# Obesus, I'm Concerned!



## Jeannie (Oct 20, 2005)

Obesus has removed his avatar, profile pic and and profile. He has disabled his PM's and e-mails.    

Does anyone have any idea what happened? He is my good buddy and I just can't believe he would close up shop like this and not tell me what is going on.

Someone please help if you can! If you have his email address, please PM me!

Thanks,
Jeannie


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## William (Oct 20, 2005)

maybe he is just giving himself a over-haul or make over?

William


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## Fortune Cookie (Oct 20, 2005)

It looks like he's still there to me, avatar and all. Maybe something got disabled earlier by mistake?


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## Jeannie (Oct 20, 2005)

Thanks guys. He is back! Thank goodness! I thought we had lost him.


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## missaf (Oct 20, 2005)

You scared me! I would be very sad if he left


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## missaf (Oct 25, 2005)

Hmm Obesus still has his PMs turned off.. I hope everything's ok!


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## Jeannie (Oct 25, 2005)

Took his avatar and profile pic down again too. He's been gone for days.  

I hope he comes back soon. I miss him a lot.  

Tim, if you're lurking, I'd like to talk to you. Please write me hon.


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## missaf (Oct 25, 2005)

Jeannie said:


> Took his avatar and profile pic down again too. He's been gone for days.



It bothers me when people disappear from online communities. We never see the whole picture, the whole person, and we rarely know when something's wrong


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## Jeannie (Oct 25, 2005)

missaf said:


> It bothers me when people disappear from online communities. We never see the whole picture, the whole person, and we rarely know when something's wrong



It bothers me too. Especially when you have been posting with someone for years and you get attached. I did talk to him briefly after I made the first post in this thread so I do know what's going on with him (sort of). I_ think _he's ok, but whether or not he'll ever come back? I haven't a clue.  

I know he loves this community so hopefully he will miss it as much as we miss him and he will return soon. 

This place just isn't the same without you Rev.


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## Fat Ol' Maestro (Oct 26, 2005)

Jeannie, I wouldn't worry too much. He comes and goes from groups. He's been known to run full-tilt on things like Yahoo groups, then closes them down. Why? Ah, there is part of his mystique.

He'll be back. If not, I have some resources to track him down.

The Artist formerly known to Jeannie as Mak


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## Jeannie (Oct 26, 2005)

Oh my goodness, my heart just skipped a beat or two!! I was just thinking about *you *during all that SUMO talk!! Speaking of missing people!! How the heck are you? Now that you have delurked I HOPE to see you more than once every few years!! MAKASUMO dear, you made my day! I'm very happy to see you!  

Thanks for the info on Tim. I'm glad to know it's a typical thing. I won't worry so much. As for tracking him down... Nah, he knows where I am if he ever wants to talk to me. My door is always open.  

{{{{{{{{{{MAK}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} :kiss2:


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## ataraxia (Oct 26, 2005)

Obesus has the Eris nature. (Otherwise known as the "Ned nature" around here.)

I'm sure he'd protest that he has the "Bob" nature instead if he were to see this.


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## Jeannie (Oct 26, 2005)

ataraxia said:


> Obesus has the Eris nature. (Otherwise known as the "Ned nature" around here.)
> 
> I'm sure he'd protest that he has the "Bob" nature instead if he were to see this.




"Eris", "Ned", "Bob"... Is that all code for "Batshit Crazy" ???


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## ataraxia (Oct 26, 2005)

Jeannie said:


> "Eris", "Ned", "Bob"... Is that all code for "Batshit Crazy" ???


Well, the "Ned" is our very own Ned Sonntag... But yes, that's the right idea. Though we prefer "chaotic" or "random". We must have politically correct insanity here.


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## Jeannie (Oct 26, 2005)

ataraxia said:


> Well, the "Ned" is our very own Ned Sonntag... But yes, that's the right idea. Though we prefer "chaotic" or "random". We must have politically correct insanity here.



Well, whether he be Ned, or Bob or Ted, or Alice, or even Batshit Crazy, I'm quite fond of the dude. 

However I do think he deserves a *Very Big Spanking* for leaving town like this!!


