OK, I have a male friend whom I've been close friends with since the early 1980s. In fact I met my husband through him, in 1982. But recently, he completed a course to be a personal trainer, and I think they trained him more to be a salesman than a trainer (lol)! He had dinner at our home recently, and after witnessing his exchanges with my kids (only one of whom is "overweight"), I felt the need to send him this email (below). Let me know if you think I said the right things, and whether you think it will have any impact. I'm hoping to reach him with the fat acceptance philosophy, because before I knew him (when he was a teen), he was fat himself (so his mother had told me). So maybe he needs this philosophy more than I do!...
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Hi #####,
I didn't get much chance to talk to you because things were so busy in the house, and its hard to get you by phone many times.
Its good to know you finished your personal training course; hopefully you'll be able to find work soon!
I wanted to talk to you about something...I realize the subject of fitness, weight loss, etc is very important to you due to your interest and new career, but I need to let you know something.
I am raising all of my kids to not obsess over their body image. Girls especially, develop eating disorders and body hatred due to the incredibly intense diet advertising, focus on movie stars who are too thin, and the like. Its one reason why I have banned most women's magazines from our home. I don't want any of my kids, but especially the girls, being exposed to things that may make them develop a dislike for their bodies, regardless of what size they are.
I personally hold the philosophy that as long as I am happy with my body, that's all that matters to me. I don't care what (my husband) thinks, what society thinks, what my doctor thinks..all that ever mattered to me is what *I* think. Its still that way, if not more so since my weight loss from IBS.
The reason I'm telling you all this is to make sure you understand that weight/fat loss is not an issue for me or for anyone in my home. We don't discuss it here; we feel it gets discussed enough in the "outside world", to the detriment of so many young girls and boys who develop life threatening eating disorders because of it. Kids at the age mine are are very insecure over their bodies, and I am doing everything I can to help prevent these kinds of problems with them. I grew up with a mother who was a chronic dieter and it turned me against all weight loss diets, forever. I saw the emotional damage they can do. I may seem hardline on this, but I feel the need to be: an online friend almost died 6 years ago from anorexia brought on by the obsession to be thin; I saw what dieting did to my mother, and I have heard many horror stories from people in the fat acceptance movement along these lines. This is a serious problem in society and it must be dealt with.
FITNESS is a subject that is okay to discuss with my kids, as long as its understood that the focus is HEALTH and FEELING BETTER, and not "to lose fat". A person can be very physically fit and active even if they are fat. I think I proved that before I lost weight, and I'm not the only one like me. I know fat cyclists, hikers, runners, swimmers, dancers....being fat is no barrier to activity, but the common stereotype is that it is.
In short, losing weight has never been an issue for me, and I don't want it to be one for my kids. There is enough body hatred in our thin-obsessed society, I won't add to it in my home, or permit others to do so. I hope you understand.
Thanks,
Anita
PS: For more info on my position, see:
http://www.kellybliss.com
http://www.bodypositive.com
http://www.adiosbarbie.com
>>>>
Hi #####,
I didn't get much chance to talk to you because things were so busy in the house, and its hard to get you by phone many times.
Its good to know you finished your personal training course; hopefully you'll be able to find work soon!
I wanted to talk to you about something...I realize the subject of fitness, weight loss, etc is very important to you due to your interest and new career, but I need to let you know something.
I am raising all of my kids to not obsess over their body image. Girls especially, develop eating disorders and body hatred due to the incredibly intense diet advertising, focus on movie stars who are too thin, and the like. Its one reason why I have banned most women's magazines from our home. I don't want any of my kids, but especially the girls, being exposed to things that may make them develop a dislike for their bodies, regardless of what size they are.
I personally hold the philosophy that as long as I am happy with my body, that's all that matters to me. I don't care what (my husband) thinks, what society thinks, what my doctor thinks..all that ever mattered to me is what *I* think. Its still that way, if not more so since my weight loss from IBS.
The reason I'm telling you all this is to make sure you understand that weight/fat loss is not an issue for me or for anyone in my home. We don't discuss it here; we feel it gets discussed enough in the "outside world", to the detriment of so many young girls and boys who develop life threatening eating disorders because of it. Kids at the age mine are are very insecure over their bodies, and I am doing everything I can to help prevent these kinds of problems with them. I grew up with a mother who was a chronic dieter and it turned me against all weight loss diets, forever. I saw the emotional damage they can do. I may seem hardline on this, but I feel the need to be: an online friend almost died 6 years ago from anorexia brought on by the obsession to be thin; I saw what dieting did to my mother, and I have heard many horror stories from people in the fat acceptance movement along these lines. This is a serious problem in society and it must be dealt with.
FITNESS is a subject that is okay to discuss with my kids, as long as its understood that the focus is HEALTH and FEELING BETTER, and not "to lose fat". A person can be very physically fit and active even if they are fat. I think I proved that before I lost weight, and I'm not the only one like me. I know fat cyclists, hikers, runners, swimmers, dancers....being fat is no barrier to activity, but the common stereotype is that it is.
In short, losing weight has never been an issue for me, and I don't want it to be one for my kids. There is enough body hatred in our thin-obsessed society, I won't add to it in my home, or permit others to do so. I hope you understand.
Thanks,
Anita
PS: For more info on my position, see:
http://www.kellybliss.com
http://www.bodypositive.com
http://www.adiosbarbie.com
