yrmangledheart
Member
This thread is to detail the people in my life who have influenced me and made me secure in my feelings towards weight gain, fat & BBWs. I hope you enjoy reading and reply with your own history of weight-gain and the people along the way.
1. My Auntie. 4 years onwards.
Although I was, obviously, never sexually attracted to my Auntie, she was the first very large person in my life and I felt tremendously comfortable around her. I was drawn to her, more-so than any other relatives. I felt secure when hugged by her and was fascinated by her size and eating habits. Although this was entirely innocent, time spent with her was, in retrospect, my first fat-positive experience. I am entirely that certain regardless of who I was surrounded with in childhood and regardless of who I have met in life, I would still have the same preferences I do now. However, people such as my Auntie allowed these thoughts to come to the forefront of my mind and certainly influenced how I felt in regards to fat people, weight-gain and eating. I remember her fondly as an early influence and those were my first memories that fat was just .. better.
2. Childhood friends. 5-13 years. There are two particular individuals from this period of time who were important to my formative years.
The first was my best friend throughout childhood. Whilst I was not in any way overweight at this age, he was the largest child in my class. I don't believe that this was an influence on our friendship as we were genuinely inseperable but I remember always being aware of how large he was compared to other children, including myself. We did everything together, reading comic books, watching movies, playing video games and whatever slightly limited sporting/outdoor activities he wanted to take part in. I spent a lot of time at his house and I have to say his mother was perhaps my first BBW crush. She was a fairly large woman, around 350 pounds, and I was very smitten with her, although not aware of this as I was still relatively young at the time. I was amazed at how much she and her son would eat and found myself with access to as much food as I wanted when I was at their house. Not only in huge amounts but food that was scare in my own house; pizza, fries, cakes, cookies, and endless amounts of soda. This was something that did not please my parents and I remember being scolded for overeating at his on many occasions. I have no doubts that spending so much time at his house, with his mother making such a huge amount of food, was the main reason I went from a stick-thin toddler and child to a chubbier, filled-out teenager. Ironically I saw my friend fairly recently, these ten+ years later, and he has dropped all his weight, to the extent I didn't initially recognise him. It was really strange and something I'd never have expected.
The second person from this time was a girl from school, in some of my classes, who was my second BBW crush and the first one with any real impact. She was a spectacularly large girl for her age and, although I didn't perhaps realise at the time, her size was the first thing that attracted me to her. We became friends and I was a staunch supporter of her, defending her when other children would call her cruel names. I was simply in awe of her and we struck up quite an important friendship. It was one that went on throughout our teenage years and came to fruition with a few kisses later in life. She was the first girl who truely made me realise, as I reached 12/13 years old, that not only did I find females very appealing but I specifically was interested in fat females. It was sometime before I realised how common this was in the male species, but I relished it all the same.
Aside from these two people I just generally was in awe of any fat people by this age but unsure what it meant. I loved to eat and would stuff myself with food when my parents were out the house, yet I had no idea why it appealed so much. I would often stuff my clothing to give the impression I was fat, whilst alone in my room. I began to be aware how much all aspects of size appealed to me and how often fat people would dominate my thoughts.
3. Teenage years. 12-17. Again their are two people who instantly spring to mind as being a huge part of this period of my life.
The first was someone who made my school days all the sweeter and I will definitely never forget her. It is usually assumed that school nurses will be figures of health but the school nurse in my highschool was not what people would consider a health icon, in the conventional sense. She was a beautiful SSBBW who waddled around the school corridors and had an amazing pearshaped figure, with a gigantic stomach. I began to, as shameful as this is, invent headaches, stomach-aches and flu in an effort to see her but it simply wasn't enough. I craved conversation about her size as, by this age, I had realised that simply a non-sexual, normal conversation about weight and eating was enough to greatly excite me. By 13 I had became fairly chubby and had a large spare-tyre along with a fatter face. I mentioned to her I was unhappy being overweight and asked what I could do. My plan had far better results than even I could have assumed it would. She launched into a detailed talk about her size, her weight, her eating habits and her desire to lose weight. We began speaking weekly about this and she was baffled that neither of us were succesful in our attempts to lose weight, although her attempts were far more genuine than mine. My most sexual memory from these years was one day when I slightly lifted my shirt to allow my belly to flop over my waist band, pointing its growth out to her. She replied in turn, lifted her shirt slightly and displayed a sea of stomach and folds, telling me she had far more to worry about. It was the most incredible sight to me! She used to say she was confident she would see me later in life, tall, broad and slender, and maybe she'd have lost a few pounds too. I saw her two years ago and both of us were bigger, she joked that perhaps we would never have that meeting with both of us slim. She was such an amazing person and although I was never fully honest with her, I appreciated her being there.
