# How Much did You Date?



## superodalisque (May 8, 2011)

this is a question for BBWs and FAs. people make a lot of assumptions about how much people who are fat or admire fat people date. lets see what the demographics are like in our neck of the woods.


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## The Orange Mage (May 8, 2011)

I am a male FA who is 24 years old, and I have dated/been on a date with _____ different people.

(A) two
(B) five
(C) eight
(D) fifteen


The answer is B.


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## superodalisque (May 8, 2011)

i'm a female BBW 48--uncountable


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## CarlaSixx (May 8, 2011)

To be honest, I had boyfriends even back in elementary. My first boyfriend was in grade 2, and went on "real" dates with a boyfriend starting in grade 8. I was a very social person for being such a social outcast. Still am.


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## The Orange Mage (May 8, 2011)

CarlaSixx said:


> To be honest, I had boyfriends even back in elementary. My first boyfriend was in grade 2, and went on "real" dates with a boyfriend starting in grade 8. I was a very social person for being such a social outcast. Still am.



I didn't date until I was, let's see...late 2002...so, 15 years old? Lasted 8 months and I didn't date for another two years after, when I met a girl I dated for nearly 5 years. 9 months later, here I am.

However, 3rd grade is when I discovered girls.  I decided that year that I wanted a cute, kinda-nerdy, definitely-chubby girl to hug and sit next to and hang out on the playground with (and sometimes kiss! )

So really, little has changed.


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## AmazingAmy (May 8, 2011)

I didn't date until I was 20, and even then that was only two one-offs. Had something briefly when I was 21. Nothing since.


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## superodalisque (May 8, 2011)

i was a late bloomer and ran from little boys until i was about 12. well, that was late in alabama. some girls actually got married at that age down there. the first lil boy i remember crushing on me was maybe in 3rd grade or so. he was the school bully and wore retro ducktails. i had to make sure to say retro because i'm old but not THAT old he used to wait for me outside of my bus and scared me to death because i wondered if he would punch me or something. when i figured out he liked me it scared me even more. privately he used to try and force me to hold hands! i found out later that his dad was a klan member the first bf i returned feelings with was in jr high. he was a cute little jock with cute little muscles and a cute lil fro.


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## Green Eyed Fairy (May 8, 2011)

I went on my first "official date" at age 14- it was a double date to the skating rink. Second date was age 15- another double to the circus. These were guys that were friends of guys dating my friends. 

Had my first "official bf" at age 10. We held hands, couple skated together at the skating rink and we "went together" for a grand total of one week. I just wanted to be his gf because one of my friends had....and he broke up with me for another girl. 

My second bf was when I was age 13- I played "King of the Hill" with some of the boys and could manage to knock most of them down....except him 

All we did was hold hands and sit together on the bus. He asked me to "go" with him through a friend....and he broke up with me that same way three weeks later. 

It was the start of a long, illustrious dating career for me (more like I just burned my way through some similar type of hook-ups through my teens- with a few being called boyfriends). However, I didn't have sex with any of them until I got married at age 19. *shrugs*


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## CarlaSixx (May 8, 2011)

The Orange Mage said:


> I didn't date until I was, let's see...late 2002...so, 15 years old? Lasted 8 months and I didn't date for another two years after, when I met a girl I dated for nearly 5 years. 9 months later, here I am.
> 
> However, 3rd grade is when I discovered girls.  I decided that year that I wanted a cute, kinda-nerdy, definitely-chubby girl to hug and sit next to and hang out on the playground with (and sometimes kiss! )
> 
> So really, little has changed.



Ever since the girls my age discovered boys, they've been angry~jealous at the fact that the nerdy chubby girl seemed to always get the attention of the cute boys more than the "normal pretty girls" did.  

I prefered the dorky boys cuz they always had more to talk about. Not much has changed since then


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## asmiletoday (May 8, 2011)

I have my first official bf at 14/15 and he was a doll. Super cute, played guitar, and absolutely thought the world of me. Definitely not my soul mate. lol

I didn't date officially anyone else until college, where I went on a lot of 1st, 2nd, and 3rd dates- nothing I would commit too. 

I feel stuck in that same pattern now. Just not meeting guys that are smart enough for me. I guess I'm an education snob? Give me geeks or give me a night alone with lifetime and ice cream!


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## penguin (May 8, 2011)

Official dating always seemed like such an American thing. I read about it in those awful teen romances I used to love (Sweet Dreams, Sweet Valley High, etc), saw it on American TV shows and movies, but in high school here, that wasn't how it was done. People would start hanging out together at school, would maybe go to the movies with a group of friends, and just start being a couple. Official dating didn't really happen til adulthood for a lot of people I know, and even then, it was more common to just start hanging out with someone and take it from there.

I had my first date at 18, and he then became my first boyfriend. He wasn't my first kiss or first person I made out with, though. I've had a handful of proper official type dates, but most of my interactions haven't been like that. I dated more after 2003, when my 3 year relationship ended, than I did before that. I probably could have dated more if I wanted to, but I didn't find many that floated my boat. Or I did, and they weren't interested and/or available.


