I've been running this debate in my mind for a while now, and yes, as nooby as this is I didn't search for previous threads on the subject, I didn't even check the first page. So lets save time moderators, just lock this up if you deem it an overdone subject.
So I'd love to start off by saying hi, I've loved bigger women as long as I can remember, starting with pregnancy, and slowly it focused onto chubby girls. I don't go gaga for extreme obesity, but I would accept an obese partner. I still live with my parents (however I'm not 13 year old, I'm off to college next in the fall of 2009!), which is why I refrain from ever posting here, since I'd rather my parents not know. But I'm starting to feel ballsy, that and I now have a lock on my door, so I decided to become active.
Now I know we've all had this internal debate, whenever we discover something different about ourselves, we will question it morally unless we're insane. The main argument I've always posed had nothing to do with the act of being attracted to larger women, and the behaviors associated with it. It was simply a statement, at least the act isn't bad, at least I'm not raping, or killing, or corrupting. It is more what we seek in a partner. The health risks involved with gaining excessive weight. Of course, we all know being chunky isn't deadly, and the media just plasters it on to maintain a multi billion dollar weight loss industry. Its so prevalent we lack awareness of it, fundamentally, its propaganda from birth to be as skinny as possible, to the point it is incredibly unattractive. To have huge fat deposits on breasts, which is almost impossible at those twinky sizes.
In all honesty, most FAs are more than happy with a nice 200 pound range girl, just a bit more cushion for the pushin'. But even then, are we causing health problems in our partners? Even if we don't mean to? Are we forcing weight gain via psychological means? Then again, do we help self esteem? And pride in bodies despised by society?
My current relationship fits both sides, so its a good example. My girlfriend when I met her was 180 pounds and 5'3" amazing figure, she worked out and kept her body toned, had no cottage cheese thighs or dimples, but still had a nice hourglass figure, wide hips, a huge stomach, and a double chin. She is a recovering bulimic/anorexic, she told me she was in control, but still had self image issues, and looked for weight loss everywhere. When I met her, she hated her body horribly. When we began to get sexual, it took an entire hour of coaxing to get her naked (We were consensual, she just thought her body was hideous.) She told me I was the first one to ever see her naked in the light (And I was her 3rd sexual partner, her last relationship lasted about a year and a half on top of that!). I came out right there and told her what I was attracted to. We've been going out 3 months since. And in that time she has gained 22 pounds, and not due to any sort of coaxing by me, I only encouraged her to be comfortable with her current body. She became so comfortable, she dropped her exercise regimen, teased me with her stomach on a daily basis, etc. I'd be ecstatic about her comfort, and increase in weight. But she has bad asthma, weight gain is not the best thing for it, shes been having attacks on a more frequent basis. She plans to maintain her current weight, even though she planned to not gain 20 pounds, and after wards planned to work it off, which she noticed bothered me. I'm afraid I'll end up pushing this towards her continuing to gain weight. (I'm not a good influence already, I get turned on when she eats a lot and she loves to tease me with it, most of my libido is based on her weight, and shes aware of this.) Worst yet, whenever she mentions exercise or diet, as a joke or otherwise, I get a stress pain in my stomach and a ripping headache. She doesn't plan to go below 180, but the thought as a whole triggers this deep Freudian sexualized response. I feel like such an evil person that her doing something to live a happier more healthy life causes me so much anguish. However, I can't help but divulge in the thought of her getting even bigger, gaining another 20, and another. And I feel just as bad as those rapists because my mind is getting off on something that causes her problems. Shes still happy as can be, but shes got shitty, shitty medical history. I worry every night, but those worries always get overtaken with the demonic voice telling me to get her to gain more and more.
Now, I know this is wrong, I fight it, a lot, I tell her every day I'd love her no matter her body, I tell her I don't want her any bigger, I want her to be healthy, I do everything I can, but this pain, it shows that maybe someone with looser morals would act differently, maybe that person would rationalize convincing her to put on more, and more weight. So, while it can increase someone's confidence, it could overdo it, someone who doesn't have tight moral control can do very immoral shit.
