Hello Dimensions,
Over the past few years I have embraced the fact that I am exclusively attracted to women of a particular size. I came to this understanding after several years of unwittingly dating thin women and enduring the emotional agony of not being able to preform sexually due to a lack of attraction. This was incredibly difficult and for those of you who do not understand, I would be thankful if you would try for my sake. Over the past two school years I have been seeing an intelligent, caring, and generally wonderful woman. Fortunately, she was also big and beautiful. We were truly compatible both sexually and emotionally, but tonight I had the most difficult moment I have ever had as a FA. She came over to my apartment and told me she was going for a gastric bypass sleeve this summer.
She was, albeit somewhat nervous, pleased about the upcoming operation and explained to me that she was satifised with the way she looked right now; however, her problematic genetic history was the reason she needed to undergo the surgery. I began by agreeing with her and acknowledging that this procedure was necessary for her health, but it took me several minutes to let her know that this would complicate our relationship. I told her that I would no longer be attracted to her once she lost the weight and because I understood that the operation was the best thing for her, I would not be the best person to help her through it.
I am an awful human being for putting a physical attraction on par with who this woman is on the inside. I wish I had a more broad spectrum of sexual attraction and then maybe I would not be such a fuck-up when it comes to relationships. My bedroom still smells like this lovely woman and when she stopped crying she told me, because she is a sweetheart, that she "understands." The only thing I can think about is what she said to me when I told her that I liked her at the size she is now: "All the times your called me beautiful, you were talking about all the things that I want to desperately get rid of." I know it may sound dramatic, but this makes me feel like a monster.
Sorry about this, I just do not have anyone else to talk to.
Over the past few years I have embraced the fact that I am exclusively attracted to women of a particular size. I came to this understanding after several years of unwittingly dating thin women and enduring the emotional agony of not being able to preform sexually due to a lack of attraction. This was incredibly difficult and for those of you who do not understand, I would be thankful if you would try for my sake. Over the past two school years I have been seeing an intelligent, caring, and generally wonderful woman. Fortunately, she was also big and beautiful. We were truly compatible both sexually and emotionally, but tonight I had the most difficult moment I have ever had as a FA. She came over to my apartment and told me she was going for a gastric bypass sleeve this summer.
She was, albeit somewhat nervous, pleased about the upcoming operation and explained to me that she was satifised with the way she looked right now; however, her problematic genetic history was the reason she needed to undergo the surgery. I began by agreeing with her and acknowledging that this procedure was necessary for her health, but it took me several minutes to let her know that this would complicate our relationship. I told her that I would no longer be attracted to her once she lost the weight and because I understood that the operation was the best thing for her, I would not be the best person to help her through it.
I am an awful human being for putting a physical attraction on par with who this woman is on the inside. I wish I had a more broad spectrum of sexual attraction and then maybe I would not be such a fuck-up when it comes to relationships. My bedroom still smells like this lovely woman and when she stopped crying she told me, because she is a sweetheart, that she "understands." The only thing I can think about is what she said to me when I told her that I liked her at the size she is now: "All the times your called me beautiful, you were talking about all the things that I want to desperately get rid of." I know it may sound dramatic, but this makes me feel like a monster.
Sorry about this, I just do not have anyone else to talk to.
