Lardibutts
Aged Member
Cakes and a Sugar Plum
One of my favourite Dimensions stories is Cakes and Innocence.
I could hardly believe that in real life I’d happened upon a lovely earnest young woman at the mercy of her aunt’s irresistible life-changing cakes - not down in Cornwall but in a beautiful Suffolk tea garden.
Impeccably turned out in a spectacular flame-red tight dress “my” Sugar Plum was on duty standing behind a central reception desk and till at the tea room and garden.
For our foursome (I was driving my old dad out for the day along with his pair of old biddie girlfriends all in their 80s) the garden seemed a really promising find, newly created using mature pleached trees – green walls in the sky – in the re-worked backyards of an old country town. It was just inland from Southwold and a very prosperous strip of Suffolk coast popular with the well to do week-end country cottage set escaping out of London.
The dusty sunbeams of a late summer afternoon splashed across Sugar Plum and the various cakes loaded into the sparkling glass cases around her.
I judged her to be in her early twenties, lovely looking with raven black hair, a flawless pale skin and beautifully made-up big dark eyes.
I enquired were seats available in the garden and she said
“Yes of course. Please do go and find a table. Someone will come and take your order.”
Then she added, smiling sweetly:
“Though why don't I talk you through our lovely cakes first?”
“That would be sensible” I replied and dispatched my relatives to claim a table..
She began with a mighty Victoria sandwich with a seriously thick clotted cream filling and fresh raspberries.
As she leant over down towards it, my eyes swung away off piste into a delicious cleavage emphasised by the square low bodice cut of her red dress. I saw how a sensual slim gold chain was snaking between the softly rippling tops of plump white breasts.
Then…FLASH - BANG!
Had my peripheral vision caught something even more startling? The merest flash of Big and RED?
Between the continual coming and going of plump older ladies pushing past to get to the till, I fancied I’d spotted low down at desk level the re-appearance of the tight flame-reddress shockingly far behind where, above counter level, it was politely showcasing a pretty trim red torso!
Unbelievable!
So often this has proved to be an illusion [FONT="]–[/FONT] simply a jacket of the same material slung over a seat back perhaps, or a red file on the table behind being also caught fleetingly by the sun.
A second sighting confirmed things for real.
There it was [FONT="]–[/FONT] and it was all Sugar Plum! She owned an extraordinarily fat ballooning backside barely contained by the tight red dress. As my exquisite goddess turned around to share her enjoyment of a lemon cream sponge, I witnessed the joyful wobbling of a simply enormous bottom and saddle bag hips bulging joyfully out every which way behind.
I'd clean forgotten the cakes. Now I had eyes only for this Super Pear.
I tried to scope Sugar Plum’s lower figure and was rewarded with a side view of an excitingly extravagant S shape. And the little red dress finished high and tight around her creamy thighs, more or less where the under curve of that improbably fat bottom mashed into the back of a thunder thigh.
Just tucked below the desk, adjacent to Sugar Plum’s excessively protuberant red tummy bulge, was a plate with crumbs and the remains of a pile of profiteroles plus a pastry fork
Sugar Plum had caught me checking out all the incriminating details.
I put my index finger to the corner of my mouth. Following my gesture, an elegantly manicured finger tip collected a smidgen of cream from the corner of her [FONT="]“[/FONT]puck[FONT="]’[/FONT]s bow[FONT="]”[/FONT] of red lipstick. After the shortest of inspections she sucked it delicately away.
Sugar Plum winked naughtily , remarking she could recommend the profiteroles.
[FONT="]“[/FONT]And that chocolate cake too?[FONT="]”[/FONT]
[FONT="]“[/FONT]Ah! [FONT="]…[/FONT].Yes why not[FONT="]”[/FONT]
[FONT="]“[/FONT]Oh Dear, I[FONT="]’[/FONT]m spoilt for choice[FONT="]”[/FONT] I said.
[FONT="]“[/FONT]We all are! Especially all of us actually working here.[FONT="]”[/FONT]
[FONT="]“[/FONT]My aunt likes us to cut into all her cakes at the beginning of the afternoon [FONT="]–[/FONT] so customers don[FONT="]’[/FONT]t feel like they ought not to start a new one[FONT="]”[/FONT]
[FONT="]“[/FONT]So[FONT="]…[/FONT] it[FONT="]’[/FONT]s really really difficult to stay slim[FONT="]…”[/FONT] her voice tailed off.