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## CarlaSixx (May 8, 2011)

I'd also like to note that the college part doesn't apply as I'm a high school drop out, and I'm sure I'm not the only person who never went to college~university.


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## Hathor (May 8, 2011)

Dating is boring and a waste of time. I'd much rather talk online (including video chat) with like minded people. If something develops and we meet, great. If not, oh well.


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## penguin (May 8, 2011)

asmiletoday said:


> I feel stuck in that same pattern now. Just not meeting guys that are smart enough for me. I guess I'm an education snob? Give me geeks or give me a night alone with lifetime and ice cream!



OH yes, I love an intelligent man. Intelligence and humour are such huge turn ons for me. Someone who _knows_ stuff. I don't care what, but someone who's got that urge to learn does it for me. Intelligence is sexy, geeks and nerds tend to be intelligent, so therefore geeks and nerds are sexy. Brains over brawn any day.


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## superodalisque (May 8, 2011)

CarlaSixx said:


> I'd also like to note that the college part doesn't apply as I'm a high school drop out, and I'm sure I'm not the only person who never went to college~university.



yeah i should have put college aged.


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## CarlaSixx (May 8, 2011)

superodalisque said:


> yeah i should have put college aged.



I'm just being a butthead  Sorry.


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## penguin (May 8, 2011)

CarlaSixx said:


> I'd also like to note that the college part doesn't apply as I'm a high school drop out, and I'm sure I'm not the only person who never went to college~university.



I've attempted uni four times, dropped out four times due to various reasons. I wasn't going to get a job in a particular field, but to learn about stuff I was interested in. I'd like to go back one day, when the time and money is right.



Hathor said:


> Dating is boring and a waste of time. I'd much rather talk online (including video chat) with like minded people. If something develops and we meet, great. If not, oh well.



Getting to know each other online works for me too. Being a stay at home mother, I have limited funds and babysitting available. I like getting to know the other person before things move up a level. I'm more likely to meet someone who has what I'm looking for and interested in, and is interested in me, this way than randomly on the street or through friends.


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## superodalisque (May 8, 2011)

CarlaSixx said:


> I'm just being a butthead  Sorry.



nope not being a butthead. i should pay more attention. you are a smart girl college or no. you don't need the paper to be able to say that.


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## asmiletoday (May 8, 2011)

Hathor said:


> Dating is boring and a waste of time. I'd much rather talk online (including video chat) with like minded people. If something develops and we meet, great. If not, oh well.



Isn't that just technologically enabled dating? Same purpose- to get to know the person. You just don't have to climb out the bathroom window if it tanks.


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## Christov (May 8, 2011)

Started dating at 16. 

Haven't done so since, but I've enjoyed a good three years of hedonism.


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## ashmamma84 (May 8, 2011)

I remember there was a little boy in Kindergarten that would always want to hold my hand as we walked outside for recess. Then I started dating casually (well, I don't know if I'd call it really dating as we couldn't drive yet) in jr. high. 

More serious relationships came along in high school and I eventually broke them off because that was also around the time I accepted my sexuality and came out. I started dating my first serious gf my senior year of high school. Coming out was the most freeing thing I did re: my sexuality.


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## starcrossed (May 8, 2011)

Technically I started dating in middle school but any of the guys prior to my freshman year of high school just really aren't worth mentioning. Admittedly I've also gained weight since then, but it's not as if the prospects have necessarily dried up either. 



penguin said:


> OH yes, I love an intelligent man. Intelligence and humour are such huge turn ons for me. Someone who _knows_ stuff. I don't care what, but someone who's got that urge to learn does it for me. Intelligence is sexy, geeks and nerds tend to be intelligent, so therefore geeks and nerds are sexy. Brains over brawn any day.



AGREED.


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## PunkyGurly74 (May 8, 2011)

honestly, I am not even sure I have ever been on a date besides once or twice and then I never saw them again. My ex...I don't even know if we dated...or really since he was having sex with other women the entire time we were together....and it was long distance ...was it really dating or just playing at it ? I honestly have never really dated...had that great experience where someone asks you out. It usually is just a mutual meeting and i end up having to pay for my share and trust me..it is never more than drinks lol

To me, dating is about as real as unicorns and narwhales. lol


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## Hathor (May 8, 2011)

asmiletoday said:


> Isn't that just technologically enabled dating? Same purpose- to get to know the person. You just don't have to climb out the bathroom window if it tanks.



Hmm, I guess so. I get to sit in my PJs in front of the computer chatting with him and a bunch of other people at once. haha Never looked at it that way before though.


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## Ample Pie (May 8, 2011)

SSBBW, 35. had boyfriends when I was little--but you know how that is. Had my first official date in 8th grade (one of the TMNT movies and ice cream whoop whoop), had my first serious relationship at 18 so through my senior year and part of college (she broke my heart). Started dating guys when I was around 23. I have dated 3 women, two of them seriously. I have dated a lot of guys...if we're talking the whole spectrum of dating from casual to serious. I'd say somewhere in the neighborhood of 19.