But then again, what type of lusting doesn't cause problems? Am I just pointing out something that is mirrored in all sexualities? You decide, lets see what you think!
So I'd love to start off by saying hi, I've loved bigger women as long as I can remember, starting with pregnancy, and slowly it focused onto chubby girls. I don't go gaga for extreme obesity, but I would accept an obese partner. I still live with my parents (however I'm not 13 year old, I'm off to college next in the fall of 2009!), which is why I refrain from ever posting here, since I'd rather my parents not know. But I'm starting to feel ballsy, that and I now have a lock on my door, so I decided to become active.
Now I know we've all had this internal debate, whenever we discover something different about ourselves, we will question it morally unless we're insane. The main argument I've always posed had nothing to do with the act of being attracted to larger women, and the behaviors associated with it. It was simply a statement, at least the act isn't bad, at least I'm not raping, or killing, or corrupting. It is more what we seek in a partner. The health risks involved with gaining excessive weight. Of course, we all know being chunky isn't deadly, and the media just plasters it on to maintain a multi billion dollar weight loss industry. Its so prevalent we lack awareness of it, fundamentally, its propaganda from birth to be as skinny as possible, to the point it is incredibly unattractive. To have huge fat deposits on breasts, which is almost impossible at those twinky sizes.
In all honesty, most FAs are more than happy with a nice 200 pound range girl, just a bit more cushion for the pushin'. But even then, are we causing health problems in our partners? Even if we don't mean to? Are we forcing weight gain via psychological means? Then again, do we help self esteem? And pride in bodies despised by society?
My current relationship fits both sides, so its a good example. My girlfriend when I met her was 180 pounds and 5'3" amazing figure, she worked out and kept her body toned, had no cottage cheese thighs or dimples, but still had a nice hourglass figure, wide hips, a huge stomach, and a double chin. She is a recovering bulimic/anorexic, she told me she was in control, but still had self image issues, and looked for weight loss everywhere. When I met her, she hated her body horribly. When we began to get sexual, it took an entire hour of coaxing to get her naked (We were consensual, she just thought her body was hideous.) She told me I was the first one to ever see her naked in the light (And I was her 3rd sexual partner, her last relationship lasted about a year and a half on top of that!). I came out right there and told her what I was attracted to. We've been going out 3 months since. And in that time she has gained 22 pounds, and not due to any sort of coaxing by me, I only encouraged her to be comfortable with her current body. She became so comfortable, she dropped her exercise regimen, teased me with her stomach on a daily basis, etc. I'd be ecstatic about her comfort, and increase in weight. But she has bad asthma, weight gain is not the best thing for it, shes been having attacks on a more frequent basis. She plans to maintain her current weight, even though she planned to not gain 20 pounds, and after wards planned to work it off, which she noticed bothered me. I'm afraid I'll end up pushing this towards her continuing to gain weight. (I'm not a good influence already, I get turned on when she eats a lot and she loves to tease me with it, most of my libido is based on her weight, and shes aware of this.) Worst yet, whenever she mentions exercise or diet, as a joke or otherwise, I get a stress pain in my stomach and a ripping headache. She doesn't plan to go below 180, but the thought as a whole triggers this deep Freudian sexualized response. I feel like such an evil person that her doing something to live a happier more healthy life causes me so much anguish. However, I can't help but divulge in the thought of her getting even bigger, gaining another 20, and another. And I feel just as bad as those rapists because my mind is getting off on something that causes her problems. Shes still happy as can be, but shes got shitty, shitty medical history. I worry every night, but those worries always get overtaken with the demonic voice telling me to get her to gain more and more.
Now, I know this is wrong, I fight it, a lot, I tell her every day I'd love her no matter her body, I tell her I don't want her any bigger, I want her to be healthy, I do everything I can, but this pain, it shows that maybe someone with looser morals would act differently, maybe that person would rationalize convincing her to put on more, and more weight. So, while it can increase someone's confidence, it could overdo it, someone who doesn't have tight moral control can do very immoral shit.
But then again, what type of lusting doesn't cause problems? Am I just pointing out something that is mirrored in all sexualities? You decide, lets see what you think!
