Hello All....
This is my first post, and it might be a long one. I'm not even sure where this post should go, but this section sounded about right. Hi, I'm a nearly 53 year old male. I have always been a big person. By the time I was 13, I had grown to 6'2" tall. No one with the exception of the most picky people could have called me fat. Between the ages of 13 and 30 I floated between 210 and 260 pounds. I was always a fan of all things "Big". In fact as a boy, on my bedroom door I had a little sign I had taken out of a magazine that said "Think Enormous!" I loved big cars, big machinery, big airplanes and of course big women. I was always very much a believer that there is no such thing as a woman who's too big. Since I passed the age of 30 I began to put on weight, and today, I tip the scales around 390. The weight gain never bothered me physically and I seemed to handle it well, and I always thought I wasn't such a bad looking guy. My family was never accepting about my weight. My mother used to refer to me as repulsive. While my father was not as outwardly rude as my mother was, my dad even as an older man fit the military height & weight charts, and at 60 could still wear his Air Corps captain's uniform from World War 2. He often preached the gospel of eating little and excersizing a lot. My father was a brilliant man, and I often felt that if I could be 10% of the man he was, I would have accomplished a lot. Oddly, my father, the careful eater, and regular excersizer, the man who was at 60, in better physical shape than I have ever been in my life, dropped dead of a massive heart attack while taking a walk! I do know for a fact that my weight has held be back in my career. I have been told as much. I'm sorry, I've gotten a bit off the track. Anyway, today, weighing 390, I look in the mirror and I don't like me. I don't like the way my clothes fit, I don't like the way I breathe, I don't like being tired all the time. My knees hurt, my back hurts, and I just plain don't like the person that I see. The guy in the mirror looks tired and unhappy, not the happy looking guy of days gone by. About the time I turned 50 I began to have some minor medical problems. That was a problem for me, because outside of the standard colds and childhood illnesses, I was never ill. The doctors have handled my problems, but the meds have helped my meight gain. Essentially it's the last 50 pounds or so that has made me really struggle. I don't smoke or drink, and I don't eat very much compared to my size. I think that's true for many large people. They assume we eat entire buffets for lunch, when often, we eat much less, than so-called skinny or better yet "healthy" people. There's not much to give up, and I really don't want to have to settle for rabbit food. But frankly, I really, truly just don't like me anymore. BTW...I am married to a wonderful BBW. She's not a big, big lady, but she is wonderful, and she's very supportive and encouraging to me. There seems to be so many people here with so many different expereinces, I thought that maybe I would ask some of you for some advice. I'm sorry this is so long a post. Thanks..and hello.
This is my first post, and it might be a long one. I'm not even sure where this post should go, but this section sounded about right. Hi, I'm a nearly 53 year old male. I have always been a big person. By the time I was 13, I had grown to 6'2" tall. No one with the exception of the most picky people could have called me fat. Between the ages of 13 and 30 I floated between 210 and 260 pounds. I was always a fan of all things "Big". In fact as a boy, on my bedroom door I had a little sign I had taken out of a magazine that said "Think Enormous!" I loved big cars, big machinery, big airplanes and of course big women. I was always very much a believer that there is no such thing as a woman who's too big. Since I passed the age of 30 I began to put on weight, and today, I tip the scales around 390. The weight gain never bothered me physically and I seemed to handle it well, and I always thought I wasn't such a bad looking guy. My family was never accepting about my weight. My mother used to refer to me as repulsive. While my father was not as outwardly rude as my mother was, my dad even as an older man fit the military height & weight charts, and at 60 could still wear his Air Corps captain's uniform from World War 2. He often preached the gospel of eating little and excersizing a lot. My father was a brilliant man, and I often felt that if I could be 10% of the man he was, I would have accomplished a lot. Oddly, my father, the careful eater, and regular excersizer, the man who was at 60, in better physical shape than I have ever been in my life, dropped dead of a massive heart attack while taking a walk! I do know for a fact that my weight has held be back in my career. I have been told as much. I'm sorry, I've gotten a bit off the track. Anyway, today, weighing 390, I look in the mirror and I don't like me. I don't like the way my clothes fit, I don't like the way I breathe, I don't like being tired all the time. My knees hurt, my back hurts, and I just plain don't like the person that I see. The guy in the mirror looks tired and unhappy, not the happy looking guy of days gone by. About the time I turned 50 I began to have some minor medical problems. That was a problem for me, because outside of the standard colds and childhood illnesses, I was never ill. The doctors have handled my problems, but the meds have helped my meight gain. Essentially it's the last 50 pounds or so that has made me really struggle. I don't smoke or drink, and I don't eat very much compared to my size. I think that's true for many large people. They assume we eat entire buffets for lunch, when often, we eat much less, than so-called skinny or better yet "healthy" people. There's not much to give up, and I really don't want to have to settle for rabbit food. But frankly, I really, truly just don't like me anymore. BTW...I am married to a wonderful BBW. She's not a big, big lady, but she is wonderful, and she's very supportive and encouraging to me. There seems to be so many people here with so many different expereinces, I thought that maybe I would ask some of you for some advice. I'm sorry this is so long a post. Thanks..and hello.