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## The Orange Mage (May 8, 2011)

Hathor said:


> Hmm, I guess so. I get to sit in my PJs in front of the computer chatting with him and a bunch of other people at once. haha Never looked at it that way before though.



I would TOTALLY go one some sort of date where PJs were required attire.

I'm imagining some sort of dinner theater where instead of a live performance and tables and nice food it's pizza and DvD and semi-enclosed "cubicles" with a recliner, sofa, and coffee table...

Wait, that's pretty much the same thing as what might be a eighth or ninth date at my place/her place? :huh: I wouldn't know, those I've "dated" tend to quickly dispose with actual "dates" and just hang out a lot.


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## asmiletoday (May 8, 2011)

Hathor said:


> Hmm, I guess so. I get to sit in my PJs in front of the computer chatting with him and a bunch of other people at once. haha Never looked at it that way before though.



Seriously, I swear I am jealous of how many women up in this forum are ballers. The men be all upons.


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## S13Drifter (May 8, 2011)

I dated a few times in high school, but never really took dating seriously till I was in college. Had a great fling with my first real bbw out there. Since then its been a few dates here and there. Was off and on with this one girl but thats over now. So I guess back in the game?


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## CarlaSixx (May 8, 2011)

The Orange Mage said:


> I would TOTALLY go one some sort of date where PJs were required attire.
> 
> I'm imagining some sort of dinner theater where instead of a live performance and tables and nice food it's pizza and DvD and semi-enclosed "cubicles" with a recliner, sofa, and coffee table...
> 
> Wait, that's pretty much the same thing as what might be a eighth or ninth date at my place/her place? :huh: I wouldn't know, those I've "dated" tend to quickly dispose with actual "dates" and just hang out a lot.



There's a movie theatre in my city that hosts a night like that at least once a season. You go around 10:30 for the movie in PJs and some go with stuffies and everything, and they buy food from the bar across the street, and everyone get a free medium sized bag of popcorn for the movie. It's pretty awesome. I went once with friends. Definitely a cute couple's outing.


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## Ample Pie (May 8, 2011)

No lie, my first date with a fellow back in 2002 was sleeping. We wanted to do something we both liked and sleeping seemed fun. So he brought his PJs over, we watched a couple of films, and then we slept! It was a fun date.

Also, I told a couple of friends of mine recently that I want a PJ wedding--everyone shows up in their most comfy clothes and we eat pajama party food. etc etc etc


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## tinkerbell (May 8, 2011)

I voted that I started dating in HS. 

I went on one date with this dorky guy my sister set me up with when I was a senior.

And then the following month, I met my husband. And we've been together ever since. So, really, he's the only guy I ever really dated. 

Guys have never really been interested in me. I've never been "hit" on, or checked out!


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## Punkin1024 (May 8, 2011)

I am one of the rare ones I guess. Never dated in High School, not because I didn't want to, but because I was never asked out on a date. I did not have an official date until I was 20 years old. I was fat in High School and dropped 50 pounds in College. I suppose you could say that there were no FA's in my neck of the woods.


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## Hathor (May 8, 2011)

asmiletoday said:


> Seriously, I swear I am jealous of how many women up in this forum are ballers. The men be all upons.



Ballers? WTF??? LOL =D


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## asmiletoday (May 8, 2011)

Hathor said:


> Ballers? WTF??? LOL =D



Hahaha I am anything but normal. Left of center? That's me!


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## Ho Ho Tai (May 8, 2011)

I never did any real dating throughout high school and college. Too shy, and too busy 'following my muse' through physics and math and into grad school astronomy. But once I got there, I discovered three things: computers (1960 - an IBM 650. Look THAT one up), girls, and the fact that I didn't really want to sit on a cold mountain top the rest of my life. I can't say that my earlier days were totally devoid of female companionship. I had a number of "friends with privileges" things going on - enough to give me a taste of my life to come.

I still didn't date much after grad school either - but enough to have been married - twice (currently to the lovely Mrs Ho Ho) for a total of nearly 50 years.

So I didn't date much, but at age 73, I sure feel dated.


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## Kamily (May 8, 2011)

I started dating in high school at the age of 14. I dated a couple guys but nothing serious. But once I graduated things really took off. Then I spent way too many years being married. Now its back to dating again and Ive hit a dry spell. Lots of online flirting but nothing promising.


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## ThatFatGirl (May 8, 2011)

I'll probably vote that I didn't start dating until my 30's but I was actually 28, six years after leaving college. I was ready to pop. I had my first date, first kiss, first sexual encounter all on the first night. I didn't officially lose my virginity until a few weeks later. I went most of my teens and 20's feeling like an ugly, unlovable freak. I didn't think anyone would ever be interested in me, so when I discovered the internet and a local bbw group, I went a bit crazy (promiscuous) and "dated" a lot for a while until I met someone I was with for a couple of years. By my early to mid-30's I guess the novelty wore off and I dated only here and there. I was in one other serious year-long relationship that ended and a year later I met my husband.


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## fluffyandcute (May 8, 2011)

I started dating when I was 15 years old. That was my first love :wubu: Been loving men since LOL!!!


