No-No-Badkitty
Purrrrrrrrr~
With the heat on the Ruby thread( regarding FA) and a recent discussion between another Dimmer and myself...I wanted to bring up this topic because it really got my brain clunking.
The other Dimmer and I were chatting and she said she felt that being FA was a farce. That 90% of the people who say that they are FA aren't. I think that she felt that the proof of this was in how many FA's have wound up with thin girls leaving the Fat girls that they have flirted with so much, behind.
My personal experience is this. My husband, to my knowledge has never been an "FA". He did however fall in love with me, for who I am, and is with me without bias or expectation of change. In my mind, yes, I do have a very difficult time processing that men or women can be attracted to a fat physique. Mostly because of how society has brow beat me. I can accept it, and yes I want to believe it as fact, and evidence says it is fact, however her argument really got me to thinking...
And the things that came to mind...well...bothered me.
Are we as fat men and women only objects...or are we people? Are those who are truly attracted to us, attracted to US and not just our body shapes? I realize shape is the first factor...but it it the ONLY factor...
The only experience I have with true FA's (or what I perceive to be true) is on this board. I have been in the Fat community for years but never among or exposed to the "sexual" side of it. Where fat men and women are idolized. I admit...I love seeing all the women who do the paysites and I am SO proud of them for being able to love themselves and show the world that fat women are beautiful too! But because of my zilch experience with FA's, it boggles my mind that a guy would do a double take on me, not because I am fat, but because he is attracted to the fact that I am fat.
So we are back to the origninal problem. Is FA real? Or is it a Farce? Is it a stage that a person enters because of curiosity or maybe low self esteem? Is FA something that drives and individual? And is it something that is truly undeniable? Will in fact, most of the people who claim to be FA only go on to marry normal sized people, so they can have "normal" lives?
The other Dimmer and I were chatting and she said she felt that being FA was a farce. That 90% of the people who say that they are FA aren't. I think that she felt that the proof of this was in how many FA's have wound up with thin girls leaving the Fat girls that they have flirted with so much, behind.
My personal experience is this. My husband, to my knowledge has never been an "FA". He did however fall in love with me, for who I am, and is with me without bias or expectation of change. In my mind, yes, I do have a very difficult time processing that men or women can be attracted to a fat physique. Mostly because of how society has brow beat me. I can accept it, and yes I want to believe it as fact, and evidence says it is fact, however her argument really got me to thinking...
And the things that came to mind...well...bothered me.
Are we as fat men and women only objects...or are we people? Are those who are truly attracted to us, attracted to US and not just our body shapes? I realize shape is the first factor...but it it the ONLY factor...
The only experience I have with true FA's (or what I perceive to be true) is on this board. I have been in the Fat community for years but never among or exposed to the "sexual" side of it. Where fat men and women are idolized. I admit...I love seeing all the women who do the paysites and I am SO proud of them for being able to love themselves and show the world that fat women are beautiful too! But because of my zilch experience with FA's, it boggles my mind that a guy would do a double take on me, not because I am fat, but because he is attracted to the fact that I am fat.
So we are back to the origninal problem. Is FA real? Or is it a Farce? Is it a stage that a person enters because of curiosity or maybe low self esteem? Is FA something that drives and individual? And is it something that is truly undeniable? Will in fact, most of the people who claim to be FA only go on to marry normal sized people, so they can have "normal" lives?
