This is a weird thing for me to write about, because I've been overweight my entire adult life. Fat is not a new thing. Although my size sort of rested on a plateau for the last five or six years, I'm no stranger to growing out of clothing. (And no, I didn't keep it all, expecting to fit into it some day... I gave the small stuff away. 
)
It's even more strange, writing this, considering I live with a true SSBBW. My partner Samantha is well over 400 lbs, so I would expect I would feel positively tiny compared to her...
But I feel fat! And it's a new thing. I hadn't been weighed in several months, but I knew I had gained weight because of the tightness of some of my clothes. A couple of weeks ago I was at the doctor's office for my regular checkup and the news finally came out - I am 283 lbs, a full 30 lbs heavier than I was last Summer. Maybe 20 lbs more than the very heaviest I've ever been. It's not that the number means anything really, but I just FEEL fat now, whereas at 250 lbs I just felt like... well, me.
I watch Sam move about our home and she's graceful (well, almost ), seemingly unfettered by her size, confident in her movements. (She's really cute, too :smitten: ) I feel awkward and bulky now, which is new to me. I struggle when getting off the couch (so does Sam, but she's got 150 lbs on me!), I feel winded a lot. It's weird. And it's getting to me!
Fat is something I love. I love it in other people, I love it in myself, I just think it's great. But somehow it's just not appealing to me on me right now. I don't really know how else to explain it...
Has anyone else ever had this sensation? I don't want to go on a diet, I don't want WLSeek: !!), I just want to feel like my old happy, confident, fat self! Any suggestions?
Brenda
)It's even more strange, writing this, considering I live with a true SSBBW. My partner Samantha is well over 400 lbs, so I would expect I would feel positively tiny compared to her...
But I feel fat! And it's a new thing. I hadn't been weighed in several months, but I knew I had gained weight because of the tightness of some of my clothes. A couple of weeks ago I was at the doctor's office for my regular checkup and the news finally came out - I am 283 lbs, a full 30 lbs heavier than I was last Summer. Maybe 20 lbs more than the very heaviest I've ever been. It's not that the number means anything really, but I just FEEL fat now, whereas at 250 lbs I just felt like... well, me.
I watch Sam move about our home and she's graceful (well, almost
), seemingly unfettered by her size, confident in her movements. (She's really cute, too :smitten: ) I feel awkward and bulky now, which is new to me. I struggle when getting off the couch (so does Sam, but she's got 150 lbs on me!), I feel winded a lot. It's weird. And it's getting to me!Fat is something I love. I love it in other people, I love it in myself, I just think it's great. But somehow it's just not appealing to me on me right now. I don't really know how else to explain it...
Has anyone else ever had this sensation? I don't want to go on a diet, I don't want WLS
eek: !!), I just want to feel like my old happy, confident, fat self! Any suggestions?Brenda
