# FFAs are amazing... but in too few numbers



## Ninja Glutton (Nov 6, 2007)

Petite FFAs have got to be the most gloriously lovely, serene, gorgeous beings on the planet. Nothing hotter than the contrast of a huge guy with a skinny, petite girl.

I wish there were some kind of dedicated personals site for FFAs and BHMs exclusively.

I know this isn't a personals site, but I hear about people meeting people via this board every day. If only I were that lucky lol.

Where are all the Tri-state-area FFAs? Even friends is cool. I'm just looking for new people to hang out with.

PS - Much love to all the people who have put up with my whining and numerous self-absorbed picture threads. I <3 you all.


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## StridentDionysus (Nov 6, 2007)

BHM/FFA dating site? Never gonna happen, you said it yourself. Too few FFAs for it to be a good business.

About meeting people here... I met one really (and I mean REALLY) nice and beautiful girl here. I just have to lil problems, she didn't want anything with me apart from a friendship ( not the first one but I thought I had a chance with her being an FFA and all ) AND she is missing from teh interwebz. Not from her IM but from the forum, her MySpace and everything .

Just PM with people you think you have something in common with, get them on your IM and talk. It's better to get a "I just want to be friends" like I did than not get anything at all  (at least you get to talk to an FFA, know what she likes and stuff like that for future reference )


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## Melian (Nov 7, 2007)

Hey, FFAs have problems finding men too!

Granted, there are fat guys everywhere...but it's not like we'll screw anyone who's fat. There are a lot of fat old guys walking around in dirty track pants here, but no way am I going for that. LOL.

In my particular scene, sickly-thin men are the overwhelming majority and the few bigger guys have unfortunately awful personalities. I'm not really making a point; just venting my frustrations


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## zayus1979 (Nov 7, 2007)

About five years back GirlFA had a 'profiles' page, specifically for the purpose of connecting FFAs and BHMs, I got a number of emails from ladies from that, nothing came of it, but there were emails... 

Its gone now, but something that simple is all it takes.


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## Ninja Glutton (Nov 7, 2007)

Yeah, I see what you mean. I've talked to quite a few FFAs, but they're never from this coast or even country. I'm a poor college student who can't afford a longer-than-car-driving-distance relationship. Not trying to be all angsty and such. Sometimes it's just hard to keep trucking along when you're such a robotic being of routine. I love meeting new people, and I'm good at making friends, but it just seems like I do the same shit year after year. The scenery changes, but the aesthetic stays the same. 

I just want someone to be passionate about. I'm already passionate about writing and going into the film industry... I'd like someone to share my love of creativity as well as my love of my body. Is it so much to ask for someone to give me a chance?

I just have so much love and happiness to give... every once in awhile I'd like to receive. Being a nonsexual object despite extreme efforts to be seen as otherwise makes you feel totally invisible (despite my size).

Even surrounded by friends and family, I just can't help feeling alone and somewhat empty. I guess I've always kind of felt that way.

It gets really lonely living behind your eyes all the time.

I crave the real, the new, the challenging, the tangible...

Maybe I'm just too sensitive. Sometimes I hate being a Pisces. A left-handed Pisces for that matter. Maybe I'm just destined for unhappiness...

Whatever the case... I take what's on my plate and I work with it. Bad feelings pass, but I still hope that somewhere out there someone is craving a guy like me.

/end rant


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## Tad (Nov 7, 2007)

I just want to say that it is not only petite FFA who are are amazing! I think all of them are pretty darned awesome, and there are fortunatly BHM who like a variety of types, too.

I understand that this is your particular preference, but I ask you to please not phrase it to sound like this is a universal opinion. Add in a few more "I think" or "to me" or "I feel that" type comments, and it is all good. Without them.... 

So yah, FFA are amazing, and it is fine to prefer one type to another, just please be careful how you say it.

Regards;

-Ed


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## Ninja Glutton (Nov 7, 2007)

I didn't mean it to sound like the vast array of FFAs aren't beautiful. I'm just saying the contrast is a huge turn-on to me. Different strokes, different folks. Wasn't trying to be exclusionary.


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## TheMildlyStrangeone (Nov 7, 2007)

dude I live in philly and never really thought there was a drought of FFA's. Maybe petite ones are lacking, yes, but so what? I think you really just want a girl to just fall head over heels for you because you're a BHM. Why not just try to be charming and win a girl over with your personality? It can be done, believe me. I am dating a girl (our anniversary is Sunday for a year) who is 4'11 and very small. But she has repeatedly told me she's not into big guys, but somehow I got her to like me. So it can be done, I just wouldn't use the FFA thing as a crutch or rallying call. Sure, it is definitely nice after being told you are hideous your whole life for a wonderful girl to come along and say, "wow you are so sexy" or something along those lines.


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## chickadee (Nov 7, 2007)

There are more FFA's out there than you think. And yes, they come in all shapes and sizes. So I know that some of you like the "petite" ones for the size contrast, but it would be nice to consider the larger FFAs too.


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## ffaboots (Nov 7, 2007)

edx said:


> I just want to say that it is not only petite FFA who are are amazing! I think all of them are pretty darned awesome, and there are fortunatly BHM who like a variety of types, too.



