Dromond
Pleasantly abstruse.
Night before last, on the road back from Florida, my wife and I stopped at an IHOP to rest our road weary asses and get some food. I dithered over the menu (breakfast food, dinner food, sandwich, what's healthy, etc), while Jackie got right with the program. When the server came 'round to take our orders, Jackie fired her choice off without thinking that I hadn't decided yet. When the server looked at me, without thinking I ordered what was uppermost in my mind: A bacon and egg cheeseburger.
Yes, that's right. I took total leave of my senses. Jackie's jaw dropped! The server chuckled and took down my order and went on his way.
Jackie: "I can't believe you ordered that."
Me: "I wasn't ready, so you forced me to choose. It just popped into my head."
Jackie: "It's your funeral."
The food came, and the server set down her plate of Mediterranean Lemon Chicken, and then handed me a monstrosity on a bun. The sucker was HUGE. The patty had to be 1/3 of a pound, topped with cheddar, eggs, two strips of bacon, and topping off the heart clogging beast was a generous slathering of mayonnaise.
Before I started on my road to culinary hell, Jackie offered me a bite of her chicken. All I could taste was salt, and I told her so. Her reply: "Don't look up the nutrition stats on that thing." I said, "I know, sodium, fat, cholesterol, all the bad stuff." Fat started dripping from the sandwich when I picked it up. Steeling myself, I took a bite.
MY GOD, IT WAS SO DELICIOUS!!!!!
I had a foodgasm, I swear. It felt so wrong, but it tasted so right!
I couldn't eat the whole thing, of course, but I greedily ate until I was stuffed. It was just that wonderful. Jackie looked on with a mixture of awe and horror as I tucked into it. After I had finished making a pig of myself, I sat back in the chair and felt dirty pleasure in what I had done. Right up until my stomach started sounding the red alert.
To be fair, a person who had not undergone weight loss surgery would no doubt be able to keep this heavenly health hazard down. No doubt they would enjoy it immensely. The fact that MY system rejected it with extreme prejudice should in no way deter YOU from trying it.
Yes, that's right. I took total leave of my senses. Jackie's jaw dropped! The server chuckled and took down my order and went on his way.
Jackie: "I can't believe you ordered that."
Me: "I wasn't ready, so you forced me to choose. It just popped into my head."
Jackie: "It's your funeral."
The food came, and the server set down her plate of Mediterranean Lemon Chicken, and then handed me a monstrosity on a bun. The sucker was HUGE. The patty had to be 1/3 of a pound, topped with cheddar, eggs, two strips of bacon, and topping off the heart clogging beast was a generous slathering of mayonnaise.
Before I started on my road to culinary hell, Jackie offered me a bite of her chicken. All I could taste was salt, and I told her so. Her reply: "Don't look up the nutrition stats on that thing." I said, "I know, sodium, fat, cholesterol, all the bad stuff." Fat started dripping from the sandwich when I picked it up. Steeling myself, I took a bite.
MY GOD, IT WAS SO DELICIOUS!!!!!
I had a foodgasm, I swear. It felt so wrong, but it tasted so right!
I couldn't eat the whole thing, of course, but I greedily ate until I was stuffed. It was just that wonderful. Jackie looked on with a mixture of awe and horror as I tucked into it. After I had finished making a pig of myself, I sat back in the chair and felt dirty pleasure in what I had done. Right up until my stomach started sounding the red alert.
To be fair, a person who had not undergone weight loss surgery would no doubt be able to keep this heavenly health hazard down. No doubt they would enjoy it immensely. The fact that MY system rejected it with extreme prejudice should in no way deter YOU from trying it.
