superodalisque
Well-Known Member
i was reading an article about how men past 39 are feeling invisible these days. i remember when i first found the community, there were a lot of older guys around who could attract very young women in their twenties. but that doesn't happen as much anymore or does it? i have felt for a long time fat folk are just mirroring the rest of society. you just don't see as many young women with men who are 15 or 25 yrs their senior as used to be common. or am i imagining things? how do you feel about the older man thing? what did you see in the past? what do you see now? what do you think is going to happen in the future?
here is the article that got me started thinking. it's a great convo starter re: the aging of men compared to what has been happening with women and whether things are the same or changing:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/rela...sible-at-39-now-they-know-how-women-feel.html
Men become invisible at 39 - now they know how women feel
By Bibi Lynch12:37PM BST 09 Jul 2014Comments218 Comments
Now I hate other people’s bad news (that’s not wholly true — but I like to appear kind in print) — but this new DEVASTATING research did make me laugh. Quite hard, in fact.
A just-out survey - conducted by Crown Clinic Manchester — a hair transplant place, so I think we know where we’re going here — declares that men become sexually "invisible" to young women when they hit 39 years old.
That’s right, 39. The same age as David Beckham, Russell Brand, Leonardo DiCaprio and many men I’ve got off buses to follow, such has been their appeal. (I’ve never actually got off a bus* to follow a man. I’m making a fanciful point. *Always cabs)
The study says 52% of respondents believe that men lose their allure as they reach 40 — and 39+ men are viewed as father figures rather than sex symbols (because no-one has ever wanted to f--- a father, right…? Go away, Hugh Jackman. You and your active sperm) and the most obvious sign of this change (manopause?) is that women no longer eye-up these sad old gits in bars.
Of those surveyed, 54% said men not being chatted up on nights out was the clearest sign they no longer existed, sexually. The other "signs" are greying hair, double chins, thinning hair and having bad teeth. So far so utterly predictable.
In fact, I’ve never heard such nonsense. Sexual attractiveness has never just been about looks — and looks do not go to poop at 39! It’s about attitude and confidence and intelligence and wit and charm and, subconsciously, fertility. And you don't have to be married to a Dimbleby to know that men can still father kids well into their seventh decade — so this study doesn't stand up to rigorous scrutiny.
Me and the photo of Bradley Cooper I’m stroking as I type insist you 39-year-old men know what rubbish this report is. But if it has pained you, may I proffer a tiny HAHAHAHAHA? I’m no Miss Andry, but, boy, women suffer much more than men from such looks-ist attitudes. (Women’s perception of what’s attractive in the opposite sex is way broader and more forgiving. We will factor in personality etc; many men don’t.)
A 41-year-old male friend of mine recently told me he doesn’t go out with women over 23 because of how good 23-year-olds look. I’m 48. Imagine what my freckly face did when I heard those bon mots.
Still not convinced, though? Still worried you’re now invisible to the (sometimes) fairer sex? Then let me help you. Let me tell you how to make yourself not just visible but irresistible!
1. Grow a beard. I hate to be that person, but… They. Are. Just. So. Sexy. Truly. They’re masculine and rough and ooh! It’s only men who think they’re trendy-twatty. Women blooming well adore them. Hirsutes you, Sir! (Sorry.)
2. Step out of ‘broadcast’ mode. Listen, too. Nothing is as flattering as being really heard. (That’s why sweet intimate conversations melt hearts.) And nothing is as flattening as being talked over. I had a boyfriend once who would repeat what I’d just said - only loudly - and get the laugh. Megaphone-voiced git.
3) Get a job at an Apple Store. I can’t quite put my finger on it (for fear of breaking it) but there is something so delicious and enticing about men who work at Apple. Is it their passion? Their in-depth knowledge? Or the "You saved all my photos and therefore my life!" gratitude they stir in you? I don’t know. But I know women (and men) love them. A friend of mine works in an Apple Store in the States and said half his staff are "helping" customers out of hours. If you know what I mean. I certainly fixated on "Tom" at the Regent Street store. To the extent that when my friend Baylen came to meet me and my poorly Mac there - to go on to lunch - "Tom" was simply repeating "I have to go now, Bibi. I have to go."
