mar 22, 2010)

I dated a fairly thin girl for very long time (5'3" and 120). I made me preference pretty clear from the start and she made her desire not to gain weight just as clear. It worked out well for a number of reasons.

1. I very rarely pressured her to gain, and when I did she knew I was kidding
2. I showed her alot of affection so that she never felt insecure
3. She totally rocked
4. She was confident in her weight enough that we could roleplay. (She'd make comments about being stuffed or how she had gained a pound of something).
5. Her weight fluctuated but, as I told her, I loved it when she gained weight and also when she lost weight because she was happy, so it was all good.

All that said, one of the reasons it ended was because I felt that I would prefer someone bigger.


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## Venom (Mar 22, 2010)

I dated a thin guy a few years ago, we were great together he had an amazing personality and I found him attractive except for his weight (note he was really thin as in when he was to lazy to do dishes he would lay on his back and use his stomach to hold cereal and milk for breakfast... it was creepy) but I was only with him for a few months and his size was part of the reason it ended because it affected our sex life but it was not the main reason we broke up and decided to be friends instead. Iv gone out on a date or two with other thin guys but it never worked out. I prefer BHM and usually date them, but I'm willing to give other guys a chance it just doesn't work out.


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## CurvaceousBBWLover (Mar 23, 2010)

Webmaster said:


> There was a time in my life long ago when, like most FAs, I was very confused about my preference and what it all meant. I tried to bring up the subject with my thin SO at the time, but she seemed unable to comprehend that fat women could in any way be sexy or competition. She thought it was just some weird trip I was on and suggested I "get it out of my system." I eventually found it did not get out of my system, and I never looked back.



You rock! And because you do, we have this wonderful site, which has helped to connect so many people.


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## russianrobot (Mar 31, 2010)

huge said:


> This is a question for all the male (or female) FA's who have dated thinner members of the opposite sex. Has you're preference for fatness ever put a strain on your relationship? Did he/she feel insecure because of their body type after discovering your preference? I'm currently dating a girl who i believe is extremely beautiful, but sometimes she gets upset that i find bigger girls attractive. I'm sure this question has been asked multiple times on here but any stories/ advice would be greatly appreciated!



Insecurity is Insecurity at any size. It seems she might be insecure with any type of other woman your interested in.(or had been) Remember there is way more to a woman than just her looks. Fat or Skinny. Just be kind understanding and work with her. With that said I think everybody has some insecurities it is how we deal with them. That's my opinion at least.  All the best and Good Luck!


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## KHayes666 (Apr 2, 2010)

fiddypence said:


> I dated a fairly thin girl for very long time (5'3" and 120). I made me preference pretty clear from the start and she made her desire not to gain weight just as clear. It worked out well for a number of reasons.
> 
> 1. I very rarely pressured her to gain, and when I did she knew I was kidding
> 2. I showed her alot of affection so that she never felt insecure
> ...



If she totally rocked why did her being 120 pounds even matter? Seriously, why end a relationship with a girl who you're comfortable with because of her weight?

Granted this is only ONE reason and I don't know what the others are because that's none of my business. To me, if you meet someone really good their weight shouldn't matter.


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## fiddypence (Apr 2, 2010)

KHayes666 said:


> If she totally rocked why did her being 120 pounds even matter? Seriously, why end a relationship with a girl who you're comfortable with because of her weight?
> 
> Granted this is only ONE reason and I don't know what the others are because that's none of my business. To me, if you meet someone really good their weight shouldn't matter.



A little context...we dated from age 18 to 21. After graduating it was either commit to each other forever or split up. We were both too young to get married. She wanted to find a religious guy, I thought that maybe I would be more satisfied with someone bigger. It wasn't a reason to end the relationship, but it was a reason to think that maybe if I looked harder I could find someone who was a better match for me.


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## KHayes666 (Apr 2, 2010)

fiddypence said:


> A little context...we dated from age 18 to 21. After graduating it was either commit to each other forever or split up. We were both too young to get married. She wanted to find a religious guy, I thought that maybe I would be more satisfied with someone bigger. It wasn't a reason to end the relationship, but it was a reason to think that maybe if I looked harder I could find someone who was a better match for me.



I agree that committing that young is a very big gamble. You weren't a match however because she wanted a religious guy and you weren't it, had nothing to do with her size. Even if she weighed 350 pounds you still wouldn't have committed that young and you still weren't going to pick up a bible.

For example (and if this sounds like objectifying to anyone reading then stick it up your you know what because I'm making a point), back when I was a single there was this black girl at work who had a body that gives me goosebumps even now. However I could never ask her out because as stereotypical as it sounds, she really was from the "ghetto." All her friends dressed different than I, looked different than I and had different tastes than I. Even though she looked like a million bucks there would be no way she and I would have coexisted as a couple because we had virtually nothing in common. Even if we had bedtime ballyhoo, what were we going to talk about after?

The point I'm making is looks aren't everything. If you can find a match that you can have fun with, talk to about anything and laugh and cry with....why does it matter if that person is 120 pounds or 220 pounds?


