# FA are sexist?



## EtobicokeFA (Mar 20, 2013)

Sorry if this was covered before, however what about the question of accusation of sexism with all FAs?


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## loopytheone (Mar 20, 2013)

That is an accusation?! I've never heard that one before, nor do I see how it applies...


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## azerty (Mar 20, 2013)

I guess some FA are sexiest, male chauvinist pigs and some not. Like any other man.
The question is what do I do to prevent sexism


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## FAbrony (Mar 20, 2013)

ive never heard this b4 either


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## EtobicokeFA (Mar 21, 2013)

Sorry. 

I guess with the renewed talk about what is and is not compatible with feminism, I just wanted to start the discussion to ensure, that FAism was not on the wrong side.


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## musicman (Mar 21, 2013)

EtobicokeFA said:


> I guess with the renewed talk about what is and is not compatible with feminism, I just wanted to start the discussion to ensure, that FAism was not on the wrong side.



So, do you plan to renounce your "FAism" if someone accuses you of being on the wrong side? It doesn't work that way with me. I know that I'm attracted to fat women, and I will never prefer thin women. My preference will not change, regardless of anyone's current political opinion. Realizing that fact is a big part of what fat acceptance (and self-acceptance) is all about. We need more of that in the world, and less bowing to "political correctness" and the irrelevant opinions of other people.


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## EtobicokeFA (Mar 21, 2013)

musicman said:


> So, do you plan to renounce your "FAism" if someone accuses you of being on the wrong side? It doesn't work that way with me. I know that I'm attracted to fat women, and I will never prefer thin women. My preference will not change, regardless of anyone's current political opinion. Realizing that fact is a big part of what fat acceptance (and self-acceptance) is all about. We need more of that in the world, and less bowing to "political correctness" and the irrelevant opinions of other people.



I do not want to renounce FAism, but feminism is more than political correctness.

I believe in both, in hopes that they are compatible.


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## musicman (Mar 21, 2013)

EtobicokeFA said:


> I do not want to renounce FAism, but feminism is more than political correctness.
> 
> I believe in both, in hopes that they are compatible.



I too support feminism, but your post seems to imply some recent change in what feminists would find acceptable. What is it? Could you supply some context for your original post?

Is someone trying to re-define FAism? Being an FA is simply a preference in your romantic or sexual partners. By that definition, it clearly has no bearing, positive or negative, on feminism. If you happened to like tall women, how would that impact feminism? I'm sorry, but they seem totally independent.


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## ConnieLynn (Mar 21, 2013)

As a feminist, I can assure you that an FA' s preference for fat women does not ruffle my feathers. I don't know why, after all these years, folks can't grasp the simple basics of feminism. 

Granted, some FAs do treat women as fat objects, but that is no different than some non-FAs treating thinner women as a walking set of breasts. Regardless of their preferences, these are the guys to avoid.

If you treat women as equals and with respect, you have no worries.


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## CastingPearls (Mar 21, 2013)

EtobicokeFA said:


> Sorry if this was covered before, however what about the question of accusation of sexism with all FAs?


Can you cite anything at all, any link or URL that shows FA-ism is sexist, please, because I've never heard of this.


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## EtobicokeFA (Mar 22, 2013)

ConnieLynn said:


> As a feminist, I can assure you that an FA' s preference for fat women does not ruffle my feathers. I don't know why, after all these years, folks can't grasp the simple basics of feminism.
> 
> Granted, some FAs do treat women as fat objects, but that is no different than some non-FAs treating thinner women as a walking set of breasts. Regardless of their preferences, these are the guys to avoid.
> 
> If you treat women as equals and with respect, you have no worries.



Thank you for the response. 



CastingPearls said:


> Can you cite anything at all, any link or URL that shows FA-ism is sexist, please, because I've never heard of this.



To be honest it is more conversation around the office lunchroom, that any thing else. 

The discussion was if being attracted to any physical attributes equates to objectification.


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## Hamdinger (Mar 22, 2013)

I've thought about this and here's my question; Is it sexist to be a FA/FFA who isn't fat? At least more so than fat on fat or thin on thin relationships?

