There have been times when I gave into having sex with a man just so I wouldn't become violently raped and at least he would use a condom. Yes, I did try to get away and fought them, but they were stronger than me. And the more I fought, the more violent they would become, so I just gave in.
Afterwards, I would feel confused about whether I should call the police or not. Wouldn't they see it as consensual sex, since I gave in? I didn't see what choice I had, but have sex with them or get beat up and raped anyway or possibly killed. In the end, I've always decided not to call. But it still felt like I've been raped. Even though I gave in. I felt like I didn't have control over my own body. Even if I said "no" they were going to find a way to do it anyway. That was what sex was like in my 20's on up until my 30s and I left the father of my children. Most of the time with him, I had sex with him just so he wouldn't become violent. Yes, it was a domestic violence situation with him...
Now, I no longer trust a man if he wants our 1st date to be at a place where we are alone. That is just a set up for being raped. I've been through it too many times to know. I once had a guy I was dating who put something in my drink while he went to buy it when we were watching a movie at the theater. I've had all types of tricks pulled on me.
Just like in clubs. A lot of guys don't dance with the ladies there. They just stand by the sidelines and watch them dance with each other, wait for them to get a little drunk, then dance with them and try to take advantage of them. I've been through it and seen it happen many times.
Afterwards, I would feel confused about whether I should call the police or not. Wouldn't they see it as consensual sex, since I gave in? I didn't see what choice I had, but have sex with them or get beat up and raped anyway or possibly killed. In the end, I've always decided not to call. But it still felt like I've been raped. Even though I gave in. I felt like I didn't have control over my own body. Even if I said "no" they were going to find a way to do it anyway. That was what sex was like in my 20's on up until my 30s and I left the father of my children. Most of the time with him, I had sex with him just so he wouldn't become violent. Yes, it was a domestic violence situation with him...
Now, I no longer trust a man if he wants our 1st date to be at a place where we are alone. That is just a set up for being raped. I've been through it too many times to know. I once had a guy I was dating who put something in my drink while he went to buy it when we were watching a movie at the theater. I've had all types of tricks pulled on me.
Just like in clubs. A lot of guys don't dance with the ladies there. They just stand by the sidelines and watch them dance with each other, wait for them to get a little drunk, then dance with them and try to take advantage of them. I've been through it and seen it happen many times.