Thank you for saying this. IAWTC.


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## Molly (Nov 7, 2007)

Finding someone is the most difficult frustrating thing in the world. What can I say... I met my BHM at university because we shared similar interests. I don't know the best way to meet petite ffa's. What do you mean exactly anyways (just curious) do you mean tiny, short, size 0-ish waif-like little ladies? Or are you less specific. I am a thin ffa... but I am more of an Amazon (Tall, strong and shapely). FFA's come in all shapes and sizes after all... all of which are awesome!

I wish you good luck (Hey! maybe get a T-shirt that says "Looking for a little ffa" and see who gets it!)  Maybe? I think it's just a matter of tripping over the right person one day... frankly I don't know how I did it either, so I sincerely wish good luck to you.


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## Knyghtmare (Nov 7, 2007)

The wait is the hardest part about it. I have been single for a while now, way too much of a while, and once you've been in a relationship with someone and you get used to having someone around that cares about you its something you learn to miss once its gone. Sure its great to be single for a while, but that is so easy to get sick of fast. BHM's have the biggest hearts in the world, because its not easy for us to just get someone... we dont go out some saturday night and pick up the first girl we see, because society isnt like that. We dont date a different girl every week. We dont take for granted this type of thing like any other average sized guy can. We have to find the right person and work for a serious relationship. BHMs are the most romantic, genuine people out there because they cant take a relationship for granted, because for us, a person that will accept us are few and far between, unless we are lucky enough as some of you to find the right girl who will accept you for who you are and not care what any one else thinks. I have only ever come across 2 in my lifetime that I have had or could have a relationship with.

Something I think is a big thing for most girls to get over, even if she likes a BHM and is attracted to them, and especially if they have never tried to experience a BHM before, is that society isnt typically accepting of women with larger men(especially thinner FFAs), so they worry more about what thier friends and family will think of them with a big guy. This is just an obvservation ladies so feel free to chime in. Men, I believe, are generally less superficial than women, which I think is why we see more slimmer men with larger women than we see any women with BHMs period. This is why I dont think we see as many women that are availible to us. This is why we always make the best "just friends" too.

I know that eventually lonelyness will succumb of me and I will end up doing one of two things: Get fed up and eventually lose the weight and find a girl, or hopefully stumble across the right girl... then lose the weight.


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## Ninja Glutton (Nov 7, 2007)

chickadee said:


> There are more FFA's out there than you think. And yes, they come in all shapes and sizes. So I know that some of you like the "petite" ones for the size contrast, but it would be nice to consider the larger FFAs too.



I just know what I'm attracted to. Nothing against the bigger ladies, but I know what turns my crank and what doesn't.

Furthermore, I don't mean it specifically has to be an FFA, but it'd be nice. I've been with far too many girls who just tolerate my size instead of embrace it. It'd be nice to be looked at with an overwhelming sense of excitement and attraction when I take my shirt off once in awile.

Blah, I think what I first posted in this thread came out wrong. I feel like I'm being misinterpreted. 

I try to get out there and meet people and charm them. I'm very good at meeting people, but it seems to be that whole teddy bear thing usually happens. I'm either seen like their brother or their best friend, and neither of which is bad, but it can be very physically lonely when that's the only kind of attention you seem to get.

Like I've always said, I try to remain positive and patient. Sometimes that empty feeling gets the best of me, though.

Sorry if any BBWs feel like I'm neglecting them or putting them down. I'm not at all. Attractions come in all shapes and sizes. I just know what it's like to be big. I'd like to be around someone small. By small I don't mean like pencil thin or anything, either. I mean on the shorter side, not a BBW. 

Is there anything that inherently wrong about not wanting to be with a large woman? Many of you on here say you wouldn't want to be with a smaller guy, so what's the difference? I can't control what I'm attracted to physically. Not everything is physical, no, but that is where the initial intrigue and attraction begins. Cut me some slack.

Other than that, ya'll are some lovely people and I hope you stay that way. I just needed to rant a little bit. Venting is an effective mitigator of my depression, so I thank you for the opportunity to do so in a safe environment of lovely people from around the globe.

Keep it XL

EDIT:



Knyghtmare said:


> The wait is the hardest part about it. I have been single for a while now, way too much of a while, and once you've been in a relationship with someone and you get used to having someone around that cares about you its something you learn to miss once its gone. Sure its great to be single for a while, but that is so easy to get sick of fast. BHM's have the biggest hearts in the world, because its not easy for us to just get someone... we dont go out some saturday night and pick up the first girl we see, because society isnt like that. We dont date a different girl every week. We dont take for granted this type of thing like any other average sized guy can. We have to find the right person and work for a serious relationship. BHMs are the most romantic, genuine people out there because they cant take a relationship for granted, because for us, a person that will accept us are few and far between, unless we are lucky enough as some of you to find the right girl who will accept you for who you are and not care what any one else thinks. I have only ever come across 2 in my lifetime that I have had or could have a relationship with.
> 
> Something I think is a big thing for most girls to get over, even if she likes a BHM and is attracted to them, and especially if they have never tried to experience a BHM before, is that society isnt typically accepting of women with larger men(especially thinner FFAs), so they worry more about what thier friends and family will think of them with a big guy. This is just an obvservation ladies so feel free to chime in. Men, I believe, are generally less superficial than women, which I think is why we see more slimmer men with larger women than we see any women with BHMs period. This is why I dont think we see as many women that are availible to us. This is why we always make the best "just friends" too.



