So I'm interested in a guy who isn't an FA so it's been difficult for me to gauge whether his nice reactions/comments are more than friendly or not. So I've been having a few discussions about it with my best male friend. We'd hang out or have a nice discussion and I'd call my friend to get his opinion. Same thing he's done with me about his gf's for years.
Well, a few days ago, my friend said to me in reference to the guy "Well, I'm going to be frank, and it's not something you don't already know, but it's the weight...(he'd be pursuing you) if only you were not just a little chubby...and sure you've lost weight, but being that big is unhealthy anyway..." I felt like a deflated balloon after he said that, especially since he's made it quite clear over the years that he likes "chubby" girls (tho our definitions of chubby are vastly different, but whatever), and I just don't remember any of the conversation after that except to call him out on the health comment in the calmest voice I could muster.
What really made me mad was that even tho we've been close friends, no best friends for almost a decade, that he clearly hasn't been listening to anything I've ever said about how it's possible for fat people to still be healthy or anything else about fatness for that matter. I just interpreted his words as "not only are you not good(looking) enough but you're unhealthy too and you know it," which just makes me wonder why he's friends with me if he thinks that about me....and the tone in his voice...it happened four days ago, but I'm still upset about it. What's worse is that I don't think he was saying it to be mean, but I'm just not sure why he would say something like that knowing how anxious I've been about the guy I'm interested in in the first place.
Well he called me twice the next day and left a message asking if I was feeling better (presumably about the guy). I've been so upset I don't want to talk to him. I feel like if I look at him or talk to him all I'll be able to see is how gross and unhealthy he thinks I am.
I'm posting about it cause I'm just not sure what to do, and I wonder has anyone else gone thru something similar, and if so what did you do? Usually I can handle such things, but I feel like part of my world has been turned upside down. My best female friend thinks I overreacted and suggested I talk to him about it. I wonder now, *did* I overreact? Should I chalk it up to him not knowing any better and try to forget about it, or do I really need to examine this friendship? Should I throw away eight years of friendship over such a comment? Do I even bother to try to set him straight if nothing I've ever said about fatness seems to have made a difference?
...Any comments/opinions would be appreciated. And thanks for listening.
Well, a few days ago, my friend said to me in reference to the guy "Well, I'm going to be frank, and it's not something you don't already know, but it's the weight...(he'd be pursuing you) if only you were not just a little chubby...and sure you've lost weight, but being that big is unhealthy anyway..." I felt like a deflated balloon after he said that, especially since he's made it quite clear over the years that he likes "chubby" girls (tho our definitions of chubby are vastly different, but whatever), and I just don't remember any of the conversation after that except to call him out on the health comment in the calmest voice I could muster.
What really made me mad was that even tho we've been close friends, no best friends for almost a decade, that he clearly hasn't been listening to anything I've ever said about how it's possible for fat people to still be healthy or anything else about fatness for that matter. I just interpreted his words as "not only are you not good(looking) enough but you're unhealthy too and you know it," which just makes me wonder why he's friends with me if he thinks that about me....and the tone in his voice...it happened four days ago, but I'm still upset about it. What's worse is that I don't think he was saying it to be mean, but I'm just not sure why he would say something like that knowing how anxious I've been about the guy I'm interested in in the first place.
Well he called me twice the next day and left a message asking if I was feeling better (presumably about the guy). I've been so upset I don't want to talk to him. I feel like if I look at him or talk to him all I'll be able to see is how gross and unhealthy he thinks I am.
I'm posting about it cause I'm just not sure what to do, and I wonder has anyone else gone thru something similar, and if so what did you do? Usually I can handle such things, but I feel like part of my world has been turned upside down. My best female friend thinks I overreacted and suggested I talk to him about it. I wonder now, *did* I overreact? Should I chalk it up to him not knowing any better and try to forget about it, or do I really need to examine this friendship? Should I throw away eight years of friendship over such a comment? Do I even bother to try to set him straight if nothing I've ever said about fatness seems to have made a difference?
...Any comments/opinions would be appreciated. And thanks for listening.
