I was reading the "Things to Consider About FAs" thread over on the main board and it reminded me of the couple of times that I've attempted to explain my preferences to my friends. I knew there were a couple of core concepts that they failed to grasp, despite their most earnest efforts, and I was wondering if other people had similar ideas that the wished that people outside of the community understood.
Mainly, though, I've also had a rant stored up for them that I've wanted to get off my chest for a while. My friends have tried so hard that I feel bad for getting frustrated, but a couple of points just keep coming back to haunt me:
First and foremost, I am not the Buddha. I haven't attained a level of spiritual enlightenment beyond that of mortal men, nor have I left behind the affairs of the flesh to exist on a higher realm. When I see a bbw, I don't telepathically see the sweet and brilliant woman whose personality could melt stone. Mostly what I see is a mental image of myself boinking her like a feral cat. I'm just as shallow and perverted as most of my guy friends, probably more so. I just happen to be attracted to a different body type.
Despite your fascinating Freudian acrobatics and stunning knowledge of ancient greek history, my preferences aren't a cover for closeted homosexuality. Frankly, if I was going to make up something like this, I'd probably come up with something more fun, like pretending that I was attracted only to women with short fingernails. If you'll agree to leave me alone about your bizarre leaps of logic to my homosexuality, I won't mention the the breastless, hipless, curveless woman on your computer wallpaper bears a striking resemblance to Wesley Crusher.
You did hear me correctly when I commented about that actress being cute. While she certainly has some nice curves, I also freely admit that she's probably only a size six. This does not mean that I am "changing teams." It simply means that I can recognize pleasant aesthetics. Of course, it shouldn't be surprising that I recognize an attractive female face, unless you still believe that I'm the darn Buddha. Maybe the next time you say that a baby is cute, I'll ask if you're becoming a pedophile.
Finally, I have absolutely no sexual interest in your grandmother. I recognize that you have had a great deal of trouble understanding this concept, but I refuse to explain it any further as I maintain that the previous sentence is completely self-explanatory.
Mainly, though, I've also had a rant stored up for them that I've wanted to get off my chest for a while. My friends have tried so hard that I feel bad for getting frustrated, but a couple of points just keep coming back to haunt me:
First and foremost, I am not the Buddha. I haven't attained a level of spiritual enlightenment beyond that of mortal men, nor have I left behind the affairs of the flesh to exist on a higher realm. When I see a bbw, I don't telepathically see the sweet and brilliant woman whose personality could melt stone. Mostly what I see is a mental image of myself boinking her like a feral cat. I'm just as shallow and perverted as most of my guy friends, probably more so. I just happen to be attracted to a different body type.
Despite your fascinating Freudian acrobatics and stunning knowledge of ancient greek history, my preferences aren't a cover for closeted homosexuality. Frankly, if I was going to make up something like this, I'd probably come up with something more fun, like pretending that I was attracted only to women with short fingernails. If you'll agree to leave me alone about your bizarre leaps of logic to my homosexuality, I won't mention the the breastless, hipless, curveless woman on your computer wallpaper bears a striking resemblance to Wesley Crusher.
You did hear me correctly when I commented about that actress being cute. While she certainly has some nice curves, I also freely admit that she's probably only a size six. This does not mean that I am "changing teams." It simply means that I can recognize pleasant aesthetics. Of course, it shouldn't be surprising that I recognize an attractive female face, unless you still believe that I'm the darn Buddha. Maybe the next time you say that a baby is cute, I'll ask if you're becoming a pedophile.
Finally, I have absolutely no sexual interest in your grandmother. I recognize that you have had a great deal of trouble understanding this concept, but I refuse to explain it any further as I maintain that the previous sentence is completely self-explanatory.