You've really hit the nail on the head with that post. Well-worded and exactly the way I feel.


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## Molly (Nov 8, 2007)

Knyghtmare said:


> The wait is the hardest part about it. I have been single for a while now, way too much of a while, and once you've been in a relationship with someone and you get used to having someone around that cares about you its something you learn to miss once its gone. Sure its great to be single for a while, but that is so easy to get sick of fast. BHM's have the biggest hearts in the world, because its not easy for us to just get someone... we dont go out some saturday night and pick up the first girl we see, because society isnt like that. We dont date a different girl every week. We dont take for granted this type of thing like any other average sized guy can. We have to find the right person and work for a serious relationship. BHMs are the most romantic, genuine people out there because they cant take a relationship for granted, because for us, a person that will accept us are few and far between, unless we are lucky enough as some of you to find the right girl who will accept you for who you are and not care what any one else thinks. I have only ever come across 2 in my lifetime that I have had or could have a relationship with.
> 
> Something I think is a big thing for most girls to get over, even if she likes a BHM and is attracted to them, and especially if they have never tried to experience a BHM before, is that society isnt typically accepting of women with larger men(especially thinner FFAs), so they worry more about what thier friends and family will think of them with a big guy. This is just an obvservation ladies so feel free to chime in. Men, I believe, are generally less superficial than women, which I think is why we see more slimmer men with larger women than we see any women with BHMs period. This is why I dont think we see as many women that are availible to us. This is why we always make the best "just friends" too.
> 
> I know that eventually lonelyness will succumb of me and I will end up doing one of two things: Get fed up and eventually lose the weight and find a girl, or hopefully stumble across the right girl... then lose the weight.



Very interesting point of view. Made me want to pipe up again. 
As a woman, I don't think I am particularly superficial... I think many people are beautiful regardless of size, personality is usually the big kicker for me, regardless of how attractive the shell is. I guess I can see where you are coming from about OTHER people's perception of a woman who is dating a big man. I have experienced this, having dated a SSBHM for a few years a while back. I got a lot of flack from "friends", my family gave me weird looks and my mother was in awe of how not-superficial I was (even though I thought he was damn cute). It was strange thing, and I got a lot of weird looks, and some rude comments but it never bothered me in a bad way. I was proud to be with him because I cared for him a lot and we had lots of fun together. I don't worry about what people think about who I am with, I just do what makes me happy and fuck the rest. (Heck, my husband (and delicious bhm) wears a kilt all the time so what can I say about strange looks? we get them all the time anyways!) 

Are women more superficial? I dunno, I can't speak for the herd here but thats just my two-cents worth. 

Sorry for all the blah-blah-blahing!


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## Carl1h (Nov 8, 2007)

It does seem like the statistics of a site like this show that fat women have an easier time finding someone than fat men do. This isn't a new idea, I saw the same thing mentioned in a human sexuality book over 20 years ago. However, I don't really think that we can attribute this to superficiality on the part of the majority of women. I think it's a lot more complicated than that.

We could talk about instincts that have women being more choosy about their mates, since they have a greater investment in the reproductive process. We can talk about societal training for women to worry more about social acceptance and looking beautiful and that influences what they want from their men. Or we can talk about the thin guys that marry fat women and then are so unaware that they stand around putting down other fat women and making fat jokes in front of their wifes without even thinking that it isn't appropriate or considerate (I've never seen the reverse of this, so I assume that women don't do this much), I don't think we can say those men aren't superficial just because they married a fat woman.

It's easy, when you are looking for acceptance, when you are looking for love, and you get rejected over and over, when you see people who are jerks and assholes manage to hook up over and over, to get bitter or to attribute negative qualities to the ostensible source of the pain. But don't give into the dark side on these things. It isn't just fat men that have these problems, everyone has these problems. Women on this board often complain about how hard it is to find someone even though it looks (to me at least) like they could have their pick of the guys on this board. It never gets easy and to quote Dan Savage, all relationships fail until you find that one that doesn't.

I don't really think that fat people have to be attracted to fat people, if someone has that specific of sexual taste then they should acknowledge it. I also believe that it can look superficial to rant about how people can't look past fat to see great personality and then to express preference for thin people yourself (and no, I don't think you came off that way). In addition things in bed are easier if one of the participants is thinner (but enthusiasm and ingenuity is worth more in my book anytime). Like everything else about this discussion its complicated.

Carl


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## Kiki (Nov 8, 2007)

Knyghtmare said:


> Men, I believe, are generally less superficial than women, which I think is why we see more slimmer men with larger women than we see any women with BHMs period. This is why I dont think we see as many women that are availible to us. This is why we always make the best "just friends" too.



While I see what you're trying to say, I have to call bullshit on this statement! How many men who are with BBWs _aren't_ FAs? Very few I'd say. What is an FA? A man who finds BBWs sexually attractive. On the other hand, I think women who are with BHMs are in equal numbers of women who love them despite their size and women who love them and were attracted by their size.
Most times, if men are attracted to women who aren't considered attractive by the majority of people they know, they won't date her at all or they'll date her secretly.
There are always exceptions to rules and I appreciate that it's probably difficult for both BHMs and BBWs trying to date at high school and college (where everyone's worried about how everyone else sees them) but women more superficial than men? Pur-lease!