[FONT="]“[/FONT]But you look wonderful![FONT="]”[/FONT] I countered, [FONT="]“[/FONT]and you are so welcoming.[FONT="]”[/FONT]
[FONT="]“[/FONT]Yes but you[FONT="]’[/FONT]ve noticed what goes on down behind the counter[FONT="]”[/FONT] she put her hands down on the extremities of her hips.
[FONT="]“[/FONT]And, like, I[FONT="]’[/FONT]ve only been here since I finished uni last year. My aunt offered me it [FONT="]…[/FONT] until I find a proper job. You can probably tell how it[FONT="]’[/FONT]s the same with all aunty Pru[FONT="]’[/FONT]s waitresses.[FONT="]”[/FONT]
[FONT="]“[/FONT]I shall make a point of mentioning you in Trip Advisor[FONT="]”[/FONT] I said.
[FONT="]“[/FONT]That[FONT="]’[/FONT]s sweet of you[FONT="]”[/FONT] she smiled.
But then she added [FONT="]“[/FONT]Actually a lot of people mentioned me already [FONT="]–[/FONT] one man even said I[FONT="]’[/FONT]m a [FONT="]‘[/FONT]natural[FONT="]’[/FONT] at promoting our tea room[FONT="]’[/FONT]s specialities.[FONT="]”[/FONT]
He[FONT="]’[/FONT]s damn right, she is. I thought to myself.
[FONT="]“[/FONT]Well I[FONT="]’[/FONT]d better get back to my party to tell them what is on offer[FONT="]”[/FONT] I said
[FONT="]“[/FONT]You[FONT="]’[/FONT]re welcome[FONT="]”[/FONT] she replied.
I saw her turn back to the cakes[FONT="]…[/FONT]. it seemed like a slice of coffee walnut might be about to follow the profiteroles.
When we left, the garden had emptied, I saw my Sugar Plum had left.
Walking back to the car park I caught sight of her waddle up to and struggle to pack herself in behind the driving wheel of a VW Caddy van.
It had a floral lemon yellow and mauve vinyl pattern applied over the basic white van paint announcing Pleached Tree Garden, Cream Teas, Home made Cakes and Pastries; Orders Taken; Events Catered for. Prudence Blouson prop.
I took note of [email protected]
to be continued
One of my favourite Dimensions stories is Cakes and Innocence.
I could hardly believe that in real life I’d happened upon a lovely earnest young woman at the mercy of her aunt’s irresistible life-changing cakes - not down in Cornwall but in a beautiful Suffolk tea garden.
Impeccably turned out in a spectacular flame-red tight dress “my” Sugar Plum was on duty standing behind a central reception desk and till at the tea room and garden.
For our foursome (I was driving my old dad out for the day along with his pair of old biddie girlfriends all in their 80s) the garden seemed a really promising find, newly created using mature pleached trees – green walls in the sky – in the re-worked backyards of an old country town. It was just inland from Southwold and a very prosperous strip of Suffolk coast popular with the well to do week-end country cottage set escaping out of London.
The dusty sunbeams of a late summer afternoon splashed across Sugar Plum and the various cakes loaded into the sparkling glass cases around her.
I judged her to be in her early twenties, lovely looking with raven black hair, a flawless pale skin and beautifully made-up big dark eyes.
I enquired were seats available in the garden and she said
“Yes of course. Please do go and find a table. Someone will come and take your order.”
Then she added, smiling sweetly:
“Though why don't I talk you through our lovely cakes first?”
“That would be sensible” I replied and dispatched my relatives to claim a table..
She began with a mighty Victoria sandwich with a seriously thick clotted cream filling and fresh raspberries.
As she leant over down towards it, my eyes swung away off piste into a delicious cleavage emphasised by the square low bodice cut of her red dress. I saw how a sensual slim gold chain was snaking between the softly rippling tops of plump white breasts.
Then…FLASH - BANG!
Had my peripheral vision caught something even more startling? The merest flash of Big and RED?
Between the continual coming and going of plump older ladies pushing past to get to the till, I fancied I’d spotted low down at desk level the re-appearance of the tight flame-reddress shockingly far behind where, above counter level, it was politely showcasing a pretty trim red torso!
Unbelievable!
So often this has proved to be an illusion [FONT="]–[/FONT] simply a jacket of the same material slung over a seat back perhaps, or a red file on the table behind being also caught fleetingly by the sun.
A second sighting confirmed things for real.
