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Friends who self-fat-shame and believe they are unattractive and stuff

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Fat Molly

hufflepuff hobbit
Joined
Aug 3, 2010
Messages
374
Location
, female by default
Hey, so is it just me who struggles with this?

A friend is over and over posting about how she feels unattractive because of her weight. She seems to have clinical depression based on factors I'm not writing about here. This is triggering in its own right for me (as someone who has been chronically depressed since age 4). A lot of her posts include things like 'I don't have a lot to offer partners right now in terms of sexual attractiveness' and stuff like that, specifically relating to her weight.

I'm sick of being treated like a sexual outlier. I'm sick of the implications that since *she* doesn't find herself sexy, how on earth should I find *myself* sexy? And me finding her sexy doesn't matter. I both get it - because I've been there before - and I'm full of anger that people don't see me.

In fact, it's really not just her. I've been dealing with many permutations of this theme this entire year.

For me it's just the boiling point. I'm sick of my friends body-shaming themselves. and saying publicly, 'no one finds me attractive at my current weight,' 'I'm putting off dating until I get back in shape,' etc. IT STINKS. I feel bad for being angry about this because I tend to be very empathetic and supportive and affirming of people, particularly around body image issues. And *particularly* when it comes to depression.

But when people are saying (through the lens of depression, or not) I THINK I'M UNATTRACTIVE AND NO ONE LIKES ME, and then I say publicly, 'I actually think you're very attractive,' and I just get brushed off as an outlier.... that really sucks. I'm really angry.
 

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