S
saucywench
I was organizing/cleaning out one of my e-mail accounts this morning when I ran across a link I had sent myself a while back. I can't recall now how I ran across it initially, but it's a page on Hanne Blank's blog. I'm only going to copy this one page. If you want to read her entire blog (or just the comments left from viewers), just click on the hotlink above. The link contains the page that I am copying, but you can access the rest of her stuff (and her site, also) from that link. I am pasting the contents of this page because it relates to a few threads we already have here about how one deals with fat insults and the like. She includes good, bad, and neutral things about living as a fat woman.
From Hanne Blank's blog, she entitles this page Filling a Much-Needed Void -
I was a fat child. I am a fat adult. This morning, while I am waiting for it to be light enough for me to go out and do some dog-walking, I thought I would write down, in the interest of public edification and because some of my friends have recently been having some nasty trouble with anti-fat prejudice (internal and external) so it's been on my mind, some things that have happened to me because I was / am fat.
-- called nasty fat-derogatory names in places including: school, schoolyard, school nurse's office, doctor's office, parking lots, college campuses, at home, in shops, in grocery stores, on buses and trains, on escalators, in department stores, on airplanes, while shopping at a fat women's clothes store, at the YMCA, at the gym, in a National Park, at truck stops, on the street, many other places.
-- had men (who were quite sincere about it) chat me up and ask me for a date, and accepted some of them.
-- had glass bottles and screamed insults thrown at me from a moving vehicle
-- been asked invasive and insulting questions about my fatness during journalistic interviews that were ostensibly about my professional work
-- been denied appropriate medical treatment on the grounds that all my symptoms were due to my being fat. (As it turned out, I was actually having acute cholecystitis and in another 2 weeks ended up having emergency gall bladder surgery of the "don't sit up, don't move too much, you'll be in the OR in an hour or so" variety.)
-- had small children tell me I was "squashy and beautiful"; also had small children tell me I was fat, to which I generally reply, with a smile, "Yes, that's true." (I find that simply confirming their observations and making it clear that they haven't succeeded in insulting me detoxifies the situation quite nicely without making a big stink.)
-- had medical practitioners use birth control pills as a means of medical blackmail: I'll prescribe this for you after you've lost x-amount of weight.
-- twice been denied admission to dance clubs.
-- been left out of consideration from jobs for which I was completely qualified, and seen the jobs go to people who were less qualified than I but thin.
-- written a groundbreaking book about fatness and sexuality, traveled all over North America doing readings and teaching seminars, done a lot of radio interviews, and been an on-screen expert in several documentaries.
-- had a hard time finding good-looking, well-made clothes in my size (though that's getting a bit easier these days)
-- had some really fantastic sex with people who were attracted to my size
-- had some really humiliating times throwing myself at people who I was attracted to but who were averse to my size
-- worked as a dominatrix and had very loyal clients who specifically wanted what I could do for them as a fat woman
-- had people assume that I was stupid, illiterate, or mentally retarded.
-- had people assume that I was pregnant.
-- been denied roles in several operas despite good auditions because the directors didn't want a fat woman.
-- landed roles in several operas because the directors wanted a fat woman who was also a good physical actor and I'm both.
-- been condescended to by a whole lot of doctors and nurses.
-- used my weight as a literal weapon: when fending off an attempted date rape a number of years ago, I stomped on the instep of the man in question, putting all my weight into it while wearing shoes with a stacked Cuban heel. I heard his bones break. Suffice to say that I was quite successful in eluding said individual and that he didn't ever try to come near me again.
-- taught seminars on fatness and body image at many colleges. In some of these seminars, taken off various pieces of clothing and used my own body as a Big Belly Petting Zoo, because I had found that a lot of people had no idea what fat bodies felt like and were afraid of them partly because they thought fat would feel disgusting or horrible to the touch.
-- had people walk up to me on the street and compliment me on my appearance or my clothes.
-- had people tell me to my face that I had no right to be wearing whatever article of clothing I was wearing that they felt was inappropriate for a fat woman to wear.
-- had thin to average-sized women walk up to me when I've been wearing tank tops or camisoles and say "Wow, I wish I had the guts to wear a sleeveless top like that but I just can't bring myself to wear anything where people could see my upper arms, they're so flabby."
-- had people refuse to sit next to me on public transportation (frankly I think this is a feature, not a bug).
-- had parents refuse to allow their children to talk to me or sit near me in public spaces.
-- had waitresses "forget" to bring me various parts of meals I ordered in restaurants -- but somehow only the parts that would be considered most fattening, like French fries or desserts; once a waitress told me flat out that she "didn't think I really wanted to eat that." (I informed her that I didn't think I really asked her to make my decisions for me and that if she wanted a tip and no complaints to her manager she could do her job.)
-- had random passers-by make snide comments about the contents of my shopping cart in grocery stores. [One of the funniest examples of this was when I was shopping for a birthday party for Malcolm one August and a tall, distinguished-looking African-American woman pointed at my cart (and the ice cream, cake ingredients, and other such party food it contained) and said "Don't you understand that you look the way you do because of THAT?" I took one look at her cart, which contained among other things a large watermelon and a big container of fried chicken from the supermarket deli and said, "That's a very interesting thing for you to say when you've got a great big watermelon and a bucket of fried chicken in your cart, don't you think?" She gravely looked at her cart and BLUSHED as furiously as I've ever seen anyone blush and then we both laughed in a sort of embarrassed way.]