There it was [FONT="]–[/FONT] and it was all Sugar Plum! She owned an extraordinarily fat ballooning backside barely contained by the tight red dress. As my exquisite goddess turned around to share her enjoyment of a lemon cream sponge, I witnessed the joyful wobbling of a simply enormous bottom and saddle bag hips bulging joyfully out every which way behind.
I'd clean forgotten the cakes. Now I had eyes only for this Super Pear.
I tried to scope Sugar Plum’s lower figure and was rewarded with a side view of an excitingly extravagant S shape. And the little red dress finished high and tight around her creamy thighs, more or less where the under curve of that improbably fat bottom mashed into the back of a thunder thigh.
Just tucked below the desk, adjacent to Sugar Plum’s excessively protuberant red tummy bulge, was a plate with crumbs and the remains of a pile of profiteroles plus a pastry fork
Sugar Plum had caught me checking out all the incriminating details.
I put my index finger to the corner of my mouth. Following my gesture, an elegantly manicured finger tip collected a smidgen of cream from the corner of her [FONT="]“[/FONT]puck[FONT="]’[/FONT]s bow[FONT="]”[/FONT] of red lipstick. After the shortest of inspections she sucked it delicately away.
Sugar Plum winked naughtily , remarking she could recommend the profiteroles.
[FONT="]“[/FONT]And that chocolate cake too?[FONT="]”[/FONT]
[FONT="]“[/FONT]Ah! [FONT="]…[/FONT].Yes why not[FONT="]”[/FONT]
[FONT="]“[/FONT]Oh Dear, I[FONT="]’[/FONT]m spoilt for choice[FONT="]”[/FONT] I said.
[FONT="]“[/FONT]We all are! Especially all of us actually working here.[FONT="]”[/FONT]
[FONT="]“[/FONT]My aunt likes us to cut into all her cakes at the beginning of the afternoon [FONT="]–[/FONT] so customers don[FONT="]’[/FONT]t feel like they ought not to start a new one[FONT="]”[/FONT]
[FONT="]“[/FONT]So[FONT="]…[/FONT] it[FONT="]’[/FONT]s really really difficult to stay slim[FONT="]…”[/FONT] her voice tailed off.
[FONT="]“[/FONT]But you look wonderful![FONT="]”[/FONT] I countered, [FONT="]“[/FONT]and you are so welcoming.[FONT="]”[/FONT]
[FONT="]“[/FONT]Yes but you[FONT="]’[/FONT]ve noticed what goes on down behind the counter[FONT="]”[/FONT] she put her hands down on the extremities of her hips.
[FONT="]“[/FONT]And, like, I[FONT="]’[/FONT]ve only been here since I finished uni last year. My aunt offered me it [FONT="]…[/FONT] until I find a proper job. You can probably tell how it[FONT="]’[/FONT]s the same with all aunty Pru[FONT="]’[/FONT]s waitresses.[FONT="]”[/FONT]
[FONT="]“[/FONT]I shall make a point of mentioning you in Trip Advisor[FONT="]”[/FONT] I said.
[FONT="]“[/FONT]That[FONT="]’[/FONT]s sweet of you[FONT="]”[/FONT] she smiled.
But then she added [FONT="]“[/FONT]Actually a lot of people mentioned me already [FONT="]–[/FONT] one man even said I[FONT="]’[/FONT]m a [FONT="]‘[/FONT]natural[FONT="]’[/FONT] at promoting our tea room[FONT="]’[/FONT]s specialities.[FONT="]”[/FONT]
He[FONT="]’[/FONT]s damn right, she is. I thought to myself.
[FONT="]“[/FONT]Well I[FONT="]’[/FONT]d better get back to my party to tell them what is on offer[FONT="]”[/FONT] I said
[FONT="]“[/FONT]You[FONT="]’[/FONT]re welcome[FONT="]”[/FONT] she replied.
I saw her turn back to the cakes[FONT="]…[/FONT]. it seemed like a slice of coffee walnut might be about to follow the profiteroles.
When we left, the garden had emptied, I saw my Sugar Plum had left.
Walking back to the car park I caught sight of her waddle up to and struggle to pack herself in behind the driving wheel of a VW Caddy van.
It had a floral lemon yellow and mauve vinyl pattern applied over the basic white van paint announcing Pleached Tree Garden, Cream Teas, Home made Cakes and Pastries; Orders Taken; Events Catered for. Prudence Blouson prop.
I took note of [email protected]
to be continued
