# Too old to "just date"?



## ecogeek (Feb 9, 2013)

So I am 29...I feel like EVERYONE I know is settled down. About 1.5 years ago I got out of a very long term relationship and I feel like I just want to go out with guys. I've never been one of the types to just go on a date and not give it a second thought. Most of this is due to the fact that I AM a really large girl and previous to finding this site some months ago had no clue that guys even liked girls my size. 

Right now though, all I want is a movie and some dinner...? I even pay my own way! It feels like a first to me to just want to have some fun and "just date."


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## largebob280 (Feb 9, 2013)

You're not "too old" for anything. It's like that nearly two-thirds of your life is ahead of you, not behind you.

I think things Down Under aren't that much different than here in the U.S. Even though you might think your friends are all settled down for the long term, they probably are not. You will see a steady turnover of your friends' relationships as the years go by.

As for "just dating," I suggest you participate in local groups of people share your interests - a gaming club, a cinema club, or even just a local pub. You're likely to find people there that are willing to go out on a simple date.


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## Sweetie (Feb 9, 2013)

ecogeek said:


> So I am 29...I feel like EVERYONE I know is settled down. About 1.5 years ago I got out of a very long term relationship and I feel like I just want to go out with guys. I've never been one of the types to just go on a date and not give it a second thought. Most of this is due to the fact that I AM a really large girl and previous to finding this site some months ago had no clue that guys even liked girls my size.
> 
> Right now though, all I want is a movie and some dinner...? I even pay my own way! It feels like a first to me to just want to have some fun and "just date."



I think that's what I'm looking for too. After two very disappointing relationships I'm just looking for someone to spend some time with.


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## LJ Rock (Feb 10, 2013)

You are never too young or too old to learn how to love and be yourself and to find joy and be happy. Life is too short and too precious for anything else! Don't worry about the things you think you are supposed to be doing, or what others expect of you. You're the only one who knows what you really want out of life and what will make you happy, so focus on that. Focus on your joy and your desires. 

29 is still very young, and you're a pretty girl. I am sure there are plenty of guys who would like to take you out and get to know you. So go ahead, have fun!  

If a long term serious relationship is what you are ultimately seeking, it will come to you when the time is right and if you are open to it. Thinking about it logically: buckling down with the wrong someone just because you long for the stability of a committed relationship closes you off from being with someone who will truly make you feel fulfilled. So don't settle, and don't rush into something that isn't right. Take your time and let what you're looking for find you. 

It might feel discouraging sometimes, we all feel that way. Just remember who you are and how much you are worth, and never settle for anything less. Everything will work out just fine - you will see.


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## ecogeek (Feb 10, 2013)

LJ Rock said:


> It might feel discouraging sometimes, we all feel that way. Just remember who you are and how much you are worth, and never settle for anything less. Everything will work out just fine - you will see.



LJ, what an amazing bit of advise. This is how I usually feel in life these days. Thank you for that.


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## LJ Rock (Feb 12, 2013)

ecogeek said:


> LJ, what an amazing bit of advise. This is how I usually feel in life these days. Thank you for that.



I wish you the best of luck!


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## EMH1701 (Feb 14, 2013)

I'm 37 and I've dated. However, I've had it up to here *raises hands to head* with Internet dating of total strangers.


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## bigmac (Feb 14, 2013)

EMH1701 said:


> I'm 37 and I've dated. However, I've had it up to here *raises hands to head* with Internet dating of total strangers.



And people you meet at a bar or club aren't total strangers at first?

Internet dating has been a great benefit for many fat people. The internet is a great place for marketing specialty products to niche markets (which pretty much describes the BBW/FA world).

IMHO there are a few basic rules that maximize internet dating success:

1) Don't waste time on people who are not your demographic. If you're not religious don't bother answering an add wherein the poster describes the depth of his or her faith. If you're looking for an intellectual don't bother answering an add wherein the poster goes on about partying and monster truck rallies;

2) Read between the lines. If a person says they are a college grad but their narrative is written at a junior high level -- red flag. If the hair style and clothing in the photo look a little out of date the photo's old. If the prospect lists movies, music, or books he or she likes this can be valuable information -- a person who lists a string of Clint Eastwood movies is saying something -- listen;

3) Meet the person IRL. Think of internet dating like you would shopping for a used car on Craigslist -- don't waste time -- get some basic information and then decide if you want to go for a test drive or not. People are never the same IRL so meet the real person. Falling for an internet persona is a recipe for disaster.


