Hello!
I have an issue that I'd like to hear your thoughts on. I think this post ended up sounding a bit funny
But anyways, I've been with this guy for a few years. When we met, he seemed very shy and mellow. I thought he was adorable :wubu:
But I eventually realized that he can be very cocky, which is a huge pet-peeve of mine. He can be a smartass and I swear it's like he's waiting for me to say something (usually something trivial) just to argue against it or bring up a reason why I could have done a better job. As I said, it's a HUGE pet-peeve for me so I tend to become irritated when it happens.
Examples
Me: Oh, I finally decided to buy my mom that outfit. I picked it up at Macy's today. She was very happy with it
Him: You shouldn't have bought it at Macy's. There are better deals on Overstock.
Me: Actually, no. I checked and it's not found online. But that wasn't the point.
Me: Listen to this song [link]. I used to love it when I was younger
Him: Don't go on YouTube for music. You can download that for free at MP3Place.
Me: Right. I'm not interested in downloading it, though. The point was to show it to you.
Me: You have to watch this. This comedian is so funny
Him: Not impressive. He's joking about other people.
Me: No shit. Don't all (or at least most) comedians do that?
Do I really need to deal with random curt, cocky comments? It really kills the romance for me
Me: Be right back, I'm feeding the dog my left-over lunch.
Him: No. Keep the chicken and feed it to him next week.
Me: That won't work. My dad's birthday is tomorrow. I need the space for his cake. Is there a reason you feel so strongly about this chicken? It's not like I asked what I should do with it. I just said "be right back!"
Do I really need to defend what I plant to do with my left-over lunch? LOL
Now if anyone is thinking that I'm just butt-hurt because he's smart, you're wrong. Sometimes his come-backs are plain impractical or he doesn't know what he's talking about...
Me: I've decided to continue my Social Work studies.
Him: No. You should study to be an Au-Pair .
Me: Um do you know what "au pair" means? It's basically a babysitter and there's nothing wrong with that line of work, I used to babysit, but it's not something you study for. What is the problem you see with Social Work? Is there any?
There is also the exasperated tone while watching me do things: "Don't put the trash under the sink" or "No, don't lock the door with the chain" (Hello? it's my apartment. Why are you telling me how to lock the door?!? LOL)
Now I am all for him speaking his mind but I'm starting to be bothered by his incessant challenges of everything I say. I don't think he's dumb, but I'm not either. If I do something, there's usually a darn good reason for it so I find it disrespectful for him to challenge my competence/judgment when he's not really invited to. When I want his guidance, I'll ask for it. He's not my dad, I'm actually a couple of years his senior LOL
By the way, I don't do the same thing to him. If he said "I decided to paint my car like a ladybug" I would say "ok, if you like ladybugs hun."
I'm not the type of person who gets competitive unless my buttons are being pushed. I really wanna stress that. I never bullied or even teased anyone. My motto is "live and let live" but ... I have been known as the person who hit a bully who wouldn't stop teasing me so I do have a short fuse for other people bothering me repeatedly, even if I never initiate an altercation. That's why I fear for this relationship :doh:
Thanks for reading and hopefully I'll get some advice. I wanna have a talk with him before our relationship suffers.
P.S: I am genderqueer so by no means do I blame his gender for this. He could well be a girl and do the same thing. I just want to know what people think should be done
I have an issue that I'd like to hear your thoughts on. I think this post ended up sounding a bit funny
But anyways, I've been with this guy for a few years. When we met, he seemed very shy and mellow. I thought he was adorable :wubu: But I eventually realized that he can be very cocky, which is a huge pet-peeve of mine. He can be a smartass and I swear it's like he's waiting for me to say something (usually something trivial) just to argue against it or bring up a reason why I could have done a better job. As I said, it's a HUGE pet-peeve for me so I tend to become irritated when it happens.
Examples
Me: Oh, I finally decided to buy my mom that outfit. I picked it up at Macy's today. She was very happy with it
Him: You shouldn't have bought it at Macy's. There are better deals on Overstock.
Me: Actually, no. I checked and it's not found online. But that wasn't the point.
Me: Listen to this song [link]. I used to love it when I was younger
Him: Don't go on YouTube for music. You can download that for free at MP3Place.
Me: Right. I'm not interested in downloading it, though. The point was to show it to you.
Me: You have to watch this. This comedian is so funny
Him: Not impressive. He's joking about other people.
Me: No shit. Don't all (or at least most) comedians do that?
Do I really need to deal with random curt, cocky comments? It really kills the romance for me
Me: Be right back, I'm feeding the dog my left-over lunch.
Him: No. Keep the chicken and feed it to him next week.
Me: That won't work. My dad's birthday is tomorrow. I need the space for his cake. Is there a reason you feel so strongly about this chicken? It's not like I asked what I should do with it. I just said "be right back!"
Do I really need to defend what I plant to do with my left-over lunch?
LOL Now if anyone is thinking that I'm just butt-hurt because he's smart, you're wrong. Sometimes his come-backs are plain impractical or he doesn't know what he's talking about...
Me: I've decided to continue my Social Work studies.
Him: No. You should study to be an Au-Pair .
Me: Um do you know what "au pair" means? It's basically a babysitter and there's nothing wrong with that line of work, I used to babysit, but it's not something you study for. What is the problem you see with Social Work? Is there any?
There is also the exasperated tone while watching me do things: "Don't put the trash under the sink" or "No, don't lock the door with the chain" (Hello? it's my apartment. Why are you telling me how to lock the door?!? LOL)
Now I am all for him speaking his mind but I'm starting to be bothered by his incessant challenges of everything I say. I don't think he's dumb, but I'm not either. If I do something, there's usually a darn good reason for it so I find it disrespectful for him to challenge my competence/judgment when he's not really invited to. When I want his guidance, I'll ask for it. He's not my dad, I'm actually a couple of years his senior LOL
By the way, I don't do the same thing to him. If he said "I decided to paint my car like a ladybug" I would say "ok, if you like ladybugs hun."
I'm not the type of person who gets competitive unless my buttons are being pushed. I really wanna stress that. I never bullied or even teased anyone. My motto is "live and let live" but ... I have been known as the person who hit a bully who wouldn't stop teasing me so I do have a short fuse for other people bothering me repeatedly, even if I never initiate an altercation. That's why I fear for this relationship :doh:
Thanks for reading and hopefully I'll get some advice. I wanna have a talk with him before our relationship suffers.
P.S: I am genderqueer so by no means do I blame his gender for this. He could well be a girl and do the same thing. I just want to know what people think should be done