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## miss.pseudonym (Nov 8, 2007)

Kiki said:


> but women more superficial than men? Pur-lease!



Agree. How many girls do you see wearing "No Fat Dudes" t-shirts?


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## LoveBHMS (Nov 8, 2007)

I was mentally composing my response to the "men are less superficial" comment while I scrolled down, but Kiki and MissP already responded perfectly. Knyghtmare, have you spent any time at all in a college fraternity house? Also



> BHM's have the biggest hearts in the world,



No, they don't. Fat guys are no more big hearted than skinny guys. Both can be nice and both can be jerks. Size has nothing to do with it.


> BHMs are the most romantic, genuine people out there because they cant take a relationship for granted, because for us, a person that will accept us are few and far between, unless we are lucky enough as some of you to find the right girl who will accept you for who you are and not care what any one else thinks. I have only ever come across 2 in my lifetime that I have had or could have a relationship with.



If this were true, all women would date fat guys exclusively. It's not. I've dated fat guys that were neither romantic or genuine, and truthfully, I'd hate it if a guy behaved differently because of his size or if he felt he had to somehow compensate for it. I truly dislike the idea of a fat guy who is so grateful to a woman for going out with him that he adjusts his own behaviour because he thinks nobody else is going to want him.

Since you mention weight loss twice, and you mention you'd do it with or without a girlfriend, why not just try to lose it, since you don't sound particularly happy being a BHM. Also, what would you do if you attracted an FFA while you were fat and then you lost weight? She might be annoyed with that.


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## Ninja Glutton (Nov 8, 2007)

I don't believe men or women are any more or less superficial than the other. It all comes down to personal perspective.

I seem to radiate confidence and people have commented on it before, but it still doesn't really help with the opposite sex. I just keep on truckin'. That's all you can really do.

Loneliness is a dark place, though.


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## StridentDionysus (Nov 8, 2007)

What's with all the hate people?! Not one BHM ever dare mention that he wants a thin FFA and mainly a thin FFA because no matter what at least ONE PERSON will come and say he is wrong! What if the guy isn't into fat women? The is a "Hot Boy Thread" back at the main forum and nobody says that there should be more fat men.

Also, LoveBHMS, this is rude 



> Since you mention weight loss twice, and you mention you'd do it with or without a girlfriend, *why not just try to lose it, since you don't sound particularly happy being a BHM.* Also, what would you do if you attracted an FFA while you were fat and then you lost weight? She might be annoyed with that.



Not everyone is happy being fat, not everyone is willing to gain. I can't talk for Knyghtmare but I can for myself. Being fat has brought me nothing but trouble and misery. I've been like this since I was five, all my life being made fun of, girls looking at me like I was a penis-less teddy bear that they could hug and have a big pillow but nothing else.

I know sex, I'm no virgin, but I don't know the feeling of being wanted, I don't know the :smitten: look when someone looks at me. I know the "I don't mind you being fat" but it's not the same as getting an honest "I think you are totally hot!" And I'm not going to start with my health problems, I'm just gonna say that I take more pills that some 60 year olds I know (and I'm freaking 20!)

In the end rocczilla I wish you the best mate. Keep looking for that "shorter and thin" FFA you want, I know what it is to be with a very beautiful girl (not so short but very fit) and also being with a bigger and equally beautiful girl (taller than me and not that fit, not close to being a BBW tho),they are both amazing people but both are on the "I don't mind your size" side. I completely understand that you don't really want someone that "is ok with you being big" you want someone that LIKES your size, that ENJOYS your size. Maybe along the way you'll find her, maybe a girl that doesn't really fit what you're looking for physically will steal your heart  (It has happened to me  didn't last but who cares )


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## charlieversion2 (Nov 8, 2007)

Why can't we be friends? 
Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?

Why can't we be friends?


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## HDANGEL15 (Nov 8, 2007)

LoveBHMS said:


> If this were true, all women would date fat guys exclusively. It's not. I've dated fat guys that were neither romantic or genuine, and truthfully, I'd hate it if a guy behaved differently because of his size or if he felt he had to somehow compensate for it. I truly dislike the idea of a fat guy who is so grateful to a woman for going out with him that he adjusts his own behaviour because he thinks nobody else is going to want him.
> 
> Since you mention weight loss twice, and you mention you'd do it with or without a girlfriend, why not just try to lose it, since you don't sound particularly happy being a BHM. Also, what would you do if you attracted an FFA while you were fat and then you lost weight? She might be annoyed with that.



LOVEBHMS, I could not agree with you more...I was dating a guy that was close to 500# and he was as big a player as I HAVE EVER met IN my life.....he radiated confidence and was nothing but bullshit...NOT all fat guys have hearts of gold 

and afer our conversatoin today ROCCZILLA....lose the weight...you might be happier, you will be healthier for sure and at a cool 350...guess what...you willl defenitely still be a very hot and sexy BHM...just maybe a happier one
and any time you want to walk the wild side...i am only 100 miles away and a bonafide FFA, short and not a BBW quite yet LOLOL...although I have gained a few ..hey we can enjoy salads together, as long as you let me rub that amazing belly WITH LOVE ONE DAY:smitten:


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## Wanderer (Nov 8, 2007)

LoveBHMS said:


> No, they don't. Fat guys are no more big hearted than skinny guys. Both can be nice and both can be jerks. Size has nothing to do with it.



