If you've never read them, below are the Rules of Engagement I posted for the Dimensions Chat....
Rules of Engagement -- The Thinking Person's Guide to Chat
This chat is a wonderful thing and you just may make some incredibly terrific friends. Some of you may get luckier yet and meet Mr. or Ms. Right and will live happily ever after. But just like in any place where people gather, that's the exception and not the norm. So dudes and dudettes, let's get real. Let's not make dumb mistakes. Let's not be stupid.
Here are a few hints that will keep you from becoming the next snickered-about example of sad ineptitude, or worse.
This Cheers is just a Holodeck
First and foremost, never ever forget that this is just chat on a computer. A loose community of people who come and go. Some hang out much longer than others, and most have at least some similar interests, but that's about it. This is like Cheers, that old TV bar where everybody knew your name and they were always glad you came. Only, this is virtual Cheers where everybody only knows as much as you tell them and where things aren't always the way they seem, and where you are just words on a screen. Yes, there are real people behind those words, but for all you know, they may be Wizards of Oz, pulling strings and not quite being what they pretend to be. Most, of course are, and some you may have even met. But most you haven't. Keep that in mind. So enjoy those who are always glad you came (well, you know what I mean), but before mortgaging your house for them, do make sure you know their name.
Don't hand out personal info
Second, don't be stupid. Don't hand out personal phone numbers or your address to Mr_Incredibly_Fantastic or Tall Dark & Handsome (or SexySnazzySuzy for that matter) after three minutes of chat. Or three hours.
Don't embarrass yourself
Don't needlessly embarrass yourself by changing your screen handle from say "MarshaBBW" to "SlickWillie's Honey Marsha" or "Property_of_SlickWillie" just because you KNOW he's the ONE for you. You can, of course, and he MAY be, but chances are he ain't, and it's doubly embarrassing when the crowd remembers that three weeks ago you were "BuffBiff'sBedBugMarsha" and before that "Larry'sSweetCuddleMonkeyMarsha." Don't. Think.
Likewise, while individuality is anathema to The Borg, it is a prized commodity here. Handles like "The Puxley Family" or "Jack and Jill" may conjure up warm fuzzies among the Puxley clan or a couple of lovebirds, but to other chatters it's justy plain annoying. They want to know what part of the family or the twosome they're talking to. So remember that you are an individual. Which means you should have your own chat handle. Heck, they're free!
If it sounds too good to be true, it is
Remember that most things that seem too good to be true are. Don't accept marriage proposals from a dude in chat or IM. After he's cleaned up the mess in the morning and thrown out all the empties, he won't even remember who you are.
"No," you might say. "My Bernie is DIFFERENT. He LOVES me and I am the ONE for him, and we'll get MARRIED next week." Cool. But don't come crying when Bernie turns out to be a mooching bum that you can't get rid of. Or if he's already married and sort of forgot to tell you about it.
Limit: one per month!
If you're a person who goes through potential loves-of-you-life very quickly, curb yourself or else chat will run out of people because the former potential-loves-of-your-life may not return to chat for fear of your wrath. Good people, and especially not regulars, should not be driven from chat just because they didn't measure up as long termers. So keep in mind that it's perfectly okay to have friendly relationships without demanding a big commitment right away.
Don't get taken for a ride
Be wary of people who want to come visit you or move in after three days of chat. Be warier yet when--rats--he finds out that he forgot his credit card and could you please pay for his ticket and some other stuff? Remember, most marriage material kind of folks can't just leave a life and a job and show up on your door steps to move in within 48 hours. There's a reason why "Awesome Mike" was so eager to skip town and move in with you. And it ain't necessarily you. Maybe the mounties are after him. Maybe he needs a cheap place to crash. Ditch the bum.
Listen to those who've been there
Keep your eyes open. If it's plainly obvious that someone of either gender simply goes from person to person with the same old pickup line, be wary. There's a reason why things don't work out. Listen to bad experiences others may have had. Not the sour grape kind, but the genuine horror stories. Don't be dumb and champ at the bit to be next in line for the slimer.
