superodalisque
Well-Known Member
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------This marvelous quote from a post that Stan made on Ripley's thread called "How do you feel about your preference?" inspired a question:
Quote:
Originally Posted by fa_man_stan
I think the root of my not feeling “normality” is going from a world of not feeling understood, constantly having to explain and justify my preference, sometimes having my preference belittled, often times by those I was attracted to, and eventually coming to Dimensions where I do find others like me and acceptance, but still somehow having the feeling of being on the outside looking in. I’m not single and looking, I’m not particularly into looking at the pay sites, or reading the stories. There are a good amount male FAs here, I do have the sense of them being here and I also interact with them, but Dimensions seems more like a candy store with all of us male FAs looking in through the window but not necessarily being what Dimensions is about, not part of the inner workings anyway. It’s about the BBWs (and SSBBWs), weight gain fiction, eroticism, stories, general fat acceptance discussion, pay sites. The male FAs are intertwined bits and pieces of things here and there, scattered all over the place. Dimensions seems to be made for us male FAs, not necessarily made of us male FAs. I can completely understand how the females might feel that Dimensions is not “made for them”, I’ve heard that said more than a few times, perhaps this is a part of that. Maybe I’m just totally misunderstanding the focus of Dimensions? But often, the male FAs seem to drift away after a while (the older married ones in particular), the female population is fairly stable… True, some females have also gone and new ones have joined, but there are many more females than males. The females seem to have more of a bond here. There just doesn’t seem to be a cohesive group of males over the long run, little to no male bonding. The male FAs seem to be a group that Dimensions doesn’t particularly trust to behave, we seem to need to be kept in check.
I would like to add that when I say “Dimensions” I don’t necessarily mean the “powers that be”… I mean just the whole social dynamic of how Dims all has come together over the years and how it functions.
Maybe I’m being oversensitive about this and seeing things from my own little distorted perspective. Maybe I have unrealistic expectations…
Attempting to get back on topic…
Regardless, I think fat women are wonderful and I still fully support fat acceptance, but the whole thing just makes me feel worn out sometimes. That’s the best I can explain my feelings.
I didn't mean to hijack your thread Ripley... you know me, I just go on a rant and run with it.
end quote"
it made me think of something i had been wondering for a while now. i'd love to have FAs in particular respond with how they feel, but of course everyone is welcomed. sometimes i think that the way that dimensions orients itself toward FAs is as though they are animals. i don't think you guys are animals--well maybe some are
. excuse me if anyone resents this characterization of how dims is working. i couldn't think of a better way to put it. i needed to say something strong and definite so people would get what i was saying even if it is overkill. i just think there is a lot of cheerleading for the animalistic side of an FA, as there is for all men. and before you say the rest of the world is like that, i want to say that i think dims should be better than the rest of the world . maybe its true that like the rest of the world we think the money and influence etc...is--between a man's legs. am i being too blunt--i hope so.
i have a lot of friends who date fat girls soley but they would never call themselves an FA. they are totally afraid of the definition as they see it. do you think BBWs have come up with the definition of an FA? or is that definition something that FAs are totally responsible for? i mean for me everything i've come across in the 4 yrs i've known what an FA is you'd think it was just a fetish or a perversion. you'd have the idea that feelings have no place in the definition of an FA. affection, love, respect and loyalty don't seen to accompany the preference where i've seen it. thank goodness i know some real FAs who counter that. sometimes i wonder if there aren't a significant number of bbws who might look at FAs that way so that FAs can be made into a sexual pitstop those on their way to WLS anyway. do they treat FAs as though they are abnormal people they can just use because they don't feel attractive? is that why bbws often belittle the preference? or maybe there are FAs who like the narrow definition because it gives them a license to use and hurt. am i totally off base? is the definition of an FA all about sex anyway just out of practicality when talking about a sexual preference?
what do you think dimensions would look like if it was made of/for FA's? would it be the same or would it be more sexuality oriented? should some of the sexual pandering be reduced? do you think it damages things? does it warp what the community should be about? do you want more? and if you want more, what is the more that you want?
