Not the original, nor the one scripted here, but it's basicallythe same skit.
Sebastian: Peanuts!
Dexter: Peanuts!
Sebastian: Popcorn!
Dexter: Popcorn!
Sebastian: Crackerjack!
Dexter: Crackerjack!
Sebastian: Get your packages of crackerjack here!
Dexter: -- crackerjack -- will you keep quiet? Sebastian! Sebastian, please! Don't interrupt my act ! Sebastian!
Sebastian: Oh, Mr. Broadhurst, I didn't see the lights there. I forgot about 'em.
Dexter: What in the world are you doing? Why interrupt my act like this?
Sebastian: Look, Mr. Broadhurst, I mean after all -- if you're in a ball park -- they always sell peanuts and popcorns and things like that.
Dexter: I know that, Sebastian, but not in front of -- I -- beg -- your pardon please.
Sebastian: Ladies and gentlemen and also the children -- will you excuse me for a minute, please? Thank you.
Dexter: What do you want to do?
Sebastian: Look, Mr. Broadhurst --
Dexter: What are you doing?
Sebastian: I love baseball!
Dexter: Well, we all love baseball.
Sebastian: When we get to St. Louis, will you tell me the guys' names on the team so when I go to see them in that St. Louis ball park I'll be able to know those fellows?
Dexter: Well, now -- is it all right, folks? All right.
Sebastian: Excuse me.
Dexter: All right.
Sebastian: I wanta -- I wanta find out the fellows' names.
Dexter: As long as it's okay with the audience.
Sebastian: I'm crazy about baseball.
Dexter: Will you stand still? Pick up your hat! Go pick up your hat.
Sebastian: Okay.
Dexter: Now look. Then you'll go and peddle your popcorn and don't interrupt the act any more?
Sebastian: Yes sir.
Dexter: All right. But you know, strange as it may seem, they give ball players nowadays very peculiar names.
Sebastian: Funny names?
Dexter: Nicknames. Nicknames.
Sebastian: Not -- not as funny as my name -- Sebastian Dinwiddie.
Dexter: Oh, yes, yes, yes!
Sebastian: Funnier than that?
Dexter: Oh, absolutely. Yes. Now, on the St. Louis team we have Who's on first, What's on second, I don't Know is on third --
Sebastian: That's what I want to find out. I want you to tell me the names of the fellows on the St. Louis team.
Dexter: I'm telling you. Who's on first, What's on second, I don't Know is on third --
Sebastian: You know the fellows' names?
Dexter: Yes.
Sebastian: Well, then, who's playin' first?
Dexter: Yes.
Sebastian: I mean the fellow's name on first base.
Dexter: Who.
Sebastian: The fellow playin' first base for St. Louis.
Dexter: Who.
Sebastian: The guy on first base.
Dexter: Who is on first.
Sebastian: Well, what are you askin' me for?
Dexter: I'm not asking you -- I'm telling you. WHO IS ON FIRST.
Sebastian: I'm asking you -- who's on first?
Dexter: That's the man's name!
Sebastian: That's who's name?
Dexter: Yes.
Sebastian: Well, go ahead and tell me!
Dexter: Who.
Sebastian: The guy on first.
Dexter: Who.
Sebastian: The first baseman.
Dexter: Who is on first.
Sebastian: Have you got a first baseman on first?
Dexter: Certainly.
Sebastian: Then who's playing first?
Dexter: Absolutely.
Sebastian: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?
Dexter: Every dollar of it. And why not, the man's entitled to it.
Sebastian: Who is?
Dexter: Yes.
Sebastian: So who gets it?
Dexter: Why shouldn't he? Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.
Sebastian: Who's wife?
Dexter: Yes. After all the man earns it.
Sebastian: Who does?
Dexter: Absolutely.
Sebastian: Well all I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name on first base.
Dexter: Oh, no, no, What is on Second base.
Sebastian: I'm not asking you who's on second.
Dexter: Who's on first.
Sebastian: That's what I'm trying to find out.
Dexter: Well, don't change the players around.
Sebastian: I'm not changing nobody.
Dexter: Now, take it easy.
Sebastian: What's the guy's name on first base?