And don't latch on to every new chatter
Some folks are always on the lookout for the meat. They latch onto every newcomer, trying to lay a claim on him or her before the competition does. Don't. It just makes you look desperate and word will soon get around about your practices. Nothing wrong to put up your shingle, but pouncing on every newcomer in the hope of being able to proclaim him or her Mr. or Ms. Right in a week or two shows a certain lack of maturity, let alone common sense.
A picture tells a thousand words
Keep that old saying in mind when you pick a pic to put in the sidebar. It's your calling card. Those who don't know you personally will form an image of you based on that pic.
Don't put up with crap
Always remember that you are under no obligations whatsoever to put up with crap from anyone. Just because this is chat doesn't mean people can behave like pigs or boors. That's what the Code of Conduct is for. In there we spell out what goes and what doesn't in this realm. If you don't want to be pestered by someone in PM, tell them. If they don't stop, report them to one of the chat ops and they'll get nuked.
Want some IM candy, little girl?
Beware of folks who have no other interest than to get you to quit chat and follow him or her to his IM account. There are guys who stop by and methodically go down the list of female chatters, soliciting every one of them via PM to leave for IM, without ever contributing anything to the room. Stay clear of such losers.
Do not trust ANYONE!
It is sad that this caution even needs to be part of this list, but it is perhaps the most important caution of them all. Do not trust anyone. And that means ANYONE, not only suspicious characters. Realize that even that nice person you're spilling your heart out to may secretly make a record of your conversation, and your words may then be shared with 50 others, or used against you. Do not trust anyone.
All that said, enjoy yourself. There's much fun to be had in chat, and it can be a wonderful thing, a magic place that you can turn to pretty much 24/7. All of the above is just common sense anyway, and of that you have plenty. These Rules were written for those other poor saps, not for you! And if you have additional good advice, let us know so we can add your pearls of wisdom.
Rules of Engagement -- The Thinking Person's Guide to Chat
This chat is a wonderful thing and you just may make some incredibly terrific friends. Some of you may get luckier yet and meet Mr. or Ms. Right and will live happily ever after. But just like in any place where people gather, that's the exception and not the norm. So dudes and dudettes, let's get real. Let's not make dumb mistakes. Let's not be stupid.
Here are a few hints that will keep you from becoming the next snickered-about example of sad ineptitude, or worse.
This Cheers is just a Holodeck
First and foremost, never ever forget that this is just chat on a computer. A loose community of people who come and go. Some hang out much longer than others, and most have at least some similar interests, but that's about it. This is like Cheers, that old TV bar where everybody knew your name and they were always glad you came. Only, this is virtual Cheers where everybody only knows as much as you tell them and where things aren't always the way they seem, and where you are just words on a screen. Yes, there are real people behind those words, but for all you know, they may be Wizards of Oz, pulling strings and not quite being what they pretend to be. Most, of course are, and some you may have even met. But most you haven't. Keep that in mind. So enjoy those who are always glad you came (well, you know what I mean), but before mortgaging your house for them, do make sure you know their name.
Don't hand out personal info
Second, don't be stupid. Don't hand out personal phone numbers or your address to Mr_Incredibly_Fantastic or Tall Dark & Handsome (or SexySnazzySuzy for that matter) after three minutes of chat. Or three hours.
Don't embarrass yourself
Don't needlessly embarrass yourself by changing your screen handle from say "MarshaBBW" to "SlickWillie's Honey Marsha" or "Property_of_SlickWillie" just because you KNOW he's the ONE for you. You can, of course, and he MAY be, but chances are he ain't, and it's doubly embarrassing when the crowd remembers that three weeks ago you were "BuffBiff'sBedBugMarsha" and before that "Larry'sSweetCuddleMonkeyMarsha." Don't. Think.