Just my two cents -- hope its helpful. FYI I met my wife online five years ago when I was 43 and she was 36.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Feb 14, 2013)

I met my fiance on Dimensions chat in 2007. Dates that result from meeting online can turn out to be 1000% more amazing than you expect.


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## EMH1701 (Feb 14, 2013)

bigmac said:


> And people you meet at a bar or club aren't total strangers at first?
> 
> Internet dating has been a great benefit for many fat people. The internet is a great place for marketing specialty products to niche markets (which pretty much describes the BBW/FA world).



I think the problem was the people I met online wanted to move way faster than I did. Whatever happened to actually wanting to get to know someone and be friends first?


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## penguin (Feb 14, 2013)

Plenty of people want to take it slowly and get to know each other first. The folks you've been chatting to obviously aren't, so you need to let them know about your boundaries and standards. If they're not interested in respecting them, then move on. There are plenty of other people out there.


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## ClashCityRocker (Feb 14, 2013)

ecogeek said:


> So I am 29...I feel like EVERYONE I know is settled down. About 1.5 years ago I got out of a very long term relationship and I feel like I just want to go out with guys. I've never been one of the types to just go on a date and not give it a second thought. Most of this is due to the fact that I AM a really large girl and previous to finding this site some months ago had no clue that guys even liked girls my size.
> 
> Right now though, all I want is a movie and some dinner...? I even pay my own way! It feels like a first to me to just want to have some fun and "just date."



glad to know that there's others in this boat. i have like 3 weddings to attend in the first half of this year, and numerous other friends are settling down, having kids, etc. it's disheartening at times because i, too, want nothing more than to grab a drink with someone and share crazy stories or challenging conversation. i'm 28 this summer, but i'm not letting the course of the lives of those around me dictate the direction of my own. trying not to, anyway.


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## ecogeek (Feb 15, 2013)

ClashCityRocker said:


> it's disheartening at times because i, too, want nothing more than to grab a drink with someone and share crazy stories or challenging conversation. i'm 28 this summer, but i'm not letting the course of the lives of those around me dictate the direction of my own. trying not to, anyway.



It seems that unfortunately in our age group everyone is after the hard sell for marriage and kicking out some kids. I have goals in life and would eventually love to share that with someone. At this point though, I just don't think that planning for something long term is healthy. Some of the girls I know have been on one date with a guy and are already planning their (imaginary) weddings. It just seems very presumptuous to me. My two cents anyways.


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## bigmac (Feb 15, 2013)

EMH1701 said:


> I think the problem was the people I met online wanted to move way faster than I did. Whatever happened to actually wanting to get to know someone and be friends first?



I've always thought that its weird to talk about how far you want to go physically in advance. Doubly weird to talk about it online before you've even met. 

However, for IRL encounters I've always been a strong proponent of doing what feels right. In my books there's no shame in ripping each other's clothes off on the first date if it feels right. That's me -- luckily I met someone who felt the same way.

One more piece of advise -- distance matters IRL. Its Valentine's Day and I'm 240 miles (385 km) from home.


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## BigBeautifulMe (Feb 15, 2013)

bigmac said:


> I've always thought that its weird to talk about how far you want to go physically in advance. Doubly weird to talk about it online before you've even met.
> 
> However, for IRL encounters I've always been a strong proponent of doing what feels right. *In my books there's no shame in ripping each other's clothes off on the first date if it feels right.* That's me -- luckily I met someone who felt the same way.
> 
> One more piece of advise -- distance matters IRL. Its Valentine's Day and I'm 240 miles (385 km) from home.



And ladies, anyone who tells you a guy won't marry you if you take him home the first night is a big fat liar.


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## reuben6380 (Feb 15, 2013)

Wow, 29 is soooooo not old!


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## ecogeek (Feb 15, 2013)

Of course it isn't. I was making a reference to the fact that most people I know have settled down or are currently doing so.


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## penguin (Feb 16, 2013)

I'm 36 and haven't.  but I'm not interested in the dating "scene", because it feels too much like hunting and never being happy with who you are.


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## bigmac (Feb 16, 2013)

penguin said:


> I'm 36 and haven't.  but I'm not interested in the dating "scene", because *it feels too much like hunting *and never being happy with who you are.



This points out an interesting difference between males and females -- guys like hunting (at least if they're successful every now and then). 

Although this many be changing. Tonight my oldest female cub is heading out to prowl in San Francisco with four of her friends.


