(Ladies are welcome to chime in, of course, but I'm definitely hoping for some male feedback, too).
I am a bit of an oddball in that I really don't care much, if at all, about a man's attractiveness in regards to who I'd like to date. Basically, as long as he is relatively well-groomed, is clean and ascribes to the universal laws of hygiene, that's pretty much all I ask. Now, don't get me wrong - if a man to whom I'm attracted happens to be good-looking, that's nice. I enjoy that. But it's very much frosting on an already delicious cake, and completely unnecessary.
I attribute all of this to the fact that when I was in my early 20's I fell madly in love with a friend of mine, who by typical societal standards, was not terribly attractive. But I wanted him. I lusted after him in a very physical, carnal sense, because his intelligence, sense of humor, quirkiness, and our closeness turned me on more than I'd ever imagined possible.
So my point. People flat out don't believe me when I say that I don't care about looks. Women don't, men don't, nobody seems to. It always comes down to, "Well, sure, you have to be attracted to his mind, but there *has* to be a physical attraction/spark at the beginning, too...." But see, there doesn't, because thanks to my first love, I know that I can become physically attracted to someone whose brain and personality get me hot.
Is this really so hard to buy? Do I sound like I'm full of it when I say this? Does anyone else feel this way? Because the response I get when asked what I find attractive and this is my answer is somewhat discouraging - it's always met with skepticism.
Thoughts?
I am a bit of an oddball in that I really don't care much, if at all, about a man's attractiveness in regards to who I'd like to date. Basically, as long as he is relatively well-groomed, is clean and ascribes to the universal laws of hygiene, that's pretty much all I ask. Now, don't get me wrong - if a man to whom I'm attracted happens to be good-looking, that's nice. I enjoy that. But it's very much frosting on an already delicious cake, and completely unnecessary.
I attribute all of this to the fact that when I was in my early 20's I fell madly in love with a friend of mine, who by typical societal standards, was not terribly attractive. But I wanted him. I lusted after him in a very physical, carnal sense, because his intelligence, sense of humor, quirkiness, and our closeness turned me on more than I'd ever imagined possible.
So my point. People flat out don't believe me when I say that I don't care about looks. Women don't, men don't, nobody seems to. It always comes down to, "Well, sure, you have to be attracted to his mind, but there *has* to be a physical attraction/spark at the beginning, too...." But see, there doesn't, because thanks to my first love, I know that I can become physically attracted to someone whose brain and personality get me hot.
Is this really so hard to buy? Do I sound like I'm full of it when I say this? Does anyone else feel this way? Because the response I get when asked what I find attractive and this is my answer is somewhat discouraging - it's always met with skepticism.
Thoughts?
