I hate things that half-work.
Either work perfectly, or break perfectly. That's my motto.
My 5-year-old food processor was laying down on the job...wouldn't do carrots anymore. Blades just stood there groaning.
Ok, I'll chop the carrots by hand. You do the onions, food processer.
Finally, it would only chop the lightest of foods.
One day two weeks ago, I got fed up.
Unplugged the unit, walked it into the office next to the window, opened window, looked down into the alley. No one there.
I held the food processor out the window, opened my fist and backed away. I'm on the 5th floor.
A moment of delicious anticipation, and then---
SMASH!!!! A million pieces.
Take that.
(Closed the window, took the elevator down to the basement and swept up the pieces.)
It was one of the most satisfying acts of destruction...
Now, this week, a new kick-ass food processor that instantly chops anything.
It better watch its step, though...no slackers in JMNYC'S kitchen!
Today, I am going to run over a coffee grinder that no longer works...this time, I'll video.
By contrast---
I've got a guitar echo pedal I bought in 1982 that works perfectly, after being stamped on hundreds of times.
Something is either built to last, or it's not.
If it's not, I got no respect.
Either work perfectly, or break perfectly. That's my motto.
My 5-year-old food processor was laying down on the job...wouldn't do carrots anymore. Blades just stood there groaning.
Ok, I'll chop the carrots by hand. You do the onions, food processer.
Finally, it would only chop the lightest of foods.
One day two weeks ago, I got fed up.
Unplugged the unit, walked it into the office next to the window, opened window, looked down into the alley. No one there.
I held the food processor out the window, opened my fist and backed away. I'm on the 5th floor.
A moment of delicious anticipation, and then---
SMASH!!!! A million pieces.
Take that.
(Closed the window, took the elevator down to the basement and swept up the pieces.)
It was one of the most satisfying acts of destruction...
Now, this week, a new kick-ass food processor that instantly chops anything.
It better watch its step, though...no slackers in JMNYC'S kitchen!
Today, I am going to run over a coffee grinder that no longer works...this time, I'll video.
By contrast---
I've got a guitar echo pedal I bought in 1982 that works perfectly, after being stamped on hundreds of times.
Something is either built to last, or it's not.
If it's not, I got no respect.