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## bigmac (Feb 16, 2013)

ecogeek said:


> Of course it isn't. I was making a reference to the fact that most people I know have settled down or are currently doing so.



Its interesting how experiences can vary. It was my experience that the late twenties through early thirties life stage was a period when prior marriages and arrangements broke down and people became single again.


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## bigmac (Feb 16, 2013)

BigBeautifulMe said:


> And ladies, anyone who tells you a guy won't marry you if you take him home the first night is a big fat liar.



Yeah -- and when you get married you get to frolic every night. At least until you have kids and actual sleep becomes a priority.


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## reuben6380 (Feb 16, 2013)

Actually mac has a very good point! Now that i think about it, i know alot of couples that have gotten divorced around this age. People that got married in they're early twenties and i suppose just grew apart. I don't presume to know why people do what they do because life and relationships can be a very complicated issue and marriage is not easy at times! I, of course, have discovered the trick to material bliss, the woman is always right


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## penguin (Feb 16, 2013)

bigmac said:


> This points out an interesting difference between males and females -- guys like hunting (at least if they're successful every now and then).
> 
> Although this many be changing. Tonight my oldest female cub is heading out to prowl in San Francisco with four of her friends.



I have an ex-friend who is a serial monogamist. She hasn't been single for longer than 6 months since she started dating, back in 1993. She's been married twice and engaged another time, and usually has no more than two months between jumping into a serious relationship. She doesn't date, she hunts for her next husband. 

I guess some people hunt down the next conquest and others hunt down the next spouse. I'm not interested in that kind of exhausting lifestyle. Besides, I can't afford to be constantly going out like that. I'd much rather hang out at home with my daughter.


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## snuggletiger (Feb 19, 2013)

Im blessed with having people to have a casual dinner with. Blessed with lots of friends, I just realize the older I get the less I understand about hints and nonverbal clues, and If by some odd wild wacky chance I do pick up on something I usually say something dumb like the "Tappan Line" and it gets even wonkier.


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## Sweetie (Feb 19, 2013)

snuggletiger said:


> Im blessed with having people to have a casual dinner with. Blessed with lots of friends, I just realize the older I get the less I understand about hints and nonverbal clues, and If by some odd wild wacky chance I do pick up on something I usually say something dumb like the "Tappan Line" and it gets even wonkier.



I like wonky. :happy:


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## snuggletiger (Feb 19, 2013)

I have to be the wonkiest person I know.


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## ClashCityRocker (Feb 21, 2013)

ecogeek said:


> It seems that unfortunately in our age group everyone is after the hard sell for marriage and kicking out some kids. I have goals in life and would eventually love to share that with someone. At this point though, I just don't think that planning for something long term is healthy. Some of the girls I know have been on one date with a guy and are already planning their (imaginary) weddings. It just seems very presumptuous to me. My two cents anyways.



well said. i can't speak for the future (and i've never tried), but where i am right now i wanna keep moving forward w/what i'm doing and improving myself and my shit. maybe romance's down the road, maybe not, but right now, i'd just like to keep bettering myself and getting laid periodically.


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## ecogeek (Feb 21, 2013)

ClashCityRocker said:


> well said. i can't speak for the future (and i've never tried), but where i am right now i wanna keep moving forward w/what i'm doing and improving myself and my shit. maybe romance's down the road, maybe not, but right now, i'd just like to keep bettering myself and getting laid periodically.



It would seem we are on the same journey!


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## Stuffingkit (Feb 21, 2013)

ecogeek said:


> LJ, what an amazing bit of advise. This is how I usually feel in life these days. Thank you for that.



Solid advice indeed


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## ClashCityRocker (Feb 22, 2013)

ecogeek said:


> It would seem we are on the same journey!



good to know i'm alone but not lonely..or vice versa. either way, glad someone agrees


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## StrugglingWriter (Feb 22, 2013)

ecogeek said:


> So I am 29...I feel like EVERYONE I know is settled down. About 1.5 years ago I got out of a very long term relationship and I feel like I just want to go out with guys. I've never been one of the types to just go on a date and not give it a second thought. Most of this is due to the fact that I AM a really large girl and previous to finding this site some months ago had no clue that guys even liked girls my size.
> 
> Right now though, all I want is a movie and some dinner...? I even pay my own way! It feels like a first to me to just want to have some fun and "just date."



Well, are you thinking babies? Because that's a pretty important consideration.


