wrestlingguy
"Bitter Old Man"
Link to the original article HERE
Happy Monday! Let's all celebrate the new week with a little sweet justice, in the form of a tale of woe plucked from Reddit: An anonymous dude is very upset that, after he maneuvered his "big girl" girlfriend into an open relationship so he could score with mad babes, she's getting loads more dates than him.
Poor baby.
The post originally appeared in the site's Relationships subreddit and has since been deleted, but lives on at the Redditlog archive. You see, this fella had a problem, which is that he really liked his "sweet, attentive, caring and supportive" girlfriend of two years, but his eyes had started to wander. He was feeling "disconnected from her and the relationship." So he created an account at sexed-up social network Fetlife (just to look at the pictures, honest!) and discovered lots of "hotter women" willing to chat with him.
Voila, a solution: Demand she admit to an open relationship, since "physically my desires were completely elsewhere," or they break up:
Flames. Flames, on the side of my face.
But there's a twist! You see, OP's girlfriend decided to sign up for a Fetlife account, too. And suddenly, men are lining up:
Meanwhile, Mr. Rational has been on one date and has not hooked up with anyone. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE:
Afterward, as the girlfriend makes a trip to the ladies' room, the tatted-up giant tells the miserable little churl, "Mate, you're a better guy than I am. If I had a lady like that I wouldn't let anyone else touch her. Lucky for me you guys have this open thing going on." And numb-nuts still doesn't get it:
It seems pretty clear he's basically using this woman, whom he does not appreciate physically, for hugs and smiles over breakfast. He wanted to have his cake and fuck it, too. And now that he's fallen flat on his face, he's mystified! He cannot even conceive that someone might want the whole package, enjoying her company and desiring her physically.
You'd think this would occasion some soul-searching and perhaps enlightenment. NOPE. Angry at the "unfair" turn this open relationship has taken (he really uses the term unfair! as though functional open relationships were about scorecards!), this very frustrated dude now wants advice on how to "close" the relationship again.
God willing, in the week since this originally appeared on Reddit, his girlfriend has dropped her ungrateful toad of a boyfriend like a hot rock and has just called in sick to spend the day boinking the guy with the tattoos.
The post is a beautiful little flower growing on a massive shit heap of entitlement. In fact, it's such a pitch-perfect story of one man's comeuppance that I can't help but wonder whether it isn't a lively bit of fiction dropped into a corner of the Internet primed to have kittens over it. But even if it's fake, it's still a thing of beauty, a lovely little Aesop's fable.
The masterpiece in full:
Happy Monday! Let's all celebrate the new week with a little sweet justice, in the form of a tale of woe plucked from Reddit: An anonymous dude is very upset that, after he maneuvered his "big girl" girlfriend into an open relationship so he could score with mad babes, she's getting loads more dates than him.
Poor baby.
The post originally appeared in the site's Relationships subreddit and has since been deleted, but lives on at the Redditlog archive. You see, this fella had a problem, which is that he really liked his "sweet, attentive, caring and supportive" girlfriend of two years, but his eyes had started to wander. He was feeling "disconnected from her and the relationship." So he created an account at sexed-up social network Fetlife (just to look at the pictures, honest!) and discovered lots of "hotter women" willing to chat with him.
Voila, a solution: Demand she admit to an open relationship, since "physically my desires were completely elsewhere," or they break up:
Flames. Flames, on the side of my face.
But there's a twist! You see, OP's girlfriend decided to sign up for a Fetlife account, too. And suddenly, men are lining up:
Meanwhile, Mr. Rational has been on one date and has not hooked up with anyone. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE:
Afterward, as the girlfriend makes a trip to the ladies' room, the tatted-up giant tells the miserable little churl, "Mate, you're a better guy than I am. If I had a lady like that I wouldn't let anyone else touch her. Lucky for me you guys have this open thing going on." And numb-nuts still doesn't get it:
It seems pretty clear he's basically using this woman, whom he does not appreciate physically, for hugs and smiles over breakfast. He wanted to have his cake and fuck it, too. And now that he's fallen flat on his face, he's mystified! He cannot even conceive that someone might want the whole package, enjoying her company and desiring her physically.
You'd think this would occasion some soul-searching and perhaps enlightenment. NOPE. Angry at the "unfair" turn this open relationship has taken (he really uses the term unfair! as though functional open relationships were about scorecards!), this very frustrated dude now wants advice on how to "close" the relationship again.
God willing, in the week since this originally appeared on Reddit, his girlfriend has dropped her ungrateful toad of a boyfriend like a hot rock and has just called in sick to spend the day boinking the guy with the tattoos.
The post is a beautiful little flower growing on a massive shit heap of entitlement. In fact, it's such a pitch-perfect story of one man's comeuppance that I can't help but wonder whether it isn't a lively bit of fiction dropped into a corner of the Internet primed to have kittens over it. But even if it's fake, it's still a thing of beauty, a lovely little Aesop's fable.
The masterpiece in full:
