user 17029
Member
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2007
- Messages
- 19
I've been a FA for quite honestly as long as I can remember. However, its literally been a secret of mine for nearly as long. Growing up I would always admire fully figured women, and fantasize about beautiful thin ones filling out. I'm 33 years old, I married a woman who is 5'10" and a one time model/college athlete. More than once she was told she cornered by total strangers that she was Ashley Judd. She is stunningly beautiful and even within the realm of the FA she garnders neck whipping second glances. I fell in love with her for her personality, and her heart. She truly is the most beautiful woman I've ever encountered in my life and her smile melts me even after 10 years of marriage. The way we have fallen hopelessly and completely in love with one another is to such an extent our friends get sick just looking at us for the horrendously loving sap that i am. However, being 5'10" her weight never eclipsed 130 pounds and of course the FA in me has always had to deal with that.
Secretly I always wished for her to let go a bit, not even drastically. 10 pounds, maybe even 15. I loved her and always will, so I opted not to bring it up, just endlessly lurk on sites like this as I have since high school.
Then she acquired a full time nursing position. Erratic schedule, always on the go, meals via drive through, sleeping whenever. Little by little it started to catch up. I'm steadfast in the belief that due to her elastic scrubs the weight she ever so slowly began to accumulate wasn't noticed until it became blatantly obvious that her typical Victoria secret sizes just weren't cutting it.
At her last physical she is now 160. Mind you not exactly the ideal around these parts, but for me a childhood fantasy coming true. Little by little over the past 2 years she is "literally" bottoming out. Still the slight arms, and the most pristine little neck hold her beautifully sculpted head and face but from the waist down it was more than obvious things were giving in to age and lifestyle. I was terrified. I wanted this more than anything, but wasn't sure at what expense. If she wasn't happy was it worth it? Can I convince her to let go and I love her just the same if not (somehow)possibly even more? Is she okay with it? Was I? had absolutely no clue how to address it, I convinced myself it was the most taboo subject imaginable and allowed it to build and build to the point that I noticed myself making the most ridiculous and moronic small talk when I caught myself admiring her thighs.
We both grew up in an environment where "fat" was a dirty word. Her aunt is morbidly obese, her mother is well on her way to 300 pounds, she was terrified of following suit, and now here she is in the midst of the very thing happening to her as well. No, I certainly don't want her immobile, no I don't want her to be miserable, no I don't want our relationship to suffer because of my inner turmoil that I've buried for all of these years. Yet so much of me was eating away at myself wanting to confess my desire for her to give into it.
My personal "ideal" FA tastes have always been in the heavily think, if not barely plump department. The super defined hourglass figure if you will with the excessive wide hips. The very thing my wife was now attaining. The old saying of "be careful what you wish for" kept repeating itself over and over in my head each time I watched her wear her bikini down in Florida this past summer, and every single time I watch her climb into and out of the shower.
I just did all I could to "play it cool", don't be an idiot. Follow her lead, and let her tell you what she wants/needs to do.
Then the voice came back again,
"fuck it, you're a grown man, when are you going to have an opportunity like this again? You have a obligation to every single closeted FA out there and especially yourself to take full advantage of a time like this. So what if she feels she has to stop the gain and lose the weight. You have to let her know."
And I gave in.
We're laying in bed not more than 17 hours previous to this very moment as i'm typing this. Making out, enjoying the silence being our child is staying with the grandparents. She rolls over atop me and asks, "what would you like me to do?"
The rush of layer old pubescent panic overwhelmed me. Her fattened thighs were taunting me like this, spreading out over my torso, enticing me in oh so many ways and on top of that she is asking me a loaded question like this. I realize that her perspective isn't anything remotely in the grandiose scheme of things. Definitely more of a here and now sort of request, but I break from this boundary and ask her back.
"Anything?"
"yes, absolutely anything, my love."
See, right there, my god, she called me "her love". That settled it, I sucked it up and like a 14 year old with a cracking voice crossing the gym floor asking for that first dance from the girl you're crushing on in study hall I went for it.'
"Stop dieting."
She laughed and then soon realized I wasn't kidding.
"You're serious?"
"Absolutely".
With that she placed both of her hands at the rounded base of both of her hips and gave them a concerned look.
She replied back......."for you, okay."