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## fiddypence (Apr 2, 2010)

KHayes666 said:


> I agree that committing that young is a very big gamble. You weren't a match however because she wanted a religious guy and you weren't it, had nothing to do with her size. Even if she weighed 350 pounds you still wouldn't have committed that young and you still weren't going to pick up a bible.
> 
> For example (and if this sounds like objectifying to anyone reading then stick it up your you know what because I'm making a point), back when I was a single there was this black girl at work who had a body that gives me goosebumps even now. However I could never ask her out because as stereotypical as it sounds, she really was from the "ghetto." All her friends dressed different than I, looked different than I and had different tastes than I. Even though she looked like a million bucks there would be no way she and I would have coexisted as a couple because we had virtually nothing in common. Even if we had bedtime ballyhoo, what were we going to talk about after?
> 
> The point I'm making is looks aren't everything. If you can find a match that you can have fun with, talk to about anything and laugh and cry with....why does it matter if that person is 120 pounds or 220 pounds?



It matters because I'm human. As much as I'd like to just find someone who was an intellectual match for me, I also need to satisfy myself sexually. The relationship was good while it lasted, but I was growing restless with her persistent thinness and in the long term that might have been a problem for us.


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## KHayes666 (Apr 3, 2010)

fiddypence said:


> It matters because I'm human. As much as I'd like to just find someone who was an intellectual match for me, I also need to satisfy myself sexually. The relationship was good while it lasted, but I was growing restless with her persistent thinness and in the long term that might have been a problem for us.



Well I respect you for honesty. Hope you can find someone who's as fat as she is awesome.


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## Blockierer (Apr 3, 2010)

huge said:


> This is a question for all the male (or female) FA's who have dated thinner members of the opposite sex. Has you're preference for fatness ever put a strain on your relationship? Did he/she feel insecure because of their body type after discovering your preference? I'm currently dating a girl who i believe is extremely beautiful, but sometimes she gets upset that i find bigger girls attractive. I'm sure this question has been asked multiple times on here but any stories/ advice would be greatly appreciated!


Haven't read that you love this *extremely beautiful * girl that is apparent thin. You wrote you find bigger girls attractive. 
So, I wonder why are you dating this girl? What makes this girl extremely beautiful? Means "extremely beautiful", Non-FAs find she desirable?


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## SocialbFly (Apr 3, 2010)

fiddypence said:


> It matters because I'm human. As much as I'd like to just find someone who was an intellectual match for me, I also need to satisfy myself sexually. The relationship was good while it lasted, but I was growing restless with her persistent thinness and in the long term that might have been a problem for us.



you know, Patty from the millionaire matchmaker said, and she is right...if the penis doesnt rise, she isnt the girl for you...physical attraction is not only what draws a man in, but keeps him there, so, good for you, for going with what you know works for you...you saved both of yourselves some heartache.


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## Webmaster (Apr 5, 2010)

huge said:


> This is a question for all the male (or female) FA's who have dated thinner members of the opposite sex. Has you're preference for fatness ever put a strain on your relationship? Did he/she feel insecure because of their body type after discovering your preference? I'm currently dating a girl who i believe is extremely beautiful, but sometimes she gets upset that i find bigger girls attractive. I'm sure this question has been asked multiple times on here but any stories/ advice would be greatly appreciated!



There are a couple of issues here. 

One is your taste and preference. None of us determines what we react to and what attracts us. That is simply so. Now, as far as I am concerned, it makes eminent sense to seek out as your partner someone who appeals to you in every way. If not, there's a dissonance, and there probably will always be a dissonance. 

Second, few people in a relationship enjoy hearing that you find someone else (more) attractive. We often feel compelled to blurt out such observations, but there is rarely ever an upside to it.


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## GutsGirl (Apr 5, 2010)

KHayes666 said:


> The point I'm making is looks aren't everything. If you can find a match that you can have fun with, talk to about anything and laugh and cry with....why does it matter if that person is 120 pounds or 220 pounds?



To some people, FAs and non-FAs alike, weight doesn't matter. To some, it does. If it doesn't, then a person could likely be very happy with a partner who is fat or thin. If it does matter, then I think it's dishonest and unethical to continue the relationship under a false pretense of attraction when there is little or none.


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## Victim (Apr 7, 2010)

I'm not going to give up the life I have for anything, but if circumstances were different or (god forbid) to change, I'd like to see what it would be like with a thin FFA and be the fetishized one. Might be empowering or ???


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## hal84 (May 2, 2010)

I have dated slim girls, BBW, SSBBW, it's all good as long as I like them and they give me something more then just mere sex. I do have a prefernce for bigger girls, but I'm not going to down-grade my time with the skinny ones based on pure physical features. I think that anyone can be attracted to larger or smaller based on the personality and the way they hold themselves. But I would rather be with alittle bigger if given the option.


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## escapist (Jun 17, 2010)

huge said:


> This is a question for all the male (or female) FA's who have dated thinner members of the opposite sex. Has you're preference for fatness ever put a strain on your relationship? Did he/she feel insecure because of their body type after discovering your preference? I'm currently dating a girl who i believe is extremely beautiful, but sometimes she gets upset that i find bigger girls attractive. I'm sure this question has been asked multiple times on here but any stories/ advice would be greatly appreciated!