Likewise, while individuality is anathema to The Borg, it is a prized commodity here. Handles like "The Puxley Family" or "Jack and Jill" may conjure up warm fuzzies among the Puxley clan or a couple of lovebirds, but to other chatters it's justy plain annoying. They want to know what part of the family or the twosome they're talking to. So remember that you are an individual. Which means you should have your own chat handle. Heck, they're free!
If it sounds too good to be true, it is
Remember that most things that seem too good to be true are. Don't accept marriage proposals from a dude in chat or IM. After he's cleaned up the mess in the morning and thrown out all the empties, he won't even remember who you are.
"No," you might say. "My Bernie is DIFFERENT. He LOVES me and I am the ONE for him, and we'll get MARRIED next week." Cool. But don't come crying when Bernie turns out to be a mooching bum that you can't get rid of. Or if he's already married and sort of forgot to tell you about it.
Limit: one per month!
If you're a person who goes through potential loves-of-you-life very quickly, curb yourself or else chat will run out of people because the former potential-loves-of-your-life may not return to chat for fear of your wrath. Good people, and especially not regulars, should not be driven from chat just because they didn't measure up as long termers. So keep in mind that it's perfectly okay to have friendly relationships without demanding a big commitment right away.
Don't get taken for a ride
Be wary of people who want to come visit you or move in after three days of chat. Be warier yet when--rats--he finds out that he forgot his credit card and could you please pay for his ticket and some other stuff? Remember, most marriage material kind of folks can't just leave a life and a job and show up on your door steps to move in within 48 hours. There's a reason why "Awesome Mike" was so eager to skip town and move in with you. And it ain't necessarily you. Maybe the mounties are after him. Maybe he needs a cheap place to crash. Ditch the bum.
Listen to those who've been there
Keep your eyes open. If it's plainly obvious that someone of either gender simply goes from person to person with the same old pickup line, be wary. There's a reason why things don't work out. Listen to bad experiences others may have had. Not the sour grape kind, but the genuine horror stories. Don't be dumb and champ at the bit to be next in line for the slimer.
And don't latch on to every new chatter
Some folks are always on the lookout for the meat. They latch onto every newcomer, trying to lay a claim on him or her before the competition does. Don't. It just makes you look desperate and word will soon get around about your practices. Nothing wrong to put up your shingle, but pouncing on every newcomer in the hope of being able to proclaim him or her Mr. or Ms. Right in a week or two shows a certain lack of maturity, let alone common sense.
A picture tells a thousand words
Keep that old saying in mind when you pick a pic to put in the sidebar. It's your calling card. Those who don't know you personally will form an image of you based on that pic.
Don't put up with crap
Always remember that you are under no obligations whatsoever to put up with crap from anyone. Just because this is chat doesn't mean people can behave like pigs or boors. That's what the Code of Conduct is for. In there we spell out what goes and what doesn't in this realm. If you don't want to be pestered by someone in PM, tell them. If they don't stop, report them to one of the chat ops and they'll get nuked.
Want some IM candy, little girl?
Beware of folks who have no other interest than to get you to quit chat and follow him or her to his IM account. There are guys who stop by and methodically go down the list of female chatters, soliciting every one of them via PM to leave for IM, without ever contributing anything to the room. Stay clear of such losers.
Do not trust ANYONE!
It is sad that this caution even needs to be part of this list, but it is perhaps the most important caution of them all. Do not trust anyone. And that means ANYONE, not only suspicious characters. Realize that even that nice person you're spilling your heart out to may secretly make a record of your conversation, and your words may then be shared with 50 others, or used against you. Do not trust anyone.
All that said, enjoy yourself. There's much fun to be had in chat, and it can be a wonderful thing, a magic place that you can turn to pretty much 24/7. All of the above is just common sense anyway, and of that you have plenty. These Rules were written for those other poor saps, not for you! And if you have additional good advice, let us know so we can add your pearls of wisdom.
