So, I have been wondering this for a bit, actually. Many folks have fantasy figures, and I am sure that someone has an opinion on the subject.
And my offering...a little SW Fan Fiction (And I am barely a fan at this point, Mr Lucas has quite destroyed my childhood memories of the 3 original movies...)
I present to you, Jabba the Hutt, SSBHM (Well, it is really a stab at Fetishes, but a funny one, I think.)
Luke Skywalker: Seriously, we came all this way to rescue you and I mean...sorry dude.
Han Solo: I don't get it...I read the script, I get the girl.
Luke: I'll talk with her, she might listen to me. I sort of have this Force thing down...
Boba Fett (Noshing on a gyro between scenes)
"That ain't gonna help ya,Skywalker...Leia's got it bad for the Big Guy.
She's FFA, all the way. I've seen it before. Hutt's Smoove..."
Han Solo: Crap, Chewie's a Furry...he's been wearing that damned suit for years, refuses to talk in anything but 'Wookie'talk.
Then there's that thing I found you doing with the Taun Taun on Hoth...'
Luke: Hey man, you said you'd never mention that again...I am from the Farm. Sheeit, back home, you should see what those Jawas will do for a little hooch and some spare droid parts...'
Boba Fett: 'Hey man, I'm trying to eat over here!!! '
Han Solo: Sorry Fett. And now Leia...she said she wasn't into a guy unless he weighed at least 2 tons. I mean, I've put on a little weight since Star Wars...'
Luke: You mean A New Hope?
Fett: Pshaw...Don't get me started on Re imaginings, they turned me into a whiny Tongan kid in those damed Prequels.
R2-D2: "Retor-darto-Etorr Weel Re-ort!"
Fett: The little guy's got a point, at least none of us looks like a dildo.
Han Solo: Point taken Short stuff. And I've seen the way C3-PO looks at you. Does he even know that he's gay? I mean...Come out of the closet already, we all know, we all still accept you. Just...come out already.
Luke: Um, so, what'll we do now? There's some Banthas out near the Jundland Wastes who are real friendly...'
Fett: Jeesus!!! Oh sorry. Um, By the Force, Enough already. Solo, do you really hang with this guy? I mean, C'mon...
Luke" Fett, dude, I think you've just said more than in the entire Trilogy. What gives?
Fett: It was Vader. He's a control freak. Didn't want me to get more popular than him. It's in his contract. He's a total Dom, have you seen that get-up? The Fett don't play that way, so I just stayed quiet. You should have seen some of the stuff he wanted me to say in Empire...Anyways, let's blow this pop stand, I feel a wicked thirst comin' on, and the Fett needs some Mai Tai love.
Han: Ok, Ok...Ah screw it, let's go to Mos Eisley and get some Hookers and Blow.
R2-D2: "Gre-tor E-tor Reowr!"
Han: Yeah, yeah...and a lube job for you.
-Uriel
And my offering...a little SW Fan Fiction (And I am barely a fan at this point, Mr Lucas has quite destroyed my childhood memories of the 3 original movies...)
I present to you, Jabba the Hutt, SSBHM (Well, it is really a stab at Fetishes, but a funny one, I think.)
Luke Skywalker: Seriously, we came all this way to rescue you and I mean...sorry dude.
Han Solo: I don't get it...I read the script, I get the girl.
Luke: I'll talk with her, she might listen to me. I sort of have this Force thing down...
Boba Fett (Noshing on a gyro between scenes)
"That ain't gonna help ya,Skywalker...Leia's got it bad for the Big Guy.
She's FFA, all the way. I've seen it before. Hutt's Smoove..."
Han Solo: Crap, Chewie's a Furry...he's been wearing that damned suit for years, refuses to talk in anything but 'Wookie'talk.
Then there's that thing I found you doing with the Taun Taun on Hoth...'
Luke: Hey man, you said you'd never mention that again...I am from the Farm. Sheeit, back home, you should see what those Jawas will do for a little hooch and some spare droid parts...'
Boba Fett: 'Hey man, I'm trying to eat over here!!! '
Han Solo: Sorry Fett. And now Leia...she said she wasn't into a guy unless he weighed at least 2 tons. I mean, I've put on a little weight since Star Wars...'
Luke: You mean A New Hope?
Fett: Pshaw...Don't get me started on Re imaginings, they turned me into a whiny Tongan kid in those damed Prequels.
R2-D2: "Retor-darto-Etorr Weel Re-ort!"
Fett: The little guy's got a point, at least none of us looks like a dildo.
Han Solo: Point taken Short stuff. And I've seen the way C3-PO looks at you. Does he even know that he's gay? I mean...Come out of the closet already, we all know, we all still accept you. Just...come out already.
Luke: Um, so, what'll we do now? There's some Banthas out near the Jundland Wastes who are real friendly...'
Fett: Jeesus!!! Oh sorry. Um, By the Force, Enough already. Solo, do you really hang with this guy? I mean, C'mon...
Luke" Fett, dude, I think you've just said more than in the entire Trilogy. What gives?
Fett: It was Vader. He's a control freak. Didn't want me to get more popular than him. It's in his contract. He's a total Dom, have you seen that get-up? The Fett don't play that way, so I just stayed quiet. You should have seen some of the stuff he wanted me to say in Empire...Anyways, let's blow this pop stand, I feel a wicked thirst comin' on, and the Fett needs some Mai Tai love.
Han: Ok, Ok...Ah screw it, let's go to Mos Eisley and get some Hookers and Blow.
R2-D2: "Gre-tor E-tor Reowr!"
Han: Yeah, yeah...and a lube job for you.
-Uriel
