This is a continuation from a discussion in this thread:
http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=42051
Moved it here so that the discussion could continue without derailing the other thread. I'm referencing my post here and the general discussion that followed, also.
http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showpost.php?p=787671&postcount=48
We return to our discussion, in progress...
I agree there, who we find attractive isn't an issue, how we treat is other is the issue.
I was the one who started complaining about the hot boy thread, and I thought you mentioned the hot boy thread in your response to my post here because you knew that I had brought it up and still had some axe to grind against me about it. I see that I was wrong about that and that I was being too defensive.
I didn't bring up the hot boy thread, you brought it up, and you brought up the subject of why people take that thread personally or feel threatened. I would say I feel marginalized by it... threatened seems like a word that is chosen to make someone else sound weak. Whether or not you knew that you were complaining about me, you were in fact complaining about me and I wanted my to bring in my side without hi-jacking the poll thread, the best way I thought I could do that was to link to my original post about it.
But suggesting that people get their hot, skinny celebrity fix somewhere else is just asking too much, I guess.
Don't feel like you have to pull out all your big guns to win this one, the issue of Carl vs. the Hot Boy thread has already been decided and Carl lost.
Yet I am still here.
http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showthread.php?t=42051
Moved it here so that the discussion could continue without derailing the other thread. I'm referencing my post here and the general discussion that followed, also.
http://www.dimensionsmagazine.com/forums/showpost.php?p=787671&postcount=48
We return to our discussion, in progress...
I agree there, who we find attractive isn't an issue, how we treat is other is the issue.
No one actually said that, I felt like they had, though. After I posted against that Hot Boy thread there were women from the main boards who I had never seen on the FFA/BHM board come to argue for the existence of the hot boy thread, seemingly so that we could know how wrong we were. Of course there were also women who came to let us know they thought we were right, but overall it did leave me with the feeling that the enforcers had come to visit.
I was the one who started complaining about the hot boy thread, and I thought you mentioned the hot boy thread in your response to my post here because you knew that I had brought it up and still had some axe to grind against me about it. I see that I was wrong about that and that I was being too defensive.
I didn't bring up the hot boy thread, you brought it up, and you brought up the subject of why people take that thread personally or feel threatened. I would say I feel marginalized by it... threatened seems like a word that is chosen to make someone else sound weak. Whether or not you knew that you were complaining about me, you were in fact complaining about me and I wanted my to bring in my side without hi-jacking the poll thread, the best way I thought I could do that was to link to my original post about it.
I said before that a thread full of pictures of the FAs here, whatever their size or of the significant others, whatever their size, would (IMO) be perfectly fine, because this is the only place you're going to see that, and the FAs are part of the community (I doubt that any of those hot celebrities are). Is it really so hard to find pictures of hot celebrities that there has to pictures of them, not just everywhere else, but here as well? Am I the only person who sees these sort of places as a refuge of sorts? I don't look at those pictures and see anyone there that looks like me, and yet somehow, I am not supposed to take away the message that people like me aren't hot? The message that because I am fat, I am not hot, is a negative message that I can find most anyplace, I come to places like this to get away from that message. I don't expect fat women to date only fat men, but I do expect fat women to understand the commonality of our problems and that fat men need to have a respite from the criticisms of the outside world, just like fat women do. I don't want Conrad to issue any edict, I want people to behave with consideration toward each other without having to be forced to do it.
But suggesting that people get their hot, skinny celebrity fix somewhere else is just asking too much, I guess.
What I was unsuccessfully trying to say was that what I got out of the last part of your post was that you were asking whether you couldn't just prefer not to date fat guys without people trying to make you feel guilty. I thought that you were referring to the fact that the poll choice said, "Don't hate me for loving the skinny men!" As I said, I chose that wording because I was trying to be playful. If you were responding to my saying that I've heard from BHMs that they don't go to the main boards because the fat women only like the skinny guys and I heard from BBWs that they don't go to the BHM/FFA board because the fat guys only like the skinny women. I wasn't criticizing, I was just reporting what I had heard. It's not any sillier or wrong one way than it is the other.
So, anyone can post whatever they want as long as the don't explicitly cross the line? There is never any meaning to what anyone says beyond the precise meaning of every word? That's a nice debate tactic, but it isn't true. I'm fat, I can get hurt and told I am undesirable from almost every person on the planet, you don't think it makes a difference if I also get it here? I'm internalizing issues? The onus is on me? Blame the victim much? Is this the advice you would give a fat woman who said that people made her feel ugly because she is fat?
Don't feel like you have to pull out all your big guns to win this one, the issue of Carl vs. the Hot Boy thread has already been decided and Carl lost.
Yet I am still here.