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## mel (May 8, 2011)

I didnt "date" until after I was divorced..start of my thirties


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## LadyDeelicious (May 9, 2011)

PunkyGurly74 said:


> honestly, I am not even sure I have ever been on a date besides once or twice and then I never saw them again. My ex...I don't even know if we dated...or really since he was having sex with other women the entire time we were together....and it was long distance ...was it really dating or just playing at it ? I honestly have never really dated...had that great experience where someone asks you out. It usually is just a mutual meeting and i end up having to pay for my share and trust me..it is never more than drinks lol
> 
> To me, dating is about as real as unicorns and narwhales. lol



I pretty much felt the same way up until recently. My first boyfriend, there was no dating involved, I was 16 he was 20. My first date didn't come until after I was 18. Then no "dates" again until May of 2010. I have gone on quite a few since then, I don't "give it up" on the first date and *poof* they never call again. Oh well, their loss!


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## WomanlyHips (May 9, 2011)

Very little in high school, slightly more actively in my 20's. Ended up marrying my Ex and now I'm back on the dating scene, which is brutual! I date more now then I ever have in my life. I had three dates this weekend, one that I'd definately hope to see again.


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## Lovelyone (May 9, 2011)

I dated only one person in high school. I knew him from when we were little children but he moved away. Then his family moved back here when he was in 10th grade. When I ran across him the second time he was much nicer than the pesky kid I once knew. We were fast friends, dated in groups with others, then realized that we were madly in love with one another. We were together for a couple of years, were engaged to be married when I was 19 but his car was hit by a train 6 months before our wedding day. It took me 7 years to want to try to date again. I dated here and there sporadically until my mid thirties and then dropped out of the dating scene when I met someone who I had a 3 year tumultuous relationship with. Since then I have only dated sporadically and havent been in any serious relationships.


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## hrd (May 9, 2011)

I'm in the never dated camp. Call me independent, or maybe self-focused and inflexible, but for as long as I can remember, I've had Plans and Things To Do -- yes, they're that significant in my head =) -- and dating and relationships never really made it on my radar. I'm not opposed to relationships or marriage, and lately I've been thinking it would be fun to have a partner in crime, but I'm comfortable being single and have had lots of practice at it, so someone would really have to turn my head or make it kindergarten-level obvious that he was interested. What can I say? Half the time my head's in the clouds. =)


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## Forgotten_Futures (May 9, 2011)

I've been on... one date in my lifetime.

I'm a 25 year old male FA. The girl was not a BBW. I didn't care. = P

I simply don't have much interest in dating. I flirt a lot, but that's about it.


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## LovelyLiz (May 9, 2011)

Like a few others said, I also had several little elementary school boyfriends, but didn't really date really until my 20s. In high school I did go to prom with a guy I knew, but it was really just as friends. Because I was fat, I did not believe that any guy could consider me as a romantic option - though looking back on it now with my 30-something year old eyes, I can recognize a few guys who actually did express interest or have a crush on me during high school (at times rather blatantly - one drew a tasteful and relatively accurate picture of me in a bathing suit, another must have asked me out like 5 times without me realizing he was interested).

I had my first "official" boyfriend when I was 25 and in grad school. He was a really nice guy, but I didn't click with him - part of me just felt like I should probably have a boyfriend since I was 25 and hadn't yet. I also went on a handful of dates with a few guys I met online during my early-mid-20s.

When I finished grad school I started doing a lot more dating. So, my late 20s and early 30s were filled with quite a lot of dates, really, most of them with guys I met online (though in the past year or two also met some guys from bbw club(s), etc.). Lots of 1-2 date things with guys I didn't click with, and a handful of guys I went out with more times or dated casually for a couple months or so. And now I'm dating just one person, and I am in love, and I hope not to date anyone else ever again.


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## Emma (May 9, 2011)

I've not really done much dating dating, not because I didn't have offers but because thats not how it is really done here (at least not with my generation). Its hard to explain how people become couples but theres not really the dating, official rules and all that stuff like there is in America. (Though it does seem to be starting these days)

However I did have boyfriends from a young age.


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## Emma (May 9, 2011)

asmiletoday said:


> Seriously, I swear I am jealous of how many women up in this forum are ballers. The men be all upons.



I don't know what any of that means lol


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## Tad (May 9, 2011)

I voted 'didn't date' in high school, but I was involved with a couple of young women during my first couple of years, but (as others have said) it was more doing things in groups, although you were seen as a couple. Neither one went very far, however (in one case I think I was simply still too young/immature to form much of a connection, in the other we moved out of the country before it got too far). After we moved it took me a long time to come out of my shell, and I didn't really meet anyone I was all that interested in, so didn't even make an effort to date.

In university I really didn't worry about romance much until my final year--a mixture of being busy, being in a program where there were very few women, and being in a co-op program that had me alternating between school and varirous work locations every four months. In my final year I figure I should make some time to meet more women and go on some real dates. And I did....or at least got to know one young woman, started dating her, fell in love, and haven't needed to date anyone else in the over 20 years since then.

In short, gotta love beginners luck!