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## Obesus (Oct 27, 2005)

Oh my....I am sure, as we all know, that I work in a mental health clinic inside a substance abuse program and you might ask how I got here....I went through an unimaginable hell during my substance abuse days, including criminal justice experience, but I have been clean and sober and in active recovery for seven years after going through treatment at the program I have now worked for for the same seven years....I even do a relapse prevention group for another program a block away (San Francisco is not only awash in substance abuse, but programs to treat it!) I work at our facility in the toughest part of town, down at 15th and Mission and it is a challenge to remain clean walking through the gauntlet of dealers in the block between BART and the clinic. So, the upshot is that when I feel a little shaky or a lot shaky, as I recently have, it usually means that I have been under waaaay too much stress and too much happening all at once. Stress is my defined trigger and I have become probably over-sensitive to it, because of the ramifications of relapse. That is when I withdraw into 12-step meetings and refocusing on my recovery. I have been known to suddenly withdraw from all social congress for awhile and this time I had an active episode of OCD on top of it all which always lurks in my background...if you are not cognizant of all this, it makes no sense, but pulling back every once in awhile is critical to my remaining productive and out in the community....I hope it makes a bit more sense, but I was wrong to not bring this to light sooner. It is moments like this when I realize that I am not always such a great person to be around....my ex-wife is also in recovery and we are parts of each other's support networks, so she is used to it, and I tend to be just a tad histrionic and narcissistic...ooooh...I better get out the DSM-TR-IV and do a bit of self-work....I am sorry and apologize to the whole community...but that doesn't take it away...so now, acres of Catholic guilt...sigh....


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## Jeannie (Oct 27, 2005)

You don't owe an apology to the community. You have every right to take off as needed. We (especially me, I'm sure) were just concerned about you. Had you just left for a break without taking all your info & pics with you, it wouldn't have been so alarming. As it was, it just seemed so drastic and permanent.

I'm glad you're back and I'm especially glad you made it through that rough spot without a relapse. 

We missed you. I missed you. It's way too quiet around here when you aren't LOLing about something or other (or flirting with me).  

I still think I should spank you though.


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## Boteroesque Babe (Oct 27, 2005)

...but I'd really like to give you a hug right now. I don't know you, and I can't tell if I'm responding to your strength or your hyperawareness of your weakness, but I just wanna say... much respect, Man.

And godspeed.


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## Obesus (Oct 27, 2005)

That is hardly a way to punish me, if you catch my drift! LOL Miss Jeannie, you are a true gem...I am woozlin' and frammoushed out here in the fog and rain...but you just put a spark in the air and bunny-toes on my hair...errr......head...you know what I mean!


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## Obesus (Oct 27, 2005)

Thanks so much...I think the most important part of the reason I really went into recovery (after failing five other programs) was the fact that our program focused on the "family" concept...folks who had never had a family or known what that was like to take care of anyone but themselves, found out what it was like to hug each other and care about someone else...it is an amazing and magical thing in this world. Next month we have our 36th annual celebration of achievement where over 300 people who have completed program from our facilities all around California, including some of our in-prison facilities like California Men's colony and Valley State Prison for Women, all stand on stage and a couple of thousand people share in their victory...I always break down and cry like a baby, because it just seems like a miracle...a lot of guys named "Moose" and "Killer" from Corcoran State Prison have gone on to start their own treatment programs out in the boonies, where it is almost impossible to get help...I guess it is just blessed to be able to work in such a wonderful place...now, if they could just get me an intern, so I can take Saturdays off! LOL Oh and that "no raise in seven years" thing could stand a look...but I will be moving into employment with the City and County of San Francisco sometime over the next few months..I am finally on the Civil Service List...yay!


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## Obesus (Oct 27, 2005)

Jeannie said:


> "Eris", "Ned", "Bob"... Is that all code for "Batshit Crazy" ???


Well, the truth of the matter is that I am a simple pagane'...a man of the countryside and simple farm ways, who does not understand the complicated religions of the city-people and their crazy statues...I love bunnies, trees, clouds and beautiful gems! Oh...and stars.....oooooooooh! Fog is nice too.


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## Jeannie (Oct 27, 2005)

> I love bunnies, trees, clouds and beautiful gems! Oh...and stars.....oooooooooh! Fog is nice too.



Me too Obe, me too.  

Glad you're back.


