Hi all,
I wonder if any of you have had this kind of psychological rejection from your family. I'm a guy in my 30s, always morbidly obese my entire life, had a loving mother who accepted my body. To me I have always struggled with my weight, I know not what it's like to be thin, have always struggled with discrimination and accepting myself.
A few years ago I got up to around 448 lbs and up to 6 ft tall, and due to just getting sick of it, my body started losing weight, I caught on and when it got back to normal resorted to anorexia to rid myself of the rest of it. I got down to 237 lbs. Well that really fucks up your metabolism and since I've been dieting since I was 7 years old, my metabolism is pretty much fucked, and so just through the stopping of fasting and eating again, I started eating "normally" though not really overreating, just around 2000 calories a day. I got up to around 330 lbs more or less.
Well my mom passed, and now all I have is my fat hating dad is "medically overweight" according to the BMI scales hovering around 178-190 eating more than I do and with a curious fascination with MY body.
So he was a former atheist, but now is a born-again Catholic married to a born-again Catholic. So besides the wonderment of having me declared a bastard so he could get married (gotta love the Holy See), he staged an "exorcism" a few days ago, and had his church members pray the "demon of gluttony and lazyness" out of me. I'm still in shock that this happened. People ask me why I allow it. I am a nice person and I expect others to be nice to me, so when they don't act like that to me, I'm just mostly numb.
So going through this exercise which was a mix of Asian syncretism, Catholicism, and a dash of pentecoastalism with candles and staring at the scary Jesus with the dark eyes and them telling me not to take them off and give my whole heart to Jesus, all for the purpose of casting out that gluttony demon were alarming to say the very least. To top it off my dad expects me to lose 10 lbs a week or I am not worthy of his love. Biologically the only way to do this is is by straight-up starvation, diets will only garner a 1 lb loss a week, which is unacceptable to him.
I am just disgusted by everything. As for me I am struggling to accept my own body. I like girls of all sizes, including pleasingly plump that's kinda hot, cuddly. So anyway, just had to vent. I know few will even believe as it seems to absurd.
Larry
I wonder if any of you have had this kind of psychological rejection from your family. I'm a guy in my 30s, always morbidly obese my entire life, had a loving mother who accepted my body. To me I have always struggled with my weight, I know not what it's like to be thin, have always struggled with discrimination and accepting myself.
A few years ago I got up to around 448 lbs and up to 6 ft tall, and due to just getting sick of it, my body started losing weight, I caught on and when it got back to normal resorted to anorexia to rid myself of the rest of it. I got down to 237 lbs. Well that really fucks up your metabolism and since I've been dieting since I was 7 years old, my metabolism is pretty much fucked, and so just through the stopping of fasting and eating again, I started eating "normally" though not really overreating, just around 2000 calories a day. I got up to around 330 lbs more or less.
Well my mom passed, and now all I have is my fat hating dad is "medically overweight" according to the BMI scales hovering around 178-190 eating more than I do and with a curious fascination with MY body.
So he was a former atheist, but now is a born-again Catholic married to a born-again Catholic. So besides the wonderment of having me declared a bastard so he could get married (gotta love the Holy See), he staged an "exorcism" a few days ago, and had his church members pray the "demon of gluttony and lazyness" out of me. I'm still in shock that this happened. People ask me why I allow it. I am a nice person and I expect others to be nice to me, so when they don't act like that to me, I'm just mostly numb.
So going through this exercise which was a mix of Asian syncretism, Catholicism, and a dash of pentecoastalism with candles and staring at the scary Jesus with the dark eyes and them telling me not to take them off and give my whole heart to Jesus, all for the purpose of casting out that gluttony demon were alarming to say the very least. To top it off my dad expects me to lose 10 lbs a week or I am not worthy of his love. Biologically the only way to do this is is by straight-up starvation, diets will only garner a 1 lb loss a week, which is unacceptable to him.
I am just disgusted by everything. As for me I am struggling to accept my own body. I like girls of all sizes, including pleasingly plump that's kinda hot, cuddly. So anyway, just had to vent. I know few will even believe as it seems to absurd.
Larry
