I've been meaning to write this for a while, but wanted to think about it a bit more clearly before i began. It's pretty much the transition of thought I have went through from having been involved in this community for a number of years now 
It's also a very personal experience that i really would like to just share with others i suppose. I feel like i should defend some feeders even though i know there are also feeders out there who DO perpetuate the negative stereotype..i guess i just want to reassure the ladies that not all feeders are scary and share my own story
Many years ago when i was introduced to this community and heard the term feeder, i have to admit that i was frightened by it. Eventually i started my website and became more comfortable with the term and individuals who were feeders, but it was still a scary thought. When someone said "feeder" i immediately thought "feeding to the point of immobility". I would think this feeder would never be satisfied with my size...he would always NEED me to be bigger and bigger until i was unable to move. Which, isn't any better than a non-fa trying to convince me to diet. Well worse actually....i mean, immobility is a frightening thing for most anyone.
As the years went by and i became more comfortable in my fat body the idea of gaining weight wasn't as scary. I came to terms with a lot of things in my life and realized that i may have been my own feeder for a long time. My virginity was taken by rape at age 15 and then i was raped again a year later. I think that in some way i became my own feeder out of protection. I think there was something inside me that blamed the way i looked for having been raped twice...even though i was still pretty hefty back then because my body is naturally fatter anyway. Subconsiously i think i believed that i would be less likely to be raped a third time if i were larger and "unattractive". That is what society teaches afterall..that fat is unattractive right? (Of course i later learned this was not true obviously hehe). My only reason for mentioning this is to help others. When i came to this realization i was surprised by it. I mentioned it to Bruce and he told me that he knew of others who also felt this way and it relieved my mind. So by mentioning this, i hope to relieve the mind of someone else who might read this... But anyway, i think this is where it all began....
I became involved in a long term relationship with a man who was not a feeder. Things were fine until i became ill and i lost about 30 pounds. he would say things like "you used to fill out those jeans a lot better"...or..."wow your belly used to be a lot bigger than this". Then eventually he asked me to gain the weight back. I was very offended as anyone would've been. Eventually after having been pressured, i agreed to *try* it...i said that if i didn't like it then i would stop. I should've just realized then that if 30 pounds made such a huge difference in our relationship then it wasn't the best relationship for us lol. But..i rationalized and such and agreed to just see what i thought of it. I gave it a shot..but did not like it. I felt pressured and objectified and all the horrible things i imagined that i would feel in that type of relationship. This was one of the many turning points that ended the relationship. So after this i was even more scared of a feeder/feedee relationship.
Years passed on and i still spoke to feeders with hesitation. Bruce and I had been friends since practically the beginning of my having been introduced to the community. Bruce has always been very open about being a feeder. Though, most often when we would talk, feederism wouldn't be a topic of discussion. We did discuss this though. I asked his views on feederism and explained my experiences with it. We discussed immobility and we both agreed that (in our view) this was something that would be best left to fantasy. I made sure to clarify..numerous times lol, that i was not a feedee. He would try to assure me that his take on feederism was not anything remotely like what i had previously experienced. I was still hesitant in my mind i must admit. Eventually we agreed to meet in person. We hit it off immediately.. which we both knew we would. Though i don't think either of us were prepared for the intensity that we both experienced. (I'll digress because that's a whole other story lol).
I'll try to share this experience without feeling like i'm pimping out our story lol... but my first experience with Bruce and feederism was quite magical and i was more than a little surprised by it...and maybe it was also magical because of the intense feelings we had already shared. I didn't feel objectified and pressured...in fact, it was the complete opposite. This was his way of worshipping and adoring me and i could feel the emotions coming from him. It was a beautiful intimate shared moment and one of the most beautiful moments i think i've ever experienced. The intense emotional exchange that we shared was something i had never felt before. It was just intimate in a way that i had never experienced.
I think my point is...yes, there are feeders out there who DO scare us, objectify us and all those horrible things that we fear upon hearing the word feeder...but there are also feeders out there who are not the boogey man. I now know that it's possible to have this type of relationship and it not be a one sided thing. I still claim that i am not a feedee...though i suppose it's debatable lol. I tell Bruce that i am HIS feedee lol, but i honestly don't believe i could do this with another man. I am very much in love with Bruce and feederism as a method of foreplay just adds a level of intimacy to things that takes it to another level for both of us.