Amen, LoveBHMS. We're guys, with all the baggage that comes with, regardless of any "extra baggage" we might be carrying. And, just like with all guys, the loud, noisy jerks are a lot easier to find than loud, noisy nice guys, or (especially) soft, quiet nice guys like me.

Now, me, I'm not that concerned with a woman's body size; heck, it took me a solid year to notice my first girlfriend had breasts (which, come to think of it, is why she went out with me). As long as a woman is smart and imaginative, (and hopefully interested in actual physical contact with me at SOME point), I'm happy.


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## Knyghtmare (Nov 8, 2007)

First off, I didnt mean to highjack the thread. 

I think I really came off wrong here. Especially the superficial thing. I think I used the wrong wording with that, because I wasnt trying to put down women. I understand that men are the same way, but I feel that men dont see size the same way women do, if that makes sense? When women are looking for a mate they look for different things based on instinct and men look for different things based on their instinct, all before preference comes into play. I am gonna try to not put my foot in my mouth anymore. 

I wasnt trying to tell you guys how it is, what is true and what is false... I was trying to explain a point of view, based on opinion, that I thought was trying to be expressed by rocczilla. Something I feel a lot of guys, not just BHMs, feel, be it a misconception that it may. What I did say tho, was my opinion and it is how I have observed things around me based on the people I have met and relationships with people I have had and relationships I have observed with friends, ect, ect.

I greatly appriciate the feedback I have recieved and I totally understand what each of you are saying, which is why I find this site so benificial. If I made any of you mad, that was not my intention. Again, I wasnt trying to jump on women and hoist fat guys up on a pedistal. I know that fat guys can be just as much of assholes as thin guys, but again I was merely trying to explain said point of view. Not all guys are assholes tho and I think that the majority of the fat guys that are not assholes do have the biggest hearts, on the same spectrum that the really really skinny "geek" type guys do. That spectrum being the group of guys that dont usually have the "mojo" to obtain women no matter what body type they are(The whole "nice guys finish last" mindset). The big heart theory is also why I think certain guys always end up just being the teddy bear friend. I hoped this will help the others of you to realise how some people feel and not just jump on them because you think they dont know anything about anything. I think a feeling someone has is different than how the facts might be, but isnt that the ideo of this website? To help others overcome such things and help boost confidence and what not. You all made really good points that I never thought of. Now I can enter new social situations with a different view, which helps me, and I hope helps others. So for me if has been benifitial to point out the opinions that I did.



LoveBHMS said:


> Since you mention weight loss twice, and you mention you'd do it with or without a girlfriend, why not just try to lose it, since you don't sound particularly happy being a BHM. Also, what would you do if you attracted an FFA while you were fat and then you lost weight? She might be annoyed with that.



I wasnt complaining about being fat at all. I have been fat for a long time. What I was saying tho is not that I need to lose the weight to find the right girl. I was talking about the lack of FFAs, which I am sure we can agree are not all that plentiful even if their are more of them out there than I think. I have not come across them in the masses at all lately, not in my every day life. Sure there are a lot on the website tho. What I meant was a last option thing... The first mention of lose weight was, "lose weight then find the girl"... Or have happen what happend to a friend of mine, "meet the right girl and want to lose the wieght to get her" situation. Neither of which I am shooting for but so what... and if I did find the right FFA and I DID decide to lose the weight, if she was the right girl for me would love me in any form I choose to be in, especially if I decided to be more healthy. Thats the same thing I would do for her. If I met a thin FFA and ended up with her and she ended up getting fat, Im not gonna not love her anymore for that. Same as if I ended up with a gorgeous BBW that decided to lose the weight. The right girl is the right girl no matter what.


EDIT. 


LoveBHMS said:


> Knyghtmare, have you spent any time at all in a college fraternity house?


Oh yes, quite a few actually... not a lot of which I can remember tho. LOL. Seriously tho, my whole point is not about frat boys out to get as much ass as possible. What this comes off to me as saying is that you want a frat guy that just wants to use any abuse?? So what if that kind of person doesnt want you as they probably arent the best choice anyway. My point was how a genuin person looking for a serious relationship might feel. Again, I didnt mean to get upset anyone with the superficial thing, it was a poor choice of words on my behalf. I didnt have sorority girls in mind when I was thinking of a girl for a relationship either when I was writting that post. I do, on the other hand, appriciate all your point of views being pointed out.


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## stefanie (Nov 8, 2007)

Knyghtmare said:


> I know that eventually lonelyness will succumb of me and I will end up doing one of two things: Get fed up and eventually lose the weight and find a girl, or hopefully stumble across the right girl... then lose the weight.



I don't understand ... if someone wants to be with you because she *likes* your size, why would you want to lose the weight? Is it just that you want to lose the weight in general? 

