I have to say, I'm a little excited. I'm also a little scared and I'm a little relieved.
I've been coming to this site (and others like it) since I was 19 or 20. Now I'm 30. I graduated High School weighing in at about 130. College at 140, grad school at 150. I'm 5'8" tall. All my life I have had an obsession with all things fat. Girls, guys, and especially myself. I've tried gaining a million times with no success. In the four years I've been out of grad school my weight has steadily climbed but I've always been considered thin. In the four years since I've finished grad school my weight has climbed as I have been busy with work, stopped virtually all exercise, and made enough money to buy whatever food I wanted anytime I wanted it. Even still, I was in the mid 160s until about a year ago.
In the last year I went from 160 to 175 and got some comment from my doctor for the first time about my weight. He asked if I had changed my diet (which I hadn't, I've always just been able to eat McDonalds 4 times a day and not gain a pound--I didn't tell him that of course).
3 months ago I realized that, at 175 (with no muscle tone), I was getting what I would call a little more than chubby for the first time in my life. In preparation for a beach trip I began a diet for the first time in my life. To my surprise it took me nearly two months to get down to 160 before I left for vacation. Once I got there I ate whatever I wanted and have continued to for the 5 weeks and 1 day I have been back. This week I felt my suit pants getting tight (which are not 36" for the first time in my life) and I decided to weigh myself for the first time since coming back from the beach. For the first time in my life I weighed 180 pounds. That number met me with excitement, fear, relief, and amazement (after all it took 2 months to lose 6 pounds and 5 weeks to gain 11).
I appear to be at a point where I could finally gain weight if I tried and it gets me excited just thinking about it. I seem to always lose interest in gaining when I don't get results but maybe now it will be different. I want to try getting to 190 and even 200 pounds before I stop and do some self evaluation. I need to know if I really want to be a gainer and a fat guy or not. The change in my appearance will be dramatic and I'm sure I'll hear from friends and family about it but I really want to try.
Posting here is simply a way of motivating myself to actually follow through with a ten to twenty pound gain. I'd love to meet some encouragers online to share some pictures with, stories, and get some advice from. I just want someone who doesn't think I am crazy to talk me through this. So I encourage responses to this post and I pledge to keep posting and update everyone who is interested as a means of keeping myself motivated to do this now that it seems like I can.
I've been coming to this site (and others like it) since I was 19 or 20. Now I'm 30. I graduated High School weighing in at about 130. College at 140, grad school at 150. I'm 5'8" tall. All my life I have had an obsession with all things fat. Girls, guys, and especially myself. I've tried gaining a million times with no success. In the four years I've been out of grad school my weight has steadily climbed but I've always been considered thin. In the four years since I've finished grad school my weight has climbed as I have been busy with work, stopped virtually all exercise, and made enough money to buy whatever food I wanted anytime I wanted it. Even still, I was in the mid 160s until about a year ago.
In the last year I went from 160 to 175 and got some comment from my doctor for the first time about my weight. He asked if I had changed my diet (which I hadn't, I've always just been able to eat McDonalds 4 times a day and not gain a pound--I didn't tell him that of course).
3 months ago I realized that, at 175 (with no muscle tone), I was getting what I would call a little more than chubby for the first time in my life. In preparation for a beach trip I began a diet for the first time in my life. To my surprise it took me nearly two months to get down to 160 before I left for vacation. Once I got there I ate whatever I wanted and have continued to for the 5 weeks and 1 day I have been back. This week I felt my suit pants getting tight (which are not 36" for the first time in my life) and I decided to weigh myself for the first time since coming back from the beach. For the first time in my life I weighed 180 pounds. That number met me with excitement, fear, relief, and amazement (after all it took 2 months to lose 6 pounds and 5 weeks to gain 11).
I appear to be at a point where I could finally gain weight if I tried and it gets me excited just thinking about it. I seem to always lose interest in gaining when I don't get results but maybe now it will be different. I want to try getting to 190 and even 200 pounds before I stop and do some self evaluation. I need to know if I really want to be a gainer and a fat guy or not. The change in my appearance will be dramatic and I'm sure I'll hear from friends and family about it but I really want to try.
Posting here is simply a way of motivating myself to actually follow through with a ten to twenty pound gain. I'd love to meet some encouragers online to share some pictures with, stories, and get some advice from. I just want someone who doesn't think I am crazy to talk me through this. So I encourage responses to this post and I pledge to keep posting and update everyone who is interested as a means of keeping myself motivated to do this now that it seems like I can.
