A young closet fa, i should say. I just don't know what to do. I really care for him and I feel a connection with him by he has this shame about his attraction to fat women. He lies about it and hides it. He was into another fat girl before I came along. and now he's very obviously into me except when it gets to real and he backs off. He's broken my heart already and I'm so stupid I go back for more. The thing is this has never happened before. That I want someone who wants me too. There is an energy A tangible energy and I need it like a drug. He's 21 I'm 30. I'm a virgin he doesn't know that, nor will he ever, but I suspect he is too. So i hinted that no one needs to know and it will be fun. he seemed interested just the look on his face. hes being coy he wants me to just say it, that i want to have sex with him. But how can I do this to myself. I don't know what I'm doing and I can guess that this will end badly but maybe it's worth it. Just to experience life to live and have fun and have sex. I just want to have sex with a man that wants me and I'm losing my mind. I just can't talk about this with anyone in my life because my family will judge me and my friends are his friends. And when people tease him about us flirting he gets so quiet and angry and says nothing because he doesn't want to deny it he knows that will Hurt me but he also is overly concerned with what others think of him. I know he must feel stuck and confused. And here I go making excuses to make it easier for me to do this. And then what if I do come out and say it " lets have sex" what if I'm all wrong and he runs screaming into the night. could I be so wrong? Maybe I only see what I want to. I could go on forever just help please.
Has anyone else been the secret girlfriend or know anything about what I'm going through?
Has anyone else been the secret girlfriend or know anything about what I'm going through?