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## missaf (Oct 27, 2005)

Ya, no apology needed, I was just worried about you! I do know though, that a large part of both depression and recovery can involve a certain amount of pulling away, just know we're around with friendly ears


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## Obesus (Oct 27, 2005)

I can't tell you how good it feels to be back here....with folks that make me feel safe. We tend to forget that we are out here on the fringes of society and that we are bucking huge social forces...it is not always easy...but thank you...so much! I have been thinking a lot about a situation on the old board over the past few days...there was a woman who was stuck in a horrible situation with her mother and she kept coming here for solace and validation and I think everyone pulled together and we did everything we could, but her existential problems were so overwhelming that she threatened suicide one evening on the board and she was never heard from again...I had been talking to her in email and I knew the general location where she lived, but I was helpless...I didn't have any way to tell 911 the exact address to go to for the 5150....for years I have wondered if she is OK and I do pray that she made it through that night and that she is still with us...it is so important to support each other....


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## Edward (Oct 27, 2005)

Friendly ears (and eyes ;-) are very important things. As Obesus says, it is very important for us to support each other. In my case, my weight is due to decades of binge eating in reaction to PTSD related depression which formed a feedback loop. No pun intended (though it is funny, having noticed it . Last year I got put on prozac and I'm more functional. But I still have very serious problems with depression and other challenges, and knowing there are other people out there who really do accept me as I am is very healing and healthy for me. Thanks!


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## Webmaster (Oct 27, 2005)

Obesus said:


> I can't tell you how good it feels to be back here....with folks that make me feel safe.



Tim, you're always welcome here. One reason why I am running the Dimensions site the way I am, without many dramatic changes in format and direction other than tweaks and upgrades, is that I want for it to be a steady, continuous beacon and community so that people can always come here when they want to and need to be with friends.


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## Obesus (Oct 27, 2005)

The sense of support and community here at the BHM/FFA board has been building over the years and I think it is slowly becoming the real reason for coming here! Fat men are usually at the bottom of the list of concerns because even most fat activists assume that fat men have no problems and are more accepted than fat women in our society....this attitude has been slowly but surely changing and it is being realized that we have serious social problems because of size too. It is sometimes hard to figure out how and why we eat...it is complex, but you have a lot of insight into your situation. That is probably the best starting place of all...insight...and that is where support can be critical....I have the bad habit of withdrawing from support right when I need it most, which is actually a typical substance abuse shame reaction...it is wired in there and I have to learn to work around it..that is where everyone around me comes in...it is the temptation to crawl into a dark closet which is the bad part. I know that PTSD can be absolutely devastating and the secondary effects surrounding it can be very serious in themselves. For our folks, we use a form of self-help and community support building called "Seeking Safety", which is a great help. I think that whatever way you work with your situation, it is always good to have a place to talk about the added complexities of being fat. Please do let us know when we can offer support. The wonderful thing about Dimensions in general is that you know you will be safe and accepted here...one of the few places in the world where this is the case....I know that is why I keep coming back here year after year...it just feels like a homebase for me...I hope you will join in and always let us know how you are! I love to check in on my "people" to see how they are....but sometimes I forget to do that for myself! 



Edward said:


> Friendly ears (and eyes ;-) are very important things. As Obesus says, it is very important for us to support each other. In my case, my weight is due to decades of binge eating in reaction to PTSD related depression which formed a feedback loop. No pun intended (though it is funny, having noticed it . Last year I got put on prozac and I'm more functional. But I still have very serious problems with depression and other challenges, and knowing there are other people out there who really do accept me as I am is very healing and healthy for me.  Thanks!


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## Obesus (Oct 27, 2005)

There just aren't enough ways to say "Thank You" for providing that beacon and I think the sense of community is really growing here with the new format...there are so many new possibilities to communicate and get a sense of where people really are in their lives....I can't think of anywhere else where fat folk can really feel safe and talk about the problems of size and everything else around it that come in real life....so I want to thank Heather too for setting up the community "give back" opportunity...the most healing thing in the world is to give back some of the support we get here and support you with a little contribution now and again...it feels good to be able to be a part of that too! Thanks! 



Webmaster said:


> Tim, you're always welcome here. One reason why I am running the Dimensions site the way I am, without many dramatic changes in format and direction other than tweaks and upgrades, is that I want for it to be a steady, continuous beacon and community so that people can always come here when they want to and need to be with friends.


