As some of you know, my current partner is asexual (gender-neutral too but identifies as male for the convenience). I consider myself open-minded and aware of most sexualities, but I cannot help but find the absence of sexuality rather disconcerting.
He also identifies as heterosexual. He enjoys typically feminine traits and finds the female body aesthetically appealing but it doesn't turn him on. Nothing does. This is something I struggle to grasp because I have always assumed that asexuality is an absence of sexual orientation as well as desire.
He has no sex drive whatsoever and does not even like the idea of masturbation. He says he has never felt the urge to do it at all, even when he just hit puberty. It could well be a lack of testosterone since he has minimal body hair, an androgynous look and voice but I am not quite sure. He does not agree with what he perceives to be the current world view of sexuality; he thinks it is empty, pointless and unneccessarily restrictive so he shuts it all out. Porn, erotica and the like elicits nothing but mild amusement and disgust. He is, however, somewhat more receptive to the idea of lovemaking in the context of a long-term romantic relationship but this is not something he actively pursues. In fact, he expresses a complete disregard for his own physical pleasure but would do it to please a partner and that he derives some sort of fulfilment from that.
He is pretty apathetic about his sexuality and doesn't get why I am so intrigued by it. It doesn't actually affect us but I guess I am just curious about alternative sexualities in general. I feel guilty about probing him too much though because I don't particularly enjoy others questioning my sexuality. I don't think I will ever understand it completely, but I am beginning to see it as a stable, legitimate orientation.
What does asexuality mean to you? Do any of you (1% of the population, apparently) actually identify as asexual? How does it affect your relationships?
He also identifies as heterosexual. He enjoys typically feminine traits and finds the female body aesthetically appealing but it doesn't turn him on. Nothing does. This is something I struggle to grasp because I have always assumed that asexuality is an absence of sexual orientation as well as desire.
He has no sex drive whatsoever and does not even like the idea of masturbation. He says he has never felt the urge to do it at all, even when he just hit puberty. It could well be a lack of testosterone since he has minimal body hair, an androgynous look and voice but I am not quite sure. He does not agree with what he perceives to be the current world view of sexuality; he thinks it is empty, pointless and unneccessarily restrictive so he shuts it all out. Porn, erotica and the like elicits nothing but mild amusement and disgust. He is, however, somewhat more receptive to the idea of lovemaking in the context of a long-term romantic relationship but this is not something he actively pursues. In fact, he expresses a complete disregard for his own physical pleasure but would do it to please a partner and that he derives some sort of fulfilment from that.
He is pretty apathetic about his sexuality and doesn't get why I am so intrigued by it. It doesn't actually affect us but I guess I am just curious about alternative sexualities in general. I feel guilty about probing him too much though because I don't particularly enjoy others questioning my sexuality. I don't think I will ever understand it completely, but I am beginning to see it as a stable, legitimate orientation.
What does asexuality mean to you? Do any of you (1% of the population, apparently) actually identify as asexual? How does it affect your relationships?
