I've not posted on this board, or on ANY Dim board, in a long while (before the big server switch), but being that I'm not desirous of doing any formal re-introduction here, I'm just gonna jump right in and post. 
Last night I was out at a local club which features live music. This club is rather small - it reminds me of my town's version of Cheers - and it tends to be the same folk, generally speaking. So you can imagine my surprise when I looked up to see an unfamiliar dreamy vision of handsomeness. When I first spotted him I had to do a double take; he was stunning. He was young (mid 20s), with dark hair, dark eyes and a well-groomed goatee; he was probably 5'11" and 270, if I were to guess. He was adorable!
I knew I'd never seen him there before, so ... I approached his table, introduced myself and welcomed him. He invited me to sit at his table and, yes, I accepted. He thought I was just being hospitable and friendly, which I was, of course, but .... he was frickin' HOT! He was the most handsome (and about the only) BHM who has ever graced this place with his presence! Normally I wouldn't have been so bold, but I was feelin' particularly, well, boldy, I guess you could say.
Now for me, if I'm at a dance venue and there's good music's playin', I'm dancing; my soul is a dancer. It takes a lot to distract me from a good James Brown or Aretha song, so it's really sayin' something that I chose to remain seated and talking to him rather than shake my oh-so-ample booty on the dance floor.
Long story short (relatively so), through our conversation I discovered that he has, sadly, NEVER had a girl approach him because they thought he was attractive. Now that just blows my mind! Of course once he begins talking to a girl, they discover how smart and charming he is and they focus on that, but his body has NEVER been something on which anyone has EVER complimented him!
He couldn't believe that there were girls who were "into" guys like him; he was nearly stunned speechless when I told him that some women are truly and viscerally attracted to big guys. I mean, he literally stopped everything upon hearing this; it was as if I'd just informed him that my mother is a goat! He was shocked. Simply shocked.
Now granted, he's young - he's limited by a relatively short time here on earth - but, still, HELLO!, no girl has ever touched his belly or his chest! That just baffles my mind! What, do they just kiss him and then skip right on down to his privates? What about all of HIM between those two places! That's criminal! And it makes me sad.
We ended up talking until the place closed, then we talked in my car. I'll preface this (is it too late for prefacing?) by saying that, though he was all that and a big sexy bag of chips, this was not a love connection; our respective ages and interests are a bit too diverse. We both new this up front. BUT ... it was an incredibly beautiful, albeit temporary, connection, one from which he will (per his own words) take memories of being touched for the first time. Really touched.
Of course there was no sex (like there was ROOM for sex in my car); it wasn't about that. And, besides ... that's not my style. Hell, it was difficult enough for me to approach his flippin' table! On a personal note, I've not been in a relationship for some time, and it's been a long time since I've really felt drawn to a person. I mean DRAWN to a person. Truthfully, I thought maybe I'd lost my mojo; it seems to have been MIA as of late.
But with this young man - and again, it was so sweet, innocent (mostly) and tender; it really was - I discovered that I haven't lost anything. My desires are alive and well inside of me, and though, in his eyes, I did HIM a favor - awakened something within him he didn't even know was sleeping - the truth is, he did ME a favor. I'm alive. My physical spirit is alive. That means more to me than I could possibly even begin to express here.
I encouraged him that when seeking a partner or girlfriend, to look for someone him who not only values his mind and heart - each of which is important, of course - but someone who wants to RAVISH his body, ALL of him, not just to accept-it-because-it's-him kind of thing; merely tolerate it. UGH.
I know it's not my job to spread the good news to BHMs all around (as if they ARE all around; there don't seem to be a lot around these parts), but this specific situation presented itself and I couldn't not share with him the reality that he doesn't have to settle. And I told him that as sappy and cliche as it may sound, he deserves to be touched, loved on and cherished as he is, right now - he need not be relegated to having an entire portion of his body ignored and passed over for the rest of his life. Ick.
He told me that the time we spent together permanently raised the bar for him. It's like he didn't know what he wasn't getting until he got it; he didn't know he was missing something until he found it.
I know I'll see him there again, as he really liked the place (he recently moved here from out of the area). We talked about how we will only have warm, positive feelings towards one another if/when we do cross paths again, and that's OK with me.
