# Panic! Upcoming Dr's Visit



## Cynthia (Aug 19, 2010)

Tomorrow, I have a long-overdue doctors appointment, and Im wondering how to get through the dreaded experience like an adult. No secrets here  Ive taken lousy care of myself. Ive rationed my anti-hypertensive medication to delay getting weighed and tested, and I eat sweets almost daily in spite of having out-of-control diabetes. 

On the positive side, I do like my dance exercise classes but have been only sporadically lately because of blood-pressure concerns. And, in an effort to make peace with food last year, I attended a workshop series on compulsive eating and saw a psychotherapist for a few months. They told me to learn to trust my body and eat ice cream everyday if I want to and to stop thinking of doctors as father figures. But Ive got scales and tests to worry about; so still, theres no peace. 

Anyway, here I am, feeling that familiar terror that comes with visiting Dr. G. (It could be any internist, really. They all seem like the Wizard of Oz.) And Im, as always, a powerless disobedient child, bracing myself for punishment. He will tell me to come in for twice-monthly monitoring, recommend that I join his offices diet program, and perhaps this time will suggest surgical intervention. Dr. G is a kind, grandfatherly man, and all I can think of is how I have failed him once again. Ugh, Im sick of playing this familiar record.

So the question is  How do you learn to get through your visits to the doctor with self-love and dignity? How do you manage to be the paying client that you are and a partner-in-care rather than a frightened, weepy child who cant get things right?


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## mossystate (Aug 19, 2010)

Cynthia, so sorry you are so anxious about this. 

Since you know this doctor and are pretty sure what he will say if things are not as he thinks they should be, maybe head him off at the pass and tell him right off the bat what you fear and that you have a lot of anxiety ? 

Be firm, but let him know that you of course do want to be, as you said, a partner-in-health. If he is a very good doctor, he will understand how the physical and emotional are connected, and lecturing only keeps you away from the very places you need to be.

You could even write something out and hand it to reception when you get there, telling them you would like the doctor to read it before you get in the room with him. I have done that. Stand as tall as you are able...breathe. Good luck!


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## Sandie_Zitkus (Aug 19, 2010)

You're paying him - so you're the one with the power. Find out if he would be willing to work with you, and then do it or find a new doctor. Please stop endangering your health out of fear of a doctor. They are supposed to help you - be firm. Please take care of yourself.


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## Risible (Aug 19, 2010)

I can sympathize, Cynthia, having been fat all my life; going to the doctor is no picnic.  

Have you seen this list of fat-friendly physicians? Just a thought ...


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## Cynthia (Aug 20, 2010)

Mossystate, Sandie, and Risible, thank you for your advice and encouragement. I hugely appreciated your notes. Today, I'm happy to say, things went far better than expected. 

I told the doctor immediately that I wasnt managing my condition well and that I had delayed my appointment out of embarrassment. Dr. G. was exceedingly sympathetic. He took a few moments to chat with me about my sense of emotional well-being and to acknowledge the steps I had already taken to deal with disordered eating. (Some years back on Dimensions, I talked about growing up with a bulimic mother and how that affected my relationship with food.) 

Dr. G., who is trained in osteopathic medicine, recognized the psychological component behind the diabetic non-compliance and recommended an antidepressant as one part of an overall treatment strategy. So, tonight, I feel tremendous relief, gratitude, and hope. Thanks for helping me to calm my nerves and put the visit into perspective.


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## mossystate (Aug 20, 2010)

Cynthia, I am so glad your visit left you feeling a little better! Sometimes it is just so tough to do the very things that would makes things go a little easier. So, you now know that you have the ability...yay! 

There is a little slip of paper I keep by my computer...on it I have written - The Beginning Is The Half Of Every Action.

Those ' little ' steps mean the world. Our brains sure are little fuckers at times.


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