I hope I chose the right board to post this on....
As a compulsive over-eater/compulsive dieter with some bulimic urges since my teens, I have had a long, strange, hard, and sometimes hate-filled journey with food. I have been working hard over the years to come to grips with my problems- first by figuring out exactly what was wrong with me and then therapy for emotional problems. Lots of reading books by authors with similar problems to mine helped me to gain some understanding of my compulsive behaviors and showed me why I do it. It also showed me how to take the bull by the horns instead of running from it in denial like I did for years.
I feel like I'm in such a better place now than I was even just a year ago....every day is making me stronger.
One of the things I noticed about my many strange behaviors is that GUILT consumed me as much as I consumed food. Everyday, emotion gripped me over food. I came to hate it. So my new mantra became eating without emotion and letting myself feel everything. It felt good to finally understand and feel what was going on in my mind and body. Even the bad feelings were a cause to celebrate because I knew that is how I'm supposed to be eating and feeling instead of taking it into myself and abusing my body with food.
One day, less than a year ago, I caught myself berating myself for eating again. I stopped and made myself think of what I was doing instead of going into the usual crazy thought process of self-loathing. I realized suddenly that I was beating myself up over food I had simply THOUGHT of eating and had by-passed. Holy cow....I was hating on myself for something I hadn't even eaten. I noticed today walking past Cinnabons(a sticky bun place) in the mall that I always get caught up in their pictures of food and want some- yet only once in over 15 years have actually bought anything from them. I feel GUILTY thinking about a cinnamon bun that I never eat........
I realize that not everyone here has my relationship with food but I have to wonder does anyone else ever feel guilt over food? How about unreasonable guilt over it? Please share your stories or comments
As a compulsive over-eater/compulsive dieter with some bulimic urges since my teens, I have had a long, strange, hard, and sometimes hate-filled journey with food. I have been working hard over the years to come to grips with my problems- first by figuring out exactly what was wrong with me and then therapy for emotional problems. Lots of reading books by authors with similar problems to mine helped me to gain some understanding of my compulsive behaviors and showed me why I do it. It also showed me how to take the bull by the horns instead of running from it in denial like I did for years.
I feel like I'm in such a better place now than I was even just a year ago....every day is making me stronger.
One of the things I noticed about my many strange behaviors is that GUILT consumed me as much as I consumed food. Everyday, emotion gripped me over food. I came to hate it. So my new mantra became eating without emotion and letting myself feel everything. It felt good to finally understand and feel what was going on in my mind and body. Even the bad feelings were a cause to celebrate because I knew that is how I'm supposed to be eating and feeling instead of taking it into myself and abusing my body with food.One day, less than a year ago, I caught myself berating myself for eating again. I stopped and made myself think of what I was doing instead of going into the usual crazy thought process of self-loathing. I realized suddenly that I was beating myself up over food I had simply THOUGHT of eating and had by-passed. Holy cow....I was hating on myself for something I hadn't even eaten. I noticed today walking past Cinnabons(a sticky bun place) in the mall that I always get caught up in their pictures of food and want some- yet only once in over 15 years have actually bought anything from them. I feel GUILTY thinking about a cinnamon bun that I never eat........
I realize that not everyone here has my relationship with food but I have to wonder does anyone else ever feel guilt over food? How about unreasonable guilt over it? Please share your stories or comments
