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  1. A

    ambivalence as an |un|closeted fa

    I swear I'm not just logrolling with Misty here. I think I know what she's saying, and I've been tempted to bring this point up from the beginning. Basically, there's a contradiction with some women (of any size) who are caught between wanting to be wanted for their bodies but not wanting to be...
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    ambivalence as an |un|closeted fa

    That's an excellent point and something I've struggled with at various points. I think anyone who ever considers leaving a relationship because they've changed, or come to a hard realization about themselves, questions whether it's actually the scenario you paint, or if they just want change for...
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    ambivalence as an |un|closeted fa

    No one can provide everything for one person. I have friends I talk to about subjects she doesn't care/know about, activities she doesn't want to do, etc. This is more serious, personal, and shifty, I realize, but that's how I relate it. It's a part of me I don't want to and really can't share...
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    ambivalence as an |un|closeted fa

    You're right - I'm really good at that.
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    ambivalence as an |un|closeted fa

    I've been coming to this site since it started and I've known I was attracted to fat women since birth, so yeah, I suppose I should have it figured out. What can I say? Situations come up that make me change perspective. One of those recently did. I'm not the same person I was 20 years ago, 10...
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    ambivalence as an |un|closeted fa

    I didn't mean you - sorry I didn't make that clear. I meant from other posters.
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    ambivalence as an |un|closeted fa

    I don't know your husband, but I would say he's unusual if he doesn't have some sexual outlet beyond you. I have to say I'M surprised by how many women I meet who think their spouse doesn't/shouldn't have a stash, or an occasional internet session that doesn't involved ESPN.com or the Onion. I...
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    ambivalence as an |un|closeted fa

    You are going to be fetishized if you (general you; not "you") pose nude or tell secrets or whatever for strangers' enjoyment on a like this. You just are. Dimensions covers a massive amount of ground - support group, social network, advice, many facets of discussion, and yes, place for men to...
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    ambivalence as an |un|closeted fa

    Interesting point. It goes to show that what you leave out can say as much as what you tell. We decided to get married about 15 years ago. We'd already been living together 3 years and it seemed like the "logical next step." Started making plans, calling places, making a list, etc. Thing is...
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    ambivalence as an |un|closeted fa

    It was my reaction from sifting the Closeted FAs thread, so that's how I framed it. Wrong for some people, right for others apparently. It touched a nerve and hurt people I respect, so even if I felt wronged by sharp responses, in the cold light of day I should have let it slide and focused on...
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    ambivalence as an |un|closeted fa

    Tap me somewhere else and we've got something going.
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    ambivalence as an |un|closeted fa

    It's a huge deal to me. It impacts on her self-esteem directly, how people perceive me, and in turn how she perceives me and my feelings for her. It's not world peace or feeding the starving children, agreed. But if you're missing it then either I'm not expressing it correctly, or it's just...
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    Closeted Fa's.

    For what it's worth, this controversy between FAs and fat women and having different expectations from Dimensions predates even this website. I recall Conrad writing about it in the print magazine way back when.
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    Holy Chinese Food!

    The wontons in peanut sauce and hot oil. I don't see this everywhere, but when I do, I always order it. I just heard my stomach grumble as I was writing that.
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    Holy Chinese Food!

    And it's better the next morning - after being in the fridge all night!
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    ambivalence as an |un|closeted fa

    I thought you were gonna stop reading like 5 pages ago. (Joke)
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    ambivalence as an |un|closeted fa

    I knew if I stepped away long enough everyone would eventualy agree with me. (That's a joke.) If my original post came off breezy, I sincerely apologize. I took it very seriously, and, if you can believe it, I spent a lot of time trying to properly explain and correctly word it. It was...
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    ambivalence as an |un|closeted fa

    ...that by some people's definition not openly defining yourself means being part of the problem, not the solution. I'm not sure how I feel on this. That's my dilemma. Accepted, yes, obviously. Here's the apology, for the world, misspelling retained: I'm sorry for intruding in this way...
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    ambivalence as an |un|closeted fa

    Huh? You didn't support me at first - you criticized me, which is fine, whatever, and wouldn't be the first time here. ...But then you piled on after I criticized Fascinita for attacking me, taking up her argument, which was not based on what I was saying, but what I represented to her. I wasn't...
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    ambivalence as an |un|closeted fa

    ?? You brought it up. Why define myself as an FA? I don't. It's the term of art here in Dimensions, and in very few other allied places. Otherwise it means "Fuck All," or something having to do with soccer in the UK. The rest of the world who knows my thing knows me as "a guy who likes fat...
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