This post was WAY longer than I had intended - heck, I didn't even know I was going to post! - but it just feels right, on several levels, for me to emote my experience.
Catherine
Last night I was out at a local club which features live music. This club is rather small - it reminds me of my town's version of Cheers - and it tends to be the same folk, generally speaking. So you can imagine my surprise when I looked up to see an unfamiliar dreamy vision of handsomeness. When I first spotted him I had to do a double take; he was stunning. He was young (mid 20s), with dark hair, dark eyes and a well-groomed goatee; he was probably 5'11" and 270, if I were to guess. He was adorable!
I knew I'd never seen him there before, so ... I approached his table, introduced myself and welcomed him. He invited me to sit at his table and, yes, I accepted. He thought I was just being hospitable and friendly, which I was, of course, but .... he was frickin' HOT! He was the most handsome (and about the only) BHM who has ever graced this place with his presence! Normally I wouldn't have been so bold, but I was feelin' particularly, well, boldy, I guess you could say.
Now for me, if I'm at a dance venue and there's good music's playin', I'm dancing; my soul is a dancer. It takes a lot to distract me from a good James Brown or Aretha song, so it's really sayin' something that I chose to remain seated and talking to him rather than shake my oh-so-ample booty on the dance floor.
Long story short (relatively so), through our conversation I discovered that he has, sadly, NEVER had a girl approach him because they thought he was attractive. Now that just blows my mind! Of course once he begins talking to a girl, they discover how smart and charming he is and they focus on that, but his body has NEVER been something on which anyone has EVER complimented him!
He couldn't believe that there were girls who were "into" guys like him; he was nearly stunned speechless when I told him that some women are truly and viscerally attracted to big guys. I mean, he literally stopped everything upon hearing this; it was as if I'd just informed him that my mother is a goat! He was shocked. Simply shocked.
Now granted, he's young - he's limited by a relatively short time here on earth - but, still, HELLO!, no girl has ever touched his belly or his chest! That just baffles my mind! What, do they just kiss him and then skip right on down to his privates? What about all of HIM between those two places! That's criminal! And it makes me sad.
We ended up talking until the place closed, then we talked in my car. I'll preface this (is it too late for prefacing?) by saying that, though he was all that and a big sexy bag of chips, this was not a love connection; our respective ages and interests are a bit too diverse. We both new this up front. BUT ... it was an incredibly beautiful, albeit temporary, connection, one from which he will (per his own words) take memories of being touched for the first time. Really touched.
Of course there was no sex (like there was ROOM for sex in my car); it wasn't about that. And, besides ... that's not my style. Hell, it was difficult enough for me to approach his flippin' table! On a personal note, I've not been in a relationship for some time, and it's been a long time since I've really felt drawn to a person. I mean DRAWN to a person. Truthfully, I thought maybe I'd lost my mojo; it seems to have been MIA as of late.
But with this young man - and again, it was so sweet, innocent (mostly) and tender; it really was - I discovered that I haven't lost anything. My desires are alive and well inside of me, and though, in his eyes, I did HIM a favor - awakened something within him he didn't even know was sleeping - the truth is, he did ME a favor. I'm alive. My physical spirit is alive. That means more to me than I could possibly even begin to express here.
I encouraged him that when seeking a partner or girlfriend, to look for someone him who not only values his mind and heart - each of which is important, of course - but someone who wants to RAVISH his body, ALL of him, not just to accept-it-because-it's-him kind of thing; merely tolerate it. UGH.
I know it's not my job to spread the good news to BHMs all around (as if they ARE all around; there don't seem to be a lot around these parts), but this specific situation presented itself and I couldn't not share with him the reality that he doesn't have to settle. And I told him that as sappy and cliche as it may sound, he deserves to be touched, loved on and cherished as he is, right now - he need not be relegated to having an entire portion of his body ignored and passed over for the rest of his life. Ick.
He told me that the time we spent together permanently raised the bar for him. It's like he didn't know what he wasn't getting until he got it; he didn't know he was missing something until he found it.
I know I'll see him there again, as he really liked the place (he recently moved here from out of the area). We talked about how we will only have warm, positive feelings towards one another if/when we do cross paths again, and that's OK with me.
This post was WAY longer than I had intended - heck, I didn't even know I was going to post! - but it just feels right, on several levels, for me to emote my experience.
Catherine
