This past weekend I heard something that made me feel better about a childhood situation.
When I was little (early 1960s, age 5 or so), I had a friend named "E". She was always fat, and my mother (a chronic dieter who was a severe fatphobe), when she'd pick me up after school, would always comment to me, "Ohhhh, poor E! She is ALREADY fat! She'll never get a husband!" I mean, WHY say shit like that to a kid about a friend of hers?
But my mother always 'felt sorry' for E...and commented on it frequently to me. She'd also comment on fat people she'd see when we walked down the street....it was always along the lines of, "Ohhh! LOOK at that! If I were THAT fat I'd never go outside!" That's what I had to hear growing up, and I was a skinny kid...in fact I doubt I could have ever told my mother that at school, *I* was being teased not for being fat but for being too skinny...and that teasing was from "normal sized" kids too!
Anyway, I got into a discussion with a guy at my synagogue and it so happened that he and E were childhood sweethearts from about age 11 on up. He even told me all the diamond rings he'd given her (wow, I never got that many from any guy!) He said they were always planning to get married, but then after she went off to school (college), she met another guy there and they married. E wound up dying of cervical cancer at age 39 a few years ago, and this synagogue friend of mine went to the funeral (I didn't because I didn't find out about her death until a few weeks later.)
But you know, it makes me feel good to know that E ALWAYS had a man in her life, and a GOOD one (actually, TWO!), despite my mother's "Ohh, she's ALREADY chubby, what a shame, she'll never get a man when she grows up!" and all that crap. Heck, she technically had a man in her life before I did! It makes me feel good to know that E was always happy in that regard, and never lacked for a decent man's attentions, despite my mother's attempt to make me see her fatness as such a dreadful thing. Not that a woman NEEDS a man to be happy, but this incident made me feel better after all these years. I wonder if it contributed to the fact that E always seemed happy and content, although I'm sure she got picked on for her size.
Anyway, thought I'd share that with you all.
When I was little (early 1960s, age 5 or so), I had a friend named "E". She was always fat, and my mother (a chronic dieter who was a severe fatphobe), when she'd pick me up after school, would always comment to me, "Ohhhh, poor E! She is ALREADY fat! She'll never get a husband!" I mean, WHY say shit like that to a kid about a friend of hers?
But my mother always 'felt sorry' for E...and commented on it frequently to me. She'd also comment on fat people she'd see when we walked down the street....it was always along the lines of, "Ohhh! LOOK at that! If I were THAT fat I'd never go outside!" That's what I had to hear growing up, and I was a skinny kid...in fact I doubt I could have ever told my mother that at school, *I* was being teased not for being fat but for being too skinny...and that teasing was from "normal sized" kids too!
Anyway, I got into a discussion with a guy at my synagogue and it so happened that he and E were childhood sweethearts from about age 11 on up. He even told me all the diamond rings he'd given her (wow, I never got that many from any guy!) He said they were always planning to get married, but then after she went off to school (college), she met another guy there and they married. E wound up dying of cervical cancer at age 39 a few years ago, and this synagogue friend of mine went to the funeral (I didn't because I didn't find out about her death until a few weeks later.)
But you know, it makes me feel good to know that E ALWAYS had a man in her life, and a GOOD one (actually, TWO!), despite my mother's "Ohh, she's ALREADY chubby, what a shame, she'll never get a man when she grows up!" and all that crap. Heck, she technically had a man in her life before I did! It makes me feel good to know that E was always happy in that regard, and never lacked for a decent man's attentions, despite my mother's attempt to make me see her fatness as such a dreadful thing. Not that a woman NEEDS a man to be happy, but this incident made me feel better after all these years. I wonder if it contributed to the fact that E always seemed happy and content, although I'm sure she got picked on for her size.
Anyway, thought I'd share that with you all.