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## recyclelab (May 9, 2011)

i have never been on a date ,here i am like a ill person "stay away from the big girl".......no one ever ask me..once a guy tell me that if i loose 25 kilos he maybe go out with me...


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## Emma (May 9, 2011)

recyclelab said:


> i have never been on a date ,here i am like a ill person "stay away from the big girl".......no one ever ask me..once a guy tell me that if i loose 25 kilos he maybe go out with me...



I'd imagine that you wouldn't really want to date that man anyway. Give it time. I don't know what age you are or your background but believe me once you get a bit of self confidence those boys won't know what hit them!


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## GunnerFA (May 9, 2011)

Never dated in highschool. My first 'date' neither I nor the girl considered a date. She was a friend from highschool so we called it a catch-up. I've had a number of these catch-ups with various female friends in my university years but none were ever with the intent of taking our relationship past friendship. As far as a proper date, I've probably been on two. The first one I got turned down when asking if the girl wanted to make our friendship into something more serious. We are still good friends though. The second was with a bbw last year at in September, and she became my first 'official' girlfriend. Broke up a few months later however


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## instantkarma (May 9, 2011)

I was 20 when I first started dating. I was in such a rush to start dating, but when I look back on it I wish I had waited until I was more ready.


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## CastingPearls (May 9, 2011)

My first boyfriend and sexual playmate was built in from birth. He was the son of one of my mother's best friends, my age, adorable and the prototype for my first 'type' (now there are quite a few types that appeal to me) and we used to take baths together, played doctor together, and until he moved away when I was 12 were basically each other's anatomical 'projects'.

We basically broke it off after our moms wouldn't drive us four cities over for 'playdates' and I started crushing on a badboy jock in high school when I was still in elementary school. After him I dated much older boys and a couple of teachers. Boys my own age, in school at least, were not at all willing to stick their neck out to admit to a romantic interest in me, I had no patience or compassion for that nonsense, although a lot were friends and some of those friends DID like me romantically but I was too clueless because they were too subtle and I wasn't too savvy on shy subtleties at that age.


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## Zandoz (May 9, 2011)

Wellllll....Here goes.

Until I was 28, dating was not a remotely conceivable possibility. When my dad was alive he would have made my and whom ever I dated lives miserable (long story). By then I was thoroughly entrenched in the life of a work-a-holic...50-60 hour per week "career" job, helping a friend run his store on the weekends, and when not at the store we were doing DJ work. Sometime around 35, a co-worker convinced me to sign up with the little local matchmaking/dating service that her daughter was running. Over the next few years there were a several arranged dates that obviously were dead ends...and then one that turned into an about 8 month relationship that ended badly. At around 38 I said to hell with this (dating). I met "HER" accidentally online when I was 39, and was married on my 40th birthday, 14+ years ago.


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## Diana_Prince245 (May 9, 2011)

I started dating when I was 14, and I've dated mostly regularly ever since. Currently in the midst of a self-imposed break because I'm in nursing school and I don't have enough time for a relationship, at least not enough time to do it right. I've had three relatively serious relationships -- one in college, one when I was about 27 and all my college friends were getting married, and one when I was 31.


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## bigmac (May 9, 2011)

The statistics are pretty much as I suspected. Over half of the people in this SA community sample started dating late (i.e. after high school). A significant number have never dated or didn't start until their 30s.

This tends to support my observation that a significant percentage of the SA community reach relationship milestones later than the general population. This of course has psychological implications.


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## 1love_emily (May 9, 2011)

I say I never dated in high school, only because I don't count my first boyfriend as actually dating. He only dated me to make another girl jealous, and he did NOT like my body. He commented on other girls bodies in comparison to mine. BUT WHATEVER IM DONE WITH HIM. 

I'm saying I'm starting to date in college because I am dating someone now, and I'm just 7 short days away from being done with high school


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## Ample Pie (May 9, 2011)

bigmac said:


> The statistics are pretty much as I suspected. Over half of the people in this SA community sample started dating late (i.e. after high school). A significant number have never dated or didn't start until their 30s.
> 
> This tends to support my observation that a significant percentage of the SA community reach relationship milestones later than the general population. This of course has psychological implications.



where is your similar poll of non-fat folk?

the only psychological implications are about you and your assumptions.


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## CastingPearls (May 9, 2011)

Um......why is 'I Never Dated In College' listed twice?


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## luscious_lulu (May 10, 2011)

bigmac said:


> The statistics are pretty much as I suspected. Over half of the people in this SA community sample started dating late (i.e. after high school). A significant number have never dated or didn't start until their 30s.
> 
> This tends to support my observation that a significant percentage of the SA community reach relationship milestones later than the general population. This of course has psychological implications.



For the statement above to be true, you'd have to poll the general population. You'd also need a bigger sample size. 79 people are not enough to come to a conclusion. As of the time of this post, over 50% of respondents had started in highschool.


