# Hey guys, do you ever feel expectation to eat more?



## Tad (Nov 21, 2008)

Do you ever have that thing, at a big family dinner or a celebration with co-workers or whatever, where people seem disappointed if you don't eat heavily? 

Most often I hear it from petite women, I always wonder if they are vicarious eaters? (they are watching their wait so won't have more than, say, one slice of pizza at lunch when we get pizza in at work, but it seems to bug them if any of the heavier guys are not eating heartily).

I think it is the combination of 'guy' plus 'big' just makes people assume that you'll be a big eater all of the time. So if you aren't eating, something must be wrong.


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## Melian (Nov 21, 2008)

Obviously, I can't answer from a guy's point of view....but as a FFA, I do find it odd when a BHM doesn't eat very much at a group meal. I mean, I understand that he just may not be hungry, or that he's one of those guys who eats very little yet is still fat due to metabolic reasons, etc, but I kind of feel like, "the best part of being fat is eating whatever you want - you're wasting it!!"

Haha, ok, that being said, I probably wouldn't let on that I was disappointed unless the guy in question was my fiance. I can't help but encourage him, and he seems to like it anyway


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## Diego (Nov 21, 2008)

From experience, you can't win.

It's either "He didn't eat much, he'll probably just gorge himself when gets home!"

and if you do eat big meal!

"Did you see how much he ate?"

I must say that i skinny, but i like big guys. I hope you don't hate me because of.


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## Jackoblangada (Nov 21, 2008)

Diego's right, when I still gave much of a crap about what people thought, those situations were tough. Everyone sees you heading to the table and they start grabbing food as if you are going to eat it all before they get enough.
We recently had a charity event here at work where a couple of people would chicken nuggets and the rest would all bet on how many they could eat and who could win; well when they were asking for volunteers it seems most of the room turned to look at me and it got all quiet. I finally had to say "It would hardly be fair if I competed would it?' just to break the tension.

Oh well, it was funny at the time...and yes I could have kicked their asses if i had participated.


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## Durin (Nov 21, 2008)

I always get this at Thanksgiving.

I help cook the dinner and normally snack while doing so by the time I get my plate I eat a little bit of turkey and them I'm full. 

My Wife I think alway's confuses people because she eat's like a bird. But she also tend's to snack a lot.


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## Lavasse (Nov 21, 2008)

Depending on the gathering I may try to OUT eat other people, so I obviously dont give a damn what they think lol  Although if I dont eat at least 2 helpings of everything someone asks me if Im sick or something lol


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## VinnyPA (Nov 21, 2008)

My mom always tells me in her broken Italian accent that I'm getting too fat as she shovels a third or fourth serving to me. Grazi Mama!!! LOL


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## Tad (Nov 21, 2008)

I work at a fairly small company, and we periodically have company update meetings at lunch, where they order in pizza. But the place they order from, something in the pizza tends to not place nicely with my digestive track (I think they use a lot of dehydrated onion and/or garlic, but that is just a guess). As a result I'll usually bring my own lunch. But sometimes there is also salad, so I'll grab a serving of that. Almost inevitably I get expressions of horror from the few women here "Is THAT all you are eating?!?" And they look greatly relieved when I say I also have my own lunch with me.

I've had similar experiences in other settings, but that one is just so predictable that it sticks in my head.


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## shirmack (Nov 21, 2008)

I am just bitchy cause I wasted all my money on things other than food
So I get to be hungry till the 1st 
Yay 9 more days till payday and a proper meal....
Fat kids cannot live on top ramen alone...
My coworkers are like dude do you ever eat? 
In the interim I am surviving on Rockstars 
Thanksgiving though I am going to my friends house... 
To store up ebough energy to last me till the end of the month 
That and watch the Steelers Patriots game....
Poor Steelers will never know what hit em...


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## RobitusinZ (Nov 21, 2008)

It's my duty as a good grandson to eat everything my grandmother makes. Gotta give the ol' bag o' bones a reason for living.


