Whenever I gain a few pounds, my desire to gain more just cascades.
A recent move of my office had me swap commuting by bike for aless strenuous commute by walking, and naturally the result is that I put on a little weight. Not much, should be a big deal, wouldn't be to most people, I guess, they'd sensibly cut back on food a bit or find some more excercise or just accept the few pounds and carry on.
But me, right now, Im walking around in an almost constant daydream of just giving up all restraint, of snacking near constantly, of growing ever rounder and softer.
I play with mental images trying to imagine what Id look like fifty pounds heavier, a hundred pounds heavier, twice my current weight. Almost everything triggers my imagination: sitting at my computer I wonder how much farther my chair would have to be back to allow room for my belly at various sizes, then when I get up from my chair I wonder how my motions to do that would change, as I walk away I wonder how much Id be waddling, how much Id be jiggling, how would my gait change, would I be breathing harder .
Its a freaking frenzy of fat fantasies, and it is driving me crazy. I decided long ago to not give in further to these desires, but weeks like this make it so, so, SO hard to resist .it just all feels so lovely.
Anyone else ever get fat longings? What triggers them for you? How do you handle them?
A recent move of my office had me swap commuting by bike for aless strenuous commute by walking, and naturally the result is that I put on a little weight. Not much, should be a big deal, wouldn't be to most people, I guess, they'd sensibly cut back on food a bit or find some more excercise or just accept the few pounds and carry on.
But me, right now, Im walking around in an almost constant daydream of just giving up all restraint, of snacking near constantly, of growing ever rounder and softer.
I play with mental images trying to imagine what Id look like fifty pounds heavier, a hundred pounds heavier, twice my current weight. Almost everything triggers my imagination: sitting at my computer I wonder how much farther my chair would have to be back to allow room for my belly at various sizes, then when I get up from my chair I wonder how my motions to do that would change, as I walk away I wonder how much Id be waddling, how much Id be jiggling, how would my gait change, would I be breathing harder .
Its a freaking frenzy of fat fantasies, and it is driving me crazy. I decided long ago to not give in further to these desires, but weeks like this make it so, so, SO hard to resist .it just all feels so lovely.
Anyone else ever get fat longings? What triggers them for you? How do you handle them?
