I don't post here very often, but I thought I'd just announce to the world that there will be one less "bachelor" BHM tomorrow in the world-- that's because I'm marrying the man of my dreams!! I'm overwhelmed with happiness!
Some of you may remember my post a while back about my own guilty feelings of liking my fiance's fat and being able to express my feelings while still supporting his desire to lose weight for health reasons-- and then in another post I described how we had a breakthrough, our communication lines opened up and the stress level had gone down somewhat.
I am very pleased to say that we have reached a great point in our relationship and things just keep getting better!
Here's the awesome deal. It's important for an FFA/BHM couple to understand that the sexual preference/desire/attraction to fat should never be the central part of a relationship or the glue that holds you together. Love is much more than that. But it is something we can talk about now and it's not uncomfortable or weird and we understand where each other is coming from. That understanding is part of the communication that is necessary for ANY relationship, BHM/FFA or otherwise, to be successful.
For years I didn't want to accept myself as an FFA because of fear of being rejected, while he feared being rejected for being a fat guy. When you love someone it's easy to accept them for who they are, but that doesn't always mean it's easy to accept yourself. It makes it a whole-damn-lot easier, though, when you know you have someone who already accepts you unconditionally. I would love and adore him even if somehow he ended up being skinny (and I know he'd still love me even if I wasn't thin), but dammit if him being sexy as hell isn't the icing on the cake!:wubu: I'll admit for a while I was worried he'd get caught up in wanting to be thin and lose the weight, and I'm glad he's come around to accept himself more and has channeled his energies into more positive things.
I am so happy I sought answers and took risks in talking with him about things I thought I'd never be able to open up about! I love that I can tell him things now, like how much I adore playing with his stretch marks or cutting him an extra big slice of cake, and I don't have to worry that it will scare him away.
For our health we've been exercising together all the time, which has improved his health- while still eating normally (which for him means eating alot:happy
and he's stayed around 360-365 lbs for the longest time now. If you remember my previous post I described how he was trying too hard to eat so healthy and the consensus on the board seemed to be that trying too hard was actually sabotaging him and making him feel worse. Now we actually work out more, but he lets himself enjoy food again so even though he's at 360 I can tell that a little more of that number is now muscle because he's so much healthier and his back and knee problems have gotten better.
I really couldn't be any happier- my future husband is happier than he's ever been with himself and healthy while still maintaining that BHM figure I as an FFA appreciate ever-so-much!:smitten:
Our families, which had originally been a point of stress for him (for not accepting his weight) have been exceptionally supportive and loving lately as well and that's made it easier for him to be accepting of himself in his own skin. I'm so excited for our wedding! Thanks for all the support and I'll be back again soon (we're saving our honeymoon for later but I'll be busy the next few days anyway).
Some of you may remember my post a while back about my own guilty feelings of liking my fiance's fat and being able to express my feelings while still supporting his desire to lose weight for health reasons-- and then in another post I described how we had a breakthrough, our communication lines opened up and the stress level had gone down somewhat.
I am very pleased to say that we have reached a great point in our relationship and things just keep getting better!
Here's the awesome deal. It's important for an FFA/BHM couple to understand that the sexual preference/desire/attraction to fat should never be the central part of a relationship or the glue that holds you together. Love is much more than that. But it is something we can talk about now and it's not uncomfortable or weird and we understand where each other is coming from. That understanding is part of the communication that is necessary for ANY relationship, BHM/FFA or otherwise, to be successful.
For years I didn't want to accept myself as an FFA because of fear of being rejected, while he feared being rejected for being a fat guy. When you love someone it's easy to accept them for who they are, but that doesn't always mean it's easy to accept yourself. It makes it a whole-damn-lot easier, though, when you know you have someone who already accepts you unconditionally. I would love and adore him even if somehow he ended up being skinny (and I know he'd still love me even if I wasn't thin), but dammit if him being sexy as hell isn't the icing on the cake!:wubu: I'll admit for a while I was worried he'd get caught up in wanting to be thin and lose the weight, and I'm glad he's come around to accept himself more and has channeled his energies into more positive things.
I am so happy I sought answers and took risks in talking with him about things I thought I'd never be able to open up about! I love that I can tell him things now, like how much I adore playing with his stretch marks or cutting him an extra big slice of cake, and I don't have to worry that it will scare him away.
For our health we've been exercising together all the time, which has improved his health- while still eating normally (which for him means eating alot:happy
and he's stayed around 360-365 lbs for the longest time now. If you remember my previous post I described how he was trying too hard to eat so healthy and the consensus on the board seemed to be that trying too hard was actually sabotaging him and making him feel worse. Now we actually work out more, but he lets himself enjoy food again so even though he's at 360 I can tell that a little more of that number is now muscle because he's so much healthier and his back and knee problems have gotten better. I really couldn't be any happier- my future husband is happier than he's ever been with himself and healthy while still maintaining that BHM figure I as an FFA appreciate ever-so-much!:smitten:
Our families, which had originally been a point of stress for him (for not accepting his weight) have been exceptionally supportive and loving lately as well and that's made it easier for him to be accepting of himself in his own skin. I'm so excited for our wedding! Thanks for all the support and I'll be back again soon (we're saving our honeymoon for later but I'll be busy the next few days anyway).