Please don’t worry about this survey (or any survey for that matter). You are not invisible post-39. But to be on the safe side I suggest you stop shaving, quit talking and get yourself a bright blue T-shirt. Just in case.
here is the article that got me started thinking. it's a great convo starter re: the aging of men compared to what has been happening with women and whether things are the same or changing:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/men/rela...sible-at-39-now-they-know-how-women-feel.html
Men become invisible at 39 - now they know how women feel
By Bibi Lynch12:37PM BST 09 Jul 2014Comments218 Comments
Now I hate other people’s bad news (that’s not wholly true — but I like to appear kind in print) — but this new DEVASTATING research did make me laugh. Quite hard, in fact.
A just-out survey - conducted by Crown Clinic Manchester — a hair transplant place, so I think we know where we’re going here — declares that men become sexually "invisible" to young women when they hit 39 years old.
That’s right, 39. The same age as David Beckham, Russell Brand, Leonardo DiCaprio and many men I’ve got off buses to follow, such has been their appeal. (I’ve never actually got off a bus* to follow a man. I’m making a fanciful point. *Always cabs)
The study says 52% of respondents believe that men lose their allure as they reach 40 — and 39+ men are viewed as father figures rather than sex symbols (because no-one has ever wanted to f--- a father, right…? Go away, Hugh Jackman. You and your active sperm) and the most obvious sign of this change (manopause?) is that women no longer eye-up these sad old gits in bars.
Of those surveyed, 54% said men not being chatted up on nights out was the clearest sign they no longer existed, sexually. The other "signs" are greying hair, double chins, thinning hair and having bad teeth. So far so utterly predictable.
In fact, I’ve never heard such nonsense. Sexual attractiveness has never just been about looks — and looks do not go to poop at 39! It’s about attitude and confidence and intelligence and wit and charm and, subconsciously, fertility. And you don't have to be married to a Dimbleby to know that men can still father kids well into their seventh decade — so this study doesn't stand up to rigorous scrutiny.
Me and the photo of Bradley Cooper I’m stroking as I type insist you 39-year-old men know what rubbish this report is. But if it has pained you, may I proffer a tiny HAHAHAHAHA? I’m no Miss Andry, but, boy, women suffer much more than men from such looks-ist attitudes. (Women’s perception of what’s attractive in the opposite sex is way broader and more forgiving. We will factor in personality etc; many men don’t.)
A 41-year-old male friend of mine recently told me he doesn’t go out with women over 23 because of how good 23-year-olds look. I’m 48. Imagine what my freckly face did when I heard those bon mots.
Still not convinced, though? Still worried you’re now invisible to the (sometimes) fairer sex? Then let me help you. Let me tell you how to make yourself not just visible but irresistible!
1. Grow a beard. I hate to be that person, but… They. Are. Just. So. Sexy. Truly. They’re masculine and rough and ooh! It’s only men who think they’re trendy-twatty. Women blooming well adore them. Hirsutes you, Sir! (Sorry.)
2. Step out of ‘broadcast’ mode. Listen, too. Nothing is as flattering as being really heard. (That’s why sweet intimate conversations melt hearts.) And nothing is as flattening as being talked over. I had a boyfriend once who would repeat what I’d just said - only loudly - and get the laugh. Megaphone-voiced git.
3) Get a job at an Apple Store. I can’t quite put my finger on it (for fear of breaking it) but there is something so delicious and enticing about men who work at Apple. Is it their passion? Their in-depth knowledge? Or the "You saved all my photos and therefore my life!" gratitude they stir in you? I don’t know. But I know women (and men) love them. A friend of mine works in an Apple Store in the States and said half his staff are "helping" customers out of hours. If you know what I mean. I certainly fixated on "Tom" at the Regent Street store. To the extent that when my friend Baylen came to meet me and my poorly Mac there - to go on to lunch - "Tom" was simply repeating "I have to go now, Bibi. I have to go."
Please don’t worry about this survey (or any survey for that matter). You are not invisible post-39. But to be on the safe side I suggest you stop shaving, quit talking and get yourself a bright blue T-shirt. Just in case.