I want to be as muscular and defined as I can be, because that's masculine to me. It helps to know that my wife also likes that. I like my wife to be big and soft, because that's feminine to me. And she's liking it more and more. I see men as hard and hairy, and women as big, soft, and smooth. That's just how I've always seen the genders. However, I also get that some women see a big fat man as masculine and they see femininity as being small and dainty. It's not how I feel but I can see how it makes sense in a way.

I'm not sure if having two very different ideals of how the genders should look makes you sexist or just hetero in an unusual way.


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## Azrael (Mar 26, 2013)

Hamdinger said:


> I've thought about this and here's my question; Is it sexist to be a FA/FFA who isn't fat? At least more so than fat on fat or thin on thin relationships?
> 
> I want to be as muscular and defined as I can be, because that's masculine to me. It helps to know that my wife also likes that. I like my wife to be big and soft, because that's feminine to me. And she's liking it more and more. I see men as hard and hairy, and women as big, soft, and smooth. That's just how I've always seen the genders. However, I also get that some women see a big fat man as masculine and they see femininity as being small and dainty. It's not how I feel but I can see how it makes sense in a way.
> 
> I'm not sure if having two very different ideals of how the genders should look makes you sexist or just hetero in an unusual way.



It's not really an unusual thing, it's something that's incredibly common in modern society.

Different characteristics are regarded as being "feminine" and other characteristics as "masculine" because of this, certain qualities are seen as being desirable for men and others for women.

Such a thing is predominately socially/individually created, the only type of thing which really isn't is based on sexual dimorphism.

As an example, I have that same type of opinion as you that I find women who are chubbier to be more "feminine" than I do smaller women however my male ideal is something much different from you. My male ideal is that a man should be the "perfect gentleman". He should be well dressed, well behaved, clean shaven, and should not be too muscular, too fat, nor too hairy. While he is a man he is not a beast which is why I'm not a fan of too hairy nor too muscular whereas fat for me is feminine and so it goes contrary to the ideal.

Others would prefer a man with hair, muscles, and a belly and they'd call that masculine but that is not my ideal of what I strive to be.

Whether seeing certain qualities as desirable on men and not on women is "sexist" or not is up to what other people think. It's a double standard that's for sure though.

I think it tends to be sexist when people say that ALL women should strive for this or that they are not feminine because they aren't this.

Individuals have different tastes and what one recognizes as being feminine or masculine another might not.

---As far as for whether being an FA is sexist...--
I've heard it moreso mentioned that being a feeder is sexist not so much being an FA


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## lovelocs (Mar 27, 2013)

EtobicokeFA said:


> The discussion was if being attracted to any physical attributes equates to objectification.



I'd like to talk to someone who held that view, rigidly. I'd ask how attraction and courtship could possibly work, then? :huh:


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## Extinctor100 (Mar 27, 2013)

lovelocs said:


> I'd like to talk to someone who held that view, rigidly. I'd ask how attraction and courtship could possibly work, then? :huh:



LOL you'd be surprised. I've had about a dozen or more conversations in my life with people who feel that making *any* of a person's physical attributes the criteria of your attraction, is objectifying and chauvinistic, and it apparently empowers rape culture.

I'm not even kidding. Which makes it even funnier than if I _was_ kidding.


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## bigmac (Mar 27, 2013)

lovelocs said:


> I'd like to talk to someone who held that view, rigidly. I'd ask how attraction and courtship could possibly work, then? :huh:



Exactly, sexual attraction is what separates romantic love from friendship. Its been my experience that romantic relationships usually start with a great deal of objectification. If it turns out you're compatible emotionally and intellectually then the relationship develops -- if not at least you had a good night or two.

I think a lot of people go about courtship backwards. Getting to know one another before deciding to have sex is very inefficient. If the sex sucks the relationship is doomed and all the time and effort spent getting to know each other has been for naught. Far better take your potential partner for a test drive early.