Dexter: What's the guy's name on second base.
Sebastian: I'm not askin' ya who's on second.
Dexter: Who's on first.
Sebastian: I don't know.
Dexter: He's on third. We're not talking about him.
Sebastian: How could I get on third base?
Dexter: You mentioned his name.
Sebastian: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third?
Dexter: No, who's playing first.
Sebastian: Stay offa first will ya?
Dexter: Well what do you want me to do?
Sebastian: Now what's the guy's name on first base?
Dexter: What's on second.
Sebastian: I'm not asking ya who's on second.
Dexter: Who's on first.
Sebastian: I don't know.
Dexter: He's on third.
Sebastian: There I go back on third again.
Dexter: Well, I can't change their names.
Sebastian: Say, will you please stay on third base, Mr. Broadhurst.
Dexter: Please. Now what is it you want to know?
Sebastian: What is the fellow's name on third base?
Dexter: What is the fellow's name on second base.
Sebastian: I'm not askin' ya who's on second.
Dexter: Who's on first.
Sebastian: I don't know.
Dexter and Sebastian: Third base!
Sebastian: You got an outfield?
Dexter: Oh, sure.
Sebastian: St. Louis has got a good outfield?
Dexter: Oh, absolutely.
Sebastian: The left fielder's name?
Dexter: Why?
Sebastian: I don't know, I just thought I'd ask.
Dexter: Well, I just thought I'd tell you.
Sebastian: Then tell me who's playing left field.
Dexter: Who's playing first.
Sebastian: Stay out of the infield.
Dexter: Don't mention any name out there.
Sebastian: I want to know what's the fellow's name on left field.
Dexter: What is on second.
Sebastian: I'm not asking you who's on second.
Dexter: Who's on first.
Sebastian: I don't know.
Dexter: Now take it easy, take it easy.
Sebastian: And the left fielder's name?
Dexter: Why.
Sebastian: Because.
Dexter: Oh, he's center Field. Will you pick up your hat please.
Sebastian: Center Field.
Dexter: Pick up your hat. And stop this -- Now look, please.
Sebastian: Mr. Broadhurst.
Dexter: Yes?
Sebastian: Wait a minute. You got a pitcher on the team?
Dexter: Wouldn't this be a fine team without a pitcher.
Sebastian: I don't know. Tell me the pitcher's name.
Dexter: Tomorrow.
Sebastian: You don't want to tell me today?
Dexter: I'm telling you man.
Sebastian: Then go ahead.
Dexter: Tomorrow.
Sebastian: What time?
Dexter: What time what?
Sebastian: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's pitching?
Dexter: Now listen, Who is not pitching, Who is on --
Sebastian: I'll break your arm if you say who's on first.
Dexter: Then why come up here and ask?
Sebastian: I want to know what's the pitcher's name.
Dexter: What's on second.
Sebastian: I don't know.
Sebastian and Dexter: Third base!
Sebastian: You gotta catcher?
Dexter: Yes.
Sebastian: The Catcher's name?
Dexter: Today.
Sebastian: Today. And tomorrow's pitching.
Dexter: Now you've got it.
Sebastian: That's all, St. Louis got a couple of days on their team. That's all.
Dexter: Well I can't help that. Alright. What do you want me to do?
Sebastian: Gotta catcher?
Dexter: Yes.
Sebastian: I'm a good catcher too you know.
Dexter: I know that.
Sebastian: I would like to play for the St. Louis team.
Dexter: Well I might arrange that.
Sebastian: I would like to catch. Now I'm being a good Catcher, tomorrow's pitching on the team, and I'm catching.
Dexter: Yes.
Sebastian: Tomorrow throws the ball and the guy bunts the ball.
Dexter: Yes.
Sebastian: Now when he bunts the ball -- me being a good catcher -- I want to throw the guy out at first base, so I pick up the ball and throw it to who.
Dexter: Now, that's the first thing you've said right.
Sebastian: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!
Dexter: Well, that's all you have to do.
Sebastian: Is to throw it to first base.
Dexter: Yes.
Sebastian: Now who's got it?
Dexter: Naturally.
