ekmanifest
Well-Known Member
I'm interested in hearing if anyone else has experienced this and how you may have handled.
Most of my current friends met me when I was in the final throws of a 10+ year relationship. And I guess they assumed (correctly) that when I met this person I was much thinner and he just put up with the weight gain because we were already together.
Fast forward two years . . . about six months ago I met my first FA and am thrilled. Have never, ever been happier. I never knew this type of relationship could exist - where someone loved the way I looked and who I am, rather than accepting the way I looked (but still using it against me at every possible opportunity) because they liked who I was. It is amazing.
So, I've noticed that my friends are very uncomfortable talking about the fact that I am in a new relationship. I have a group of three friends who get together once a month - and they are all gorgeous, as most people are in Los Angeles . . . one is married, one has a long-time boyfriend, and one met someone right at the same time I met my guy. Conversation all about their men, my other friend's "new man" - but nothing about mine. And when I brought it up I could tell that they were very uncomfortable.
I spent so many years telling myself that there was no difference in my friendships or relationships based on the fact that I'm overweight and this is somewhat painful to me. Another friend, who I know, loves me to death, told me that she had a dream that my guy sent me flowers, but they were very ugly flowers and she wondered about his taste. She so did not even get what this dream represented (at least to me). I have very, very good friends and I know that this is really about their social conditioning, but it is troublesome. Any thoughts?
Most of my current friends met me when I was in the final throws of a 10+ year relationship. And I guess they assumed (correctly) that when I met this person I was much thinner and he just put up with the weight gain because we were already together.
Fast forward two years . . . about six months ago I met my first FA and am thrilled. Have never, ever been happier. I never knew this type of relationship could exist - where someone loved the way I looked and who I am, rather than accepting the way I looked (but still using it against me at every possible opportunity) because they liked who I was. It is amazing.
So, I've noticed that my friends are very uncomfortable talking about the fact that I am in a new relationship. I have a group of three friends who get together once a month - and they are all gorgeous, as most people are in Los Angeles . . . one is married, one has a long-time boyfriend, and one met someone right at the same time I met my guy. Conversation all about their men, my other friend's "new man" - but nothing about mine. And when I brought it up I could tell that they were very uncomfortable.
I spent so many years telling myself that there was no difference in my friendships or relationships based on the fact that I'm overweight and this is somewhat painful to me. Another friend, who I know, loves me to death, told me that she had a dream that my guy sent me flowers, but they were very ugly flowers and she wondered about his taste. She so did not even get what this dream represented (at least to me). I have very, very good friends and I know that this is really about their social conditioning, but it is troublesome. Any thoughts?