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## aocutiepi (May 10, 2011)

I think the reason I didn't go on my first date until college was mostly to do with cultural/personality differences than because I was fat. I grew up in a rural town with classic conservative values and I was raised by parents who taught me that the world was a lot bigger and maybe there was more than just the "[blank] County" way (I'll say it... my parents are kinda hippies in many a way). I was also a whip-smart, nerdy academic when it wasn't cool for girls to care about anything except planning their families and going to college long enough to get that Mrs degree. 

My skinny younger sister, who was never larger than a size six until she got married and pregnant, didn't date in our high school until the last half of her senior year. She was a lot like me in personality respects and intelligence but she was THIN! and FLIRTY! and even _she_ couldn't land a guy until the foreign exchange student asked her out.

Looking back, I know that there were guys in high school who liked me. But if they were too cowardly to be with a woman who challenged them, then I'm GLAD I didn't date in high school.


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## Scorsese86 (May 10, 2011)

I was on my first date when I was 14. It's all gone downhill ever since.


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## bigmac (May 10, 2011)

luscious_lulu said:


> For the statement above to be true, you'd have to poll the general population. You'd also need a bigger sample size. 79 people are not enough to come to a conclusion. As of the time of this post, over 50% of respondents had started in highschool.



I got an A+ in statistics -- I'm aware of the need for a control group (however, I'm most certain that substantially more than 50% of the general population started dating before the end of high school). A sample size of 79 is more than sufficient for initial analysis. Also, its very clear that a significant percentage of the sample experienced delayed dating (the fact that many didn't isn't really relevant).


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## asmiletoday (May 10, 2011)

bigmac said:


> I got an A+ in statistics -- I'm aware of the need for a control group (however, I'm most certain that substantially more than 50% of the general population started dating before the end of high school). A sample size of 79 is more than sufficient for initial analysis. Also, its very clear that a significant percentage of the sample experienced delayed dating (the fact that many didn't isn't really relevant).



Okay I am going to math nerd out for a second. I have a master's in statistics.... It's not so much a control group is needed as this poll is only relevant for people who participate in size acceptance communities. It's biased, that's all. It could be biased toward early or later dating patterns, but there is no way to tell with out doing a random sample of the entire fat population ( whether they accept their size or not). Then, we'd also have to look at whether or not that person was fat or not at the time they first dated. And then compare that to the results here. And even then the time of day, interpretation of questions and conditions under which a person takes a survey could affect results. Like for example, maybe people have interpreted "dating" differently. Clearly dating has not been defined well enough so that everyone has the same perspective when answering the question. 

Basically, in short- being statistically accurate is hard. So we should stop trying to make a poll a survey- which it isn't  It's a fun insight into the members of the community and a reflection of when they started what they consider dating.


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## Ample Pie (May 10, 2011)

asmiletoday said:


> Okay I am going to math nerd out for a second. I have a master's in statistics.... It's not so much a control group is need as this poll is only relevant for people who participate in size acceptance communities. It's biased, that's all. It could be biased toward early or later dating patterns, but there is no way to tell with out doing a random sample of the entire fat population ( whether they accept their size or not). Then, we'd also have to look at whether or not that person was fat or not at the time they first dated. And then compare that to the results here. And even then the time of day, interpretation of questions and conditions under which a person takes a survey could affect results. Like for example, maybe people have interpreted "dating" differently. Clearly dating has not been defined well enough so that everyone has the same perspective when answering the question.
> 
> Basically, in short- being statistically accurate is hard. So we should stop trying to make a poll a survey- which it isn't  It's a fun insight into the members of the community and a reflection of when they started what they consider dating.



can't rep you, but I would!


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## LovelyLiz (May 10, 2011)

asmiletoday said:


> Okay I am going to math nerd out for a second. I have a master's in statistics.... It's not so much a control group is need as this poll is only relevant for people who participate in size acceptance communities. It's biased, that's all. It could be biased toward early or later dating patterns, but there is no way to tell with out doing a random sample of the entire fat population ( whether they accept their size or not). Then, we'd also have to look at whether or not that person was fat or not at the time they first dated. And then compare that to the results here. And even then the time of day, interpretation of questions and conditions under which a person takes a survey could affect results. Like for example, maybe people have interpreted "dating" differently. Clearly dating has not been defined well enough so that everyone has the same perspective when answering the question.
> 
> Basically, in short- being statistically accurate is hard. So we should stop trying to make a poll a survey- which it isn't  It's a fun insight into the members of the community and a reflection of when they started what they consider dating.



That's a really really great point - thank you for math nerding out.  I could imagine that perhaps the fat people that get involved in online SA communities (such as this one) might skew toward a particular set of experiences within the larger population of fat people (in a lot of ways - not just dating). Not that we're all the same, just that it might not be a fully representative sampling (like you said). Major props to you.


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## petunia805 (May 10, 2011)

I dated plenty. First "real" Boyfriend at 14. I tended to date the Jockish type in High School...

Also, I've always been a fatty, but getting a date was never a problem for me. And I dated who I wanted to date.


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## luscious_lulu (May 10, 2011)

bigmac said:


> I got an A+ in statistics -- I'm aware of the need for a control group (however, I'm most certain that substantially more than 50% of the general population started dating before the end of high school). A sample size of 79 is more than sufficient for initial analysis. Also, its very clear that a significant percentage of the sample experienced delayed dating (the fact that many didn't isn't really relevant).