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## ecogeek (Feb 22, 2013)

No, not currently.



StrugglingWriter said:


> Well, are you thinking babies? Because that's a pretty important consideration.


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## Morganer (Feb 22, 2013)

ClashCityRocker said:


> well said. i can't speak for the future (and i've never tried), but where i am right now i wanna keep moving forward w/what i'm doing and improving myself and my shit. maybe romance's down the road, maybe not, but right now, i'd just like to keep bettering myself and getting laid periodically.



I would agree with that. Sometimes, we have priority like work and such that can make dating difficult to come by. If that can be overcome, then to "just date" as was said could turn into whatever the two people want it to be. I feel it is different for every two people.


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## kayleeskandy (Feb 22, 2013)

I think no one is too old to date! You are only as young as you feel.


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## paintsplotch (Feb 26, 2013)

Im 39. I would love to date. However it hasnt happened much for me. Most of thedudes either are no shows or they want fwb only. I want a relationship. I find the bbw websites have alot of the same peeps. Most never respond. Lots are fakes. Be careful but dont give up hope. Put yourself out there and stay positive. Confidence is sexy. 
Im staying hopeful and keeping my eyes open. Maybe i will be shocked and find a keeper. .


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## ClashCityRocker (Feb 26, 2013)

paintsplotch said:


> Im 39. I would love to date. However it hasnt happened much for me. Most of thedudes either are no shows or they want fwb only. I want a relationship. I find the bbw websites have alot of the same peeps. Most never respond. Lots are fakes. Be careful but dont give up hope. Put yourself out there and stay positive. Confidence is sexy.
> Im staying hopeful and keeping my eyes open. Maybe i will be shocked and find a keeper. .



you have a damned good mentality abt the whole thing..that's great to hear, and again, reassuring to know that people think abt it that way. it's a frustrating state of affairs at times but yeah, confidence is sexy and positivity is absolutely necessary.


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## CaAggieGirl (Feb 26, 2013)

ecogeek said:


> So I am 29...I feel like EVERYONE I know is settled down. About 1.5 years ago I got out of a very long term relationship and I feel like I just want to go out with guys. I've never been one of the types to just go on a date and not give it a second thought. Most of this is due to the fact that I AM a really large girl and previous to finding this site some months ago had no clue that guys even liked girls my size.
> 
> Right now though, all I want is a movie and some dinner...? I even pay my own way! It feels like a first to me to just want to have some fun and "just date."



Ok, so I will be 30 in a little over a month. MOST of my old high school friends and college friends are married and have kids. There are plenty of days that I feel like I am behind in life. However, I am not in a hurry to get married or have kids. (Though I have totally had enough of people telling me "my time is running out to have kids") I jus want to be with someone and have fun and enjoy life.


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## paintsplotch (Feb 27, 2013)

ClashCityRocker said:


> you have a damned good mentality abt the whole thing..that's great to hear, and again, reassuring to know that people think abt it that way. it's a frustrating state of affairs at times but yeah, confidence is sexy and positivity is absolutely necessary.



Lets face it. Every time you leave the house to go to the store or take a walk you have a chance to meet someone wondeful. Maybe you wont have makeup on and u think u look like butt, and he will see past it cuz you have a dazzling smile. Thats what i tell myself every time i walk out the door. You just never kmow when someone is falling in love with your smile.


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## bigmac (Feb 27, 2013)

CaAggieGirl said:


> Ok, so I will be 30 in a little over a month. MOST of my old high school friends and college friends are married and have kids. There are plenty of days that I feel like I am behind in life. However, I am not in a hurry to get married or have kids. (Though I have totally had enough of people telling me "my time is running out to have kids") I jus want to be with someone and have fun and enjoy life.



It was my experience that the Central California dating pool is a deep as your average parking lot puddle. Pretty much everyone I know needed to cast a wider net to snare an appropriate fish (myself included).


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## GordoNegro (Feb 27, 2013)

You're entitled to go out have a fun time without any awkward moments or pressure for more intimacy. Every other weekday, I would see episodes of The People Court and Divorce Court and see the lessons that others learned too late. Sometimes people wind up trapped in situations, they could have avoided; if they chose to have fun, date and learn about someone first.
If others feel you are wasting 'their' time, you can simply move on to the next 1 with no permanent strings attached.


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## CaAggieGirl (Feb 28, 2013)

paintsplotch said:


> Maybe you wont have makeup on and *u think u look like butt*, and he will see past it cuz you have a dazzling smile.