Sebastian: Who has it?
Dexter: Naturally.
Sebastian: Naturally.
Dexter: Naturally.
Sebastian: O.K.
Dexter: Now you've got it.
Sebastian: I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally.
Dexter: No you don't you throw the ball to first base.
Sebastian: The who gets it?
Dexter: Naturally.
Sebastian: O.K.
Dexter: Alright.
Sebastian: I throw the ball to Naturally.
Dexter: You don't. You throw it to Who.
Sebastian: Naturally.
Dexter: Well, naturally. Say it that way.
Sebastian: That's what I said.
Dexter: You did not.
Sebastian: I said I'd throw the ball to Naturally.
Dexter: You don't. You throw it to Who.
Sebastian: Naturally.
Dexter: Yes.
Sebastian: So I throw the ball to first base and Naturally gets it.
Dexter: No. You throw the ball to first base --
Sebastian: Then who gets it?
Dexter: Naturally.
Sebastian: That's what I'm saying.
Dexter: You're not saying that.
Sebastian: Excuse me folks.
Dexter: It's alright. I'm sorry folks.
Sebastian: I throw the ball to Naturally.
Dexter: You throw it to Who.
Sebastian: Naturally.
Dexter: Naturally. Well say it that way.
Sebastian: That's what I'm saying.
Dexter: Don't get excited. Now don't get excited.
Sebastian: I throw the ball to first base.
Dexter: Then Who gets it.
Sebastian: He better get it.
Dexter: That's it. Alright now don't get excited. Take it easy.
Sebastian: Hmmph.
Dexter: Hmmph.
Sebastian: Now I throw the ball to first base, who-ever it is grabs the ball, so the guy runs to second.
Dexter: Uh-huh.
Sebastian: Who picks up the ball and throws it to what. What throws it to I don't know. I don't know throws it back to tomorrow -- a triple play.
Dexter: Yeah. It could be.
Sebastian: Another guy gets up and it's a long fly ball to center. Why? I don't know. And I don't care.
Dexter: What was that?
Sebastian: I said, I DON'T CARE.
Dexter: Oh, that's our shortstop!
Sebastian: Peanuts!
Dexter: Peanuts!
Sebastian: Popcorn!
Dexter: Popcorn!
Sebastian: Crackerjack!
Dexter: Crackerjack!
Sebastian: Get your packages of crackerjack here!
Dexter: -- crackerjack -- will you keep quiet? Sebastian! Sebastian, please! Don't interrupt my act ! Sebastian!
Sebastian: Oh, Mr. Broadhurst, I didn't see the lights there. I forgot about 'em.
Dexter: What in the world are you doing? Why interrupt my act like this?
Sebastian: Look, Mr. Broadhurst, I mean after all -- if you're in a ball park -- they always sell peanuts and popcorns and things like that.
Dexter: I know that, Sebastian, but not in front of -- I -- beg -- your pardon please.
Sebastian: Ladies and gentlemen and also the children -- will you excuse me for a minute, please? Thank you.
Dexter: What do you want to do?
Sebastian: Look, Mr. Broadhurst --
Dexter: What are you doing?
Sebastian: I love baseball!
Dexter: Well, we all love baseball.
Sebastian: When we get to St. Louis, will you tell me the guys' names on the team so when I go to see them in that St. Louis ball park I'll be able to know those fellows?
Dexter: Well, now -- is it all right, folks? All right.
Sebastian: Excuse me.
Dexter: All right.
Sebastian: I wanta -- I wanta find out the fellows' names.
Dexter: As long as it's okay with the audience.
Sebastian: I'm crazy about baseball.
Dexter: Will you stand still? Pick up your hat! Go pick up your hat.
Sebastian: Okay.
Dexter: Now look. Then you'll go and peddle your popcorn and don't interrupt the act any more?
Sebastian: Yes sir.
Dexter: All right. But you know, strange as it may seem, they give ball players nowadays very peculiar names.
Sebastian: Funny names?
Dexter: Nicknames. Nicknames.
Sebastian: Not -- not as funny as my name -- Sebastian Dinwiddie.
Dexter: Oh, yes, yes, yes!