Please, you are getting a small sample of people who belong to a message board. You cannot say with any certainty that this is representative of the general fat population. Stop using a stupid poll to justify a biased opinion. Find me real research/data to support your claims then I'll believe you.


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## luscious_lulu (May 10, 2011)

asmiletoday said:


> Okay I am going to math nerd out for a second. I have a master's in statistics.... It's not so much a control group is needed as this poll is only relevant for people who participate in size acceptance communities. It's biased, that's all. It could be biased toward early or later dating patterns, but there is no way to tell with out doing a random sample of the entire fat population ( whether they accept their size or not). Then, we'd also have to look at whether or not that person was fat or not at the time they first dated. And then compare that to the results here. And even then the time of day, interpretation of questions and conditions under which a person takes a survey could affect results. Like for example, maybe people have interpreted "dating" differently. Clearly dating has not been defined well enough so that everyone has the same perspective when answering the question.
> 
> Basically, in short- being statistically accurate is hard. So we should stop trying to make a poll a survey- which it isn't  It's a fun insight into the members of the community and a reflection of when they started what they consider dating.



I should have read further before I posted.


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## Pitch (May 10, 2011)

Done my fair share of dating with either gender. Some long term, some only a few weeks. My weight has never stopped me from dating, though my territorial tendencies and other issues have. I shove people away.

Also:


> Please, you are getting a small sample of people who belong to a message board. You cannot say with any certainty that this is representative of the general fat population. Stop using a stupid poll to justify a biased opinion. Find me real research/data to support your claims then I'll believe you.



Thank you. So much. I didn't even need to say what I was going to because you dropped this. <3


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## Your Plump Princess (May 10, 2011)

I'm 21 and I've never been on a date.


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## Saoirse (May 10, 2011)

uhmmm

never dated in high school cause I thought boys were icky. Snagged me a serious bf when I started college, lasted a little over 2 years. Havent had a long term relationship since (Im 25) but Ive been on many dates with 5 or so guys and slept with all of them. i move fast! hahahaha




what can I say other than i love sex?



and now i cant help but think about them all. mmmmmmm i had some hot times!


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## Adrian (May 11, 2011)

I was 17½ when I first dated. My first girlfriend Noel introduced me to my wife. I see Noel whenever she comes west to visit her family. She is a close, life long friend!


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## bigmac (May 11, 2011)

asmiletoday said:


> Okay I am going to math nerd out for a second. I have a master's in statistics.... It's not so much a control group is needed as this poll is only relevant for people who participate in size acceptance communities. It's biased, that's all. It could be biased toward early or later dating patterns, but there is no way to tell with out doing a random sample of the entire fat population ( whether they accept their size or not). Then, we'd also have to look at whether or not that person was fat or not at the time they first dated. And then compare that to the results here. And even then the time of day, interpretation of questions and conditions under which a person takes a survey could affect results. Like for example, maybe people have interpreted "dating" differently. Clearly dating has not been defined well enough so that everyone has the same perspective when answering the question.
> 
> Basically, in short- being statistically accurate is hard. So we should stop trying to make a poll a survey- which it isn't  It's a fun insight into the members of the community and a reflection of when they started what they consider dating.



Its a time honored social science tradition to claim bias whenever you don't like a finding. For people who don't like a particular type of data there is always bias to be found. If social scientists used only bias free data (if there is such a thing) they would have very little to study. 

Obviously this is an informal survey -- no one is going to use this data in their thesis. That doesn't mean the data is totally useless. When data (even informal data) supports prior observations its evidence that the prior observations are correct. I have previously stated (several times on this board) that it was my experience that a significant percentage of people in the SA community achieved relationship milestones later than usual. This poll (which I didn't post) appears to confirm my prior observations.


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## bigmac (May 11, 2011)

petunia805 said:


> I dated plenty. First "real" Boyfriend at 14. I tended to date the Jockish type in High School...
> 
> Also, I've always been a fatty, but getting a date was never a problem for me. And I dated who I wanted to date.



You're hard to say no to.


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## bmann0413 (May 11, 2011)

Never dated.


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## HeavyDuty24 (May 11, 2011)

i had a girlfreind when i was in middle school,my first girlfreind was a bbw.:happy: then i had a "girlfreind" in 2nd grade but that wasn't serious as we all know.LOL 2nd grade girlfreind was a bbw too.lol


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## asmiletoday (May 11, 2011)

bigmac said:


> Its a time honored social science tradition to claim bias whenever you don't like a finding. For people who don't like a particular type of data there is always bias to be found. If social scientists used only bias free data (if there is such a thing) they would have very little to study.
> 
> Obviously this is an informal survey -- no one is going to use this data in their thesis. That doesn't mean the data is totally useless. When data (even informal data) supports prior observations its evidence that the prior observations are correct. I have previously stated (several times on this board) that it was my experience that a significant percentage of people in the SA community achieved relationship milestones later than usual. This poll (which I didn't post) appears to confirm my prior observations.