The second person from this period of time was a neighbour who was a similar size to the school nurse, if perhaps 50 pounds lighter. Whenever my parents were working late I was expected to go to her house as I didn't have a key at the time. She was a particularly lazy woman, something that thrilled me, and she would always throw herself on the couch and remain there. She seemed intent on always supplying me with junk food, chips, chocolate, buttered toast, soda or whatever was in the cupboard. However, the difference between her and the school nurse or my friend's mother was she had NO TACT AT ALL. Now for most children this would be devastating. It would be quite crushing to hear "I'm sure you'll want me to make you a pizza chubster" whilst she'd prod my belly to tease me or have her say "god, the way you eat you'll be bigger than me in a year, you definitely look so much bigger than you did last summer, can you still wear kids trousers?". She didn't do it to be cruel, it was just her nature, but most children would be driven to tears. However, I didn't care and took great glee in her pointing out that I was filling out or putting her hands on her stomach and sighing; "ah well, there are worse things to be than overweight son". We moved away from there a year or two later but by this point I was old enough to be home alone anyway. I still often saw her on the street and we'd chat for a bit though.
4. 16/17 - 22 (Present day). By the time I was 16 I was fully aware of my feelings and fully aware of the fat-admiration that is alive and well, all over the world. I had discovered the Internet and sites such as this one. I had had two or three girlfriends, all overweight, and I was aware that BBWs turned me on, and the bigger the better. I knew the thought of a girl gaining weight steadily and consistantly was a huge turn-on and was aware of terms such as feeding and feeder. I was also aware that I was interested in my own weight and loved nothing more than eating huge amounts. However, the pressure of being a teenager loomed over me and due to the realisation that other people didn't love fat people as much as I did, I kept a lid on my feelings and didn't eat as much as I could've. I was scared of becoming particularly overweight despite my desire to and stayed around the 200 pound mark (at 5' 10") for fear of being teased. I was already occasionally laughed at for my weight although I was quite popular in school. I didn't want to, however, risk any further attention being drawn to me, so stayed around the same weight. I did, however, continue to be drawn to overweight people.
I had one girlfriend who was at least 100 pounds heavier than me and I lost my virginity to her at 17. We spent a huge part of our relationship eating together and my weight went up slightly but never stayed there as I ate sensibily in public and had a lot of exercise, walking and sex
.
The last person to feature in this thread was one of the last girls I slept with, a beautiful girl called Nina who was around 450 pounds. It was my first experience of sleeping with someone so large and lived up to every fantasy I had ever had about it. We lost touch but she confirmed everything I have ever thought I felt about girls, weight and gaining. I am confident now I could never be with a slim girl and would love nothing more to date a girl who wanted to gain weight. The term feeder un-nerves me slightly as it suggests a more forceful aspect but I would love to help her gain and gain until she was happy with her size. The bigger the better basically.
As for me, I am at a stage in my life where although my gut instinct is to gain weight, and always will be, I cannot right now. I am not confident enough to gain with abandon and I do not feel sure enough that it is the correct lifestyle choice for me at this early stage in my life. I want to be active and relatively small throughout my twenties as it is in-keeping with my lifestyle. What I do know is that it is a part of me that will never fade and I am certain one day I will make that transition, to 300, 400, maybe 500 pounds. Just need to find the right woman to settle with who will let me and maybe even help me. I am on my way though, as I have now settled at a weight of around 215, over a stone heavier than I was in my late teens.
I hope you enjoyed this read, it is an entirely truthful tale of the people in my life who have been turning points in my journey towards accepting my feelings towards size and encouraging me and inspiring me.