Sebastian: Funnier than that?
Dexter: Oh, absolutely. Yes. Now, on the St. Louis team we have Who's on first, What's on second, I don't Know is on third --
Sebastian: That's what I want to find out. I want you to tell me the names of the fellows on the St. Louis team.
Dexter: I'm telling you. Who's on first, What's on second, I don't Know is on third --
Sebastian: You know the fellows' names?
Dexter: Yes.
Sebastian: Well, then, who's playin' first?
Dexter: Yes.
Sebastian: I mean the fellow's name on first base.
Dexter: Who.
Sebastian: The fellow playin' first base for St. Louis.
Dexter: Who.
Sebastian: The guy on first base.
Dexter: Who is on first.
Sebastian: Well, what are you askin' me for?
Dexter: I'm not asking you -- I'm telling you. WHO IS ON FIRST.
Sebastian: I'm asking you -- who's on first?
Dexter: That's the man's name!
Sebastian: That's who's name?
Dexter: Yes.
Sebastian: Well, go ahead and tell me!
Dexter: Who.
Sebastian: The guy on first.
Dexter: Who.
Sebastian: The first baseman.
Dexter: Who is on first.
Sebastian: Have you got a first baseman on first?
Dexter: Certainly.
Sebastian: Then who's playing first?
Dexter: Absolutely.
Sebastian: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money?
Dexter: Every dollar of it. And why not, the man's entitled to it.
Sebastian: Who is?
Dexter: Yes.
Sebastian: So who gets it?
Dexter: Why shouldn't he? Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it.
Sebastian: Who's wife?
Dexter: Yes. After all the man earns it.
Sebastian: Who does?
Dexter: Absolutely.
Sebastian: Well all I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name on first base.
Dexter: Oh, no, no, What is on Second base.
Sebastian: I'm not asking you who's on second.
Dexter: Who's on first.
Sebastian: That's what I'm trying to find out.
Dexter: Well, don't change the players around.
Sebastian: I'm not changing nobody.
Dexter: Now, take it easy.
Sebastian: What's the guy's name on first base?
Dexter: What's the guy's name on second base.
Sebastian: I'm not askin' ya who's on second.
Dexter: Who's on first.
Sebastian: I don't know.
Dexter: He's on third. We're not talking about him.
Sebastian: How could I get on third base?
Dexter: You mentioned his name.
Sebastian: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third?
Dexter: No, who's playing first.
Sebastian: Stay offa first will ya?
Dexter: Well what do you want me to do?
Sebastian: Now what's the guy's name on first base?
Dexter: What's on second.
Sebastian: I'm not asking ya who's on second.
Dexter: Who's on first.
Sebastian: I don't know.
Dexter: He's on third.
Sebastian: There I go back on third again.
Dexter: Well, I can't change their names.
Sebastian: Say, will you please stay on third base, Mr. Broadhurst.
Dexter: Please. Now what is it you want to know?
Sebastian: What is the fellow's name on third base?
Dexter: What is the fellow's name on second base.
Sebastian: I'm not askin' ya who's on second.
Dexter: Who's on first.
Sebastian: I don't know.
Dexter and Sebastian: Third base!
Sebastian: You got an outfield?
Dexter: Oh, sure.
Sebastian: St. Louis has got a good outfield?
Dexter: Oh, absolutely.
Sebastian: The left fielder's name?
Dexter: Why?
Sebastian: I don't know, I just thought I'd ask.
Dexter: Well, I just thought I'd tell you.
Sebastian: Then tell me who's playing left field.
Dexter: Who's playing first.
Sebastian: Stay out of the infield.
Dexter: Don't mention any name out there.
Sebastian: I want to know what's the fellow's name on left field.
Dexter: What is on second.
Sebastian: I'm not asking you who's on second.
Dexter: Who's on first.
Sebastian: I don't know.
Dexter: Now take it easy, take it easy.
Sebastian: And the left fielder's name?
Dexter: Why.
Sebastian: Because.
Dexter: Oh, he's center Field. Will you pick up your hat please.
Sebastian: Center Field.
Dexter: Pick up your hat. And stop this -- Now look, please.
