I hope everyone had a fun Halloween, what with the candy being thrown to and fro. Every Halloween reminds me of my first foray into fat activism at the tender age of 12.
I was fat and sassy even then, with my carefully assembled ninja costume and clear disdain for pirates.* Two good pals and I roamed for hours, collecting huge hauls of candy and bags of chips and whatever else those crafty suburban ladies were throwing into our pillowcases. We were finishing up our well-planned route on the street next to mine, so that my friends' parents could pick them up safely at my house. Our very last stop was at the home of a lady in the neighbourhood, a renowned curmudgeon and sharp-tongued harpy who never had anything nice to say to anybody.
We went to the door and knocked. A few moments later, she opened the door and we all shouted "trick or treat!" and expectantly held out our pillowcases. Without incident, she plopped a single wrapped candy into my friends cases. When I went up for my share of the loot, she drew back, paused, and looked me up and down. I smiled as best I could under my ninja mask and said "trick or treat!" again. She slowly reached out and put a candy in my case, and said "Aren't YOU a little BIG to be trick or treating?".
Without a word, I reached into my pillowcase, dug out her candy and dropped it back into her bowl. I lowered my mask and said "Aren't YOU a little UGLY to answer the front door?".
Looking back, I could have done better. On the other hand, it's my opinion that once you start taking shit from people, you never seem to break the habit.
*See the internet for the whole pirates vs. ninjas thing.
I was fat and sassy even then, with my carefully assembled ninja costume and clear disdain for pirates.* Two good pals and I roamed for hours, collecting huge hauls of candy and bags of chips and whatever else those crafty suburban ladies were throwing into our pillowcases. We were finishing up our well-planned route on the street next to mine, so that my friends' parents could pick them up safely at my house. Our very last stop was at the home of a lady in the neighbourhood, a renowned curmudgeon and sharp-tongued harpy who never had anything nice to say to anybody.
We went to the door and knocked. A few moments later, she opened the door and we all shouted "trick or treat!" and expectantly held out our pillowcases. Without incident, she plopped a single wrapped candy into my friends cases. When I went up for my share of the loot, she drew back, paused, and looked me up and down. I smiled as best I could under my ninja mask and said "trick or treat!" again. She slowly reached out and put a candy in my case, and said "Aren't YOU a little BIG to be trick or treating?".
Without a word, I reached into my pillowcase, dug out her candy and dropped it back into her bowl. I lowered my mask and said "Aren't YOU a little UGLY to answer the front door?".
Looking back, I could have done better. On the other hand, it's my opinion that once you start taking shit from people, you never seem to break the habit.
*See the internet for the whole pirates vs. ninjas thing.