This is how I see it. I have one child in college, and from what she tells me about her friends, other people she knows in college - well, it's hard. It seems like a lot of people are having trouble forming and keeping relationships. The reasons probably go way beyond issues of fat and thin. Even among thinner people, there seems to be a lot of pressure on being "socially acceptable," "successful," "perfect." These attitudes are relationship-killers.

I have been married for over two decades to someone who wasn't fat when I married him, but got fat (BHM-size) as he got older. I love him very much, think his body is awesome, etc. I have always liked fat men - but the fat men I met when single, well, we didn't "click." One was so shy about making a move that it wasn't until months later I realized how he felt, what was going on, and by then I was with someone else. The other, when I made my move, turned out to be gay. (This was when gay people were more closeted than many are today.) C'est la vie... ; )

To the younger, single guys - someone mentioned the "Hot thread" (I think it's called "The IT factor") over on the main board. Yes, the women who posted there seemed to mostly express a preference for thin or muscular/tall men. I didn't post there because there didn't seem to be any point; I'm as far "out of the market" as you can be, and still be in the species... LOL. But if I had posted over there, I would have said, Yes, I like fat men. But it's not the *only* thing for me; never has been. 

However, a lot of the women did mention personality - how personality was a critical factor for them, including things like confidence, sense of humor, willingness to listHen, etc. It wasn't all about "hot bodies."

This is something both men and fat women have to deal with, though. Some fat men like thin women; some fat women like thin men. Nobody can choose their sexual turn-ons. However, some people are also pretty flexible (as *edx* said), and maybe the important thing is not whether a partner likes *all* fat bodies, but that the partner likes *yours.*

Sorry it got long; off the soapbox now...


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## SnapDragon (Nov 8, 2007)

I think a lot of people have trouble finding someone to have a good relationship with. I know people who are in relationships that they don't seem to enjoy, just because they've compromised too much or not been very selective for fear of being left behind. In the end, people on this forum are spread out all over the place, and for every man on the board wishing a thin woman would get excited about him taking his shirt off, there's a thin woman lusting after a fat man who's not interested, and wishing in vain he'd understand why she gets so excited at the prospect of his shirt coming off. (I know, I've been there). I don't think it's unique.

I don't know about other people here, but I've never been mad keen on the idea of meeting people as potential mates on the internet. I fall in love with someone's mannerisms and smell and a hundred little nuances, like how they jiggle when they run downstairs, and that doesn't come across on a forum. Make friends, and maybe go from there, yes, but not meet someone to go out with.

-SnapDragon.


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## TraciJo67 (Nov 8, 2007)

stefanie said:


> But if I had posted over there, I would have said, Yes, I like fat men. But it's not the *only* thing for me; never has been.



What a thoughtfully written post. Wish I could rep you twice for it. 

I saw the thread that you're talking about, and I felt the same way. I don't have a hard-wired preference; for me, it is all about how a man carries himself. If he's slouching, defensively postured, and looks completely miserable within his own skin, then he's not attractive to me no matter what his size. My eyes are usually drawn to tall, thin, men with olive complexions. But I've found something attractive in the whole gamut -- said common denominator being men who didn't take themselves so seriously, who were confident and looked very comfortable in how they were occupying their space. 

A good example: John Goodman. A very hot, very desirable fat man. He has that "aw shucks" appeal and sense of humor that leads me to believe he'd be a whole lotta fun, both in and out of the bedroom.


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## charlieversion2 (Nov 8, 2007)

stefanie said:


> (I think it's called "The IT factor")




This goes to show how much of a geek I am.

I thought it meant "information technology" Factor.


(>.<)'


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## Ninja Glutton (Nov 8, 2007)

> What's with all the hate people?! Not one BHM ever dare mention that he wants a thin FFA and mainly a thin FFA because no matter what at least ONE PERSON will come and say he is wrong! What if the guy isn't into fat women? The is a "Hot Boy Thread" back at the main forum and nobody says that there should be more fat men.



Amen, brother. Maybe some people aren't hardwired to be attracted to specific types of people, but I definitely am. Like I said, I know what turns my crank. In my 21 years on this earth, I have learned the nuances of my own body both physically and emotionally. I'm just not attracted to larger women. I don't feel guilty about it. Deal with it.


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## KJS258269 (Nov 8, 2007)

Hey I have been on both sides of the fences. I used to be really muscular and stocky. I weighed in at around 220 or 230. This was when I was 17 or 18 years old. I used to get girls that liked me. I played football and wrestled. Then I had an injury at 19 that caused to not be as active. I am 25 now almost 26 and I now weigh in close to 350lbs. I retained the muscle in my arms, thighs and even in my chest. I Just got a nice belly now. I still feel I look great and I could still get women who find me attractive. I have a person that I am with who belittles me all the time and tells me what a fat gimp I am. But despite this I just don't care. I am a sexy beast and there are women out there who would love to with a big guy with some skill. LOL. It is all about exuding confidence without being too cocky. If you can show that your not bothered by the way you look and aren't afraid to approach who you want to approach then I guarantee someone is gonna want you. You don't need a personals site for FFA's to get a nice girl. You have to be active in your search. Go out and talk. Believe me. When I got bigger I thought man there isn't any clothes that I can wear like I used too. Believe me go to Casual Male XL and stores like that and buy some nice clothes to cruise the town on. Grab some of your boys for fun that can actively help you when your out. Or get ahold of me and come to Indy and I will help you.
Confidence is always key.


