By random, I picked a thread to read from back in the early days of the clubhouse, and it was about WLS and why some people might still identify with Dims and fat folks even after weight loss. I found it to be an interesting thread (thanks, Jane, for starting it) and wondered if people would be willing to share/discuss ways in which they may feel like they are in the minority in regards to what they've read/heard either here or in SA communities and fat activism in general. I guess since people who have had WLS and still identify with a fat identity or prefer to stay in fat community might be considered folks who go against the grain, I thought about the ways I feel like I go against the grain.
And, honestly, it can be frustrating sometimes in this site, and other online fat positive sites, to bite my tongue about some of my opinions about fat. One thing that I always struggle with, and don't ever critique when it comes up, is the idea that dieting makes you fatter. In terms of a general argument, I don't have any problems with it, but when I relate that to me, it does not fly. And since that seems to be a universally accepted tenet of much fat positive stuff I read, it bugs me because it isn't always true for everyone.
I can honestly say I've dieted for more than a day or a week about 3 times in my life. I lost between 10-20 lbs. the first 2 times, and at least 120 lbs. the last time. And the most successful time, the last time, was more closely in tune with the Health at Every Size movement than it was a traditional diet. I mention this because if I were to use my own example to compare to the 'diets make you fatter' then I think my example would disprove the point.
Again, not saying it isn't true, but saying it isn't true for everyone who weighs as much as I do (mid 300's, which is about 116 pounds more than that last weight loss).
So, would I be thin if I had a different mindset, regardless of whether diets work or don't work? Does it matter? Sometimes I'm afraid that it does, and if I just said "I like being fat, I don't feel like adhering to some sort of health regime is anyone's business, nor does it make any difference as to whether I deserve the same respect and dignity as anyone else, and suck it if you don't like it that I'm fat and eat what I want and exercise when I feel like it" then other SA people would say "shut up! It's all about genetics and diets don't work and HFCS is the devil" and so on.
Ultimately, it doesn't matter to me personally if people are receptive to my opinions on this matter, because I don't want to offer it up to change people's minds. What does matter to me, though, is why it seems threatening in some contexts to acknowledge that there's nothing about fat, no matter how one attained it, that deserves the treatment it currently gets in society. It seems like more Puritanical BS to not allow people to find pleasures in their bodies, and it seems to suggest that thin is still a better way to be, because otherwise why would it matter if fat people were fat due to genetics or other causes outside of their control?
And yes, I get that in many ways thin is a better way to be, in terms of how we've drawn up the playing field in modern times. So I don't begrudge anyone who might want to be thin, for medical reasons or aesthetic reasons-your body, do what you want. But does that have to mean that fat is something one comes to terms with, instead of being something someone just is, and hopefully likes and/or appreciates, and doesn't feel like they have to defend or 'excuse'?
And am I even making sense? I'm not sure, but I wanted to be clear I'm not trying to elevate one view of fat over another. I'm just wondering why one gets more prominence in fat community, and the other one makes people nervous, if not angry sometimes, in many cases?
I'm not very good at starting threads, so we'll see where it goes. I hope I'm not stepping on toes in asking people to bring up things that might cause some discomfort. For me, it's all in the spirit of knowledge, and also to help strengthen my own fat activism. Oh, and why I started this thread in the clubhouse: because I trust ya'll enough to admit things I'd otherwise not want to say out in the 'real fat world' of the rest of the Dims boards.
And, honestly, it can be frustrating sometimes in this site, and other online fat positive sites, to bite my tongue about some of my opinions about fat. One thing that I always struggle with, and don't ever critique when it comes up, is the idea that dieting makes you fatter. In terms of a general argument, I don't have any problems with it, but when I relate that to me, it does not fly. And since that seems to be a universally accepted tenet of much fat positive stuff I read, it bugs me because it isn't always true for everyone.
I can honestly say I've dieted for more than a day or a week about 3 times in my life. I lost between 10-20 lbs. the first 2 times, and at least 120 lbs. the last time. And the most successful time, the last time, was more closely in tune with the Health at Every Size movement than it was a traditional diet. I mention this because if I were to use my own example to compare to the 'diets make you fatter' then I think my example would disprove the point.
Again, not saying it isn't true, but saying it isn't true for everyone who weighs as much as I do (mid 300's, which is about 116 pounds more than that last weight loss).
So, would I be thin if I had a different mindset, regardless of whether diets work or don't work? Does it matter? Sometimes I'm afraid that it does, and if I just said "I like being fat, I don't feel like adhering to some sort of health regime is anyone's business, nor does it make any difference as to whether I deserve the same respect and dignity as anyone else, and suck it if you don't like it that I'm fat and eat what I want and exercise when I feel like it" then other SA people would say "shut up! It's all about genetics and diets don't work and HFCS is the devil" and so on.
Ultimately, it doesn't matter to me personally if people are receptive to my opinions on this matter, because I don't want to offer it up to change people's minds. What does matter to me, though, is why it seems threatening in some contexts to acknowledge that there's nothing about fat, no matter how one attained it, that deserves the treatment it currently gets in society. It seems like more Puritanical BS to not allow people to find pleasures in their bodies, and it seems to suggest that thin is still a better way to be, because otherwise why would it matter if fat people were fat due to genetics or other causes outside of their control?
And yes, I get that in many ways thin is a better way to be, in terms of how we've drawn up the playing field in modern times. So I don't begrudge anyone who might want to be thin, for medical reasons or aesthetic reasons-your body, do what you want. But does that have to mean that fat is something one comes to terms with, instead of being something someone just is, and hopefully likes and/or appreciates, and doesn't feel like they have to defend or 'excuse'?
And am I even making sense? I'm not sure, but I wanted to be clear I'm not trying to elevate one view of fat over another. I'm just wondering why one gets more prominence in fat community, and the other one makes people nervous, if not angry sometimes, in many cases?
I'm not very good at starting threads, so we'll see where it goes. I hope I'm not stepping on toes in asking people to bring up things that might cause some discomfort. For me, it's all in the spirit of knowledge, and also to help strengthen my own fat activism. Oh, and why I started this thread in the clubhouse: because I trust ya'll enough to admit things I'd otherwise not want to say out in the 'real fat world' of the rest of the Dims boards.
