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  1. phelan4022

    Desperate for help, no idea what to do in 2015.

    I know there are cultural differences, I have had a few teachers from India and your culture fascinates me. However, even if your focus is on your family and getting married, I don't think you're going to be able to do that if you feel terrible about yourself. Just for one day, try doing the...
  2. phelan4022

    What Men Really Think About Your Body

    Super, while you are snarky and opinionated and I usually love it, I have to disagree with you on the fault issue in your last sentence. As someone who fought to constantly reaffirm the self-esteem of the woman I cared for, be it simply through positive reinforcements, upbeat compliments...
  3. phelan4022

    What Men Really Think About Your Body

    "You must spread some rep around..." Damn good article. As it has been said, the third reason is particularly poignant. I have had a relationship with a woman I had planned to spend the rest of my life with dissolve slowly over months and years for those same reasons, and because of the guilt...
  4. phelan4022

    How to trust again?

    Honestly, it takes time. And you are worth that time. Anyone who wants to be a part of your life will be patient with you, because they will see you for your worth. Real people, the ones worth having as friends, will know that a true friendship is built slowly, over time, not in a split second...
  5. phelan4022

    Folks whose desires are firmly tied into FA-ness, have you had crushes on slim folks?

    As someone who is demisexual in addition to being an FA, for me to have a sexual attraction crush is something that only exists within the dynamic matrix of a developing relationship. Intellectual crushes are another thing entirely. While our flesh is the vessel for our souls, it is the soul...
  6. phelan4022

    Finding acceptance in a world looking for acceptance

    Every day is a new one and yet another chance for you to change your history. Be as you would be, not as others would have you be.
  7. phelan4022

    hard wired from birth to admire fat...I know I am. How about you?

    I have given this a tremendous amount of thought over the years and gotten into many a nature vs nurture argument about it. I hate to rely on anecdotal evidence, but, I think it is my own case that leans me the heaviest towards an an answer of nature being the prime mover in attraction. This is...
  8. phelan4022

    Excellent Body Positive Song!

    ..."(and not fat enough)..." In a society where the cover model on Vogue looks like she could be dying of malnourishment, I must disagree with you. In addition, there were different genders, body sizes and races in the video, far from being only pear shaped, blonde and white. I understand your...
  9. phelan4022

    Excellent Body Positive Song!

    Your in-depth analysis is correct. However, I see this as a general step in the right direction.
  10. phelan4022

    FAs again getting a bad rap in the media

    This is a very one dimensional journalistic piece. It only contains the very abbreviated views of the gal in question. Maybe her former fiance simply was an FA who cherished her curves and she never came to terms with that and, instead of simply making changes to fix her health problems (a...
  11. phelan4022

    Don't Even Know Why I'm Here

    Look at you! Paying it forward! That's what this is all about! :D
  12. phelan4022

    Describing "Fat" in a way that is decent and preserves the dignity of others

    Thank you. I'm glad we can come to an agreement. You elaborated on my premise quite beautifully. :)
  13. phelan4022

    Describing "Fat" in a way that is decent and preserves the dignity of others

    I'm a bit more inclined to scotch, but I have recently found some beers that I enjoy. A local brewery, Iron Horse, makes a beer called Irish Death. Quite tasty. I'm glad you enjoyed my post. I tend to sit back a bit and then give my two bits only to subjects I feel are quite poignant. So, kudos...
  14. phelan4022

    How do I make my girlfriend gain weight?

    You phrased this very poorly and you should be prepared for people to jump down your throat for it. You cannot and should not ever "make" someone do anything. A more delicately posed question might have been, "How can I encourage my future significant other to embrace her curvaceousness," or...
  15. phelan4022

    Describing "Fat" in a way that is decent and preserves the dignity of others

    *sighs heavily* I just lost a long post to some random, accidental keystrokes. I really need to purchase a desk top computer. Please humor me as I recap my thoughts. To answer the original poster: when men ask me what I prefer, I say big women. If asked to clarify, I will use the term fat. It...
  16. phelan4022

    Don't Even Know Why I'm Here

    Oh, I can guarantee there are people that think you are beautiful and sexy. You wouldn't believe how many guys fess up to being attracted to curvy ladies when I tell them I am. I'm very vocal about my attraction (if the topic comes up), partially for that reason. I have also personally...
  17. phelan4022

    Don't Even Know Why I'm Here

    That's wonderful. As others have said, there will still be some bad days. My significant other has Fibromyalgia, which is a neurological disorder that has NOTHING to do with weight, and she recently saw a new doc that basically told her she wouldn't have problems if she just lost weight. She...
  18. phelan4022

    Don't Even Know Why I'm Here

    The best people on Dims won't ever care whether you are fat or thin, only that you are happy and healthy. Some of us just happen to be attracted to curvaceousness as well. Regardless, the self-confidence that comes with being happy and healthy is the most beautiful thing any person can have, big...
  19. phelan4022

    World's Widest Hips

    Well, I think it's a bit of a given that I agree with the general aesthetic theme, and it is one I have seen personal evidence of. Many men, especially in light of how outspoken I am about my own attractions, will admit to desiring a curvaceous figure on a woman. I think there is a lot of...
  20. phelan4022

    Excellent Body Positive Song!

    That's completely fair. Thanks!
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