At first I wasn't sure...I was very attracted to her but I hadn't dated someone under 200 lbs in a very long time (10+ years), and this girl was all of 105 lbs. She had natural a sexiness that just captivated me. So it ended up working very well. I later found out she used to be 200+ lbs, I totally could not believe it. I have a bit of a size contrast fetish too so her being 5'3" and super tiny to me turned me on too.

More to the question, though was in fact the opposite for me. I was with a lager woman who did not understand I'm bisizual, and tiny really turns me on too. I wish I had good advice, but that relationship did not last or end well. I now understand that she had a lot of imagine issues. She has since done WLS. I think she looks better bigger, but she is at least happy with herself now, and it really shows. I certainly wouldn't suggest fixing her. The only thing you can do is probably keep it to your self....hell you might be better off to play the, "Men are pigs card" and just let her think you love all women.


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## lovesgaininggirls (Jun 20, 2011)

huge said:


> This is a question for all the male (or female) FA's who have dated thinner members of the opposite sex. Has you're preference for fatness ever put a strain on your relationship? Did he/she feel insecure because of their body type after discovering your preference? I'm currently dating a girl who i believe is extremely beautiful, but sometimes she gets upset that i find bigger girls attractive. I'm sure this question has been asked multiple times on here but any stories/ advice would be greatly appreciated!



It's only natural that being a Fat Admirer can put a strain on a relationship, particularly a relationship dealing with a thin woman or man. I think that's one of the primary reasons that FAs have a hard time coming "out of the closet" in the first place. It's one thing to be a Fat Admirer and date a genuinely fat girl, it's something entirely different to actually PREFER a full figure while dating someone "normal" or even thin. Once you tell the thin person you're dating that you'd find them even MORE attractive as a fat girl, the fear on their part has to be that at some point you'll act out your fantasy on them. Now, if they harbor a desire to GET fat, now you've got something fantastic. But if the girl wants to remain thin, the relationship is doomed to failure.


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## Giblon (Jun 20, 2011)

lovesgaininggirls said:


> Once you tell the thin person you're dating that you'd find them even MORE attractive as a fat girl, the fear on their part has to be that at some point you'll act out your fantasy on them. Now, if they harbor a desire to GET fat, now you've got something fantastic. But if the girl wants to remain thin, the relationship is doomed to failure.



I think it makes things even worse if she/he was fat before lost weight. For them, it was probably an entirely negative experience, and if anything they tend to be the most zealous anti-fat people around. What REALLY sucks is when you can't help but say that you would like to see them like that, and get an awful response.


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## Zandoz (Jun 20, 2011)

I never actually dated a thin woman, but over the years when single there were a few I got to know well enough to say I'd loved to have dated them. Yes, I prefer larger women...I also prefer women with dark hair...and dark eyes. I married a BBW with dark hair....and sparkling green (almost golden) eyes. In the end personality trumps all other preferences for me.


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## mithrandirjn (Jun 20, 2011)

I just spent a weekend with a tall, thin girl (approximately 5'6'' and around 120-125 pounds) and had a fantastic time. Really, while curves are a big appeal to me, I've never felt turned off by a thin woman unless she was cliche supermodel thin.

Then again, I tend to find that bigger women are something I'm attracted to when I'm, say, looking at pictures, while in real life my tastes are much more varied and diverse.


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## Victim (Jun 27, 2011)

As FAs, fat is what makes US happy, so that is what we seek out. However, when you are in love you are often more concerned with what makes your partner happy, and compromise on some of your own wants.


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## J_Underscore (Jul 26, 2011)

huge said:


> This is a question for all the male (or female) FA's who have dated thinner members of the opposite sex. Has you're preference for fatness ever put a strain on your relationship? Did he/she feel insecure because of their body type after discovering your preference? I'm currently dating a girl who i believe is extremely beautiful, but sometimes she gets upset that i find bigger girls attractive. I'm sure this question has been asked multiple times on here but any stories/ advice would be greatly appreciated!



I have actually never dated a thin girl, but my 'preference for fatness' did put a strain on my relationship with my ex because she really hated being big and got WLS band. She told me she looks in the mirror and just hates the way she looks no matter what she does or what I said. Luckily, my other half isn't like that  she loves it everytime I tell her she's beautiful and VERY SEXY :wubu: .

Its annoying cause I've never been with a skinny girl, so on some level I want to just cause I haven't experienced it, but I KNOW that its not for me haha.

Anyway, The OP started this back in 2009, so I obviously can't give any immediate advice haha. Nevertheless I do have some advice for other people. My gf isn't the biggest girl there is, she isn't 600lbs+ 700lbs+ 800 etc but its not all about size. She's awesome, she's got the body shape I love, she is the prettiest girl I've ever seen, and without getting into details (bedroom etc lol) she's generally better for me than anyone else . I suggest if your gf is worried about you looking at bigger girls, tell her how she's perfect for you.


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