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## JiminOR (Nov 21, 2008)

I think Diego put it best. And yeah, sometimes I'm a big eater, but mostly I don't think I wolf down huge amounts of food. So yeah, people are usually surprised when I don't stack my plate up to the sky.


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## WillSpark (Nov 21, 2008)

Oh, I've had two very different experiences in different settings. Around family, they all look to me as the culinary guy to comment on the food, and love hearing it, but while I was living at home, my parents tended to make a comment about how much I'd gotten back to get more (because on family occasions there's more food than can fit on our table). My solution: put more on my plate so I go back less. They didn't seem to notice the quantity change. 

Meanwhile, in school, if I didn't eat a whole lot, my friends apparently have a problem or think I have one. They also look for some food advice from me, so no matter what the actual meal is, they almost expect me to eat a lot, so as to either get my opinions or just because they expect me too based on past precedent and my appearance. Not that I mind. It gives me more food freedom.


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## Spicy_McHaggis (Nov 23, 2008)

I get asked if I had enough to eat all the time
its quite annoying after a while
I eat fairly slowly, rather than wolfing my whole plate down and going back for more because I don't feel full yet. I take the time to enjoy the food and actually taste it. so by the time I am done eating I feel satisfied.


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## warwagon86 (Nov 24, 2008)

i never eat much - im not a big eater i maybe have 2 meals a day max and i dont pig out on junk food

im a genuine stocky guy and i know im large but i also know im quite sporty and fast for a guy of my size!!

but for instance i will go home for xmas and i wont eat a full plate of dinner not because i dont want to but being a student has made my stomach shrink haha


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## Ichida (Nov 24, 2008)

From the girl point of view it feels instrinsically wrong to outeat the boys. I think we are raised with a "girl" portion and a "boy" portion. For example I might feel guilty eating one piece if a guy has one piece - but if he has four than two is still a femanine portion!

Seeing a guy, especially a bigger guy, on a "diet", makes me intensely sad. The only other thing that can make me feel that horrible that fast is seeing a grown man cry (which will inevitably incite me into crying because I see it so rarely). It almost feels like we are obliged to a) eat less or b) encourage you to eat more, because then your masculinity isn't affected. There IS something very manly about a guy eating a large portion. Perhaps it goes back in history when the dominant male ate the lions share...


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## candie702 (Nov 24, 2008)

I think at any social occasion where food is involved it makes people uncomfortable if someone isn't eating or isn't eating heartily. I have food allergies and sometimes when out to dinner there is nothing on the menu I feel comfortable eating so I'll order just a water. Yes it makes me the odd one out but it's better than eating something with hidden allergens and being sick for the next couple of days.
When I was growing up my father always sat at the head of the table. He was the "leader" in the meal and he ate the most, more than my mother and sisters. From a young age, like many other woman, this sort of thing has cemented the idea that eating large quantities of food is more masculine that eating a small portion. 
As an adult I do not judge what others are eating but I am very aware of it because I find it interesting so I do pay attention. The only thing that really bothers me is if the group finishes eating and there's one person that finishes ten minutes later. I like everyone to finish at the same time give or take.


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## Ichida (Nov 24, 2008)

Perfectly said!!!



candie702 said:


> I think at any social occasion where food is involved it makes people uncomfortable if someone isn't eating or isn't eating heartily. I have food allergies and sometimes when out to dinner there is nothing on the menu I feel comfortable eating so I'll order just a water. Yes it makes me the odd one out but it's better than eating something with hidden allergens and being sick for the next couple of days.
> When I was growing up my father always sat at the head of the table. He was the "leader" in the meal and he ate the most, more than my mother and sisters. From a young age, like many other woman, this sort of thing has cemented the idea that eating large quantities of food is more masculine that eating a small portion. QUOTE]


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## bigpulve (Nov 24, 2008)

I think it depends on your life growing up. My whole family is larger than normal, but they arent very comfortable with it. so I always grew up with the weight loss stuff and everything. But I am very uncomfortable eating with other people especially eating heavily......