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## Rhino1978 (Nov 8, 2007)

well here my two pence worth lol... im into the woman not what she stands for or looks like its the person inside the body that shines thorugh,Its no good having a stunning slim FFA if she has the personaltity of a bulldog sucking on a wasp and the same with a BBW.And hopefully most women are like that too.Yes there has to be some attraction but surely the most part has to me on personality dont it!!.


If im wrong just slap me and tell me to shut up...i can go on a bit ha ha


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## BLUEeyedBanshee (Nov 8, 2007)

Rhino1978 said:


> well here my two pence worth lol... im into the woman not what she stands for or looks like its the person inside the body that shines thorugh,Its no good having a stunning slim FFA if she has the personaltity of a bulldog sucking on a wasp and the same with a BBW.And hopefully most women are like that too.Yes there has to be some attraction but surely the most part has to me on personality dont it!!.
> 
> 
> If im wrong just slap me and tell me to shut up...i can go on a bit ha ha



Bulldog sucking on a wasp...OMG...that is awesome.

I actually just posted something of a simliar vein in it's own thread, coin operatred BHM. Seriously yeah I have strong attraction to the big guys...but a bulldog sucking on a wasp BHM...awww hell to the no.


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## Rhino1978 (Nov 8, 2007)

BLUEeyedBanshee said:


> Bulldog sucking on a wasp...OMG...that is awesome.
> 
> I actually just posted something of a simliar vein in it's own thread, coin operatred BHM. Seriously yeah I have strong attraction to the big guys...but a bulldog sucking on a wasp BHM...awww hell to the no.



SPOOKY!!!!!!


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## charlieversion2 (Nov 8, 2007)

Rhino1978 said:


> bulldog sucking on a wasp


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## Ninja Glutton (Nov 8, 2007)

Rhino1978 said:


> well here my two pence worth lol... im into the woman not what she stands for or looks like its the person inside the body that shines thorugh,Its no good having a stunning slim FFA if she has the personaltity of a bulldog sucking on a wasp and the same with a BBW.And hopefully most women are like that too.Yes there has to be some attraction but surely the most part has to me on personality dont it!!.
> 
> 
> If im wrong just slap me and tell me to shut up...i can go on a bit ha ha



I agree, personality is the most important thing, but there has to be some semblance of physical attraction as well. Let's not be naive.


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## Nose_body_knows (Nov 9, 2007)

Wow I am actually posting something of my opinion.

I have been married for the last four years to my beautiful wife, who's weight goes up and down like a yoyo, she has been healthy weight to bbw and back again, she also has a alot of muscle at the moment. I for one find all her shapes and forms attractive, she is always beautiful, inside and out. 

Anyone in my opinion can like whatever they want, be them large or small, thin or fat, short or tall. 
Whatever tickles your fancy. I know people have conflicting opinions and we like to voice them quite frequently and vehemently, and blast off our rockets at anyone who doesn't agree, but really isn't everyone entitled to their own opinion?

I guess what I am saying is, if you don't like what someone says, ignore what they said, rather than raising a fuss, because really, you will never sway them to your point of view with ease and its quite a pointless waste of time.

Right, now its time for people to agree or disagree with what I have said depending on their opinion.


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## TrickBaby (Nov 9, 2007)

first off I'm new to this so really sorry if this comes off in any way kind of rude thats not my intention...

yes, yes,yes, you are entitled to be attracted to who ever you want. i don't think any one has a problem with that. but so are the women you meet. if their just not attracted to you then you need to deal with it. its not cos their more superficial or cant see that you have a penis, its who they are. 
and i wouldn't blame it ALL on your size. I'm a slim girl and i go for bigger guys but its a lot more complicated then that. i understand that its not nice to feel lonely but please don't become bitter and look outside for things/people to blame. i sure you a great guy, confident, outgoing and the rest but however maybe look a little close to home and you might discover the problem or even expand you horizons.

lots of use (big, small, tall and short) have problems finding people we click with. you just got to keep looking.


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## Ninja Glutton (Nov 9, 2007)

TrickBaby said:


> first off I'm new to this so really sorry if this comes off in any way kind of rude thats not my intention...
> 
> yes, yes,yes, you are entitled to be attracted to who ever you want. i don't think any one has a problem with that. but so are the women you meet. if their just not attracted to you then you need to deal with it. its not cos their more superficial or cant see that you have a penis, its who they are.
> and i wouldn't blame it ALL on your size. I'm a slim girl and i go for bigger guys but its a lot more complicated then that. i understand that its not nice to feel lonely but please don't become bitter and look outside for things/people to blame. i sure you a great guy, confident, outgoing and the rest but however maybe look a little close to home and you might discover the problem or even expand you horizons.
> ...



Meh, I wouldn't call myself bitter. And I understand the street goes both ways. I was just venting. Obviously, every girl is not going to be attracted to me. I was just feeling down and out that night and when I feel down, I write. I don't feel like I'm bitter or resentful at all. I'm just rolling with the punches.


