Xyantha Reborn
- Actually Very Tame!
This thought has been tickling at me a while as I have read posts over the past few months...
There seems to be a schism with (some of) the BBW/BHM and the F/FA. Several political agendas have been brought into the picture that seem to have contributed to this, which I will go over below, but seem to have resulted in bigotry on both sides. One is this sort of perception that F/FA are creeps which affects me more closely.
One main trend I have seen is heavy handed feminism brought in on posts that have nothing to do with the concept. Now, I confess, I refuse to have affiliations with this movement for the same reason I refuse to identify as an atheist peoples actions and words have left a sour taste in my mouth, and I dont want to be affiliated with the people who do those things. Do women deserve equal rights? Absolutely I am talking about the actions of the movement. I think other strong willed, independent, heavier women may feel the same. The issues experienced by fat people are not exclusive to females; although a female may experience derogatory comments or attitudes about her sex and her size, these are two distinct issues. The constant application of size acceptance and relationships from a purely feminist perspective delegitimizes the experiences of the BHM and alienates part of the BBW community who do not identify with those actions.
Absolutism. Some posters seem to feel they have the right to say us bbw or we females, or all men. I hate to say it so strongly; but I take offense to that. These people dont speak for me, and it actually makes me step away from the concept of ever identifying as a (smaller) BBW or even the concept of the feminist movement (which, as stated above, tend to combine). We are all unique. I know women of all sizes; some of whom are ignorant and rude, some of whom are intelligent and well spoken. I know males who are intelligent, caring, gentle and some that are chauvinists. And on that note; that word or variations thereupon have been thrown around a lot. Which, by the by, actually applies to both sex. So when females express constant demeaning things about males .they are being chauvinists too.
A confusion about what fat acceptance is/a discrepancy about what it means to each person. Technically, fat acceptance would mean that clothes of all appropriate sizes would be available, public transportation would accommodate those of larger size. There wouldnt be negativity in fact people wouldnt even notice them on the street, and in bed their fat would be treated with as much indifference as freckles. However, not everyone wants to be viewed about as sexually as a lamp post. Some heavier people want to be considered attractive, sexy, etc .some BECAUSE they are fat.
Yet, F/FAs (or people who just prefer a little cushion for the pushin) are frequently insulted and marginalized by the general populace and by those same people who want fat acceptance themselves. That hardly seems just. Do some F/FAs act in unforgiveable ways? Absolutely and for that same reason sometimes I wince when I identify myself as one. Their actions are not mine. However, I think it is critical to identify as one myself, because I represent a normal person with a normal life who happens to like fat guys that swings peoples views from ew to well, its a little more normal now.
And what about those BBW and BHM who find themselves sexier when they are heavy? Who feel like they arent quite right in their own skin until they are heavy? Are those people fetishizing their own bodies? Or would some go so far as to accuse them of the same identity crises as transgenders (etc) experience?
I think that the fat and the F/FA acceptance movements are two different things; but they do dovetail. I dont see what is to be gained by us hating on each other, when for so long Dims had represent size appreciation and acceptance for so long. We each bring our own experience and baggage into conversations, but I would hope that we, who have experienced the insult of hearing all fat people are lazy or all chubby chasers are horrible people would be above using such language ourselves.
There seems to be a schism with (some of) the BBW/BHM and the F/FA. Several political agendas have been brought into the picture that seem to have contributed to this, which I will go over below, but seem to have resulted in bigotry on both sides. One is this sort of perception that F/FA are creeps which affects me more closely.
One main trend I have seen is heavy handed feminism brought in on posts that have nothing to do with the concept. Now, I confess, I refuse to have affiliations with this movement for the same reason I refuse to identify as an atheist peoples actions and words have left a sour taste in my mouth, and I dont want to be affiliated with the people who do those things. Do women deserve equal rights? Absolutely I am talking about the actions of the movement. I think other strong willed, independent, heavier women may feel the same. The issues experienced by fat people are not exclusive to females; although a female may experience derogatory comments or attitudes about her sex and her size, these are two distinct issues. The constant application of size acceptance and relationships from a purely feminist perspective delegitimizes the experiences of the BHM and alienates part of the BBW community who do not identify with those actions.
Absolutism. Some posters seem to feel they have the right to say us bbw or we females, or all men. I hate to say it so strongly; but I take offense to that. These people dont speak for me, and it actually makes me step away from the concept of ever identifying as a (smaller) BBW or even the concept of the feminist movement (which, as stated above, tend to combine). We are all unique. I know women of all sizes; some of whom are ignorant and rude, some of whom are intelligent and well spoken. I know males who are intelligent, caring, gentle and some that are chauvinists. And on that note; that word or variations thereupon have been thrown around a lot. Which, by the by, actually applies to both sex. So when females express constant demeaning things about males .they are being chauvinists too.
A confusion about what fat acceptance is/a discrepancy about what it means to each person. Technically, fat acceptance would mean that clothes of all appropriate sizes would be available, public transportation would accommodate those of larger size. There wouldnt be negativity in fact people wouldnt even notice them on the street, and in bed their fat would be treated with as much indifference as freckles. However, not everyone wants to be viewed about as sexually as a lamp post. Some heavier people want to be considered attractive, sexy, etc .some BECAUSE they are fat.
Yet, F/FAs (or people who just prefer a little cushion for the pushin) are frequently insulted and marginalized by the general populace and by those same people who want fat acceptance themselves. That hardly seems just. Do some F/FAs act in unforgiveable ways? Absolutely and for that same reason sometimes I wince when I identify myself as one. Their actions are not mine. However, I think it is critical to identify as one myself, because I represent a normal person with a normal life who happens to like fat guys that swings peoples views from ew to well, its a little more normal now.
And what about those BBW and BHM who find themselves sexier when they are heavy? Who feel like they arent quite right in their own skin until they are heavy? Are those people fetishizing their own bodies? Or would some go so far as to accuse them of the same identity crises as transgenders (etc) experience?
I think that the fat and the F/FA acceptance movements are two different things; but they do dovetail. I dont see what is to be gained by us hating on each other, when for so long Dims had represent size appreciation and acceptance for so long. We each bring our own experience and baggage into conversations, but I would hope that we, who have experienced the insult of hearing all fat people are lazy or all chubby chasers are horrible people would be above using such language ourselves.
