This is a serious question.
Is it possible that some BHM's have just been messed up for life? I've found too many self help books for women that focus on the woman's role in the relationship and pretty much say "If a man likes you he will behave a certain way."
I had met a wonderful BHM. His last relationship had been 5 years of shacking up with a woman he didn't love. He said he didn't propose because he "didn't even like her that much" and didn't break up with her b/c "he didn't want to admit defeat." Prior to that he'd dated a woman who was with another man the whole time. She got engaged to the other man and according to this wonderful BHM, stalked him to the point he had to change his phone number.
He and I had known each other for around a month and a half. Everything was wonderful. It was long distance but he visited me and we emailed and talked every day. We laughed constantly. We talked in a roundabout way if we were looking for something permanent which we both were. He wanted me to come visit him and sent me a non-refundable plane ticket. He called and asked me to send him a shopping list b/c I'm a vegetarian and he wanted to know what food I liked. He asked me how I liked a bed set up, what kind of sheets I liked, and told his mom about me. He'd planned part of our weekend, telling me we were doing ____ the night I got there and going out with his best friend the next night and after that we'd just play it by ear.
Then out of nowhere, he just ends it. Tells me "we have nothing in common" and since it "isn't going to go where he wants it to" [meaning he wanted to talk about us living together] he's ending it completely. He starts crying and said he was falling for me but couldn't handle getting hurt again. I told him I couldn't make any guarentees, and after less than six months certainly couldn't say I wanted to marry him, but was definitely falling for him and thought we had something wonderful.
I couldnt' think of any red flags. He'd sent me a non refundable plane ticket. We'd talked about a future together. He'd bought vegetarian food for me. Each time we'd talk or email he'd tell me how he was fixing the house up so it would look nice for when I visited him. Then while crying he tells me it's over. I tried to talk with him but he said he didn't want to talk to me b/c it would be too hard. I tried emailing him but he would never even answer me.
I went back over the whole thing, and all I could come up with was, why would he stay with a woman he didn't love for five years and toss me out like trash while CRYING and saying how much he liked me and had wanted to be with me. All I could think of was, maybe it's not me, it was him. Maybe some men simply don't want healthy normal enriching relationships.
Is it possible that some BHM's have just been messed up for life? I've found too many self help books for women that focus on the woman's role in the relationship and pretty much say "If a man likes you he will behave a certain way."
I had met a wonderful BHM. His last relationship had been 5 years of shacking up with a woman he didn't love. He said he didn't propose because he "didn't even like her that much" and didn't break up with her b/c "he didn't want to admit defeat." Prior to that he'd dated a woman who was with another man the whole time. She got engaged to the other man and according to this wonderful BHM, stalked him to the point he had to change his phone number.
He and I had known each other for around a month and a half. Everything was wonderful. It was long distance but he visited me and we emailed and talked every day. We laughed constantly. We talked in a roundabout way if we were looking for something permanent which we both were. He wanted me to come visit him and sent me a non-refundable plane ticket. He called and asked me to send him a shopping list b/c I'm a vegetarian and he wanted to know what food I liked. He asked me how I liked a bed set up, what kind of sheets I liked, and told his mom about me. He'd planned part of our weekend, telling me we were doing ____ the night I got there and going out with his best friend the next night and after that we'd just play it by ear.
Then out of nowhere, he just ends it. Tells me "we have nothing in common" and since it "isn't going to go where he wants it to" [meaning he wanted to talk about us living together] he's ending it completely. He starts crying and said he was falling for me but couldn't handle getting hurt again. I told him I couldn't make any guarentees, and after less than six months certainly couldn't say I wanted to marry him, but was definitely falling for him and thought we had something wonderful.
I couldnt' think of any red flags. He'd sent me a non refundable plane ticket. We'd talked about a future together. He'd bought vegetarian food for me. Each time we'd talk or email he'd tell me how he was fixing the house up so it would look nice for when I visited him. Then while crying he tells me it's over. I tried to talk with him but he said he didn't want to talk to me b/c it would be too hard. I tried emailing him but he would never even answer me.
I went back over the whole thing, and all I could come up with was, why would he stay with a woman he didn't love for five years and toss me out like trash while CRYING and saying how much he liked me and had wanted to be with me. All I could think of was, maybe it's not me, it was him. Maybe some men simply don't want healthy normal enriching relationships.