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## Jon Blaze (Mar 28, 2013)

I've heard the accusation before, and I don't think it's accurate. Being attracted to something physical (even at high levels) is not objectification until the desire is separated from the person in my opinion. I don't think it's any more or less common. 

As for sexism in a more chauvinistic sense, I feel the same way.


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## Tad (Mar 28, 2013)

Maybe the people of that view assumed that to be attracted to a fat person it must be a fetish/objectification thing, that it couldn't possibly be that you simply find them to be more attractive? Hence to them, FA would mean objectifying, would be sexist? (just brain storming)


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## des256 (Mar 29, 2013)

Yeah, that sounds familiar. Remember, for some people fat equals unhealthy and lazy/sloppy, so people that claim they are attracted to fat 'simply have to be' a sinister freak, 'because it makes no logical sense otherwise'.

It kind of feels like racism, I'd say.


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## drew_edwards (Apr 4, 2013)

I don't think we're any more or less sexist than any other guys. It just depends on the man. I certainly don't think I'm sexist.


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## Miskatonic (Sep 26, 2013)

It's simple: the sex objectification displayed by a lot of FA's is considered alien by a sizeable majority of the population and therefore it's "worse" than the sex objectification that permeates mainstream society. The FA population is no more sexist than any other male demographic; it's just considered to be because OBVIOUSLY no right-minded individual would want a fat chick so OBVIOUSLY they're fetishizing them.

Though, to be fair, there are a LOT of FA's who do fetishize BBW's.


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## MrWhiteShin (Sep 28, 2013)

I haven't been active in the community for a little while...so I don't really know about these accusations. The worst ones that I heard were generally about us FA's being "maniacal control freaks who would manipulate women into gaining weight by whatever means we could."


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## Excellent21 (Jan 2, 2014)

As an FA and a gender-egalitarian feminist myself, I do not understand why it is any different from liking any other body type. Sexism in my opinion is treating a person according to their sex or gender when it is not important (e.g. when it is not related to sexual attraction or romantic relationships). Thus, I do not see being an FA as sexist; could be my bias as an FA, though.


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## mediaboy (Jan 5, 2014)

I'm not going to go through life feeling ashamed because I have a sexual preference. Nor, will I go through life suppressing it.

Anyone willing to claim that any form of preference is objectification which reinforces patriarchy and rape culture is truly sophomoric.

Preference /= Objectification

When I see a pretty girl whom I am interested in having sexual relations with I first see some physical attribute that grabs my attention and then I see the girl.

I see the person.

I see the human being.

I mean, her butt might be amazing, it might be the best butt ever in the history of butts, but if *she* doesn't have a certain something then I tip my hat to her and don't approach her(or rape her).

So, gentlemen; tonight when you go home ask yourselves if you actually love your significant other or if you just love their fat.


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## joswitch (Jan 5, 2014)

EtobicokeFA said:


> Sorry.
> 
> I guess with the renewed talk about what is and is not compatible with feminism, I just wanted to start the discussion to ensure, that FAism was not on the wrong side.



First: there is no such thing as "FAism" - your sexual preference / desire is not a political identity.

Secondly: Which feminism? There are many different feminisms. 

Some of which define you as being "on the wrong side" for just being who you are, or having sexual desire / having sex. So you might want to be specific as to which feminism you are referring to.

For example:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Daly#Views_on_men .... she said, "If life is to survive on this planet, there must be a decontamination of the Earth. I think this will be accompanied by an evolutionary process that will result in a drastic reduction of the population of males."[23]
and
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sisterhood_is_Powerful
containing exerpts from this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SCUM_Manifesto
also
Google: Radical Feminism PIV and have a look around.

In contrast:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christina_Hoff_Sommers

One exampe of feminist schism:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminist_Sex_Wars
Also, google: TERF transphobia


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## joswitch (Jan 5, 2014)

MrWhiteShin said:


> I haven't been active in the community for a little while...so I don't really know about these accusations. The worst ones that I heard were generally about us FA's being "maniacal control freaks who would manipulate women into gaining weight by whatever means we could."



Shhhh!!... Remember Rule #1 of the League of Sinister Feedaz.


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