-- had a number of good romantic relationships, a lot of great sex, a not inconsiderable number of hotter-than-hell one-night stands, and, last but definitely not least, met and established a lifetime household with the love of my life.
-- finally, finally, finally trained my mother not to ask me about my weight or dieting.
There's more, but I need to walk dogs now. Besides, I think this list is long enough.
From Hanne Blank's blog, she entitles this page Filling a Much-Needed Void -
I was a fat child. I am a fat adult. This morning, while I am waiting for it to be light enough for me to go out and do some dog-walking, I thought I would write down, in the interest of public edification and because some of my friends have recently been having some nasty trouble with anti-fat prejudice (internal and external) so it's been on my mind, some things that have happened to me because I was / am fat.
-- called nasty fat-derogatory names in places including: school, schoolyard, school nurse's office, doctor's office, parking lots, college campuses, at home, in shops, in grocery stores, on buses and trains, on escalators, in department stores, on airplanes, while shopping at a fat women's clothes store, at the YMCA, at the gym, in a National Park, at truck stops, on the street, many other places.
-- had men (who were quite sincere about it) chat me up and ask me for a date, and accepted some of them.
-- had glass bottles and screamed insults thrown at me from a moving vehicle
-- been asked invasive and insulting questions about my fatness during journalistic interviews that were ostensibly about my professional work
-- been denied appropriate medical treatment on the grounds that all my symptoms were due to my being fat. (As it turned out, I was actually having acute cholecystitis and in another 2 weeks ended up having emergency gall bladder surgery of the "don't sit up, don't move too much, you'll be in the OR in an hour or so" variety.)
-- had small children tell me I was "squashy and beautiful"; also had small children tell me I was fat, to which I generally reply, with a smile, "Yes, that's true." (I find that simply confirming their observations and making it clear that they haven't succeeded in insulting me detoxifies the situation quite nicely without making a big stink.)
-- had medical practitioners use birth control pills as a means of medical blackmail: I'll prescribe this for you after you've lost x-amount of weight.
-- twice been denied admission to dance clubs.
-- been left out of consideration from jobs for which I was completely qualified, and seen the jobs go to people who were less qualified than I but thin.
-- written a groundbreaking book about fatness and sexuality, traveled all over North America doing readings and teaching seminars, done a lot of radio interviews, and been an on-screen expert in several documentaries.
-- had a hard time finding good-looking, well-made clothes in my size (though that's getting a bit easier these days)
-- had some really fantastic sex with people who were attracted to my size
-- had some really humiliating times throwing myself at people who I was attracted to but who were averse to my size
-- worked as a dominatrix and had very loyal clients who specifically wanted what I could do for them as a fat woman
-- had people assume that I was stupid, illiterate, or mentally retarded.
-- had people assume that I was pregnant.
-- been denied roles in several operas despite good auditions because the directors didn't want a fat woman.
-- landed roles in several operas because the directors wanted a fat woman who was also a good physical actor and I'm both.
-- been condescended to by a whole lot of doctors and nurses.
-- used my weight as a literal weapon: when fending off an attempted date rape a number of years ago, I stomped on the instep of the man in question, putting all my weight into it while wearing shoes with a stacked Cuban heel. I heard his bones break. Suffice to say that I was quite successful in eluding said individual and that he didn't ever try to come near me again.
-- taught seminars on fatness and body image at many colleges. In some of these seminars, taken off various pieces of clothing and used my own body as a Big Belly Petting Zoo, because I had found that a lot of people had no idea what fat bodies felt like and were afraid of them partly because they thought fat would feel disgusting or horrible to the touch.
-- had people walk up to me on the street and compliment me on my appearance or my clothes.
-- had people tell me to my face that I had no right to be wearing whatever article of clothing I was wearing that they felt was inappropriate for a fat woman to wear.
-- had thin to average-sized women walk up to me when I've been wearing tank tops or camisoles and say "Wow, I wish I had the guts to wear a sleeveless top like that but I just can't bring myself to wear anything where people could see my upper arms, they're so flabby."
-- had people refuse to sit next to me on public transportation (frankly I think this is a feature, not a bug).
-- had parents refuse to allow their children to talk to me or sit near me in public spaces.
-- had waitresses "forget" to bring me various parts of meals I ordered in restaurants -- but somehow only the parts that would be considered most fattening, like French fries or desserts; once a waitress told me flat out that she "didn't think I really wanted to eat that." (I informed her that I didn't think I really asked her to make my decisions for me and that if she wanted a tip and no complaints to her manager she could do her job.)
-- had random passers-by make snide comments about the contents of my shopping cart in grocery stores. [One of the funniest examples of this was when I was shopping for a birthday party for Malcolm one August and a tall, distinguished-looking African-American woman pointed at my cart (and the ice cream, cake ingredients, and other such party food it contained) and said "Don't you understand that you look the way you do because of THAT?" I took one look at her cart, which contained among other things a large watermelon and a big container of fried chicken from the supermarket deli and said, "That's a very interesting thing for you to say when you've got a great big watermelon and a bucket of fried chicken in your cart, don't you think?" She gravely looked at her cart and BLUSHED as furiously as I've ever seen anyone blush and then we both laughed in a sort of embarrassed way.]
-- had a number of good romantic relationships, a lot of great sex, a not inconsiderable number of hotter-than-hell one-night stands, and, last but definitely not least, met and established a lifetime household with the love of my life.
-- finally, finally, finally trained my mother not to ask me about my weight or dieting.
There's more, but I need to walk dogs now. Besides, I think this list is long enough.
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