Right then I felt like I was finally "out" and the secret was no more and a sense of relief and jubilation overwhelmed me.
Now, i'm a realist, i know that this could all have been an "in the moment lustful decision on her part", i'm no fool. But this morning as we ate breakfast she asked for more sausage and winked at me and i haven't stopped smiling since and had butterflies all day.
Tomorrow i'm making pancakes.
Thank god for a site like this.
--me (a.k.a. Nocturnal)
Secretly I always wished for her to let go a bit, not even drastically. 10 pounds, maybe even 15. I loved her and always will, so I opted not to bring it up, just endlessly lurk on sites like this as I have since high school.
Then she acquired a full time nursing position. Erratic schedule, always on the go, meals via drive through, sleeping whenever. Little by little it started to catch up. I'm steadfast in the belief that due to her elastic scrubs the weight she ever so slowly began to accumulate wasn't noticed until it became blatantly obvious that her typical Victoria secret sizes just weren't cutting it.
At her last physical she is now 160. Mind you not exactly the ideal around these parts, but for me a childhood fantasy coming true. Little by little over the past 2 years she is "literally" bottoming out. Still the slight arms, and the most pristine little neck hold her beautifully sculpted head and face but from the waist down it was more than obvious things were giving in to age and lifestyle. I was terrified. I wanted this more than anything, but wasn't sure at what expense. If she wasn't happy was it worth it? Can I convince her to let go and I love her just the same if not (somehow)possibly even more? Is she okay with it? Was I? had absolutely no clue how to address it, I convinced myself it was the most taboo subject imaginable and allowed it to build and build to the point that I noticed myself making the most ridiculous and moronic small talk when I caught myself admiring her thighs.
We both grew up in an environment where "fat" was a dirty word. Her aunt is morbidly obese, her mother is well on her way to 300 pounds, she was terrified of following suit, and now here she is in the midst of the very thing happening to her as well. No, I certainly don't want her immobile, no I don't want her to be miserable, no I don't want our relationship to suffer because of my inner turmoil that I've buried for all of these years. Yet so much of me was eating away at myself wanting to confess my desire for her to give into it.
My personal "ideal" FA tastes have always been in the heavily think, if not barely plump department. The super defined hourglass figure if you will with the excessive wide hips. The very thing my wife was now attaining. The old saying of "be careful what you wish for" kept repeating itself over and over in my head each time I watched her wear her bikini down in Florida this past summer, and every single time I watch her climb into and out of the shower.
I just did all I could to "play it cool", don't be an idiot. Follow her lead, and let her tell you what she wants/needs to do.
Then the voice came back again,
"fuck it, you're a grown man, when are you going to have an opportunity like this again? You have a obligation to every single closeted FA out there and especially yourself to take full advantage of a time like this. So what if she feels she has to stop the gain and lose the weight. You have to let her know."
And I gave in.
We're laying in bed not more than 17 hours previous to this very moment as i'm typing this. Making out, enjoying the silence being our child is staying with the grandparents. She rolls over atop me and asks, "what would you like me to do?"
The rush of layer old pubescent panic overwhelmed me. Her fattened thighs were taunting me like this, spreading out over my torso, enticing me in oh so many ways and on top of that she is asking me a loaded question like this. I realize that her perspective isn't anything remotely in the grandiose scheme of things. Definitely more of a here and now sort of request, but I break from this boundary and ask her back.
"Anything?"
"yes, absolutely anything, my love."
See, right there, my god, she called me "her love". That settled it, I sucked it up and like a 14 year old with a cracking voice crossing the gym floor asking for that first dance from the girl you're crushing on in study hall I went for it.'
"Stop dieting."
She laughed and then soon realized I wasn't kidding.
"You're serious?"
"Absolutely".
With that she placed both of her hands at the rounded base of both of her hips and gave them a concerned look.
She replied back......."for you, okay."
Right then I felt like I was finally "out" and the secret was no more and a sense of relief and jubilation overwhelmed me.
Now, i'm a realist, i know that this could all have been an "in the moment lustful decision on her part", i'm no fool. But this morning as we ate breakfast she asked for more sausage and winked at me and i haven't stopped smiling since and had butterflies all day.
Tomorrow i'm making pancakes.
Thank god for a site like this.
--me (a.k.a. Nocturnal)