This is awesome an hilarious!




bigmac said:


> It was my experience that the Central California dating pool is a deep as your average parking lot puddle. Pretty much everyone I know needed to cast a wider net to snare an appropriate fish (myself included).



Greaaatt. Looks like I will be all alone for a bit, or forever. I do catch myself saying things like " seriously?", "are you freaking kidding me", and " only in Fresno..." Quite a bit since I moved here.


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## Still a Skye fan (Feb 28, 2013)

Well...as many others have said, you're never too old to "just date". You have decades of life ahead of you. Take whatever comes your way, whenever it comes your way.

You're gonna do great.


Dennis


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## ClashCityRocker (Feb 28, 2013)

paintsplotch said:


> Lets face it. Every time you leave the house to go to the store or take a walk you have a chance to meet someone wondeful. Maybe you wont have makeup on and u think u look like butt, and he will see past it cuz you have a dazzling smile. Thats what i tell myself every time i walk out the door. You just never kmow when someone is falling in love with your smile.



it's true!!!!


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## KittyKitten (Feb 28, 2013)

I'm also 29 and recovering from a major heartbreak. This guy was what I wanted. He was different from the rest. My trust in people has been compromised. I'm a romantic at heart, but my heart has become a bit fragile. It's hard because I will be hitting 30 soon. I would like to have a husband and children but it is really hard to find the right one. Men can produce babies into their 50s, 60s, and 70s! Our eggs have a limited lifespan. After age 35, a woman is more at risk for having a baby with a serious birth defect. I feel like the clock is ticking. Heartbreak at 30 is not the same as heartbreak at 20, because you have a lot of time. That's just the way I feel.


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## snuggletiger (Feb 28, 2013)

I just find I am too different. Part of it is always being different , and part of it is if 100 guys tell a girl one thing, I'll try to say the opposite just to be on the other side and not lumped in with the other 100. some people catch on to that and most of the time people don't. Plus most of the time women look at you funny when you say "dinner is just dinner, I don't have any expectations beyond dinner."


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## ecogeek (Mar 1, 2013)

I think that once 100 people have told us one thing, it is very hard to accept the one who is telling us something different. This is no fault of yours.  As for the "dinner is just dinner" comment...a lot of people think of getting together as some crazy commitment. Ready to jump head over heels into anything and everything. I think its a woman thing...unfortunately.



snuggletiger said:


> I just find I am too different. Part of it is always being different , and part of it is if 100 guys tell a girl one thing, I'll try to say the opposite just to be on the other side and not lumped in with the other 100. some people catch on to that and most of the time people don't. Plus most of the time women look at you funny when you say "dinner is just dinner, I don't have any expectations beyond dinner."


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## CaAggieGirl (Mar 1, 2013)

You know what? I do want to get married and possibly have a kid. I want to wake up to my husband in the morning, hear about his day when we get home from work, take care of him when he gets sick, surprise him with something he wants on some random day, etc. 

I spent 10 years with my ex and I do not have much to show for it (okay, while we were together I received my bachelors and masters degree, and passed the CPA exam, but there is not much that says there was a relationship) and I do not want to do that again.


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## bigmac (Mar 2, 2013)

CaAggieGirl said:


> ...
> 
> Greaaatt. Looks like I will be all alone for a bit, or forever. I do catch myself saying things like* " seriously?", "are you freaking kidding me", and " only in Fresno..."* Quite a bit since I moved here.



I've come across some great Fresno dating stories. Like the baby mama who turned on her baby daddy when she found out that he gave his other baby mama a stolen Ford Explorer (but had only given her a stolen X-box)


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## CaAggieGirl (Mar 2, 2013)

bigmac said:


> I've come across some great Fresno dating stories. Like the baby mama who turned on her baby daddy when she found out that he gave his other baby mama a stolen Ford Explorer (but had only given her a stolen X-box)



That is hilarious. Sometimes I wonder about the gene pool here


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## ecogeek (Mar 2, 2013)

I'm from the Modesto area. I only go back to visit family on holidays but I definitely get what you are talking about.


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## superodalisque (Mar 4, 2013)

in your late twenties and early thirties a lot of people are on that kick. everything looks perfect and all sweetness and light right now because it's all new and a lot of people succumb to the pressure. but in a few years you're going to see a whole lot of divorces because social reasons just aren't enough of a reason to get married or even live together. it has to be real. keep on enjoying being you and take your time until the truly right one comes along and not just Mr Right Now.