Quote:
Originally Posted by fa_man_stan
I think the root of my not feeling “normality” is going from a world of not feeling understood, constantly having to explain and justify my preference, sometimes having my preference belittled, often times by those I was attracted to, and eventually coming to Dimensions where I do find others like me and acceptance, but still somehow having the feeling of being on the outside looking in. I’m not single and looking, I’m not particularly into looking at the pay sites, or reading the stories. There are a good amount male FAs here, I do have the sense of them being here and I also interact with them, but Dimensions seems more like a candy store with all of us male FAs looking in through the window but not necessarily being what Dimensions is about, not part of the inner workings anyway. It’s about the BBWs (and SSBBWs), weight gain fiction, eroticism, stories, general fat acceptance discussion, pay sites. The male FAs are intertwined bits and pieces of things here and there, scattered all over the place. Dimensions seems to be made for us male FAs, not necessarily made of us male FAs. I can completely understand how the females might feel that Dimensions is not “made for them”, I’ve heard that said more than a few times, perhaps this is a part of that. Maybe I’m just totally misunderstanding the focus of Dimensions? But often, the male FAs seem to drift away after a while (the older married ones in particular), the female population is fairly stable… True, some females have also gone and new ones have joined, but there are many more females than males. The females seem to have more of a bond here. There just doesn’t seem to be a cohesive group of males over the long run, little to no male bonding. The male FAs seem to be a group that Dimensions doesn’t particularly trust to behave, we seem to need to be kept in check.
I would like to add that when I say “Dimensions” I don’t necessarily mean the “powers that be”… I mean just the whole social dynamic of how Dims all has come together over the years and how it functions.
Maybe I’m being oversensitive about this and seeing things from my own little distorted perspective. Maybe I have unrealistic expectations…
Attempting to get back on topic…
Regardless, I think fat women are wonderful and I still fully support fat acceptance, but the whole thing just makes me feel worn out sometimes. That’s the best I can explain my feelings.
I didn't mean to hijack your thread Ripley... you know me, I just go on a rant and run with it.
end quote"
it made me think of something i had been wondering for a while now. i'd love to have FAs in particular respond with how they feel, but of course everyone is welcomed. sometimes i think that the way that dimensions orients itself toward FAs is as though they are animals. i don't think you guys are animals--well maybe some are
. excuse me if anyone resents this characterization of how dims is working. i couldn't think of a better way to put it. i needed to say something strong and definite so people would get what i was saying even if it is overkill. i just think there is a lot of cheerleading for the animalistic side of an FA, as there is for all men. and before you say the rest of the world is like that, i want to say that i think dims should be better than the rest of the world . maybe its true that like the rest of the world we think the money and influence etc...is--between a man's legs. am i being too blunt--i hope so. i have a lot of friends who date fat girls soley but they would never call themselves an FA. they are totally afraid of the definition as they see it. do you think BBWs have come up with the definition of an FA? or is that definition something that FAs are totally responsible for? i mean for me everything i've come across in the 4 yrs i've known what an FA is you'd think it was just a fetish or a perversion. you'd have the idea that feelings have no place in the definition of an FA. affection, love, respect and loyalty don't seen to accompany the preference where i've seen it. thank goodness i know some real FAs who counter that. sometimes i wonder if there aren't a significant number of bbws who might look at FAs that way so that FAs can be made into a sexual pitstop those on their way to WLS anyway. do they treat FAs as though they are abnormal people they can just use because they don't feel attractive? is that why bbws often belittle the preference? or maybe there are FAs who like the narrow definition because it gives them a license to use and hurt. am i totally off base? is the definition of an FA all about sex anyway just out of practicality when talking about a sexual preference?
what do you think dimensions would look like if it was made of/for FA's? would it be the same or would it be more sexuality oriented? should some of the sexual pandering be reduced? do you think it damages things? does it warp what the community should be about? do you want more? and if you want more, what is the more that you want?