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## fat hiker (Jan 15, 2009)

edx said:


> Do you ever have that thing, at a big family dinner or a celebration with co-workers or whatever, where people seem disappointed if you don't eat heavily?
> 
> Most often I hear it from petite women, I always wonder if they are vicarious eaters? (they are watching their wait so won't have more than, say, one slice of pizza at lunch when we get pizza in at work, but it seems to bug them if any of the heavier guys are not eating heartily).
> 
> I think it is the combination of 'guy' plus 'big' just makes people assume that you'll be a big eater all of the time. So if you aren't eating, something must be wrong.



Definitely - I've even had it once over drinking - we had a Christmas function at work, with a lot of donated wine, and, while I like wine, I don't much like being drunk, so I was being quite moderate (I was at work, too), when one of my colleagues, a guy who used to play football (so he's fairly large) but who because of old injuries has to keep himself fairly trim came up to me and said, "...you've got body mass, c'mon, you must be able to drink!"

In his defence he'd definitely had a few himself, but I was a bit shocked to see the 'you're big, you ought to eat more' thing moved over to alcohol...


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## escapist (Jan 15, 2009)

WOW, all of you who feel sad when the guys just don't eat should just hang out with me. You would never know sorrow again HAhahahaha. Now seriously others usually put the expectation on me to out eat everybody and well its just cause I'm friggin HUGE! See for a long time I didn't even know how big I was to other people (I don't work that way in my head), anyways I saw a guy on new years who was about my height, and maybe 200 lbs less. EVERYBODY noticed this guy and you could feel it. I had to ask my friends, "Hey, am I like that guy, am I just so big that the room and the people just tend to conform around me like that and notice me like that?". So it really sank in cause like I said I knew I was bigger....oh and just for fun to up the action and attention I did cartwheels and kicked over the bouncers head! Hahaha now that was Funny his jaw dropped he was actually 6'5".

So do I feel an expectation, hummm well all I can say is I know its there sometimes, but it doesn't mean I "Feel it". I don't let BS like that effect me...besides most the time it just happens anyways so why even think about it?


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## Ichida (Jan 15, 2009)

I've realized I do expect my guy to eat more. In fact if he eats less, so do I.

So the hungrier I am the more I tend to serve him!


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## fatterisbetter (Jan 16, 2009)

I'm not a big snacker so I normally eat two or three big meals a day. So, at that point i'm pretty much your stereotypical fat guy shoveling it in. But I have noticed on rare occasions when I wasn't eating my usual fill, that my wife got kind of pushy with the food and kept telling me to have more. Probably because she felt weird at that time to outeat her fat hubby.
My motrher-in-law is also a big food pusher, especially for men. It's not a big hardship because she's a good cook, but it really cracked me up last Thanksgiving. She was in her glory feeding 4 huge guys (her husband, her two sons and myself, allof us over 400 pounds), and the food just kept coming the moment you had emptied your plate!


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## Molly (Jan 16, 2009)

I'm a girl, and yeah, I generally do expect my man to eat more than me. If he takes a really small portion, I almost always ask if he's not feeling well. I don't know if this bothers him, sometimes I know it does but I can't help it. And yeah, usually if he does not take lots of food he either a) already ate something or b) isn't feeling good.


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## Melian (Jan 17, 2009)

fatterisbetter said:


> But I have noticed on rare occasions when I wasn't eating my usual fill, that my wife got kind of pushy with the food and kept telling me to have more. Probably because she felt weird at that time to outeat her fat hubby.



You know, I'm exactly like that. I HATE it when I eat more than my fiance. I'm not entirely sure why it bugs me so much....he's a huge man, and I'm a very small woman, so I guess I feel like some kind of ravenous animal if I'm out-eating someone who is about 3x my size.

Luckily, this situation rarely comes up, these days.


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## Hole (Jan 17, 2009)

I used to enjoy it when my ex and I would 'pig out' together. I don't interfere with what he eats. I do ask him if he is okay if he hasn't eaten but I'd ask that to anyone whatever size they are.And occasionally I ate more than him. I didn't really care. He would wonder how so much food could fit into my 'petite' body as he called it.