Please reply with your similar landmark people, so to speak.
1. My Auntie. 4 years onwards.
Although I was, obviously, never sexually attracted to my Auntie, she was the first very large person in my life and I felt tremendously comfortable around her. I was drawn to her, more-so than any other relatives. I felt secure when hugged by her and was fascinated by her size and eating habits. Although this was entirely innocent, time spent with her was, in retrospect, my first fat-positive experience. I am entirely that certain regardless of who I was surrounded with in childhood and regardless of who I have met in life, I would still have the same preferences I do now. However, people such as my Auntie allowed these thoughts to come to the forefront of my mind and certainly influenced how I felt in regards to fat people, weight-gain and eating. I remember her fondly as an early influence and those were my first memories that fat was just .. better.
2. Childhood friends. 5-13 years. There are two particular individuals from this period of time who were important to my formative years.
The first was my best friend throughout childhood. Whilst I was not in any way overweight at this age, he was the largest child in my class. I don't believe that this was an influence on our friendship as we were genuinely inseperable but I remember always being aware of how large he was compared to other children, including myself. We did everything together, reading comic books, watching movies, playing video games and whatever slightly limited sporting/outdoor activities he wanted to take part in. I spent a lot of time at his house and I have to say his mother was perhaps my first BBW crush. She was a fairly large woman, around 350 pounds, and I was very smitten with her, although not aware of this as I was still relatively young at the time. I was amazed at how much she and her son would eat and found myself with access to as much food as I wanted when I was at their house. Not only in huge amounts but food that was scare in my own house; pizza, fries, cakes, cookies, and endless amounts of soda. This was something that did not please my parents and I remember being scolded for overeating at his on many occasions. I have no doubts that spending so much time at his house, with his mother making such a huge amount of food, was the main reason I went from a stick-thin toddler and child to a chubbier, filled-out teenager. Ironically I saw my friend fairly recently, these ten+ years later, and he has dropped all his weight, to the extent I didn't initially recognise him. It was really strange and something I'd never have expected.
The second person from this time was a girl from school, in some of my classes, who was my second BBW crush and the first one with any real impact. She was a spectacularly large girl for her age and, although I didn't perhaps realise at the time, her size was the first thing that attracted me to her. We became friends and I was a staunch supporter of her, defending her when other children would call her cruel names. I was simply in awe of her and we struck up quite an important friendship. It was one that went on throughout our teenage years and came to fruition with a few kisses later in life. She was the first girl who truely made me realise, as I reached 12/13 years old, that not only did I find females very appealing but I specifically was interested in fat females. It was sometime before I realised how common this was in the male species, but I relished it all the same.
Aside from these two people I just generally was in awe of any fat people by this age but unsure what it meant. I loved to eat and would stuff myself with food when my parents were out the house, yet I had no idea why it appealed so much. I would often stuff my clothing to give the impression I was fat, whilst alone in my room. I began to be aware how much all aspects of size appealed to me and how often fat people would dominate my thoughts.
3. Teenage years. 12-17. Again their are two people who instantly spring to mind as being a huge part of this period of my life.
The first was someone who made my school days all the sweeter and I will definitely never forget her. It is usually assumed that school nurses will be figures of health but the school nurse in my highschool was not what people would consider a health icon, in the conventional sense. She was a beautiful SSBBW who waddled around the school corridors and had an amazing pearshaped figure, with a gigantic stomach. I began to, as shameful as this is, invent headaches, stomach-aches and flu in an effort to see her but it simply wasn't enough. I craved conversation about her size as, by this age, I had realised that simply a non-sexual, normal conversation about weight and eating was enough to greatly excite me. By 13 I had became fairly chubby and had a large spare-tyre along with a fatter face. I mentioned to her I was unhappy being overweight and asked what I could do. My plan had far better results than even I could have assumed it would. She launched into a detailed talk about her size, her weight, her eating habits and her desire to lose weight. We began speaking weekly about this and she was baffled that neither of us were succesful in our attempts to lose weight, although her attempts were far more genuine than mine. My most sexual memory from these years was one day when I slightly lifted my shirt to allow my belly to flop over my waist band, pointing its growth out to her. She replied in turn, lifted her shirt slightly and displayed a sea of stomach and folds, telling me she had far more to worry about. It was the most incredible sight to me! She used to say she was confident she would see me later in life, tall, broad and slender, and maybe she'd have lost a few pounds too. I saw her two years ago and both of us were bigger, she joked that perhaps we would never have that meeting with both of us slim. She was such an amazing person and although I was never fully honest with her, I appreciated her being there.
