Every so often I revisit the question of whether I have a preference to date an FA, a non-FA (who still found me attractive), a bi-sizual, or whether I have no preference. There's a thread in the BBW forum now that's about that. Also lately I've heard some stories where fat women went out with non-FAs who ended up nixing the relationship over the woman's fatness, as soon as physical intimacy started happening.
This kind of thing horrifies me. And I think it comes down to reasons for rejection, and which ones seem to cut deeper.
For example, if a guy doesn't want to date me because he doesn't like my personality, or my sense of humor, or something like that - it may sting a little, but it doesn't really cut too deep. Or if he doesn't like the dominant role faith and church play in my life, well, fine. But if a guy doesn't want to date me because he thinks I'm too fat - for some reason that cuts deeper. I think part of it may be because I have more confidence in things like my personality, empathy, humor, etc., but the body thing (as far as I've come with it) is still not really what I consider to be a "selling point." (I just horrified myself by using marketing language to talk about interpersonal relationships...but I digress.)
So I think sometimes, because of this fear of body-specific rejection, I may be more open to dating an FA who I might not have as much in common with than a guy who I may have a lot in common with - but who doesn't seem to go for fat girls. And, I guess I'm not sure this is a good thing...since it comes out of fear, in part, and I don't like fear to be something that motivates my actions. But I also want to be realistic.
I'm just wondering - do others of you feel like body-specific rejection cuts deeper? or is it another kind that cuts deeper? Why do you think that is? And, do you (or did you, if you're married, etc.) run your dating life, in part, based on trying to avoid that type of rejection?
Hope this made sense.
This kind of thing horrifies me. And I think it comes down to reasons for rejection, and which ones seem to cut deeper.
For example, if a guy doesn't want to date me because he doesn't like my personality, or my sense of humor, or something like that - it may sting a little, but it doesn't really cut too deep. Or if he doesn't like the dominant role faith and church play in my life, well, fine. But if a guy doesn't want to date me because he thinks I'm too fat - for some reason that cuts deeper. I think part of it may be because I have more confidence in things like my personality, empathy, humor, etc., but the body thing (as far as I've come with it) is still not really what I consider to be a "selling point." (I just horrified myself by using marketing language to talk about interpersonal relationships...but I digress.)
So I think sometimes, because of this fear of body-specific rejection, I may be more open to dating an FA who I might not have as much in common with than a guy who I may have a lot in common with - but who doesn't seem to go for fat girls. And, I guess I'm not sure this is a good thing...since it comes out of fear, in part, and I don't like fear to be something that motivates my actions. But I also want to be realistic.
I'm just wondering - do others of you feel like body-specific rejection cuts deeper? or is it another kind that cuts deeper? Why do you think that is? And, do you (or did you, if you're married, etc.) run your dating life, in part, based on trying to avoid that type of rejection?
Hope this made sense.