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## bigrugbybloke (Jan 17, 2009)

yeah my other half encourages and also when we are out on the beers, the other half expects me to drink a lot more as well.


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## Cors (Jan 17, 2009)

I expect males eat more regardless of their size, but I would never assume that a BBW has a bigger appetite than me. Not quite sure why.


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## fat hiker (Jan 20, 2009)

fatterisbetter said:


> I'm not a big snacker so I normally eat two or three big meals a day. So, at that point i'm pretty much your stereotypical fat guy shoveling it in. But I have noticed on rare occasions when I wasn't eating my usual fill, that my wife got kind of pushy with the food and kept telling me to have more. Probably because she felt weird at that time to outeat her fat hubby.
> My motrher-in-law is also a big food pusher, especially for men. It's not a big hardship because she's a good cook, but it really cracked me up last Thanksgiving. She was in her glory feeding 4 huge guys (her husband, her two sons and myself, allof us over 400 pounds), and the food just kept coming the moment you had emptied your plate!



Over 1600 pounds of BHMs eating endlessly at a Thanksgiving feast - what a great image you've painted! Keep on 'shoveling it in'!


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## fat hiker (Jan 20, 2009)

Cors said:


> I expect males eat more regardless of their size, but I would never assume that a BBW has a bigger appetite than me. Not quite sure why.



Because you instinctively know that being bigger does not necessarily mean that you eat more - that some people have bodies that are just more efficient with food, and store up a bit 'extra' against oncoming famine?

I have this personal theory that those of us who always carry some (or a lot)of fat, regardless of how we eat or exercise, must have ancestors who lived a long time in some part of the world where the food supply was unreliable, and who only got through the famines and starvations because they were carrying extra fat when the food ran short, and could live better on 'reduced rations' than those whose bodies were more 'profligate' with their calorie intake. Fat people are just more 'famine resistant'!


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## Buffetbelly (Jan 20, 2009)

In any social circle, I am the designated leftover disposal unit. If there's one serving left, I'm always called upon to finish it off. If everyone is eating dish A and dish B is being neglected, I will be encouraged to get the ball rolling by diving into dish B. At a church potluck, people come by with their last helping of a dish and dump it on my plate so they can wash their casserole dish. At work, I always get offered the leftovers at clean up. :eat1:


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## Bellyjeansgirl (Jan 26, 2009)

I have to admit I'm one of those FFAs that really enjoys seeing a guy eat. I'd feel more than odd if I could eat more than he does. 

In fact, steal something from my plate. I'll swoon :wubu:


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## Buffetbelly (Jan 28, 2009)

Bellyjeansgirl said:


> I have to admit I'm one of those FFAs that really enjoys seeing a guy eat. I'd feel more than odd if I could eat more than he does.
> 
> In fact, steal something from my plate. I'll swoon :wubu:


 
I am a stealer, but only from close friends and lovers. I love to swipe tidbits, and I find it a little exciting too!


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## StarScream! (Jan 28, 2009)

The only thing that makes me mad is if I go out to eat or something and I don't really want to eat alot, or whatever.

I order a 16 ounce steak, but there is a 20 ounce on the menu.

So I get from all my friends "Whats the matter Bob, can't do the 20 ounce?"

Or You ordered the double whopper? You know they have triple right?

Then I feel like I'm playing football again. "You only got 375lbs on that bench, whats the matter? Can't you do 400?"

It's like why are you so goddamn interested in what I'm eating anyways.

StarScream!


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## SoliloquyOfaSiren (Jan 28, 2009)

StarScream! said:


> The only thing that makes me mad is if I go out to eat or something and I don't really want to eat alot, or whatever.
> 
> I order a 16 ounce steak, but there is a 20 ounce on the menu.
> 
> ...



people expect it, cause people are generally ignorant...like if I go out with my dudes to a sports bar or wtv, I eat more than them for the most part. and everyone's like what?? Youre a slim girl, why arent you eating like a salad or something?? Honestly it goes both ways. But no worries, I will NEVER pressure you like that


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## Bellyjeansgirl (Jan 30, 2009)

StarScream! said:


> The only thing that makes me mad is if I go out to eat or something and I don't really want to eat alot, or whatever.
> 
> I order a 16 ounce steak, but there is a 20 ounce on the menu.
> 
> ...



