As I post this thread, I feel like ranting. After a day of enjoying some grocery shopping with my mom... that turned to an argument, me threatening to kill her, me crying, and my mom thinking I am a psyhco.
First off, a usual talk about worrying about me getting too fat. She acted odd, using how I was skinny as a kid(and I was not, I was slightly chubby), and saying there was a skinny person wanting to come out... I argued that was impossible, that I did not feel that way, then I cried, I threatened her, I wanted to die. I told her how I loved being fat(I told her before, and my fat passions, which she relunctantly accepts, or even opposes), that I would never want to change. Just my behavior, my attitude towards things, and my shyness. The arguments spanned all over how she thought I was a loser, how I told her that is an obnoxious term used by children, then how I told her that all this health **** quarreling meant NOTHING to nature. She just kept bantering on how I was acting like my brother.(and I was, now I know I have a form of emotional bipolar disorder) Yet, I tried my VERY BEST to be assertive, but it got out of hand.
Me and her, both made up, saying we were both at fault. She told me that she should never mention such things... and that what happens, happens. Everything was okay, yet I still am having a tug of war of ideals in my head(uselessly) that is causing me to suffer.
This is why I joined this size acceptance community, to help evolve humanity to research far more important things.... that we are all brother and sisters under the very sun. I took it too seriously, I know, but, my instincts tell me to defend my fat body, at ALL costs. I am meant to be fat, my body feels pure, healthy, and good, despite my depression problems as well as fatigue which comes from the depression. Anyway, that is a size acceptance thing that happened to me. It's sad how we live in such troubling times...
