I think it's time to unleash the creative power and mockery skills that many of the snarky people here on the Dims board appear to have in a series of mock informercials. I'll get the ball rolling on this thread with the following entry, which I'd like to state for the record, is a parody and hopefully protected by the First Amendment so that I don't have more lawsuits slapped on my ass than pimples on a 15 year old's face.
"Hi, I'm Angelina Jolie. You may remember me from such films as Lara Croft: Tomb Raider and Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, as well as the upcoming Kung Fu Panda, my marriage to Billy Bob Thorton and that creepy tongue kiss of my brother at the Oscars.
I'm here today to talk to you about a subject near and dear to my heart: lip unfabulousness. Each day, millions of women and children around the world suffer from a lack of fabulousness for their lips. As I've traveled the world, I see the pain and shame in their eyes as they face another day with less-than-fabulous lips.
Together, though, we can change that. For just pennies a day, you too can help bring fabulous lips to children like little Marlawee here. The Angelina Jolie Stop Lip Unfabulousness Relief Programme (SLURP) works to bring collagen injections, high-quality eco-friendly shade-grown sustanably-packaged recycled lip gloss and volunteer department store makeup counter makeover experts to developing countries to help these woman and childre achieve the fabulous lips that we take for granted. No long will they have to cover their mouths when they talk, ashamed of their unfabulous lips.
And if you act NOW, your donation will also allow us to include, along with all of these benefits, the Angelina Jolie Lipmaster 3000, guaranteed to help maintain healthy fabulous lips for a lifetime, so that no matter what the future holds, little Marlawee will not have to face it with unfabulous lips.
So please, call this toll-free number (800-FAB-LIPS) to make your donation now. Just $19.99 a month, less that the typical smallest bill you can withdraw from an ATM machine, can change a life.......forever."
"Hi, I'm Angelina Jolie. You may remember me from such films as Lara Croft: Tomb Raider and Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow, as well as the upcoming Kung Fu Panda, my marriage to Billy Bob Thorton and that creepy tongue kiss of my brother at the Oscars.
I'm here today to talk to you about a subject near and dear to my heart: lip unfabulousness. Each day, millions of women and children around the world suffer from a lack of fabulousness for their lips. As I've traveled the world, I see the pain and shame in their eyes as they face another day with less-than-fabulous lips.
Together, though, we can change that. For just pennies a day, you too can help bring fabulous lips to children like little Marlawee here. The Angelina Jolie Stop Lip Unfabulousness Relief Programme (SLURP) works to bring collagen injections, high-quality eco-friendly shade-grown sustanably-packaged recycled lip gloss and volunteer department store makeup counter makeover experts to developing countries to help these woman and childre achieve the fabulous lips that we take for granted. No long will they have to cover their mouths when they talk, ashamed of their unfabulous lips.
And if you act NOW, your donation will also allow us to include, along with all of these benefits, the Angelina Jolie Lipmaster 3000, guaranteed to help maintain healthy fabulous lips for a lifetime, so that no matter what the future holds, little Marlawee will not have to face it with unfabulous lips.
So please, call this toll-free number (800-FAB-LIPS) to make your donation now. Just $19.99 a month, less that the typical smallest bill you can withdraw from an ATM machine, can change a life.......forever."
