Okay, with all the "Closet FA" and "When did you become an FA?" threads I see around here, I've started thinking. A lot of the fat women here say you can't hide being a BBW, so it's not fair. Even I've said this, actually. But, now that I think of it, you kind of can.
I feel like there are two major types of fat women. The first is women who are fat. Okay, that sounds redundant, but what I mean is women who are fat, and not okay with it-- women who eat lettuce on a light dressing-dipped fork and nothing else, women who hide themselves away on some emotional or physical level because they are fat. Maybe like they just accept the role society is handing them. Does this make sense? I'm having a horrible time putting what I mean into words. I guess you either know what I mean or you don't. Anyway...
The second type is the "BBW" type in mentality, I guess. These are the women who are okay with themselves, maybe proud or happy or what have you, and basically are just living life. You know, this makes sense in my head, but as it's coming out, I'm scared this won't make sense. Basically, someone who says, "I am who I am, I am okay with being fat and it's OKAY that I'm okay with being fat."
Now, this isn't to say that if you are fat and want to lose weight that you fall into the first category. I guess those are just kind of examples up there, not exactly what I mean.
ANYWAY.
My point is that there are times where I feel like I am a "closeted BBW." With my ex (a non-FA), I remember trying to ask him if I had changed his opinion on fat chicks. I remember trying to tell him that I felt okay with being fat, and that I actually preferred it to being thin. It was tremendously hard for me. I could never actually say it outright to him, and we were together for two years. I have always mostly felt okay with myself, but there was a big problem in letting others know-- like closeted FAs are scared of being judged for liking fat women, I was (and am, at times) scared of being judged for being okay with being fat. People react strangely to that, almost like you're breaking some law by not being on a constant diet if you're fat.
Yesterday, I went to a show put on by a student group at my uni, and there was one number about fast food. It was a semi-"romantic"-style song, but at the end, the man was saying, "oh, you've gotten so fat, you must lose weight." The girl was still singing about food. The audience was laughing quite hard-- it was supposed to be funny. It WAS amusing in some way, but the underlying tone made me think of this subject.
So, the point of this thread is for fat women to discuss the sort of BBW Closet thing. It's easy to be "open" about being (or enjoying being, or even becoming) a fat woman here at Dimensions, but how is it in the real world for you? Honestly, if weight ever truly came up on conversation with the people I know, it might be a stressful situation for me.
Personally, I'm somewhere between having "closeted" and "open" emotions.
I hope this is the correct place to post this, and I hope some other women respond or even know what I mean about this. If not, I'll feel silly.
I feel like there are two major types of fat women. The first is women who are fat. Okay, that sounds redundant, but what I mean is women who are fat, and not okay with it-- women who eat lettuce on a light dressing-dipped fork and nothing else, women who hide themselves away on some emotional or physical level because they are fat. Maybe like they just accept the role society is handing them. Does this make sense? I'm having a horrible time putting what I mean into words. I guess you either know what I mean or you don't. Anyway...
The second type is the "BBW" type in mentality, I guess. These are the women who are okay with themselves, maybe proud or happy or what have you, and basically are just living life. You know, this makes sense in my head, but as it's coming out, I'm scared this won't make sense. Basically, someone who says, "I am who I am, I am okay with being fat and it's OKAY that I'm okay with being fat."
Now, this isn't to say that if you are fat and want to lose weight that you fall into the first category. I guess those are just kind of examples up there, not exactly what I mean.
ANYWAY.
My point is that there are times where I feel like I am a "closeted BBW." With my ex (a non-FA), I remember trying to ask him if I had changed his opinion on fat chicks. I remember trying to tell him that I felt okay with being fat, and that I actually preferred it to being thin. It was tremendously hard for me. I could never actually say it outright to him, and we were together for two years. I have always mostly felt okay with myself, but there was a big problem in letting others know-- like closeted FAs are scared of being judged for liking fat women, I was (and am, at times) scared of being judged for being okay with being fat. People react strangely to that, almost like you're breaking some law by not being on a constant diet if you're fat.
Yesterday, I went to a show put on by a student group at my uni, and there was one number about fast food. It was a semi-"romantic"-style song, but at the end, the man was saying, "oh, you've gotten so fat, you must lose weight." The girl was still singing about food. The audience was laughing quite hard-- it was supposed to be funny. It WAS amusing in some way, but the underlying tone made me think of this subject.
So, the point of this thread is for fat women to discuss the sort of BBW Closet thing. It's easy to be "open" about being (or enjoying being, or even becoming) a fat woman here at Dimensions, but how is it in the real world for you? Honestly, if weight ever truly came up on conversation with the people I know, it might be a stressful situation for me.
Personally, I'm somewhere between having "closeted" and "open" emotions.
I hope this is the correct place to post this, and I hope some other women respond or even know what I mean about this. If not, I'll feel silly.