Sebastian: Mr. Broadhurst.
Dexter: Yes?
Sebastian: Wait a minute. You got a pitcher on the team?
Dexter: Wouldn't this be a fine team without a pitcher.
Sebastian: I don't know. Tell me the pitcher's name.
Dexter: Tomorrow.
Sebastian: You don't want to tell me today?
Dexter: I'm telling you man.
Sebastian: Then go ahead.
Dexter: Tomorrow.
Sebastian: What time?
Dexter: What time what?
Sebastian: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's pitching?
Dexter: Now listen, Who is not pitching, Who is on --
Sebastian: I'll break your arm if you say who's on first.
Dexter: Then why come up here and ask?
Sebastian: I want to know what's the pitcher's name.
Dexter: What's on second.
Sebastian: I don't know.
Sebastian and Dexter: Third base!
Sebastian: You gotta catcher?
Dexter: Yes.
Sebastian: The Catcher's name?
Dexter: Today.
Sebastian: Today. And tomorrow's pitching.
Dexter: Now you've got it.
Sebastian: That's all, St. Louis got a couple of days on their team. That's all.
Dexter: Well I can't help that. Alright. What do you want me to do?
Sebastian: Gotta catcher?
Dexter: Yes.
Sebastian: I'm a good catcher too you know.
Dexter: I know that.
Sebastian: I would like to play for the St. Louis team.
Dexter: Well I might arrange that.
Sebastian: I would like to catch. Now I'm being a good Catcher, tomorrow's pitching on the team, and I'm catching.
Dexter: Yes.
Sebastian: Tomorrow throws the ball and the guy bunts the ball.
Dexter: Yes.
Sebastian: Now when he bunts the ball -- me being a good catcher -- I want to throw the guy out at first base, so I pick up the ball and throw it to who.
Dexter: Now, that's the first thing you've said right.
Sebastian: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!
Dexter: Well, that's all you have to do.
Sebastian: Is to throw it to first base.
Dexter: Yes.
Sebastian: Now who's got it?
Dexter: Naturally.
Sebastian: Who has it?
Dexter: Naturally.
Sebastian: Naturally.
Dexter: Naturally.
Sebastian: O.K.
Dexter: Now you've got it.
Sebastian: I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally.
Dexter: No you don't you throw the ball to first base.
Sebastian: The who gets it?
Dexter: Naturally.
Sebastian: O.K.
Dexter: Alright.
Sebastian: I throw the ball to Naturally.
Dexter: You don't. You throw it to Who.
Sebastian: Naturally.
Dexter: Well, naturally. Say it that way.
Sebastian: That's what I said.
Dexter: You did not.
Sebastian: I said I'd throw the ball to Naturally.
Dexter: You don't. You throw it to Who.
Sebastian: Naturally.
Dexter: Yes.
Sebastian: So I throw the ball to first base and Naturally gets it.
Dexter: No. You throw the ball to first base --
Sebastian: Then who gets it?
Dexter: Naturally.
Sebastian: That's what I'm saying.
Dexter: You're not saying that.
Sebastian: Excuse me folks.
Dexter: It's alright. I'm sorry folks.
Sebastian: I throw the ball to Naturally.
Dexter: You throw it to Who.
Sebastian: Naturally.
Dexter: Naturally. Well say it that way.
Sebastian: That's what I'm saying.
Dexter: Don't get excited. Now don't get excited.
Sebastian: I throw the ball to first base.
Dexter: Then Who gets it.
Sebastian: He better get it.
Dexter: That's it. Alright now don't get excited. Take it easy.
Sebastian: Hmmph.
Dexter: Hmmph.
Sebastian: Now I throw the ball to first base, who-ever it is grabs the ball, so the guy runs to second.
Dexter: Uh-huh.
Sebastian: Who picks up the ball and throws it to what. What throws it to I don't know. I don't know throws it back to tomorrow -- a triple play.
Dexter: Yeah. It could be.
Sebastian: Another guy gets up and it's a long fly ball to center. Why? I don't know. And I don't care.
Dexter: What was that?
Sebastian: I said, I DON'T CARE.
Dexter: Oh, that's our shortstop!