As sexy as it would be to see a big guy eat, it doesn't bother me if he eats normal portions. I think that's especially true once he reaches a certain weight/look.


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## kinkykitten (Jan 31, 2009)

Bellyjeansgirl said:


> I have to admit I'm one of those FFAs that really enjoys seeing a guy eat.




Hehe me too! A big guy with a huge appetite is soo sexy and it turns me on! Having said that, if Dan ate less I wouldn't be disappointed or expect him to eat more. But, alas, I'm happy he has a huge appetite, lucky me... :eat2:

But anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is, just because someone is bigger than most it doesn't necessarily mean they eat loads. My uncle is a big guy and he hardly eats at all! A big part of it is down to genetic make up with some people.


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## Tanuki (Jan 31, 2009)

I have indeed been expected to eat more in the past but actually its been more people have had that opinion that I shouldn't eat and I have had comments like

"you don't need that, look at the size of you"

when eating a simple sandwich at lunch time... 

Ahhs wells....


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## Gyrene (Jan 31, 2009)

For me, it doesn't matter where I am or whom I'm with. As soon as I get into any proximity with food I see people stare, laugh, and giggle. I was once on a diet a few years back and I had left my lunch at home. On my way to work I stopped by a local mini-mart to pick up an apple and banana (yes the gas station sold fresh fruit). Didn't matter if it was healthy or not, there is always some chump or chumpette that see's me with food and the eyes will roll. 

That's why I have stopped (for the most part) going out on my own to restaurants. Also, being big, I notice the wait staff screws with me. At first,, I thought I was just being paranoid, but after eating out with family and friends they too noticed a mark behavior in the wait staff.


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## WhiteHotRazor (Jan 31, 2009)

I think that there should be a law that states if a person has the audacity to stare,smirk, rolleyes or actually say something to a fat person while they're eating then that person should be able to legally attack them with absolutely no consequences...because then there's a risk factor. Go ahead and say whatever you want just know there's possibility of a fuckin head crack.

Same goes with people that try to interrupt your day and preach to you about god on the city street.


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## Gyrene (Jan 31, 2009)

WhiteHotRazor said:


> Go ahead and say whatever you want just know there's possibility of a fuckin head crack.



That's what I've been thinking for the past few years...

By the way, God Bless Ya!


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## user 23567 (Feb 1, 2009)

I hate that crap. Sometimes I'm just not that hungry!!! But if we have a lunch party at work then everyone look at me like I'm going to eat it all. Or if I only get one plate they say shit like "Did you get enough to eat?" WTF...why not just put a troff at my desk. Even my friends will say dumb crap like "You only had 2 slices (pizza) I can't believe it"


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## chicken legs (Feb 1, 2009)

grady said:


> I hate that crap. Sometimes I'm just not that hungry!!! But if we have a lunch party at work then everyone look at me like I'm going to eat it all. Or if I only get one plate they say shit like "Did you get enough to eat?" WTF...why not just put a troff at my desk. Even my friends will say dumb crap like "You only had 2 slices (pizza) I can't believe it"



Omg that tickled me...ehehehehe "WTF...why not just put a troff at my desk"....ahahahaha

I totally got a visual on that.


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## Buffetbelly (Feb 3, 2009)

This expectation of eating more is one of the great things about being a fat guy. I rarely disappoint my audience who reguarly shows up to gawk at my feats of mass consumption.


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## ClockworkOrange (Feb 3, 2009)

I pretty much just eat when I'm hungry, and until the urge to munch goes away. Sometimes it's more, sometimes it's less. Go go gadget whimsy. I actually find myself eating when bored, because like, bored has no flavor, and food does.


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