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## ecogeek (Mar 4, 2013)

Great advise! I'm already seeing that phase kicking in. Hell, I was on it myself. As others have said...you get with someone very young but over time your priorities change. Realise you want different things. I'm just enjoying life and learning about me right now. 



superodalisque said:


> in your late twenties and early thirties a lot of people are on that kick. everything looks perfect and all sweetness and light right now because it's all new and a lot of people succumb to the pressure. but in a few years you're going to see a whole lot of divorces because social reasons just aren't enough of a reason to get married or even live together. it has to be real. keep on enjoying being you and take your time until the truly right one comes along and not just Mr Right Now.


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## bigmac (Mar 4, 2013)

KittyKitten said:


> I'm also 29 and recovering from a major heartbreak. This guy was what I wanted. He was different from the rest. My trust in people has been compromised. I'm a romantic at heart, but my heart has become a bit fragile. It's hard because I will be hitting 30 soon. I would like to have a husband and children but it is really hard to find the right one. Men can produce babies into their 50s, 60s, and 70s! Our eggs have a limited lifespan. *After age 35, a woman is more at risk for having a baby with a serious birth defect.* I feel like the clock is ticking. Heartbreak at 30 is not the same as heartbreak at 20, because you have a lot of time. That's just the way I feel.




The risk starts to increase after 35 but only a little -- it doesn't really take off until the mother is in her mid 40s. My wife had our two youngest when she was a month short of being 37 and a month short of being 39 respectively. In both cases they did genetic analysis and didn't find any abnormalities -- the girls are 2 and 4 now and don't have any problems.

Hospital staff did, however, write "elderly" and "obese" on my wife's chart.


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## ecogeek (Mar 4, 2013)

Are you kidding!? That is ridiculous. 



bigmac said:


> Hospital staff did, however, write "elderly" and "obese" on my wife's chart.


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## bigmac (Mar 4, 2013)

ecogeek said:


> Are you kidding!? That is ridiculous.




Not kidding -- Fresno strikes again. However, other than this the staff a Fresno Community Regional Medical Center was first rate. Its a teaching hospital associated with the University of California San Francisco and has a very good high risk maternity ward. My wife was scheduled to deliver in southern California where her doctor was totally freaked out by her weight (guess fat chicks don't have babies in SoCal). The people in Fresno weren't the least bit concerned since fat chicks have babies there every day. The c-section team knew just how to handle a fat mother (including using duct tape to hold up her tummy -- they said it was "surgical tape" but it looked just like plain old duct tape).


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## CaAggieGirl (Mar 4, 2013)

bigmac said:


> Hospital staff did, however, write "elderly" and "obese" on my wife's chart.


Probably not meant as an insult. There are more risks with older women and obese women. I know on our charts there is "pregnancy primagravida" which is over 35 first time preganant and there may be a geriatric pregnancy, (I know the term is used, but not sure if it is on the charts) which refers to women over 35. I would rather see those terms on my chart than not, it means they are probably prepped in case something goes wrong or have at least thought about it.


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## ecogeek (Mar 5, 2013)

That's so they can charge you 200$ a roll mate! 



bigmac said:


> they said it was "surgical tape" but it looked just like plain old duct tape).


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## BeachLovinBBW (Apr 12, 2013)

ecogeek said:


> So I am 29...I feel like EVERYONE I know is settled down. About 1.5 years ago I got out of a very long term relationship and I feel like I just want to go out with guys. I've never been one of the types to just go on a date and not give it a second thought. Most of this is due to the fact that I AM a really large girl and previous to finding this site some months ago had no clue that guys even liked girls my size.
> 
> Right now though, all I want is a movie and some dinner...? I even pay my own way! It feels like a first to me to just want to have some fun and "just date."



I can totally relate to this only from a 43 yo perspective. I was with my husband for 14 years. It took me 10 months after I left him to even want to leave the house. I started online dating 14 months after I left him and my first relationship was the most beautiful, harmonious, fun relationship I have ever had and it was with a guy 1/2 my age that I met online. We lived 5 miles away from each other then I moved 4 hours away and things didn't work out so I started dating. I dated, like you said, just searching for cool people to spend time with, for about 8 months (had a BLAST!) then decided I wanted something serious. I had two short lived relationships and now I am back to just wanting to date and enjoy someone's company. I think it is great that you are looking for that and I think we are all entitled to have fun people to spend time with while we wait for someone special to come along. Best of luck!


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