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## Obesus (Oct 27, 2005)

But the truly Zen answer to the koan..."What do you do when you meet Bob in the road?"...is clearly "Give him the ol' atomic wedgie!" I think a lot of my attitude and thought is actually being influenced by folks like Ramsey Dukes, Genesis and Stephen Sennett and the other UK Chaos Magick folks as well as Sci-Fi types like Charles Stross. it is just refreshing to hear people actually thinking and cross-pollinating and not just repeating the last 800 years of tradition in a mindless and droning chant....I know the olden traditions inside and out, so I really appreciate the sense of synergy. I have such a love-hate relationship with Robert Anton Wilson...he is just such an Irish leprechaun! LOL It is really an amazing time for magick folk and even those serious Thelemic types seem to be catching a bit of the Eris spirit here and there, eh? The one thing that does trouble me is that there is a thread of anti-fat thought in some areas of Chaos Magick...it is an old prejudice from the association of esotericism and the "health culture" and New Age thing from the 60's...Ray Sherwin pretty much comes out and says you need to be "fit" to do chaos magick in "The Book of Results"...which is otherwise a wonderful book...let us prove him the heck wrong! We'll get torches and storm the castle and...ooops...that is a whole 'nother thing! ROFLMFAO:eat1: 
Praise Ned, though! LOL


ataraxia said:


> Obesus has the Eris nature. (Otherwise known as the "Ned nature" around here.)
> 
> I'm sure he'd protest that he has the "Bob" nature instead if he were to see this.


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## Fat Ol' Maestro (Oct 27, 2005)

Glad to see you have returned, Tim. I had a feeling you were in a time of transition. Happens to all of us.

Now, someone mentioned "Bob." As a fully-ordained minister (and until recently, a lapsed member) of the Church of the SubGenius, I must remind you, Brother Tim, that the one thing that makes the difficult transitions more tolerable is Slack. I wish you much Slack, and hope that such a wish helps.

Praise "Bob".

As for you, Jeannie, you and I must have a talk soon. Yes, I have been lurking and not posting, but these things happen. So, soon.


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## ataraxia (Oct 27, 2005)

Obesus said:


> But the truly Zen answer to the koan..."What do you do when you meet Bob in the road?"...is clearly "Give him the ol' atomic wedgie!" I think a lot of my attitude and thought is actually being influenced by folks like Ramsey Dukes, Genesis and Stephen Sennett and the other UK Chaos Magick folks as well as Sci-Fi types like Charles Stross. it is just refreshing to hear people actually thinking and cross-pollinating and not just repeating the last 800 years of tradition in a mindless and droning chant....I know the olden traditions inside and out, so I really appreciate the sense of synergy. I have such a love-hate relationship with Robert Anton Wilson...he is just such an Irish leprechaun! LOL It is really an amazing time for magick folk and even those serious Thelemic types seem to be catching a bit of the Eris spirit here and there, eh? The one thing that does trouble me is that there is a thread of anti-fat thought in some areas of Chaos Magick...it is an old prejudice from the association of esotericism and the "health culture" and New Age thing from the 60's...Ray Sherwin pretty much comes out and says you need to be "fit" to do chaos magick in "The Book of Results"...which is otherwise a wonderful book...let us prove him the heck wrong! We'll get torches and storm the castle and...ooops...that is a whole 'nother thing! ROFLMFAO:eat1:
> Praise Ned, though! LOL


Ha haha! YOU are the w00tmeister - I give up all claim to that title. I never would have guessed that you were actually into Chaos Magick also. I'm re-reading some Phil Hine at the moment, myself.

And yes, RAW does have some useless bits, eh? When he's good he's very very good, but when he's bad, he awful!


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## Obesus (Oct 28, 2005)

Twould be a blessing to have a bit of slack right about now, but things are starting to perk up with the Magick meet-up group and I'm doing a little music show tomorrow night with my ex-wife at the gallery where her show is opening...so, there is promise and a bit more perk....I totally forgot that you were "of Bob", as are a lot of folks in the Fat Acceptance movement...Dr. Brainburger comes to mind....I am extending a small copy of the "Fist of Removal to you" and a lifetime membership in the "Church of the Three-Sumo Bob"...omigosh....did I ever mention that I have a theory that when Bob was "assassinated" back in the day, his mighty SLACK was so hefty that it had to be reincarnated in three separate sumo wrestlers? It is an arch-heresy, but don't it just make some damn SENSE!??? ROFL Blessed Father Sumo, I need to print up some fancy type certificate, making you a high epopt of the Church...or maybe Treasurer, which is more fun! LOL Thanks for being around again...it is a blessed thing!
:eat2: 



Fat Ol' Maestro said:


> Glad to see you have returned, Tim. I had a feeling you were in a time of transition. Happens to all of us.
> 
> Now, someone mentioned "Bob." As a fully-ordained minister (and until recently, a lapsed member) of the Church of the SubGenius, I must remind you, Brother Tim, that the one thing that makes the difficult transitions more tolerable is Slack. I wish you much Slack, and hope that such a wish helps.
> 
> ...