I'm not trying to push feederism on anyone by any means. I would just like to suggest that feeders are not all the monsters we imagine them to be. If two people are open about their likes and dislikes and what they want from a relationship..and the relationship comes *before* feederism and then it is introduced into the relationship in a way that is agreeable for both parties.. then it can work. Actually, it can more than "work"...it can add a level of shared intimacy that very well may surprise you. Ok...i think that is all i really want to say lol. I'm sure Bruce will add more to this once he reads it
It's also a very personal experience that i really would like to just share with others i suppose. I feel like i should defend some feeders even though i know there are also feeders out there who DO perpetuate the negative stereotype..i guess i just want to reassure the ladies that not all feeders are scary and share my own story Many years ago when i was introduced to this community and heard the term feeder, i have to admit that i was frightened by it. Eventually i started my website and became more comfortable with the term and individuals who were feeders, but it was still a scary thought. When someone said "feeder" i immediately thought "feeding to the point of immobility". I would think this feeder would never be satisfied with my size...he would always NEED me to be bigger and bigger until i was unable to move. Which, isn't any better than a non-fa trying to convince me to diet. Well worse actually....i mean, immobility is a frightening thing for most anyone.
As the years went by and i became more comfortable in my fat body the idea of gaining weight wasn't as scary. I came to terms with a lot of things in my life and realized that i may have been my own feeder for a long time. My virginity was taken by rape at age 15 and then i was raped again a year later. I think that in some way i became my own feeder out of protection. I think there was something inside me that blamed the way i looked for having been raped twice...even though i was still pretty hefty back then because my body is naturally fatter anyway. Subconsiously i think i believed that i would be less likely to be raped a third time if i were larger and "unattractive". That is what society teaches afterall..that fat is unattractive right? (Of course i later learned this was not true obviously hehe). My only reason for mentioning this is to help others. When i came to this realization i was surprised by it. I mentioned it to Bruce and he told me that he knew of others who also felt this way and it relieved my mind. So by mentioning this, i hope to relieve the mind of someone else who might read this... But anyway, i think this is where it all began....
I became involved in a long term relationship with a man who was not a feeder. Things were fine until i became ill and i lost about 30 pounds. he would say things like "you used to fill out those jeans a lot better"...or..."wow your belly used to be a lot bigger than this". Then eventually he asked me to gain the weight back. I was very offended as anyone would've been. Eventually after having been pressured, i agreed to *try* it...i said that if i didn't like it then i would stop. I should've just realized then that if 30 pounds made such a huge difference in our relationship then it wasn't the best relationship for us lol. But..i rationalized and such and agreed to just see what i thought of it. I gave it a shot..but did not like it. I felt pressured and objectified and all the horrible things i imagined that i would feel in that type of relationship. This was one of the many turning points that ended the relationship. So after this i was even more scared of a feeder/feedee relationship.
Years passed on and i still spoke to feeders with hesitation. Bruce and I had been friends since practically the beginning of my having been introduced to the community. Bruce has always been very open about being a feeder. Though, most often when we would talk, feederism wouldn't be a topic of discussion. We did discuss this though. I asked his views on feederism and explained my experiences with it. We discussed immobility and we both agreed that (in our view) this was something that would be best left to fantasy. I made sure to clarify..numerous times lol, that i was not a feedee. He would try to assure me that his take on feederism was not anything remotely like what i had previously experienced. I was still hesitant in my mind i must admit. Eventually we agreed to meet in person. We hit it off immediately.. which we both knew we would. Though i don't think either of us were prepared for the intensity that we both experienced. (I'll digress because that's a whole other story lol).
I'll try to share this experience without feeling like i'm pimping out our story lol... but my first experience with Bruce and feederism was quite magical and i was more than a little surprised by it...and maybe it was also magical because of the intense feelings we had already shared. I didn't feel objectified and pressured...in fact, it was the complete opposite. This was his way of worshipping and adoring me and i could feel the emotions coming from him. It was a beautiful intimate shared moment and one of the most beautiful moments i think i've ever experienced. The intense emotional exchange that we shared was something i had never felt before. It was just intimate in a way that i had never experienced.
I think my point is...yes, there are feeders out there who DO scare us, objectify us and all those horrible things that we fear upon hearing the word feeder...but there are also feeders out there who are not the boogey man. I now know that it's possible to have this type of relationship and it not be a one sided thing. I still claim that i am not a feedee...though i suppose it's debatable lol. I tell Bruce that i am HIS feedee lol, but i honestly don't believe i could do this with another man. I am very much in love with Bruce and feederism as a method of foreplay just adds a level of intimacy to things that takes it to another level for both of us.
I'm not trying to push feederism on anyone by any means. I would just like to suggest that feeders are not all the monsters we imagine them to be. If two people are open about their likes and dislikes and what they want from a relationship..and the relationship comes *before* feederism and then it is introduced into the relationship in a way that is agreeable for both parties.. then it can work. Actually, it can more than "work"...it can add a level of shared intimacy that very well may surprise you. Ok...i think that is all i really want to say lol. I'm sure Bruce will add more to this once he reads it
