DisenchantedDreamer
Member
Greetings everyone! I know I am a relative unknown on this site, but I have admired everyone's posts through the years and the advice given is always spot on. I am having a current issue that I need to get through and I felt that this is the perfect place to receive some assistance.
My girlfriend has decided to diet. Yes, I know this seems like a small matter, but to me it has been disconcerting. She was spooked at a recent Dr. appointment, which brought this on. I saw it coming from a mile away, due to the fact that she hadn't been to the doctor in several years. No, I am not looking for ways to change her mind or to secretly keep her as big as she is. I just want to go through some of the reasons why I am so disturbed.
My first reason is the habit of eating out/eating big for the past 11 years. This, to me, is the biggest reason that I am having difficulty. This habit has been big for both of us, as neither of us like to eat without the other around. Yes, it's an odd habit, but something we've grown accustomed to. I feel horribly awkward about it at this point, because the diet just started and I really don't know where it's going to go. I feel like I can't eat around her, due to the fact that I'm not dieting and there's an embarrassment factor about eating in front of someone that's not going to eat.
I can't pretend that I won't be upset about the weight loss. When you are used to something, especially for a number of years, it is something you grow fond of. I know it's a shallow reason, but it's one that I can't deny. I am not saying that I want to leave her or anything like that, but for many reasons, my preferences are things that I cannot escape.
In some ways, I feel deviant that I enjoy her body the way that I do. I know that this site and others like it have made me feel great and normal through the years, but considering the current circumstances, I feel like I'm wrong to enjoy weight/fat/overeating. Life is always in a state of constant change, but this is one that I haven't had to deal with. I suppose that it is inevitable that size changes as well, due to circumstances and life's ups and downs. I should not have become attached to size and looks as well as her personality, because it is unrealistic that she would never change. In general, I feel so naughty to enjoy a preference that is considered unhealthy.
Weight loss is something that is very difficult to talk about. I avoid it like the plague during discussions with co-workers, friends, etc. She and I discussed marriage recently and she actually stated that she is hesitant, because she's unsure I can handle these changes. In some ways, I think she has developed similar feelings about eating habits, sexual interests, and other ways that these preferences has permeated our lives. That was a real eye opener for me. I don't think I would end a relationship due to these factors, but it is something that is incredibly uncomfortable for me.
Thank you for listening and any feedback would be greatly appreciated!
My girlfriend has decided to diet. Yes, I know this seems like a small matter, but to me it has been disconcerting. She was spooked at a recent Dr. appointment, which brought this on. I saw it coming from a mile away, due to the fact that she hadn't been to the doctor in several years. No, I am not looking for ways to change her mind or to secretly keep her as big as she is. I just want to go through some of the reasons why I am so disturbed.
My first reason is the habit of eating out/eating big for the past 11 years. This, to me, is the biggest reason that I am having difficulty. This habit has been big for both of us, as neither of us like to eat without the other around. Yes, it's an odd habit, but something we've grown accustomed to. I feel horribly awkward about it at this point, because the diet just started and I really don't know where it's going to go. I feel like I can't eat around her, due to the fact that I'm not dieting and there's an embarrassment factor about eating in front of someone that's not going to eat.
I can't pretend that I won't be upset about the weight loss. When you are used to something, especially for a number of years, it is something you grow fond of. I know it's a shallow reason, but it's one that I can't deny. I am not saying that I want to leave her or anything like that, but for many reasons, my preferences are things that I cannot escape.
In some ways, I feel deviant that I enjoy her body the way that I do. I know that this site and others like it have made me feel great and normal through the years, but considering the current circumstances, I feel like I'm wrong to enjoy weight/fat/overeating. Life is always in a state of constant change, but this is one that I haven't had to deal with. I suppose that it is inevitable that size changes as well, due to circumstances and life's ups and downs. I should not have become attached to size and looks as well as her personality, because it is unrealistic that she would never change. In general, I feel so naughty to enjoy a preference that is considered unhealthy.
Weight loss is something that is very difficult to talk about. I avoid it like the plague during discussions with co-workers, friends, etc. She and I discussed marriage recently and she actually stated that she is hesitant, because she's unsure I can handle these changes. In some ways, I think she has developed similar feelings about eating habits, sexual interests, and other ways that these preferences has permeated our lives. That was a real eye opener for me. I don't think I would end a relationship due to these factors, but it is something that is incredibly uncomfortable for me.
Thank you for listening and any feedback would be greatly appreciated!