Thanks for insulting my career. I love a good morning insult, gets the blood flowing. I'm going to take this moment to revel in the fact I know you're wrong and then I am going to forget all about your comments. And... forgotten.

As part of the keep the peace movement, can we get back to the fun parts of this thread? Debate is good for a forum, arguments and insults aren't.


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## PunkyGurly74 (May 11, 2011)

Asmiletoday:

You are correct in how people define dating. When I say I haven't really it does not mean I haven't had sex..it just means that romantic dating, flowers, chocolates, and guys who plan something nice for the two of you to do together doesn't exist in my world....much like unicorns. Men, in general, have had no desire to be seen in public with me. Sooo..makes dating sort of hard. But, they have no problem telling me they want to have sex with me...so...bleep them.


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## asmiletoday (May 11, 2011)

PunkyGurly74 said:


> Asmiletoday:
> 
> Men, in general, have had no desire to be seen in public with me. .



Where do you live, so I can make sure to never move there? Because, seriously I cant imagine anyone being ashamed to be seen with you. Seriously, as much as I love men, sometimes their actions make me so angry.


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## J34 (May 11, 2011)

I haven't really dated. I just rationalize in my mind that after college and work I really have no time for other things to deal with. Although I realized that it is my personality that scares others


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## Zandoz (May 11, 2011)

PunkyGurly74 said:


> Asmiletoday:
> 
> You are correct in how people define dating. When I say I haven't really it does not mean I haven't had sex..it just means that romantic dating, flowers, chocolates, and guys who plan something nice for the two of you to do together doesn't exist in my world....much like unicorns. Men, in general, have had no desire to be seen in public with me. Sooo..makes dating sort of hard. But, they have no problem telling me they want to have sex with me...so...bleep them.



Just for the record, I'd be proud to be seen with you in public, anywhere and any time, no sex strings attached.


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## darlingzooloo (May 11, 2011)

Your Plump Princess said:


> I'm 21 and I've never been on a date.



XD I'm 23 and same!


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## darlingzooloo (May 11, 2011)

I'm 23 and only just started trying to date this past year seriously, and I feel like the whole thing just makes me wanna permanently be the :doh: emoticon.
There's probably more factors than just my weight though, I fully admit I don't get out much because of how busy I am, and I go to an all girls school...so the only men I meet there are teachers and other ladies' boyfriends.
It also takes me a bit to not be shy with someone, especially a guy I just met, and especially if I think he is cute. 

But I'm so glad I didn't start dating in high school, I don't think I had anywhere near enough confidence, nor as good a creeper-detection system.


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## Tau (May 11, 2011)

Been dating since I was 24. It's work


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## PunkyGurly74 (May 11, 2011)

asmiletoday said:


> Where do you live, so I can make sure to never move there? Because, seriously I cant imagine anyone being ashamed to be seen with you. Seriously, as much as I love men, sometimes their actions make me so angry.



I spent the majority of my life in Newark/Columbus area (small towns around there Hebron and Granville - small affluent, college town..something out of a book) and now I am living in the big city of Columbus ohio...avoid avoid..hehehe


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## PunkyGurly74 (May 11, 2011)

Zandoz said:


> Just for the record, I'd be proud to be seen with you in public, anywhere and any time, no sex strings attached.




What's sex  hehehehe


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## AnnMarie (May 11, 2011)

I didn't date in high school. 

I didn't date in college. 

I didn't date much in my 20s. 

I didn't date much in my 30s. 


Aside from a few relationships, not a lot of "dates". 


Clearly I'm a developmentally delayed.


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## ArmWrestlingChamp (May 11, 2011)

I went on two dates in high school... but nothing romantic or special happened so I don't really count them as dates...


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## Micara (May 12, 2011)

I had my first date when I was 13 and a freshman in high school. We went to the mall and to a movie. Then after Christmas he broke up with me in school via my friend, then asked her out. 

I didn't really date again until I got my first job at 16. He was black and I couldn't tell my parents because they are ridiculous. I had my first kiss with him next to a dumpster behind the movie theater where I worked. How romantic!

A few weeks later he tried to get me to have sex with him and I wouldn't so he broke up with me. Two days later he asked me back out but I said no thanks. I didn't really date again until I was 18 and discovered the internet. So I was kind of sporadic, but I was also very, very shy.


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## Shoshybear (May 13, 2011)

wow, so many people started dating in high school... i never got asked out or asked to a dance or anything in high school... i started dating in college, but only through online dating, if okcupid didn't exist, I still wouldn't have been kissed :-/ I've always been single, though I've dated


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## hiddenexposure (May 13, 2011)

asmiletoday said:


> Seriously, I swear I am jealous of how many women up in this forum are ballers. The men be all upons.



All of this made me laugh and I could not agree more!


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## NickyIs2Big (May 16, 2011)

I'm 20 and I have never had a Boyfriend nor have i really been on a date. Last year, however, there was an occasion that some could construe as such. My friends tease me that it was but i don't think so.

Even though I have never dated, it doesn't mean there haven't been people though. But that's another story.


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