The second person from this period of time was a neighbour who was a similar size to the school nurse, if perhaps 50 pounds lighter. Whenever my parents were working late I was expected to go to her house as I didn't have a key at the time. She was a particularly lazy woman, something that thrilled me, and she would always throw herself on the couch and remain there. She seemed intent on always supplying me with junk food, chips, chocolate, buttered toast, soda or whatever was in the cupboard. However, the difference between her and the school nurse or my friend's mother was she had NO TACT AT ALL. Now for most children this would be devastating. It would be quite crushing to hear "I'm sure you'll want me to make you a pizza chubster" whilst she'd prod my belly to tease me or have her say "god, the way you eat you'll be bigger than me in a year, you definitely look so much bigger than you did last summer, can you still wear kids trousers?". She didn't do it to be cruel, it was just her nature, but most children would be driven to tears. However, I didn't care and took great glee in her pointing out that I was filling out or putting her hands on her stomach and sighing; "ah well, there are worse things to be than overweight son". We moved away from there a year or two later but by this point I was old enough to be home alone anyway. I still often saw her on the street and we'd chat for a bit though.
4. 16/17 - 22 (Present day). By the time I was 16 I was fully aware of my feelings and fully aware of the fat-admiration that is alive and well, all over the world. I had discovered the Internet and sites such as this one. I had had two or three girlfriends, all overweight, and I was aware that BBWs turned me on, and the bigger the better. I knew the thought of a girl gaining weight steadily and consistantly was a huge turn-on and was aware of terms such as feeding and feeder. I was also aware that I was interested in my own weight and loved nothing more than eating huge amounts. However, the pressure of being a teenager loomed over me and due to the realisation that other people didn't love fat people as much as I did, I kept a lid on my feelings and didn't eat as much as I could've. I was scared of becoming particularly overweight despite my desire to and stayed around the 200 pound mark (at 5' 10") for fear of being teased. I was already occasionally laughed at for my weight although I was quite popular in school. I didn't want to, however, risk any further attention being drawn to me, so stayed around the same weight. I did, however, continue to be drawn to overweight people.
I had one girlfriend who was at least 100 pounds heavier than me and I lost my virginity to her at 17. We spent a huge part of our relationship eating together and my weight went up slightly but never stayed there as I ate sensibily in public and had a lot of exercise, walking and sex
.The last person to feature in this thread was one of the last girls I slept with, a beautiful girl called Nina who was around 450 pounds. It was my first experience of sleeping with someone so large and lived up to every fantasy I had ever had about it. We lost touch but she confirmed everything I have ever thought I felt about girls, weight and gaining. I am confident now I could never be with a slim girl and would love nothing more to date a girl who wanted to gain weight. The term feeder un-nerves me slightly as it suggests a more forceful aspect but I would love to help her gain and gain until she was happy with her size. The bigger the better basically.
As for me, I am at a stage in my life where although my gut instinct is to gain weight, and always will be, I cannot right now. I am not confident enough to gain with abandon and I do not feel sure enough that it is the correct lifestyle choice for me at this early stage in my life. I want to be active and relatively small throughout my twenties as it is in-keeping with my lifestyle. What I do know is that it is a part of me that will never fade and I am certain one day I will make that transition, to 300, 400, maybe 500 pounds. Just need to find the right woman to settle with who will let me
and maybe even help me. I am on my way though, as I have now settled at a weight of around 215, over a stone heavier than I was in my late teens. I hope you enjoyed this read, it is an entirely truthful tale of the people in my life who have been turning points in my journey towards accepting my feelings towards size and encouraging me and inspiring me.
Please reply with your similar landmark people, so to speak.