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## TrickBaby (Nov 9, 2007)

well im glad to hear you were just venting and have left the dark place, and i really hope you dont end up bitter cos, to be honest... 

most of the short petite girls i know dont go weak at the keens at the sight of a 300lb guy with his shirt off. (im 5'6 and 130lb so i dont count as petite) im not saying that chick aint out there but she may take longer to find. 
does it really get you that down and lonely? and is that much of a priority to find this petite girl who adores your body? if its more about this and less about fa then i agree with whoever said you could always lose weight. it would increase your chances.

im just saying cos i am someone looking for something very particular so i expect to wait a while and it dont get me down. but who knows someone unexpected may just sweep me off my feet.


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## LoveBHMS (Nov 10, 2007)

TrickBaby said:


> well im glad to hear you were just venting and have left the dark place, and i really hope you dont end up bitter cos, to be honest...
> 
> most of the short petite girls i know dont go weak at the keens at the sight of a 300lb guy with his shirt off. (im 5'6 and 130lb so i dont count as petite) im not saying that chick aint out there but she may take longer to find.
> does it really get you that down and lonely? and is that much of a priority to find this petite girl who adores your body? if its more about this and less about fa then i agree with whoever said you could always lose weight. it would increase your chances.



TB- I am sure you didn't mean for this to sound rude, but it comes across as a little mean. To say "short petite girls don't go weak at the sight of a 300 lb" goes against the entire point of the BHM threads. FFAs come in all shapes and sizes; many of the women who post here range from very skinny to what dear, sweet Ivy calls "regulation size". 

Whether or not a woman is attracted to a 300 lb man has nothing to do with her own size, just as some fat guys will be attracted to skinny girls and some to SSBBWs.


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## chickadee (Nov 10, 2007)

Everyone is entitled to their own sexual preferences- of course!

My point is to keep an open mind. I've met thin men and dismissed them immediately because of their size, only to find out that they had a gorgeous personality and soul. Because of their sweet personality, they became handsome for me, and I came to see their body type as beautiful, too. Maybe it doesn't work this way with other people, but it might. Just food for thought.


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## TrickBaby (Nov 11, 2007)

LoveBHMS said:


> TB- I am sure you didn't mean for this to sound rude, but it comes across as a little mean. To say "short petite girls don't go weak at the sight of a 300 lb" goes against the entire point of the BHM threads. FFAs come in all shapes and sizes; many of the women who post here range from very skinny to what dear, sweet Ivy calls "regulation size".
> 
> Whether or not a woman is attracted to a 300 lb man has nothing to do with her own size, just as some fat guys will be attracted to skinny girls and some to SSBBWs.



ok so let me see if i can get my point across without sounding like a complete bitch.

what im trying to say is...yeah, ffa are a minority. so if your looking for a specific body type withing a minority your gonna have to look a little longer. not that small chicks aren't into big guys, just that its a minority within a minority.

i think most people i know are attracted to what the media promotes as 'good looking'
for example, i think if most men had a choice between some skinny busty Blondie and, lets say, me. most would choose the blond. not because i'm hideous (im a super amazing hottie, just so you all know) but because.... i dont know, the media reflexes societies desires? or that the media creates an image to be desired? whatever, the majority of guys dig the latest fhm cover model. and vice-versa. 

in real life i have never met ANYONE else who has a preference for larger men. the great thing about finding this site is the realization that im really NOT that weird after all. however i still feel like im in a tiny minority. i recently thought i'd be brave, let a few people in on my preferences and they found it hilarious (there probably still laughing). this is where most of my views come from. im not trying to be mean just telling it how i see it. people (good and bad) can be very narrow minded and find it had to grasp.


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## Ninja Glutton (Nov 12, 2007)

Just FYI... this was ultimate thread hi-jack-age lol. I didn't want this to be a debate over skinny vs large women or which is more attractive. I was just simply stating how lonely I've been feeling lately, and how any kind of female attention is nice to have. I know having a girl at your side isn't the most important or necessary part of a happy, prosperous life, but it's a real moodlifter. It's nice to be wanted sometimes. Like I said, I have so much built-up romantic love to give and spread around, but it feels like its been lying dormant far too long. Sorry if any of my posts came off rude or ignorant. Beautiful women do come in all shapes and sizes, but something about a shorter girl in my arms is a beautiful thing. It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside... and isn't that what this board is all about in the first place? The acceptance of your body and your pursuit of happiness and comfort in an exceedingly-cruel and narrowminded world. 

If anyone ever wants to chat (regardless of location or FFA status) I'd be happy to converse. You can never have too many friends. Bonus points if you're a film/music geek.


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## zonker (Nov 13, 2007)

chickadee said:


> Everyone is entitled to their own sexual preferences- of course!
> 
> My point is to keep an open mind. I've met thin men and dismissed them immediately because of their size, only to find out that they had a gorgeous personality and soul. Because of their sweet personality, they became handsome for me, and I came to see their body type as beautiful, too. Maybe it doesn't work this way with other people, but it might. Just food for thought.



I have experienced the same exact thing with a woman who I would never have been initially attracted too -- way too skinny, 5'11" and 130 pounds!

Yet I came to love her and her size (although she later packed on the pounds), and we lived together for more than 8 years...


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