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## Fat Ol' Maestro (Nov 1, 2005)

Obesus said:


> Blessed Father Sumo, I need to print up some fancy type certificate, making you a high epopt of the Church...or maybe Treasurer, which is more fun! LOL Thanks for being around again...it is a blessed thing!
> :eat2:



I would be honored, Brother Obesus, if you did such a thing. Take care of yourself first, of course, and if you see your way clear to a certificate, that would be great.

Now, if I could select something from the Library of the Rev. Obesus Damiato, I'd be asking for scans of Bellybusters, of which I seem to remember you have many.


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## Obesus (Nov 4, 2005)

We had a rushed move situation from 29th Avenue out here to the hills, because the folks who sold the house we were renting only gave us a month to move out...so I lost several boxes of very rare and precious printed matter...somewhere....it was a very messy time...I lost a whole box of rare Crowleyana as well as a box of my fat archives...guess which one...they could have been left in the truck...I never did figure it out, but time moves on and the whacking myself on the head stopped some time ago...I will try to design a suitable Bobbian certificate from the Church of the Three-Sumo Bob!:bow: 





Fat Ol' Maestro said:


> I would be honored, Brother Obesus, if you did such a thing. Take care of yourself first, of course, and if you see your way clear to a certificate, that would be great.
> 
> Now, if I could select something from the Library of the Rev. Obesus Damiato, I'd be asking for scans of Bellybusters, of which I seem to remember you have many.


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## Edward (Sep 16, 2006)

Obesus said:


> The sense of support and community here at the BHM/FFA board has been building over the years and I think it is slowly becoming the real reason for coming here! Fat men are usually at the bottom of the list of concerns because even most fat activists assume that fat men have no problems and are more accepted than fat women in our society....this attitude has been slowly but surely changing and it is being realized that we have serious social problems because of size too. It is sometimes hard to figure out how and why we eat...it is complex, but you have a lot of insight into your situation. That is probably the best starting place of all...insight...and that is where support can be critical....I have the bad habit of withdrawing from support right when I need it most, which is actually a typical substance abuse shame reaction...it is wired in there and I have to learn to work around it..that is where everyone around me comes in...it is the temptation to crawl into a dark closet which is the bad part. I know that PTSD can be absolutely devastating and the secondary effects surrounding it can be very serious in themselves. For our folks, we use a form of self-help and community support building called "Seeking Safety", which is a great help. I think that whatever way you work with your situation, it is always good to have a place to talk about the added complexities of being fat. Please do let us know when we can offer support. The wonderful thing about Dimensions in general is that you know you will be safe and accepted here...one of the few places in the world where this is the case....I know that is why I keep coming back here year after year...it just feels like a homebase for me...I hope you will join in and always let us know how you are! I love to check in on my "people" to see how they are....but sometimes I forget to do that for myself!



I'm back. Glad things seem the same. It's a strange but pleasant experience to be more accepted by others than I am by myself.


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## Obesus (Sep 17, 2006)

It is always nice to have you around and, yes, things are just about the same, except totally different!  Things have grown and changed and there is much more activity on the Board and new people and it is just better. You are always accepted around these here parts! :bow: 



Edward said:


> I'm back. Glad things seem the same. It's a strange but pleasant experience to be more accepted by others than I am by myself.


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## BigFusionNYC (Sep 28, 2006)

Brother Obesus is alive and well, thus says The General. LOL


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## Obesus (Oct 5, 2006)

....the General speaks only truth; the Rev. Obesus-wan-Kenobi is on a creative perk and sayin' "anyone up for a nice cup o' joe and a sandwich?"
 :bow: :eat1: 



BigFusionNYC said:


> Brother Obesus is alive and well, thus says The General. LOL


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