Super_Mole
New Member
My whole life, I've been a workout fanatic. I've spent countless hours at the gym, honing myself to society's standards, and admittedly, I've reaped some rewards from it. I have a reputation and expectation for being the "in shape" guy amongst my friends and family. My appearance and fitness are constantly in my thoughts, and if I neglect exercise for what I deem to be an extended period of time (three days), I am absolutely wracked with guilt. Years ago, my family actually intervened with me - because I was literally working out every day to the point of nearly throwing up and simultaneously starving myself. It is a mindset that is absolutely and utterly ingrained in me.
Every so often though, the thought of gaining sneaks into my mind. It is an attraction that I have been aware of since I was a kid. Interestingly, I discovered pictures that I drew as a child that can only be described as fledgling FA/Feeder/Feedee art. Recently, the desire to do so has been of a much greater intensity. But right when I'm on the verge of taking that dive, I step back and that same guilt comes pouring back. It is something that I feel like I want to do on the inside (and get an enormous sexual kick from), but I just can't seem to do it - in spite of the immense appeal.
Has anyone had a similar experience? - and for those who have succeeded in beginning to gain, how did you manage to do it? I'm really interested in hearing your responses, because I am quite torn over the idea. Thanks all!
Every so often though, the thought of gaining sneaks into my mind. It is an attraction that I have been aware of since I was a kid. Interestingly, I discovered pictures that I drew as a child that can only be described as fledgling FA/Feeder/Feedee art. Recently, the desire to do so has been of a much greater intensity. But right when I'm on the verge of taking that dive, I step back and that same guilt comes pouring back. It is something that I feel like I want to do on the inside (and get an enormous sexual kick from), but I just can't seem to do it - in spite of the immense appeal.
Has anyone had a similar experience? - and for those who have succeeded in beginning to gain, how did you manage to do it? I'm really interested in hearing your responses, because I am quite torn over the idea. Thanks all!
